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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,380 --> 00:00:07,250 (WOMAN) Hello, I'm calling from Steven Spielberg's office. 2 00:00:07,251 --> 00:00:08,716 I'm looking for the writers 3 00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:11,519 Hugh Davidson, Larry Dorf and Rachel Ramras. 4 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:13,322 Mr. Spielberg is wanting to meet with them 5 00:00:13,323 --> 00:00:16,292 THIS WEDNESDAY AT 4:00 here at Amblin. 6 00:00:16,293 --> 00:00:18,627 It's obviously time sensitive, so it would be great 7 00:00:18,628 --> 00:00:20,229 if you could call me back, thank you. 8 00:00:20,230 --> 00:00:22,010 Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. 9 00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:26,902 Ethan! No... 10 00:00:26,903 --> 00:00:29,004 No, I got this. 11 00:00:29,005 --> 00:00:33,609 (PHONE RINGING) 12 00:00:38,782 --> 00:00:40,717 (GROANS) 13 00:00:40,718 --> 00:00:42,518 Hello? 14 00:00:42,519 --> 00:00:44,352 (BRADLEY) Hugh, it's Bradley from Ethan Flaum's office. 15 00:00:44,353 --> 00:00:46,488 Sorry, force of habit. It's Bradley, your agent. 16 00:00:46,489 --> 00:00:47,922 I have a meeting for you. 17 00:00:47,923 --> 00:00:51,494 It's a very big meeting, this Wednesday at, uh... 18 00:00:51,495 --> 00:00:53,796 Let's see, where did I write down the time? 19 00:00:53,797 --> 00:00:56,098 Uh, it doesn't matter, um, Bradley 20 00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:58,968 because I am in Austin, Texas. 21 00:00:58,969 --> 00:01:01,736 And I'm, uh, retired from the entertainment industry. 22 00:01:01,737 --> 00:01:04,539 What if I told you that the person wanting the meeting 23 00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:07,810 was Steven Spielberg? 24 00:01:07,811 --> 00:01:09,944 Then I would say you're an idiot, Bradley. 25 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,780 'Cause you are an idiot. 26 00:01:11,781 --> 00:01:14,750 And I'm sorry to use the word idiot, but I don't know 27 00:01:14,751 --> 00:01:16,986 another word for you, Bradley. 28 00:01:16,987 --> 00:01:20,254 So, I'm sorry again for using that word. 29 00:01:20,255 --> 00:01:21,824 Don't call me again ever, please. 30 00:01:22,509 --> 00:01:24,763 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 31 00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:29,232 You're coming with us. 32 00:01:31,567 --> 00:01:35,537 And why not you, little boner helper. 33 00:01:35,538 --> 00:01:37,239 (PHONE VIBRATING) 34 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:41,979 Ah, United Way? More like "United Go Away." 35 00:01:43,246 --> 00:01:45,146 (JEN) We're only a half-hour away, so... 36 00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:47,116 don't hesitate to call for any reason. 37 00:01:47,117 --> 00:01:48,217 Okay. 38 00:01:48,218 --> 00:01:50,418 Hon, it's only one night. 39 00:01:50,419 --> 00:01:52,789 I think we unplug and leave our phones at home. 40 00:01:52,790 --> 00:01:55,324 Uh, I can't leave my phone at home, because we have children. 41 00:01:55,325 --> 00:01:57,558 Right, okay, well... 42 00:01:57,559 --> 00:02:00,295 I am gonna leave my phone at home. 43 00:02:00,296 --> 00:02:01,697 For the simple reason 44 00:02:01,698 --> 00:02:03,999 that this is a romantic staycation 45 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,400 with my lovely wife 46 00:02:05,401 --> 00:02:08,004 paid for by the Newberry Cement Company. (CHUCKLING) 47 00:02:08,005 --> 00:02:11,005 Are we good? We're all set? 48 00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:12,642 Let the romance begin, huh? 49 00:02:12,643 --> 00:02:14,676 Should I take my top off? (LAUGHS) 50 00:02:14,677 --> 00:02:17,947 (SINGING) 51 00:02:18,284 --> 00:02:19,384 _ 52 00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:23,951 Yes... okay. 53 00:02:23,952 --> 00:02:26,656 (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) 54 00:02:30,994 --> 00:02:34,529 (CELL PHONE MELODY PLAYS) 55 00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:37,131 Oh, I'm so glad you called. That was so boring. 56 00:02:37,132 --> 00:02:38,267 How was Lois this morning? 57 00:02:38,268 --> 00:02:39,868 Uh, still upset. 58 00:02:39,869 --> 00:02:44,202 She said she wants to sleep over here tonight, just FYI. 59 00:02:44,203 --> 00:02:46,144 Well, maybe I can pick her up from school and we can talk. 60 00:02:46,145 --> 00:02:48,813 Yeah, she'll be fine. How are you? 61 00:02:48,814 --> 00:02:50,281 What do you mean? 62 00:02:50,282 --> 00:02:53,016 Maybe swing by a news stand. 63 00:02:53,017 --> 00:02:54,884 (RACHEL) "Mark-Paul Gosselaar surprised everyone when he arrived 64 00:02:54,885 --> 00:02:58,588 at the Independent Film Awards with this Plain Jane. 65 00:02:58,589 --> 00:03:02,926 Short-statured, middle-aged single mom, Rachel Ramras." 66 00:03:02,927 --> 00:03:04,761 - Rachel, no one reads that stuff. - I read it! 67 00:03:04,762 --> 00:03:07,330 I have a subscription to this! I love this magazine! 68 00:03:07,331 --> 00:03:09,933 If that were written about anyone else I'd be eating it up. 69 00:03:09,934 --> 00:03:12,336 Rachel, you can't listen to that stuff. 70 00:03:12,337 --> 00:03:15,372 "Is Mark-Paul ready to be a stepdad?" It's garbage! 71 00:03:15,373 --> 00:03:16,773 It's the world we live in. 72 00:03:16,774 --> 00:03:19,043 It's not my world! It's your world! 73 00:03:19,044 --> 00:03:22,413 Do you know what comes up when you Google Rachel Ramras? 74 00:03:22,414 --> 00:03:24,182 It used to be nothing. 75 00:03:24,183 --> 00:03:26,384 And now it's every unflattering photo 76 00:03:26,385 --> 00:03:28,320 you could take of a person. 77 00:03:29,788 --> 00:03:31,188 I'm kidding, okay, you know what I'm gonna do? 78 00:03:31,189 --> 00:03:32,422 I'm gonna do you a favor. 79 00:03:32,423 --> 00:03:34,124 I'm going to turn off your phone. 80 00:03:34,125 --> 00:03:35,392 - No... - Yes. 81 00:03:35,393 --> 00:03:37,728 It's just noise. 82 00:03:37,729 --> 00:03:39,296 You gotta block out the noise! 83 00:03:39,297 --> 00:03:42,432 You think a tiger loses sleep over the opinion of sheep? 84 00:03:42,433 --> 00:03:46,636 - You are a tiger. You are. - I am? 85 00:03:46,637 --> 00:03:48,872 (SNARLS, RACHEL LAUGHS) 86 00:03:48,873 --> 00:03:50,807 - Hey, Mark-Paul? Oh, sorry, guys. - Hey. 87 00:03:50,808 --> 00:03:52,408 That's all right. 88 00:03:52,409 --> 00:03:53,576 We're gonna need you to come to stage. 89 00:03:53,577 --> 00:03:55,111 - We're rehearsing scene 12. - Okay, yeah. 90 00:03:55,112 --> 00:03:57,747 Oh, hey, is it okay if I leave work a little early today? 91 00:03:57,748 --> 00:03:59,384 - Of course, do whatever you want. - Okay. 92 00:03:59,385 --> 00:04:02,253 I wanted to take Lois out for a treat and maybe talk. 93 00:04:02,254 --> 00:04:04,555 Is she still mad at me? 94 00:04:04,556 --> 00:04:06,657 No! No-no-no. 95 00:04:06,658 --> 00:04:10,360 Hey, this is Rachel! Sorry I missed you! 96 00:04:10,361 --> 00:04:12,062 Leave me a message! (BEEP) 97 00:04:12,063 --> 00:04:13,930 Hi, Rachel! 98 00:04:13,931 --> 00:04:16,399 I know, you're technically Ethan's client. 99 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,002 And I know you already have a job, 100 00:04:18,003 --> 00:04:21,238 but I have a really big meeting for you, Hugh and Larry. 101 00:04:21,239 --> 00:04:22,740 It's Steven... (BEEP) 102 00:04:22,741 --> 00:04:25,408 If you are satisfied with your message, press one. 103 00:04:25,409 --> 00:04:27,677 To erase and rerecord press two. 104 00:04:27,678 --> 00:04:28,680 (BEEP) Thank you, goodbye. 105 00:04:28,681 --> 00:04:30,881 God dammit! 106 00:04:30,882 --> 00:04:33,350 (DOOR CLOSES, LARRY GASPS) 107 00:04:33,351 --> 00:04:34,718 No way! 108 00:04:34,719 --> 00:04:36,019 Yes way. 109 00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:38,389 Larry, this is too much. 110 00:04:38,390 --> 00:04:40,091 Do you know the last time we stayed in a hotel? 111 00:04:40,092 --> 00:04:43,192 It was three summers ago and our air conditioning broke. 112 00:04:43,193 --> 00:04:46,797 And we had to stay in the Burbank Holiday Inn with Jack and Elliot. 113 00:04:46,798 --> 00:04:49,266 - Yeah. - Tonight... 114 00:04:49,267 --> 00:04:51,369 - My little... - (CHUCKLES) 115 00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:53,937 - Beetle bug. - (CHUCKLING) 116 00:04:53,938 --> 00:04:57,141 Is all about five star experiences. 117 00:04:57,142 --> 00:04:58,875 - (TINKLES THE KEYS) - Ooh! 118 00:04:58,876 --> 00:05:02,112 - A five star room... - (CHUCKLES) 119 00:05:02,113 --> 00:05:05,048 - Five star dinner... - (PLAYS KEYS) 120 00:05:05,049 --> 00:05:09,218 By the way, tonight's five star dinner will be in the room 121 00:05:09,219 --> 00:05:11,822 with butler service. 122 00:05:11,823 --> 00:05:14,959 This will all be followed up with five star lovemaking. 123 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:18,961 (PLAYS DRAMATIC MINOR CHORD) 124 00:05:18,962 --> 00:05:20,831 Buhp-buhp-buhp-buhp! 125 00:05:20,832 --> 00:05:23,466 I think we save it till after dinner. 126 00:05:23,467 --> 00:05:26,403 Build up... anticipation. 127 00:05:26,404 --> 00:05:28,406 It's always better if you wait. 128 00:05:28,407 --> 00:05:29,506 I read that in "Men's Health." 129 00:05:29,507 --> 00:05:31,507 (CHUCKLING) Are you sure? 130 00:05:31,508 --> 00:05:33,810 - You always get too tired after dinner. - Not tonight. 131 00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:36,447 Tonight, I'll be having coffee after dinner. 132 00:05:36,448 --> 00:05:37,682 Ooh... 133 00:05:37,683 --> 00:05:40,483 - Maybe even a little espresso. - Hmm... 134 00:05:40,484 --> 00:05:43,286 So we can... 135 00:05:43,287 --> 00:05:47,023 Larry, please don't do... Don't do that, don't. 136 00:05:47,024 --> 00:05:51,062 ?? 137 00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:04,208 I mean, you gotta be kidding me. 138 00:06:04,209 --> 00:06:08,946 ? I've been in love honey you ? 139 00:06:08,947 --> 00:06:12,548 ? Know it's true ? 140 00:06:12,549 --> 00:06:14,718 ? Whoa since that day ? 141 00:06:14,719 --> 00:06:15,720 ? I first laid ? 142 00:06:15,721 --> 00:06:20,223 ? My eyes on ya ? 143 00:06:20,224 --> 00:06:22,125 ? Love is a crazy game baby... ? 144 00:06:22,126 --> 00:06:23,793 Rachel? 145 00:06:23,794 --> 00:06:25,764 Hugh? 146 00:06:26,964 --> 00:06:29,165 Lizzie... Martinez. 147 00:06:29,166 --> 00:06:32,370 Oh, my... Lizzie! 148 00:06:32,371 --> 00:06:34,038 - Hey! - Hi! 149 00:06:34,039 --> 00:06:37,540 Uh, Marisol, this is my friend Hugh. 150 00:06:37,541 --> 00:06:39,377 - Hi! - He was my boyfriend in sixth grade. 151 00:06:39,378 --> 00:06:40,543 I was. 152 00:06:40,544 --> 00:06:42,413 Uh, I bet I look exactly the same. 153 00:06:42,414 --> 00:06:43,413 You look great. 154 00:06:43,414 --> 00:06:44,413 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 155 00:06:44,414 --> 00:06:45,516 Did you move to Austin? 156 00:06:45,517 --> 00:06:47,584 I... I don't know. 157 00:06:47,585 --> 00:06:48,886 Hey, well, what are you doing here? 158 00:06:48,887 --> 00:06:50,687 I don't know. 159 00:06:50,688 --> 00:06:53,423 I didn't realize I was asking such hard questions. 160 00:06:53,424 --> 00:06:54,891 (CHUCKLING) 161 00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:57,060 Are you married? Do you have kids? 162 00:06:57,061 --> 00:06:58,596 Nope... no. 163 00:06:58,597 --> 00:07:00,764 Okay, we're getting somewhere. 164 00:07:00,765 --> 00:07:02,331 It's so crazy seeing you. 165 00:07:02,332 --> 00:07:04,334 It's been 1,000 years. 166 00:07:04,335 --> 00:07:05,670 - Yeah. - Yeah. 167 00:07:05,671 --> 00:07:07,971 Well, what are you doing tonight? 168 00:07:07,972 --> 00:07:10,574 I was gonna make lasagna, and it's just the two of us... 169 00:07:10,575 --> 00:07:12,408 Um, wow, I, uh... 170 00:07:12,409 --> 00:07:13,442 Why don't I give you my number? 171 00:07:13,443 --> 00:07:14,778 Do you have a phone? 172 00:07:14,779 --> 00:07:17,081 Uh... yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. 173 00:07:17,082 --> 00:07:19,949 - Course I have a phone... - Okay, here. 174 00:07:19,950 --> 00:07:22,184 ? But its been pain now for so damn long ? 175 00:07:22,185 --> 00:07:24,855 - Okay. - Ahh! Got it! 176 00:07:24,856 --> 00:07:26,456 Okay, great! 177 00:07:26,457 --> 00:07:28,891 - Okay. - Okay, yeah, so good seeing you. 178 00:07:28,892 --> 00:07:31,163 Okay, bye. Bye! 179 00:07:33,231 --> 00:07:35,432 ? 'Cause I been so lonely ? 180 00:07:35,433 --> 00:07:36,901 ? Since you gone away ? 181 00:07:36,902 --> 00:07:40,905 ?? 182 00:07:40,906 --> 00:07:44,774 ? Every day is pain ? 183 00:07:44,775 --> 00:07:49,780 ? In the end it's hard to see ? 184 00:07:49,781 --> 00:07:52,749 ? Every fateful day is oh ? 185 00:07:52,750 --> 00:07:55,151 ? So sad... ? 186 00:07:55,152 --> 00:07:57,120 Uh, hey, uh, Lizzie? 187 00:07:57,121 --> 00:07:58,721 Actually, I have moved to Austin 188 00:07:58,722 --> 00:08:00,624 at least for the last two days. 189 00:08:00,625 --> 00:08:02,125 And I would love to have dinner 190 00:08:02,126 --> 00:08:04,394 with you and Marisol tonight. 191 00:08:04,395 --> 00:08:06,396 Text me and I'll send you my info. 192 00:08:06,397 --> 00:08:10,167 Okay, great, will do! Okay, see ya. 193 00:08:10,168 --> 00:08:12,771 ? I need you so bad ?? 194 00:08:16,754 --> 00:08:20,022 Hon, I think you're making too big a deal over Eric's report card. 195 00:08:20,023 --> 00:08:21,490 He's only in the second grade. 196 00:08:21,491 --> 00:08:22,791 (WRITERS LAUGHING) 197 00:08:22,792 --> 00:08:25,994 Oh, really? Did you get a D in second grade? 198 00:08:25,995 --> 00:08:28,531 Maybe D stands for �dynamite�? 199 00:08:28,532 --> 00:08:30,065 (LAUGHING) 200 00:08:30,066 --> 00:08:32,201 Hey, guys, can, uh, can we punch up that last line a little bit? 201 00:08:32,202 --> 00:08:35,271 You can say, "Maybe D stands for 'dy-no-mite!'" 202 00:08:35,272 --> 00:08:37,339 Like J.J. Walker on "Good Times." 203 00:08:37,340 --> 00:08:38,541 And then Jen could give you a look. 204 00:08:38,542 --> 00:08:41,044 And then you can say, "Or dynamite." 205 00:08:41,045 --> 00:08:42,545 (WRITERS LAUGHING) 206 00:08:42,546 --> 00:08:46,648 Uh, Jen asks if you got a D in second grade, and you're, like, 207 00:08:46,649 --> 00:08:50,453 "No, but my dad got a DUI taking me to second grade." 208 00:08:50,454 --> 00:08:52,088 (LAUGHING) I like that. 209 00:08:52,089 --> 00:08:54,223 Or maybe when Jen's, like, "Did you get a D in second grade?" 210 00:08:54,224 --> 00:08:57,492 You're, like, um, "Not the second time." 211 00:08:57,493 --> 00:09:00,162 (LAUGHS) That's funny, that's clean, that's good. 212 00:09:00,163 --> 00:09:02,231 You know, I don't know why I bother pitching. 213 00:09:02,232 --> 00:09:04,333 He's always gonna go with her idea. 214 00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:06,036 Guys, I'm so sorry, I have to run. 215 00:09:06,037 --> 00:09:07,804 I have to pick my daughter up, I'm sorry. 216 00:09:07,805 --> 00:09:11,674 Damn, I wish I was Mark-Paul Gosselaar's girlfriend. 217 00:09:11,675 --> 00:09:15,145 Get all my jokes in, come and go whenever I want. 218 00:09:15,146 --> 00:09:16,945 (MARCUS) Hey, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, I gotta go walk my dog. 219 00:09:16,946 --> 00:09:19,148 But we sleeping together so it's cool. 220 00:09:19,149 --> 00:09:22,050 I'm sorry, are you guys even trying to whisper 221 00:09:22,051 --> 00:09:24,386 'cause I can hear everything you're saying. 222 00:09:24,387 --> 00:09:25,988 I'm not trying to whisper. 223 00:09:25,989 --> 00:09:28,092 Yeah, ain't nobody over here trying to whisper. 224 00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:34,863 Oh... Watch out. 225 00:09:34,864 --> 00:09:37,065 (LAUGHING) 226 00:09:37,066 --> 00:09:38,767 (LIZZIE CHUCKLES) 227 00:09:38,768 --> 00:09:40,837 So, what don't you like about L.A.? 228 00:09:40,838 --> 00:09:43,104 Oh, I like L.A. well enough. 229 00:09:43,105 --> 00:09:44,507 I think what I don't like 230 00:09:44,508 --> 00:09:47,709 is being old and unsuccessful in L.A. 231 00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:51,012 I think I would rather be old and unsuccessful in Texas. 232 00:09:51,013 --> 00:09:54,584 - "Old and unsuccessful in Texas?" - Mm-hmm. 233 00:09:54,585 --> 00:09:57,185 That should be your profile on your dating app. 234 00:09:57,186 --> 00:09:58,787 I don't know that I'm there yet. 235 00:09:58,788 --> 00:10:00,122 A-ha. 236 00:10:00,123 --> 00:10:01,757 So you're getting over a broken heart. 237 00:10:01,758 --> 00:10:03,791 Ah, lemme guess. 238 00:10:03,792 --> 00:10:07,128 A tall, blonde, model. 239 00:10:07,129 --> 00:10:11,300 Actually, a short, brunette, writer. 240 00:10:11,301 --> 00:10:13,136 Hmm. Anyway, let us 241 00:10:13,137 --> 00:10:14,770 talk about you, uh... 242 00:10:14,771 --> 00:10:17,106 Last I remember you were a reporter 243 00:10:17,107 --> 00:10:18,940 for the school newspaper. So, I assume by now, 244 00:10:18,941 --> 00:10:21,744 you've been made editor-in-chief. 245 00:10:21,745 --> 00:10:24,045 I'm a jewelry designer, mm-hmm. 246 00:10:24,046 --> 00:10:25,614 Oh, wow! 247 00:10:25,615 --> 00:10:27,382 You gotta make me one of those. 248 00:10:27,383 --> 00:10:30,051 I'll make you one if you tell me more about this woman. 249 00:10:30,052 --> 00:10:31,353 Why doesn't she love you? 250 00:10:31,354 --> 00:10:32,722 Everyone loves Hugh. 251 00:10:32,723 --> 00:10:34,656 (MARISOL) Mom, I'm starving! 252 00:10:34,657 --> 00:10:36,392 You don't feed her? 253 00:10:36,393 --> 00:10:39,563 Lizzie! Stop making jewelry for five seconds and feed your daughter. 254 00:10:43,233 --> 00:10:44,334 Is it yummy? 255 00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:50,506 You know, I bet if you wanted to sneak a little more they won't notice. 256 00:10:50,507 --> 00:10:52,108 You want me to steal? 257 00:10:53,976 --> 00:10:55,511 (CLEARS THROAT) 258 00:10:55,512 --> 00:10:58,481 So... how's Miss Lois? 259 00:10:58,482 --> 00:10:59,982 I don't like Mark-Paul, Mom. 260 00:10:59,983 --> 00:11:01,916 And you shouldn't be bribing me with food. 261 00:11:01,917 --> 00:11:03,919 I'm not bribing you with food. 262 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,589 I just thought you deserved a little treat. 263 00:11:06,590 --> 00:11:09,258 Shouldn't I go home so I can get my homework done? 264 00:11:09,259 --> 00:11:12,095 No, you're in third grade. Your homework doesn't matter. 265 00:11:14,631 --> 00:11:17,833 Honey, I'm on your side. Okay? I am. 266 00:11:17,834 --> 00:11:20,103 I know how much that must have hurt your feelings 267 00:11:20,104 --> 00:11:21,536 when Mark-Paul didn't thank you. 268 00:11:21,537 --> 00:11:24,507 And I'm not making excuses for him, okay, I'm not. 269 00:11:24,508 --> 00:11:26,943 It's just... he's new to this and... 270 00:11:26,944 --> 00:11:29,113 And I'll never like him, ever. 271 00:11:30,947 --> 00:11:33,248 Babe, what is it about Mark-Paul that you don't like 272 00:11:33,249 --> 00:11:35,050 besides what happened the other night? 273 00:11:35,051 --> 00:11:37,954 He's not as good as Hugh. 274 00:11:40,023 --> 00:11:41,925 (CELL PHONE PLAYS) 275 00:11:44,460 --> 00:11:46,095 (MUSIC STOPS) 276 00:11:47,297 --> 00:11:50,935 All, right, Bradley, it's time for Plan B. 277 00:11:52,335 --> 00:11:55,672 I have no idea what Plan B is. 278 00:11:58,646 --> 00:12:01,146 For appetizer course, 279 00:12:01,147 --> 00:12:03,282 crab deviled eggs 280 00:12:03,283 --> 00:12:04,683 and the oysters on the half shell. 281 00:12:04,684 --> 00:12:06,019 (LAUGHS) I don't need both. 282 00:12:06,020 --> 00:12:08,420 Oh, we need both. (CHUCKLING) 283 00:12:08,421 --> 00:12:10,722 Moving into the mains... 284 00:12:10,723 --> 00:12:12,991 We'll do the Fiorentina dry aged 285 00:12:12,992 --> 00:12:15,160 40-ounce Porterhouse for two. 286 00:12:15,161 --> 00:12:16,961 (CHUCKLES) 287 00:12:16,962 --> 00:12:17,963 You get three sides... 288 00:12:17,964 --> 00:12:18,963 No, I don't need any sides. 289 00:12:18,964 --> 00:12:21,433 What is Funghi Misti? 290 00:12:21,434 --> 00:12:23,269 You know what, just bring it. 291 00:12:23,270 --> 00:12:24,269 I don't care what it is. 292 00:12:24,270 --> 00:12:25,771 (CHUCKLING) 293 00:12:25,772 --> 00:12:28,808 Let's also get into the creamed spinach. 294 00:12:28,809 --> 00:12:31,177 And the creamy polenta. 295 00:12:31,178 --> 00:12:32,644 That's a lot of cream. 296 00:12:32,645 --> 00:12:34,081 The more cream the better. 297 00:12:35,649 --> 00:12:39,918 Now let's talk liquor. Oh. 298 00:12:39,919 --> 00:12:43,021 We're gonna do a bottle of this guy right down there. 299 00:12:43,022 --> 00:12:45,490 Larry, that's a $250 bottle. 300 00:12:45,491 --> 00:12:46,625 You're not worth it? 301 00:12:46,626 --> 00:12:47,793 She thinks she's not worth it. 302 00:12:47,794 --> 00:12:49,528 This is my wife, my beautiful wife. 303 00:12:49,529 --> 00:12:52,264 I'm gonna make love to her tonight. Larry! 304 00:12:52,265 --> 00:12:54,967 We're definitely gonna need a volcano cake. 305 00:12:54,968 --> 00:12:58,271 Chocolate's an aphrodisiac. I read that in "Men's Health." 306 00:13:00,173 --> 00:13:03,042 She still wants to sleep at Michael and Ethan's. 307 00:13:03,043 --> 00:13:05,678 Huh, well, if we don't have Lois 308 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:07,013 then we should go to dinner. 309 00:13:07,014 --> 00:13:08,713 I wanna hit that new sushi spot in Los Feliz. 310 00:13:08,714 --> 00:13:11,283 I'm not going to dinner. 311 00:13:11,284 --> 00:13:13,952 We need to talk. Uh-the magazine? 312 00:13:13,953 --> 00:13:15,888 Come on, you really ought to let that stuff go. 313 00:13:15,889 --> 00:13:18,290 I don't care about the magazine. 314 00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:20,125 It's about Lois. 315 00:13:20,126 --> 00:13:21,693 I'm sorry I didn't say thank you to her. 316 00:13:21,694 --> 00:13:23,663 I feel awful, I do. 317 00:13:23,664 --> 00:13:25,798 I tried to apologize. She wouldn't let me. 318 00:13:25,799 --> 00:13:27,533 No, it's more than that. 319 00:13:27,534 --> 00:13:28,634 She doesn't like me. 320 00:13:30,004 --> 00:13:33,072 Um... I would love for you to disagree with that. 321 00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:34,340 I can't, she doesn't like you. 322 00:13:34,341 --> 00:13:35,908 Oh, my God. 323 00:13:35,909 --> 00:13:38,476 What more am I supposed to do? 324 00:13:38,477 --> 00:13:40,380 Do I need to buy her a pony? 325 00:13:40,381 --> 00:13:42,181 Should I put a jumpy castle in the back yard? 326 00:13:42,182 --> 00:13:43,216 No! 327 00:13:43,217 --> 00:13:45,384 Then what do I need to do?! 328 00:13:45,385 --> 00:13:47,888 You don't need to do anything, okay? I do! 329 00:13:53,492 --> 00:13:56,764 God, I wish there was wine in this house. 330 00:14:01,267 --> 00:14:03,670 I've had a crush on you since the eighth grade. 331 00:14:05,438 --> 00:14:08,540 I had a poster of you in my bedroom. 332 00:14:08,541 --> 00:14:11,811 And now I live with you, in this fairy tale 333 00:14:11,812 --> 00:14:14,880 where I finally get to be the princess. 334 00:14:14,881 --> 00:14:18,750 But the thing is, I already have a princess. 335 00:14:18,751 --> 00:14:21,221 And she's asleep right now at her dad's 336 00:14:21,222 --> 00:14:23,088 'cause she doesn't want to be here. 337 00:14:23,089 --> 00:14:25,957 Do you want to be here? 338 00:14:25,958 --> 00:14:29,062 Not without her. 339 00:14:31,097 --> 00:14:33,032 (STOMACH GURGLING) 340 00:14:33,033 --> 00:14:35,734 (JEN) I'll be out in a minute. 341 00:14:35,735 --> 00:14:38,770 Excellent! 342 00:14:38,771 --> 00:14:41,372 What's the lighting situation like out there? 343 00:14:41,373 --> 00:14:43,742 Oh, let me get that going. 344 00:14:43,743 --> 00:14:45,378 (CHUCKLING) 345 00:14:47,481 --> 00:14:49,216 Oh! (FLATULENCE) 346 00:14:52,052 --> 00:14:54,088 (FLATULENCE) 347 00:15:02,129 --> 00:15:03,731 (FLATULENCE) 348 00:15:05,298 --> 00:15:08,299 So, what do you want? 349 00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:09,903 Why does every woman ask me that? 350 00:15:09,904 --> 00:15:11,484 Why do you find it so hard to answer? 351 00:15:12,939 --> 00:15:15,407 Okay, uh... 352 00:15:15,408 --> 00:15:17,174 I wanna be a writer. 353 00:15:17,175 --> 00:15:19,745 And I want to Rachel. 354 00:15:19,746 --> 00:15:21,746 And it doesn't look like 355 00:15:21,747 --> 00:15:24,015 I'm gonna get either of those two things. 356 00:15:24,016 --> 00:15:27,586 So, in the words of the Rolling Stones, 357 00:15:27,587 --> 00:15:29,423 "You can't always get what you want." 358 00:15:30,756 --> 00:15:33,359 I don't want to sound like one of those "you're exactly 359 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:37,429 where you're supposed to be" people but... I believe it. 360 00:15:37,430 --> 00:15:39,365 And then I think the universe or whatever 361 00:15:39,366 --> 00:15:42,100 you want to call it, puts little signs out. 362 00:15:42,101 --> 00:15:44,970 Some big, some small. 363 00:15:44,971 --> 00:15:48,841 Some hard to see... 364 00:15:48,842 --> 00:15:50,977 Some right in front of you. 365 00:15:53,980 --> 00:15:55,716 Just keep your eyes open. 366 00:15:57,482 --> 00:16:00,019 (MARISOL) Mom? 367 00:16:00,020 --> 00:16:02,990 Ahh, now your eyes are supposed to be shut. 368 00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:07,659 Come on, baby, back to bed. 369 00:16:07,660 --> 00:16:10,329 'Night, Marisol! 'Night! 370 00:16:16,002 --> 00:16:19,173 "Cooper, at his home in Phoenix." 371 00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:26,013 Rachel's from Phoenix. 372 00:16:28,881 --> 00:16:31,584 This is Rachel's mom's painting. 373 00:16:34,487 --> 00:16:36,721 Uh, Lizzie? 374 00:16:36,722 --> 00:16:38,023 What's going on? 375 00:16:38,024 --> 00:16:40,525 May I borrow this book? 376 00:16:40,526 --> 00:16:42,527 Sure, why? 377 00:16:42,528 --> 00:16:45,997 I just got a huge sign... 378 00:16:45,998 --> 00:16:48,601 from Alice Cooper. 379 00:16:48,602 --> 00:16:51,135 Hey, honey? 380 00:16:51,136 --> 00:16:53,105 Do you think you're gonna be out of the bathroom soon? 381 00:16:53,106 --> 00:16:54,774 Just one more minute. 382 00:16:54,775 --> 00:16:56,042 (PLAYFUL LAUGH) 383 00:16:56,043 --> 00:16:57,609 Okay, if you can hurry up, that'd be great. 384 00:16:57,610 --> 00:17:00,513 Ooh, somebody's a little frisky. 385 00:17:00,514 --> 00:17:03,114 (CHUCKLING) 386 00:17:03,115 --> 00:17:05,450 (SPLAT) Oh! 387 00:17:05,451 --> 00:17:06,953 (WHIMPERING) 388 00:17:08,755 --> 00:17:11,591 Oh, God. 389 00:17:11,592 --> 00:17:13,524 Hello, Mr. Dorf. 390 00:17:13,525 --> 00:17:15,561 I'm ready to be Dorfed 391 00:17:15,562 --> 00:17:18,630 with that big "dorf" of yours. 392 00:17:18,631 --> 00:17:20,432 Wait! What? 393 00:17:20,433 --> 00:17:22,234 Don't come in here. Larry! 394 00:17:22,235 --> 00:17:24,136 Something happened. What is it? 395 00:17:24,137 --> 00:17:25,638 It's the worst thing in the world. 396 00:17:25,639 --> 00:17:27,139 And it's gonna happen again! 397 00:17:27,140 --> 00:17:28,873 What are you talking about? 398 00:17:28,874 --> 00:17:30,042 Ohh! (FLATULENCE) 399 00:17:30,043 --> 00:17:31,310 Ooh! 400 00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:33,978 (FLATULENCE CONTINUES) Ooh! 401 00:17:33,979 --> 00:17:37,049 Oh! (LARRY STRAINING) 402 00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:38,519 I don't know what to do! 403 00:17:41,554 --> 00:17:42,654 (SLURPING) 404 00:17:44,257 --> 00:17:47,092 Morning. (DOOR OPENS) 405 00:17:47,093 --> 00:17:50,863 Well, I dropped Lois off at school 406 00:17:50,864 --> 00:17:53,566 so my day's done. 407 00:17:53,567 --> 00:17:54,700 Um... (SIGHS) 408 00:17:54,701 --> 00:17:56,570 Did Rachel spend the night here? 409 00:17:56,571 --> 00:17:57,903 It's a long story. 410 00:17:57,904 --> 00:18:00,340 Well, I hope it doesn't end with her moving back in. 411 00:18:01,542 --> 00:18:04,009 Good morning. Hey. 412 00:18:04,010 --> 00:18:05,110 Hi. Hi. 413 00:18:12,387 --> 00:18:15,255 (MOUTHING QUIETLY) Michael. 414 00:18:15,256 --> 00:18:17,025 (MOUTHING) Michael. 415 00:18:20,294 --> 00:18:24,531 (MOUTHING/GESTURING) Did Rachel and Mark-Paul break up? 416 00:18:24,532 --> 00:18:25,531 (SILENTLY) 417 00:18:25,532 --> 00:18:26,799 Oh, oh, my God. 418 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:30,270 Rachel, did you and Mark-Paul break up? 419 00:18:30,271 --> 00:18:33,573 Um... I don't know. 420 00:18:33,574 --> 00:18:38,177 Oh, um, so, are you thinking about moving out of his place? 421 00:18:38,178 --> 00:18:39,344 I don't know. 422 00:18:39,345 --> 00:18:41,680 Because I would be more than happy 423 00:18:41,681 --> 00:18:44,884 to pay first and last month's rent and security deposit 424 00:18:44,885 --> 00:18:48,889 for any place that you wanna move into that just isn't here. 425 00:18:52,227 --> 00:18:53,826 Have you spoken to him yet this morning? 426 00:18:53,827 --> 00:18:56,830 - He texted me. - Yeah? 427 00:18:56,831 --> 00:19:01,100 - "Maybe we drive sep this morning." - Hmm. 428 00:19:01,101 --> 00:19:02,835 I think I hurt his feelings last night. 429 00:19:02,836 --> 00:19:04,337 I mean, I know I did. 430 00:19:04,338 --> 00:19:06,840 Called him a narcissist. 431 00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:08,507 And an asshole. 432 00:19:08,508 --> 00:19:10,843 Okay. But you know what he said? 433 00:19:10,844 --> 00:19:12,411 He said, "I can't believe you're leaving 434 00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:15,482 all because I forgot to thank a six-year-old girl." 435 00:19:15,483 --> 00:19:16,949 Six?! Six! 436 00:19:16,950 --> 00:19:19,518 I mean, he doesn't even know how old she is! 437 00:19:19,519 --> 00:19:21,620 I mean, I get it! I have baggage, but... 438 00:19:21,621 --> 00:19:23,156 Oh, yeah, uh, tons. 439 00:19:23,157 --> 00:19:25,190 Hey, we both have baggage. 440 00:19:25,191 --> 00:19:28,261 And that baggage is an eight-year-old girl named Lois 441 00:19:28,262 --> 00:19:30,831 who is a beautiful, smart, funny, 442 00:19:30,832 --> 00:19:33,833 one-of-a-kind Hermes Birkin Bag. 443 00:19:33,834 --> 00:19:36,535 And the type of person who doesn't appreciate a Birkin 444 00:19:36,536 --> 00:19:39,872 can march their trashy ass down to the outlet malls. 445 00:19:39,873 --> 00:19:41,541 Because in this family, you want in? 446 00:19:41,542 --> 00:19:43,276 Well, we're strictly Bergdorf's, 447 00:19:43,277 --> 00:19:45,311 Barney's and Bendel's, bitches! 448 00:19:45,312 --> 00:19:48,514 Whoo! I have worked myself up. 449 00:19:48,515 --> 00:19:50,135 My day's not over. I'm going shopping. 450 00:19:52,987 --> 00:19:54,388 Hmm. 451 00:19:57,992 --> 00:20:01,060 What? 99 out of 100 people 452 00:20:01,061 --> 00:20:03,298 thought this bitch wore it better? 453 00:20:07,467 --> 00:20:10,870 So, is that the five star experience you were looking for? 454 00:20:10,871 --> 00:20:12,871 Fortunately, as the mother of twins, 455 00:20:12,872 --> 00:20:15,841 I'm used to loved ones being covered in poop. 456 00:20:15,842 --> 00:20:17,576 And I love you. Hmm... 457 00:20:17,577 --> 00:20:19,145 I love our five star life. 458 00:20:19,146 --> 00:20:20,746 Aww... 459 00:20:20,747 --> 00:20:22,748 Mmm... mwah. 460 00:20:22,749 --> 00:20:24,351 Bradley? Larry! 461 00:20:24,352 --> 00:20:26,285 You are never gonna guess who's a giant fan 462 00:20:26,286 --> 00:20:29,488 of you, Hugh and Rachel and wants to meet today at 4:00 p.m. 463 00:20:29,489 --> 00:20:31,024 Steven Spielberg! 464 00:20:31,025 --> 00:20:33,528 The director of "Star Wars?" 465 00:20:36,730 --> 00:20:40,099 (PHONE RINGING) 466 00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,833 Hey. 467 00:20:41,834 --> 00:20:43,136 Please tell me you're not still in Texas. 468 00:20:43,137 --> 00:20:44,638 Not for long. 469 00:20:44,639 --> 00:20:47,939 I have just boarded an airplane. Great, this can work. 470 00:20:47,940 --> 00:20:51,244 We've a meeting today at 4:00 with Steven Spielberg. 471 00:20:51,245 --> 00:20:53,780 Larry, there's no Steven Spielberg meeting. 472 00:20:53,781 --> 00:20:55,114 Bradley's an idiot and you're an idiot. 473 00:20:55,115 --> 00:20:56,349 I know what this is. 474 00:20:56,350 --> 00:20:58,685 You're still traumatized from the nightmare 475 00:20:58,686 --> 00:21:00,454 of working in this terrible industry 476 00:21:00,455 --> 00:21:03,023 with monsters like Melissa McCarthy. 477 00:21:03,024 --> 00:21:06,258 Well, this is not a nightmare. This is a dream! 478 00:21:06,259 --> 00:21:09,062 Well, I hate to break it to you but I'm on my way to Phoenix. 479 00:21:09,063 --> 00:21:10,563 Why are you going to Phoenix?! 480 00:21:10,564 --> 00:21:12,366 I'm going to see Alice Cooper. 481 00:21:12,367 --> 00:21:13,735 What?! 482 00:21:14,711 --> 00:21:20,483 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 483 00:21:21,178 --> 00:21:23,808 ?? 484 00:21:23,858 --> 00:21:28,408 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34752

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