All language subtitles for Malcolm s07e05 Jessica Stays Over.eng

Give me the candy bar.

You heard me, Jamie. Give it.

Where is it?

Where'd it go?

Wow, I was five before
I got Reese to fall for that.

Malcolm in the Middle
7.05 - "Jessica Stays Over"

Synchronisation par Max & Tyno,
Script original par Raceman.

Forom.com, Life-is-Unfair.tk
& Malcolm-France.com

Sorry.

I didn't... Sorry.

It's no big deal, Malcolm. You know,
one day you will be old enough to shave.

-Go.
-Oh...

Yeah, okay.

That's Jessica, our neighbor.

Mom and Dad are letting her
sleep on our couch for a week until her father's arraigned.

Seems he got drunk Friday night, decided
to track down her mom and tried to drive a street-sweeper to Mexico.

She has some family issues.

Malcolm, Reese,
Jessica, let's go.

-What are you doing?
-Are you kidding?

No way I'm letting Jessica
get a look at the goods.

What is taking
you boys so long?

Tell Sasquatch in there to give
us a shot at the bathroom.

Hey, Mom, can I borrow your car
tonight? Frank Miller's signing his new graphic novel...

You're going to drive it the way
you threw your pants in a wad behind the hamper yesterday?

I don't think so.

What?

How does her mind even
form thoughts like that?

Is that a bee?

That is how you
know it's fresh.

You won't find any bees in
your store-bought honey, I'll tell you that much.

-Where did this come from?
-Spoils of war, Dewey.

You know that beehive in the toolshed
I've been battling for months?

Victory is mine.

You did it yourself?

How'd you know how to do that?

It's instinctual.

See, human beings were born with
everything they need to destroy bees.

Except the poison,
you have to buy that.

I feel kind of sorry
for the bees, though.

It's survival of
the fittest, Dewey.

If they had won, they'd be
spreading us on toast right now.

Big deal.

So I don't get the car to
go to the book signing.

Meeting your heroes is always
such a disappointment, anyway.

Hi, Malcolm.

You got the car?

How'd you get the car?

I just had a little shopping to do,
and your mom insisted I take the car.

What do you mean she insisted?

I've been begging her for weeks.
Every time I ask, she says no.

That's where you
made your mistake.

I just got all vulnerable and
poured on stuff about my dad.

It was easy.

No way.

Look, Malcolm, it's not something
I'm proud of, believe me.

It's how I've learned to
survive in my twisted family.

They're like a total cesspool of
manipulation and emotional blackmail.

Everyone screwing
everyone over.

I don't even know a true, honest
way to connect with people anymore.

It's sick.

I'm sick!

Jessica, wait.

I'm sorry.

Ah, thanks for carrying
my bags for me, Malcolm.

Told you it was easy.

You can bite my American ass, Zhao Lee.

What's that?

The school made us adopt pen
pals from different countries.

I got stuck with this
loser from China.

-What's wrong with China?
-It's not what you think, Dewey.

He won't send you illegal fireworks
or get your nunchucks autographed by the emperor.

The guy's a total jerk.

It started off with a simple request
to apologize for Pearl Harbor.

The guy wouldn't do it.

He's so arrogant.
When I draw squiggles, it's nonsense.

When he does it,
it's a language.

I was so pissed.

But then I thought, be the better man,
and reason with the guy.

"Do you want me to
kick your butt?

Check yes or no."

And there's his response. He couldn't
even follow simple instructions.

"You need help, Reese."

He thinks a whole planet between
us is going to protect him.

He thinks he's so smart.

We'll see who's smart when I mail myself
to China and kick him upside-down ass.

What?

Reese, that's crazy.

Name one thing that's crazy about it.

You're right. I take it back.

I can't wait to see his face when
he opens up his mail and I pop out.

And how are you supposed to
get back after you beat him up?

Dewey, you know nothing
about Asian culture.

After I humiliate him, I earn
his respect, plus half his land and his sister, if she's hot.

All I got to do is stay off of Mom's
radar for the next three days.

You call this clean?

I have to say, Mom, if you're just
going to phone it in, why even bother?

You just bought yourself two
days grounded in your room.

Fine.

Maybe you can use that time
to learn how to roll socks.

Make it three days.
You want to try for more?

Nope. Three's perfect.

Hey, survivor, huh?

I guess you weren't around when
Uncle Hal came a-knockin'.

Oh, all right, all right.
Let it go.

War's over.

All right, knock it off!

I mean it!

Back off!

I'm warning you!

Your friends died like cowards.

What's wrong with you?

Nothing. I'm fine.

Aw, this crisper is disgusting.
It's like vegetable soup in there.

Malcolm, get a sponge
and clean it out.

Okay.

You're not going to fight me
or try to weasel out of it?

All right, what's wrong?

Nothing. It's just...

-There's this math test coming
up, and... I don't know... -Malcolm, stop.

You're going to ace it
like you always do.

That's just the point. You totally
expect me to get a hundred.

My teacher expects me to get a hundred.
Everyone expects me to get a hundred.

Do ynow what it's like every time
you do anything in school to have everyone expect you to be perfect?

Do you have any idea what kind
of pressure that puts on you?

It was so easy.

I started with this load of crap about
my math test and then the rest just came pouring out of me so naturally.

Before I knew it she was telling
me to take the car and go and have fun with my friends.

She even gave me money for gas.

Nice.

Is that a tear?

No.

Six boxes of cereal, two gallons of
milk, eight peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, adult diapers and Madlibs.

You thought of everything.

And I also packed some barbells so
I can get there in fighting shape.

-They look like soup cans.
-You noticed.

See, there's a lot of
things that serve two purs.

Like my pillow.

It's stuffed with M&M's so I can sleep
and snack from the same source.

It's the same way NASA designed
the old space capsules.

The very same.

And you'll be ready with the
tapes to cover with Mom, right?

-Yeah.
-All right, let's get moving.

I want to be at the post
office for the 4:00 pick-up.

Should I get you
stamped "fragile"?

What's that supposed to mean?

And the journey begins.

Malcolm, you wouldn't happen to know
the life expectancy of a bee, would you?

-I don't know.
-Great.

What's the point of hauling around
that giant head of yours if you can't retain a few simple facts?

Hal, he gets enough pressure from
school without his family piling on.

Did Mom just defend me?

Wow, this vulnerability crap is
more effective than I thought.

Reese's eggs are stone cold.

Dewey, you can bring
them to him now.

It's about time, butt-munch.

She actually expects
me to eat this slop?

Hal... what are you
doing home? It's 10:15.

It's that bee, Lois.

He attacked me again
on my way to the car.

I barely made it back in here.

The damn thing won't
leave me alone.

-He's on some crazy vendetta.
-Hal!

Okay, maybe it's not that
crazy when you think about it.

I mean, I did kill all his family
and friends and basically destroyed his whole world.

That's got to come as a blow.

Hal, you have got to go to work.

I know, you're right.

This is absurd.

Okay.

Here's the plan, Lois.

I am going to move very casually
toward the back door and draw his attention over there.

Once he's diverted, you run
lickety-split to my car and drive it right up here to the side doors.

Honk the horn. Two short beeps,
then one long. I'll count to three we'll open the doors simultaneously.

You've got to be kidding me.

Hey, I am not going to
let some bee run my life.

-Where are you going?
-Rick Kessler's party.

How you getting there?

I'm going to tell my mom how
I can't beat people's expectations on my science test.

Are you a complete moron?

What?

Amateurs.

You are not trying to
manipulate a guy here, Malcolm.

-You have to use your brain.
-But it worked great last time.

Which is why you can never use it again.
Especially with your mom's radar.

Come on, sit down,
listen to me.

You got lucky the first time.

But if you want to pull this off,
getting the car two nights in a row, you have to be very, very good.

-Why can't I just...
-Hey!

Do you want to ride Jamie's
Big Wheel to the party?

I am telling you, you have to share some
real fear or feeling of inadequacy.

If you are not totally honest,
she will see right through your scam.

Okay.

So, like what?

Well, I don't know.
What do you got?

Well, I, uh...

Come on, Malcolm, your biggest
problem is choosing one.

Okay, well, I'm not that tall.

-That's what you're going with?
-I don't know. This is hard.

We'll go down the list and see which one
makes you feel the most uncomfortable.

We've established
that you're short.

Yeah.

And pretty scrawny.

Yeah.

And completely self-absorbed.

Yeah.

With huge mother issues.

Yeah.

You don't really put
out a sexual vibe.

-Hey!
-Bingo.

It was amazing.
We've never really talked like that.

She said she felt like a
total outcast in high school.

She told me all this stuff.

Like really personal stuff,
but it didn't feel creepy like your mom's telling you stuff.

It was more like
we were equals.

It was great.

Good work.

Did you get the car?

What?

Oh, yeah.

You know, I think
I'm going to skip the party.

-You're kidding.
-Yeah, I don't know, I just...

I don't really feel
like going out.

You know what?

I think I'm going to stay
home and start a journal.

Stupid jet engine.

Why don't you learn how
to fly this stupid thing?!

Oh, sure, I feel lonely.

Sometimes even with my family all
around me, I feel like there's this...

I don't know, this-this gulf between
us that I can't get across and maybe don't even want to.

-Does that sound awful?
-No, no. I know exactly what you're talking about.

There's this deep chasm of loneliness,
but the weird thing is, it's...

it's not all that horrible.

It's almost like this...

-This...
-Sweet pain?

Oh, my God.

I thought I was the only
one who felt that way.

Well, it's not something
I really talk about. I can't believe I'm even telling you.

Don't worry, Mom. I...
I understand. I really do.

Oh, look at the time. Malcolm,
we've gabbed the whole morning away. I got to get dressed for work.

Go ahead. I'll finish the dishes.

I'm gonna take you up on that.

That was genius.

Jessica?

-You were there the whole time?
-Seriously, that was awesome.

What are you going for?

What? Nothing.

Malcolm, it's me.

What are you after? I mean
you've got her opening up to you. Forget about the car.

With that level of intimacy,
I'd shoot for a laptop.

We were just talking
about things we felt.

Wow, Malcolm, that's really...

-Pathetic.
-Shut up.

Listen, Monday I need you to get
your mom out of the house for a couple of hours after school.

Take her to a chick
flick or something.

You should enjoy that.

What for?

My boyfriend's coming over, and
I'd like to have the house to ourselves, if you know what I mean.

What?!

Oh, good, you do
know what I mean.

I wasn't sure with that whole
chasm of loneliness crap.

You can't hook up in my house.

-I've never hooked up in my house.
-Okay, Malcolm, it's your decision.

Just a little worried how your
mom might react when she finds out

that the only reason you've been
opening up to her is to get her car.

That's not even true anymore.

Anyway, you'd look just as bad.

Malcolm, my dad's in jail,
and I live on a couch.

Looking bad isn't really
a big motivator for me.

Now, you owe me.

You'd really do it,
wouldn't you?

Knowing me...

Yeah.

Fine, but I can't believe
you're being like this.

I thought you were helping me
because you were my friend.

Yeah, Malcolm?

Save the girl talk
for your mom.

"Day 23.

"I'm out of food, "but I've never
felt so focused and alive.

I see everything now
with crystal clarity that..."

"Day 24.

"I must be
getting close.

I can smell the docks."

I know Mommy wanted us
to go to the park.

But why go outside where bad
things want to hurt Daddy,

when we can have just as much fun
inside the house, right, Jamie?

How about a nice shaving
cream beard, huh?

I did one last week at work,
and everyone loved it.

Don't worry, Jamie,
it's me he's after, not you.

Stop looking
at me, Dewey.

I'm not looking at you.

Don't touch me.

-I'm not touching you.
-You're practically touching me.

-Shut up.
-You shut up.

-Why don't you?
-Why don't you make me?

-Why don't you make me?
-Maybe I will.

He thinks he's on his way to
China, and you've just been torturing him in that box?!

Yeah.

Can he breathe in there?

He's still making noises.

And he's got food and water?

Yeah.

All right.

Honestly, Hal, I haven't felt this close
to Malcolm since he was four years old.

Did I tell you he's taking
me to a movie tomorrow?

I can't believe it.

I mean, put out there, yon't know
whether it'll ever come back to you.

And then, when it does,
it's wonderful.

It's worth all the crap
you have to put up with.

Our boy is growing up, Lois.

-I'm very proud of both of you.
-Thanks, honey.

-Can you turn off the smoke now?
-In a minute.

-How long do we have the place?
-At least two hours.

So, what do you want to do?

-Jessica, I have to talk to you.
-Malcolm, what are you doing here?

-Where's Lois?
-Still at the movies.

I told her everything.

I couldn't hold
it back from her.

We where in the lobby, and
I saw something that reminded me of how much she really loves me.

This mom was holding up her
son so he could get a drink of water, and I thought,

"What kind of Mom lets their kid
drink from a public king fountain?"

She would have yelled at me about all the
germs, and I thought about how much she really cares about me, and I couldn't hold it back.

-Malcolm, we'll talk
about this later. -It was horrible.

I tried to explain that
getting close to her started off as a way to use her, but...

It turned into something real.

But she didn't care.

She was just too hurt.

She said she didn't want
to look at me anymore.

And then she walked right
out of Autumn Encounter and straight into Body Count III.

It's too bad, because Autumn
Encounter looked really good.

Can make myself a sandwich?

Wait. Mike,
this won't take long.

My mom used to make
me sandwiches.

Now she'll never make
me sandwiches again.

Malcolm pull yourself together!

This is kind of weird.

Wait. Wait, Mike. Mike?

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Mike, Jessica's friend.

Dewey.

Mind if I make
myself a sandwich?

I don't care.

Wait, can you do
me a favor first?

There's this crate in the
garage I can't get open.

-You look really strong.
-Sure.

I bet you weren't
expecting this, Zhao!

Now you're gonna experience a
good old American ass-whuppin'.

Hey, quit it!

I don't speak Chinese, jackass.

All right.

You!

Okay, let's... stay calm.

Let's not do anything stupid.

Eat wind, honey sucker!

This. Ends. Now.

Is everything okay?

Everything is just fine.

Who's the idiot now?

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