All language subtitles for MSW s05e09 Something Borrowed Someone Blue.eng

Well, I have had it.
You don't want to marry me?

It's the end of the world, that's all.
The end of the world.

And what are you doing, Franklin?
Sitting here smoking with Jessica.

Calm down, Maisie,
before another gray cell hits the bug light.

[Woman]
Tonight on Murder, She Wrote.

You look ravishing.
You look tired.

In my family,
somebody like your brother-in-law would simply not be tolerated.

Maybe we should just elope.

- Love conquers all, you know.
- Maybe where you live.

Wedding party. Wedding party.
Rehearsal time. Rehearsal time.

Now remember,
all smiles all the time.

This is $500 over the estimate!

That was for the slat chairs.
Your wife went with the caned chairs.

They're more compatible
with one's anatomy.

I'm gonna need
the deposit now, Mr. Mayberry.

Deposit?
What do you mean, deposit? For flowers?

For the vases, Mr. Mayberry.
You break 'em, you bought 'em.

Father of the bride. Father of the bride.
Time to rehearse giving your daughter away.

Giving her away?
More like paying to have her stolen by some kid who can't afford her.

Oh, now, now, now.
Love conquers all, you know.

Maybe where you live.

Franklin, where on earth
have you been?

What do you mean,
where have I been? Jessica's arrived.

Grady's mother.
It's his aunt.

Don't be difficult, Franklin.
My nerves won't take it. They simply won't.

Now go say hello
and be nice to her. We like her, remember?

I have to rehearse first.
Tell Donna to meet me at the aisle.

Well, you might help out,
you know.

[Sighs]

I hope that you are prepared
to clean that up yourself.

Good morning, Harriet.
I was just admiring how clean this glass is.

Good job.

By the way,
if it's not too much trouble, what's with the lock on the booze?

We don't want those apes
stealing our liquor, now, do we?

It's bad enough
they're tearin' up my house.

Thank goodness
you're here, Jessica.

I was beginning to wonder
if I'd know anybody at my own wedding.

My goodness. What a lot
of guests must be coming. Look at all these presents.

Most of them are from Daddy's clients.
He has a very large client list.

Yeah. I think there's even
a few here from friends.

Really?

Well, you're certainly
getting off to a great start.

Sure. And the best part is
I can always hock the gifts if I don't find a better paying job.

Oh, Grady, you did want me
to keep working after all.

Yeah- No, no, really-

Well, why didn't you say
something? I mean, I could- Donna, I'm fine, really. Honest.

Really?
Yeah, sure.

My goodness. This is a very
handsome gift, isn't it?

It's from Mrs. Pentworth,
one of Daddy's biggest clients.

She probably had it
professionally wrapped.

Well, children,
I wrapped this one myself.

Oh, Jessica, it's beautiful.

Honey, you don't even
know what it is yet.

I can't wait.

Well, I won't tell if you won't.

Oh.

Geez, AuntJess,
this is the mirror your mom gave you when you got married.

Well, l- I just thought
you might need something old.

And it brought great good luck
to Frank and me.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Donnal
That's bad luckl

[Sighs]
You naughty children.

Don't you know
you're not supposed to see each other on your wedding day?

But, Mother, it's our
wedding rehearsal day.

Exactly. And they need you
for the rehearsal, dear.

Now don't dawdle, dear.
Scoot! Scoot!

Uh, excuse me, Mrs. Mayberry.
Shouldn't I be in the rehearsal too?

Oh, of course, Grady.

Although I do wish I didn't keep
seeing Wilfred waiting by the altar.

Wilfred?
Wilfred Wynn III.

Phi Beta Kappa. Childhood sweetheart
that they were sure that Donna was gonna marry,

who appeared on Earth
full-blown from the head of Zeus.

One more day, AuntJess.
Just one more day.

You're the aunt-in-law, right?
I'm Harriet Lundgren the housekeeper. Oh, how do you do?

You're, uh, second door,
top of the stairs. This way. Thank you.

Oh, better grab your bags.
There's no bellhop service around here.

That's the bathroom.

Don't comb your hair over the sink.
I've got plumbing problems you wouldn't believe.

There's the closet, drawers.
Don't wrinkle the lining paper. It's new.

Hey! Hold it!

I just laundered that bedspread.
I don't want it soiled.

Excuse me. How long have you
worked for the Mayberrys?

Too long. Believe me.

By the way, you're not anybody
important, are you?

Just a writer, I'm afraid.

- You sharpen any pencils in my house, you
do it over a wastebasket, you understand? - [Door Closes]

[Bell Ringing]

Oh, dear.

[Clears Throat]

- So, Ben, what is it you do for a living?
- Well, now, Jessica, I'll tell you-

Uh, young man-
I'm sorry.

- If you had a client who had more than
a hundred thousand income in H-7- - Daddy.

You promised. No quizzes.

I gotta get ice for my drink.
I need to cool off my hot blood.

Know what I mean, Jessica?

We always used to call him
Uncle Ben the crook.

But he's not really a criminal, is he?
Daddy won't let us talk about it.

I've warned you about that before,
quick fingers.

- I don't care if you are
Mr. Mayberry's brother. - Come on. I'm just playin' around.

- You try that again, you won't be
playing with a full deck. - Ooh!

Harriet, dear, I hate to intrude,
but about dinner-

You want to know about dinner?
Let me tell you about dinner.

In a coexisting partnership
with the motion picture company- Daddy, where is this going to end?

In bankruptcy court.
[Doorbell Rings]

I've heard it before, sir.
Oh, I'll get it.

So, Daddy, um,
do you think we have enough flowers for tomorrow?

And to top it off, you people
let the rehearsal run late. I'm sorry.

- I'm not a mind reader,
and I only have two hands. - Maisie, some new guests have arrived.

- I thought you'd wanna
see them right away. - New guests?

[Maisie]
Ziggyl

Oh, and you must be Valerie.
Mm-hmm.

Oh, my dear, I feel as if
I know you already. Oh.

Oh, my. You are exactly
as I expected you to be.

Oh. Oh. Oh, forgive me, Jessica.
I just haven't seen my brother in so long.

L- I never leave Greensboro.
The family business takes all my time.

Yes. Your sister was telling me
that you still live in the house that, uh, you two grew up in.

Yeah. I am pleased to say
that it is just as Mother left it...

36 years and 10 months ago.

Oh, poor Ziggy.
Not anymore, Maisie. Mm-mmm.

Not since I convinced this
Southern belle to be my bride.

Oh, Valerie! I can't
thank you enough!

Oh, my gracious.
It is warm in here.

Do you suppose
I could freshen up a bit?

Oh, of course.
What am I thinking of?

Harriet will show you
to your room. Make up your mind.

Do you want dinner
or a guided tour?

[Clock Chiming]

Soup's on the table.

Well, perhaps I can help.
Uh, I believe my room is right next to yours, Valerie.

Oh, Jessica, I hope that
you don't type late into the night.

My mama used to say that anytime
anyone would make a noise...

three plantations away,
I would wake right up. [Chuckles]

[Knocking]

Jessica.

You look ravishing.

Uh, Ben, you look tired.

Y-You really should get some sleep.
Good night.

I know you feel the same way
I do, Jessica. I can tell.

Yes. Oh, you're absolutely right.
I mean, I am exhausted.

[Yawns]
See you tomorrow.

To waste a night like this
would be such a shame. Ben, listen-

Do you know
which room is Valerie's?

No!

[Knocking]

Ben-

- Were you expecting
Uncle Ben, AuntJess? - Oh- Oh, no. No.

- We could come back another time.
- Oh, no. No, please. Come on inside.

[Sighs]
My parents are just impossible.

All they ever talk about
is Wilfred.

Never mind that nobody's
seen him for five years.

Oh, now, they're gonna get over it.

Well, that's not the worst of it.
Mr. Mayberry has offered me a job. Well, what's wrong with that?

It's a terrible job.
I mean, I should know. It's the one I just quit-

long hours,
just slave labor.

Well, just say, "No, thank you."

On the other hand, it's a big firm.
I might get a promotion. Don't count on that.

On the other hand,
it's terrible pay. About 20,000 a year.

Really?
He was paying me 25,000.

Well, AuntJess-

Well, maybe he offered you that job
because he felt obligated to.

Just like he felt obligated
to buy us the house next door?

- It's our wedding present.
- Oh.

Kyle's Catering.

Give me a break here!
The food is rotting in my truck!

You're not cooking
for 200 in my kitchen.

You were supposed to
deliver that food prepared.

Listen, flap jaw,
I could get a pile of business out of this shindig,

and I am not gonna serve
raw pork balls!

Now you stay
out of my way, beetle face, or I will fry you like a wonton.

You think that
I'm scared of the likes of you? Get out of my kitchenl

Oh, excuse me, Harriet.
Good morning, Mrs. Fletcher. What can I get you?

Well, uh, I was hoping
for a cup of coffee.

Sure.
Help yourself.

I hope you don't want cream.

Milkman hasn't come yet.

There's only enough for the family.

Valerie and I have
so much in common. [Chuckles]

It's the first marriage
for both of us, and, uh,

well, she spent years
taking care of her ailin' mother, which I did too.

We're both of us well-off,
and we have so many interests together.

Mmm.
My husband and I enjoyed doing so many things together.

Fishing and backpacking,
movies. [Chuckles]

We even took Russian lessons
together one time.

Oh.
[Chuckles]

Well, mostly Valerie and I
just sit on the porch evenings...

talkin' about our mothers.
Yeah.

This is the last time I bail you out.
You understand, Ben?

From now on
the Franklin Mint is closedl C- L-O-S-D.

Closed!
You've had every advantage.

Certainly more than I've had,
that's for sure.

And what have you done?
You've squandered your life!

Oh, I don't know, Frank.
I've had fun.

Fun? Who told you
life was supposed to be fun?

Franklin?
Uh, Jessica.

I know you're very busy, Franklin,
so I'll get right to the point.

Uh, please.
Thank you.

You know, I probably know Grady
better than anybody else.

Hold it right there, Jessica.
I know what you're gonna tell me.

You're gonna tell me
that Grady's a fine young man.

And I also wanna tell you
that Grady loves Donna very much.

And most important,
she loves him too.

Love, huh?

Just as I loved my husband
and, I dare say, that you love your wife.

Now look, no offense.

Grady seems like a-
like a healthy young man.

But I've worked hard
to attain a certain position.

Franklin, my husband's brother
and his wife were wonderful people.

And when Grady came to live with us
after that terrible car accident,

it was-well,
it was almost like a gift,

because we didn't have
any children of our own.

So if I do say so myself,

Grady really had
four wonderful parents.

And that seems to me...

to be the best kind
of family position to have.

Franklin.

It's the end of the world, that's all.
The end of the world.

And what are you doing, Franklin?
Sitting here smoking with Jessica.

You know how Harriet
hates cigar smoke. Calm down, Maisie,

before another gray cell
hits the bug light.

- The caterer, your Mr.
- What's the matter? He using nonunion goose livers?

He's threatening to leave,
that's all.

He says Harriet won't let him
in the kitchen.

And now she is
nowhere to be found.

I told you, Jessica.
She left us. Kaput.

Well, perhaps she's in the garden
helping to set up the wedding. Shall we have a look?

She's just gone away and left us.

It's Franklin's cigars,
that's what it is.

[Chattering]

Madam, where do you want them?
[Chattering Continues]

I'm not sure.
I don't care.

Ask Harriet. Harriet knows
where everything is. Harriet. I don't know Harriet. Who's Harriet?

Maisie! Maisie! Good news!
I just spoke to the security guard on the house phone,

and he said that lots of people
have come in, but no one has left.

Oh, wonderful!
But why is that good news?

Well, it means that Harriet
is still somewhere around here.

Well, I, for one,
couldn't be more thrilled. [Chattering]

Stop it, all of you!

I don't have the vaguest idea
where anything is or where anything goes. I only live here.

Besides, I have something
much more important to do.

I have to get ready
for my daughter's wedding. [Chattering]

Jessica.
Jessica, you're much better at this sort of thing.

Perhaps you might help
these gentlemen?

[Chattering]

Oh, Ziggy, that was
an absolutely splendid repast.

Oh, thank you, dear.

However, for future reference,

the eggs were a little overdone.

They were?
Mmm. And the hollandaise could be the just everest, teeniest bit more thick.

Oh, dear.
Ziggy, my man. Just a minute.

Huh? What?

You're going about this all wrong.

The woman cooks,
the man complains about the eggs.

This is the secret of success
of your many marriages?

Sure. Women love to be
told what to do. Watch.

Listen, Val.
Hmm?

You look like the kind of a gal
who loves a good time.

- Soon as this shindig's over with,
how would you like to pop off to Vegas? - [Valerie Chuckles]

How would you like
a nice cup of hot coffee...

in your lap?
Ooh, kinky.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Oh, Eva Braun took a hike, huh?

On the counter with that,
over on the other counter over there, by the stove with that.

We're gonna need this area right here.
Mr. Laughlin, your waiters and waitresses are here. They're out in the garden.

Waitresses!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Leave them alone!

In my family,
someone like your brother-in-law would simply not be tolerated.

We would ship him off
to a penitentiary or somethin'.

You know, I wouldn't be surprised
if Ben isn't the kind of man...

who just likes to make people think
that he's a criminal.

That must be why he always stays
one step ahead of the postal authorities.

Oh, does he sell merchandise
through the mail?

Cures for baldness.

Aren't the flowers lovely?
Do you like flowers, young man?

Yeah, sure.
Give me a carnation, I'm one happy puppy.

- Jessical I want you to meet-
- Cousin Clara.

Jessica, the groom's aunt.
Uh, I gotta go check the water for the flowers.

I'm happy to meet you, Clara.
You're, uh, Franklin's cousin?

I'll bet you're lucky enough
to be a houseguest.

Tell me. How has the food been?

Oh, excellent.
Really delicious.

Good.
Do you know when they're going to start serving it?

My God! No!

You know better than to knock on
the bride's door on your wedding day.

What are you trying to do,
ruin the rest of my life?

[Boy]
You're deadl [Boy #2] Don't shootl Nol

[Both Shouting]
[Toy Guns Whirring]

You're dead!

No more ice cream
for the rest of my life.

[Tapping On Glass]
[Grady] Donna?

Donna.
Donna?

Grady, what are you doing here?
You know I'm not supposed to see you. It's bad luck.

What, are you kidding?
What's another black cat, more or less? What?

Donna, I'm sorry.
I wanna talk to you, but your mother won't let me.

And I tried to get some straight answers,
but your father brushes me off like I'm a piece of lint.

Well, I've had it!
You don't wanna marry me?

No. No, it's not that.

I mean, it's about that job.
The one your father offered me.

Uh-huh?
I'm gonna turn it down- uh, if it's okay with you.

Oh, Grady, you know whatever
you wanna do is fine with me.

Well, there's something else too.

I think- I think it is
really, really important.

I mean,
it is vital that we don't live next door to your parents.

I never liked that house anyway.

Are you sure?
It's really okay with you?

It's really okay with me
if it's really okay with you.

That's great. I'm gonna go talk
to your father right now.

Right now? Oh, Grady,
I'm not so sure this is the-

[Knocking]
[Maisie] Donna?

Mother! Oh!
Donna?

Yes, Mother?

Who are you talking to?
Is there someone in there with you?

No, Mother.

Yes, Grady, what is it?

Mr. Mr. Mayberry,
I think it's time that you and I have a little talk.

I do not believe this! That woman
wrote a check for the orchestra and wrote a question mark.

A question mark! Like I'm supposed
to guess how much we're paying these Lawrence Welk soundalikes.

It's not bad enough she overpays
the florist, forgets to pay the organist- Yes, Grady, what is it?

- [People Laughing]
- Why, Franklin was just telling me this morning...

how flattered he was that you,
Mrs. Pentworth-

his most important client
really in all the world-

that you'd take time out of
your busy schedule for our daughter's-

I'm supposed to be yachting.

[Chuckles]
Where is Franklin?

He told me
we had business to discuss. [Franklin] What?

- Of all the stupid, kitten-brained,
slack-jawed idiocy, this takes the cakel - Ah, that sounds like him now.

Oh, dear, no.
Franklin never raises his voice.

We are talking about
Franklin Mayberry?

Oh, Jessica!

I want you to meet someone.

Mrs. Pentworth,
this is Jessica Fletcher-

you know, the very famous
mystery writer.

Well, not so famous, really.

Of course you are.
Jessica yachts, don't you, Jessica?

Well, no, not really.
L-I mean, actually, I do fish from a boat.

Mysteries.

Aren't those what people
who fly tourist read on airplanes?

Excuse me.

I am ready to hang it up,
AuntJess.

Oh, Grady, anybody would be nervous
on their wedding day.

No, no.
That's not the problem. Well, then, what is it?

I just tried to stand up to Mr. Mayberry
and- and my ears are still ringing.

Well, today might not
have been the best timing.

And all I ever hear about is
Wilfred this and Wilfred that.

Maybe-

Maybe Donna'd be
better off with Wilfred.

Grady, you don't really believe that.

I just have this
terrible premonition.

Don't be silly.
I mean, the worst is over.

I mean, what else
could possibly go wrong?

You're deadl
You're deadl You're deadl [Toy Guns Whirring]

We'll give you much more personal
service than the accounting firm that you're with right now.

Daddy! Daddy!
Daddy! Daddy!

Not now.
Daddy's talking business. Daddy! Dad-

Forget the personal service crap.
Will you give me a volume discount? Oh, you bet.

Daddy!
What is it?

[Siren Blaring]

Wait, wait!

How ya doin'?
Uh, do you have an invitation, sir?

I don't need an invitation.
I'm the chief of police.

It probably got lost in the mail.

She's done, all right.

Good man, Slocum.
Now take her off the property, and we'll get back to you.

Gee, Mr. Mayberry, you know
I'd do anything to accommodate you,

but we can't move her
till the ambulance gets here.

Regulations.
So where's the ambulance?

Well, you know our budget, sir.
We've only got the one, and it's on another call right now.

I knew this was gonna happen.
Grady, would you calm down?

The way that cop is going,
there isn't gonna be any wedding.

At least not today, not here.
Maybe not even ever.

Yes, there is.

Excuse me.
Uh, Chief Slocum,

I'm sure you noticed that Harriet
seems to be clutching a piece of wrapping paper in her hand.

And it looks to me like a piece
that I saw on a gift in the foyer.

- Gift? You got a party goin' here?
- I'm supposed to be getting married today.

Oh, well, congratulations, Mr. Fletcher.
That's-That's wonderful.

Yes. Well, perhaps you should check
and see if the gift is still in the foyer.

Uh, first things first.

The least you can do, Slocum,
is to move her somewhere where we won't be tripping over her all day.

Oh, Mr. Mayberry,
I'd do anything to oblige you,

but we can't do a thing till
the police photographer gets here. Well, where's the photographer?

He's been delayed.
He's out with the ambulance. Ah, geez.

Well, you can't leave her here.
It's- It's unsanitary.

Uh, Chief Slocum, I have a thought.

I want all the angles-
top, bottom, sideways. Yes, yes.

I know what I'm doing.
I mean, it's not like she's gonna wanna buy any copies or anything.

[Franklin]
Oh, nol Where is Mrs. Pentworth's gift?

I've gotta thank her for it,
I don't even know what it is.

I wanna apologize,
Mr. Mayberry, sir.

I do feel kind of funny
showin' up here without a gift.

What?
Well, if I'd have known there was gonna be a wedding-

You listen to me, Slocum.
You get this thing cleaned up quickly, you understand?

I've got business to-
I mean, guests to attend to.

I'll take care of everything, sir.

We always get these
professional burglars!

- Uh, Chief Slocum, surely you don't
believe this was a professional job? - Why not?

The housekeeper catches
a burglar stealing a present, tries to get the gift back-

And gets stabbed with
a meat thermometer in the back.

Now it seems to me that that piece
of wrapping paper in Harriet's hand could have been an afterthought...

to make her murder
look more like a burglary.

Oh, shoot.

If it was one of Mr. Mayberry's guests,
he's gonna blow a gasket.

Chief, it doesn't have to
have been one of the guests.

The killer could have been
anyone who's been here since early this morning.

Like an employee. Great!
Some schmo from out of town.

But how did you figure that?

The only entrance has been guarded
since daybreak. And according to the security guard, nobody's left.

Oh.

- But that means the killer's still here.
- I'm afraid so.

You're afraid so?
Lady, I'm the one who's gotta tell Mr. Mayberry...

nobody leaves
till we figure this out.

I'm the one who's gotta tell him
the wedding is on hold.

♪♪ ["Here Comes The Bride"]

[Whispering, Indistinct]

Uh, let me say one thing.
[Stops]

The bar's still open.
[Chuckles]

[Crowd Murmuring]
Oh.

Uh, dear friends,

our gracious host
has just informed me, uh, that the delay is nothing serious.

A slight problem
with the, uh, help, I believe.

[Murmuring]

I knew it.
I knew it from the first moment I laid eyes on that young man-

Well, that Donna's
a willful little thing. Always been hard to please.

I hear she's in the family way.

You give me one good reason
why we can't have this wedding right now.

Sir, if we delay the investigation,
evidence could be destroyed.

I said a good reason.
But he's right, Franklin.

In any case, sir, I can't allow anyone
to leave until I've questioned-

- You're accusing my guests-
- No, sir. Of course not.

Perhaps if we put
our heads together.

Right. Now, here's a lady
that knows a thing or two about murder mysteries.

You don't mind a little help,
do you, Slocum?

No, sir, not at all.

I guess the first thing we should do
is notify the next of kin.

Oh, can't that wait?
I don't know anything about her family.

Well, possibly Harriet had them
listed on her references- uh, that is, if you've saved them.

I save everything.

I'm an accountant.

The Cravens of San Francisco,
the Saunders of New Orleans, the Parkers of Grosse Pointe.

My goodness.

Harriet wasn't exaggerating
when she said she'd worked all over this country.

I really have been doing my best
for you, Mr. Mayberry.

We moved the body,
and that's not exactly kosher.

I only did it because it was you.

Slocum, get to work.

[Door Closes]
Get to work. As if I weren't trying.

As if we had a murder
every week around here.

Uh, Chief Slocum,
I'm sure it's occurred to you...

that the killer probably was not
acquainted with this house.

I told you it was someone
from out of town.

Our people wouldn't do that.

Harriet put the meat thermometer
into this drawer this morning,

right across from here
where the knives are kept.

Which means-

Which means that
if the killer knew the house,

he would have grabbed
for the most convenient, surefire weapon-

a knife.
Instead of searching for a meat thermometer.

But what does that prove?

Well, that means that
the killer was in a hurry...

and grabbed for whatever
what was nearest to him.

Doesn't that mean that
the housekeeper was killed in the kitchen and then moved?

Possibly to buy time
for the killer to leave the house before the body was discovered.

Okay.
If it wasn't a professional job,

but it wasn't somebody
who knew the house,

and it was somebody who hasn't left,
but somebody who wanted to buy time-

[Sighs]
Who does that leave us with?

A temporary employee, perhaps?

[Sniffles]
Everything's gonna be okay, Donna. Honest.

Our engagement party
was a disaster too, remember?

[Sniffles]
Maybe somebody has it in for us.

Donna.
What are you doing here?

I asked him, Daddy.
She asked me, sir.

If your mother knew he was in here,
there'd be Holy Ned to pay.

And what's that window doing open?
You wanna catch pneumonia?

Daddy,

I think that we should talk
about our future, Grady and me.

Fine, fine, let's talk.
Maybe your mother was right.

Maybe you should
have married Wilfred. There was a boy with a future.

There was a boy with both feet
planted firm on the ground. [Vehicle Approaching]

[Franklin]
Who the hell is that clown?

[Engine Revving]

One of your freaky friends
from New York?

- Yo! Donna!
- [Both] Wilfred?

I wouldn't have missed your wedding
even for a Grateful Dead concert.

Wilfred.

Oh, Franklin, have you
seen the caterer?

Why do people change?
They just go away and change.

[Donna Chuckling]

Oh.

From Pop's Drugstore.
Always was your favorite, remember?

Look, I just blew into town
a couple of minutes ago, picked this up...

and came right here
to see your beautiful face.

[Giggles]
Oh, Wilfred.

Uh- Uh, this is Jessica Fletcher,
Grady's aunt.

Oh, yes.
Um, we've heard a great deal about you, Wilfred.

- Haven't we, Grady?
- Yes, a great deal.

You are one lucky hombre here.

Donna always was the girl for me.

But, hey, I'm a man
of the road nowadays.

Can't carry excess baggage.

Excess baggage?

I don't think that your parents
know that you are here, Wilfred.

I just met them. They were
so proud of you winning the Fulbright scholarship.

That was way last year.
Listen, got a lot of miles to burn today.

Sorry, Mr. Wynn, sir,
uh, but you're gonna have to stay a while.

We're pursuing
a criminal investigation.

No, no, man, you don't understand.
See, I'm outta here!

Uh, excuse me.
Uh, sir. Uh, sir.

Welcome to the wedding.

[Valerie] Oh, yes.
Oh, it is so refreshing to meet someone, my dear.

All this new money around here
makes one more depressed than one can say.

Well, I'll never be able to thank you
for rescuing me from those dreadful people from Los Angeles.

Oh, I despise Los Angeles
after living in Grosse Pointe and Boston.

You know, I am surprised
that we have never met there.

I used to live in Poughkeepsie.

Did you see Ron and Nancy
at the Senators' ball?

My dear, somebody should tell her
that red is really simply outré.

Wasn't Ron adorable?

Ziggy, dear heart.

I do wish these people
would leave one alone.

Who is that dreadful woman?

[Ben]
Cousin Clara. I never met her before.

Must be from your side
of the family, sport.

My cousin?
I thought she was your cousin.

- Oh.
- Oh, dear.

She must be a party crasher.

Or worse.
She sure isn't family. Well, we thought you should know.

Mmm. Thanks.

I appreciate it.
Come on, Ziggy. Let's go score some chicks.

Oh, dear.

Somehow I can't believe that
that poor woman is a murderer. Mmm.

Well, if that doesn't beat all.

- [Jessica]
Have you found the caterer? - No, Gregory Holden.

Gregory who?
The retired chief of police. How'd he get invited?

That's what I'd like to know.
Hey, Gregory!

Good to see you.
Ah, good to see you.

[Slocum]
Hi.

Aunt Clara?

I just adore weddings, don't you?
Oh, yes.

Everybody dressed up, and the flowers
are so pretty, and the food, and-

Donna is gonna make
such a beautiful bride. Of course she is.

I think that white looks so becoming
on girls with dark complexion, don't you think?

Oh, my, yes.
Uh, I had dark hair, you know.

Clara, Donna's hair is blonde.

Oh.
[Chuckles] So was mine.

Clara, I don't really think that
you're anybody's cousin, are you?

Well, I do have some
third cousins in North Dakota,

but I've never really met them.

I'm afraid everybody else is gone.

Oh, I do love a good party.

So you just invite yourself
now and then.

Well, l- I just tell them I'm a relative.

They never question.
Not ever.

It's, uh, not much fun
being alone, you know.

No, it isn't.

Do you know when they're
gonna start serving the food?

I always bring my biggest purse
just in case the food is really good.

[Sobbing]
I remember when you were just a little girl.

Oh, Mother, don't.
You'll get me going too.

And I had hips your size.
[Sobs]

You know, dear, I'm so glad
you decided to take my advice...

and not marry Wilfred.
What?

I always knew
he'd turn out peculiar.

But, Mother,
you always loved Wilfred.

Now, your Grady-
There's a sweet young man.

Oh, Mother.

Oh, get a tissue quick. Quick.

Or your mascara will look
like snail tracks.

- [Gasps] Mother.
- Yes, dear?

Oh, I know that look, dear.

You know, I was frightened, too,
the day I married your father.

No, Mother, it's Harriet.
She's in my bathroom!

Well, finally!
We've been looking all over for her.

Come on. Come on.

No, this way. This way.

No, I'm sorry, Mr. Laughlin,
I'm not mistaken.

I'm sure I heard you threatening
Harriet this morning.

Okay, okay,
so I shot off my mouth.

You think I'm gonna zip somebody
to cater a wedding?

A bar mitzvah, maybe.

Well, the food looks delicious.
You obviously managed to get it cooked somewhere.

- Yeah. I got the people next door
to let me use their kitchen. - Oh, how did you manage that, Kyle?

I invited them to the wedding.
What?

What did you say?
You invited the Morgans?

Yeah. They were kind of ticked off
you hadn't asked them.

You idiot!
What?

The man's my biggest competitor.
He's probably out there right now stealing my clients.

What do you think this is,
a social affair? [Scoffs]

That man is mad.
The Morgans are vultures.

[Woman Screaming]

[Screaming]

[Screams]

[Panting]
I thought it was a bathroom.

And I thought the door was locked.
I told Grady to do it. I'm gonna kill him.

Franklin, who was that woman?

Nobody, Mrs. Pentworth.
Absolutely nobody.

As much as I adore your sweet
little daughter, Franklin,

this whole business is-
is much more than I can bear.

My late husband used to tell me,

"Belle, travel to the west side
of the Hudson at your own peril."

Uh, I'm afraid
you can't leave, ma'am.

Listen to me, Slocum, and you listen good.
I give the orders here, do you understand?

And Mrs. Pentworth stays!

But I wish to leave.
That's right. She leaves. If you have to.

And the wedding goes on when
I say it goes on, do you understand?

I plan to make an arrest
within 24 hours.

Twenty-four hours? Are you crazy?
The food will spoil! The guests will spoil!

Why do these things
always happen to me?

On Donna's graduation day,
I got stuck on the Tappan Zee Bridge. And now this.

But, Maisie, Donna did graduate,
and she is going to get married.

Aspirin. I simply must
have some aspirin.

Somebody send to
the drugstore for some aspirin.

It's closed on Sundays, ma'am,
but I think I've got some in my car.

Excuse me, Chief.
Is that Pop's Drugstore that's closed on Sunday?

Sure. Where else?
This isn't downtown Chicago, you know.

Yes, well, then how did Wilfred
purchase the box of candy there today?

So you did come
into town yesterday?

Yeah.

Okay.
So what?

Well, then- I'm not accusing you
of anything, you understand,

uh, but it does mean
that you were capable,

time-wise, of seeing Harriet
earlier today.

Yes, but, Chief, if Wilfred had
been on the premises and then left,

I mean, the security guard
would have noticed.

That's right. Right.

Uh, well- Uh-
[Clears Throat]

Listen, Wil,

there's, uh,
no need to tell your parents about our little chat.

My parents.
They don't know I'm here, do they?

Excuse me. I gotta split.

Why would he lie about
being out of town yesterday?

You know, I think
that Wilfred is really frightened that his parents will find out...

- that he was in town
but that he never went to visit them. - But why?

Well, evidently, you can
take the boy out of the suburbs,

but you can't take the suburbs
out of the boy.

That's the third time
they're playing the "Bunny Hop," We're not even married yet.

I don't know, Grady.
[Sighs]

Maybe you're right.
Maybe we should just elope.

[Knocking]
Come in.

Well, I'm sorry.
I hate to admit it, but I am stumped.

Nobody, and I mean nobody
in this house has a real motive for killing Harriet.

But something keeps bothering me.

You see, it looked as if
Harriet recognized Ziggy last night when they were introduced.

But Harriet never worked
in Greensboro.

Donna, Ziggy never lived
anywhere else, did he?

Are you kidding?
He hardly ever even leaves the house.

Well, maybe it was Valerie
whom Harriet recognized. Oh, it couldn't have been.

Harriet didn't even know her.
She thought that Valerie was somebody named Mrs. Parker.

Mrs. Parker?

- Mm-hmm.
- Donna, are you saying that Harriet called Valerie "Mrs. Parker"?

Oh, yes, just this morning
in the kitchen.

Grosse Pointe.

What is goin' on?

You were right, Mrs. Fletcher.
That phone call you suggested I make to Grosse Pointe proved it.

Wh- Right about what?

That you killed Harriet Lundgren.
I just found this in your window seat.

Well, now, I have never
seen that before. [Chuckles]

Do you honestly believe that
I need to steal wedding gifts?

No, but I do believe that you had to
think of something very quickly...

to create a false motive
for Harriet's murder.

Well, why on earth would
I murder this Harriet person?

I didn't even know her.

Oh, but you did, Valerie,

and she knew you,
but under a different name.

She recognized you
as a woman called Mrs. Parker...

for whom she worked briefly
in Grosse Pointe.

Yeah. It seems Mr. Parker
died several years ago...

under mysterious circumstances.

A couple of weeks after the funeral,
his wife disappeared with the insurance money.

And you think that
I am that woman?

The way I've got it figured-
Oh, be careful, sir,

unless you relish
a very expensive lawsuit.

Actually, the way
Mrs. Fletcher has it figured,

the housekeeper might have
threatened to blackmail or expose you.

You stabbed her in the kitchen,
then planted that wrapping paper in her hand when you moved the body,

kind of as a, uh, misdirection.

[Chuckles]
Where I come from, Jessica darlin',

that is called speculation.

And no little old weddin'gift
is gonna prove anything.

Maybe not. But the police detective
who covered the case in Grosse Pointe...

is on his way here right now...

to identify you.

Well, in that case, then,

I shall refrain
from saying another word until I speak to my lawyer.

##[Organ: "Here Comes The Bride"]

Dearly beloved, we are
gathered here together- [Shutter Clicks]

To witness the union
of two kindred spirits,

the joining in matrimony
of Grady and Donna- [Shutter Clicks]

As they prepare to tread
the pathway of life, hand in hand,

cleaved one to the other
in this most holy of God's estates.

If there's any person here
who knows of any reason...

why they should not be
united in wedlock,

let him come forward now
or forever hold his peace.

- Do you, Grady Ambrose Fletcher-
- [Sighs]

Take this woman, Donna,
to be your lawfully wedded wife,

to love, honor and cherish her,
in sickness and in health,

- for richer or for poorer,
so long as you both shall live? - I do.

And do you,
Donna Marie Mayberry,

take this man, Grady,
to be your lawfully wedded husband,

to love, honor and cherish him,
in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer,

so long as you both shall live?
I do.

Then by the power vested in me
by the state of New York,

I declare you husband and wife.

- [Gasps]
- You may kiss the bride.

[Chattering]

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