All language subtitles for Malcolm s07e02 Health Insurance.eng

-Eat faster!
-Don't chew it. Just swallow it!

Nothing.

Granted, this isn't scientific, but
the fact that Reese can't get brain freeze has to prove something.

Wait.

I'm feeling
something in my toes.

Malcolm in the Middle
7.02 - "Health Insurance"

Synchronisation par Max & Tyno,
Script original par Raceman.

Forom.com, Life-is-Unfair.tk
& Malcolm-France.com

-We did it! We finally got back
at Tim Schwab and his brother. -What'd you do?

We found a dead octopus in a
dumpster at the seafood store.

We shoved its mouth full of
medical waste and put it in the Schwabs' air conditioner.

That'll teach them to
say we're obnoxious.

Why didn't you let me help?

It couldn't wait, Dewey.

With a dead octopus, there's a very
small window before it starts smelling like just another dead fish.

Reese, your hands still stink.

Yeah...

Like victory.

We can't take a walk without
our jackets anymore, Jamie.

It's the first cool day of fall.

Fall reminds adults about our mortality,
but for you, it's just pretty leaves.

Hmm. What's this?

You're telling me my family's
hasn't had health insurance for the last six months?!

Yes, I know you
never got the check!

There must be some
sort of grace period.

And when those two months are over,
what's the grace period on that?

No, no, you can't wait until
Monday to reinstate us.

We can't go through the whole
weekend without health insurance.

Listen, listen, I am speaking to you
from a house full of walking time bombs.

Well, then you're just a bunch
of lousy, heartless bastards!

-Who you talking to?
-March of Dimes.

I've got to go to work early.
Hattie's called another secret meeting about the union.

-Uh-uh.
-Goodbye.

Bye, hon.

Listen, Jim.

Can I call you Jim?

Oh, okay, Steven.

Let me level with you.

Six months ago my wife asked
me to do one thing. One.

I was supposed to
mail your check.

The woman relies on
the fact that I can be

occasionally trusted to perform
very simple menial tasks.

Now, if you don't start my insurance,
and if anything happens to anyone in this family,

I am gonna have to explain to her
that her entire life is built on a lie!

Well, I just hope that when your
marriage blows up in your face, I'm there to see it!

Okay, Jamie, for the next two
days there's no getting sick. There's no getting owies.

All of the safety rules your mother
and I told you about, well, starting today, we mean them.

Hi, I'm Connie Guzman, Teddy's mother.

I guess our little guys are gonna
have a play date this morning.

Oh, right.

I'm, I'm Hal.

I was so relieved we could
schedule something today.

I've got a killer day ahead.

What was that?

It was just his allergies.

Allergies?

Or disease?

There are a lot of
viruses going around.

Some of these kids are
nothing but walking germ bags.

He seems a little unresponsive.

Is Jamie's mother home?

Boy, I do not like the
way this gland feels.

What did his poop look
like this morning?

Mommy...

You know, I'm not sure Teddy's
up for a play date today.

-Oh, Jamie will be so disappointed.
-Come on, Teddy.

-You're going to Mommy's job interview.
-We'll do it again some other time.

Just make sure you bring
a note from his doctor.

What are you doing?!
This is not a toy!

I didn't think I was cutting
my bagel with a toy.

This is plenty sharp.

Wait!

Here.

And use the handle.

I'm living in a death house.

And that's why I propose we affiliate
ourselves with the Teamsters.

They can deliver a benefits
package that's quite substantial.

It's all spelled out
in this literature.

Well, I think this
is a bad idea.

Bad, bad, bad!

Craig, it can't hurt
to just listen.

When Mr. Cochran finds out we're
talking union, we'll lose all our perks.

What perks?

We get to wear the
smocks on our days off.

And they're talking about fixing
the hand dryer in the men's room.

I just want to thank Hattie
for organizing this meeting.

I think it's about time the people
who really do the work around here start standing up for ourselves.

I for one, am sick of no
overtime, no job security...

Excuse me, Joe, I just want to
say that Mr. Cochran makes a lot more money than us.

And I strongly feel that on that
basis alone, he should be trusted.

Oh, for God's sake, Craig.

You know what
really bothers me?

When I see Mr. Cochran parking
his car out front every morning and we've got to park nine blocks away.

-They let us use the shuttle
to get to our cars. -That's the city bus, Craig.

I appreciate all the anger that's in
this room, and God knows I'm not one

to shy away from a fight, but I suggest
that instead of starting a union,

we form a special committee to
maybe paint Mr. Cochran's house so he'll want to be nice to us.

Sit down and shut up, Feldspar.

You know what?

I've worked here for
almost ten years.

I have never felt we needed a union,
but when I think about what this place has done to some of us,

how it's made us so afraid to even voice
our opinions, then I think maybe we do.

Okay, but let the record show
that I advocated a policy of cowardice and appeasement.

Oh. Come here.

Hi.

Okay.

Hattie's still holding these secret
union meetings during our breaks.

It's so complicated.

We would have to pay dues,
but we'd save on health insurance.

Oh, really? How fast would
we get health insurance?

Hattie thinks we can start serious
talks with the Teamsters next month.

Oh, who cares?

Boys, breakfast.

Hal, where are all the forks?

Oh, uh, they were all bent out of
shape so I sent them out to that guy who fixes them.

The "fork straightener"?

It's the man's work, Lois.
I don't think we should make fun.

Hal, how are the boys gonna eat
scrambled eggs without forks?

I have to go.

Honey, you know
what's a great look?

I saw this gal the other day, had a bike
helmet, and I thought, "Why the heck can't women look this good all the time?"

Oh, baby.

Hal, you're messing up my hair.

Okay, look, just buckle
up and drive slowly.

Get there late, but get there!

Let this be a lesson
to every one of you.

-What's going on with Hattie?
-Cochran fired her this morning.

He said it was for dressing
provocatively, but he obviously found out

that she's been calling
the union meetings.

That's horrible.

Somebody around here's
been snitching to Cochran.

Craig, is there something
you want to tell me?

No, no, not really.

Why won't you look
me in the eye?

Why won't you look
me in the eye?

I can play this game as
long as you can, Lois.

I'll be watching you, Craig.

Nice cover.

Oh, my God!

What is it?

The Schwabs sent out a mass
e-mail to everyone at school.

They Photoshopped our
heads onto a dirty movie.

Gross!

That can't be a dirty movie.
There aren't any girls in it.

Oh, my God!

I'm not homophobic.

If the three of us were gay
lovers, I'd be fine with this.

But it's not true!

This is so humiliating.

My abs are way more
ripped than that guy's.

We've got to respond.

Well, I was saving this one to what
grade Mr. Watts was going to give me,

but we can climb up on their roof and
drop a wasp nest down their chimney.

I have one ready.

I've been teasing the for
months to keep them angry.

Perfect.

What does it take to
keep you boys safe?

Dad, you don't know
what the Schwabs did.

I don't care what they did!

What is the matter
with you boys?

Don't you realize you
could get killed?!

Dad, I'm not going to die.

-What?
-I'm 17.

And so you can't die?

I just don't see it happening.

I've got news for you, Reese.
17-year-olds die all the time.

Oh, come on, Dad.

That's just something they tell
you so you'll stay off drugs.

That's it!

You're all grounded in your
room for the rest of weekend!

You can't do that!

I know I'm gonna die, Dad.

Nobody is dying in this family until
the start of business Monday morning!

Okay, should there be an actual fire,
I think we'll be in pretty good shape.

Did you hear?

We did a little investigating.

We found out who
Cochran's snitch is.

-Oh, no...
-It's Joe.

Joe?

-What about Craig?
-What about Craig?

Uh, does Craig know
that it's Joe?

Everybody knows.

Cochran just promoted Joe to manager.
We're going to go congratulate him.

Can you hand me some soap?

Sure.

Wow, I had it completely wrong.

Did you get any information
I asked for, Felspar.

Yes, sir. Lois almost caught me, but
I can assure you our secret is safe.

Good, good, excellent.
Now you've gotta tell me everything.

Of course, sir.

I'll need a complete
list of names thise.

They're all here.

Just please, sir,
make sure this stays quiet.

Don't worry about it.

Thank you, Mr. Cochran.

Looks and brains, you're
the complete package, sir!

What the hell are you doing
talking with Mr Cochran, Craig.

Okay, Lois. If you can tell me what
you think you saw, that would really help me focus my answer.

You grabbed hair! You grabbed hair!

Craig, I heard you talking
about a list of names.

Oh, that. Um.

We were just rating all
the hottie in the store.

Don't worry. You're holding your
own in both posture and dimples.

-You expect me to fall for that?
-I'd appreciated.

Craig how could you?

Get away from me, you animals!

Oh, my God. Joe.

Stop!

Stay out of this, Lois.
This is retail justice.

Pull it off.

But you're making a mistake.
Joe isn't the snitch!

What?!

The real snitch just
confessed to me.

-Who is it?
-I'm not going to tell you. I don't want you hurting him.

-He's a misguided, weak,
pathetic individual who... -It's Craig!

Wait!

Dad, why are you doing this?

We're gonna call child welfare,
and this time they'll come.

Please don't do this, Dad!
It's just not necessary.

There. Now we can finally have a
nice safe week-end around here.

Let's do it.

I told you this was worth spending
Christmas vacation at Home Depot.

Wait. Dad's gonna kill us
when he realizes we're gone.

Maybe we can just pretend
we're too secure to care what the Schwabs think of us.

Nobody's gonna buy that.

We can't let this stand, Dewey.

Remember the day everybody started
calling Booger Boy "Booger Boy" and he didn't do anything about it?

-What is his real name anyway?
-Nobody remembers.

I'm in.

-Dad's under there!
-Oh, my God you're right!

-Let's go!
-No, no, no.

-You boys are in so much trouble.
-I'm calling Mom.

Dad, are you okay?

I can't feel anything
below my left knee.

Is my foot okay?

Your foot looks fine.

But I think the rest of you
is facing the wrong way.

I can't find him anywhere.
Have you seen Craig?

No.

So now on Lois, I'm off to the head
office. A place we're washing your hands

after using the restroom is a matter of personal choice.
-Good-bye, Joe.

-By the way, what did Cochran
give you to cover for me? -What?

You know, for throwing Craig under
the truck. Taking the heat off me.

-You really are Cochran's snitch?
-No, I'm getting kickedtairs because of my skills and motivation.

But that's impossible. I saw Craig
handing Cochran a list of names.

What?

Oh, those were probably names
for that stupid surprise party he's throwing for you.

What are you talking about?

Craig wanted make a big deal of your
tenth anniversary of working here.

I told him would just depress
you, but know Craig.

Cleanup in the storeroom.

Oh, my God.

Craig!

I'm so sorry.

Why didn't you tell me
you were playing a party?

You know ?

-Oh Lord, this day just
keep getting worse. -Oh, Craig, this is all my fault.

I just feel awful about this.
I'll do whatever it take to make this up to you. I'll even...

Oh, hold on a second.

Allo?

Mom, it's an emergency. You've go to
home quick. Something horrible happened.

Allo? Dewey? Dewey!

Lois, if you could just get the ropes.
My hands are wet, I think wrists are bleeding.

I'll be right back.

Party starts at 5:00.

See? Better than you.

-That's not going to work, Dad.
-We really have to get to the hospital.

I can't go to the hospital!

Nobody in this family can go to the
hospital. We've got no insurance.

Why do you think I've been so
concerned about your safety?

Dad, it's not the
end of the world.

Of course it is.
Your mother will never forgive me.

This is worse than the time
I left Dewey in Mexico.

This is unforgivable.

I'm unforgivable.

Whoa. I didn't think Dad would
get this pathetic 'till we locked him in a nursing home.

This family deserves
better than me.

Your mother's home, boys.

Help me up.

I raced home!

What is it?

-Honey there's something you should know.
-Nine minutes and 23 seconds. I win.

What are you talking about?

We made a bet to see how quickly
you could get here if you thought there was an emergency.

You don't win.
Reese said ten minutes.

But you're not allowed to go over.

You can't decide that now.
That's cheating!

You did what?!

I don't blame you
for being mad, Mom.

Reese underestimates
you all the time.

This is just a game?!

You made me race across town
thinking one of you was dying and it's just a game?!

We got bored.
There's not much to do around here.

Yeah, maybe if you took us
on a trip once in a while...

Hal, do you hear this?

I'm on it, Lois.

I can't believe that...

Hal, are you crying?

With rage!

You know how mad I get when
these boys pull stunts like this.

There's something
fishy about this.

Fishy is a nice way
to put it, Lois.

They are gonna get the
grounding of their life.

They are gonna feel the
full brunt of my wrath.

Oh, I've been wrong about so much
lately I don't even trust my own radar.

I got to get back to work.

You start the punishment,
Hal, but leave some for me.

Drive safely.

It's gonna be okay, Dad.

It's a very special moment
when a father watches his boys lie to their mother for him.

There's only one thing that
could make this moment prouder.

If one of you could saw off my leg.

Don't worry, Dad.

We'll get your knee taken care of.

I told you. We have no medical
insurance. There's no way.

Dad.

This is what we do.

Happy anniversary, Lois.

I chewed through my ropes so
I could have this set up for you when you got back.

Oh, Craig.

I invited the entire staff,
but I guess they didn't show up,

on account of seeing
me as human garbage.

I wish you'd be mad at me.

Yell at me, tell me I'm a
horrible person. Please.

Don't apologize, Lois.

If you want to make me happy,
just sit down and enjoy your party.

Hello, everybody.

Here's one I'm sure
you'll all remember.

Here she comes now,
our Lois, Lois.

Struttin' down the aisle
like she doesn't know us.

Hey, she wears a smock and
she looks all right, yeah.

You gotta scan and stock
and mark the cat chow...

Meow, meow, meow, meow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Yeah.

'Cause she's been here ten...

...Years.

Through the laughs,
through the tears.

Punchin' in. Punchin' out.

'Cept that time she had gout.

I say yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Yeah.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Yeah, the knee's dislocated.

So what are you?
Some kind of prodigy genius doctor?

No, my dad's a
really bad doctor.

He lets me use his stuff.

-You know, boys. I'm not
sure we need Richard. -He does great work, Dad.

He set my nose three times.

He gave me a tracheotomy
with a crazy straw.

What kind of anesthetic do you use?

Well, in a case like this, you're gonna
need about eight c.c.'s of... Grab him!

No!

Hey, look at that.

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