All language subtitles for Northern Exposure s05e16 Northern Hospitality.eng

Oh, man. Too much chow,
Adam, buddy.

Mmm. It's
an incredible meal.

Absolutely.
It's actually excellent.

What would you say is the
secret to something like this?

What's the secret?
Yeah.

What is that, a- a joke?
You want to try this at home?

Why don't we get Frank Lloyd Wright
in here next to talk about Fallingwater.

Maybe you want to
add on a den.

More, um, chambertin?

If you insist. My good friend
Miss O'Connell here is driving.

Oh. Well, I certainly
have to hand it to you, Fleischman.

You sure do know how to get
yourself taken care of, don't you?

There's crepes Normandy
for dessert.

Madam Mayor.

I happen to have known that she was
coming out here. I hitched a ride.

It's called ride sharing, you know?
Say, that reminds me, Adam.

Maurice has this whole mess of peaches
coming in from Georgia.

Well, he ordered them
before he got his leg hurt,

and now he probably won't be doing much
cooking, so maybe you should have 'em...

- on account they'll probably just go to rot.
- I can make him a peach cobbler.

- Better send a cobbler out to Fleischman too.
- Fleischman?

Well, it's pretty obvious
he's starving out there.

Hey, morning, Cicely.
Chris in the Morning with your wake-up call.

I bopped that snooze alarm bit
too much myself this morning.

I was up partying with Chef Adam,
grooving on his hospitality.

You know, being plied with fine food
always puts me in mind of the slammer...

'cause food was jumpin' in there too.

High fat, but nice and salty.

I think the worst deprivation in there
was my music.

Radio belonged to my cell mate,
the blond hammer,

and he was into that
jazz fusion thing at the time.

I'll tell you what, enough Spyro Gyra, and
you're hoping you'll get killed in a knife fight.

Anyway, I used to
sit around thinking about...

all the songs I wanted to hear
when I got out, and this is one of them.

First song I played on that Kmart turntable
my first day of freedom.

It'll never sound as good as it did that day.
Tell you that right now.

Hey, there.
Oh. Hey, Fleischman.

Look. Pickled tomatoes. You better
get one before they're all gone.

Wow. Wonderful.

Hey.
Hmm.

Can I ask you a question?
Yeah.

You know, I- I know I'm probably
making too much of this,

but I been thinking about that comment
that was made last night. What comment?

Well, that I really know how to
get myself taken care of. Yeah. So?

Wh-What do you think
that meant?

Well, Fleischman, I think that
- that, you know, you get invited out to dinner a lot,

and you don't always
return the favor.

What?
That is so not true.

Come on. Last year, I had everyone over
after the Stanley Cup for Ramos fizzes.

I mean, come on. Well, that's not
exactly the same thing, Fleischman.

It's universal, Fleischman. Around here
it dates back to the frontier days...

when there wasn't
enough food to go around, right?

I had absolutely no idea
that I was this remiss.

It's no big deal, Fleischman. We've
just all come to accept it about you.

I think there's a Yiddish
word for it. Schorrer?

- Schnorrer?
- Yeah.

You're telling me you think
I'm a schnorrer, O'Connell?

Do you have any idea
what you just said?

A schnorrer is someone who comes into your house
and opens your refrigerator and starts eating.

- I thought that was fressing.
- Look, I'm not gonna get into a Yiddish bee with you.

You're telling me that you think I owe the
people in this town a dinner party, right?

Like a sit-down thing where I cook
all day and then I clean up after?

- Is that it?
- Yeah.

All right. Well,
if that's the reality, then...

then I have to have a party.

Tomorrow's Miranda's
first checkup.

She's gotta get
a shot and everything.

I hope Dr. Fleischman doesn't think
that rash is anything to worry about.

Shelly, don't even say that.

Well, babies get stuff, H.-

jaundice and colic and croup.

You can't get
freaked out about it.

My friend Iris, back in B. C.,

her little boy was in the emergency room
five times before his first birthday.

And that was just your basic
bumps and fevers. Really?

That could get expensive.

No sweat. If she ever needs a
big deal operation or something,

we just take her back to Canada.

National Health
picks up the tab.

It's times like this you
gotta be glad to be a Canuck.

Well, I'm not.
Not glad?

Not a Canadian.

So you're a Quebecer.

We're all one
under the big maple leaf, H.

I'm not a Quebecer.
Québécois.

I'm an American. I gave
up my Canadian citizenship.

Get on!

You can't do that.
Already have.

Without telling me?

It was a long time ago,
before I met you.

But when we first met,
you said you were from Canada.

I'm in Alaska now.
I'm a U. S. citizen.

Hey, Walt.
Chris, I've been looking for you.

Cash. Don't you love it
when that happens?

How's things on the other side of
the tundra, buddy? Long time no speak.

Not so good. I got some bad
news for you, Chris. For me?

You know Edgar Hankins?

Edgar Hankins. Hankins, Hankins.

Young fella.
Very talented taxidermist.

Stuffed that ferret
in my cabin.

Yes, I do. Tall guy with red hair.
He's a big Santana fan.

Calls in the station all the time
with requests. What about him?

He's dead.
He's dead. What happened?

Locked himself in the garage
with the truck running.

Oh, man.

Offed himself, huh?

Double suicide.
His goat was with him.

That's grievous, man.

Yes.

Hey, really don't know
how to tell you this.

Tell me what?

Well, it appears like he
laid it at your door.

Me?
Here.

"I cast my lot with Chris Stevens.

"He played the song on the radio
that said it all for me-

'Pencil neck Geek. "'

Fourteen people.
I must be out of my mind.

I can't cook for 14 people.

I don't see who I can cut.

Walt.
No.

I owe him. He had me over once for
this horrible venison casserole.

Mmm. Professor Mink.

Oh, no. He's a friend
of the family.

He wrote me recommendations
for med school.

Besides, he invites me over to his
house in Fairbanks every holiday.

Mom and Dad.

No. Your parents.
They're not on here.

Y- You think I need
to invite them?

Oh, it's up to you.

Yeah. They had me over
last spring for the whatsit.

Plover's eggs. Right.
Yeah. Those were delicious.

You know if
they're free that night?

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Marilyn's parents.
That's great.

Brings us up to 16.

Thanks for your help, Marilyn.

Can I bring anything?

Oh, yeah. You know what? Bread.
You make those great dinner rolls.

You have to let 'em rise
three times.

I'd have to start it
first thing in the morning.

You're a trooper. Thanks.

I mean, I don't get it.
$ 117, we could have eaten out for less.

Look- asparagus.
We got asparagus on this thing.

Six dollars a bunch.
That's like a buck a stalk.

Well, it's seasonal. It's
cheaper in the summer though.

- I didn't think of that.
- So, what are you making, Dr. Fleischman?

Poulet sauté...

Wow! No wonder
it's so expensive.

Chicken, Ed. Chicken with a lot
of stuff done to it, that's all.

Hey, did you get enough wine?

Yeah. I bought two bottles.

I assume people
bring some, right?

You don't mind if I go now,
Dr. Fleischman?

No. Thank you very much. I
appreciate it. Sure thing.

And you know, I'm really looking
forward to your party too.

You want me to bring anything?
Yeah, actually. You know what? Ice.

And beer, if you don't mind.
Doesn't matter. Any brand.

Sure thing.

Fleischman, you're not supposed
to ask people to bring anything.

- What? He- He offered.
- Yeah. But he was just being polite.

You know, manners?

- Did you get any chervil, Fleischman?
- No. That stuff's five bucks a pop.

What about fresh basil?
You did get that.

Well, no, actually, 'cause I
- I didn't think I'd have time to wash and cut it.

You know, I have a- a bottle of stuff
that'll be fine.

Canned mushrooms?

Yes. I happen to have been
raised on that stuff.

That explains a lot.
Thank you.

All right, listen. Have you thought about
where you're gonna seat everybody here?

Well, no, but, I mean, Ifigure
it's gonna be casual, right?

I mean, people will just find their seats and
- and they'll have their plates.

It'll be like a buffet I'll set up.

I'll bring some chairs.
Good.

What about plates and stuff?

Yes. There will be plates.
No problem.

We don't have to get
so uptight about this.

It'll just be fun, you know? I mean,
we'll have some food and some wine...

and good company.

Trust me.
It'll be fine.

I'll bring some plates.
Great.

We're here today to say good-bye
to good citizen Edgar Hankins.

His work will look down over all of us
from the walls all around Cicely.

I'm thinking in particular
of that beautiful spotted owl...

that's hanging in
the men's room at the Lodge.

I guess there's
no dancing around it.

Everybody here knows that young Edgar
says I hitched his wagon to the Reaper.

Look, I played a song
that was beautiful for me,

and for Edgar it hit a button
marked emotional meltdown.

Now, I don't know why that is.

I mean, two guys looked out through prison
bars and one saw mud, and one saw stars.

That's just how it works, I guess.

Maybe that's no excuse.

I mean, maybe those of us
who are lucky enough...

to touch people
through art or the airwaves...

have an obligation to think about
all those ears and eyes out there.

Anyway, innocently or not,
I put the last straw on Edgar's back.

I'm sorry, Edgar, my friend.

Mea culpa.

Oh. National Health Insurance.

Here we go down the sinkhole
of socialized medicine.

Like in England. Yeah. And look
what wonders it's done for them.

How to Flush an Empire Down
the Toilet, by Harold Wilson.

Works in Canada.
Oh, yes!

Let's all of a sudden
follow Canada's lead,

the world's best
second-raters.

- What do you mean?
- What do you think I mean?

These b-teamers
take an idea of ours,

put some moronic spin on it
and call it theirs.

Canadian football? The field's 15 yards
longer. There's 12 players instead of 11.

- Hello!
- It's like I'm always thinking, "Canadian bacon. "

What's that?
It's ham.

Well, what do you expect
from a country...

whose national emblem
is the beaver?

That's not true. The beaver
is not the national emblem.

Shelly, I'm sure that
they meant no offense.

They think Canada's
just some big joke.

No, no.
Just the eastern part.

- What do you mean by that?
- Come on.

Quebec? Even the French
don't want it.

I take exception to that.

You do? Even though
you're not a Bruno anymore?

The word is Québécois.

And I take as much pride in my
cultural heritage as the next guy.

What's the motto of Quebec?

Um...

- It's " I remember. "
- It is?

Je me souviens.

What does that even mean? Remember
what? You can't even remember the motto.

You know what the motto
of Saskatchewan is?

Multis e gentibus vires.

"From many people's strength. "

At least that means something.

Did you know the first aerial
ambulance service in the world...

- started in Saskatchewan?
- Really?

And Canada has one of the lowest
accidental death rates in the world.

Now that makes sense.

You wanna know something else about
Canada? I'm going there, tomorrow.

What?

Taking Miranda to get her
registered as a Canadian.

Hon, I don't think it works that way.
She's not a car.

Technically speaking, she is a citizen of both
countries until she's old enough to choose.

Well, either way,

I want her to breathe
Canadian air...

and dig her little toes
into Canadian soil.

Shelly, it is so far.

I'm only going to Sixtymile, B. C., H.
It's just across the border.

I'm gonna hang out with my
friend Iris and catch Winterfest.

You know what Winterfest is?
But you're gonna tell us, aren't you?

Everybody brings
their old Christmas trees,

they pile them up, take them away,
and make mulch out of them.

Wow. Well.

What's Mardi Gras or Palio
at Siena compared to that?

"Knights in White Satin," man.
All them minor chord progressions.

What about Billie Holiday?

Uh, first lady ofJazz.
Ouch.

Yeah, but Chris,
not all her stuff is gloomy.

Yeah, man, but you know, poor girl
makes good, addicted to heroin,

you know, beat around by mooching men.

It's right there
in the music.

All right.

Hey. Ella Fitzgerald.
Now Chris, she's jazz,

but she's happy jazz.

Happy jazz. Okay.

Hey, what about this?
"Beethoven's Sixth, Pastoral Symphony. "

That's an up elevator, huh?

Bruce Springsteen.
Born in the U. S. of A.

Yeah, Bruce is clean.
Cool.

What about that one lyric, though,
on " I'm on fire"?

You know, about
the knife, edgy and dull.

"Cut a six-inch valley
through the middle of my soul. "

Yeah!

- What are you boy scouts up to?
- Oh, just doing a little reviewing here.

No doubt what we're seeing here
is fallout from the Hankins suicide.

Maybe.

I want you to look at something that was on its
way to the editor of our so-called newspaper.

Where'd you get this? Oh,
questions? Reproachment?

You oughta be happy
I spiked that little missive.

"Gentlemen, I recall a few years ago Chris Stevens
played the song 'Revolution' on the radio...

"while I was driving.

"There's no denying the power of that song. I made
a right turn too fast and side-swiped a fire hydrant.

Before Edgar's death,
I never made the connection. "

- Whoa.
- Yeah. I got a whole stack of'em here sent to the station.

This one lady says that her kid became so
agitated at the sight of paisley after my show...

that he ripped down
all the wallpaper in the living room.

It's typical.
Yeah, it is typical, but...

you know, I've come to realize
the power of this thing.

I can't abuse it.

Holling.

Hi, Walt.

I came here to catch breakfast.
What's your excuse?

Just thinking.

You couldn't find
a warmer place to think?

Shelly's gone.

I don't like sitting
in an empty apartment.

Shelly's never left me
for any length of time.

She's just gone back to Canada
to show off her baby.

No big deal in that.

What if she decides not to
come back? Don't be ridiculous.

Shelly just wants a little
homecoming, that's all.

I think maybe I better just bite the
bullet and give up my American citizenship.

Yeah?
Well, Shelly's...

I mean, she's worked herself
into a state. You know how she is.

She's like a snapping turtle once she
lets something get to her like that.

The longer she sits down there thinking about
it, the more Canadian she's going to get.

You know, this citizenship business
is jive, if you ask me.

The Indians didn't recognize
any difference between borders.

They didn't know from Canada
from Alaska from Mexico.

That's not to say they didn't slaughter
each other like everybody else.

Still, it was some more recent genius...

that came up with drawing those lines...

and making those borders.

I don't know. I think maybe
I'd better go after her.

Aw!

I keep thinking,
once she crosses that border,

she and little Miranda
and gonna belong to Canada.

I can't let that happen, Walt.

Like the motto says,
"I remember. "

Remember what?

"Sauté mushrooms in clarified butter.
See basic clarifying recipe. "

God, I hate this!

Hey, Fleischman.
What's wrong?

Julia Child is what's wrong.
That's what's wrong.

Wh-What the hell
is clarified butter?

Oh, it's where you heat the butter and
then you scrape the scum off the top.

Are you kidding me?

I'm not doing this.
This is absolutely ridiculous.

What, like Walt Kupfer's
gonna come in here and tell me,

"I can't eat that, Joel.
The butter's not clarified"?

Oh, Fleischman,
you haven't set the table yet?

Well, I was hoping that you
were gonna help me with that.

Oh, you haven't vacuumed,
Fleischman.

What is this?
Petrified corn chips?

I'm up to my ears in potatoes and
chicken. What more do you want from me?

Name plates, cut flowers,
linen napkins.

God is in the details,
Fleischman.

Are you just now starting
the main course?

Look, what are you
- I have plenty of time. It only takes an hour to cook.

Oh, no. It takes forever to prepare,
and you've got a million things to do.

- Are you here to help me or not?
- In five hours you've got a dozen people walking through that door.

I'm cooking
as fast as I can.

"Cut a four to five-ounce
chunk of salt pork...

into lardons and blanch them. "
Lardons. Lardons.

I tell you, a peritoneal lavage
is easier than this.

I'm not clarifying the butter, all right?
I'm cooking these babies, scum and all.

Will you tell me if they're-
they smell all right to you.

How are canned mushrooms
supposed to smell?

I don't know. Like... can.

You know,
you should have gotten fresh ones.

That's great.
Thank you very much.

Thanks a lot.
Pleasure, eh.

Here we are, babe.
Home turf.

Shelly!
Iris!

Oh, Shel. Wow, you look great! Thanks.

Oh, let me at that baby!

Iris, I am so psyched to be here.

It's like finally, the hood!

Is that your Wrangler?

It is so tough!

Wrangler? You mean the YJ.
That's what we call it over here.

YJ?
That is so cool.

What's it stand for?
I don't know.

So where's Robbie?
Oh, he's at mum's.

She'll keep Miranda tomorrow while we go to
Winterfest. Oh. I thought I'd take her with me.

It's too rowdy. You know what it's like
at Winterfest. Leave her in the house.

Besides, girl, we need you on our team.
The other side's got a kick-ass goalie.

Oh, yeah. Snowshoe soccer.

Hey, do you need to use
the washroom or anything?

Washroom. Oh, it's so
great to hear that again!

In America it's bathroom
this, bathroom that.

Even a porta-john. What bathroom?
There's no bathtub in there.

I'm cool for now.

Okay. We'll just flake out for a while,

prop the babe up on the chesterfield,
and I'll get us some pop.

Chesterfield.

There's no place
like Canada.

Hi. May I help you?

- Howard Mink?
- Oh. Hi.

I'm Maggie O'Connell.

Come on in.
I'm a little early.

Yeah. No. Fleischman,
it's Professor Mink.

- Hello, Joel.
- Howard.

Hi.
Hi. How are you?

You're here early, huh?
Well, traffic was light.

Oh, why don't I
take your coat?

Yeah. Um, why don't you
make yourself at home.

Can we get you
a beer or something?

Oh.

We don't have any beer.
Remember, Ed's bringing it?

Wine?
Water would be fine.

Okay, why don't you have a seat.
It's nice to see you.

- Should I give him some hors d'oeuvres?
- What hors d'oeuvres?

You didn't make any hors d'oeuvres? No.

Fleischman, why are you even having a
party if you don't want to entertain?

What are you talking about?
You totally bullied me into it.

Oh, please. Here we go
with revisionist history.

I don't understand if you're
gonna help me or not. You keep-

You should have some
hors d'oeuvres for him-

Excuse me.
Yes?

- I think I will have a little wine.
- Okay. Uh...

Here you go.

So what should we give him?

How much of this
have you had?

Would you please
just serve the man?

One sec.

Here you go.

A little cloudy out there today.

Don't let that get you down though.

Every cloud has a silver lining, right?

Not that, you know, silver is
important or anything like that.

I mean, there's more to life
than the buck, right?

We're talking about...

oh, seeing that glass
half full or, uh,

making lemons into lemonade.

A little something from the Four Preps.

So, Professor, do you do
statistical research in Bioethics...

or are you just a lecturer?

Both.

Hmm.

Wow. This is good. I
- I think so. Isn't this good?

Don't you think,
Mayor Hancock?

The salt around anywhere?
Yeah.

Can someone
turn the radio down?

Yeah. Driving me bonkers.

I gotta tell you, Marilyn.

I'm a little disappointed
your parents couldn't come.

I thought they were kinda
looking forward to it, huh?

Square dance class.
It was changed.

Well, maybe you can
take them a doggy bag.

Chris too. He had to
cancel at the eleventh hour.

Well, Chris has been going
through a hard time lately.

Oh. And Holling.
What might his excuse be?

He went to Canada.

Maybe I should just have another party for
all the people that couldn't come tonight.

Maurice with his leg
and Ruth Anne.

Just one of the many challenges
of entertaining, Fleischman.

- Asparagus.
- Oh, I didn't get any asparagus.

Me neither.
- Yeah, um,

They're in the refrigerator.
I kind of forgot to cook 'em.

Well... there's plenty of chicken.

Ed, I- I'll take
a splash more of that wine.

Yeah, the wine
passes muster, does it?

Well, uh, we tend to look
to Australia for, uh, surfing pants,

AC/DC videos
and as a SEATO partner.

Cabernet Sauvignon
we like to leave to civilization.

I like it better than more
Californias. Hit me again.

Oh. Can you pass that bottle?

Empty.

Well, um, how's the chicken?

It's, uh...
it's all right.

Yeah?

Yeah. All right,
as in mediocre.

Try clarifying the butter
next time.

Mornin', sir.

Canada.

I'd know that smell
anywhere.

Passport.
Oh. Right.

And what is the purpose
of your trip?

Well, let's just say
personal business.

Mmm. American, huh?
Me too.

Cherry Hill, New Jersey.

What are you doing up here?
Vietnam.

- Are you a draft dodger?
- I refused to kill for an administration that I didn't elect...

in a show of force that wasn't
sanctioned by the people.

You think was the easy way
out? I've had my punishment.

I've been exiled.

I thought they granted
you fellows amnesty.

- Got married. Had two kids.
- Ha.

You carrying any fruits
or vegetables? Nope.

Transporting any livestock?
Nope.

All right.
Enjoy your stay.

I'm not stayin'.

Hey, Fleischman?

- Shh!
- Hi. Thought I'd come help with the dishes, you know?

Being that they're mine.

Feeling a little tender, huh?

Oh, man. I woke up with
a head full of cement...

and little chicken carcasses
all over my house.

Well, this would have been a lot
easier if you'd done this last night.

Man, what a day.

I gotta tell you. I didn't
get a chance to thank you.

I really appreciate
all you did.

I mean, I couldn't have
done it without you.

That's what friends are for.

You know,
just between you and me,

I feel a little surprised
that nobody called.

Called?
For what?

Called to say thank you, you know.

They had a nice time or, you know,
the food was good. Anything.

Hmm.

Hmm what?

Well, you did use
those canned mushrooms.

Yeah, I used the canned mushrooms,
O'Connell. They were fine.

You don't think the chicken
had a bit of a coppery taste to it?

Come on. Staphylococcus would have
manifested within six hours, all right?

You'd be doubled over right here
vomiting on my floor.

Hey. I didn't say
staphylococcus.

Well, you implied it.

You honestly think I would take
the chance of poisoning my friends?

That's crazy.
It was just a question.

Come in.

Hey. Did you by any chance
run off with my scarf last night?

Your scarf?

You wake me out of my dreams
to ask me about a scarf?

Yeah, I'm sorry. I
- it's sort of red with these little fringes.

No. Must have been
somebody else.

Yeah? How you doing there today?

I feel fine.

I mean, it's lucky for me that you ran
out of that dingo effluent last night.

My mental facilities
are completely clear.

No diarrhea,
nothing like that?

I mean, I'm just checking.
I'm just concerned.

You-You didn't speak to anyone
else from last night, did you?

- Like Ed or Marilyn?
- I've spoken to no one.

All right. All right. I'm sorry. Thanks.

A- And thanks for coming last night.
You were a really excellent guest.

Funny story,
the agoraphobic Green Beret captain.

What's the matter with you,
Fleischman?

What, are you fishing
for compliments?

You trying to do some sort of damage control
over those joke mushrooms you used in your entrée?

Wait a minute. What are you saying? Are you
telling me that you don't think they were fresh?

I mean, I know in your expert opinion that
wouldn't be such an incredible feat, but-

Not only could I tell
they weren't fresh,

but judging from the tin/zinc
admixture,

I could tell you which company
and what plant produced the can.

I'm gonna go with Republic Cans,

uh, plant number four
in Rhinebeck, New York.

I get your point.
Thank you.

You know the level
of the palate that you're dealing with,

and yet you persist in playing
these coy little games.

I was a good guest, Fleischman.

I didn't comment.

Just please tell me, though,
what you think.

Do you think-
I mean-

Is it possible that they were
like a little gone?

Gone? Gone?
Yeah. Yeah.

You know as well as I do,
Fleischman,

that most food toxins
are odorless and tasteless.

If they weren't,
the U. S. Biological Weapons office...

would not have bothered spending $1.5 million
developing lethal cold cuts, would they?

You better hope
they weren't gone.

All right. Well, I mean, I
don't think they are. I just-

Look, the toxicological seminar
is over, all right?

Go play your little scarf scam
on some of your other friends.

All right. All right.
Thank you.

And shut the door!

Thank you.
The door, Fleischman.

Is this a trip or what?
Reminds me of Saskatoon.

It's made in China.

Yeah. Well, but it looks like Canada.

Did you know the Mounties
started in Saskatchewan?

Yeah. So?

I just think that's cool.

I'll grab a few of these puppies. They'd
make ace Christmas presents, wouldn't they?

I guess.

Hello. Hello?

Where's the salesperson?

Behind the counter.

Oh. Excuse me.

Yes?

How much are these?

- What is it?
- Little Mountie dolls.

Price is on it, eh?

Uh... I don't see it.

Then I don't know.

You know, I forgot about that.

No one in Canada ever says,
"May I help you?"

It's like they don't want to
sell you anything.

Well, it's better than America where
they're climbing down your shirt.

Yeah, well...

I'll just come back later
and get these.

Hmm.
What?

I just remember it... bigger.

Ruth Anne, when did it start?

Long about lunchtime.

I tried to get him
to go home,

but being a shaman in training, he
thought he ought to try to heal himself.

I need to lie down.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Look, you get O'Connell. I think
we have to get him to a hospital.

For a stomachache?
Have a seat there.

It could be something
more seriously pathogenic.

I don't want to rule out something
of a toxicological nature either.

Ed, I'm just gonna poke around
for a minute. Just relax.

Does that hurt?

How 'bout that?

A little
when your fingernails dig in.

Sorry. You have any muscle spasms
or dizziness, any double vision-

- Anything like that?
- Uh, well-

- Oh.
- What?

Your glands are swollen.
They are?

- Yeah. You're boiling.
- 102 when I checked earlier.

- Joel.
- He's got the flu.

He's just got a stomach flu.

Well, of course he has.
He always gets it first.

Forty-eight hours of vomiting
and diarrhea and body ache.

That's it, pal.

Acting in my capacity as mayor,
I've called together this town meeting...

because some Cicelians
have expressed concerns...

about the recent changes in the
Chris in the Morning's radio playlist.

Now the radio waves are public.

So it makes sense to listen
to what the public has to say about it.

It sucks!

- Boring.
Can you speak up, please?

- What Chris is playing is boring.
- Hey,

you know, everybody used to look forward to
Chris in the Morning, especially in the winter.

You know, you're lying in bed
and it's freezing and it's dark outside,

and the radio is the only thing that makes you
want to get out of bed and put the coffee on.

Well, try telling that
to Edgar Hankins's family.

Come on. Edgar had a screw loose
long before he got a radio.

Let's cut through this.
Chris should play what he wants to.

If people don't like it,
they can turn it off.

Adults, yeah. But what
about unsupervised children?

The radio is a constant presence in their
lives, and it has a cumulative effect.

They come home late in the afternoon, and what's
he playing- Schoenberg and that other 12-tone stuff.

A lot of Chris's programming
is anti-family.

The Nietzsche, the Thoreau.

And it trivializes animals.

Hold it.
Hold on just a minute.

We have to be careful here.

De Tocqueville warned about
the tyranny of the masses...

dragging everything down
to the lowest common denominator.

We have to accept the fact
that art and culture...

transcend the traditional
rules of the society.

Right.

Listen, Edgar's death is horrible, but there
are a hundred reasons for it, not just one,

and to blame Chris for this
is ridiculous.

- Excuse me.
- Chair recognizes Marilyn Whirlwind.

The radio didn't kill Edgar.
Edgar killed the radio.

Hey, Fleischman.
Hey.

How's Ed? Ah, he's gonna
be fine. He's got the flu.

Poor guy.
He always gets it.

I guess we're moving
out of the danger zone.

I mean, there are a few
rare food poisonings...

that can have an incubation period
for up to three or four days,

but I think
we're gonna be fine.

Are you still obsessing
about this mushroom thing?

Yeah. Well, I tried calling the
professor. His line was busy.

Fleischman.

O'Connell,
for over two hours.

That doesn't make sense, unless the
guy's fallen and he can't get up.

Would you cut it out?

Do you want to know what
this is really about? What?

You don't want to be absolved of
poisoning your guests, Fleischman.

What you're feeling guilty about is
a lot simpler than that. Oh, really?

You threw a lousy party, Fleischman,
and I think you wanna be forgiven.

You know, I don't know
what to tell you. I- I-

I guess I'm just-
I'm not good at that kinda stuff.

And the thing is,
I tried telling you that.

I didn't want to have a party in
the first place. It's so ridiculous.

But you didn't try.
You gave a half-hearted effort.

You know,
your guests pick up on that.

Yeah, well, that's it,
you know? Look, okay.

I'm officially out of the loop. From now on,
I don't go to parties, I don't have parties,

I'm just
- That's the answer, Fleischman. Just be a recluse.

O'Connell, what do you want
from me?

I just want you to stop thinking
about yourself for five minutes.

- This is about me, is it not?
- No. It's about other people, and that's the secret of entertaining.

You make your guests feel welcome
and at home and comfortable.

If you do that honestly, then the
rest of it takes care of itself.

Yeah, well,
it's easy for you to say.

You're like the Martha Stewart
of the Yukon.

I mean, you were born with a
silver napkin ring in your mouth.

I was not.
Yeah, you were.

No, I wasn't- I was taught.
That's the trouble with you, you know.

Nobody taught you how to take care
of yourself, let alone anybody else.

You're a princeling, Fleischman.

And I've got news for you. You're not the
10-year-old son of Nadine Fleischman anymore.

Hey, Shelly. Aren't you gonna
come play snowshoe soccer?

Nah. I don't really feel like it.

Come on, Shel. You came all the
way down here to do Winterfest,

and now you're just like
totally hangdog, eh?

I know. I thought I'd be
more into it. It's weird.

I know it's Canada and all, but...
I don't feel any different.

Game's starting.
I- I gotta go.

Well, I'll see you later.
Okay.

Hey, slow down!

- Shelly!
- Holling?

- Shelly Tambo!
- Holling!

- Shelly?
- Yeah?

This land is your land,

this land is my land,

from California...

to Vancouver Island.

From the Redwood Forest...

♪ To the BlueJays Stadium ♪

Aw, save it pal.

♪ This land was made
for you and me ♪

♪ As I was walking ♪

♪ The Alaska Highway ♪

♪ I saw the tracks of ♪

* The Canadian
National Railway *

* Saw the land behind me *

* That invented hockey *

* This land was made
for you and me *

* This land is my land *

* This land is your land *

* From California *

* To Vancouver Island *

* From the Redwood Forest *

* To the BlueJays Stadium *

* This land was made
for you and me *

Yea!

Morning, Cicelians. Chris in the Morning
getting you up a little earlier than usual.

I got a busy day ahead.
So do you.

So get that coffee on. Whip up that bacon
and knock those cobwebs off the ceiling.

While you're doing all that, what do you
think of the words ofTom Paine who said,

"Man did not enter this society
to be worse off than he was before...

"or to have fewer rights
than he had before...

"but to have those rights
better secured.

When it comes to the right of the
mind, he never surrenders it. "

The mind, that wonderful breeding ground
of contradictory impulses like...

love and hate, and rage, empathy.

They've all been invited to the party,
so you might as well make room for 'em.

I wanna play this next song
for my friend Edgar Hankins who...

has gone to a place where
he's never gonna have to be upset...

or agitated or offended ever again.

Sensitive and P. C. souls,
cover your ears.

Your order,
Dr. Fleischman.

Oh, great.
Thanks, Dave.

Oh, hey.
Are you free this Sunday?

Sunday. Well, I was gonna
watch the Knicks game. Why?

I'm having brunch at my house.
Oh, yeah?

Brunch, huh?
Uh-huh.

A lot of people?
Fifteen or so.

I do it this time of year,
the " in like a lion" brunch.

So
- So you get up early and you make omelets for all these people?

Ah, frittatas.
Belgian Waffles.

Sausage links.
Nice.

So, wanna come?

Well...

yeah, I guess I do.

Good.

Hey, can I bring anything?

No, thanks.

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