All language subtitles for Modern Family - 10x14 - We Need to Talk About Lily.SVA.English.HI.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:02,976 - [Stella panting] - The vet called. 2 00:00:03,078 --> 00:00:04,778 Stella's test results came back. 3 00:00:04,847 --> 00:00:07,714 He wants me to bring her in... today. 4 00:00:07,817 --> 00:00:10,350 Oh, no. Come here, you. 5 00:00:10,419 --> 00:00:11,985 Oh, Jay, I'm so sorry. 6 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:15,889 That is the bad thing about loving animals, right? 7 00:00:15,958 --> 00:00:19,626 But think about all the wonderful things you gave her, 8 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:22,629 like a beautiful home, delicious food... 9 00:00:22,665 --> 00:00:24,885 - [Lid thuds] - ...our marital bed. 10 00:00:24,967 --> 00:00:29,336 I'm sorry, Jay, Stella will not be forgotten. 11 00:00:30,606 --> 00:00:32,973 I'm not putting her down, you goblin. 12 00:00:33,042 --> 00:00:34,475 She needs a surgery. 13 00:00:34,510 --> 00:00:37,511 Oh. That is such great news. 14 00:00:37,613 --> 00:00:38,979 Oh, what's wrong with Stella? 15 00:00:39,048 --> 00:00:40,948 She has an elongated soft palate, 16 00:00:41,016 --> 00:00:43,050 which is why sometimes it's hard for her to breathe. 17 00:00:43,152 --> 00:00:44,651 And she snores a lot. 18 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,353 Any chance that they can do you, too? 19 00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:48,589 This is a serious operation. They have to put her out. 20 00:00:48,691 --> 00:00:50,324 What happens if she doesn't wake up? 21 00:00:50,426 --> 00:00:51,458 What would I do?! 22 00:00:51,560 --> 00:00:52,793 When I got my wisdom teeth out, 23 00:00:52,862 --> 00:00:54,795 you made me walk the last four blocks to the dentist 24 00:00:54,830 --> 00:00:57,364 so you could get an Egg McMuffin before the 10:30 cut-off. 25 00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:58,599 You're gonna have to let that go. 26 00:00:59,141 --> 00:01:00,200 You know what? I'm not gonna do it. 27 00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:02,135 - She seems fine. - Maybe she just needs 28 00:01:02,238 --> 00:01:03,637 some fresh air to breathe better. 29 00:01:03,706 --> 00:01:05,305 Why don't we take her to the dog park? 30 00:01:05,374 --> 00:01:08,242 That's a great idea. Might be a little muddy out there. 31 00:01:08,344 --> 00:01:09,943 I'm gonna get your boots, gorgeous. 32 00:01:09,979 --> 00:01:11,712 Thank you. 33 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,982 My boots are in the closet, next to the... 34 00:01:15,084 --> 00:01:16,650 Was he just talking to Stella? 35 00:01:16,719 --> 00:01:17,951 Come here, you. 36 00:01:27,062 --> 00:01:29,463 ♪ 37 00:01:31,138 --> 00:01:34,134 Crown molding wainscoting, crown molding wainscoting, 38 00:01:34,203 --> 00:01:36,436 French door credit score, French door credit score. 39 00:01:36,539 --> 00:01:37,804 You warming up for a big showing? 40 00:01:37,907 --> 00:01:38,839 Very big. 41 00:01:38,941 --> 00:01:40,707 I finally found Pepper his dream house. 42 00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,776 I can't believe you're still letting that man waste your time. 43 00:01:42,878 --> 00:01:44,444 How many houses have you shown him? 44 00:01:44,547 --> 00:01:47,781 Pfft, only, like... I don't know, like, uh, 120. 45 00:01:47,883 --> 00:01:49,483 But we have fun. He's a hoot. 46 00:01:49,585 --> 00:01:51,985 Honey, even Mitch and Cam agree that he's impossible, 47 00:01:52,087 --> 00:01:53,587 and he's never gonna buy a house. 48 00:01:53,689 --> 00:01:54,688 - Yes, he will. - No. 49 00:01:54,790 --> 00:01:56,523 He always manages to find something wrong. 50 00:01:56,625 --> 00:02:00,594 The last house, the yoga room was too close to the panic room. 51 00:02:00,696 --> 00:02:02,095 He was willing to live with that, 52 00:02:02,197 --> 00:02:04,765 but the property wasn't zoned for his falcons. 53 00:02:04,867 --> 00:02:07,434 This one today, though, checks every single box. 54 00:02:07,536 --> 00:02:10,771 Great. So if Pepper doesn't buy the house today, 55 00:02:10,873 --> 00:02:13,440 you agree to stop letting him string you along 56 00:02:13,542 --> 00:02:15,275 and drop him as a client. 57 00:02:15,377 --> 00:02:18,845 How long did you string me along before I closed that deal? 58 00:02:18,948 --> 00:02:21,014 Honey, you can't get Pepper pregnant 59 00:02:21,116 --> 00:02:22,950 - and trap him in a house. - You're on. 60 00:02:23,052 --> 00:02:23,951 You remember you need to be home 61 00:02:24,053 --> 00:02:25,786 - by 5:00, right? - Yeah. 62 00:02:25,888 --> 00:02:27,087 Wait, why? 63 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:29,423 Alex's boyfriend, Bill, has cooked up some invention 64 00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,091 he wants us to invest in. 65 00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,593 Why us? 66 00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:36,597 Because someone inspired him. 67 00:02:36,699 --> 00:02:42,302 As you can see, my patent-pending Wear-Chair TM, barely noticeable. 68 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,271 - I love it. - Whenever I get tired of standing, 69 00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:46,773 all I have to do... press this button. 70 00:02:47,745 --> 00:02:51,378 A spring-loaded leg jets out to provide me with a comfy seat. 71 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:52,379 [Grunts] 72 00:02:53,452 --> 00:02:54,781 You put it on backwards, didn't you? 73 00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:56,450 [Strained] My point is, Bill, 74 00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:58,719 there's a great invention inside all of us. 75 00:02:58,821 --> 00:03:00,554 Please, just be home in time. 76 00:03:00,656 --> 00:03:02,189 I don't want to crush a man's dreams on my own. 77 00:03:02,291 --> 00:03:03,223 You have to do it with me. 78 00:03:03,325 --> 00:03:05,659 Who knows? We might love his invention. 79 00:03:05,728 --> 00:03:06,760 It's gonna be stupid. 80 00:03:06,862 --> 00:03:08,028 Good thing you weren't married to George Foreman 81 00:03:08,130 --> 00:03:10,364 or we'd still be grilling our meats one side at a time. 82 00:03:10,466 --> 00:03:11,732 Mm. 83 00:03:12,771 --> 00:03:16,403 So, Lily, how... how are you today?! 84 00:03:16,505 --> 00:03:17,671 Lily?! 85 00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:19,306 [Snaps fingers] Lily. 86 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:21,174 Your father was just asking how you're doing. 87 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,476 Are... Are you all right? 88 00:03:22,578 --> 00:03:23,810 - I'm fine. - Okay. 89 00:03:25,347 --> 00:03:27,581 Yeah. 90 00:03:27,683 --> 00:03:29,616 [Whispering] Okay, uh... I gestured you over here 91 00:03:29,685 --> 00:03:30,984 'cause we need to talk about Lily. 92 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,152 Yes, I puzzled that out. 93 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,254 Also, you don't need to whisper. Watch. 94 00:03:34,356 --> 00:03:35,922 Honey, your father and I may get divorced 95 00:03:36,025 --> 00:03:37,758 because he's thinking about becoming a woman. 96 00:03:37,860 --> 00:03:39,526 That explains a lot. 97 00:03:39,628 --> 00:03:43,563 - I'm in between songs. - Okay, all right. Now out. This way. 98 00:03:43,666 --> 00:03:44,898 What is going on with her? 99 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:46,867 I don't want to be shut out like this another day. 100 00:03:46,969 --> 00:03:49,236 I know, but let's... let's not get hysterical. 101 00:03:49,338 --> 00:03:50,437 I'm not getting hysterical. 102 00:03:50,539 --> 00:03:51,772 - We're minutes away. - Fair enough. 103 00:03:51,874 --> 00:03:53,640 I just want to see her smile. 104 00:03:53,709 --> 00:03:55,442 Yeah, okay, I'm gonna text Ronaldo again. 105 00:03:55,544 --> 00:03:58,378 Hopefully he got us into that KimmyLoveandStuff party. 106 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,547 KimmyLoveandStuff is an Internet sensation 107 00:04:00,649 --> 00:04:02,015 - that Lily loves. - Yeah. 108 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,684 - Boom! - She tries on clothes, 109 00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:06,086 she cries about bullies and plastic. 110 00:04:06,188 --> 00:04:08,088 You guys, just imagine 111 00:04:08,190 --> 00:04:10,590 if you were a turtle and this happened to you. 112 00:04:10,693 --> 00:04:12,592 Our whole family is obsessed with her. 113 00:04:12,695 --> 00:04:14,928 And that's the great thing about a tween girl 114 00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:16,296 having two gay dads. 115 00:04:16,365 --> 00:04:18,131 I mean, we... we love the same things. 116 00:04:18,233 --> 00:04:20,400 Cute guys, fashion, gossip. 117 00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:22,736 - [Whoosh] - Oh, my God! Ronaldo, he got us in! 118 00:04:22,838 --> 00:04:23,837 - Amazing. - [Laughs] 119 00:04:23,939 --> 00:04:24,938 Okay, we have to get him a thank-you gift. 120 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:26,606 No, no, he owes you, okay? 121 00:04:26,709 --> 00:04:28,241 You gave him your bone marrow. 122 00:04:28,343 --> 00:04:29,576 Well, how could I not? 123 00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:32,512 He was still hungry, and I wasn't gonna eat any more of it. 124 00:04:32,581 --> 00:04:36,483 And we make our way back to the formal entryway, 125 00:04:36,585 --> 00:04:38,652 which, according to your checklist, 126 00:04:38,754 --> 00:04:40,854 "must be large enough to make people swoon 127 00:04:40,923 --> 00:04:42,155 when they step inside." 128 00:04:42,257 --> 00:04:44,424 I want to do it again. 129 00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:47,227 Ugh, that Pepper claims to be wealthy, 130 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:48,395 but I don't believe it for a... 131 00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:49,730 [Gasps] Oh, my heavens! 132 00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:51,164 - We're peasants. - [Laughs] 133 00:04:51,266 --> 00:04:53,033 It's got everything on your list... 134 00:04:53,102 --> 00:04:55,669 piano bar, his and his dining rooms, 135 00:04:55,771 --> 00:04:59,239 plus a view of Rihanna's roof, which I never quite understood. 136 00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:01,241 I did a party for her once, and I could feel 137 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:04,611 those judgy Barbadian eyes looking down on me. 138 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:08,215 Now who's looking down on who, RiRi? 139 00:05:08,283 --> 00:05:11,118 Like they say, location, location, vengeance. 140 00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:13,286 [Laughs] You're funny. 141 00:05:13,388 --> 00:05:15,956 Oh, it's fabulous, Phil. Mother would love it. 142 00:05:16,058 --> 00:05:18,258 It's her generosity and my power of attorney 143 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,293 that are making this purchase possible. 144 00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:23,263 So... are we ready to sign the offer? 145 00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,798 Very close. 146 00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,466 I just want to live in it for a bit, 147 00:05:26,568 --> 00:05:27,968 get a feel for the everyday. 148 00:05:28,070 --> 00:05:29,302 You're in no hurry, right? 149 00:05:29,404 --> 00:05:33,039 Oh, no, no, no. If I was in a hurry, would I have shown you over 200 houses? 150 00:05:33,142 --> 00:05:35,342 I can't wait to get to the park. 151 00:05:35,444 --> 00:05:36,676 Hey, there's our mailman. 152 00:05:36,745 --> 00:05:38,145 Hey! Hey! 153 00:05:38,247 --> 00:05:39,279 Settle down, Jay. 154 00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:40,647 Boy, I'm itchy today. 155 00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:42,616 Hey, I hope that dog Bingo's at the park. 156 00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:44,151 He's fun to play with. 157 00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:45,852 What are you doing? You just missed our turn. 158 00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:47,354 I'm just going another way. 159 00:05:47,456 --> 00:05:49,689 There is no other way. 160 00:05:49,792 --> 00:05:52,058 You're not taking us to the park. 161 00:05:52,127 --> 00:05:53,293 We're going to the vet. 162 00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,996 The doctor said that she needs this surgery. 163 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,465 - She's gonna be fine. - I feel sick. I need some air. 164 00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:06,273 So, here I am on an ordinary day in my new house everyone hates me for 165 00:06:06,308 --> 00:06:09,295 - and I'm walking and I'm kvelling... - [Sighs] 166 00:06:09,363 --> 00:06:13,399 and we're panting and we're schvitzing... 167 00:06:13,501 --> 00:06:17,403 - and we're laughing and we're crying... - [Laughs] 168 00:06:17,505 --> 00:06:19,038 and we're thinking. 169 00:06:19,106 --> 00:06:20,639 [Whispering] And I'm putting. 170 00:06:20,708 --> 00:06:21,940 [Whispering] So, you have an entire wardrobe 171 00:06:22,009 --> 00:06:23,442 - in your car? - Shh! 172 00:06:23,477 --> 00:06:27,446 ♪ And I'm playing and I'm singing ♪ 173 00:06:27,481 --> 00:06:29,014 ♪ And they're loving it ♪ 174 00:06:29,116 --> 00:06:30,149 [Clapping] 175 00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:31,750 I said loving it. 176 00:06:31,852 --> 00:06:33,719 [Loud clapping] 177 00:06:33,788 --> 00:06:36,622 - [Sighs] - This is a disaster! 178 00:06:36,724 --> 00:06:38,357 What a fun way to enter a room. 179 00:06:38,426 --> 00:06:40,292 I know Bill's coming over to talk to you guys today, 180 00:06:40,361 --> 00:06:42,227 - and I'm freaking out. - Oh, honey, don't worry. 181 00:06:42,296 --> 00:06:43,862 We're not gonna invest in his invention. 182 00:06:43,964 --> 00:06:45,331 That's not why he wants to talk to you. 183 00:06:45,399 --> 00:06:46,565 It's a cover. 184 00:06:46,634 --> 00:06:49,001 He's going to ask for your blessing to marry me. 185 00:06:49,103 --> 00:06:51,337 - Whoa, what? - And you have to tell him no. 186 00:06:51,405 --> 00:06:52,638 How do you know this? 187 00:06:52,707 --> 00:06:55,040 All of the men in his family propose on Valentine's Day, 188 00:06:55,109 --> 00:06:56,175 which is coming up. 189 00:06:56,243 --> 00:06:59,445 I read a text he sent to his buddy who just got engaged asking for tips 190 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:02,781 for a good proposal, and my friend saw him coming out of a jewelry store. 191 00:07:02,817 --> 00:07:05,651 So you read his texts and you track his movements. 192 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,586 I can see why he's so eager to lock you down. 193 00:07:07,655 --> 00:07:10,189 Look, I really like being with Bill, 194 00:07:10,257 --> 00:07:11,957 and if I have to turn him down, 195 00:07:12,059 --> 00:07:14,393 that means the end of the relationship 196 00:07:14,495 --> 00:07:17,196 and all that great sex. 197 00:07:17,264 --> 00:07:19,598 Really come out of your shell, haven't you? 198 00:07:20,735 --> 00:07:21,633 [Dance music plays] 199 00:07:21,736 --> 00:07:23,736 - Okay. - [Chuckles] 200 00:07:23,804 --> 00:07:27,506 Okay. Are you ready?! Surprise! 201 00:07:27,608 --> 00:07:29,842 I'm gonna need a little bit more information. 202 00:07:29,877 --> 00:07:33,679 - You are at KimmyLoveandStuff's exclusive launch party... - KimmyLoveandStuff. 203 00:07:33,781 --> 00:07:37,116 ...for her new makeup line, and she's gonna sing 204 00:07:37,184 --> 00:07:38,250 - her hit single... - Single! 205 00:07:38,319 --> 00:07:39,651 - ..."Give Me Love and Stuff." - "Love and Stuff." 206 00:07:39,754 --> 00:07:42,321 Okay. How did you guys do this? 207 00:07:42,390 --> 00:07:45,657 Hello, total strangers. [Laughs] Welcome. 208 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,359 Thank you so much for doing this, Ronaldo. 209 00:07:47,428 --> 00:07:48,660 If anyone asks who you are, 210 00:07:48,696 --> 00:07:50,796 say you were looking for the Garth Brooks book signing. 211 00:07:50,831 --> 00:07:52,398 - Oh. - They'll believe you because of your clothes. 212 00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,400 I'm gonna go look for the bathroom. 213 00:07:54,435 --> 00:07:57,436 - Okay. - Oh, look, she is so nervous, it's adorable. 214 00:07:57,505 --> 00:07:59,438 Um, uh, do you think that there's any way 215 00:07:59,473 --> 00:08:01,740 we can get KimmyLoveandStuff to come over and meet Lily? 216 00:08:01,809 --> 00:08:03,809 I'm not allowed to look her in the eye, so no. 217 00:08:03,911 --> 00:08:06,245 - [Static] - This is Ronaldo. 218 00:08:06,347 --> 00:08:08,847 Just pick it up, blow on it, and put it back on the tray. 219 00:08:08,949 --> 00:08:10,549 Are you kidding me with these questions? 220 00:08:10,584 --> 00:08:12,284 [Exhales sharply] We got to get KimmyLoveandStuff 221 00:08:12,353 --> 00:08:15,521 - to say hi to Lily. - [Gasps] Well, there's her dog, Boo, so she's nearby. 222 00:08:15,589 --> 00:08:17,790 Okay, I just got a really sketchy but great idea. 223 00:08:17,858 --> 00:08:20,359 Um, did you pack your jerky? 224 00:08:20,461 --> 00:08:21,493 Turkey, beef, or salmon? 225 00:08:21,595 --> 00:08:23,028 - Here's what we're gonna do. - Oh, please. 226 00:08:23,063 --> 00:08:24,596 This is not the first time I've lured an animal 227 00:08:24,665 --> 00:08:26,832 away from its owner with my purse jerky. 228 00:08:26,934 --> 00:08:28,667 ♪ 229 00:08:28,736 --> 00:08:31,437 Boo, come here. Boo, you want some treats? 230 00:08:31,539 --> 00:08:32,738 Good girl. Come here. 231 00:08:32,807 --> 00:08:34,907 [Screams] Move! Boo! 232 00:08:34,942 --> 00:08:36,809 Does anyone have eyes on Boo?! 233 00:08:36,877 --> 00:08:38,610 Those old men snatched her. 234 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:40,078 Are you trying to steal my dog? 235 00:08:40,147 --> 00:08:41,547 No, no, no, no. I'm so sorry. We were just... 236 00:08:41,615 --> 00:08:43,015 We're just trying to, uh, get your attention. 237 00:08:43,083 --> 00:08:44,616 Yeah, you see, our daughter, Lily, she... 238 00:08:44,718 --> 00:08:45,918 she's a massive fan 239 00:08:45,986 --> 00:08:48,320 and she's a little depressed right now and we just... 240 00:08:48,389 --> 00:08:49,888 we want to see her smile again. 241 00:08:49,957 --> 00:08:52,524 Oh... my... God. 242 00:08:54,061 --> 00:08:56,409 Gay dads are the best! 243 00:08:56,444 --> 00:08:58,230 - That's what we said. - We say that. 244 00:08:58,265 --> 00:08:59,832 I think it's because we love to have fun, 245 00:08:59,900 --> 00:09:01,700 but we're also not afraid to get real. 246 00:09:01,735 --> 00:09:04,603 Aww. I hate the idea of your daughter not smiling. 247 00:09:04,672 --> 00:09:06,338 - [Sighs] - Let's go make her day. 248 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:07,639 Okay, well, that's her right there. 249 00:09:07,741 --> 00:09:09,074 Um, that's Lily. 250 00:09:09,176 --> 00:09:10,075 Film this. 251 00:09:10,144 --> 00:09:11,109 I-Is she talking to me? 252 00:09:11,212 --> 00:09:12,110 Yeah. 253 00:09:12,179 --> 00:09:15,214 Of course, Ms. LoveandStuff. [Chuckles] 254 00:09:15,282 --> 00:09:17,816 Hey, lovers and stuffers. It's your girl, Kimmy. 255 00:09:17,918 --> 00:09:19,284 We're here at my launch party 256 00:09:19,353 --> 00:09:22,888 where I'm about to surprise my biggest fan. 257 00:09:22,957 --> 00:09:25,624 You ready to see someone's mind kim-plode? 258 00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:30,996 Hey, Lily. You having fun and stuff? 259 00:09:31,065 --> 00:09:32,831 - [Clapping] - Hey. 260 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:34,166 Lily, it's KimmyLoveandStuff. 261 00:09:34,235 --> 00:09:35,234 I know. I said "hey." 262 00:09:35,302 --> 00:09:36,535 You know what? I think she's in shock. 263 00:09:36,604 --> 00:09:38,303 Lily, why don't you tell her your favorite video. 264 00:09:38,405 --> 00:09:40,272 Mine was when you tackled racism 265 00:09:40,341 --> 00:09:42,174 - and gave yourself that cute fishtail braid. - [Chuckles] 266 00:09:42,276 --> 00:09:43,509 Uh-huh. And Lily. 267 00:09:43,611 --> 00:09:45,811 I don't watch them anymore. Sorry. Can we go? 268 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,412 Cut! Give me that! 269 00:09:47,515 --> 00:09:49,214 Lily? You're... You're being very rude. 270 00:09:49,283 --> 00:09:50,782 Extra rude! 271 00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,985 And who are you people and how did you get in here? 272 00:09:53,053 --> 00:09:56,054 - Both: Garth Brooks. - When I find out, heads will roll. 273 00:09:56,123 --> 00:09:58,624 - I'm so embarrassed. - Both: You're so embarrassed? 274 00:09:58,726 --> 00:10:01,126 You're so embarrassed? 275 00:10:01,195 --> 00:10:02,094 [Dogs barking] 276 00:10:02,162 --> 00:10:03,695 Okay. We're ready for Stella. 277 00:10:03,797 --> 00:10:05,297 Well, I'm not ready. 278 00:10:05,366 --> 00:10:07,232 - Jay, come on. - Ah. 279 00:10:07,334 --> 00:10:09,968 All right. Careful. 280 00:10:11,438 --> 00:10:14,740 Wait a second. I-I have to say something. 281 00:10:14,842 --> 00:10:17,209 Little girl, I know you're scared. 282 00:10:17,278 --> 00:10:19,545 Me too. But you're a fighter. 283 00:10:19,613 --> 00:10:22,214 "Don't worry, Daddy. I'll be fine." 284 00:10:22,283 --> 00:10:23,482 She doesn't sound like that. 285 00:10:23,551 --> 00:10:26,251 Sorry. She'll do great. 286 00:10:26,353 --> 00:10:29,021 What is going on with you? I've never seen you like this. 287 00:10:29,089 --> 00:10:30,255 I don't know. 288 00:10:31,483 --> 00:10:33,358 When I was 10, Dad came home with a rescue, 289 00:10:33,394 --> 00:10:35,427 and I was so damned excited. 290 00:10:35,496 --> 00:10:37,262 But the dog wanted nothing to do with me... 291 00:10:37,298 --> 00:10:40,465 Went straight to my sister and never left her side. 292 00:10:40,534 --> 00:10:44,136 Then years later, we got a puppy who went right to Dede, 293 00:10:44,238 --> 00:10:46,004 growled at me every time I went near her. 294 00:10:46,752 --> 00:10:50,809 But with Stella, I didn't even bother trying, and she chose me. 295 00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:53,745 Now I may never see her again. 296 00:10:53,847 --> 00:10:57,015 I-I-I can't sit here. I need to take a walk. 297 00:10:58,819 --> 00:11:00,686 What kind of surgery? 298 00:11:00,754 --> 00:11:02,621 They just have to fix her breathing. 299 00:11:02,690 --> 00:11:03,822 It's not a big deal. 300 00:11:03,891 --> 00:11:05,757 Hmm. Is that what they told you? 301 00:11:05,826 --> 00:11:07,626 I'd be careful if I were you. 302 00:11:07,728 --> 00:11:08,727 What do you mean? 303 00:11:08,829 --> 00:11:11,496 Men get crazy about their animals. 304 00:11:11,565 --> 00:11:15,200 My husband had this horrible cat with a big lump on its neck. 305 00:11:15,302 --> 00:11:17,970 It was benign, didn't bother my husband, 306 00:11:18,038 --> 00:11:19,738 but I couldn't stand looking at it. 307 00:11:19,807 --> 00:11:21,873 So one day, when my husband was at work, 308 00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:24,142 I brought the cat in here to have them take 309 00:11:24,211 --> 00:11:26,078 that thing off and... Kchhh. 310 00:11:26,180 --> 00:11:28,246 It died right on the table. 311 00:11:28,349 --> 00:11:30,616 Ay, no. Was your husband mad? 312 00:11:30,684 --> 00:11:33,285 Ex-husband, so yeah. 313 00:11:33,387 --> 00:11:36,622 Ay... Damn it. 314 00:11:36,690 --> 00:11:38,023 Hola. 315 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:39,658 Hello? 316 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:42,427 [Dogs barking] 317 00:11:42,529 --> 00:11:46,064 Well, all righty. I thought I was next. 318 00:11:46,133 --> 00:11:49,668 Well, that's the first time I've slow-cooked ribs for a showing. 319 00:11:49,737 --> 00:11:50,702 Mother's recipe. 320 00:11:50,804 --> 00:11:53,405 So, are you ready to make an offer? 321 00:11:53,507 --> 00:11:55,173 [Exhales deeply] 322 00:11:55,275 --> 00:11:56,475 I don't know, Phil. 323 00:11:56,577 --> 00:11:57,576 Don't know what, Pep? 324 00:11:57,678 --> 00:11:58,543 [Sighs] 325 00:11:58,646 --> 00:12:00,178 - I'm just not feeling it. - Oh. 326 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:03,148 - Maybe we should see some more houses? - No problemo. 327 00:12:03,250 --> 00:12:04,950 Um, did you want to look in another neighborhood 328 00:12:05,052 --> 00:12:07,486 or stay right here in Hell?! 329 00:12:07,588 --> 00:12:10,322 Aah! Oh! I beg your... 330 00:12:10,424 --> 00:12:14,159 No, I beg. For God's sakes, buy this house. 331 00:12:14,261 --> 00:12:17,229 I've worked harder for you than any client in my entire career. 332 00:12:17,331 --> 00:12:19,231 - [Cellphone ringing] - I don't know if you're indecisive, 333 00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:21,299 sadistic, or just plain crazy. 334 00:12:21,402 --> 00:12:22,300 Hey there, honey. 335 00:12:22,403 --> 00:12:23,535 You're still there, aren't you? 336 00:12:23,637 --> 00:12:25,704 He's just dotting the I's, crossing the T's. 337 00:12:25,806 --> 00:12:28,373 Yanking your chain. Dump him. 338 00:12:28,475 --> 00:12:29,875 Listen, Bill's about to be here any minute, 339 00:12:29,977 --> 00:12:31,977 and the situation has changed. 340 00:12:32,079 --> 00:12:32,978 [Engine starts] 341 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:33,979 Got to go. 342 00:12:34,081 --> 00:12:35,347 [Tires squeal] 343 00:12:35,449 --> 00:12:38,784 Get back here! I found you a bathroom with a koi pond! 344 00:12:41,758 --> 00:12:42,924 [Engine revs, horn honks] 345 00:12:43,858 --> 00:12:45,593 I have Stella! Get in! 346 00:12:49,199 --> 00:12:50,732 - [Engine revs] - Where is she? 347 00:12:50,834 --> 00:12:52,734 - She's in the back. - Is she okay? 348 00:12:52,769 --> 00:12:54,936 I busted her out. I can't make you do this. 349 00:12:55,005 --> 00:12:57,505 If something happens to her, you're never going to forgive me, 350 00:12:57,541 --> 00:12:59,140 and I don't want to lose you like that. 351 00:12:59,176 --> 00:13:01,543 Well, that's touching, but you just blew through a stop sign. 352 00:13:01,611 --> 00:13:03,945 She'd probably be safer at the vet. 353 00:13:04,014 --> 00:13:05,046 [Beep] [Ringing] 354 00:13:05,115 --> 00:13:07,382 Ronaldo. It's Phil Dunphy. 355 00:13:07,451 --> 00:13:08,516 Hello, Phil. 356 00:13:08,585 --> 00:13:10,452 I'm preparing a plate for a diva. 357 00:13:10,554 --> 00:13:11,719 Is everything okay? 358 00:13:11,788 --> 00:13:13,188 Uh, actually, no. 359 00:13:13,223 --> 00:13:14,956 I lost my temper with Pepper when he told me 360 00:13:15,025 --> 00:13:16,558 he wanted to see more houses, and I've been calling 361 00:13:16,626 --> 00:13:18,560 - to apologize, but... - He's not picking up. 362 00:13:18,662 --> 00:13:19,661 How did you know? 363 00:13:19,729 --> 00:13:20,762 It seemed the only possible conclusion 364 00:13:20,831 --> 00:13:22,230 - to your sentence. - Oh. 365 00:13:22,299 --> 00:13:25,333 Phil, do you know the reason I stopped house hunting with Pepper? 366 00:13:25,435 --> 00:13:27,435 Was it when that seller thought Pepper was your grandpa? 367 00:13:27,504 --> 00:13:29,370 He hasn't let me wear sunscreen since. 368 00:13:29,473 --> 00:13:32,740 No. I finally realized he wasn't going to buy a house. 369 00:13:32,776 --> 00:13:35,276 Are you kidding? I've wasted hundreds of hours. 370 00:13:35,312 --> 00:13:38,179 I postponed hernia surgery. Why would he do that to me? 371 00:13:38,281 --> 00:13:39,814 He likes you. 372 00:13:39,916 --> 00:13:41,449 Most straight guys find Pepper annoying, 373 00:13:41,518 --> 00:13:43,218 but you're always so nice with him. 374 00:13:43,286 --> 00:13:44,886 I think he's afraid if he buys a house, 375 00:13:44,921 --> 00:13:46,955 - he'll never see you again. - Really? 376 00:13:47,023 --> 00:13:49,023 Wow, it's so painful keeping everything inside. 377 00:13:49,092 --> 00:13:50,291 It's how he was raised. 378 00:13:50,393 --> 00:13:51,593 No, my truss isn't working. 379 00:13:51,661 --> 00:13:52,927 I've got to schedule that procedure. 380 00:13:52,963 --> 00:13:54,395 Do you know where Pepper is? 381 00:13:54,464 --> 00:13:56,664 He has a special place he goes when he's sad. 382 00:13:56,733 --> 00:13:57,732 It's pretty gay. 383 00:13:57,801 --> 00:13:59,701 Have you ever seen the movie "La La Land"? 384 00:13:59,769 --> 00:14:01,336 Of course. Wait, does he go to the bench 385 00:14:01,371 --> 00:14:03,238 overlooking the city where Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone 386 00:14:03,306 --> 00:14:04,339 tap danced into each other's hearts? 387 00:14:04,441 --> 00:14:06,941 - That's not so gay. - Okay. 388 00:14:07,010 --> 00:14:08,543 - [Car door closes] - No, no, no, no, no, no. 389 00:14:08,612 --> 00:14:10,345 Take those things off, please. 390 00:14:10,413 --> 00:14:13,381 We need to talk about whatever's going on with you right now. 391 00:14:13,483 --> 00:14:15,683 - I'm fine. - No, you're not fine. 392 00:14:15,752 --> 00:14:17,318 You're sullen and aloof and... 393 00:14:17,387 --> 00:14:19,554 and you embarrassed us in front of KimmyLoveandStu... 394 00:14:19,623 --> 00:14:20,722 I can't say it again. I can't. 395 00:14:20,790 --> 00:14:23,958 Okay, we gave you every tween girl's dream day, 396 00:14:24,027 --> 00:14:26,294 and... and you can barely crack a smile. 397 00:14:26,396 --> 00:14:28,930 It's not my dream day. It's yours. 398 00:14:28,965 --> 00:14:31,332 I'm not the same kind of tween girl you guys are. 399 00:14:31,434 --> 00:14:33,334 But we love all the same things. 400 00:14:33,436 --> 00:14:35,303 I've changed. I don't like Beyoncé. 401 00:14:35,372 --> 00:14:36,971 - [Both gasp] - You take that back! 402 00:14:37,007 --> 00:14:37,939 - Or Britney. - [Both gasp] 403 00:14:38,041 --> 00:14:39,340 - Or Gaga. - [Gasps] 404 00:14:39,409 --> 00:14:42,043 I only fake it 'cause you guys like that stuff. 405 00:14:42,145 --> 00:14:43,678 I'm different. 406 00:14:43,747 --> 00:14:45,480 Well, honey, is it... 407 00:14:45,549 --> 00:14:47,382 is that why you've been feeling so down, because you... 408 00:14:47,484 --> 00:14:48,917 you feel different than us? 409 00:14:48,952 --> 00:14:51,686 I don't know. I guess I feel different than a lot of people. 410 00:14:51,755 --> 00:14:55,690 Well, sweetie, that is one thing your dad and I can relate to. 411 00:14:55,759 --> 00:14:58,793 I guess, well, that's the great thing about having two gay dads. 412 00:14:58,828 --> 00:15:01,196 We... We know what it feels like to be an outsider. 413 00:15:01,264 --> 00:15:02,497 Okay, but here's what happens. 414 00:15:02,566 --> 00:15:05,400 You start finding people who don't quite fit in, 415 00:15:05,468 --> 00:15:08,236 and you start not fitting in together. 416 00:15:08,305 --> 00:15:11,206 We never want you to feel like you have to be someone else for us. 417 00:15:11,308 --> 00:15:13,007 - Never. - I mean... 418 00:15:13,076 --> 00:15:15,109 What is this music you're always listening to? 419 00:15:15,178 --> 00:15:16,211 - Come on. Let us in. - Yeah. 420 00:15:16,279 --> 00:15:17,812 Okay. I like this. 421 00:15:17,914 --> 00:15:19,147 - Okay. - Let's put it on, huh? 422 00:15:19,216 --> 00:15:20,815 - All right. Here we go. - [Beep] 423 00:15:20,850 --> 00:15:25,920 [Screaming] ♪ Where's your sanity? ♪ 424 00:15:26,022 --> 00:15:26,888 - Fun! - Yeah. 425 00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:29,057 Yeah, yeah, I like it. 426 00:15:29,092 --> 00:15:31,259 - She's gonna kill us someday. - Mm-hmm. 427 00:15:32,862 --> 00:15:34,929 Hey. I just want to say, I really appreciate 428 00:15:34,998 --> 00:15:37,198 you wanting to save Stella like that. 429 00:15:37,234 --> 00:15:39,267 Well, Stella is not the only one that choose you. 430 00:15:39,336 --> 00:15:43,037 I choose you every day, and I love her more than I show. 431 00:15:43,139 --> 00:15:44,172 [Barking] 432 00:15:44,241 --> 00:15:46,140 Okay, sweetheart. Let's get you inside. 433 00:15:46,209 --> 00:15:48,409 I'll throw on a couple of steaks for both of us. 434 00:15:48,511 --> 00:15:50,211 [Whines] 435 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,246 What the hell dog is this? 436 00:15:51,348 --> 00:15:53,481 - It's Stella. - No, it's not. 437 00:15:53,583 --> 00:15:55,783 Eight years, you don't recognize our dog? 438 00:15:55,885 --> 00:15:58,553 Well, 10 years, and you don't notice one haircut? 439 00:15:58,655 --> 00:15:59,921 [Panting] 440 00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:02,991 By the time we got through to the vet, the surgery was over. 441 00:16:03,059 --> 00:16:04,292 And Stella was fine. 442 00:16:04,361 --> 00:16:06,227 I just have to say Gloria really stepped up 443 00:16:06,296 --> 00:16:08,162 and nursed my baby back to health. 444 00:16:08,231 --> 00:16:10,265 Only one problem. 445 00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:11,899 Stella choose me now. 446 00:16:11,968 --> 00:16:14,002 It's not real. You give her pain meds. 447 00:16:14,070 --> 00:16:16,537 It's like she's sucking up to her dealer. 448 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,206 - [Doorbell rings] - Hi, Bill. 449 00:16:18,275 --> 00:16:19,340 - Hey. - Come on in. 450 00:16:19,409 --> 00:16:21,809 Thanks. Is, uh, Mr. Dunphy around, too? 451 00:16:21,845 --> 00:16:24,045 Uh, no, he's probably on his way back, 452 00:16:24,147 --> 00:16:25,713 and we should definitely wait for him. 453 00:16:25,782 --> 00:16:27,482 - [Chuckles] - Oh. I actually have to get to work pretty soon. 454 00:16:27,584 --> 00:16:29,150 Do you think maybe you could just speak for the both of you? 455 00:16:29,219 --> 00:16:32,053 Nope. [Chuckles] Phil is very opinionated. 456 00:16:32,155 --> 00:16:34,989 And strict. "What I say goes around here." 457 00:16:35,091 --> 00:16:37,058 He's a very scary customer. 458 00:16:37,127 --> 00:16:39,327 Okay. I don't really have a choice here. 459 00:16:39,396 --> 00:16:42,397 - Mm-hmm. - [Breathes deeply] 460 00:16:42,465 --> 00:16:44,332 Mr. and Mrs. Dunphy... 461 00:16:44,401 --> 00:16:47,235 would you be willing to take a chance on a guy like me 462 00:16:47,304 --> 00:16:49,704 - and let me... - Alex is too young to get married. 463 00:16:49,739 --> 00:16:51,939 I'm sorry. Phil, who is very quick to anger, 464 00:16:52,008 --> 00:16:53,074 would never allow it. 465 00:16:53,176 --> 00:16:55,176 Oh, I wasn't asking to marry Alex. 466 00:16:55,245 --> 00:16:57,045 [Breathing deeply] 467 00:16:57,113 --> 00:16:59,047 - What... What's happening? - [Belt jingles] 468 00:16:59,149 --> 00:17:00,948 And then it got weirder. 469 00:17:01,017 --> 00:17:02,550 - Ladies and gentlemen... - Hmm? 470 00:17:02,619 --> 00:17:05,186 ...I give you my new invention, 471 00:17:05,255 --> 00:17:08,723 the Pull-Yourself-Up- By-Your-Bootstraps-TM. 472 00:17:08,792 --> 00:17:10,391 How many times has this happened to you? 473 00:17:10,493 --> 00:17:12,026 You're in bed, asleep. 474 00:17:12,095 --> 00:17:13,494 All of a sudden... 475 00:17:13,530 --> 00:17:14,929 Oh, no. 476 00:17:15,031 --> 00:17:17,532 It's an earthquake. No time to get dressed. 477 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,935 I'm gonna have to run out into the street naked again. 478 00:17:21,037 --> 00:17:23,037 - Huh. - Unless... 479 00:17:23,139 --> 00:17:24,605 Oh. 480 00:17:27,377 --> 00:17:28,943 [Zipper closes] 481 00:17:29,012 --> 00:17:30,378 And I'm out the door in seconds. 482 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,347 - Oh, okay. - That's it? 483 00:17:32,415 --> 00:17:34,882 You didn't come to ask for my hand in marriage? 484 00:17:34,951 --> 00:17:36,617 Wh... Of course not. 485 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:37,585 What do you mean, "of course not"? 486 00:17:37,654 --> 00:17:38,720 What are we doing, Bill? 487 00:17:38,822 --> 00:17:39,821 Honey, take the win. 488 00:17:39,923 --> 00:17:41,456 Okay, first of all, 489 00:17:41,524 --> 00:17:43,725 you're a super smart, independent woman 490 00:17:43,793 --> 00:17:45,326 with an amazing future ahead of you. 491 00:17:45,462 --> 00:17:46,461 Why would you want to get married right now? 492 00:17:46,563 --> 00:17:47,595 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So, what were you doing 493 00:17:47,664 --> 00:17:48,896 in that jewelry store yesterday? 494 00:17:48,965 --> 00:17:50,865 I was getting a battery for my watch. 495 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:53,201 - How did you know I was in a jewelry store? - And what about that text you s... 496 00:17:53,303 --> 00:17:54,569 For what it's worth, 497 00:17:54,604 --> 00:17:56,804 if that's what I thought you wanted, I would propose today. 498 00:17:56,873 --> 00:17:59,374 - Hmm. - I'm pretty sure you're my forever someone. 499 00:17:59,476 --> 00:18:01,609 Really? 500 00:18:01,711 --> 00:18:03,611 Alexandra Dunphy... 501 00:18:03,713 --> 00:18:05,246 - would you... - Mom! 502 00:18:05,348 --> 00:18:07,382 Okay, everybody up. All right. 503 00:18:07,484 --> 00:18:09,283 - [Clears throat] - There we go. A lot of fires to put out. 504 00:18:09,386 --> 00:18:11,018 Next time, I'll get to the end. 505 00:18:11,087 --> 00:18:13,287 Next time, I might be ready. 506 00:18:13,356 --> 00:18:16,657 Ugh. Not a fan of liberated Alex. 507 00:18:18,461 --> 00:18:20,361 Ugh. 508 00:18:20,463 --> 00:18:23,765 [Insects chirping] 509 00:18:23,867 --> 00:18:25,933 Lovely night. 510 00:18:25,969 --> 00:18:27,502 What are you doing here? 511 00:18:27,570 --> 00:18:29,604 I called Ronaldo looking for you. 512 00:18:29,672 --> 00:18:31,005 [Sighs] 513 00:18:33,109 --> 00:18:34,976 I come to this place 514 00:18:35,044 --> 00:18:38,079 when life turns out not to be a musical. 515 00:18:38,114 --> 00:18:39,347 I'm up here a lot. 516 00:18:39,416 --> 00:18:41,282 I'm sorry I yelled at you. 517 00:18:41,351 --> 00:18:45,019 Well, Phil, you're not the first person to find me a tad trying. 518 00:18:45,121 --> 00:18:48,723 This may shock you, but I don't have many friends. 519 00:18:51,528 --> 00:18:53,428 Express some shock, Phil. 520 00:18:53,496 --> 00:18:55,363 But you have tons of friends. 521 00:18:55,465 --> 00:18:57,331 Mitch and Cam love you. 522 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,735 Yeah, they're okay in small doses. 523 00:19:00,837 --> 00:19:03,171 And a straight-guy friend, never. 524 00:19:03,273 --> 00:19:05,606 A lot of straight guys find me... 525 00:19:05,708 --> 00:19:07,408 - Annoying? - Intimidating. 526 00:19:07,477 --> 00:19:10,511 Wait for me to finish. This isn't Mad Libs. 527 00:19:10,580 --> 00:19:12,914 Don't you believe that I like you, though, Pepper? 528 00:19:13,016 --> 00:19:18,953 I want to, but maybe I'm just a big, fat mother's purse to you. 529 00:19:19,022 --> 00:19:20,755 I'm your friend, Pepper. 530 00:19:20,824 --> 00:19:22,190 [Gasps] What are you doing? 531 00:19:22,292 --> 00:19:24,826 This is a yellow suit! 532 00:19:24,894 --> 00:19:26,294 ♪ Till the end, Pepper ♪ 533 00:19:26,396 --> 00:19:28,229 You're making a scene! 534 00:19:28,331 --> 00:19:30,565 ♪ I know that old line ♪ 535 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:35,436 ♪ But as soon as I sign, he'll toss me aside like ♪ 536 00:19:35,505 --> 00:19:37,538 ♪ Yesterday's wine ♪ 537 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,475 ♪ My heart's on my sleeve ♪ 538 00:19:40,577 --> 00:19:43,244 ♪ I want to believe ♪ 539 00:19:43,346 --> 00:19:45,079 This is weird. We're people! 540 00:19:45,148 --> 00:19:46,180 - Look. - [Sighs] 541 00:19:46,249 --> 00:19:47,648 The only way you're ever gonna find out 542 00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:49,750 if we're friends is if you buy that house 543 00:19:49,853 --> 00:19:51,252 and see if I stick around. 544 00:19:51,321 --> 00:19:54,655 Seems like an expensive experiment. 545 00:19:54,757 --> 00:19:57,792 Sign the offer... if you love the house. 546 00:19:57,861 --> 00:19:59,293 - [Sighs] - Either that or fire me. 547 00:19:59,329 --> 00:20:02,029 It's the only way you're gonna know. 548 00:20:02,131 --> 00:20:03,164 [Sighs] 549 00:20:03,266 --> 00:20:05,266 [Insects chirping] 550 00:20:07,770 --> 00:20:09,170 - My heart is in your... - I'll see you. 551 00:20:09,272 --> 00:20:11,038 I knew it. Assassin! 552 00:20:11,107 --> 00:20:13,007 [Laughing] I'm messing with you. 553 00:20:13,109 --> 00:20:15,009 That's what I do with my friends. 554 00:20:15,111 --> 00:20:18,012 [Laughing] Oh. I see. Delightful. 555 00:20:18,114 --> 00:20:20,515 I'm new at straight chummery. 556 00:20:20,617 --> 00:20:25,186 ♪ 557 00:20:25,288 --> 00:20:28,856 Stop checking your watch, Phil. 558 00:20:31,059 --> 00:20:34,578 [Snores] Oh, no! 559 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,247 It's the big one! 560 00:20:36,349 --> 00:20:38,582 And I'm not dressed! 561 00:20:38,684 --> 00:20:40,918 Grab the earthquake kit! 562 00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:44,455 Everybody, get under a table! 563 00:20:45,147 --> 00:20:48,192 There's cash in the freezer! 564 00:20:48,294 --> 00:20:49,492 [Zipper closes] 565 00:20:50,830 --> 00:20:54,010 Honey, we got to get in on this. 566 00:20:54,050 --> 00:20:56,320 Ah. My high-school boyfriend could have used that. 567 00:20:57,342 --> 00:20:58,620 You ruined it. 568 00:21:00,687 --> 00:21:02,769 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 42504

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