Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,600
I like cardio.
2
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:08,840
That's why I ran away
and came here.
3
00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,160
New friends. A new life.
4
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:12,920
But no matter how far we run,
5
00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:15,880
can we really run away
from ourselves?
6
00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:33,040
Hi!
7
00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:36,720
Oh... sa... ka...
8
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,080
Osaka.
9
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:39,680
You don't look Japanese.
10
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:40,760
No, no...
11
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:41,560
It's Umang.
12
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:42,880
I know, Umang.
13
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,360
We've met before.
At the gym. Remember?
14
00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:46,720
Come in.
15
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:49,800
This way.
16
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,680
This film is very
important for my career.
17
00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:54,680
I mean, a woman reaches
a certain age...
18
00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,440
and the movies just dry up.
19
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,280
You know,
all these 50 year old film stars...
20
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,680
they all want 22 year old heroines.
21
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,040
So...
22
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:03,360
I'm producing this film.
23
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,880
It's about an ordinary
middle class Indian girl...
24
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:11,440
who goes on to becoming
India's first MMA World Champion.
25
00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:12,640
Against all odds!
26
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:14,200
So...
27
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:15,840
I have to look like
I can fuckin' fight!
28
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,680
And when I walked into
the gym and saw you bench a 100...
29
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,400
I knew right away...
30
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,000
that only you can train me.
31
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,920
So... am I being too ambitious?
32
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:27,400
No... possible...
33
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:28,640
Not possible?
34
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,040
Ah! Shit!
35
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,256
I knew it wouldn't be possible.
36
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:32,880
No, no, I meant...
37
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:33,720
of course it's possible.
38
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,336
Why isn't it possible?
Anything is possible!
39
00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:36,936
I mean take the word
'impossible' for instance.
40
00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:39,160
It has 'I-M-POSSIBLE' hidden in it.
41
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,640
♪ Sweatisfatcrying ♪knowhowtogohome
42
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:43,000
#liftallday.
43
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:46,800
Just have a little faith and
it's going to be absolutely...
44
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:48,320
Oh!
45
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:51,120
Oh!
46
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,920
Did you smoke up
before coming here?
47
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,000
No.
48
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:57,600
Sorry...
49
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,240
I'm such an ass!
50
00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:16,040
Don't look at me like that...
51
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,680
Are you going to now
tax me for looking at you?
52
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,560
Umi, we were young and
naïve back then.
53
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,040
Naïve...
54
00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:23,880
I'm now 24...
55
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,040
I want to get married...
56
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,440
Fast for my husband...
57
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:28,520
I want kids...
58
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:30,680
Just not with me.
59
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:34,160
Haven't you studied biology?
60
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,800
When you're with me,
61
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:37,520
I understand biology a little better.
62
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:42,320
Umi, the sooner you understand this,
the better.
63
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:44,120
We have no future together.
64
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,000
Why?
65
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:47,160
Who says so?
66
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:51,320
Because only a privileged
few have the right to fall in love.
67
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,960
The rest of us have to get married.
68
00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,080
'We have to do this,
we have to be responsible...'
69
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,760
Since when have you started
wallowing in this kind of nonsense?
70
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,680
C'mon, let's run
away to Mumbai together!
71
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,000
What shenanigans
are the two of you up to?
72
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:08,680
We were just doing some cardio.
73
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,600
Trying to get some
running practice going.
74
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,960
Pinky, you're looking
so pretty in this pink outfit.
75
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,600
I'm starving.
Make me something to eat...
76
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:17,880
Of course, in a minute.
77
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,160
And you...
78
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:22,880
go get me some water.
79
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,760
How about you jump in
a well and drown yourself!
80
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,960
Who's going to marry you
if you keep up this attitude?
81
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,120
Unlike you,
I'm not desperate to get married.
82
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:32,920
Insolent!
83
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,320
How do you even kiss him?
84
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,040
Doesn't he make you want to puke?
85
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:42,800
He's your brother...
86
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:44,600
for me, just a husband.
87
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,800
I told you, you've put on
weight Siddhi.
88
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:41,240
What is this?
89
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,776
Deepika, what are we
going to do with this girl?
90
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:44,800
Sneha, relax.
91
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,040
I've worked on such cases before.
92
00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,440
I had a client who's lost 40 kilos.
93
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,336
But you know my chums are
going to start in a few days...
94
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,480
So maybe it's the water retention...
Siddhi, please.
95
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,360
This is not water retention.
96
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,360
You know, we have a community
temple in New Jersey...
97
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,520
We have a matchmaker there,
Mrs. Desai.
98
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,920
I sent her Siddhi's portfolio.
99
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,320
You know, the bitch turned
around and told me...
100
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,240
once Siddhi is a size zero,
101
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,760
send me her new portfolio.
102
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,520
Can you imagine?
103
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,720
Okay Siddhi,
we'll put you on the PC plan.
104
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,240
Priyanka Chopra's diet plan?
105
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:19,920
No.
106
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,040
PC.
107
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:24,520
Portion Control.
108
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,320
From now, you will eat
as much in quantity...
109
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,200
and in variety as a
10 month baby.
110
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:30,640
I'm guaranteeing you...
111
00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,240
3 kilos a week loss.
112
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:35,880
So spinach soup,
lentil water, mashed veggies...
113
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,080
Baby formula!
114
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:40,800
Oh sorry, you're being serious.
115
00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:43,800
This is all my mother-in-law's fault.
116
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:45,360
When I was pregnant,
117
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:48,800
she would feed me high calorie
sweets everyday!
118
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:52,280
Siddhi's birth weight was 4.1 kilos.
119
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,200
I had to get 8 stitches.
120
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:57,520
And, of course, I've had to spend
a fortune on tightening procedures!
121
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,040
And all your friends...
122
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:00,480
are size zero.
123
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:01,840
Zero.
124
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,120
I'm also size zero.
125
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,600
Except there's a one in front.
126
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,440
23 years it took me to figure
out why Sneha hates my guts.
127
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:21,840
Yes!
128
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,880
Because I tore her vagina
to shreds.
129
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:24,840
Poor thing...
130
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,840
I wonder what she
feels during an orgasm.
131
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,320
Ewww! That's my mom!
132
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:31,560
I've heard there are creams for vagina
tightening and lightening.
133
00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:32,320
What?!
134
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:34,920
Which means men want fair
and glowing down there as well.
135
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,760
But of course,
it must glow in the dark.
136
00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:38,840
Yes!
137
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,040
Losers!
138
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,240
You guys cheat too much.
139
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:42,816
In any case, after Arya's birth,
I'm sure I look like a...
140
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,320
train wreck down there.
141
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:45,040
What do you mean?
142
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:46,840
Do you bathe with your
eyes closed?
143
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,880
Guys, it has no use for me.
144
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,960
I haven't had sex since
Arya was born.
145
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,080
Anj... Arya's almost four.
146
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,880
Plus half my pregnancy.
147
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,360
Regrown virginity.
148
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:00,560
It's an actual term.
149
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:01,360
I've read about it.
150
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:02,616
You mean the hymen grows back?
151
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,401
It's not exactly a lizard's tail
that will grow back when it wants to!
152
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:08,240
But serious doubt...
how do you masturbate?
153
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:13,520
I don't.
154
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:14,960
Oh my goodness! Seriously?
155
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,240
Why are you shouldering
the burden of the whole world?
156
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,000
You just... really need to relax.
157
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:21,840
Do any of you have a compact?
158
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:22,920
No...
159
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:27,080
Thank you.
160
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,440
Go to the loo and make
friends with Vagayanti.
161
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,400
Vagayanti is your one.
162
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,040
Mine is more like...
163
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:35,640
Ms.VeeVee.
164
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,280
VeeVee rhymes with PeePee...
I like it.
165
00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,680
Guys, that's my most
expensive compact.
166
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:41,560
So?
167
00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:43,656
She's not slipping it in...
just taking a sneak peak.
168
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:46,600
Ms.VeeVee must have spun cobwebs
down there by now.
169
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,680
Don't behave so badly
with the poor thing!
170
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:49,760
Ahem.
171
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:52,040
You ladies done discussing
your lady parts?
172
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,160
In fact, now we're
discussing gent's parts.
173
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,640
So... how big is yours?
174
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:25,600
Oh.
175
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,360
Okay so...
176
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,120
there you are.
177
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:32,960
Ms.VeeVee...
178
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,640
any cobwebs yet?
179
00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:38,960
Nope.
180
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:40,760
I'm strong.
181
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:42,760
How strong?
182
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,640
Can you shoot out
ping pong balls?
183
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,840
Well, I did shoot Arya
out after all.
184
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,320
There's a pool table outside.
185
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,760
Do you want to try with
a cue ball?
186
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,520
Fuck!
187
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,440
This is ridiculous!
188
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:02,520
Fuck!
189
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:07,880
But...
190
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,640
why is it ridiculous Anjana?
191
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,280
Don't I...
192
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,320
deserve a little fun?
193
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:18,720
Fun?
194
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,960
Do you remember all the
crazy things we did with Varun?
195
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,200
Sometimes four times in a night!
196
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:31,640
He was our Mount Vesuvius.
197
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,280
And he destroyed everything...
198
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,880
that came in his path!
199
00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:37,480
Fuck!
200
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,520
No, no, please keep it!
Sanitize it.
201
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:55,720
Thank you boys.
202
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:56,600
Bye, Sir.
203
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:57,440
See you tomorrow.
204
00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:58,240
- Bye, Sir.
- See you tomorrow.
205
00:09:58,320 --> 00:09:59,320
Goodnight, Sir.
206
00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:00,880
Jeh...
207
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:03,960
There's something out there...
208
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,240
Rats!
209
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:09,600
I'm just kidding. Here...
210
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,080
Wow... look what I found!
211
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:16,640
Hey there little boy...
212
00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,520
Yuck.
213
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:20,960
Oh my God... he's so dirty!
214
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,040
He'll be clean.
Once he has a bath.
215
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:24,200
Once he has a bath.
216
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,160
So you're not a dog person?
217
00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:27,360
What is a dog person?
218
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:28,440
You know...
219
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:29,760
Loving.
220
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:30,520
Loyal.
221
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,240
I am loving, loyal.
222
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,296
- But selectively.
- Which means you're a dog person.
223
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,320
Oh God!
224
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,880
Okay! Fine! If you insist.
225
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:40,880
What are you going to do
with it now?
226
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:42,440
I don't know.
227
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,200
My building doesn't allow pets.
228
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,120
But I will take him
to a shelter in Lonavala.
229
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:47,880
Tomorrow.
230
00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:49,400
Why don't you keep him
for the night?
231
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:50,760
No!
232
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,136
I mean since we've all
found out you're a dog person.
233
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,960
- No! No! No way!
- Please...
234
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,400
- C'mon...
- No way!
235
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,760
Oh my God! Even a cactus
doesn't survive in my house!
236
00:10:58,840 --> 00:10:59,520
And this...
237
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:00,880
C'mon! One night...
238
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:01,880
Just one night!
239
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:02,960
I mean, look at him...
240
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,640
How can you say no to him?
No! No! No Jeh!
241
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:06,720
Noooo!
242
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:33,800
Eat.
243
00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:22,040
Mohit?
244
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:23,120
- Siddhi!
- Hi!
245
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,080
This picnic thing for a
first date is such a good idea!
246
00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:26,760
Thank you.
247
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:28,760
You look fantastic!
248
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:29,840
Thank you.
249
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,640
But that empire line
is not working for you.
250
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:33,320
Nah.
251
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:35,360
Oh God.
252
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:36,816
Turns out Mummy's boy
is not straight?
253
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:37,360
Sorry?
254
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,640
That's popular code for
'you're gay'.
255
00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,080
Except for my mother,
everyone knows.
256
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,200
Wait hang on.
Does that mean this date is off?
257
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,200
Hell no!
258
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:46,280
Let's go!
259
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,440
So... plump girl, gay boy.
260
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,160
You realize we could
be our own rom-com.
261
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:55,240
Please. Not in India.
262
00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:57,800
Here, they will find some
way to get us married in the end.
263
00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,000
Can I say something?
264
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,656
This little extra
weight looks nice on you.
265
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:01,680
Makes your face glow.
266
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:02,560
Thank you!
267
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:03,640
I was double your size.
268
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:04,920
So then?
269
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:05,640
Zumba?
270
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:06,560
That too.
271
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:07,960
But I had one apple a day.
272
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,040
Now my immunity is fucked.
273
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,560
I'm constipated all the time.
274
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:12,800
But. Look on the bright side.
275
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,640
I can fit into any
Tom Ford suit I want so...
276
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:15,520
what the fuck do I care.
277
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,400
So one second, you're saying
I should just have an apple a day?
278
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,680
No, no, men love curves.
279
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:21,760
Dogs love bones.
280
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,440
Please. Say that to them.
281
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:25,480
Just look at them. So skinny.
282
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:28,400
It's like looking at them in 2D.
I just want to... kill them.
283
00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,040
The sound of their earrings dangling...
284
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:31,480
echoes through their skulls!
285
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:32,760
They're so like...
286
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,440
weird... strange...
287
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:36,256
They have to use 10 Instagram
filters on every picture...
288
00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:37,560
just to look half decent.
289
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,000
One second, look at that one okay.
290
00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:39,760
Virgin.
291
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,200
That one is just ugly.
292
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:42,480
Slutty Angel.
293
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:44,400
And that one's a vegetarian.
294
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:45,760
You know what that means, right?
295
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:47,960
That will never happen.
296
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,360
Listen, I've no fucking
idea what you're saying...
297
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:51,600
But I love you!
298
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,480
I think you need some
affirmation from the world.
299
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:55,480
Okay...
300
00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:57,600
I'll give you an idea.
It will change your life.
301
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:58,680
What?
302
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,040
Seriously? Sexy lingerie?
303
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:07,520
Even better.
304
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:21,600
Hey Damini...
305
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,880
Hi! Dr. Warsi... what a surprise.
306
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:27,680
You live around here?
307
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,200
Ya... just round the corner.
308
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,040
Nice.
309
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:32,400
Me too.
310
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:37,480
I got my periods.
311
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:40,400
That's good.
312
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,480
Ya... relieved!
313
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,360
I got to go...
314
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:46,880
because of puppy.
315
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:47,920
You have a pet?
316
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,640
No, no, not my pet.
317
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,040
I'm taking care of a dog...
318
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:52,200
for a few days.
319
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:53,280
Are you feeding it?
320
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:54,960
Of course! Of course.
321
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:56,296
I've kept him in my
spare bathroom for now.
322
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:57,896
I've laid out newspaper
all over the floor.
323
00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:58,936
He poops and pisses on it.
324
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,440
It's just easy to
wrap and throw away.
325
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,280
But shouldn't you
be taking him out for it?
326
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,160
Walk the dog, Damini.
327
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:07,800
You're right.
328
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:08,960
Leaving now...
329
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,040
walking the dog.
330
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:11,640
Bye.
331
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:12,720
Your...
332
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:14,760
Drink.
333
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:15,840
So sorry.
334
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:18,320
See you...
335
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,000
C'mon!
336
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,880
His Holy Dogness! Come, come.
337
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,120
Come, come.
338
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,120
Oh what a good boy.
Come, come, puppy.
339
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:36,360
Come, come.
340
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,520
Hello...
341
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:44,800
What?
342
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:49,960
What do you mean?
343
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,120
Is there any such thing
as a shelter not having place?
344
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,280
You can't do this to me, Jeh.
345
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,840
But you had said one day,
remember?
346
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:02,920
Just one day.
347
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,280
No, no, not later!
348
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,640
You cannot hang up on me! Hello?
349
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,120
Jeh!
350
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,520
Thank you universe!
351
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,240
And here's your pancake...
352
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,840
Leave this for now and eat.
353
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:33,280
Do you want some jam?
354
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,040
Honey?
355
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:37,880
Then what do you want baby?
356
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,400
This is not how
Kavya aunty makes it.
357
00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:43,440
Then how does Kavya
aunty make it, baby?
358
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:44,520
Teddy shape.
359
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,160
Here's your teddy, okay?
360
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:55,000
Eyes, nose, smile.
361
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:55,760
Ears.
362
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:58,000
That's your teddy pancake, okay.
Now eat.
363
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,360
This is not how
Kavya aunty makes it.
364
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:01,600
Arya baby!
365
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,440
No more Kavya aunty
in this house, okay?
366
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,200
I call her Pooky aunty.
367
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:09,080
Dadda also calls her Pooky.
368
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:18,960
I bet...
369
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:20,800
Pooky aunty's vagina...
370
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:22,640
isn't a haunted house...
371
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,480
covered in cobwebs.
372
00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:30,080
I saw Vesuvius when
it was really active.
373
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,480
It must've sobered down by now.
374
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,080
So... she can have him now.
375
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:42,640
But you do miss the
hot, molten, lava.
376
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,000
Don't you?
377
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:49,960
Mama, what happened?
378
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,240
Nothing baby.
379
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:53,320
Bad dream.
380
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,280
A teddy bear pancake.
381
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,000
I mean what the hell is that!
382
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:07,080
And why is she making teddy
bear pancakes for my daughter?!
383
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,560
Can't you spend a minute
without uttering her name?
384
00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,280
You're using her name
like a vowel.
385
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,160
If you take Kavya's name
one more time,
386
00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:14,520
then you'll have to take a shot.
387
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,560
- Ya.
- Ya.
388
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:16,960
Why are you punishing me?
389
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,696
It's that Kavya who's just trying to...
Oh my God. Jeh! One shot please.
390
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,280
Hey! If Kavya is not...
Make that two please!
391
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,800
Guys, I'm just trying to
make you understand that Kavya...
392
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:25,920
Three shots!
393
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:27,240
God!
394
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,560
Keep the bottle.
You're going to need it.
395
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:33,160
Jeh, you too?
396
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,560
Seriously, I heard you
say that name so many times...
397
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,400
that I just called
Bosco back there Kavya.
398
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:40,320
He did.
399
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:42,080
Here.
400
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,536
C'mon, c'mon...
Let's go, let's go...
401
00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,640
Seriously?
402
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:46,880
C'mon! Yeah!
403
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,800
C'mon for Kavya!
404
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:57,640
Damini...
405
00:18:58,040 --> 00:18:59,640
the rape country video story?
406
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,080
I know.
Two million hits already!
407
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,160
But we're also getting
trolled badly.
408
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:09,200
I have never seen such hatred and
so many trolls in my life.
409
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:13,760
Rizvi Roy, you fuckin' bitch!
410
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,280
It's time to show her
what her true worth is!
411
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,560
#worthlessdramaqueen.
412
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:25,080
Paid media libtard presstitutes
in Investigator.com...
413
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:26,320
should all be raped.
414
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,240
Damini's mother is H.O.A.R.
Father is pimp.
415
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,080
She should've been aborted.
416
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,400
H.O.A.R? I think he means whore.
417
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:38,760
Can we track these people down?
418
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,880
I mean some are
unemployed losers.
419
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,200
Others are digital
agencies in China, Russia...
420
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:44,440
and even right here.
421
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:47,560
Hired by political parties to further
their own damn agendas.
422
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:49,080
Cheap internet connections,
423
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,320
anonymous handle,
egg for a display picture
424
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,640
and then just attack people.
425
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:56,320
You know what, the problem is
there's zero bloody accountability.
426
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,080
So then that's our story.
427
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,080
Let's unmask them.
428
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:03,720
Let's hunt each one of
these assholes
429
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,480
and drag them out of their
hiding places.
430
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:06,800
Let's do it!
431
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:07,960
Ya.
432
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:11,560
Damini!
433
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,216
Sorry Uma, I'm just in a
middle of something…
434
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:13,760
I'll just join you.
435
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,560
I'd like you to meet
Akanksha Moitra.
436
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:21,480
A Columbia University graduate
in journalism and a...
437
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:22,760
Bengali just like you.
438
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:23,520
Okay.
439
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:24,280
Hi!
440
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:25,360
- Hi.
- Lovely to meet you…
441
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:26,440
Same here.
442
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,240
And she's also a Fulbright scholar.
443
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:32,640
She's just finished her internship
with The Star in New York.
444
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,680
The Star as in the tabloid?
445
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:35,760
- Yes.
- Okay...
446
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,880
They offered me their full time position
but I was so over NYC!
447
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,720
And then Uma called and
I couldn't help but...
448
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:42,800
jump at the offer.
449
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:44,200
The offer?
450
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,280
Yes...
451
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,320
What offer?
452
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,240
I didn't know we were hiring.
453
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:51,080
I thought you wanted to
reduce losses.
454
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,040
Akanksha won't come in your way.
455
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,616
She's going to concentrate
on the lighter subjects.
456
00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:00,520
Like entertainment or
celebrities, socialites...
457
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,240
Gossip?
458
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,160
The readers want exactly
this Damini.
459
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:04,960
It's what gets the hits.
460
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:06,560
Work with Akanksha.
461
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,000
Make it work.
462
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:14,080
Hi!
463
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:15,520
What are you doing here?
464
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:18,240
We'll have to train
for two hours everyday.
465
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,416
Day one, plyos. Day two, cardio.
466
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:20,536
Day three, chest.
Day four, legs.
467
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,480
Day five and six,
martial arts and sparring.
468
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,760
Training, training, training,
repeat, repeat, repeat.
469
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,136
You will fall, you will breakdown,
you will cry.
470
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,280
We will do whatever
it takes but we will not stop.
471
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,320
Because right now,
your muscles are soft.
472
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:33,640
We have to harden them
like stone.
473
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:34,976
And these love handles
of yours...
474
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,160
are meant only for
your boyfriend.
475
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:38,880
I don't have a boyfriend.
476
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,240
One week free trial.
477
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:44,320
You won't regret it.
478
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,680
How long did you practice
this speech?
479
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:49,640
At least 10-12 times...
480
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,680
but it sounded
way better in my head.
481
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:54,480
Come in Umang.
482
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:03,720
I'm telling you...
483
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:04,720
this is so much better.
484
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,296
No, she keeps doing these
stupid things...
485
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:07,320
Doesn't even matter!
486
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:11,800
Hi Mom...
487
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:13,840
Yes...
488
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,200
No, I'm at work.
489
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:17,360
Yes Mom, I've eaten.
490
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,440
Okay, I'll call Dad tomorrow.
491
00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:24,120
How are Karanveer and Pinky?
492
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:26,400
Okay.
493
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,640
Give my love to everyone.
494
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,320
Okay Mom. Bye.
495
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,640
Guys, wasn't Umang right
here with us?
496
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:40,720
Where did she go?
497
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:43,360
Guys, that was Mom on the line.
498
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,440
Dude, you were incredibly
well behaved!
499
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:49,880
The amount of grief I have
put my mom and dad through...
500
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:50,560
Enough.
501
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:51,880
Now no more.
502
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:56,200
Umang teaches physical
training in school.
503
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,840
No wonder she's so
slim and trim.
504
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:00,520
Don't you worry.
505
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:04,400
She will cook healthy food
for your son.
506
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,000
She even makes butter
chicken without the butter!
507
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:07,440
Really?
508
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,320
I promise you... you won't
stop licking your fingers.
509
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,640
No one can tell there's
no butter in it.
510
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,136
- Don't you agree?
- Absolutely.
511
00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:16,120
Well, then I can't wait
to try her butter chicken!
512
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:18,840
But where is Umang?
513
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:21,760
He has three mansions.
514
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:22,840
And a field.
515
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,160
They will keep you
like a princess.
516
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:26,840
You'll be happy.
517
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:28,440
Just like you?
518
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:29,760
Happy.
519
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:31,680
What do you expect?
520
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,960
To find true love with Prince Charming
on a white horse?
521
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:36,640
Or a princess.
522
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,000
I'll send you my wedding card.
You wait and watch.
523
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:39,520
Okay.
524
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:41,200
What the hell is all this?!
525
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:42,920
I feel chained like a cow!
526
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,520
You're wearing an outfit
like this for the first time.
527
00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:50,120
What are you doing?!
Are you out of your mind?!
528
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:51,280
It's all making sense now.
529
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:57,240
Such is life, Umi.
530
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:00,480
You need to find your happiness
in this new relationship.
531
00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:02,360
You call this happiness?
532
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,240
Taking care of someone's home.
533
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:06,120
Praying for his long life?
534
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:07,800
This is the system right?
535
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:09,960
Respect it.
536
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:12,560
And what about respecting
ourselves?
537
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,760
Think about your parents.
538
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:16,840
Their entire life...
539
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:18,480
one spoke while the
other listened.
540
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,160
Is this what you call
a marriage?
541
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:21,520
And you and my brother?
542
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,480
You'll spend your whole
life trying to love him.
543
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,000
This place suffocates me!
544
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:30,240
What are you doing?
545
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:31,960
Umi no... Umi...
546
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,040
Don't make this mistake!
Don't do it!
547
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,400
Go down in five minutes...
548
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,680
and tell everyone
that you can't find me.
549
00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:41,320
This is the least you can
do for me.
550
00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:43,640
Please.
551
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,320
You wore an Indian outfit?
552
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,320
And that too for a guy? Oh God!
553
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,960
Is that the only thing you
heard in my entire story?
554
00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:01,360
So how did you sort it
out with your folks?
555
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,040
Simple. We just brushed
it under the carpet.
556
00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,640
Basically,
under the carpet in our house...
557
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,080
you'll find tons
of hidden misconceptions...
558
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,400
and unresolved arguments.
559
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:12,480
Insane!
560
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,800
So you'll never tell
them that you're bisexual?
561
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:18,680
The carpet's not that big.
562
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,240
You know it's really sad that...
563
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:25,120
we can't discuss our
sexuality with our mothers.
564
00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:27,000
When Arya grows up,
565
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,320
I'll make sure I discuss
everything with her.
566
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:32,600
Sex, drugs, boys...
567
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:34,400
Vagina.
568
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:36,560
I'm sorry...
569
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,800
Did you just whisper vagina?
570
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:41,240
I mean, just say it.
571
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,360
VAGINAAAAAA!
572
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:45,680
All hail the vagina!
573
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:47,360
Mad?
574
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:48,520
Why? What's the big deal?
575
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,240
Try it Siddhi! C'mon...
576
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:51,376
You'll feel a sense of nirvana.
C'mon...
577
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:52,400
Okay.
578
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:54,800
All hail my vagina!
579
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,920
Next time shout this out
at the bar...
580
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,320
and just watch, you'll
have four boys lining up for you.
581
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:02,760
Yeah!
582
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,000
Alright Anj...
583
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,200
- C'mon...
- What?
584
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:06,320
- Go for it!
- Go!
585
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:08,440
- Guys...
- What?
586
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,520
- C'mon, c'mon...
- Okay, okay.
587
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,520
Vagina...
588
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:18,240
Vagina... come to mama...
What was that? Seriously?
589
00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:20,840
Okay, okay, I'll do it again.
Okay...
590
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:24,560
VAGINAAAAAA!
591
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,040
Nice!
592
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,240
Make me come you motherfucker!
593
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,760
(Girls shout out vagina in
multiple languages)
594
00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:36,400
Guys, guys... Yoni.
595
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:37,360
Choot.
596
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:38,280
Chuthadi.
597
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,320
Choot and Chuthadi are
the same... so another one.
598
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:41,080
Okay, fine.
599
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:42,440
You come up with something then.
600
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,080
Poonani!
601
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:47,200
I heard it in a rap song and
I've been dying to use it since then.
602
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:48,440
Kandu! Kandu!
603
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:49,720
That sounds like Gandu!
604
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:50,880
Bhosadi!
605
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:52,320
Oh! Vajayjay!
606
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:53,400
Fuddu!
607
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:54,360
Pooku!
608
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:55,680
Putki!
609
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:57,240
Twinkle!
610
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:58,320
Vajizzle!
611
00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:59,480
Pookie!
40626
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
