Original subtitles

MOSTOLES NEW YEAR'S EVE, 1985

This was bound to happen sooner or later.

It's what you get for marrying an old man.

Manolo was pissed about spending New Year's alone.

There will be plenty more.

He should have had dinner with my Juan.

My Luis is with him.

- Did you tell me that? - Of course I did.

You told me. Twice.

How can I still confuse you after all these years?

Cavities are at war with your teeth every day.

Dad?

Are you okay?

Encarna!

Get the door!

Hi, sweetie!

Hi, gorgeous.

The bells are ringing.

Announcing...

that the baby has been born, the baby has been born,

and they're celebrating.

THE MOSTOLES SUPREMES

The bells are ringing...

Good evening to everyone out there.

- Hello? - Encarna?

Yes, "Encarna at Night."

- Hello? - Yes.

- I hear you loud and clear. - Can you hear me?

The bells are ringing.

Stop singing already! Martes y Trece is on!

Encarna?

Encarna, like you!

...speak to everyone

on "Encarna at Night." Ask Encarna.

Can I please talk to Encarna at Night?

You're on the air with "Encarna at Night."

- Encarna? - Yes!

Listen, honey. I'm calling because

I was frying some empanadillas

for my two boys serving here in Mostoles.

So I thought, I'll call Encarna

so I won't miss her program because I really like it.

So I thought, I'll call Encarna.

Amancio? Amancio... Amancio!

Okay, look.

That's why I called you.

Empanadillas for everyone.

- Can you hear me? - Yes!

Encarna?

- "Encarna at Night." - Listen, honey.

I was frying my boys serving empanadillas in Mostoles...

Encarna?

Encarna!

Encarna! Where are you going in such a hurry?

Madrid. To run an errand.

Three for 5 euros.

IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

- Hi, Carola. - How are you?

Fine, as usual.

- Come in any time. - Bye.

Hey!

What did that dog do to you?

Clown!

HOW TO WRITE A SCREENPLAY IN 7 STEPS

You with the glasses! I know your mother!

- You want a dog? - No.

- Maybe for 40 bucks. - Yeah?

What's his name?

- Your resume is weak. - Weak?

I've been working non-stop since I was 17.

But not in Customer Service.

I think selling mattresses at age 17 is Customer Service.

- Do you know the brand? - What brand?

"Spain Mattresses."

From the Spain chain. You've never heard of it?

No.

It's totally famous.

We have stores in Leganés, Pinto, Alcorcón...

Everywhere.

Mine in Mostoles sells the most.

People prefer us to the huge mega stores

for personal treatment,

more human, less formal.

And if you can't adjust to your mattress,

we'll exchange it, no problem. And you know what?

We're leaders in rest and comfort.

I see you're good at what you do.

Since I was 17, it figures.

- That's why I want to change. - I understand.

Encarna from... Mostoles.

That's funny, right?

- What's funny? - Your name is Encarna and...

Have you got a car?

Hi, this is Ginés.

- Leave me a message. - Leave me a message.

- After the beep. - After the beep.

Thank you.

You're not answering, where are you?

I didn't get the job.

It was some bullshit and I need a car.

So what do I do?

Should I buy one? A cheap one?

Anyway, it doesn't matter.

Call me back.

SPAIN MATTRESSES

I'm good, I'm good.

Watch out, watch out.

Sorry.

You might as well have stayed home.

Thanks, Paquitín.

I can't lift heavy things with my hernia.

Hold this, handsome.

Where did you come from? Hi, there!

All set.

Hi, this is Ginés...

We don't exchange pillows. They're like underwear.

Have you ever exchanged panties before?

Where?

Aurori, sweetie. I have an errand to run.

Hold on. You're leaving me hanging again?

- And your coffee? - Drink it for me.

Take that mutt with you. Mutt, get out of there!

He's a fleabag. My whole body already itches.

Can you take him?

No way, my mom would kill me.

What happened, Ginés? I've been calling you for hours!

Always keep your phone with you!

Don't be angry. I don't know where I put it.

- His sugar dropped. - For the umpteenth time.

He's better now. Right, Ginés?

A quick shot and he's fine. Just a scare.

Lucky I came out for butane and saw him.

He was lying on the floor.

- Skipped breakfast? - Are you his granddaughter?

She might as well be.

She's always here. I live next door.

Who is that?

Jesusa, ma'am. Do you want him?

He's a sweetheart.

No way! What an eyesore!

The fridge is empty. You have to follow your diet.

I'll go buy you some food.

The damn thing is hungry.

Thank you.

What are you doing here?

Shopping.

- And you? - The same as you.

Shouldn't you be in the store?

Aurori can handle it.

Where did you run off to this morning?

- You didn't even say goodbye. - I had things to do.

"Things." You never tell me anything.

Who are all those vegetables for? For me?

She read about some chard diet and she wants to try it, that's all.

Why would Aurori go on a diet?

She has a beautiful figure.

I don't know, ask her. You're such a pain...

Hurry up!

Where are you going?

Run, silly! We can make it!

Mom!

Never again!

Why do you have to turn into a kamikaze

every time we cross the street?

Did it hit me? There you go!

Encarna!

Encarna, do you remember me?

Do you remember? It's me!

María Dolores.

I can't believe it!

You look exactly the same.

Not you. You've changed a lot.

- For the better. - I know, I know.

Brigi, it's great to see you.

- What happened? - My mother.

We're going to bury her.

My condolences.

Thanks, but I'm okay. Come with us.

Well... I don't know.

It's fine, come on.

We have to catch up. I'll bring her back later.

You look the same!

Hi, Elena. My condolences.

Don't think I'm crazy or insensitive.

I just got unhooked from the whole scene a while ago.

I've cried enough in my lifetime.

One way to look at it.

I lived in Phoenix, Arizona for five years.

But the company I work for transferred me here.

I work in the business world.

With high potential for expansion. Are you working?

Yeah, sure. Same job.

Still?

You couldn't drag me away.

How about boyfriends?

The same.

Happy and in love.

My life hasn't changed much.

You're still with...?

But Encarna...!

I understand you having a fling with our history teacher in high school,

but you're still with him?

He must be a hundred years old!

- He's the love of my life. - He must be.

María Dolores? Your friend?

I swear.

Last we heard someone saw her robbing a gas station in Pinto.

- Did she ask you for money? - No.

You should have seen her, she looks amazing.

She says she's unhooked from the scene.

And from the other stuff too? She was a total fiend.

Hanging around the pool junkies above the supermarket.

They're all dead.

She's really changed, I can't explain it.

I said 5 minutes! This isn't a playground!

Come on, Flea...

Flea? Now I'm really mad!

Hey!

Listen to Aurori or she won't let you play.

Go on, get out!

Here's scene 83. And don't skip anything.

Each page equals one minute of screen time.

And we have 567 pages.

How many hours is that? It's monstrous.

You leave too much blank space!

The mayor of Mostoles should write the uprising edict much sooner.

It's our plot point leading into the second act.

Our what? I should have never given you

that manual.

Hey.

How about we lie down for a little while?

Now?

I just sat down.

If you're not in the mood...

Shut up and take off your shirt.

You need to find a boy your age.

Yeah, and you need to find a girl your age.

You have amazing hands, Encarna. Higher...

Higher.

SUPREMES

How gross!

What a disgrace!

Seen here, the popular Mostoles Supremes

have moved on from the style that made them famous,

breaking out with a whole new image.

You might remember that their song "You're sick"

nearly landed Vicky, Luisi and Susi

a trip to Eurovision.

But no such luck.

Now they're finally putting that failure behind them

by going international. They're presenting their new CD

at the next...

What's up?

- Where are you? - With Mr. Ginés.

Helping him with his script.

Why do I even ask? You spend more time with that old man than with your mother.

Where you should be.

- What do you want? - Your aunts!

They were just on TV

looking like whores! Cheap ones!

Mom, I can't talk right now.

I can feel a huge

depression coming on! Do you even care?

I've got to go, okay? Bye.

What a pain...!

Please, calm down.

Do I sound upset?

Who is this?

It's me, don't you know my voice? Listen.

I have something you might be interested in.

- I can't tell you over the phone. - Excuse me?

I have to go. Meet me tomorrow at the Mostoles City at 5.

Please, you have to come.

Don't get too close!

It's his fault, his legs are too long.

- Slow down, damn it! - I shouldn't have let you come.

We're selling the apartment, Elena.

The sooner the better.

Memories? We keep our memories in our hearts.

Goodbye!

Thanks for coming.

No problem.

- Everything okay? - Not okay, great.

I'd rather stay here because

the energy at my mom's is still too dense.

No wonder. I guess that's normal.

Look, Encarna. The other day I was very worried about you.

I think you're stuck in a stage of your life

and I want to help you.

You think so?

It's no coincidence

that you and I ran into each other the other day.

What do you desire most?

What do I desire most?

I don't know.

Health. For me

and my loved ones.

Besides that.

For the crisis to be over. I don't know.

I mean for you. Dare to be selfish.

Something material.

A car. I would buy myself one.

I need one.

I'm looking for ambitious people

to join an exciting new business opportunity.

It'll be huge globally, totally unique.

I'm talking about a lot of money

in a short time. Financial freedom for life.

I like you.

We were very good friends.

Yeah, since karate.

Karate!

I'd like to hear your opinion

after you watch this DVD.

Isn't that your cousin Flea?

Don't call her that, she gets mad.

- You pushed me. - I had my back to you.

- Somebody did. - Aurori, are you okay?

Do you remember me? What a coincidence!

No, this place has the best gin and tonics in Mostoles.

The best. We love coming here.

Is this your boyfriend? Nice to meet you.

The universe is mental.

Whatever we project in our mind eventually happens to us.

It's magic. You attract what you think about.

That's why I'm so unhappy. Because I'm always

so negative.

Exactamundo!

I wanted to find the perfect man.

So I described him in detail to the universe

and the universe gave him to me.

A boyfriend a la carte. How lucky.

Marcus is wonderful.

Filthy rich, vineyards in Italy, his own jet...

So it's like a supernatural power we all have,

- we just don't know it. - Exactly.

First you have to reeducate your unconscious mind.

How?

By changing your name, for example.

You shouldn't settle for the one you were given.

It's a burden we carry around with us our whole life.

What does my name say?

What does María mean?

The Virgin Mary. She never gets laid.

And Dolores,

which means "pain" in Spanish.

Well, I've suffered enough.

My life changed the day I changed my name.

Now I demand that people call me Felicity,

because felicity means happiness

and that's what I want for myself.

Shakira and Danny DeVito are the same height.

I bet you didn't know that!

Tempting, isn't it?

Have you ever wondered why

money, success and a comfortable lifestyle

come so easily to some people,

while others endure a vicious circle of scarcity,

frustration and unhappiness?

Which side are you on?

Hi, I'm Victoria Abril.

I'm sure you've seen me in movies and on television.

But I'm not here to talk about my career or myself.

I'm here to explain an innovative plan

which will allow you to make money

from home with minimal effort.

Hey, that's...

She's really good.

Victoria Abril, she just said it.

But I must warn you

that you're about to receive information

that will change your life and you must be prepared.

So before we go on,

please take a moment to think about it.

Turn it off, this is too creepy.

Then go in the kitchen.

Are you sure?

Completely.

Suit yourself.

Okay, you're still there.

Then there's no turning back.

This is the Saguarum Matasalerum,

a breed of cactus that can live for more than 400 years.

What's the secret of its longevity?

Our laboratories in Pasadena

have discovered that the secret is in its flower.

A biological treasure

with miraculous anti-oxidant properties.

We use the berries

from its fruit to make a wide variety of exclusive products

that not only slow down aging,

but actually reverse the process and make you younger every day.

It's revolutionary.

I knew I would see this before I died.

Free transactions...

Think of the advances yet to come!

Multi-level marketing.

Democratic entrepreneurship.

From the moment you say "yes" you're already making money.

It's unprecedented.

How nice of María Dolores to include you in this.

What a sweetheart.

Her name isn't María Dolores anymore.

It's Felicity now.

You have to be open to new business models.

If you think about it,

we're actually revisiting some of Marx's theories.

There's no boss, everybody gains...

Well, I have great intuition.

And I don't know why, but I think it might work.

Mutt, don't eat so fast! You'll get sick!

Don't call him mutt. He needs a name.

Something positive.

"True Grit."

That's his name.

It's a scam.

But Victoria Abril's promoting it.

So what? Ricardina's sister-in-law,

the one with a hair salon on Camino de Humanes,

her husband worked plaster and became a truck driver...

Who?

Never mind. She got her whole family mixed up in one of those schemes

and they all stopped talking to her.

Look, there she is. You'll never get rid of her now.

Good morning.

Did you watch it? Well?

You know six people

and those six people know six more people.

That's how you form a distribution network

with continuous demand.

What if the chain is broken?

It never breaks, darling. This has all been studied.

Aurori, can you bring me a glass of water?

My mouth is dry from talking so much.

Thanks, doll.

Answer me this:

What's the one thing people want most nowadays?

I don't know...

A cure for cancer?

To be young and thin forever.

The economy has ups and downs,

but the beauty business will never crash.

You're coming with me to Leganés tomorrow.

Have you got anything nice to wear?

Some people have tried this and it didn't work out.

Forget them, they're losers. You know why?

Because they doubt.

Push it, push it.

Some people are addicted to bad vibes.

If you're attractive, open, optimistic,

and willing to grab the world by the horns, you'll do fine.

Look at me.

Actually... I feel a little silly dressed like this.

I think you look cute. The 90's are making a comeback.

What's the difference between the 90's and after 2000?

There are tons of differences.

Get used to it. In this world,

how you look is your best business card.

What about your boyfriend? I mean, when do you see him?

Every weekend. We have a jet.

I'll leave you. Mingle and have fun.

I'll be at Entrance D.

Thank you.

100 euros.

It's me. Sneak me in.

It's a registration donation. The conference is free.

María Dolores, I only have 50.

I don't know any María Dolores.

Felicity, I'm still not used to it.

We don't take credit cards.

What should I do, leave?

You need to change your attitude.

Look at all the free information I'm giving you.

Everything has a price.

Go in, there's a line.

Save me a seat.

100 euros.

I see Leganés is full of millionaires.

Good evening, Leganés.

How many millionaires are there in Leganés?

How many? I can't hear you...

It's her! She's here?

What did you expect?

She's the official spokeswoman in Spain.

I'm Victoria Abril.

Throughout my career, I've seen the same thing over and over again.

Actors waiting by the phone...

Hot streaks, cold streaks...

One day everyone wants to work with you,

and suddenly nobody does.

What's the message

that life is trying to tell us here?

You'll never get rich working for other people.

You'll only get rich if you work for yourself.

Say it along with me because it's important.

You'll never get rich working for other people.

You'll only get rich if you work...

- for yourself. - Good.

People say: "Victoria.

I'm trying, I work hard,

and I'm not making enough money yet.

What am I doing wrong?"

And I tell them: "Because deep down,

you hate money."

Your mind says yes, but your heart says no.

Money is not a bad thing.

Money is a gift from God within anyone's reach.

Like they say in the U.S.

Now I'd like to introduce

a great friend of mine, a sales leader

and 3-time winner of the Winning Business Academy's Success Award.

The Oscar of the business world.

Let's give her a big hand.

Thank you, Victoria.

It's hard to believe,

but my annual residual income

from SayLife is over 150,000 euros.

I'm Nieves Bravo

and I'm a Direct Sapphire Distributor.

I heard about the business from a friend.

"Try it, Nieves. You'll get hooked.

Happiness is addictive.

Being in a good mood is addictive."

And I got hooked.

Now I only work a few hours a week,

I have a lot of time for myself,

I can sit around all day watching TV

and I don't even feel guilty.

That means I'm free, right?

A round of applause for me because I deserve it!

I feel like I suddenly understand myself better.

Happiness is a choice. If I'm not happy, it's because I don't want to be.

I've been looking the other way all this time.

I love seeing you like this.

- Come on, I'll introduce you. - No...

Yes, silly. I have to cash out.

Wait here, I need go to the bathroom.

"High Heels,"

"Nobody Will Speak of Us When We're Dead"...

She had a rough time in that one.

- What happened? - She got beat up,

the poor thing. And "Turkish Passion."

What a great movie!

No, "Turkish Passion" was with Ana Belén.

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

What was the one where she was like Robocop?

You know which one I mean? She had a helmet camera...

No, she's not a robot. She was like technological.

"Kika."

Come in, girls.

I don't bite.

This is Encarna, an old friend. She wants to get into the business.

- Nice to meet you. - Congratulations.

I really liked the speeches.

Congratulations to you, gorgeous. And you know why?

Because you'll never ask yourself "What if?" again.

From now on you'll ask: "What else?"

The style was perfect. The lighting and sound were great.

The music came in late twice. Go on, sit down.

You couldn't even tell.

And I caught the sound crew smoking pot backstage.

I fired them halfway through the show.

Nobody even noticed.

I'm sick of those bums.

So you'd better find someone else.

You've gone so traditional since you quit smoking.

I... and so did the rest of Spain...

- thought you were in France. - Yeah, I know.

But I've been in Phoenix, Arizona for a while now.

That's where we met.

Hold me up.

Because of a 35-year-old cowboy.

My Morgan is a bodybuilding champ

and he sings in a Christian pop-rock band.

- Women do anything for love. - Right?

- You can say that again. - So here I am,

- reinventing myself. - Like everyone else.

Are you really serious about wanting to join our select club?

Of course. I'll give it my best shot.

- Wanting to isn't enough. - I know.

But I really want to.

First you have to pass the initiation.

We still don't know if you're

worthy of knowing our business secrets.

She's making more with SayLife than doing several movies a year.

Wow.

The world is changing. Movies are her hobby now.

- I thought she would be different. - How so?

I don't know, different.

A look like a mayor in this.

You look like a business woman. Don't look at the price.

- Did you see how much it is? - I used to be cheap like you.

And I was always constipated.

But ever since I started spending too much,

I go to the bathroom like clockwork. All the time, in fact.

I go pretty regularly.

You have the same haircut as when I met you.

- Modern. - Modern?

We need to do something about your hair.

By the way, have you picked a new name yet?

- Can I help you? - No, thank you.

But maybe I can help you.

Would you like to increase your income working a few hours a week?

No, thanks.

They tried that one on me last week.

You're on your own. You have to do the rest by yourself.

I'm nervous.

Be yourself. Honest and ambitious.

Hey... Thanks for bringing me here.

You're welcome.

You still need to pay me for the ceremony.

Sure, that makes sense.

It's customary. 300 euros.

- You get a discount. - Thanks.

The others are paying 400. I shouldn't be doing this.

150 euros covers the initiation,

100 euros for the executive product package...

50 for the business plan and 30-day Motivational Abundance course...

The contract-signing paper supply expenses are free.

Great.

The leather briefcase is a present from me.

Thank you so much. Everything's a plus.

Good luck.

What do you expect to gain from this, Benita?

Abundance, prosperity...

The things you say.

Can I ask you a question?

There's something about all this that escapes me.

What about people who don't have anything?

Is it their fault?

My mother has always been very positive.

She always looked on the bright side. Always.

But the man she married...

He drank, he beat her... A real son of a bitch.

She might be paying for bad karma.

And the children in Africa too?

All of us who can't find a job?

Wrong.

Too bad, Benita.

If you had money, you would feel guilty

and you might drag us all down with you.

No, money is exactly what I need.

The pyramid has to work.

I'm sorry, Benita.

You can't be part of the elite.

Next.

That's it? Should I leave?

Thank you, Benita.

Wait.

Before I get even more nervous than I already am,

I'd like to say something.

My whole life I've felt inferior

because my name is Encarna

and because I'm from Mostoles.

At school they called me empanadilla

because of that stupid comedy number.

I can't tell you what a painful coincidence that was for me.

For you and everyone else.

My whole life, whenever I said I was from Mostoles,

people gave me that empanadilla crap.

What a pain in the ass!

Mostoles isn't what people think it is.

It's a wonderful city with great potential in many fields.

- Our university is awesome. - Juan Carlos I.

My cousin studies there.

Okay, thank you. Let's continue.

Silence, please.

I've been stuck in the same phase for a long time.

I didn't believe in myself.

And now I feel like

thanks to the SayLife Corporation

I can finally take a step forward in my life.

A giant step...

I promise I'll do my best.

I really do.

It was very generous of you

to share your feelings with us.

What is my name?

Victoria, which means "victory."

Believe me, it's always brought me good luck.

And my last name. "April."

Springtime.

Encarna,

today you have the chance to pick a new name for yourself.

What's it going to be?

Goodbye Encarna...

and hello Beatriz.

Which means "blessed"

and "bringer of happiness."

Beatriz Orange Blossom.

I always liked orange blossoms.

Congratulations.

Today is the first day of your new life.

Welcome to SayLife Corporation.

What you are about to hear will show you how to obtain maximum profit

in the least time possible.

It's essential that you follow my instructions.

The first thing you must do is desire something intensely.

Focus on it.

This desire will keep you on the right track

when you're feeling down.

MILLIONAIRE BUSINESS BE YOUR OWN BOSS

Make a list of everyone you know. Do not exclude anyone.

You never know where you might find a potential customer.

It's essential that you sign up for the self-delivery program.

It's the engine that will keep your business functioning

at maximum capacity.

I'm your first customer!

Give me a little of everything.

Don't consider it an expense. It's an investment.

Look, first the pills.

They're important. Then facial cream and eye cream.

Okay, both.

Enthusiasm

has more power than anything technical you can learn.

Help!

What are you doing down there?

They fell on me!

Pay no attention to the skepticism

of conscious or unconscious naysayers.

What are you doing under there?

They want to steal your dream and project their frustration on you.

- When if you're never here? - When I get here.

SUCCESS AVENUE

Always keep an open, positive attitude.

BORN TO WIN

Repeat your affirmations every day.

I SEE A WINNER

What the hell are you doing?

What?

I'll paint you a crosswalk!

I'm home!

YOU'RE THE BEST SALESWOMAN!

The University of Minnesota says that in 5 years

there will be more than 15 million new rich people in Europe

thanks to direct sales.

And I wanted to share this with all of you.

I'll make you all a snack.

MY MILLIONAIRE AWARENESS GROWS WHILE I SLEEP

Remember you're at war, and your true enemy is negativity.

That was Eddie.

Murphy?

- Eddie Murphy? The black guy? - He's a lunatic.

He got promoted to West Coast Spokesman

and he's become unbearable.

Victoria, I'd like you to meet my six. It will only take a second.

- Already? - Yeah.

This is taking off. I really trust them.

They're very motivated. But they asked to meet you

and I couldn't say no.

Let's see.

I listen to your abundance course every night.

Thank you, how sweet.

I listened to it three times!

And you feel better, don't you?

Yes! I'm dying to hit the street to find customers.

My wife laughs when I say I'm a "businessman."

We'll see if she laughs when you make your first million euros.

We don't need so many lessons.

Just tell someone she's beautiful and she's yours.

They're ready for a conference, don't you think?

Samara and Yani are in sales.

I'm sure. Have you got a second?

I changed my name from Jesusa to "Health." I need it.

Is that okay?

Of course! Thank you all. Nice meeting you, you're very sweet.

Start selling!

What is it?

- There's a problem. - Yeah?

I don't like the kid.

What kid?

The gay one. I don't like gays.

They have a lot of pent-up rage disguised as frivolity.

You think so?

I know what I'm talking about.

They'd sell their mom for a laugh and can't be trusted with secrets.

I don't want him on my team.

This damn wig itches!

- Hi. - Hi.

How are you?

- Fine, you? - Great.

Your friends are very nice.

- Yeah. - I'm sure they'll sell a ton.

Is Nieves the millionaire an actress too?

You think the people in the ads really use the products?

Wake up, silly! They're actors.

And Victoria isn't the real Victoria Abril?

Actually yes.

She's an impostor posing as the real one.

Yeah?

What's wrong with you?

I can read your mind and all I see is suspicion and fear.

That will get us nowhere.

Do you ever feel fake sometimes?

Do I seem fake?

No, not you. I mean I do.

I couldn't tell.

I feel like I'm lying to myself.

You look better than ever.

I'm spending a lot of money, Feli.

Who?

The conferences are very expensive.

So do the products.

To bill I have to sign up as freelance.

You'll make ten times what you spend.

Yeah, I know.

Ask for a loan.

The first thing you have to do to be rich

is act like you are. Buy a car.

Money attracts money.

I need to cash out.

There's money missing.

Yes, there is! Somebody is stealing.

They must be.

From now on I want all the cashiers under surveillance.

They already are.

No, I mean before, during and after every show. Is that clear?

Lots of people today!

I'll talk to the bank.

The manager was a student of mine. He really likes me.

I'll pay you back soon, with interest. Money attracts money.

Don't worry about it. Young entrepreneurs need support.

Thank you, my love.

Leaving already? What about my thing?

I'll try to find some time over the weekend.

In the meantime, try to come up with another title.

- Here we go again. - It sounds boring, Ginés.

"Madrid Under Siege or French Treachery." I think it's powerful.

When have you ever seen a movie with two titles?

There are plenty of classics with two titles.

It was a custom.

Well, not anymore.

Bye.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

You see? You wanted a car and there it is. It's a miracle!

- I'm going to tell Victoria. - What for?

She loves cars. We can take her out, she's bored in that hotel.

Look!

We can go out some time. Girls' night out.

I'd have preferred the next model up.

The next model up cost 3 thousand euros more.

I like it. It says a lot about you.

You've reached your first goal on the first try.

Where there's a will and a little free time...

There's a will, but free time...

If she clings to that mattress store...

Do you work for a large American company on the Stock Exchange,

or a pathetic mattress chain?

I'm going to try it out.

You can't change your mind?

I can't hold down two jobs.

So you were serious about becoming a millionaire in 30 days.

We're working on it.

But I'm doing well, yes.

You're unrecognizable, Encarna.

Did you really kick out Paquitín?

Beatriz.

My name is Beatriz now.

Next stop, the psychiatric ward.

You've been brainwashed, gorgeous.

...and that's when you turn into a human magnet, attracting people...

Do you mind?

I can't fit any more at home.

- You can sell all of this? - Of course.

The bigger the order, the bigger the commission. That's the trick.

Last year a girl in Cincinnati made Senior Sapphire Manager

in one month. Why not me?

Okay, then. Get to work.

Hey, what about tomorrow?

Two o'clock sharp.

Wouldn't it be better to leave things as they are?

I saw you and thought you have potential charisma.

Would you like to join my sales team? No strings attached.

You could join my sales team. I don't ask just anybody.

You keep 25%. It's always nice to make a little extra money.

The universe is mental, you know. You attract what you think about.

Take this and call me. And don't wait too long...

- Call me. - Okay, thanks.

Bye.

25% of what you sell...

Are you sure you're not interested? Take a sample and try it.

Okay, thanks.

If you don't want to be happy, I can't force you.

- Thanks anyway. - Too bad.

Why were these on my bed?

They're yours. Do you like them? They have an air chamber.

You've been buying things non-stop lately.

Are you making that much money?

When money flows, it's like a boomerang.

Later it comes back to you tenfold.

It does?

- What do I do with the other one? - Keep it as a souvenir.

- They're very cool. - And expensive.

We deserve the best.

Since you like running so much, use the best.

Thanks, sweetie.

You really have changed.

Before you treated me like dirt.

You set the table for three.

No more lies.

Look.

He's right on time.

What?

You heard me.

I wish I hadn't!

This is not a fling.

Since when, you pig? Since high school?

I knew it. I knew it!

I told you this was a bad idea.

You wasted your youth on an old man!

Dad was 30 years older than you!

Exactly! He's over the hill!

My intentions are good.

In fact, we got married ten years ago.

Didn't we?

This can't be.

I didn't see this one coming!

Mom!

- Where are you going? - Stay away from me!

Mom!

Leave me alone! I can't even look at you!

Where are you going?

- Don't cross! - I can make it!

- Sure you don't want to pee? - No!

You shouldn't have bothered coming to see your sick sister.

This is worse than finding out about the old man.

Why did you call them?

Move on already. I have a lot of work.

I can't be here all day to look after you.

That's what sisters are for.

Take a look at the catalogue after. They're really great products.

My mother looks younger, doesn't she?

- In what sense? - She's still as proud as ever.

Nobody kicked you out. You left because you wanted to.

Because I wanted to?

The record company didn't want a gimp in the group.

- A dyslexic gimp! - You said it.

How did they get rid of me? Have them dance!

"Let's add choreography."

And you all loved the idea!

I liked to dance!

Why should I sit there stiff as a rod?

Hey! Stop shouting.

I'm glad you didn't get picked.

"You're sick" was a shitty song.

"Hotchicks.com?" Who came up with that garbage?

Selfish! You're selfish!

Please!

Please! You're acting like the real Supremes!

Stop shouting! This is a hospital!

She's been jealous since the day she was born.

It's true. It was a shitty song.

I can't talk right now.

Unbelievable. Encarna, can you hear me?

Beatriz. I thought we said Beatriz.

Shitty coverage.

- I can't talk right now. - Where is she?

I'm at the hospital visiting my mother.

- What hospital? - The hospital here in Mostoles.

My mother got hit by a car. An accident.

- Your mom's in the hospital? - Yes.

But she's okay. I bought her a sneaker...

She likes playing chicken with cars, I don't know why.

She usually makes it, but with the new sneaker...

What about the empanadilla? Encarna!

Don't give me shit right now! I said sneaker!

- Encarna! - What?

You're laughing at me?

No, silly. The signal is lousy.

You're nominated!

Me? For what?

You sold over 8,000 euros in one month.

That's unheard of for a Bronze Junior Manager.

How did you do it?

You know, I'm good at sales.

Who would have guessed?

Nominated for a Successful Award.

The Oscar of the business world.

Are they both related to Hollywood?

Totally.

Careful what you wish for.

Ambition is very powerful

and you're taking giant steps.

You know who you remind me of?

Myself.

This one doesn't convince me either.

Can't I wear my suit coat? It is my work uniform, after all.

A suit coat for the red carpet? Girls from Mostoles are unbelievable.

For ceremonies we also have this turquoise green with a mermaid cut.

- I love it. - I'm not trying on any more.

No good.

Where did you bring us?

La Paloma dressmakers. And if you don't like it,

buzz off.

Excuse me?

No need to be nasty. That's Victoria Abril.

Who, you?

No, me.

Yeah, right. Victoria Abril would shop in this store.

We're leaving.

You do not know how to treat a customer.

I let you try on everything in the store!

Let's go. We'll never find anything decent in Mostoles.

Hey, I can't spend a fortune on this.

Ms. Cheapskate is back. With the money you're making on commissions!

That's still a month away.

I'll pick out my own outfit.

I can't wait to get out of here!

What's she saying?

That this town sucks. What do you think?

It's not a town, it's a city.

More like another planet.

You used to like it here.

You were the coolest girl in town. What happened?

I saw the world, that's what happened.

True Grit, why are you by yourself?

What are you doing here?

He got away from me.

He saw you and went crazy.

Ginés, do you remember me? I was in your class too.

- You didn't attend very often. - That's true.

He was our history teacher, and he's also...

He's writing a screenplay for a movie

and I sometimes help him with the typing.

What's the movie about, may I ask?

It's about the huge role Mostoles played in the uprising against Napolean's troops.

How interesting!

But believe me, if they'd stayed home that day,

another rooster would have crowed in this country.

We'd be speaking French.

Lafayette Productions is looking for a co-production with Spain.

Remind me to pass on their contact info. You never know.

What's going on today? Are they shooting the movie already?

No, they're rehearsing to recreate the historical event. Right Ginés?

I won't disturb you any longer.

Say hi to your mother for me. I hope she gets better.

I thought you two were out of the closet.

What do I know?

Ginés!

Ginés...

- Wait a second. - I'm late.

I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me.

I'm going through a lot of stress right now.

I'm in big trouble.

You shouldn't come over for a while.

- What do you mean? - Take care of your mother.

She needs you, I'll be fine.

Where is this coming from?

I can't even make love to you anymore.

- When have I ever cared about that? - Come on, mutt.

You're taking the dog to the rehearsal?

There were dogs back in 1800, weren't there?

I'm here to return the merchandise.

I sell nothing. I quit the business.

Do you start the conversation with a compliment?

That's fundamental.

Ladies won't even open the door.

Can I have my money back?

MY MILLIONAIRE AWARENESS GROWS WHILE I SLEEP

Three panties for one euro!

Come here, gorgeous! Take a look!

Three panties for one euro! Come and get it!

Hi, girls.

How are sales going?

Awful. It's like ladies are wearing panties from last year.

Otherwise I can't explain it.

I mean... our thing.

When people see they're pills they change their minds.

Keep trying with the creams.

People always want more.

And before you place another order from headquarters,

order from me and I'll give you a 5% discount.

Okay, girls?

I'm a money magnet.

I'm a money...

Feli!

Sweetie! Stop calling me Feli.

You slept here?

It looks like I did.

How silly of me!

What time is it?

Buy me a cup of coffee?

- Can I take a shower at your place? - At my place?

Sure.

The hotel is too far.

Yeah.

Come in.

Wow, you are moving a lot of product here.

Keep this up and you'll be an international sales executive

- in Phoenix, Arizona. - You think so?

I'm about to close another distribution arm.

I can see that.

María Dolores.

I don't deserve the nomination.

What are you talking about?

I'm accumulating product to reach the equitable potential voucher.

It's okay.

I wanted to be a sales leader and make the commissions.

You know how much I've spent?

But the truth is, I really haven't sold very much.

You overdosed on ambition, that's all.

Just don't place any more orders for a few months.

But they'll notice I went from a Senior Sapphire Manager

to a Junior Bronze Manager again.

What do I do? People in the neighborhood avoid me like the plague.

Move to another neighborhood.

Do you make money doing this?

Be honest, it's me.

Of course I do.

Well, right now I'm only a recruiter.

When I've recruited 300, I'll go up a level.

That's where you make money without doing anything.

When will that be?

You still don't get it.

My boyfriend Marcus doesn't exist either.

Well, he does, we just haven't met each other yet.

But I tell my brain he's real,

that way my mind attracts what it thinks it knows.

Don't you see?

It's madness.

Be patient.

Visualize.

Money flying in your bedroom window.

Everything in due time.

EMERGENCIES

Hi, this is Ginés.

Leave me a message

after...

What?

I feel like getting shitfaced

like in the old days. Are you in?

If you don't feel like it, why come?

- I do feel like it. - You should see your face.

You had a bad day.

I have a right to be in a shitty mood today, that's all.

She must be talking to her boyfriend.

I've heard them arguing before. Should we knock?

Sure.

We said we were going out.

He hung up on me!

I feel like having some fun tonight.

So do we.

My boyfriend just left me for a woman much older than me.

What is wrong with men?

What is their problem?

What is life trying to tell me?

What? What?

Alone again!

Why did I fall for such a fucking asshole?

Are you ready?

Because tonight the drinks are on the house!

Shouldn't you put that in the safe?

I can't fit any more money in the safe!

I don't know where to put it!

And the maids are stealing from me.

Wouldn't a bank be safer?

Give me 5 minutes.

He doesn't feel the way he used to about me.

And he just comes out and says it, 4 thousand miles away!

You tell someone these things to their face!

You can't break up with someone on the phone!

And he's the jerk who got me into all this bullshit.

It screwed my rep as an actress and my career

is in the toilet now!

What are you doing?

She can't put it in a bank! You are so clueless!

Hopefully people won't recognize me like this.

People drive me nuts taking photos with their cell phones!

Look, like Paco Rabal used to say:

"Fuel for the ride."

Now you're talking.

- You're exaggerating. - No, I'm not. 300.

You know how to say "tacky" in Greek?

"Demostoles".

I have a hunch, I'm going to win a lot of money tonight.

I know it. Unlucky in love, lucky at gambling.

Black, odd number.

Those guys are checking us out.

- One keeps staring at your tits. - Great.

Let him.

I'll buy them a round. The suckers might bring us luck.

Go for it.

You've never cheated on Ginés?

Ginés the grandpa?

Never.

The bandolero?

Well, well.

You sure kept that one quiet.

Does he still fuck you?

He fucks my brains out.

Better than anyone's ever fucked you.

- Right! - Or you.

It's possible, old men are great lovers.

What's your record for orgasms in one night?

A lot.

How many?

More than ten.

You beat me.

Mine is 13, but on a weekend.

Nine.

Red, odd number.

This means Morgan still loves me. Otherwise I can't explain it.

Who are you?

Hey, your friend reminds me of...

What's her name?

Victoria Abril, she gets that all the time.

And what was your name again?

Beatriz.

And where are you from?

Madrid.

Beatriz from Madrid.

I know my psychology.

And something tells me you're a very smart girl.

You know what?

It's no coincidence

you and I met here tonight.

I'd like to...

tell you about a business I have going

that could make you a lot of money.

Sorry, baby, but I have to go.

I know my psychology too.

That is no way to hit on a girl or especially do business.

Save some cash for the ride back, your taxi is leaving.

And you! I lied to you.

My name isn't Beatriz, it's Encarna.

And I'm from Mostoles.

And I'm proud of it.

That bitch!

What is your fucking problem?

I don't want to be rich anymore, that's what.

- How many drinks have you had? - Less than you.

- Then what's the big hurry? - Look.

No matter how hard we try, life is what it is.

One big acid trip we can't control. It gets away from us.

Okay.

- Breathe from your stomach. - I don't want to.

Nobody chooses for things to go wrong, they just do!

Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't!

This is a typical reaction, denial and resisting change.

Open yourself to the change.

The problem is you're scared.

You're the one who's scared.

I'm perfectly fine. My feet are on the ground.

You're totally demented!

I helped you believe in yourself and climb out of your hole.

You were a caterpillar, now you're a butterfly.

Fuck you.

How can you talk to me like that? Beatriz!

My name is Encarna, damn it. And I'm pissed off.

- I have a right to be! - Just give me 5 minutes.

We need to talk. Urgently.

I have another deal going that might interest you.

Fine, you'll never get rich selling the pills like they say.

The real money is in the conferences.

You have no idea how much dough they pull in.

Of course I do.

All illegal cash, you saw it.

I quit my job, remember?

Ginés mortgaged his home to get the fucking loan.

Do you have any idea what that means?

Listen, I never lied to you.

The Law of Abundance follows its course.

The money is there, you just have to take it.

How could I be so stupid?

I could punch you in the face right now.

She's promised a thousand times

to pay me a commission for the people I bring in, but there I am,

sleeping in a car.

It's true, I don't make a penny off the commissions.

The bitch keeps it all for herself, she trusts nobody.

She uses her popularity

and the fact that she is or was going out with one of the bosses.

This is irrelevant, but this Morgan guy is totally hot.

Anyway, she's totally set up.

So she is the real Victoria Abril,

the one from the Almodóvar films?

You still doubt that?

How should I know? This whole thing is so surreal,

she could be her look-a-like cousin from Albacete!

Well, it's her, I swear.

The people in Arizona are totally clueless.

She's been telling them that it's not working here.

If I told them the truth, she'd shit in her pants.

The Regional Corporate Leadership Convention is in two weeks.

In Mostoles.

I was thinking of swiping a big chunk of the proceeds

and I need help.

Nobody reports illegal cash stolen.

Well? What do you say?

Are you in?

That's the night they give out the Successful Award!

Who knows, you might win!

Hi, this is Ginés.

Leave a message

after the beep.

Thank you.

Hello?

MADRID UNDER SIEGE OR FRENCH TREACHERY

He left.

He had 3 suitcases, dragging that mutt behind him.

He didn't even say goodbye.

By the way, I've been taking the pills. Five a day.

But I still look old.

I'll help you.

But I only want back what Ginés owes the bank.

Great.

We'll each take the amount we need.

- Why don't you want us to go? - What for?

I'm not going to win.

- But we were excited. - No.

It's really nice to see the four of you together again.

We declared war on negativity, like you.

We're sick of being pressured by the record companies.

- It's a dark world. - And what the hell.

We miss the street parties and local festivals.

And I want you to explain the SayLife thing to me.

We're thinking of becoming distributors.

Okay, we'll see.

Bye.

You're so naive! You need an education for that.

You think we're illiterate or what?

We went to school.

A degree!

They don't look skinnier in person than on TV.

I studied my ass off.

So Encarna's finally out of the closet, huh?

That's her girlfriend, right?

It's a huge moment for a SayLife distributor.

I'm not nervous at all.

And there's no rivalry between us. We've become great friends, haven't we?

I'm not nervous at all.

Is it true Antonio Hidalgo is hosting the gala?

I'm a super fan.

We don't take credit cards.

We're cashing out when we shut the doors. Before the event.

- Perfect, thanks. - Okay.

Enjoy the conference.

I'll try.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome

Antonio Hidalgo.

Good evening, everyone. It's a pleasure to be here.

I admit it, I'm a newcomer.

I just had this business explained to me

and I'm seriously considering quitting television.

Trust me, you make a lot more doing this.

Now it's time to greet

this quarter's sales leaders, the three nominees for

the Winning Business Academy's Successful Award

to be given this evening.

How are you, girls?

Are you nervous?

Not again! I'm not nervous at all.

So much money!

We could split it three ways

and never look back.

We wish. But Vicky insisted on leaving for Andorra tonight.

Like I want to go to Andorra.

The cash from the last few months. We don't even know how much.

- Why are you telling her? - I didn't tell her anything.

- What do you mean, you didn't? - No.

You can tell me anything you want.

- You could come to Andorra. - What for?

To get rid off this guy.

We can leave him at a gas station.

Victoria Abril!

Long live Mostoles!

How many millionaires are there in Mostoles?

Victoria, what's that outfit?

Goyesca bandolera.

To fight the French.

Victoria has them eating out of her hand.

You know, Antonio Hidalgo. He worked with Ana Rosa Quintana.

He worked with Hermida.

He made a record, it was a hit.

How old does Nieves look?

Yes, I know. Everyone thinks I'm 35,

but I'm over 50, I swear!

And all thanks to the SayLife pills!

My daughter and her friends can't stand me!

She is so annoying!

Yeah, a little.

You didn't sell anything either, did you?

They say you have to put up with life,

and that it's crazy to think dreams are real.

But there's a way to win

which today I am going to reveal.

Inside of you there's...

I have to step out for a moment.

It's almost time!

I'm so nervous I need to...

Me too, but I can hold it.

Are you two having fun?

I told you not to let the redhead out of your sight!

Where is she?

How's it going? I'm shitting in my pants!

- There's more than I thought. - We're going to jail.

Spread it out!

I'll keep watch outside.

Is there a problem?

No, why?

You see?

I have to order a taxi for Antonio Hidalgo.

I already ordered it.

Do you mind?

Ladies' room, take a hike!

Who are you?

It's time to hand out

our prestigious award.

The Winning Business Academy's Successful Award goes to...

Antonio, I forgot my glasses, you read it.

Wait, I forgot mine too.

Flea is the best dealer here in Mostoles.

What else do you think three girls in a bathroom are doing?

You've got some? Invite us to a line.

They snorted it all. They're greedy.

I needed it.

I have pills and other stuff in my car.

I'll hook you guys up.

You think I'm stupid?

Shh. One second.

What a beautiful name!

The Winning Business Academy's Successful Award

goes to...

Beatriz Orange Blossom!

Go get your award!

She's temporarily indisposed or something.

I'll accept it in her name and I'll give it to her when I see her.

Sorry!

I'm back!

Thank you.

Sorry, it's not easy getting around in this dress.

Especially in the bathroom.

I want to thank

my new family,

the SayLife Corporation.

Thank you very much.

If I did it, you can too.

It's that way, I'd better go that way.

Here, keep it. I'm sure you're more excited about it.

And don't believe what they say! Nobody really knows anything!

It looks like our winner is in a hurry to celebrate her award.

In the meantime, I'd like to tell you a few things

about SayLife.

Son of a bitch!

...the business community

and the financial press.

So thank you and congratulations for belonging

to this big family! We'll see you at the next gala.

Who knows? Any of you could be the next winner.

Stop!

See you soon!

The goody-two-shoes is smarter than she looks!

Orozco!

You've never seen Victoria angry.

I mean really angry.

Take off the skirt.

Let's go!

Orozco, take it.

What a mess!

What did I say? A zipper! Not buttons, a zipper!

I tried every shop in Mostoles!

They didn't have zippers that long.

Open that.

What are you doing here?

Where have you been?

We have to hide.

The French are coming. They're everywhere!

What are you talking about?

There's a firing squad in the square.

Get me out of here. Don't let them catch us.

Come on.

A FEW MONTHS LATER

Hello, my love.

There's something I haven't told you,

although...

you might already know.

I'll leave it there so you can take a look.

I highlighted the set-up and strengthened the plot beats.

They're more implicit than explicit now.

Well, basically, I cut out a lot of stuff we didn't need.

And just so you know, we both signed it.

Like I said, the title still doesn't convince me, but...

I don't know, that's your call.

You're still here? It's New Year's Eve!

The boss wanted me to finish the inventory.

Aurori's in the square, I'm on my way over. I hear it's nuts.

Sorry. I'll be right over.

Hello?

Hello? I'm calling from Lafayette Productions.

From where?

You'll never believe what happened!

"Surprising, moving and thrilling."

That they hadn't read anything like it in ages.

They want to shoot it in French. And with who?

Who?

Victoria Abril! As the mayor of Mostoles' daughter.

Really?

She got me the contact.

She's dying to do another Spanish movie.

Gorgeous!

START YOUR OWN SILKWORM BUSINESS

Excuse me.

You don't know me at all, but I know you.

You don't say!

And you know what?

I was angry with you for a long time,

and now you're right in front of me and I don't feel angry anymore.

Anyway.

Nice meeting you. Take this every 8 hours.

Wait. Look, I respect you as an artist.

You've made me and my family laugh a lot.

Until that empanadilla thing.

That's when I gave up on Martes y Trece.

I got pretty sick of it too.

What are you doing in Mostoles?

Are we in Mostoles?

That damn freeway!

Watch out, someone may see you

and throw rocks at you.

Yee-haw!

Another bottle!

Good lord.

I sort of got cynical this last year

because it felt like the universe had turned against me.

Everything went wrong.

But finally I realized

that if you try hard enough,

you get what you wish for.

It's no coincidence that you and I met tonight.

Excuse me?

I mean...

you had unfinished business with me

and the whole universe conspired to produce this encounter.

Phew!

Why phew?

No reason, it's a long story.

Okay.

Hey.

Can you do me some Gloria Fuertes?

You're kidding. Listener requests!

- Please. - Always the same.

Look, because I like you. Since I have my glasses...

How did it go? The bird thing. Oh, yeah.

Birds chirp, cats meow,

spiders bite you and you say "ow."

It's not as funny in person.

What do you mean?

In the encyclopedia of Spanish humor

there will be a profile and six pages about us.

Well, even a color photo!

"Bicycle without a seat."

- Want to hear a secret? - Okay.

The bicycle didn't have a seat.

Nati Mistral, Nati Mistral.

It was like...

Look at the reflection of the moon on the river!

I'm going to the river to wash my asshole!

My husband told me to after he stuck in his pole!

His pole in the river!

- And Rafael... - Rafael.

Who knows...?

Massiel.

It's easier to find roses in the sea.

Tina Turner.

If somebody had told me years ago

I'd spend New Year's in Mostoles...

talking all close to you,

I'd have peed all over myself.

By the way, what's your name?