Original subtitles

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Sir, when do we begin?

PC2020 and PC2021 aren't here yet.

We're already five minutes late

Your watch is five minutes fast

Are you satisfied yet?

We're tailed them long enough

No, it's still dark here

Wait until we come to some street lamps

Are you two alright?

Fine, we always jog this time of the day

Yes!

You two are brave

Ah Chow just said that You two are perfect pickings for a sex man

You two are lucky You ran into us instead

How much time before our rendezvous?

About five minutes

How far do we have to go?

About twenty miles

At this speed, do you think we'll make?

No

do you think we should go a little fast

Yes! Then let's go

sir, it's time

not even a sound of a vehicle approach

OK, can't wait any longer

Good thinking-turning off

Your engines and coasting?

Take this

What's the situation, sir?

Fifteen terrorists, ten M16's

And one female hostage

I don't care how

Just get the girl out

Oh boy! A defenseless girl I love to rescue defenseless girls

Yeah, because defenseless rhymes

With senseless, now let's get our things

where will you be standing, sir?

Over there

Better more thirty degrees to the left

Thirty degrees to the left?

Come over here

Would you think it's funny if

I said I'm sleepwalking?

Yeah, hilarious

Let me see you laugh

come on, laugh

OK, come on up now

Four at once

Sir, anytime you're ready

Prepare to fire

a Superintendent Chan out of the line off

Yes, but the stupid sergeant is still there

Then what are you waiting for? Fire

Yes, Sir

fire

You have a feeling this place is booby.

Yeah

Watch for falling nets

No, in movies the hero usually takes a few

Before falling thru a trap on

The floor

Help! Please help me

The hostage

Let me

Here

Go

My buns are smoking

see this next trap? The slightest weight

Will send arrows shooting out from there

Really

I'll show you

Watch

See?

Wow! What do we do now?

Don't you see the pattern?

Yes

Well, do you still remember Yes

Let's go

This is a much more sticky situation

Help, please help me

She's not my style

You going to leave little hole me all

No, I'm coming

Are you OK?

A ghost...

A ghost! A ghost!

How come you didn't knock?

Ha, sorry you had to sleep in the living room

It's OK

Ah Chow

Yes, Honey

Now what am I going to try eggs with?

Oh goodie no more fried egg

Not just me

Ah Chow is also thinking the same thing

I think he did it on purpose

Don't listen to him, honey

Did I ever complain?

You better not

OK, what d you want to eat?

Ham and fried eggs.

Oh goodie Ham and fried eggs again

The eggs taste so good

I think I'll have to break more pots

Local news at 10:30 am today

There was a serious accident on Tuen Mun

and two injured

Next time you have a nightmare

Try not to wake up the whole house

What whole house? Just you two

Suspected of involvement is fraudulent section

counting up to 80 million dollars is Lee Ho

Arrested in Singapore yesterday

negotiations are now underway

To extradite him back to Hong Kong

Wow, are 80 million dollars con job

That's why we have to report to Supt. Chan.

Let's go

Right Bye

You two be careful

What does that suspect in Singapore?

Have to do with Supt. Chan or us?

Nothing

Just didn't want Ham and eggs again?

Let's have dim sum instead

Oh, good! Dim sum!

A blood test. What a way to start the

Watch it you two

This is not a bumper car field

What's the matter?

Bad mood today?

If someone sticks a needle into your

think in the morning, what other mood is

Oh, no! Physical time! And inoculation

Physical's OK, inoculation, no! Let's get out

PC2020! PC2021!

Urine test and inoculation today

Toilet's over there!

How do we get out of this?

Think fast

The casualty ward?

Yes, sir, I'll send someone right away

Not me! I can even stand up

find someone else

but I promise to send someone right away

You want to kiss ass it's your business

I'm not your lips

Why so quiet?

Means everybody's been murdered.

Got and dirty Harry cases for us?

Yes!

C.I.D.

The head nurse want you two for inoculation

Better get downstairs right away

Placing high value on our friendship

Can't let you two create a scene downstairs.

Right, it's a matter of keeping our dignity.

It has nothing to do with courage.

I'll help anyway I can!

Right now the casualty ward needs a hurry.

And I don't know who to send!

What!

The casualty ward need our help.

What are we waiting for?

Let's go.

OK!

Sign here!

Sir, I can't.

Why not?

I can't sign with my left hand.

Then use your right

Sir, my right hand is not with me.

They forget to pick it up after the fight.

See for yourself!

No need

give me your left thumb take a print.

No need sir! It looks the same in red.

What's your name?

Who? Me, sir?

It's there someone next to you?

No!

Look at me when you speak to me.

I am looking at you.

Look at me this way and don't move your eye.

What's your name?

You Foo.

What? Fool?

I'll show how to be one.

What's your name?

Foo... Foo!

Still fool?

Sir, my family name is Foo

given name is You, so You Foo!

It chopped in the neck, so there's an air gap.

Do you recognize who chopped you?

"Scarf ace", Tony and "Tattoo", Charlie.

Sir, my stomach really hurts!

Let go of your handle. it'll get all over.

Thanks for reminding me.

I don't want to skip rope with my intestine

Sir!

Now what?

You're stepping on my finger.

A doctor said he reconnect it if I can find.

It doesn't fit!

Sir, the other leg.

That's my finger?

There one finger too much.

Who's is it?

Who's missing a finger?

It's mine!

I can't take it anymore I'm going to the toilet.

The toilet is clogged.

Someone drop his nose into it.

Ah Chow, dinner's ready!

"Count your fingers, count to ten"

"If three get lopped off, the Doc can"

"seven left and you;re still a man"

Lop your head, stupid

What's the matter?

He always sings when he

I didn't say he can't sing

He's gross to sing about chopped fingers

Ah Chow!

What's bothering you? Are you ill?

Just take the food off the table.

Besides small and large intestines,

do we have anything else to eat tonight?

Yes!

Is this OK?

Why so much instant noodles?

Win a raffle?

No, I have to go to Singapore.

What are you going to Singapore for?

Descort a suspect, Lee Hong, back to Hong Kong

How about me?

The superintendent has other duties for you.

No, I mean I'll miss you.

It'll just be several days.

By myself in my room, alone and feeling

Ok, then I won't go

No, no, our responsibilities come first

Whoopee!

What's the matter? Epileptic or something?

Honey, can you not go to Singapore?

Can't, orders are orders

Eureka? What did you find?

I found I don't like instant noodles. I'm not

You know about the Lee Hong fraud case

Yes, sir, I owe him!

Because Anna has to go to Singapore

Ah Chow is an eligible bachelor for a field

We received a report Lee hong hired killers

to silence the chief witness, May Lo.

Look

Hey, cute, just like me!

You two pick her up at the Hong Kong marme and protect her until the trial

You need a good place to hide her.

Right how about our hotel

good service, air-cond, just right for summer

If May Lo loses a hair, you two can count on walking the beat until

Understand?

Yes sir!

Wait!

Have you two taken the physical

or the inoculation

Yes, the nurse said I wasn't afraid of pain.

He said I was a good boy.

Yes, and she said my blood was red, and very fresh.

When was this?

Last year!

I'm talking about this year.

Now get going!

Yes sir!

Sorry!

That nurse gives painful shots.

Do you have a handkerchief?

No!

Hold this!

It's your own fault for not carrying a handkerchief.

No matter what, kill the girl.

Otherwise the boss will go to jail.

Relax!

My informer says two policemen.

The girl is now under police protection.

Find her and kill her!

Sir!

Give me the data.

On the new recruits. Yes, sir!

Do you have the results from the recent physical report

Yes, I'll get a printout.

Here, sir! Thanks!

Goodbye sir.

Bye!

We mustn't disclose our true identities.

I know. We're supposed to be undercover.

A suite, please!

Please register first.

Who is the room for?

All three of us!

It's best if the adjacent rooms are empty.

We make a lot of noise.

She goes wild playing games.

Basically, we don't object to game playing.

But what's your relationship to the girl?

If we told you, you'd be shocked.

It's important we stay together.

That's right!

Are her parents here?

No, they'd just get in the way.

Right! If anyone ask for her,

Please notify us first.

It's matter life and death.

This girl is a minor.

We have a house policy.

It's best if you rent a separate room for her.

Nope. We have to stay together.

Besides, we won't leave the room!

Look, we are police officers.

Yes, I know policemen are virile males. But

these two are police officers.

But not permissible to check in with an underage girl.

We are a reputable hotel.

We can't afford a scandal.

I told you they wouldn't let us check in.

But you wouldn't listen!

Miss, are they coercing you?

Well, not exactly.

They asked me first and I consented. That's correct!

You two are abusing your authority.

Ah Chow, we have to think first! What are you doing?

This is the only way. Any better ideas?

No! So be it!

Listen! We're police officers.

I'm PC2020, he's PC2021!

She is a prosecution witness, May Lo.

We have orders to secretly protect her. There is a contract out on her life!

If you don't believe me, look.

This is the Police Commissioner's signature.

The purpose of staying in one room together

It's not for Hanky Panky

Although I wouldn't mind

Give them a suite.

Right away!

I have to hand it to you.

You really came prepared.

Enjoy yourself, you deserve it!

Come on, we got the key!

No. 336.

This is mine, bye!

Bye!

Such a big room!

But no bed. Where do I sleep?

On the floor!

One, Two! Three!

Here you try it.

I'll close the floor!

ROOM SERVICE!

Your water, sir!

Over here OK?

Open up!

Opening just one side is meaningless.

What are you standing here for?

Water, sir!

So?

Do you like it better somewhere else?

Over here?

Easier to reach!

For whom?

It's best if we can all reach our goals

I'm leaving!

Doors over there!

We can turn this into one room.

Right!

If we inactivate this door.

The killer must come through the other door.

Then we'll pounce on him!

Get busy. Right!

Why are you so mean?

He was only hinting for a little tip.

Aren't we paying room charges? Yes!

Doesn't hotel pay him a salary? Yes!

So do we still have to tip him?

Yes! OK

You give it to him!

Are you fixing a trap?

Goodie, let me try!

This is not a game. Go play somewhere else.

OK, I'm going swimming, bye!

If you swim confine yourself to the bathroom.

You can't leave the room.

But it's boring playing in the room.

Try jogging!

ROOM SERVICE!

The boy is here again.

Now what?

The, hows the water?

Fine!

I'll draw your curtains.

No need!

Are you satisfied with this room?

Very!

So it's very comfortable?

Very comfortable. I'll call you if I need.

Are you sure!

You're very mean.

I can be mean with you two.

Now go and watch TV.

All done!

Good!

I wonder if it'll work.

Let's try it.

You're kidding. It's 220 volts!

Don't you want to know if it works?

Yes, but now?

ROOM SERVICE!

This door is blocked.

Come in the other door!

OK...!

Good, it works!

Get the license number

I hope you have learned your lesson.

Idiot!

You keep me in the room.

Any longer, I'll die of boredom.

Dying of boredom is a natural death-your protection.

Get out the room and get murdered, it's my responsibility.

You're selfish!

But your selfishness.

It's compensated by your charm, your vitality.

There's a "Green Parrot Nite" at the disco

Is that right?

Yes, let me go, OK? No!

Ah Chow won't let me go out.

But I know you're a nice guy!

That's right!

Go with me, OK?

No!

That's the right attitude.

But you're really thinking "Yes", aren't you?

That's right!

You two are depriving me of my rights.

It's not fair!

You have the willpower of a dope addiction. A great cop you are!

Speak louder.

Wait!

What were you saying?

I'm looking for the sexy-looking.

Sammy, Davis look-a-like!

What can I do for you?

Well, I saw you in the lobby.

I want to get to know you better.

Well, if you do,

You'll find I'm more than just a sexy female.

Well, when do I get the chance?

Any time!

I like meeting new friends also.

Good. I'm at the lounge in the lobby.

Why not come down for a drink?

Well, I'm busy at the moment.

Do try to come down!

I'll try, but no promises.

Help

A ghost!

Such vivid nightmares!

Bye!

Help!

I'll get you! Get out of the way!

Am I really that sexy?

Sorry to keep you waiting so long.

You sound very sweet on the phone.

My name is Ah Chow. What is yours?

You're right, strangers in the night

Need not know each other's names!

Don't be shy! Say something!

I... I... don't... don't...

know... know...

Miss, you don't stutter, do you?

No, but I've been waiting a long time.

Waiting for someone?

Yes, for you!

Speech normal look seminine

Really?

Let's not waste time.

I turn you on.

You turn me on too!

Too bad my fiance is going To tum your head into orbit.

The killer was here. May is gone

How are we going to find her?

Everybody is wearing masks.

I know. The killer is also looking for May.

Why don't we wait for him to show up

He can find May for us.

Great idea!

Then we can retrieve May's body!

Come on, stupid!

What?

I said this is not working.

You're right.

Over here!

Ladies and gentlemen

"Green Parrot Nite" contest

Will now begin.

Great!

When I count one, two, three,

Everybody take off their masks. First one get prize.

Ready. One, two, three!

Where's May?

Don't see her yet!

There she is!

Let's go!

Out of the way!

Open the door!

They went this way!

May!

May are you in here?

May!

Careful!

Freeze!

Stop where you are!

No tricks!

Throw your guns over!

No!

Show them over!

Don't move!

Now step aside or I will shoot! Move!

Go ahead. Shoot!

How did that happen? How many bullets?

I left one by accident!

Good going!

Don't shoot!

Give us a chance!

Say your prayers!

Bullets!

Bullets!

Put down your gun!

I got the bullet!

Don't move, get up!

It's your fault,

Otherwise, Chews arm wouldn't be injured.

You're getting to sound like Ah Chow.

He only got a scratch!

I can't move...! try...!

I can't do it!

I can't move...! try...!

I can't move...!

What's the problem?

There!

Why the big fuss?

Yes. Just a slight wound on the arm.

How come you're immobile?

Doctor!

Good!

Which one of you is the patient's relative?

She isn't so I must be!

The doctor wants to see you. OK!

Come in!

Doctor!

I'm Ah Chews relative.

Ng Ah Chow?

The policeman?

Yes, a policeman. Protector of Hong Kong

You guys have a high mortality rate.

Just occasional occupational hazards!

In Ah Chews case, it's better

If he ran into one.

That way, at least he can go out as a hero.

What do you mean by that?

Well, according to the computer data

Ah Chow has terminal lung cancer

That means

Layman’s terms, that means he is going to die.

You mean Ah Chow has a terminal illness?

His heart beats, he breathes air, doesn't he?

He's human. Humans get terminal illness.

Don't believe me! Ask the computer!

Is there anything I can do?

Nothing. Except to tell him to take it easy.

Enjoy himself these last few months

Only a few more month?

If he had twenty, thirty more years left.

We wouldn't call it terminal.

Are you sure its terminal?

Isn't there anything we can do?

Help him plan his funeral, and keep him happy.

Hope his passing doesn't cost much addiction.

He has a wife!

Any kids?

No!

That's tough. A widow without kids.

Get a lot less compensation.

Why not tell him to go on another honeymoon?

Staying here only wastes taxpayer's money.

Can't tell him to sitting around waiting to die!

That's right. Take him home. He can die comfortably.

How can you say something like that?

I can let you die comfortably with one shot.

What are you doing?

I want you to say "He doesn't have cancer".

He doesn't have cancer!

Louder!

He doesn't have cancer!

Enough!

So stupid!

What are purd!

What's it about!

About a guy with terminal cancer

Struggling stay alive...!

It is creepy!

What do you know?

This type of determination should be encourager.

I'm not sure about that, if I had a terminal cancer.

I'd rather kill myself! I wouldn't wait around to die!

What did the doctor want to see you for?

Just casual talk About the weather.

And that you're well and can go home.

Now I'm well, don't need a doctor to see

But why not relax a few days here?

I hear the hospital's haunted...

Dinner time!

I'll prop up your bed.

OK!

So you can eat!

But I ache all over. How can I eat!

Here, I'll help you?

Great!

Have some soup.

Why doesn't he just die and get it over?

Hey! Why tum it off?

You said it's stupid.

But it's so stupid, it's funny!

It's not funny!

What would you do if a friend had a terminal cancer?

Tell him to rest in peace!

You're cold blooded!

What else can I do? Sit there and watch him.

I don't know anymore,

I think it must be horrible.

Especially cancer, so frightening.

One day 70 kg, like me now.

Only half as much when death finally comes.

And so smelly.

Of course! The internal organs rot away.

You knew so much about medicine.

Also, cancer.

Makes a hole here, a hole there!

Dying is trivial. But the suffering!

Especially lung cancer. Can't even breathe.

Choke choke dead.

And such bad breath.

Right, nurse?

And the body shrives up.

Have to straighten up the body at the funeral.

I've seen some really bad cases.

Face flesh fall off, relatives can't recognize.

Dreadful!

Enough! Stop it!

I have to go wee-wee!

Don't mind him!

Continue your dinner!

Your are a good nurse,

open wide!

You can go home now.

But doctor, I ache all over!

That's right! He can't even eat dinner!

If you treat me the same way,

I'd also say the same thing.

Okay, check out!

But, doctor, I'm in pain!

Doc don't believe him. He's faking.

He's just after the nurse.

Because his wife is out of town.

He's on the prowl

You See!

Why you!

OK!

If you can attack him.

You're well enough to go home! Don't waste the taxpayers money!

You have 15 minutes to leave!

What are you hanging around for?

Let's go home and rest.

Wow! What a nice kitchen!

Oh boy, candy!

Try some! It's good!

Then I'll show you your room!

Ah Chow, where are you going?

To take a bath.

I'll draw your water for you.

No need!

Be careful!

What's the matter?

The door is locked.

Security precaution.

Keep away burglars.

Watch!

Open sesame!

Not bad! A bit of a mess, though!

What's this?

Funny mirror!

Cloth dryer!

Tidying up doesn't mean it's clean!

See?

An ant!

A little insecticide

will fix that.

Anymore complaints?

Is this K-7390068?

Yes, who do you want to speak to?

Who are you?

Who are you?

You are calling me!

Tell Ah Chow to come to the phone!

He's busy!

Busy. Doing what?

Taking a bath!

Close the door, will you?

He's taking a bath without closing the door?

Fogging up the whole house!

I have to keep an eye on you.

Relax. You can't get rid of me that easily.

Can you call later?

What's your relationship to Ah Chow?

I can't tell you.

What are you two up to?

Nothing.

Just getting ready to go to bed!

Call back later, will you?

No need, just tell Ah Chow.

To watch out!

Who was it?

A woman, asking for Ah Chow!

Must be Anna. What did he say?

Nothing, I told her Ah Chow was taking a bath.

Because it's bedtime.

What did she say?

She said to tell Ah Chow to watch out?

Then she hung up.

She sounded angry!

Was it Anna?

Yes, she goodnight, everybody!

What did Anna say?

She said she loves you and

She'll show you how much when she return.

Now don't kid around, otherwise I'm dead.

No, don't say that!

You'll be around for a long time.

Anna said she'll take you on vacation.

When she comes back.

Relax? With her hanging around?

Can't even die peacefully!

Don't say that. Now go to sleep.

Goodnight!

Goodnight!

I have to help him enjoy his last few months.

Any good tours?

Oh, no!

Ah Chow, you can't die!

Up, up, down, down

have you still moonlighting for the travel agent?

Not so loud!

Got some business for you.

Where do you want to go?

Two week tour in Asia, around $1000.

$1000 will get you a tour around town.

Stop kidding, where do you want to go?

Philippines!

I heard he had great Sunday Rallies.

When can one depart?

As soon as I see the money.

When do you want to go?

As soon as possible!

And don't let Ah Chow know.

Don't tell anyone.

I should know. I'm the one moonlighting.

Another thing, I want your opinion.

Since you are the oldest here.

I mean the most experienced.

That's right! 30 years in the force.

Out lasted four superintendents.

First one retired, second one jailed.

Third one died, fourth one quit.

If you suddenly dropped dead.

Such compensation would the government for.

Why should I drop that, why not you.

I said "if"

If you dropped dead, you'd get

mutual assistance fund, insurance, funeral fund.

All together, added up to quite a bit

how much is that.

More than the retirement fund.

Enough for widows and children to leave ahead.

Why?

Planning for the future!

Don't you know.

A cemetery agent?

Yes! Why?

I want to look into corruption in his file.

Help me Page him! OK!

Diddling time!

Ah Chow's not here yet

I'll bid for him.

He asked me to.

This weakly "Brotherly loan" scheme is gift.

Highest bid on interest gets the loan.

I need the loan this week.

I bid $48.

Let's see. Horsey $5.

Don't you need the loan, Horsey?

Why do I need a loan?

It's off-season for horse-racing.

I only expense its cigarettes.

Freddie $50.

Hey! You said $45 when I hypnotized you.

It stuff works, would you still be pushing.

No fair...!

Stop! Let's look at mine!

$52!

I've been misled no fair!

Stop! Last bid!

Ah Chow bids $100. $100?

Hand it over!

Here's my $100.

Mine!

Thanks!

Ah Chow, you must really me desperate.

Paying $100 interest for a $600 loan.

$100?

How else and I be sure of a sure win?

But $100 is a lot of interest!

You don't have to pay it!

I'll pay it for you!

That's different. Hey ...

We're friends, aren't we?

I have a dig day tonight. Can you lend me the money?

Big deal! Ah Chow has a dig day too!

You run along. Go enjoy yourself.

Leave everything to me!

Ah Chow, I'm warning you!

If you go out while on duty, I'll report

Abort the report, shorty!

You make a lot of personal calls on duty.

I can report you also.

Ah Chow, you run along!

To where?

Anywhere, just have a good time.

For you!

May, you stay with me!

How many, sir?

Please!

This is very good styling!

How about the interior?

Great use of space.

Any brighter units?

Then this is for you

bright and breezy.

Eat you ice-cream!

What kind of decor?

Decor?

Contemporary!

Beautiful surroundings!

Can't be too cramped?

Right! Won't do if it's too cramped.

Well, you can combine two units together.

You're bachelor. It should be really enough.

What do you know?

So you're buying a house, big deal!

Eat your heart out!

Don't mind her.

Hows the location?

Beautiful scenery!

Mountains and oceans view.

I wouldn't steer you wrong.

But it could get lonely.

Right. You need a clear location but near people.

How about happy valley?

Convenient for visitors!

Happy valley?

It gets awfully noisy on race days.

No problem. Our construction is designed

So that every unit is sound proof.

How about pedestrian traffic?

We have good security!

24 hours a day!

Sounds good!

Why are you so excited?

You're right. You're one moving.

How about her neighbours?

Keep to themselves.

Who are they?

How do you expect him to know?

It's best if there are some female neighbor.

Might get lonely!

Doesn't have to be female, does it?

I can't guarantee the labors will be female.

But I'll try to arrange it!

About the price

Money is no problem.

But one condition. Don't let Ah Chow know.

Or he'll get upset!

Well?

I can't decide, can I take this home?

Here, take this one.

Contents are the same!

Waiter, check!

It's getting very dramatic.

This shot will decide the winner.

Have some tea!

Turn this thing off!

So noisy

You

I'll serve dinner!

I ate already.

Have some soup then!

This is my house.

If I want soup, I'll help myself.

Why are you so rude?

Be quiet!

He's right. It's his house.

I always share everything with you.

But it seems like generosity is one way.

But I shouldn't lose your apron without asking you.

No problem. Help yourself.

You won't be doing it for much longer.

What are you talking about?

You know what I'm talking about!

Mountain and ocean view. Beautiful surroundings.

Let me have one month notice before you move.

Who says I'm moving?

You're planning to move.

I've seen some petty people.

But you take the cake.

It's hard to take!

Don't you want Beethoven to

Leave more comfortably?

Kids shouldn't meddle.

I'm just trying to help.

No need. We're OK.

You are OK? He's picking on you.

But you stand all the time making soup just for him.

If I were you, I'd add poison in the soup.

Who are you? Cinderella's step-mother?

Just mind your own business.

But he's bullying you!

May I be struck dead if I break this promise.

Don't say that!

I'm losing one friend already!

Take another kind of oath!

How else can I prove my sincerity?

Swear you'll give up disco.

I, May Lo, do solemnly swear that

if I let out that Ah Chow has lung cancer

May I never said food into another disco

so you were talking about cemeteries.

With that man!

Yes, Ah Chow is

No good at handing these things.

Don't put him at Morrison Hill, too far.

Nearer, we can visit more of-ten.

I won't cremate him.

He's so afraid of fire!

He doesn't even barbecue.

Ah Chow, in my mind, I've told you to drop to hell.

But I don't mean it! Don't die!

Let's go back out!

Otherwise, he'll suspect!

Ah Chow!

Who won.

Why do you have that on?

So I can hear better.

What's the matter?

Here have some tea!

He's sensitive because his dad coughed to die.

I'll close the window.

Help...!

Damn! My gun is inside the room. I'll get mine!

Help...!

Hold on May, I'm coming!

Take this!

You OK?

Just practicing my tumbling!

Well, you carry on, I'm go help May!

No matter what happens, don't come out.

Freeze!

Shoot him!

Careful!

Sorry, I didn't mean it!

I'm OK!

Move aside, you too!

I don't get pay for killing idiots!

Go in and help May, I'll stop him.

No, I'm ordering you.

I'm not taking your order.

Leave him to me!

Why pick now to disobey my order?

Leave him to me!

No. Chop me!

Don't chop him, chop me

Chop me

Chop me

Here, chop me!

Stop arguing with me.

Beethoven!

Don't worry about me! Get Bay out of here!

Ah Chow!

Go to hell!

Beethoven!

You've killed him. I'll get you!

You've killed him. I'll get you!

Ah Chow, I'll get revenge for you!

I'll revenge your violent death!

Beethoven.

What? You're OK?

I'm okay. Just a few aches here and there.

OK, time out. Enough for today.

I challenge you to a duel instead.

Tomorrow 2:30 at the peak!

Please wait, I can't tomorrow, my wife is coming Day after tomorrow!

Don't move!

You move and I'll shoot!

I'm not kidding!

Shoot him...!

Shoot him?

Shoot!

Go ahead shoot!

No, don't shoot!

Stop or I'll shoot!

Shoot! don't shoot!

Shoot...!

Don't shoot! Shoot!

Shoot if you have the guts!

Shoot... May... shoot!

Don't shoot!

Shoot! Gotta die sooner of later!

Really want me to shoot?

Ah Chow!

Are you OK?

Ah Chow! Don't die!

At least wait until Anna comes back!

He's coming back tomorrow. You can die tomorrow.

Who's dying? Can't guy faint once in a life.

Help tidy up!

We get Lee Hong to court,

Escort May Lo to testify against him.

And our job is complete.

Where's May Lo?

Beethoven and Ah Chow is keeping an eye on her.

At your house!

He's just a little kid.

The phone call

what phone call?

Oh, nothing!

What is it?

Nothing, really!

They should be here soon. Let go take a look.

OK!

Why are you all standing here for?

Dinner that phone call

I know already.

You're May Lo?

Yes!

I have some questions to ask you!

Sir, I have something to discuss with you.

I have to take her statement.

Why are you bagging along?

No reason!

If you have business to discuss with me.

But save private matters for home.

Is private!

Sorry, madam!

Are you PC2020, Ng Ah Chow?

Yes!

I must apologize about the computer error.

Really sorry!

What computer error?

The computer went haywire.

And reported you had lung cancer.

Actually you don't!

What?

Is a mistake. You don't have lung cancer.

Please sir, please!

But I can't let him go on leave now.

I know it's unreasonable. But please, sir! Stop it! Attention!

I won't "attention". Please sign here, sir. Out!

I won't go out until you sign!

Please sign! I give up!

Thanks, sir! Bless you!

May your dog give birth to a thousand puppies.

Do you have it?

Where's the money?

2-weeks southeast-Asia tour.

Airfare, hotel, meals, all included.

Enjoy yourself!

I've helped you applied for a leave!

Leave? What am I gonna do? Stay at home.

No, take a tour of southeast Asia.

It's free! I won a raffle!

Southeast Asia?

Hawaii would be better.

I've always wanted to go to Hawaii.

Hawaii is OK!

Just add $400.

That's a good deal. But

but what?

Spending money.

I'll have to save a few years first!

No, the price includes spending money.

How much?

$3000!

No. $5000!

No. $7000!

That's more like it!

But I can't just leave Anna by herself.

Oh, I also won next year's raffle.

I'll use each this year so Anna can go.

Will she agree to go?

Leave it to me!

By the way, is the spending money in US dollars?

Yes US dollars!

Okay, I'll go!

It's not $400. it's $4000.

Not US dollars is it?

How did you guess? Hand over the money.

Not so loud! Give me the money and I"ll show you how quiet.

If Anna knows about Ah Chow's conditions.

She'll surely go on vacation with him.

But I don't think it's good to let her know.

Might upset her.

And the baby.

What baby?

The one they might have on the second honeymoon.

I hope they have a son

To carry on the family name.

Yeah!

Ah Chow

Will it work?

Of course, now go change!

Go I guarantee once Anna see you.

She'll want to go to Hawaii.

Hi, Anna, back already?

Yes!

Hi, Anna!

Aloha!

Aloha means welcome in Hawaiian.

What are you two up to?

Hi, honey! Aloha!

Like it. Honey?

What is it?

Are Hawaiian shirt?

Very nice. Give me a hand!

Have to finish this tonight.

I'll go get my slippers.

No reaction yet!

Ah Chow!

What's the matter, honey.

What's all this?

Where did you steal this forest from?

Doesn't this look like Hawaii?

Stroll along palm trees, Hula cancers.

Wouldn't it be night to go with Ah Chow!

No time! Too much work to do.

At least we have this Hawaiian scenery.

We'll have to stroll here!

Back to work!

Anna, try my pina colada!

I made it just for you. Thanks!

Anna, don't bypass this opportunity.

What opportunity? Help me copy this.

Ah Chow Won a Baby Formula Drinking Contest.

The price is a

2-week Hawaiian Tour for two.

Right?

Right. After all this years.

I don't release how much I miss the taste of milk.

I wish I'd joined.

I don't know what you're up to. But I don't have the time.

The work can wait.

But the vacation the vacation can wait.

What's so good about Hawaii?

Actually, I don't feel like going either.

All people talk about are the beautiful beach.

Besides strolling on the beach at sunset.

Warm gentle breeze blowing in your face.

People also rave about the Huia dancers.

Hips gently swaying to the relaxing music.

That's nothing special about Hawaii.

Sure, there hospitality is

know-worldwide.

Besides that, that's nothing but good shopping.

And who cares about shopping, right? Honey.

Oh, no use talking about it. My mind is mature.

I guess you'll have to go. Beethoven.

I guess I'll have to wait!

Right?

Right, no! No right!

Better tell Anna the truth.

Do I have to? Yes!

OK!

Anna, can I talk to you?

Come inside!

It's nothing what are they talking about?

Idle talk probably!

Idle talk? Why can't they talk here?

Maybe is about the birds and the bees

He just look a bit serious.

I've never seen him like that before.

Ah Chow!

We're going to Hawaii!

Do we have to, honey?

Yes, we have to!

How did it happen?

A fly!

A fly?

Yes, a fly flew into the computer.

And threw it off key.

It's this fly here, sir!

Really? This fly?

Doesn't seem like this one to me.

Yes, sir. This is the fly. All flies look the same.

How do you know this not the one?

Exactly. If you know all flies look all the same.

Why did you bring the germ-infected thing to me.

Come in!

Sir, Ah Chow is starting his vacation.

I'm returning his gun.

Put it here!

So now what?

The computer is out.

Damn the computer, what I mean is Sir

Am I disrupting?

No!

Let me go instead.

Sit down. I haven't finished!

Did anyone suffer inconvenience.

Because of this incident?

Let's see yes or no?

Two people, Tsui Kwai.

And Ng Ah Chow!

Tsui himself spotted the error.

For Ng, the computer said he had lung cancer.

But I notified him of the error!

You mean Ah Chow knows he doesn't have cancer?

Yes!

Well. I'm off to get darken!

Remember to bring me some pineapples!

OK!

No need to strife us!

I've arranged for a car to drive May to court.

OK, see you when I get back.

Don't move or I'll plug you with lead.

Ah Chow doesn't look very happy!

He probably misses us. Hi!

Follow them!

Tell them to stop and get in your car.

Stop get in my car!

No need. You run along!

I don't care how you do it.

Just get them to follow you to the car park.

Otherwise you are dead!

OK, anyway I choose, right?

There's a gun pointed at me.

He want you to follow me to the car park.

You two are crazy, always fooling around.

He might not come, he thinks I'm kidding shut up!

Shut up!

What are you doing? Stop playing around

tell him to come over.

OK, game's over!

You're asking for it!

Game's not over until I say so.

See, here he comes.

OK. then come over here.

Why not?

Come here if you dare!

Careful, buddy!

Can't you do something right just once?

Maybe next time!

Tell the girl to come over.

Fast!

May, come here!

Stop playing around. I'm not coming over!

Let's get going.

She won't come, I'll go get her!

May, drive away fast!

Run him down!

Watch my legs, will you?

Chase after him!

Ram him, in his behind.

Christ!

You OK?

Take this!

Ah Chow!

No...!

Don't move!

Give me the girl.

Or I'll stab him.

Put down the wood!

Let's talk things over!

Let him stab me to death.

No...!

Listen. Mr. assassin, sir.

You let him go and we forget this incidence.

No grudges, OK?

Did I scramble your brain at first

I'm counting to three. Send the girl over.

Don't please, after all, we've met before.

It was nice of you to drop in the other night.

One! No, not one.

Don't send May over!

I'd rather die!

Two! No fair, I wasn't ready Start from one again.

You hear him. It's two soon. It's three.

Think about now I'll look with that thing struck.

Don't blink, you might miss my dying breath.

Wait! I can't send May over!

But take me hostage instead.

Don't you speak up earlier? It's tiring standing here.

Beethoven!

He pretty determine. And maybe he knows about he has cancer.

And wants to die in the line of duty.

Let's help him fulfill his wish.

Three!

Ah Chow!

Ah Chow!

Anna, darling!

Stay back or he's dead!

Ah Chow!

Talk to Ah Chow.

He is very reckless, acts like he want to die.

Maybe he knows he has cancer.

And is ready to sacrifice himself.

Ah Chow. Take it easy!

Just because you have cancer.

It's better than being dead.

Dust to dust, ashes to ashes.

I have nothing to leave you when I die.

Except for the strength of my character.

Buddy, make your move!

Ah Chow, I'll always cherish your character.

You can go in peace, I'll never forget you.

I'll stay a widow in your remembrance.

Honey!

If I remarry, he'll be another Sammy like you.

That way, the kiss will look like you.

See you in heaven, let's wrap, man.

Honey, I don't want to die!

Why not?

Because because

Because of what?

Because I don't have cancer!

I don't believe you, no need to comfort me.

It is the truth, I knew about the computer error.

I kept up the facade to take advantage of Beethoven.

OK. you said it!

Yes

stop where you are!

I'm talking to my husband, none of your business!

Freeze!

Let's go!

Good going, honey!

Are we still going to Hawaii?

Ah Chow!

Beethoven!

I was just playing a joke on you!

No harm done, right?

Right, no harm done! Let's go!

1,2,3!

Take this!