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00:00:02,937 --> 00:00:06,205
"Battle." "Fight."
2
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:10,009
"Win." "Lose."
3
00:00:10,044 --> 00:00:11,677
These are the words we use
4
00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:15,247
when someone is diagnosed
with an illness or a disease.
5
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:20,052
* No wind, no rain *
6
00:00:20,087 --> 00:00:23,655
* Or winter's cold *
7
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:26,859
* Can stop me, baby *
8
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:29,228
* Oh, baby *
9
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:32,431
* If you're my goal *
10
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:36,568
* Ah, ah, ah, ah *
11
00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:38,771
We use militarized language
12
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:40,773
that implies
it's a fair fight.
13
00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,947
God grant me the serenity
14
00:00:48,983 --> 00:00:51,950
to accept the things
I cannot change,
15
00:00:51,986 --> 00:00:55,054
the courage to change
the things I can,
16
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,456
and the wisdom
to know the difference.
17
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,258
But when it comes
to life and death,
18
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:01,960
what does winning
really look like?
19
00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:03,562
Is a person a loser for dying
20
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,964
when the outcome isn't really
in their control...
21
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,766
Oh. Damn it.
22
00:01:07,802 --> 00:01:09,368
If any patients
see you like that,
23
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,236
they might go
to another hospital.
24
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:12,337
Always gets me
in the mood.
25
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:13,939
Plus, you know, I'm seeing
what daylight feels like
26
00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:14,973
while I still can.
27
00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:15,941
How's Catherine?
28
00:01:15,976 --> 00:01:17,643
She's ready.
29
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:18,877
And you?
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
30
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,281
Ah.
31
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,883
Funny bone.
Not as easy as it looks.
32
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,054
Okay, then.
I have real patients,
33
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,757
so, you know,
good luck with... all this.
34
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,662
I'm messing with you.
35
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:39,631
You're gonna do great.
You and Amelia.
36
00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:41,834
You're ready.
37
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:42,968
Charley horse.
38
00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:52,444
There he is.
Thought you might need this.
39
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,646
Oh. No, thanks.
But I'm... I'm good.
40
00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:56,849
I'm running late
for Catherine's scans.
41
00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,984
Okay, well, I have cleared
all my surgeries today
42
00:01:59,019 --> 00:01:59,852
and shored up child care,
43
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:00,819
so I'm here for you,
whatever you need,
44
00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:02,855
- whenever you need it.
- Like I said, I'm good.
45
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:06,091
Okay, Richard,
it's gonna be a very long day.
46
00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:09,661
Look, Meredith,
I have plenty of doctors
47
00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,196
and plenty of friends
looking out for me.
48
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:14,099
You know who doesn't?
Your father.
49
00:02:14,135 --> 00:02:17,269
Molly had to get back to Bahrain
with her kids.
50
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,871
He's all alone.
51
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,873
And I will make time
to see Thatcher this week,
52
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,941
but today is all
about you and Catherine.
53
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:24,343
Meredith, Thatcher may not
have a week.
54
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:28,347
Now, I know it's never been easy
between you two,
55
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,549
but the time to change that
is running out.
56
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:33,952
Excuse me.
57
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:45,728
www.subtitulamos.tv
58
00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:49,968
Oh, I'm sorry
I missed your scan.
59
00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:53,172
Oh, please.
I went in. I came out.
60
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:54,540
Same as the first
million times.
61
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,308
Well, I could have
been there for you.
62
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,143
You had a good excuse.
63
00:02:58,179 --> 00:03:01,046
There's my girl!
64
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:04,249
There's my girl!
65
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:05,817
Let me get her for you.
Relax.
66
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:07,753
Do you want to go
to Grandma?
67
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:10,756
Say, "Hi, Grandma."
"Hi, Grandma."
68
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,758
Hey!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
69
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,760
Did Koracick re-check
the CT angio?
70
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,762
Yes, and please stop.
71
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,764
I appreciate both of you
wanting to be a part of this,
72
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:21,166
but I have
a crackerjack neuro team.
73
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:23,402
I need you to be my husband
and my son today.
74
00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:27,039
And we need you
to be our patient.
75
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:29,208
Hmm, Thomas, you're getting
ready to cut open my spine.
76
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,109
I will be whatever I want.
77
00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:32,911
Oh. Music to my ears.
78
00:03:32,947 --> 00:03:35,414
Now, we will go in
posteriorly
79
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:36,281
with our stealth system
80
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:38,917
and our newly pilfered
ORBEYE scope.
81
00:03:38,953 --> 00:03:42,554
The plan is to go in
and remove it en bloc.
82
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:43,956
And you really think
that posteriorly
83
00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,057
is the way to go?
84
00:03:45,092 --> 00:03:47,292
Oh, it is fun to have so many
surgeons in one family.
85
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,393
Remind me, Avery...
86
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:51,029
when did you become
double board certified in neuro?
87
00:03:51,065 --> 00:03:52,598
That's really how you talk
to your patient's family?
88
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:53,699
It is, actually.
89
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:58,136
We need to go in posteriorly
90
00:03:58,172 --> 00:04:00,138
to avoid the carotid
and the jugular,
91
00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:03,242
and to avoid having to weave
through the brachial plexus.
92
00:04:03,277 --> 00:04:05,210
Look, I know how hard
it is to be on the bench,
93
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:07,045
but we are the A-Team.
And we don't lose.
94
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:10,048
Just ask Shepherd's tumor.
Oh, wait, you can't.
95
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,084
Because I removed it.
Flawlessly.
96
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:14,553
Okay, any last questions?
97
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,155
Um... it looks like
you've got this.
98
00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:18,624
We do.
99
00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:21,627
Mm-hmm.
100
00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:22,995
I'm good.
101
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:25,998
But, you know, I-I um...
102
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:30,402
I think I'd like to
just take a little walk
103
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,104
before we get started.
104
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:34,640
I'd be happy to...
Oh, no, honey.
105
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:37,242
I want to go alone.
106
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,844
Okay, then,
but no guarantees
107
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,245
I won't watch you walk away.
108
00:04:40,281 --> 00:04:41,847
You always do.
109
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:19,151
Hi. I'm...
110
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,519
Meredith?
111
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:21,820
Yeah.
112
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:22,587
I'm sorry.
113
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:25,123
You look just like
your picture.
114
00:05:25,159 --> 00:05:27,292
You're the surgeon,
right?
115
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:29,127
Yeah.
116
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:33,332
Uh, do you
want to come in?
117
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:36,068
That's a loaded question.
118
00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:47,079
I'm not sure
if he's awake.
119
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:48,480
He sleeps more and more
these days
120
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,881
as you can imagine.
121
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:52,084
Uh, can I get
you something?
122
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:54,252
Water? Gin, maybe?
123
00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:59,224
All right.
124
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:02,494
Thatcher? You have a visitor.
125
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,938
Meredith!
126
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,274
Hi...
127
00:06:18,312 --> 00:06:19,745
Hi.
128
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:24,683
He's not on any pain meds.
Clean and sober.
129
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,550
His wishes.
130
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:27,953
So, just the oxygen,
if he needs it.
131
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,154
But you know
how that works.
132
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:31,156
I do.
133
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,591
Well,
I'll leave you to it.
134
00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:33,992
My cellphone number
is on the fridge.
135
00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:35,861
If you need anything,
give me a call.
136
00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:51,243
I probably
can't stay very long.
137
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,779
I just...
138
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,817
There's so much to say,
I-I...
139
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,852
I don't know what to say.
140
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:04,656
I didn't come here
to say anything
141
00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,658
or to hear you
say anything to me, so...
142
00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:08,593
we can just sit,
if that's okay.
143
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:10,662
Okay.
144
00:07:43,864 --> 00:07:45,664
Mom.
145
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,833
I was looking for you.
146
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,638
You know I give Amelia
and Koracick a hard time,
147
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,474
but they're the best.
148
00:07:55,509 --> 00:07:58,043
I was thinking about
my first surgery.
149
00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:01,480
The very first time
I held a scalpel in my hand.
150
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:04,816
It was a simple lipoma,
but I was terrified.
151
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:06,585
Hmm.
152
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:09,354
I expected to feel
so powerful, invincible.
153
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:10,722
But the second
that scrub nurse
154
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:13,358
put that 10 blade in my hand,
155
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:14,659
I went ice cold.
156
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:17,028
Okay, so then
what did you do?
157
00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:20,265
Diana Ross.
"Ain't No Mountain High Enough."
158
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,501
The first time
I heard that song,
159
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:25,670
it just filled me with joy
and such calm...
160
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:26,671
so I just sang it
161
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:29,441
over and over and over
in my head, in that O.R.,
162
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:33,378
until that same sense of calm
and joy washed over me.
163
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:34,946
And it's been
my secret weapon
164
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:36,948
for everything
that's ever scared me...
165
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:38,250
my first surgery.
166
00:08:38,285 --> 00:08:40,685
Labor with you,
it was on an endless loop.
167
00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:46,224
Every PET scan, every MRI.
168
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,028
I remember you singing that song
in the kitchen
169
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,596
when I was doing
my homework.
170
00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,632
You told me
it was old people music.
171
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,233
You wanted Michael Jackson.
172
00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:57,302
I love me some Michael.
Ooh.
173
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,604
I had to pry that
red leather jacket off of you
174
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:00,772
to get you to go to bed
at night.
175
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:03,208
Ah, that's true.
176
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:04,976
Oh.
177
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,811
I guess I used to do
the same thing.
178
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:09,814
My first surgery,
I sang a song in my head.
179
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,384
I mean, it calmed me, you know?
I know.
180
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,752
I watched you.
181
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:16,154
My first...
How did you watch?
182
00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:18,757
Child, please.
I am Catherine Fox.
183
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:19,958
Do you think there's a world
184
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,593
where I wouldn't
sneak into the gallery
185
00:09:21,628 --> 00:09:23,428
of my baby's first surgery?
186
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:25,630
Oh, you were a sight
to see...
187
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,632
Mm.
188
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:30,735
I bet Harriet does
the same thing someday.
189
00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:34,506
Well, I'll be sneaking up
into the gallery with you, then.
190
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:37,309
Deal.
191
00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:40,011
That's a deal.
192
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:43,014
Now, can we please get you
to your room?
193
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:45,417
Not yet.
194
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:46,217
Mom...
195
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,520
I left the foundation
in your name,
196
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:50,322
just in case
anything happens to me.
197
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:52,324
Cecilia runs
the day-to-day operations,
198
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,925
Charlie keeps
the books humming,
199
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,928
but they'll need a leader,
a North Star.
200
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:58,697
And in the event that I'm left
totally paralyzed...
201
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,532
Mom, even if
you can't operate,
202
00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:01,800
you're still gonna run
the foundation, okay?
203
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:02,801
You'll teach.
204
00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,803
You're Catherine Fox.
What are you gonna do?
205
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,004
You're gonna be all up
in my business
206
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,072
and everybody else's.
207
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,540
We both know you're gonna
find a way to do that.
208
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,775
Keep this.
Turn the page.
209
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:13,178
I've already...
Turn the page.
210
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:16,448
You planned
your own party?
211
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:17,582
Mom.
212
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:20,619
If I get out of this alive,
the fun we're gonna have...
213
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,988
and don't you even think about
scrimping on those egg rolls.
214
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:24,623
You know
they're my favorite.
215
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:28,193
You really
planned everything.
216
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:30,996
I always do.
217
00:10:31,031 --> 00:10:32,197
All right, then.
218
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:35,400
Shall we?
219
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,010
Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe.
220
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:48,213
Phillip put these everywhere
for me.
221
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,348
He said it's supposed to
be soothing.
222
00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:51,916
Truth be told,
223
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:53,718
it just makes me
miss it more.
224
00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,722
A few years back,
a student told me about
225
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:01,660
a semester he took abroad
building schools.
226
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:05,830
Lexie was gone,
and I thought I could either
227
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,432
drown my grief
in a bottle of Scotch
228
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:09,868
or do something.
So I did something.
229
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:14,873
In Zimbabwe.
230
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:19,711
The sunsets, Meredith...
and the quiet.
231
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:22,580
The people that I met,
they have this passion
232
00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:26,851
for life, loving,
learning...
233
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,757
And then you got sick.
234
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,926
I thought
I'd just come home,
235
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:36,561
do whatever treatment
I needed to do,
236
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:39,764
and then go back, but...
It was good. Coming home.
237
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:44,436
It gave me a chance to...
It was the right thing to do.
238
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:50,275
You went and got
a whole new life.
239
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,043
I did.
240
00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:55,480
I'm glad for you.
241
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:58,049
I'm glad you saw sunsets
and built schools
242
00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,885
for people who needed them
and you stayed sober.
243
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:02,487
You went and got
a whole new life.
244
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:06,958
Halfway across the world
this time.
245
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:07,759
But you didn't give a damn
246
00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:09,728
about the people
you left behind.
247
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,300
Say it again.
248
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:18,103
We make an incision posteriorly
from C3 to T4,
249
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:19,504
and then use
the stealth probe
250
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:21,106
to mark the coordinates
of the tumor.
251
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:22,941
And then do
partial laminectomies
252
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,744
to access the tumor
and remove it en bloc.
253
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:26,911
Perfect. Brilliant.
254
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:28,313
We are incredible.
255
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,748
Someone should really do
a study on us.
256
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:33,685
Okay, say it.
257
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,087
What? Wh... Oh. No.
258
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:38,456
Ha ha! I'm good.
259
00:12:38,492 --> 00:12:41,025
Good, good, good, good.
Big Gun.
260
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,827
Ready to Big Gun the crap
out of this tumor.
261
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,031
Damn it.
262
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:48,933
Even my arrogance is off.
Right?
263
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,935
Right.
264
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,937
W-What if we try, uh,
your thing?
265
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,340
You know, the... the word-vomit
and the feelings?
266
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,709
That seems to work.
For you.
267
00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:58,977
Okay.
268
00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,812
You... you first.
269
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,616
This is the largest tumor
I've ever seen
270
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,017
on the biggest legend
I've ever known,
271
00:13:06,052 --> 00:13:08,019
and if I screw this up,
I'm gonna have to live out
272
00:13:08,054 --> 00:13:08,987
the rest of my
ill-fated surgical career
273
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:09,954
fixing idiot teenagers
274
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,389
who get hurt cow-tipping
in Lawrence, Kansas,
275
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:12,624
'cause I can't look
Richard in the eye
276
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,058
knowing I gorked
his legend wife.
277
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:16,127
That is specific.
278
00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,896
Well... I'm saying,
279
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,064
- how do you get hurt cow-tipping?
- It's a thing.
280
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,801
Just... You. Go.
281
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:25,170
Uh, Catherine Fox is an icon,
and a magician,
282
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:26,805
and a giant among men...
283
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,807
and not just
for the reasons you think.
284
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,375
She's saved more penises
in her O.R.
285
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:31,810
than any surgeon
on the planet.
286
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:32,944
And all I keep imagining
287
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,579
are the dozens of men
with zero-functioning penises,
288
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:35,980
doomed to live out
their sexless lives
289
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:37,849
if I botch this surgery.
290
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:40,185
That's what
you're worried about?
291
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,586
Men and their junk?
292
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:44,222
That,
and if I lose her...
293
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,059
I've lost enough.
294
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:50,895
So let's keep her alive.
295
00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,699
Let's keep her alive.
296
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:11,049
I told them I didn't need
a personal escort
297
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:12,784
to my own surgery.
298
00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,185
Well,
that's just making sure
299
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:16,020
you don't make a break
for it.
300
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,022
Thomas,
make sure that I wake up
301
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:21,025
with good motor
and nerve function.
302
00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,962
And don't forget
to get clean margins.
303
00:14:23,997 --> 00:14:24,963
I wouldn't dream of it.
304
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,397
And would
you tell my husband
305
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,566
he does not have to sit up
in that gallery all day?
306
00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:29,567
"For better, for worse"
307
00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:31,970
does not include
seeing your wife's insides.
308
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,605
You know,
you wouldn't be you
309
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,406
if you weren't
bossing us all around
310
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:37,041
up until
the last second.
311
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:40,078
You nervous?
312
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,446
Were you?
313
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:44,883
A little bit.
But I turned out just fine.
314
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:45,984
That's because
I was perfect,
315
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:48,319
which I'm willing
to be again.
316
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:49,454
Well, you better be.
317
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:50,889
Oh, Richard,
I always liked you.
318
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,156
No, you didn't.
319
00:14:52,192 --> 00:14:53,958
And I'm fine
as long as she's fine.
320
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:56,427
Okay, okay, can I have a minute
with my husband, please?
321
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:18,850
I will see you...
when I wake up.
322
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:20,752
Jackson?
323
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,954
Where's Jackson?
324
00:15:24,858 --> 00:15:25,823
* Oh, oh, oh, oh *
325
00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:27,025
One for the road?
326
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:30,028
Oh, ha ha!
My baby!
327
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:33,431
* Oh, oh, oh, oh *
328
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:47,445
* If you need me *
329
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,014
* Call me *
330
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,283
* No matter where you are *
331
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,285
* No matter how far *
332
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,721
* No wind *
* No wind *
333
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:58,323
* No rain *
* No rain *
334
00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:01,159
* Can stop me, babe *
335
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:04,228
* If you're my goal *
336
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:09,233
* Oh, oh, oh, oh *
337
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:11,903
* Ain't no mountain
high enough *
338
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:14,372
* Ain't no valley low enough *
* Ooh, ooh-ooh *
339
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,407
* Ain't no river
wide enough *
340
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:19,177
* To keep me from you *
341
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:24,215
* Ain't no mountain
high enough *
342
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:29,187
* Nothing can keep me,
keep me from you *
343
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:31,389
* Ain't no mountain high enough
to keep me from you *
344
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:41,199
* You've been running
all over town *
345
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:44,402
Just like that,
we are ready to navigate.
346
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:47,405
Don't you want to
confirm the accuracy first?
347
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,840
Oh, what would I do
without someone hee
348
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,842
to remind me
of the obvious?
349
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:53,478
I'm just saying,
maybe a little less music,
350
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:54,512
a little more concentration.
351
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:58,850
* All you want to do
is ride around, Sally *
352
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:01,486
* Ride, Sally, ride *
353
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,920
Whoo!
354
00:17:02,956 --> 00:17:05,556
This is going to be
a long day.
355
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:09,727
And you are gonna love
every minute of it.
356
00:17:09,763 --> 00:17:11,562
We're gonna get don
in there.
357
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,164
Get down and dirt.
Here we go.
358
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,733
* All you want to do
is ride around, Sally *
359
00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:20,104
* Ride, Sally, ride *
360
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:24,008
* All you want to do
is ride around, Sally*
361
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,276
Mind if I join you?
362
00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:26,878
* Ride, Sally, ride *
363
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:28,246
I'd like that.
364
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:31,682
* One of these early mornings *
365
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,051
* I'm gonna be wiping
those weeping eyes *
366
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:35,420
How's the resection
going?
367
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:37,288
So far so good.
368
00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:39,590
Come on.
Let it loose. Let it out.
369
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,592
Are you sure you don't want
to be in the waiting room?
370
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,461
I can watch, and I can report
back to you guys.
371
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:46,064
No, I'm fine right where I am.
I-I'm good.
372
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,598
* I bought you
a brand-new mustang *
373
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,402
Do it with me.
Come on, now.
374
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,404
You're mad.
375
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,605
I'm not mad.
376
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:56,974
Meredith...
377
00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:58,643
Fine. I'm mad.
378
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,478
Because I moved away.
379
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,480
Because you ran away.
380
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:05,583
Because you have never fought
for anyone or anything
381
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,785
that you cared for
in your life.
382
00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:09,787
You just disappear.
383
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:12,623
When I gave you
a piece of my liver,
384
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,325
you said we would try,
right?
385
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:16,561
You said we could
get to know each other.
386
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,464
You didn't try.
You didn't fight.
387
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:20,731
And when Lexie died...
388
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,333
I know. I know.
No, you don't know,
389
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:23,501
because you weren't here.
390
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:26,737
I lost my sister.
I lost my husband.
391
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,573
And you were
nowhere to be found.
392
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:29,507
That's not...
393
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:33,010
Meredith, I was there
after Derek died.
394
00:18:33,046 --> 00:18:34,445
No, why would you say
something like that?
395
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,447
Because it's the truth,
Meredith.
396
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,416
Richard told me Derek died.
I bought a ticket.
397
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,350
I flew all day,
all night.
398
00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:42,153
I got to the funeral just...
just in time.
399
00:18:42,188 --> 00:18:44,188
I stood a few rows back.
400
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:46,991
Next to some of your doctor
friends from the hospital.
401
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:49,794
I would remember
if you were at his funeral.
402
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:50,795
I was there, Meredith.
403
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:53,598
But you were barely there.
You were a ghost.
404
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:56,801
You looked like me
when I lost Susan and Lexie.
405
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:58,703
Are you saying
you came to the funeral
406
00:18:58,738 --> 00:18:59,770
and didn't speak to me?
407
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,540
I felt like it would...
would have been for me,
408
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:05,143
- not...
- not... not...
409
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:08,346
for...
for you.
410
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,616
Let's get you
to the bed.
411
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:37,542
I came home, Meredith.
For you.
412
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:49,520
* And you're standing
here beside me *
413
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,522
This microscope
is a game changer.
414
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:52,590
I know. I feel like I could
just walk into the screen
415
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:55,426
and surf
on the spinal cor.
416
00:19:55,461 --> 00:19:58,663
* Never for money,
always for love *
417
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:02,233
* Cover up
and say goodnight *
418
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:03,568
* Say goodnight *
419
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,403
All right...
420
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:09,707
it looks like we are clear
to remove the tumor en bloc.
421
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:12,577
Except... hang on.
422
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,347
I can't get it free.
423
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,882
Okay, then.
Time to suck and pluc.
424
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:18,983
- I'm sorry, what?
- The tumor's like a grape.
425
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:21,052
You suck out the inside,
then you pluck out the skin.
426
00:20:21,087 --> 00:20:22,453
Suck and pluck.
427
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:24,188
- Could you call it something else?
- Like what?
428
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:26,958
Literally anything else.
429
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,528
I hate this dude.
430
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,730
-Jackson, sit.
-No, I hate him. For real.
431
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:33,464
I want to jump
through this glass
432
00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:35,299
and just, like,
choke him out.
433
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:36,100
He is bopping.
434
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,202
He's bopping
over my mom's spine.
435
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,971
I mean, who does that?
Maybe you should take a walk.
436
00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:42,206
I'm gonna take a walk now.
437
00:20:45,511 --> 00:20:49,447
Richard, this can't be good
for you either.
438
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:53,985
The first year or so
Catherine and I were together,
439
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:56,387
we figured out how to make
the long distance work
440
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:58,656
because we'd promise
to show up
441
00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:00,925
whenever we needed,
however we needed.
442
00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,127
It's what you do
for the people you love.
443
00:21:03,162 --> 00:21:05,896
She may fuss,
444
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:09,667
but I don't need to ask her
where she wants me to be.
445
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:11,769
I'm already here.
446
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:13,771
* Make it up as we go along *
447
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,573
Are you okay if I...
448
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,308
It's fine. Go.
449
00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:18,909
* Head in the sky *
450
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:22,580
* It's okay,
I know nothing's wrong *
451
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:25,650
* Nothing's wrong, oh *
452
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,652
* I got plenty of time *
453
00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:30,855
You gonna lecture me, too,
on how I shouldn't be here?
454
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:31,889
You shouldn't be.
455
00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:33,924
* Oh, you got light
in your eyes *
456
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,294
But that's not my call.
457
00:21:36,329 --> 00:21:39,263
It's not decompressing.
What do you mean
458
00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:40,865
It's too dense,
like it's made of...
459
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:42,166
I don't know what...
cartilage,
460
00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:45,369
small chips
of hard calcifications.
461
00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:47,104
Damn it.
I can't get it either.
462
00:21:47,140 --> 00:21:48,372
Kill the music.
463
00:21:52,512 --> 00:21:54,478
We need to go in
from the front.
464
00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:56,714
Her spine is open.
465
00:21:56,749 --> 00:21:58,182
It's all exposed.
466
00:21:58,217 --> 00:21:59,183
If we move her,
467
00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:01,719
we risk losing function
in her forearm and hand.
468
00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:02,720
It's the only way.
469
00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:06,057
Okay, well, let me ask you
one question first...
470
00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:07,958
Are you insane?
We close up the incision.
471
00:22:07,994 --> 00:22:09,360
We flip her onto her side.
I go in from the front.
472
00:22:09,395 --> 00:22:10,795
We meet in the middle
to decompress
473
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:11,662
and unearth this thing.
474
00:22:11,698 --> 00:22:12,897
So the answer is yes,
you are insane.
475
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:14,865
We'll get a few more peope
in here, we can flip her.
476
00:22:14,901 --> 00:22:16,467
And keep her still
and not sever her spine?
477
00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:18,235
Not to mention having
to break scrub,
478
00:22:18,271 --> 00:22:20,338
- re-drape, rescrub...
- Cow-tipping in Kansas!
479
00:22:20,373 --> 00:22:21,472
Dozens of sexless men!
480
00:22:21,507 --> 00:22:23,341
If it were you again
on the table,
481
00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:24,709
what would you want?
482
00:22:33,219 --> 00:22:34,919
For the record,
I do not like you.
483
00:22:39,125 --> 00:22:40,524
Shut down the gallery.
484
00:22:52,338 --> 00:22:53,938
There you are.
485
00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:07,151
Mom's always been
larger than life, you know?
486
00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:10,521
Laughs harder,
yells louder than anyone.
487
00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:12,723
She's the life of the party.
488
00:23:12,759 --> 00:23:14,158
Even if it's
my birthday party
489
00:23:14,193 --> 00:23:15,726
and she's taking over
the dance floor.
490
00:23:17,363 --> 00:23:18,963
Sounds amazing.
491
00:23:18,998 --> 00:23:20,364
I was 16. It was mortifying.
492
00:23:22,168 --> 00:23:25,336
She'd always do that.
493
00:23:25,371 --> 00:23:26,270
She always inserted herself
494
00:23:26,305 --> 00:23:29,140
in every single aspect
of my life, you know,
495
00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:30,074
whether I wanted her to
or not...
496
00:23:30,109 --> 00:23:33,844
Hell, whether I even knew
about it or not.
497
00:23:35,281 --> 00:23:37,114
And, um...
498
00:23:40,553 --> 00:23:44,355
Now I can't, uh...
499
00:23:44,390 --> 00:23:48,526
I can't imagine what a room
would even feel like
500
00:23:48,561 --> 00:23:54,165
without her in it
taking up all that space.
501
00:23:54,200 --> 00:24:00,304
It was different...
losing Samuel.
502
00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:08,379
That was more like...
503
00:24:08,414 --> 00:24:10,548
like my world collapsing
around me, you know?
504
00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:12,383
And this, I just...
505
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:19,490
I feel like...
a scared little kid.
506
00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:27,898
Like nothing is safe.
507
00:24:27,934 --> 00:24:29,300
Like the world's
upside down
508
00:24:29,335 --> 00:24:31,101
and nothing makes any sense
anymore.
509
00:24:31,137 --> 00:24:33,304
Yeah. Yeah.
510
00:24:33,339 --> 00:24:36,140
I don't like it.
I know.
511
00:24:36,175 --> 00:24:40,311
I don't like it.
I know. I know.
512
00:24:59,198 --> 00:25:01,966
Okay.
Let's rock and roll.
513
00:25:02,001 --> 00:25:06,504
On my count,
one, two, three.
514
00:25:09,475 --> 00:25:11,976
Good, good, good.
Easy.
515
00:25:24,390 --> 00:25:25,956
Let's secure her hips.
516
00:25:32,565 --> 00:25:33,964
She's good.
517
00:25:37,136 --> 00:25:39,870
Okay, they did it.
She's okay.
518
00:25:59,091 --> 00:26:00,291
You ready, Bokie?
519
00:26:03,596 --> 00:26:05,229
Okay.
Deep breath, everybody.
520
00:26:05,264 --> 00:26:06,463
Scalpel.
521
00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:22,379
Dr. Koracick?
522
00:26:25,184 --> 00:26:26,283
Tom.
523
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:29,320
I think
I'm gonna have trouble
524
00:26:29,355 --> 00:26:31,488
getting around
the C7 facet
525
00:26:31,524 --> 00:26:34,425
while keeping the tumor
retracted from this angle.
526
00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:35,759
Maybe you could give it
a try?
527
00:26:39,599 --> 00:26:42,499
Please,
I could do that in my sleep.
528
00:26:42,535 --> 00:26:43,434
Show off.
529
00:26:54,580 --> 00:26:56,347
-Scalpel.
-Scalpel.
530
00:27:10,563 --> 00:27:13,130
Is that when you and Richard
started talking?
531
00:27:13,165 --> 00:27:14,531
After the funeral?
532
00:27:19,939 --> 00:27:22,306
I tried calling you.
533
00:27:22,341 --> 00:27:23,907
You never called back.
534
00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:25,109
And I worried.
535
00:27:25,144 --> 00:27:28,746
At first,
I was just checking in on you.
536
00:27:30,249 --> 00:27:33,784
Mm, Richard and I started...
537
00:27:33,819 --> 00:27:35,786
...talking about
a lot of things.
538
00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:39,223
We both had amends to make.
539
00:27:39,258 --> 00:27:40,991
There are so many things
540
00:27:41,027 --> 00:27:44,461
I could say I'm sorry for,
Meredith.
541
00:27:44,497 --> 00:27:48,999
But all I really want to say
is thank you.
542
00:27:49,035 --> 00:27:51,402
Thank you for what?
543
00:27:53,005 --> 00:27:57,841
For so long,
I measured my life
544
00:27:57,877 --> 00:28:03,447
in the things done to me,
taken from me.
545
00:28:03,482 --> 00:28:09,253
Now I can see my life
for exactly what it is.
546
00:28:09,288 --> 00:28:11,655
Some people have
more pain than others.
547
00:28:11,691 --> 00:28:15,025
But no one, nothing,
was conspiring against me.
548
00:28:15,061 --> 00:28:18,829
When you gave me
a piece of your liver,
549
00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:23,600
you gave me time,
precious time.
550
00:28:23,636 --> 00:28:27,504
Time to get your head
out of your own ass?
551
00:28:36,515 --> 00:28:39,483
Y... Y... You could say that.
552
00:28:39,518 --> 00:28:45,956
I had a life, Meredith,
'cause of you.
553
00:28:45,991 --> 00:28:52,529
My own real, honest,
painful, incredible life.
554
00:28:52,565 --> 00:28:57,835
I just wish you
and I could have shared it.
555
00:28:57,870 --> 00:29:02,673
Well, I guess you did
try this time.
556
00:29:02,708 --> 00:29:04,041
I just didn't know.
557
00:29:06,712 --> 00:29:08,245
I miss Lexie.
558
00:29:09,615 --> 00:29:11,548
I miss her so much.
559
00:29:11,584 --> 00:29:15,085
Me too.
560
00:29:15,121 --> 00:29:18,522
I'm sorry you lost her.
561
00:29:18,557 --> 00:29:22,793
I know how much it... it meant
to you, having a sister.
562
00:29:24,730 --> 00:29:26,697
I have another sister.
563
00:29:26,732 --> 00:29:31,502
But you and Molly,
you were never close.
564
00:29:34,707 --> 00:29:36,774
Her name is Maggie.
565
00:29:36,809 --> 00:29:39,176
Oh...
566
00:29:39,211 --> 00:29:41,678
She's brilliant.
And kind.
567
00:29:41,714 --> 00:29:45,582
She's the best of Ellis
and Richard.
568
00:29:45,618 --> 00:29:50,721
Your... Your mother
and Richard had a baby.
569
00:29:56,662 --> 00:30:00,063
At least something good
came from all that.
570
00:30:06,504 --> 00:30:09,706
I'm gonna get
a humpback operating with you.
571
00:30:09,742 --> 00:30:10,908
I'm already standing
on a step stool.
572
00:30:10,943 --> 00:30:11,909
what more do you want
from me?
573
00:30:11,944 --> 00:30:13,177
Heels?
574
00:30:13,212 --> 00:30:15,946
Okay,
it looks like the tumor
575
00:30:15,981 --> 00:30:17,181
is free of
the brachial plexus.
576
00:30:17,216 --> 00:30:18,348
Should we try to pull it out?
577
00:30:18,384 --> 00:30:19,750
Let's do it.
578
00:30:20,786 --> 00:30:22,186
We've lost
all the signal from one arm.
579
00:30:22,221 --> 00:30:24,454
The tumor
is moving pretty easily.
580
00:30:24,490 --> 00:30:25,489
Check your machine.
Could be artifact.
581
00:30:25,524 --> 00:30:28,392
No, there's still a little
tension from my side.
582
00:30:28,427 --> 00:30:31,028
I... I think it's coming
from the root.
583
00:30:31,063 --> 00:30:33,363
Which means there's no way
to remove this without...
584
00:30:33,399 --> 00:30:34,765
Risking paralysis.
585
00:30:37,770 --> 00:30:38,635
If they can't remove
the whole tumor,
586
00:30:38,671 --> 00:30:40,571
they're gonna have to do it
piecemeal.
587
00:30:40,606 --> 00:30:42,206
But then they risk
588
00:30:42,241 --> 00:30:44,241
leaving some of the tumor
behind.
589
00:30:49,014 --> 00:30:50,781
What?
590
00:30:55,487 --> 00:30:56,753
My path pen.
591
00:30:56,789 --> 00:30:58,555
Remove the tumor piecemeal,
592
00:30:58,591 --> 00:31:00,557
and then use the pen
to see if you got it all.
593
00:31:00,593 --> 00:31:02,759
Okay, it hasn't cleared
FDA process yet,
594
00:31:02,795 --> 00:31:06,263
and it isn't on the market,
but I'm telling you, it works.
595
00:31:09,835 --> 00:31:12,169
I really have
always liked you, Richard.
596
00:31:12,204 --> 00:31:14,404
No, you haven't.
597
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,473
Yes. Get it.
598
00:31:24,116 --> 00:31:26,283
And that twitch
over her right eye
599
00:31:26,318 --> 00:31:28,085
when you switched
the ice maker
600
00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:28,919
from cubed to crushed.
601
00:31:28,954 --> 00:31:30,854
"What kind of a monster
crushes ice?
602
00:31:30,890 --> 00:31:32,356
It's uncivilized."
603
00:31:32,391 --> 00:31:34,858
Crushed ice
was uncivilized.
604
00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:36,460
Taking my last cup
of coffee...
605
00:31:36,495 --> 00:31:38,195
uncivilized.
Uncivilized.
606
00:31:38,230 --> 00:31:41,031
Getting an A-
in Chem Lab.
607
00:31:41,066 --> 00:31:43,033
Uncivilized.
Uncivilized.
608
00:31:43,068 --> 00:31:45,035
She was...
609
00:31:45,070 --> 00:31:46,270
Kind of a tyrant.
610
00:31:46,305 --> 00:31:47,371
But brilliant.
611
00:31:47,406 --> 00:31:49,473
Oh, I can't argue
with that.
612
00:31:49,508 --> 00:31:50,874
Terrible driver.
613
00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:53,477
Can't argue with that.
614
00:31:53,512 --> 00:31:56,179
But she was extraordinary.
615
00:31:56,215 --> 00:31:59,816
Yeah. Oh.
616
00:31:59,852 --> 00:32:01,952
Do you regret
marrying her?
617
00:32:03,989 --> 00:32:06,957
The entire time
she was pregnant with you,
618
00:32:06,992 --> 00:32:09,159
she pretended she wasn't.
619
00:32:09,194 --> 00:32:12,963
I don't know if it was
stubbornness or denial.
620
00:32:12,998 --> 00:32:14,531
Maybe both.
621
00:32:14,566 --> 00:32:18,335
Nine months, she had to do
everything herself.
622
00:32:18,370 --> 00:32:20,537
And I had to let her.
623
00:32:20,572 --> 00:32:23,340
The night she went into labor,
she came home after surgery,
624
00:32:23,375 --> 00:32:28,712
and she just stood
in the doorway, wide-eyed.
625
00:32:28,747 --> 00:32:32,349
"We're having a baby, Thatch.
626
00:32:32,384 --> 00:32:36,420
We're having a baby."
627
00:32:39,892 --> 00:32:43,060
As if the idea just hit her,
right there.
628
00:32:43,095 --> 00:32:46,063
She... She started to laugh.
She couldn't stop laughing.
629
00:32:46,098 --> 00:32:49,666
Laughed all the way
to the hospital.
630
00:32:49,702 --> 00:32:52,736
I never heard her laugh
like that,
631
00:32:52,771 --> 00:32:56,840
so big, so free.
632
00:32:58,877 --> 00:33:02,379
And I just thought, "Wow.
633
00:33:02,414 --> 00:33:06,516
What a way for you
to come into the world."
634
00:33:06,552 --> 00:33:10,287
We weren't perfect.
635
00:33:10,322 --> 00:33:13,457
We weren't even happy
a lot of the time.
636
00:33:13,492 --> 00:33:17,027
But I'd marry her
all over again
637
00:33:17,062 --> 00:33:21,398
for that night, that laugh.
638
00:33:21,433 --> 00:33:23,266
And you.
639
00:33:23,302 --> 00:33:26,403
And this.
640
00:33:26,438 --> 00:33:31,575
I'd do it all again
for this.
641
00:33:39,985 --> 00:33:41,151
How can there
still be cancer there?
642
00:33:41,186 --> 00:33:42,386
We've been at this
for hours.
643
00:33:42,421 --> 00:33:44,121
It's still lighting up
like Christmas.
644
00:33:44,156 --> 00:33:46,323
Let's just keep going.
645
00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:48,725
We'll hit clear tissue
eventually.
646
00:33:50,929 --> 00:33:52,095
Signal's fading again.
647
00:33:52,131 --> 00:33:53,597
She's losing function
in her arms.
648
00:33:53,632 --> 00:33:55,766
- We've barely touched anything.
- Breathe.
649
00:33:55,801 --> 00:33:58,568
We are going
in the right direction.
650
00:33:58,604 --> 00:33:59,503
Losing the signal
in her other arm...
651
00:33:59,538 --> 00:34:01,905
Okay, stop it! We know!
If we keep going,
652
00:34:01,940 --> 00:34:03,507
we cost Catherine
her motor function,
653
00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:05,609
her career, her life
as she knows it... we know!
654
00:34:16,522 --> 00:34:18,288
Meredith...
655
00:34:18,323 --> 00:34:20,257
Okay,
don't try to speak.
656
00:34:20,292 --> 00:34:22,826
But... the closet.
657
00:34:22,861 --> 00:34:24,294
I left something...
658
00:34:24,329 --> 00:34:27,330
I don't need anything.
659
00:34:27,366 --> 00:34:29,766
...for your kids.
660
00:34:31,804 --> 00:34:34,371
I wish...
661
00:34:34,406 --> 00:34:36,873
I wish I knew them.
662
00:34:36,909 --> 00:34:40,610
I thought of...
I thought of them.
663
00:34:44,016 --> 00:34:45,649
Ahh.
664
00:34:45,684 --> 00:34:49,719
Your hands are so cold.
665
00:34:49,755 --> 00:34:50,954
Sorry, I can...
666
00:34:50,989 --> 00:34:54,357
No, no, no.
667
00:34:54,393 --> 00:34:56,126
Oh, it feels good.
668
00:35:02,167 --> 00:35:07,571
Zola is so smart
and so strong.
669
00:35:07,606 --> 00:35:10,407
Yeah?
And she keeps me on my toes
670
00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:12,909
every minute
of every day.
671
00:35:12,945 --> 00:35:17,347
And Bailey says "funny"
before every sentence.
672
00:35:17,382 --> 00:35:19,716
"Funny,
I'd like an apple.
673
00:35:19,751 --> 00:35:22,152
Funny, I need pajamas."
674
00:35:22,187 --> 00:35:25,355
It's so cute.
675
00:35:25,390 --> 00:35:29,493
And Ellis...
she is brave.
676
00:35:29,528 --> 00:35:32,929
And she's obsessed
with hip-hop.
677
00:35:32,965 --> 00:35:39,169
They are exhausting...
and amazing.
678
00:35:41,607 --> 00:35:45,175
I wish you knew them,
too.
679
00:35:45,210 --> 00:35:48,578
Because they are so,
so beautiful.
680
00:36:31,757 --> 00:36:32,989
How...
681
00:36:34,393 --> 00:36:36,159
Easy. Easy, Mom.
682
00:36:36,195 --> 00:36:38,995
How... How...
Easy, easy, easy, easy.
683
00:36:40,599 --> 00:36:42,432
Hey.
684
00:36:42,467 --> 00:36:44,768
-Mm-hmm.
-Uh-huh.
685
00:36:44,803 --> 00:36:48,038
Okay. Hold on, hold on.
686
00:36:48,073 --> 00:36:51,575
All right. Well,
your reflexes are normal.
687
00:36:51,610 --> 00:36:55,912
My hands and feet move.
Whoo.
688
00:36:55,948 --> 00:36:59,049
I'm not dead?
With that tumor?
689
00:36:59,084 --> 00:37:00,951
No, you're most definitely
not dead.
690
00:37:00,986 --> 00:37:03,186
Oh, I thought for sure
they were gonna kill me.
691
00:37:07,326 --> 00:37:11,928
What?
692
00:37:11,964 --> 00:37:13,530
Tell me.
693
00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:16,733
Catherine, when we went in
to get the tumor,
694
00:37:16,768 --> 00:37:19,402
it was adherent
to your brachial plexus.
695
00:37:19,438 --> 00:37:22,939
We were able
to remove about 95% of it,
696
00:37:22,975 --> 00:37:25,942
but we had to leave
one nodule behind.
697
00:37:25,978 --> 00:37:31,047
So... radiation? Chemo?
698
00:37:33,151 --> 00:37:36,119
They've had some success
with proton beam therapy.
699
00:37:36,154 --> 00:37:38,054
Some?
700
00:37:38,090 --> 00:37:42,659
It's likely,
even with treatment...
701
00:37:42,694 --> 00:37:44,661
I'll have to live
with this cancer
702
00:37:44,696 --> 00:37:46,496
the rest of my life.
703
00:37:46,531 --> 00:37:51,101
I was sure you'd get it all
or kill me trying.
704
00:37:51,136 --> 00:37:53,103
So did we.
705
00:37:53,138 --> 00:37:55,772
Catherine,
I'm so sorry.
706
00:37:57,209 --> 00:37:59,743
Sorry? I'm alive.
707
00:37:59,778 --> 00:38:03,513
I can live with this
for many years.
708
00:38:03,548 --> 00:38:07,651
People live with cancer.
We've all seen it happen.
709
00:38:07,686 --> 00:38:09,252
You're gonna have to get, uh,
scans every three months
710
00:38:09,288 --> 00:38:11,488
to make sure the tumor
doesn't, uh, grow.
711
00:38:11,523 --> 00:38:13,156
And in between,
I'll operate.
712
00:38:13,191 --> 00:38:15,859
Mm. And I'll hug my son.
713
00:38:15,894 --> 00:38:17,661
Mm.
714
00:38:17,696 --> 00:38:20,130
Make love to my husband.
715
00:38:20,165 --> 00:38:20,897
Okay...
716
00:38:20,932 --> 00:38:25,101
Chase my Harriet,
make mistakes,
717
00:38:25,137 --> 00:38:28,004
and fight about who gets
to pick the movie on date night.
718
00:38:32,144 --> 00:38:34,678
You two have given me
my life back.
719
00:38:36,682 --> 00:38:38,014
Now what?
720
00:38:38,050 --> 00:38:39,549
'Cause we didn't
plan on this.
721
00:38:41,186 --> 00:38:43,453
These two pulled off
a miracle.
722
00:38:43,488 --> 00:38:47,123
Miracles aren't always
punctuation marks.
723
00:38:47,159 --> 00:38:49,125
But they are worth celebrating.
724
00:38:49,161 --> 00:38:51,528
So we are gonna have
that party.
725
00:38:51,563 --> 00:38:54,631
We just might have to wait
a couple of months
726
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:56,566
so I can get
on the dance floor.
727
00:38:58,270 --> 00:39:01,171
I love you.
728
00:39:18,724 --> 00:39:21,257
Hey.
I heard about the surgery.
729
00:39:21,293 --> 00:39:22,425
Congratulations.
730
00:39:22,461 --> 00:39:23,226
Oh. I know, I know.
731
00:39:23,261 --> 00:39:24,694
You knew I had it in me
all along.
732
00:39:24,730 --> 00:39:26,496
Honestly? I was on the fence.
733
00:39:30,268 --> 00:39:32,869
You should be really proud.
734
00:39:32,904 --> 00:39:35,605
There are not a lot of surgeons
who could do that.
735
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:37,240
Which part?
736
00:39:37,275 --> 00:39:38,408
Where I flipped my friend
like a pancake
737
00:39:38,443 --> 00:39:40,343
or failed to leave her
cancer free?
738
00:39:40,379 --> 00:39:42,545
The part where
you saved her life
739
00:39:42,581 --> 00:39:44,180
and her surgical career.
740
00:39:46,952 --> 00:39:49,185
Yeah, that part
wasn't half bad.
741
00:39:51,123 --> 00:39:53,723
You should celebrate.
742
00:39:53,759 --> 00:39:54,791
Why don't you get
cleaned up?
743
00:39:54,826 --> 00:39:56,526
I'll meet you at Joe's,
and I'll buy you a drink.
744
00:39:56,561 --> 00:39:58,928
Uh... w...
Can we take a rain check?
745
00:39:58,964 --> 00:40:01,231
I... I'm wiped.
And I-I smell bad.
746
00:40:01,266 --> 00:40:06,035
And when you spend money on me,
I want to smell good.
747
00:40:06,071 --> 00:40:08,037
Yeah. Okay.
748
00:40:08,073 --> 00:40:09,239
Night.
749
00:40:09,274 --> 00:40:11,241
Goodnight.
750
00:40:16,348 --> 00:40:18,314
When it comes to medicine,
751
00:40:18,350 --> 00:40:21,484
who's to say
what is winning or losing?
752
00:40:24,523 --> 00:40:26,322
There's just as much value
in trying again
753
00:40:26,358 --> 00:40:29,292
as there is in letting go...
754
00:40:29,327 --> 00:40:33,396
I saved my friend
today, David.
755
00:40:35,834 --> 00:40:39,235
I didn't think I-I could,
and it wasn't perfect.
756
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,240
Your dad was kind of a badass.
757
00:40:46,211 --> 00:40:49,979
letting go of suffering,
regret, pain, fear.
758
00:41:11,069 --> 00:41:17,841
I operated on a freaking
legend's spine today.
759
00:41:17,876 --> 00:41:20,009
And it was terrifying.
760
00:41:20,045 --> 00:41:22,812
And exhilarating.
761
00:41:22,848 --> 00:41:25,181
And imperfect.
762
00:41:27,853 --> 00:41:31,221
Mostly terrifying.
763
00:41:31,256 --> 00:41:32,322
Because she's not
just a legend.
764
00:41:32,357 --> 00:41:36,025
She matters so much
to so many people that I love...
765
00:41:40,432 --> 00:41:42,198
Most of my life,
I have been chasing
766
00:41:42,234 --> 00:41:47,237
the kind of high
that I feel right now.
767
00:41:50,075 --> 00:41:53,209
I gave a surgeon back
her hands today.
768
00:41:53,245 --> 00:41:58,314
I gave a husband his wife,
a son his mother.
769
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,487
And I am so incredibly grateful
to be sober...
770
00:42:06,525 --> 00:42:08,491
...to be present enough
to have felt
771
00:42:08,527 --> 00:42:14,264
every terrifying,
exhilarating,
772
00:42:14,299 --> 00:42:16,499
imperfect moment.
773
00:42:19,371 --> 00:42:20,904
Instead of saying
someone we love
774
00:42:20,939 --> 00:42:26,442
is battling, beating, fightin,
winning, or losing,
775
00:42:26,478 --> 00:42:28,077
why don't we just
tell the truth.
776
00:42:29,548 --> 00:42:32,081
There you go, sweethearts.
777
00:42:34,119 --> 00:42:36,085
We get sick.
We take our medicine...
778
00:42:37,923 --> 00:42:40,256
Wow. So cool.
779
00:42:40,292 --> 00:42:42,258
Where did you get it,
Mommy?
780
00:42:42,294 --> 00:42:45,094
Uh, your grandfather,
Thatcher.
781
00:42:45,130 --> 00:42:47,697
He wanted you to have it,
and he wanted you to know
782
00:42:47,732 --> 00:42:49,465
that he cared about you
very much...
783
00:42:49,501 --> 00:42:51,134
Funny, I love it.
784
00:42:51,169 --> 00:42:54,404
...some of us live, some die.
785
00:42:54,439 --> 00:42:57,373
Mommy, are you okay?
786
00:42:57,409 --> 00:43:03,313
Yes, Zo-Zo. I will be fine.
787
00:43:04,348 --> 00:43:09,416
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