All language subtitles for MSW s06e05 Jack and Bill.eng

All I want is an x-ray.

And what else,
a wash and a set?

This is not a police dog.

(SCREAMING)

FEMALE NARRATOR:
Tonight on Murder, She Wrote.

LOU: Hey,
get somebody in here!

You trying to tell me
Johnny Wheeler was into something crooked?

And it wasn't just
the cookie jar.

I'm getting
just a little tired of eating in dingy dives

that smell like locker rooms.

Oh, come on, honey.

The dog's been sick.
One little nip and...

But you go ahead.
I mean, what the hell?

How bad can
one little nip be?

Hold it, fella!

I haven't got time
to hold it.

(RINGING)

(BARKING)

Hello. Welcome again
to Cabot Cove.

You know,
seeing that little dog reminded me

that I owe a letter
to a very dear friend, Bill Boyle.

I'm sure you know him.

He used to play linebacker
for one of those teams

in the "black and blue
division" of the NFL.

For 35 years, football was all
that Bill knew,

and he did it very well
until his knees let him down.

Then, like so many
talented athletes,

he found himself jobless

and with very
limited prospects.

I'm not sure how he fell into
the private eye business,

but the truth is,

despite the $800 suits
and the facade of success,

Bill wasn't
all that good at it.

Of course, that was
before he met Jack.

Now, Jack was...

But I'm getting ahead
of myself.

JESSICA: The relationship
between Jack and Bill started

when a man
named Johnny Wheeler arrived in Los Angeles.

Now, neither Johnny
nor the dog that he kept by his side

were exactly
what they seemed to be.

(GROWLING)

(BARKING)

These guys are weird.

Hey, excuse me.

Hey, you guys better
check the john.

There's a couple of guys
in there, and I think something funny's going on.

HASTINGS: Oh, dear.

"Oh, dear." What kind
of thing is that to say?

What do you mean,
"Oh, dear"?

Mr. Boyle, please,
one moment.

Well, Mr. Boyle,
I've got some good news and some bad news.

First, the good news.

This year, you will not be
required to pay either federal or state income tax.

Yeah? That's terrific.

Bad news is that
you could be picked up and jailed at any time

on account of vagrancy.

A little CPA humor there,
Mr. Boyle.

The fact is, you're broke.

Of course,
no one would suspect it from your surroundings,

but if it weren't
for your NFL pension,

you'd be on food stamps.

Yeah, well, why don't we just
keep that between you and me?

And
the Heartline Finance Company

and the Mr. Big Guy
Clothing Store.

Okay, okay, so I'm broke.
This is an up-and-down business.

The "up" part, you heard
about that from friends?

So I'm a little
down on my luck.

Mr. Boyle, I agreed to handle
your books in return for occasional football tickets

because of my great admiration
for you as a former player.

You don't have to say it
like I'm dead.

And because my six sons
would disown me if I didn't.

But honestly, Mr. Boyle,
you cannot go on like this.

Guess this means
I can't hire Mona back, huh?

Your former secretary
already holds enough IOUs to put you in receivership.

I'm sorry.
I hope things pick up for you.

Yeah.

Oh! Oh...

Here. Here's some tickets
for the game tomorrow night.

You and the kids
have a good time.

Thank you.

Yeah.

(PHONE RINGING)

Yeah, hello?

Bill? Did I catch you
at a bad time?

Oh, hi, Celia.

No, no, I'm just
going over the condition of my financial empire.

Problems?

No, no problems.

I'm just calling to make sure
you haven't forgot about dinner tomorrow evening.

Oh, are you kidding?

Why don't we go
to someplace quiet? Maybe your place.

Our last two dates have been
quiet dinners at my place.

Tomorrow evening
we're expected at the Sorrentinos'.

The used car salesman?

No, Bill,
Southern California's most successful new car dealer.

And he just happens
to be very interested in a six million dollar property

that I represent in Bel Air.

The guy's a stiff.
All he ever talks about are tax write-offs.

And his wife!

That bimbo
ought to be arrested for impersonating a female.

Bill, these people are
important to me. Please?

Now, I know
you're gonna find this a little hard to accept,

but I'm getting
just a little tired of eating in dingy dives

that smell like locker rooms.

Oh, come on, honey.

The Field Goal caters to
a very high-class clientele.

Right, I could tell
by the bowling trophies that line the wall.

Pick me up tomorrow evening,
7:00, shoes shined, smile on your face.

All right, sweetheart.
I'll be there with bells on.

Bill, forget about the bells.

Just wear a tie.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Yeah?

JOHNNY: What do you mean,
"Yeah"?

What kind of a greeting
is that?

Johnny!
Hey, I'll be a son of a...

How's it going, pappy?
How you doing, man?

Hey, you're skinny.

No, just trim.

How fast you run the 100?
Would you believe 9.3?

In full gear?
Get out of here.

No, on roller skates.

Jeez, five years.
That's the last time I saw your ugly face.

Where the hell have you been?

Well, I just got back
from Puerto Rico. Before that, Rio.

(JACK BARKING)

Oh, Bill, say hello to Jack.

Jack, Bill Boyle.

How are you?

Oh, he's cute.
How come you didn't get yourself a dog?

Hey, speaking of cute,
how's Penny?

Last I heard, great.

We split.

She went back to Kansas City.
She's got herself a new life.

Sorry to hear that.
I didn't know.

Oh, don't be.

I made a lousy husband.

I know that, too.

So how about you?
You married yet,

or they still give you
funny looks at the Y?

Me, married?

You gotta be kidding, pappy,
especially with him around.

And speaking of him,
what I really need is a favor.

You see,
I got a little errand to run,

and I can't take Jack
with me,

and I was wondering maybe
I could leave him with you... No.

I got a 2:00.
Heavy surveillance. Look...

It's nothing
I can talk about.

I can be back before 2:00.
I guarantee you. I promise.

For old times.
Come on, Johnny, you're always doing this...

Boyle, Boyle, he's our man.
If he can't do it, nobody can.

See you in a couple, pappy.

(JACK BARKING)

Yeah, yeah,
we did that already.

(JACK BARKS)

Relax, will you?

JESSICA:
A couple of hours passed and Bill realized

that it was coming
uncomfortably close to his 2:00 surveillance.

Okay, fella, I give up.

You wanna go for a walk?
We'll go for a walk.

Now just keep your yap shut
and don't give me any trouble.

JESSICA: Bill's idea of a dog
was a German shepherd or a Doberman.

It certainly wasn't
that dainty little frou-frou

that pranced along
at his side.

When I need a helper, Curly,
I'll let you know.

(DOG BARKING)

Mister, can you do me a favor?
Call off your dog.

Now, wait a second, honey.
In the first place, this is not my dog.

I'm just watching him.
And in the second place,

that beast of yours
seems to be causing all the trouble.

Wrong. Edgar is
basically very gentle.

He just spent six months
in obedience school.

Yeah, well, you better go back
and get his diploma.

Shut up, Jack.

Jack, knock it off.

Edgar, sit.

Jack, sit.

He's really a beautiful dog.

I presume he's papered.

Yeah, well, he didn't do
anything in my office, if that's what you mean.

What?

Look, honey,
what I know about dogs, you can stick in your ear.

I'm just dog-sitting
for a friend.

But believe me,
if I ever got one of my own, it'd be someone like him.

Oh, terrific.

(SHUTTER CLICKING)

Is something wrong?

No, no,
I'm just taking some shots for the Sunday supplement.

You know, theater in LA,
who's who, what's what.

That's very nice,

but aren't you supposed
to take the cap off the lens before you shoot?

(JACK BARKS)

BILL: You understand
what I'm telling you? I'm embarrassed.

I mean, you're probably
a very nice dog for some people,

but I gotta tell you, Jack...
If that's your real name,

and I don't think
it really is.

I think it's something like
Pierre or Percival, right?

I don't know
what the hell Johnny is doing

with a dog
that has your kind of hairdo.

Oh, for Pete's sake.

I've been looking for this.

Oh, this is terrific,
just terrific.

What did you
find there, fella?

The guy who did this?
Bring him on over here.

I'd like to talk to him.

Must be a little guy, huh?

You know what this is, dummy?
This is my lunch.

(BARKS)

(WHIMPERING)

Let me guess.
You're hungry.

Too bad.

This isn't
pâté de foie gras, pal.

This is liverwurst on rye
with mayonnaise.

(WHIMPERING)

Okay.

Okay, here.

If you get
sick to your stomach,

bark twice and I'll hold you
out the window.

Come in.

Excuse me, but my goodness.

Do you do windows, honey?
How about floors?

As you can see,
I'm very messy.

Mr. Boyle?

Yeah, I'm Bill Boyle.

I'm Maria.

Maria Wheeler.

Wheeler?

Johnny's wife.

He said to tell you
he's very sorry, but he got tied up.

He asked me
to come by for the dog.

Oh, you mean Marmalade.

Yeah, Marmalade.

He said to tell you
that he'd call you later

and thanks for watching...

Marmalade.
Yeah, thanks.

Hey, before you leave,
you mind if I make a phone call?

Oh, well, we are in
something of a hurry.

Yeah, well,
this won't take long.

See, my brother-in-law,
he's a lieutenant with the Los Angeles police,

and even though he's not
technically into dognapping,

he might be curious
about a woman who shows up

claiming to be married
to a bachelor,

who doesn't even know
the name of her own dog.

Well, you see, Mr. Boyle,
I do have identification.

Well, I'd rather see
a driver's license, but...

(SCREAMS)

Hey, stop that!
Stop that, do you hear?

Stop that!

Here! This is dreadful!
A lady isn't safe anywhere.

I'm calling the police.

Yes, I'm calling them.

Bill?

Lou, I haven't got time.

If it's about golf on Sunday,
the answer's yes.

It's not about golf.

Where'd you get the pooch?

In a gumball machine.

Would you mind?
I'm chasing this woman.

What else is new?

Look, do you know a guy,
6'2", 6'3",

about your age,
black hair, mustache?

I know a lot of them.

LOU: Well, this guy is down
in County General.

He's got two slugs
in his chest.

The only thing
he would say to me is two words, "Bill Boyle."

Don't worry about your dog.
He'll be fine in the car.

Did I say I was worried?

Hey,
get somebody in here!

LOU: Three IV bags.

Now, what the hell
does that mean?

I mean, three of them.

Well, all things considered,
that was not one of Bill Boyle's best days.

One of his dearest friends,
Johnny Wheeler, was dead,

murdered by persons unknown
except to Johnny,

who left behind
an enigmatic clue,

three intravenous bags
clutched in his grasp as he lay dying.

Things didn't get any better
that evening when Bill went for supper

with his ex-brother-in-law,
Police Lieutenant Lou Brickman.

(MUFFLED BARKING)

(THUMPING)

I think
Blitz wants to come out.

Blitz stays where he is.

Why does Blitz
have to stay in the laundry room?

Why doesn't he go
in the laundry room?

Because Jack is a guest,
honey.

It's funny, Bill.
I never knew you liked dogs.

I don't.

I was talking to Penny
the other day.

She said
she finally got a dog,

now that it's just her
alone in that big house in Kansas City.

Knock it off, Marge.

Well, I was just saying...

We know what
you were just, Marge.

Blitzkrieg, shut up!

(BLITZ YOWLING)

I can't listen to that.

Then go do your homework,
both of you.

Dad, it's August.
We don't have homework.

Then go watch television.

All that's on is the news.

Then watch the news.
You'll learn something.

Now scram. I gotta
talk to your Uncle Bill.

Excuse me,
I'm going with the children.

The children need me.

Look, Lou,
I'm sorry about the dog.

Forget it.

What I want to know about is
your friend Johnny Wheeler,

where he came from,
why he was killed.

He didn't tell you
what he was doing in town?

Only that he just got in
from Puerto Rico,

that he had an appointment
and would I watch his dog.

We checked every airline,
every steamship company.

There was nobody
named Johnny Wheeler

on any incoming passenger list
from Puerto Rico.

I'm telling you
what he told me.

So maybe
he didn't use his own name.

Why would he do that?

You trying to tell me
Johnny Wheeler was into something crooked?

Forget it. Johnny was
the original Straight Arrow.

Well, since when
did Straight Arrow use the name Bruce Forrester?

That's right.

A stewardess
identified Wheeler's picture as Forrester,

except she wasn't positive
because Forrester wore dark glasses.

He was posing
as a blind man.

But she remembers the dog.

Your friend was
into something,

and it wasn't just
the cookie jar.

It was embarrassing.
Even the kids didn't like you,

nice kids who like dogs.

But you,
you're something else.

(WHIMPERING)

Believe me,
soon as I figure out what's going on around here,

you're going to the pound.

No, no, no, no.
Don't give me that stuff.

With your luck,
some little old lady from Pasadena

will pick you
out of the lineup

and it'll be
all T-bones or snails

or whatever it is you eat
for the rest of your life.

(CHATTERING)

Come on, Robespierre,
let's move it.

WOMAN: Hey, Bill.

(WOMEN GIGGLING)

Grab a towel and join us.

I'd like to, ladies,
but there doesn't look like enough room.

Oh, I think we can
squeeze you in.

Listen, stay or sit
or whatever, you understand?

Don't move.

(WOMEN CHATTERING)

Now, what I want to know
is how come four of the airline's finest

are winding up the evening
without male companionship.

Because we're wiped out.

Or did you forget? Thursday's
our water polo night.

Oh.

You know,
just a few minutes in here

and those sore muscles
will begin to relax.

The poisons will be dragged
from your worn-out body.

Who says it's worn-out?

It must be.

We haven't seen
much of it lately.

Oh, yuck!

What's that?

I told you to stay, dummy.

Oh, he is cute.

Is he yours, Bill?

Well...

Knock it off.

Oh, he is adorable, Bill.
Really, he's real sweet.

Thanks.

Yeah, well,
I'll see you, girls.

Night, Bill.

Night, doggie.

Anybody ever tell you
you're a pain in the keister?

You know,
I been thinking, Jack.

What you need is
a good GI haircut.

What is it now,
the cat next door?

Don't worry, sport,
the kitty won't hurt you.

Will you cut it out?

Sugarman hears you barking
like that and we'll both be sleeping in the car tonight.

If you wanna live,
then you'll give it to us now!

Give you what?

We checked
both of Wheeler's bags. It wasn't there!

Now, he gave it to you,
and we want it!

Get the dog!

The dog!

Give it to us!

(SCREAMING)

MAN: Sit!

(JACK BARKING)

Jack, Jack, come back here!

What the hell
do they want you for?

Having foiled
the clumsy attempt at dognapping,

Bill began to suspect
that there might be more to Jack than met the eye.

A lot more.

The first thing
the next morning,

after telephoning
Lieutenant Brickman,

Bill took Jack
to the police kennel.

Look, buddy, my brother-in-law
is Detective Lieutenant Louis Brickman.

I don't care if your mother
is the Mayor's girlfriend.

All I want is an x-ray.

And what else,
a wash and a set?

This is not a police dog.

How do you know?
Maybe he's in disguise.

Go away, mister. I'm busy.

Bill.

Lou, will you tell
this guy...

Lieutenant, you can tell me
anything you like,

but there's no way
I'm gonna x-ray anybody's pet poodle.

Sorry, Doc, but this piece
of paper says you will.

Maybe a little rinse.

Okay, you've checked
his collar, his leash, his license,

and now you've checked
his gastric system. Are you satisfied?

Look, a bunch of goons
are after him. Why?

I don't know why.

Well, neither do I,
but I'm gonna find out.

And maybe
get yourself killed.

Bill, those guys last night,
they weren't kidding around.

Now, why don't you
leave the dog here? He'll be safe.

Oh, Lou, knock it off.

Whoever killed Johnny
is coming after poochie,

and when they do,
they're gonna have to come through me.

MONA: I'm sorry,
Mr. Baxter,

you're going to
have to take that up

with Mr. Boyle's
business manager.

He writes all the checks.
Mmm-hmm.

Sir, if you feel
you have to repossess the office furniture,

just come ahead.

Uh...

Didn't I just finish...
Didn't I just finish telling you?

Mr. Boyle is out of town
on an important case.

He won't be back
for several weeks. Yes.

You just do that, pal.

Mona, it's great
to have you back.

I can tell. Things have
gone downhill since I left.

Who's he?

BILL: A client.

Where'd he find you,
in the Yellow Pages?

It's a long story.

What happened to the job
at the ad agency?

It didn't work out.

I told them what I thought
of one of their clients.

Around this place,
that's no problem.

So, should we call
the garbage company

or just heave this stuff
out the window?

Well, let's see
what we can save.

I called my mother.
I told her I was coming back.

She says,
"Mona, what, are you crazy?

"Come home.
Stay with me awhile."

I says, "Ma,
what do you think, I'm crazy?"

I think she's got
her bags packed, ready for a visit.

What did you say?

I said I called my mother.
I said, "Ma..."

Bags.
What?

The guy said they checked
both of Wheeler's bags.

What guy?
Both. Two.

But Johnny had
three IV bags in his hand. Who's Johnny?

That's what Johnny
was trying to tell me.

Three bags, not two.

They only got
two claim checks.

He must have
destroyed the other one.

Come on, boy, let's go.

Bill, wait.
What are you talking about, and where are you going?

To check out some luggage.

Do what you can, huh?
Thanks a lot.

"Hi, Mona.
Nice to have you back."

Don't mention it.

"Did you do something
to your hair?"

Oh, just a rinse.

"Looks nice."

Thanks, Bill.
You always did have a way with words.

(SIGHING)

MAN: Yeah?

I'm here to pick up a bag.

Claim check.

I haven't got it, but I can
tell you the flight number.

No claim check, no bag.

Jack, go find it.

Hey, he can't go in there.

Gee, he just got away.

Call your dog, mister.

Humphrey. Oh, Humphrey?

I'll go get him.
I'll get him.

Hey, amigo,
you do what you want,

but the thing is,
the dog's been sick.

Rabies, I think,
and the doctor says one little nip and...

(CHUCKLES)

But you go ahead.
I mean, what the hell?

How bad can
one little nip be?

Okay, you get that leash
on him and get him out of here, you understand?

Right.

Hey, you can't do that.

Easy, mister.

FREISE: "I don't want
any..." Something.

"Get..." Something.
"And his group.

"I trust them."

The other man
is speaking now.

"No, no,
it must be the 25th,

"at precisely 7:30.

"It's the only chance
we will get.

"These are your tickets
on flight 21."

Somebody, I didn't get that,
"...will join you there.

"She will have the weapons."

All right, this is where
the guy must have spotted the camera. You see it?

Now the other guy turns,
just for a second. Back it up.

Freeze it, Eddie.

Mr. Browder?

I've seen enough.

LOU: Lights.

Mrs. Freise, thank you
so much for your help.

We'll call you
if we need you again.

Certainly.
Anytime.

Thank you.

We've been trying
to run a check on those characters, Mr. Browder,

but so far, no luck.

Yeah, well,
these people are more often

the Agency's responsibility
than yours, Lieutenant.

The Agency?

I thought you were a cop.

Yeah, well,
the international kind.

Government issue,
Mr. Boyle.

So was your friend
Johnny Wheeler.

Johnny worked
for the oil company.

Yeah, and for us.

Johnny was killed
because, well, he was onto something big.

The man whose face
we can see is Stephen Bowman.

He's sort of
an international...

He's a gangster.

Obviously
Bowman has hired this man whose face we can't see

to kill someone here
in the United States on the 25th,

which, unfortunately,
is today.

Here in Los Angeles?

Possibly.

Flight 21 stops first
in Los Angeles, then it goes on to San Francisco.

We'll have them alerted.

Yeah, if it's not too late.

I think that if there had been
a major assassination at 7:30 this morning,

we'd have known about it.

Bowman has hired this man,
someone we don't know,

to kill someone else,
we don't know who, someplace, we don't know where,

at 7:30 this evening.

Mr. Boyle,
on behalf of the Agency, we are grateful for your help.

Without you, we would
never have been able to find the film in the fishing reel.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, well, we'll be
in touch if we need you.

Thank you very much.

Hey, Boyle, forget something?

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

♪ Quién es♪
Maria.

Clear.

Where's Ramon?

He's getting
the credentials.

Paulo, we can't
go ahead with this.

We have no choice.

But we haven't
found the film.

And maybe
they haven't either.

Even if they have,
Wheeler never photographed my face.

I'm sure of it.
You don't know that!

It makes no difference.
It must be tonight.

You know that, Maria,

and you know why.

Hey. Hey, Boyle!

Boyle!

Boyle.

What do you say,
Mr. Sugarman?

Say? What do I have
to say? I'll tell you what I have to say.

I say what the hell's
going on around here, huh?

Last night,
you and three other guys, you tear the place apart.

You demolished
an entire window that cost about 200 bucks.

Yeah, well, if you had
any kind of security around here,

you'd still have
your lousy window.

Yeah, well, we have
a reputation around here.

I know that,
but even so, it hasn't hurt your business any.

Don't worry about it.
I'll pay for the window.

Yeah? Well, it'll be
the first time in seven months you paid for anything.

Now, look, Boyle,
the owners just let you stay here free of rent

because they think
that you're some kind of celebrity.

Well...
But they want something in return,

and that is, they wanna
see you around sometime, all right?

Now, what about Sunday?
The Samoan Luau.

What about Tuesday, huh,
with the Disco Delight, huh?

Yeah, I got tied up.

Well, look, there are
rules around here. No pets.

What are you doing
with that?

He followed me home
from the supermarket.

Funny. Funny.

Let me tell you something,
old-timer.

It's been five seasons
since you've been on the gridiron, all right?

You're getting to be
yesterday's news.

Now, if you don't play ball
and get rid of the fur ball,

it's going to be arrivederci.

Hey.

What is that?
What's the matter with him?

Must be your cologne.

(STAMMERS)

Oh, get rid of him.

Now, listen, Sugarman,
the dog goes when I say he goes.

And as for this plywood
palace of yours, it's not that great,

so get off of my back
or I'll be the one who's saying arrivederci.

SUGARMAN: Get, get...
Get away from me!

Jack, cut it out.
Jack, sit!

Either the dog goes
or the both of you go.

What was that all about?

Well, never mind.
Come on. Come on, Jack.

Well, what do you eat, pal?

Dog food?

Fresh out. Sorry.

No dog biscuits, either.

What? You like eggs?

Yeah?

How do you like them?

I'll tell you
how you like them. You like them scrambled.

Now, I know
this is gonna come as a great shock to you,

but I'm gonna have to
leave you home here tonight,

because I have a date

with a very, very shapely
young lady.

I mean, she is very...

Well, I guess
you wouldn't know anything about stuff like that.

Then again,
you been hanging around with Johnny Wheeler,

so I'm not sure
I'd bet on that.

And tomorrow, I'm gonna
find you a place to stay.

No, no, I'm not gonna
send you to the pound.

I was just kidding about that.

No, the thing is,

I know a few gals,
any one of whom would eat you up with a spoon.

Believe me, Jack,
I am doing you the biggest favor of your life.

(PHONE RINGING)

Boyle.

Bill, it's me.

I'm just getting ready
to take a shower.

Well, forget about it.
Dinner's off.

With the Sorrentinos?

Oh, gee, Celia,
I been looking forward to that all day.

Listen, do not bust
my chops, big fella.

This has been
one lousy day.

Not only is Kenny Sorrentino
not going to buy that Bel Air estate,

los federales
picked him up this afternoon on charges of tax evasion,

after I spent
the last six weeks

buttering up
to that tinhorn ganef.

Well, look at it this way.
You've still gotta eat.

What do you say I bring in
some Chinese and a movie,

we do a little egg fu yung,
a little mushu pork,

then we cuddle up on the sofa,
ignore the movie...

Okay.

Be at my place at 7:30.

Now, that's
what I call a date. See you, babe.

And to think I used to say
nasty things about the IRS.

Listen, I hate to leave you,
pal, but like I told you, I got a heavy date.

So don't wait up for me.

Oh, knock it off.

You want Sugarman getting
the dogcatcher over here?

You want me getting evicted?

Just lay down
and go to sleep or something.

You gonna
keep this up all night?

Okay. Okay, you win.

But if you think
I'm showing up for this date with you on my arm,

you are sadly mistaken.

I have an image to maintain,
and you are no part of it.

I have a guy who...
He's a buddy.

He'll probably look after you
for a couple of hours.

Maybe even a couple of years.
I should be so lucky.

Bill, what the hell
do I want a watchdog for?

And if I did, which I don't,
it sure wouldn't be that watchdog.

BILL: Shows what you know,
Cricket.

This dog happens to have
been trained by an agent of the US Government.

Who, the mailman?

By a CIA operative.

I haven't been robbed
by any spies lately. Thanks anyway.

MAN: Hey, Cricket,
hit me again here, huh?

And turn up the sound
on the TV, huh?

Well, don't look at me
like that.

I'm doing the best I can.

What, are you hungry again?

MAN ON TV:
And we're all looking forward to a terrific game tonight.

And now let's go downstairs
for an update.

And earlier this evening,
the Raiders announced they have a special guest

for this evening's
final preseason clash against the Steelers.

President Alberto Ruiz
arrived here at the Coliseum minutes ago

with beefed-up security
provided by the US Government.

President Ruiz
is making his first visit to this country

since his rebel army overthrew
the previous dictatorship last year.

The President is reported
to be a big football fan.

No wonder. He studied
here in the States as an undergraduate

and set several
school rushing records.

Are the Raiders
talking contract?

Perhaps President Ruiz
will tell us.

His press secretary
has promised the President will come here

for an impromptu
news conference

immediately following
the game.

I'll have a live report.

Now back upstairs.

That's her.

That's the dame.

Excuse me.

Hey, pal, how you doing?

Yeah, put me through
to Lieutenant Brickman.

Yeah, well, where is he?

Oh, sorry.

This is Bill Boyle.
I'm his brother-in-law. I...

Yeah.
Yeah, the real Bill Boyle.

Where is...

The Coliseum?

Thanks.

Cricket, put it on my tab.

And if Celia calls,
tell her...

Tell her I'll get there
when I get there.

(CROWD CHEERING)

(HONKING)

(JACK BARKING)

ANNOUNCER: The whistle
is blown, and that's the two-minute warning.

Sorry, Mac,
this entrance is closed.

Where's Lieutenant Brickman?
He's on the upper level.

Yeah, I'm Bill Boyle.
I'm his brother-in-law. I gotta see him.

Bad Bill Boyle?
Sure. I didn't recognize you.

Look, I'm sorry,
but I don't think I can let you through.

Yeah, well, you better, pal,
'cause somebody's gonna end up dead.

I'll check it out for you.

Yeah, well,
I haven't got time for that. Tell him I'm coming up.

Hey, wait! Wait a minute.
You can't take that dog!

Hold it, fella!

I haven't got time
to hold it.

LOU: Hold it! Hold it!

Hold it! Break it up!
Break it up, will you?

What the hell is going on?

The dame who tried
to pass herself off as Johnny Wheeler's wife,

she's one of the reporters.

Then Browder was right.
The target is Ruiz.

And he's having
a press conference after this game.

That's where
they're gonna try.

Come on.

That's her.

We're busted, man.

Everyone, back off!

(EXCLAIMS)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

MAN: Come on, man!

Back off!
Get away from the door!

Arrivederci, Jack.

Not bad, big guy.

We can still make
the second half.

BILL: This is dumb.
I don't even know the guy.

Probably just wants
to thank you and your dog.

Not my dog.

Well, just be your own
gracious self, Mr. Boyle.

Mr. Ruiz is a big admirer
of yours.

Oh, yeah?

Well, that's different.
Do I look okay?

Yeah, you look just fine,
just fine.

...possibility as...

(EXCLAIMING IN SPANISH)

Permit me, please.

Mr. Bad Bill Boyle.

What an infinite pleasure
it is to meet you at last.

The greatest
of pro football's monster men.

I'm certainly happy
to meet you, Mr. President.

And you have my gratitude,
Mr. Boyle.

Please.

For a year now,
agents of the former regime have vowed to kill me.

It was their boast
that I would die on the 25th of this month

at precisely 7:30,

the very moment the dictator,
one year ago today, took his own life.

Shut up, Jack.

You're involved
in a dangerous business, Mr. President.

RUIZ: And you are not,
Mr. Boyle?

Football prepares us to...
How do you say?

Tough it out.

Now, look, Jack...

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

The bottle!

Got it.

I think maybe we're gonna
need the bomb squad.

Oh, I think so.

There was enough explosives
in that bottle to kill everybody in the room.

Including the waiter.

Gerardo Martinez.

A terrorist and fanatic.

If he was willing
to blow himself up, I guess he is.

Well, he was hired by Bowman
to do the dirty work.

We'll get Bowman,
sooner or later.

I guess he didn't count
on having to mix it up with Superdog.

(LAUGHING) Yeah,
tough little cuss, isn't he?

Well, he was trained
by the best.

Sure was.
Mmm-hmm.

Lieutenant,
the situation is neutralized.

Well, I guess Johnny must
have relatives somewhere.

They'd probably like the dog.

Oh, no, no.
Johnny was alone, Mr. Boyle.

Well, I'm sure
some family would like him.

You take care of it.

Well, I'm afraid
that wouldn't be possible.

You see, Jack has been
carefully trained since birth to do undercover work.

Now, we couldn't
allow him to live with a civilian family.

It'd be too dangerous.

He's been taught
too many signals, too many attack commands.

So I found out.

Mmm-hmm.
So then you understand why he'd have to be terminated.

(BARKS)

(WHIMPERING)

Terminated? You mean...

Yeah, terminated.

No way, pal.

Johnny handed me the dog.
He's my responsibility.

Oh, now, Mr. Boyle,
I'm very serious about this dog.

So am I.

Now, listen,

I don't want you to think
this is gonna be permanent or anything, because it isn't.

I mean,
I'm a guy on the go.

I haven't got time
to nursemaid any stupid dog.

You understand that,
don't you?

Okay, just as long
as we've got that straight.

So what about
those other words?

You gonna let me know
what they are or just surprise me?

Jack, attack.

Kill.

Sic 'em.

Bubblegum.

Yogi Berra.

Hey, dummy,
how long is this gonna take?

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