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1
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:23,589
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
2
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,717
[LAUGHING]
3
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:48,099
MAN:
It is not the money.
4
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:51,541
No, even a few millions
would not disturb me.
5
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,874
But it's the ingratitude.
6
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:58,280
The ingratitude that cuts into the heart.
7
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,647
Is that not so...
8
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,950
...Mr. Cariago?
9
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:09,496
Yes, Uncle Giuliano. It's a bad business.
10
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:12,861
Heh, heh. Bad indeed. Bad indeed.
11
00:02:13,266 --> 00:02:16,259
It is a sad lesson for the whole family,
my friends.
12
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:17,904
[OVER STETHOSCOPE]
Twenty years ago...
13
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:19,334
...we invested a small fortune--
14
00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:21,168
No, it was large fortune.
15
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:24,505
--in a miserable pile of sand
in the American desert.
16
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:29,140
Now, we turned that pile of sand
into the largest gambling spot...
17
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,841
...in the whole world.
18
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:34,484
What do we get back for it in return?
19
00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:37,589
- Mr. Cariago?
- Well, you see, uncle--
20
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:41,889
Disrespect, disloyalty,
and then we get dispossessed.
21
00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:44,228
That's what we get in return.
22
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:46,594
Suddenly, the whole town
goes legitimate.
23
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,994
We can't collect
our family taxes anymore.
24
00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:54,072
Ah, yes, it's the old story.
25
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:57,872
A child grows into manhood,
becomes rich.
26
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:01,573
Heh. And hides his parents in a closet...
27
00:03:01,748 --> 00:03:05,617
...ashamed to acknowledge them
in public.
28
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:09,917
It's a sad thing, is it not, Mr. Cariago?
29
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:14,191
Yes, Uncle Giuliano. It's very sad.
30
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:18,890
But what is even sadder,
the seeds of ingratitude...
31
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:21,228
...flourished in your backyard.
32
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:23,965
Yes, sir, I know.
33
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,402
The problem will be taken care of
pretty soon.
34
00:03:26,573 --> 00:03:28,542
Oh, pretty soon.
35
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,110
Is this the same pretty soon
you promised a month ago...
36
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:34,271
...or is it a different kind of pretty soon?
37
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,747
But, Uncle Giuliano,
you know only last week...
38
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:38,579
...I-- I sent a dozen men in there.
39
00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:44,085
All I got to show for it
is a dozen funerals.
40
00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:46,453
A dozen funerals, huh?
41
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,928
Well, my dear nephew,
we'll give you another week.
42
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:53,798
And I sincerely hope, for your sake,
that you succeed.
43
00:03:58,338 --> 00:04:01,740
Otherwise, your own funeral
will make it a baker's dozen.
44
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:05,243
And 13 is such an unlucky number.
45
00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:16,612
You looking for termites?
46
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,419
Or maybe you're selling
magazine subscriptions.
47
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:23,030
ILLYA [IN ELDERLY VOICE]:
No, I'm just a little old winemaker.
48
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,664
[GRUNTS]
49
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,308
[GUNFIRE]
50
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,711
ILLYA:
Napoleon!
51
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,892
Hyah!
52
00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:55,392
[SOLO SHOUTS IN ITALIAN]
53
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,857
[ITALIAN ACCENT]
Hey!
54
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,800
What's the matter with you?
You think you own the road?
55
00:05:51,618 --> 00:05:53,814
Unfortunately, what you didn't learn...
56
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:58,755
...was what really was the crucial point
of the conference.
57
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:03,161
The international crime syndicate
must have had pressing reasons...
58
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:05,060
...for calling a meeting at this high level.
59
00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:08,396
The usual reason that family
gets together is funerals.
60
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:09,695
Yeah, large ones.
61
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,806
Well, how large and for whom
is what you'll endeavor to find out.
62
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:18,139
Well, if there's a burial plot afoot, sir,
Illya and I will uncover it.
63
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,974
Would you mind keeping me out
of your morbid puns, please?
64
00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:24,379
I'm afraid you're included, Mr. Kuryakin.
65
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:31,017
I suggest you both stick as close
as you possibly can to Frank Cariago.
66
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,760
Whatever the assignment is, it's his.
67
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,190
And it's big.
68
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,729
Nasty-looking bird.
69
00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:46,764
Where does it nest?
70
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,238
WAVERLY:
It's migratory.
71
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,439
I believe it propagates in Beverly Hills.
72
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:36,948
WOMAN:
Hi.
73
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:47,790
How do you do?
74
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,494
Very nicely, thank you.
What are you doing?
75
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:54,000
I'm the pool repairman.
76
00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,575
Oh, is the pool broken?
77
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,475
I don't know yet.
78
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,817
I've been sent to check it out.
79
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,784
This is Mr. Cariago's pool, isn't it?
80
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:13,358
Everything here is Mr. Cariago's.
81
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:17,156
It's awfully nice of your company
to send a man out.
82
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,926
We like to keep an eye
on our important clients, Miss, uh...?
83
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,031
LaVeer. Ginger LaVeer.
84
00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:26,605
I'm Mr. Cariago's, uh, friend.
85
00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:33,346
I'll bet it takes a long time to learn
how to fix broken swimming pools.
86
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,338
It takes a while.
87
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:40,983
I'll bet you meet so many beautiful girls
in your job, you get tired of looking at them.
88
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:42,884
It takes a few.
89
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:46,458
I see you're the strong, silent type.
90
00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:50,125
I have to concentrate on my job.
91
00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:51,286
GINGER [OVER RADIO]:
Why?
92
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,695
The television repairman didn't have to.
93
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:59,002
Neither did the refrigerator repairman,
or the electric-toaster repairman.
94
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:02,298
Ooh, or the egg-cooker repairman.
95
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:04,872
Egg-cooker repairman?
96
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,843
The egg-cooker repairman?
97
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:11,508
Yes, Frank-- Mr. Cariago.
--eats an awful lot of eggs.
98
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:25,965
Hey, listen, if I'm bugging you,
just let me know.
99
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:29,098
No, you're not bugging me.
100
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:31,033
GINGER:
It just gets so lonely here.
101
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:33,696
Mr. Cariago travels all the time,
you know.
102
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:36,809
He just got back from a visit
with his family in Sicily...
103
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,968
...and then he had to take
a business trip.
104
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:42,513
And I'm stuck here with nothing to do
but float around on my mattress...
105
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:44,241
...and read the show-business papers.
106
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:49,620
- Are you in show business?
- I used to be. I was a go-go dancer.
107
00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:52,190
But I had to quit
because I kept catching cold.
108
00:09:52,358 --> 00:09:54,623
I'll be back
in the swim pretty soon though.
109
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:59,289
Frank-- I mean, Mr. Cariago
has promised to get me a part in a movie.
110
00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:01,968
Where is Mr. Cariago now?
111
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:03,803
He's in Las Vegas. He--
112
00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:05,734
CARIAGO:
Watch that door, you.
113
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,771
Here he is.
114
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:09,365
Been nice knowing you.
115
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:13,309
Thank you. I hope the pool
gets broken again soon.
116
00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:20,316
Frank, honey, what happened to you?
117
00:10:20,487 --> 00:10:23,423
I fell off my skateboard.
Now, shut up and stop bothering me.
118
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,650
Sure. Just let me show you
this one little thing.
119
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:27,657
[OVER RADIO]
It's my big chance, Frank.
120
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:29,557
FRANK: What's today?
MAN: Monday.
121
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:30,988
[FRANK GRUMBLES]
122
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,565
- Not the name, the number.
MAN: The ninth.
123
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:36,965
He went broke again, Frank, honey.
You could buy in for almost nothing.
124
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,766
The ninth. Four days left.
125
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:41,908
Only four days left.
126
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,936
Frank, you promised.
127
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:45,942
- Are you gonna shut up?
- But, Frank....
128
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:49,139
Look, you think I don't know
about the television repairman...
129
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,615
...and the refrigerator repairman,
and the egg-cooker repairman?
130
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:54,686
[SCREAMING]
And we don't even have an egg cooker!
131
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:59,349
We have a double boiler.
I can't help it if things get broken, Frank.
132
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:01,427
Maybe I can't help it if you get broken.
133
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:03,557
You promised, Frank, honey.
134
00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:05,358
You said you'd get me in the movies.
135
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:08,559
And here Sheldon Veblen's gone broke
in the middle of his picture...
136
00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:11,068
...and he's just the best director
in Hollywood.
137
00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:14,571
And it's a chance of a lifetime
for a young actress like me.
138
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:16,972
You can buy in for a song, Frank, honey.
139
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:18,611
You want a song?
140
00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:20,371
I'll give you a song.
141
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,539
"Taps Played With Sicilian Bugles."
142
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:26,580
I'm looking into an open grave
and she's yapping on about movies.
143
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:28,745
Why don't you get lost, huh?
144
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:32,450
Get lost before I put you back
into that glass cage where I found you.
145
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:36,721
Even the pool repairman
was nicer to me than you are.
146
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:39,832
Hmm. How much nicer?
147
00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:41,592
GINGER [OVER RADIO]:
A lot nicer.
148
00:11:41,768 --> 00:11:43,259
She's exaggerating.
149
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,904
Mm-hm.
150
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:48,132
Boss, take a look at this.
151
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:51,210
- Not you too.
- No, no, look.
152
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:54,671
So the guy's making a picture
about Sodom and Gomorrah.
153
00:11:54,847 --> 00:11:57,510
What's the matter? You got an urge
to go back to Sunday school, huh?
154
00:11:57,684 --> 00:12:00,483
Don't you remember what happened
to those two towns, boss?
155
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:03,248
CARIAGO: Huh?
- Yeah.
156
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:05,392
[LAUGHS]
157
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,824
CARIAGO:
Eh? Yeah. Yeah.
158
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:12,524
Ginger? Ginger, sweetheart.
159
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:15,533
Come over here to Papa, baby.
160
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:20,367
What are you sulking about?
161
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,009
[CRYING]
You said you'd get me in the movies.
162
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,607
Well, did Big Frank Papa
ever welsh on a promise, huh?
163
00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:28,907
You mean you'll give me my chance?
164
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:34,521
If my baby wants Technicolor CinemaScope,
my baby gets Technicolor CinemaScope.
165
00:12:34,687 --> 00:12:36,121
Oh, you mean it, Frank, honey?
166
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,224
Oh, you bet your sweet mattress
I mean it, baby.
167
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,859
GINGER: Oh.
CARIAGO: Ow!
168
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:41,756
- Get off.
- Aah!
169
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,300
Look at this, boss.
170
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,093
No.
171
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:54,733
Don't you realize who planted that bug?
172
00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:56,307
Uncle Giuliano.
173
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,342
You mean that cute pool repairman
was an uncle?
174
00:12:58,511 --> 00:12:59,638
CARIAGO:
Shh.
175
00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:02,577
That cute pool repairman
was from uncle.
176
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:04,047
I think so, boss.
177
00:13:04,217 --> 00:13:06,880
Yeah. Boy, that's just
like uncle's style.
178
00:13:07,053 --> 00:13:09,454
Sending a pool repairman
to check up on me.
179
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,090
He never did like me.
180
00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:13,488
As if I don't have enough trouble
on my own already.
181
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,788
[WHISPERS]
Here, take this.
182
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,931
Put it over there.
183
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:26,529
[BEE BUZZING]
184
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:30,006
I think we've got a bug in our bug.
185
00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:33,002
[CHATTERING]
186
00:13:35,915 --> 00:13:36,905
CROWD:
Aw....
187
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:40,417
Look, Mac, you're a big winner.
All I need is a thousand.
188
00:13:40,586 --> 00:13:44,887
A measly thousand bucks
and she's yours, all yours. My own wife.
189
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,993
Take her, like new. Hardly been used.
190
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,753
I gotta have another chance.
191
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:52,057
Cut, cut, cut.
192
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:53,860
Beautiful, Twill. Magnificent.
193
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:57,026
You filled that scene
with all the emotion of a fire hydrant.
194
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,331
I'm trying my best, Mr. Veblen.
195
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,871
"I'm trying my best, Mr. Veblen."
196
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:05,171
We are shooting the modern version
of the Sodom and Gomorrah story, Twill...
197
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,406
...not a travelogue
about Passaic, New Jersey.
198
00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:11,551
You are in the sin capital of the world.
199
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:16,053
A cauldron of corruption,
a kettle of calumny.
200
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:18,521
- Kettle of what?
- Calumny.
201
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,658
VEBLEN:
Shh. Shh.
202
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:21,851
Odd.
203
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:26,564
This scene
should positively ooze decadence...
204
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:29,669
...degradation and dissolution.
205
00:14:31,237 --> 00:14:32,899
Oh, boy.
206
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,433
You, with the green spots all over you.
Who are you?
207
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:41,570
Uh, Napoleon Solo, uh, Mr. Veblen.
From Screen Bits Magazine.
208
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,547
We'd like to do an article on your film.
209
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,052
Have you been taking this down?
210
00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:50,422
Just making
some background notes, yes.
211
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:54,319
Well, wouldn't want you to give your
readers the wrong impression, Mr. Solo.
212
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,395
We have our occasional squabbles,
of course...
213
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,191
...but basically,
we're just one big happy family here.
214
00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:00,856
Isn't that right, Twill?
215
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,400
Yes, Mr. Veblen. We couldn't be happier.
216
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,037
- Okay?
SOLO: Mm.
217
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:06,263
Harry again.
218
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,203
Harry? Harry, what are you doing here?
219
00:15:08,374 --> 00:15:10,172
For goodness sakes, Harry,
what are you doing?
220
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:12,903
Look, I'm sorry, Sheldon,
but, uh, that's a court order...
221
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:16,914
- ...to impound your equipment.
- Harry, you can't do this to me.
222
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,552
- Film is a living, breathing thing.
- Breathing thing.
223
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:20,709
Say, you can't--
224
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:24,790
Listen, the creative process can't be
turned off like a-- Like a leaky faucet.
225
00:15:24,957 --> 00:15:28,086
See what they're doing to me? I'm glad
you're here to see this, you reporters.
226
00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:31,363
Wolves, vultures, philistines.
227
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:32,863
- Phili-what?
VEBLEN: Stines.
228
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:34,967
- Stines, stines.
VEBLEN: Take it all, go ahead.
229
00:15:35,134 --> 00:15:37,000
That's it. Why stop with the--?
With the set?
230
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:39,935
Take the cast, for goodness sakes.
Take-- Take the script.
231
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,268
Here. Wait a minute, you want me
to cut out my heart...
232
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,535
...so you can take that too?
233
00:15:43,709 --> 00:15:44,972
Uh, no, that won't be necessary.
234
00:15:45,144 --> 00:15:47,579
You see, the orders specify
only negotiable items. I'm sorry.
235
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,613
[VEBLEN MOANING]
236
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:53,150
Ugh, all right, everybody, gather round.
237
00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:15,772
I see a lot of familiar faces here,
so most of you...
238
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:18,241
...have probably heard
my farewell speech before.
239
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:22,348
You know, it starts out, "The philistines
have won another triumph...
240
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:26,509
...in the never-ending war
between art and profit."
241
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,678
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
242
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:31,485
Doubtless, you remember the rest of it.
243
00:16:32,191 --> 00:16:35,320
So I don't have to bother repeating it.
244
00:16:36,262 --> 00:16:39,198
I, uh, just wanna thank you all
for your--
245
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:42,132
Your efforts.
246
00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:44,667
And your enthusiasm.
247
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:46,828
And I--
248
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,033
I'm only sorry that this film
will never be finished.
249
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:51,643
All right, hold everything!
250
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,982
VEBLEN: All of a sudden
I got a cast of thousands?
251
00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:59,380
What is this? I can't even make
a farewell speech without being interrupted.
252
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:03,080
Take it easy, Mr. Veblen.
Put that table back where you got it.
253
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,782
Now, wait, wait, just a minute here.
Who are you?
254
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,051
His name is Cariago.
255
00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:08,421
HARRY:
So it's Ca--
256
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:11,894
Frank Cariago. You heard it before?
257
00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:15,824
Uh, oh, yes, Mr. Cariago.
258
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:19,664
Why don't you and your boys go out
and give us a stiff cup of coffee, huh?
259
00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,899
Well, we-- We-- We....
260
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:27,778
I guess a five-minute, uh,
break wouldn't hurt us.
261
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:32,317
[CHATTERING]
262
00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:35,148
CARIAGO: I understand you're having
a little financial difficulty.
263
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:38,450
Are you another vulture
who has come to pick at my bones?
264
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,149
Oh, not me, pal.
265
00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:45,393
How much would it take, uh,
to get you back in the black?
266
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:46,760
We're shooting in color.
267
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,993
No, I mean financially.
268
00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:51,763
- Well over a million.
- How much is "well over"?
269
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:55,364
Another million?
270
00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:58,534
You mean 2 million
would get all these cameras rolling again?
271
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:00,602
Roughly.
272
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,815
CARIAGO: Hey, you.
- Huh?
273
00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,747
- You a reporter?
- Yeah.
274
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:07,750
Well, uh, mister, uh...?
275
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:08,910
[IN NASAL TONE]
Solo.
276
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:12,957
Well, Mr. Solo, you can tell your readers
that Mr. Veblen has got a new backer.
277
00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:15,094
The cameras
are gonna start rolling again.
278
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,354
Ah.
279
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,896
You know, your name is, uh,
familiar to me, Mr. Cariago.
280
00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:20,055
[CARIAGO CHUCKLES]
281
00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:21,894
I didn't know
motion-picture investments...
282
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:25,436
...were among your many
and diverse interests.
283
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:27,401
What?
284
00:18:27,573 --> 00:18:30,907
Well, what I mean is, uh,
what's your angle?
285
00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:33,301
My angle?
286
00:18:33,479 --> 00:18:36,108
Precisely what I was, uh,
going to ask, Mr. Cariago.
287
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,148
Um, what's the, uh--?
What's the gimmick?
288
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:40,118
[LAUGHING]
289
00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:41,779
CARIAGO:
The gimmick.
290
00:18:42,588 --> 00:18:44,887
Ginger, baby!
291
00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:46,787
Yes, Frankie, I'm here.
292
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,459
I knew it.
293
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:51,855
It's the egg-cooker girl.
294
00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:53,761
We'd better find another assignment.
295
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:56,368
Oh, don't go, boys.
You wanna get some publicity shots...
296
00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:57,901
...of a brand-new star.
297
00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,299
Uh, thanks, but I tell you, I--
298
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,839
MAN:
If the boss says you stay, you stay.
299
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:03,340
GINGER:
Hi.
300
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,006
CARIAGO:
Ginger, this is Mr. Veblen.
301
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:10,081
Oh, Mr. Veblen, I'm so thrilled
to be meeting you at last.
302
00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:12,548
I've seen every movie you ever made.
303
00:19:12,718 --> 00:19:15,984
I saw Gone with the Wind four times.
304
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:20,149
Glad you liked it.
I was 12 years old when it was made.
305
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:24,018
Really? I would have never guessed.
306
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:30,596
This is Ginger LaVeer.
She's your new star.
307
00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:34,298
- You're joking.
- No, I never joke.
308
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,435
Well?
309
00:19:37,810 --> 00:19:43,807
Well, I have a choice
between bankruptcy and Ginger Baby.
310
00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:46,980
Death by fire or death by water.
311
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,649
I prefer to drown.
312
00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:52,485
Heh.
You'll never regret it, Sheldon.
313
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:54,588
MAN:
Take a picture.
314
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,697
Oh, hello there.
I see you've got another job too.
315
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,861
Did you have to be so nice to her?
316
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:04,031
ILLYA:
She was lonely.
317
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:09,000
- What's all this about?
- That was the pool repairman.
318
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:10,165
The what?
319
00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:12,470
Stop those two!
Don't let them get away.
320
00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:18,207
CARIAGO:
Stop!
321
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,129
I know who you are.
322
00:20:37,369 --> 00:20:39,998
- You do?
- Yeah.
323
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:43,574
What, you think I'm stupid, huh?
You were sent by uncle.
324
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:48,375
FRANK:
Angelo, shake hands with mister, uh...?
325
00:20:48,547 --> 00:20:49,674
Uh, Solo.
326
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:52,683
Oh, come on, you can use
your right name with us.
327
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:55,253
After all, we're all part
of the same family.
328
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:58,016
Well, if you don't mind,
I'll keep this one.
329
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:01,354
CARIAGO: This is mister, uh...?
- Kuryakin.
330
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:05,259
Oh, boy, they sure do come up
with beautiful names, don't they?
331
00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,159
I like it.
332
00:21:07,333 --> 00:21:11,828
Fellas, I want you to treat these two
just like you treat me.
333
00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,666
They were sent here by uncle.
334
00:21:16,642 --> 00:21:18,270
Uncle Giuliano.
335
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,138
[ALL LAUGHING]
336
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:26,614
ILLYA:
Welcome.
337
00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:38,026
Welcome to the family, cousin.
338
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,626
VEBLEN:
Fellas, stand up, look lively, huh?
339
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,201
I think I'm beginning
to enjoy the family life.
340
00:21:43,369 --> 00:21:44,564
VEBLEN:
All right, now, uh....
341
00:21:44,737 --> 00:21:46,968
Well, you haven't met
all your in-laws yet.
342
00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,005
[BELL RINGS]
343
00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:52,373
VEBLEN: Uh, fine. Let's get Ginger--
Uh, dear. Come over here, dear.
344
00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:57,711
All right, now, as the scene opens, dear,
uh, you are in bed alone.
345
00:21:58,083 --> 00:21:59,107
That's it. Get in the bed.
346
00:21:59,285 --> 00:22:02,551
Now, you're in bed alone,
deserted by your husband...
347
00:22:02,721 --> 00:22:05,816
...owner of a large gambling joint,
who's off playing gin rummy...
348
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:07,152
...with his gangster cronies.
349
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:10,819
You lie here in bed,
in the shimmering moonlight.
350
00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:12,965
Shimmering moonlight.
351
00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:16,466
That's good.
You lie here in the shimmering moonlight.
352
00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:21,073
A vision of palpitating beauty,
dreaming the dreams...
353
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,072
...of a lonely and beautiful woman.
354
00:22:23,242 --> 00:22:26,474
Perhaps of some Prince Charming
who will come through the window...
355
00:22:26,645 --> 00:22:27,669
...and carry you off.
356
00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:32,485
When suddenly, someone does
come through the window.
357
00:22:32,651 --> 00:22:34,916
Two masked thugs.
358
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:36,879
Thugs. Come on, come on.
359
00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:41,824
Two masked thugs smelling of garlic.
360
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:44,156
It's the old kidnap caper.
361
00:22:44,330 --> 00:22:46,890
Frightened, you cower in your bed.
362
00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:49,729
Come on, move, move.
You cower in your bed.
363
00:22:49,902 --> 00:22:51,894
That's right. That's it.
364
00:22:52,071 --> 00:22:53,061
Now, before--
365
00:22:53,239 --> 00:22:55,470
Come on. Keep the gun up high,
in the frame.
366
00:22:55,641 --> 00:22:56,631
But before--
367
00:22:56,809 --> 00:22:58,801
That's right, that's it. You are terrified.
368
00:22:59,278 --> 00:23:01,941
You are frightened.
You cower in your bed.
369
00:23:02,114 --> 00:23:06,176
That's it. Now, before they can lay
their hairy hands on your lovely body...
370
00:23:06,352 --> 00:23:09,845
...through the door bursts your husband
and his bodyguard.
371
00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:11,320
Burst.
372
00:23:11,490 --> 00:23:14,688
That's it. And now a fight rages
around the room.
373
00:23:14,860 --> 00:23:17,159
Don't rage me. Rage yourselves.
All right, they are raging.
374
00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:23,132
You are terrified, powerless,
caught in the vortex of this violence.
375
00:23:23,302 --> 00:23:26,067
But what do I do, Mr. Veblen?
376
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:28,229
Do?
377
00:23:29,842 --> 00:23:31,208
Why, you emote.
378
00:23:31,377 --> 00:23:33,539
You are the cause of this carnage.
379
00:23:33,712 --> 00:23:35,180
You can emote, can't you?
380
00:23:35,347 --> 00:23:37,475
Of course, Mr. Veblen.
381
00:23:37,650 --> 00:23:39,448
Help. Help.
382
00:23:39,618 --> 00:23:43,578
Help. Help. Help. Help.
383
00:23:43,756 --> 00:23:45,952
- Uh, that's enough, dear, thank you.
- Help--
384
00:23:46,125 --> 00:23:47,354
That's enough. Uh....
385
00:23:47,526 --> 00:23:52,226
Uh, okay, everybody,
I think it's time to, uh, take a little break.
386
00:23:52,698 --> 00:23:54,599
We'll, uh-- We'll shoot this scene later.
387
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:58,966
And may the Lord have mercy
on our souls.
388
00:24:19,058 --> 00:24:21,721
Uh, Ginger Baby's screen test.
389
00:24:22,795 --> 00:24:23,888
She's not bad.
390
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:28,366
VEBLEN: She'll be the hit of the film
if we can only keep her mouth shut.
391
00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:31,733
I gather the, uh, film
concerns Las Vegas.
392
00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:34,738
That's right.
The modern Sodom and Gomorrah.
393
00:24:34,907 --> 00:24:37,274
A cauldron of corruption, a kettle of ca--
394
00:24:37,443 --> 00:24:39,605
Yes, I know, um....
395
00:24:40,446 --> 00:24:41,573
How does it end?
396
00:24:41,747 --> 00:24:44,615
Just as in the Bible.
The city is destroyed.
397
00:24:45,184 --> 00:24:47,415
Oh, I see, uh....
398
00:24:47,586 --> 00:24:50,784
Could I ask how?
399
00:24:50,956 --> 00:24:54,859
That, Mr. Solo, is where I must stop.
400
00:24:55,594 --> 00:24:57,654
Oh, that's a shame, uh....
401
00:24:57,830 --> 00:25:00,994
The, uh, ending of my film
is classified information.
402
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:02,657
Sorry, Mr. Solo.
403
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:07,000
Oh, wait, wait.
Not even a slight hint, huh?
404
00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:08,401
[WHISPERS]
Not even a whisper.
405
00:25:08,574 --> 00:25:10,065
Oh.
406
00:25:11,944 --> 00:25:13,344
Hmm.
407
00:25:18,851 --> 00:25:22,117
Hi, did you want some more pictures?
408
00:25:22,287 --> 00:25:24,813
Well, as a matter of fact, I did, yes, uh...
409
00:25:24,990 --> 00:25:29,052
...but, uh, I didn't want to bother you
while you're shooting.
410
00:25:29,228 --> 00:25:31,163
Oh, that's all right.
411
00:25:31,330 --> 00:25:36,633
Just because I'm a famous movie star now
doesn't mean I'd forget my old friends.
412
00:25:36,802 --> 00:25:38,498
How nice of you.
413
00:25:38,670 --> 00:25:39,694
Uh....
414
00:25:39,872 --> 00:25:41,966
Oh....
415
00:25:42,641 --> 00:25:47,306
By the way, what do you, uh,
think of your script?
416
00:25:47,479 --> 00:25:49,243
Oh, I just love it.
417
00:25:49,415 --> 00:25:51,714
I mean, those parts that I understand.
418
00:25:51,884 --> 00:25:55,878
Of course, but don't you think
it's, uh, kind of funny?
419
00:25:56,055 --> 00:25:58,286
- Why funny?
- Well, it doesn't have an end.
420
00:25:58,457 --> 00:26:00,892
Oh, that. It really does have an ending.
421
00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,859
But Mr. Veblen won't let anybody know
what it is.
422
00:26:04,263 --> 00:26:06,425
Not even Mr. Cariago?
423
00:26:06,598 --> 00:26:10,000
I mean, after all, it's uh-- It's his money.
424
00:26:10,602 --> 00:26:14,004
I don't know about Frank,
but nobody else knows.
425
00:26:14,173 --> 00:26:18,076
Mr. Veblen says those cheap TV outfits
have spies everywhere.
426
00:26:18,710 --> 00:26:20,110
Isn't it ridiculous?
427
00:26:20,279 --> 00:26:22,578
As if a spy would sneak
into my dressing room...
428
00:26:22,748 --> 00:26:25,274
...just to peek at his crummy old script.
429
00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:28,918
Ridiculous.
430
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:37,090
But I'm the producer.
Why won't you tell me?
431
00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:38,491
I tell no one.
432
00:26:38,664 --> 00:26:41,759
Listen, I put up $2 million, and you're not
even gonna tell me what the end is?
433
00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:43,903
I tell no one.
434
00:26:44,069 --> 00:26:45,628
Well, I hope you have another friend...
435
00:26:45,804 --> 00:26:48,171
...who can come up
with the other 2 million.
436
00:26:48,340 --> 00:26:51,310
To tell you the truth,
I've been dying to tell someone.
437
00:26:52,177 --> 00:26:53,702
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
438
00:26:53,879 --> 00:26:55,006
[LAUGHING]
439
00:26:55,180 --> 00:26:58,150
Boy, when you come up with an end
of a picture, you come up with it.
440
00:26:58,317 --> 00:26:59,307
Well....
441
00:26:59,485 --> 00:27:02,182
I couldn't have done better
if I wrote it myself.
442
00:27:02,354 --> 00:27:04,516
VEBLIN:
All right, places, everybody.
443
00:27:04,690 --> 00:27:07,353
Everything going all right, fellas?
My boys taking good care of you?
444
00:27:07,526 --> 00:27:08,516
ILLYA:
Couldn't be cozier.
445
00:27:08,694 --> 00:27:09,684
[BELL RINGS AND CARIAGO LAUGHS]
446
00:27:09,862 --> 00:27:11,455
Let me congratulate you
on your security.
447
00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:12,723
When you, uh....
448
00:27:13,398 --> 00:27:15,594
When you discovered us,
we still hadn't found out...
449
00:27:15,767 --> 00:27:17,827
...what your plan of operation was.
450
00:27:18,003 --> 00:27:20,234
We've mentioned it in our report.
451
00:27:20,405 --> 00:27:21,771
Oh, thank you, boys.
452
00:27:21,940 --> 00:27:26,878
A good word from you two will
put me in real solid with Uncle Giuliano.
453
00:27:27,045 --> 00:27:30,743
Uh, just what is your plan?
454
00:27:33,085 --> 00:27:36,317
- It's beautiful. Really beautiful--
ANGELO: Boss?
455
00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:39,287
You got a phone call. It's Uncle Giuliano.
456
00:27:39,458 --> 00:27:41,086
All right.
457
00:27:43,896 --> 00:27:46,593
Hey, I got a very private phone call.
458
00:27:46,765 --> 00:27:48,700
You know where I can take it?
459
00:27:50,869 --> 00:27:52,929
My private office is double-locked.
460
00:27:53,105 --> 00:27:54,334
Double-locked?
461
00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:56,600
You'll see why when you get inside.
462
00:27:56,775 --> 00:27:57,868
[LAUGHING]
463
00:27:58,043 --> 00:27:59,705
CARIAGO:
Good boy.
464
00:28:05,651 --> 00:28:07,779
ILLYA:
Uh-oh....
465
00:28:07,953 --> 00:28:08,943
[SOLO CLEARS THROAT]
466
00:28:10,155 --> 00:28:12,454
But, Uncle Giuliano, let me explain.
467
00:28:12,624 --> 00:28:14,354
You better make it good,
my dear nephew.
468
00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:16,791
I'm not in the business
of spending $2 million...
469
00:28:16,962 --> 00:28:18,988
...just so you can see your girl
in a movie.
470
00:28:19,164 --> 00:28:20,291
See my g--?
471
00:28:20,465 --> 00:28:23,367
Uncle Giuliano, you don't really think
that's why I'm doing this, do you?
472
00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:25,163
Straighten me out, then.
473
00:28:25,337 --> 00:28:28,068
Well, Ginger-- That's my broad's name.
474
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:29,640
[OVER PHONE]
--she's only a front...
475
00:28:29,808 --> 00:28:31,174
...to make it look legitimate.
476
00:28:32,277 --> 00:28:33,745
Uncle.
477
00:28:33,912 --> 00:28:37,144
This picture is gonna wipe out Las Vegas
once and for all.
478
00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:38,944
A movie? Heh.
479
00:28:39,117 --> 00:28:41,245
You're gonna wipe out Las Vegas
with a movie?
480
00:28:41,420 --> 00:28:43,013
[CHUCKLING]
481
00:28:44,122 --> 00:28:46,591
Ah, you got a lot of surprises
with a movie.
482
00:28:46,758 --> 00:28:48,624
You can do an awful lot of things.
483
00:28:48,794 --> 00:28:51,696
You remember that little accident
when that bomber crashed in...
484
00:28:51,863 --> 00:28:53,661
...and went right down
in the water, huh?
485
00:28:53,832 --> 00:28:57,394
Yes, I remember. Nothing happened,
just a lot of people got scared.
486
00:28:57,569 --> 00:29:01,836
Yeah, heh, heh. Only this time, uncle,
it's not just gonna be a scare.
487
00:29:02,007 --> 00:29:05,205
You mean you're gonna drop
an atomic bomb on Las Vegas?
488
00:29:05,644 --> 00:29:07,306
It's part of the picture.
489
00:29:07,479 --> 00:29:09,710
It's right there in the script. Heh.
490
00:29:09,881 --> 00:29:13,249
Only, the director, heh, heh,
he plans on using a dummy bomb.
491
00:29:13,719 --> 00:29:16,450
What he doesn't know
is that the bomb is gonna be real.
492
00:29:16,622 --> 00:29:18,352
It's the director that's a dummy.
493
00:29:18,523 --> 00:29:20,116
[CHUCKLING]
494
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:32,631
Oh, Uncle Giuliano,
is that worth 2 million or not, huh?
495
00:29:33,105 --> 00:29:35,438
It is, my nephew,
if you got the real thing.
496
00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:38,634
I got the best munitions man in the world
working on it.
497
00:29:38,810 --> 00:29:42,577
Now, he's guaranteed me that we can make
the loudest bang since Los Alamos.
498
00:29:43,148 --> 00:29:46,243
You know, occasionally, my dear nephew,
there is evidence of a brain or two...
499
00:29:46,418 --> 00:29:48,478
...rattling around in that skull of yours.
500
00:29:49,054 --> 00:29:50,352
Thank you, uncle.
501
00:29:50,522 --> 00:29:53,048
Oh, you don't have to worry
about the two men you sent.
502
00:29:53,225 --> 00:29:54,887
We'll make sure
they're well-taken care of.
503
00:29:55,394 --> 00:29:57,590
- My two what?
- The two men you, uh--
504
00:29:57,763 --> 00:29:59,391
Well, you sent to check up on me.
505
00:29:59,765 --> 00:30:01,597
I sent no men.
506
00:30:01,767 --> 00:30:04,828
You've made your usual stupid blunder,
my dear nephew.
507
00:30:05,937 --> 00:30:08,133
But if you didn't send them, who did?
508
00:30:08,307 --> 00:30:12,108
I don't know,
but you better return them in a box.
509
00:30:20,218 --> 00:30:21,811
[DOOR CLOSES]
510
00:30:33,632 --> 00:30:36,568
Now, quiet, everybody. Let's get ready here.
All right, let's have a bell.
511
00:30:36,735 --> 00:30:37,725
[BELL RINGS]
512
00:30:37,903 --> 00:30:40,498
That's fine. All right, you, get in position.
Come on, let's go.
513
00:30:40,672 --> 00:30:43,574
- All right, roll them.
CAMERAMAN: Scene 26, take one.
514
00:30:43,942 --> 00:30:45,535
VEBLEN:
And action.
515
00:30:45,711 --> 00:30:48,271
GINGER:
Help. Help. Help.
516
00:30:48,447 --> 00:30:51,940
- Help. Help.
- I think the familial honeymoon is over, coz.
517
00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:55,279
Stop those two.
They're from the wrong uncle.
518
00:30:55,454 --> 00:30:57,719
VEBLEN: Lower, more menacing.
GINGER: Help.
519
00:30:57,889 --> 00:30:59,050
Help.
520
00:30:59,224 --> 00:31:00,487
[VEBLEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
521
00:31:00,659 --> 00:31:01,718
[MEN GRUNTING]
522
00:31:01,893 --> 00:31:03,452
Help. Help.
523
00:31:03,628 --> 00:31:06,257
Help. Help. Help.
524
00:31:06,431 --> 00:31:09,230
VEBLEN:
Give us something, or else just shut up.
525
00:31:09,401 --> 00:31:11,961
GINGER:
Help. Help. Help.
526
00:31:12,137 --> 00:31:13,469
VEBLEN:
Fight. Keep rolling.
527
00:31:13,638 --> 00:31:16,472
VEBLEN: That's swell, come at each other.
GINGER: Help. Help.
528
00:31:16,641 --> 00:31:19,201
VEBLEN: Come on, don't stand there.
Fight back, fellas. Let's go.
529
00:31:19,378 --> 00:31:22,371
- All right.
GINGER: Help. Help.
530
00:31:22,547 --> 00:31:25,142
[VEBLEN TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
531
00:31:25,317 --> 00:31:27,047
[SOLO SCREAMS]
532
00:31:27,919 --> 00:31:30,150
VEBLEN: Too many people
in this shot. I need less people.
533
00:31:30,322 --> 00:31:31,415
Oh, better, better.
534
00:31:31,590 --> 00:31:34,560
VEBLEN: Get out! Fight, fight. Very good.
GINGER: Help. Help. Help.
535
00:31:34,726 --> 00:31:36,251
Get out of the way, you. Come on now.
536
00:31:36,428 --> 00:31:37,657
- Looks phony. Come on.
- Help.
537
00:31:37,829 --> 00:31:39,388
VEBLEN:
You, come on, gasp.
538
00:31:39,564 --> 00:31:41,226
You, shut up, my dear.
539
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,767
Gasp. Hit him. Come on, gasp.
540
00:31:45,704 --> 00:31:48,674
Very good. Beautiful. Brilliant.
541
00:31:59,951 --> 00:32:05,356
- How did I do, Mr. Veblen?
- My dear, you were unbelievable.
542
00:32:22,574 --> 00:32:24,270
[GUNFIRE]
543
00:32:43,662 --> 00:32:44,960
[MAN GRUNTS]
544
00:32:54,940 --> 00:32:56,932
[GRUNTING]
545
00:32:59,544 --> 00:33:01,274
[CACKLING]
546
00:33:05,083 --> 00:33:07,985
You boys ain't so hot
outside your own territory, are you?
547
00:33:08,420 --> 00:33:10,082
ILLYA:
You're making a big mistake.
548
00:33:10,255 --> 00:33:13,851
Well, did you hear that, boys?
The man says he's a mistake. Heh.
549
00:33:14,025 --> 00:33:17,723
We can't have a mistake walking around.
That would embarrass us.
550
00:33:17,896 --> 00:33:19,888
Put the mistake in the tub.
551
00:33:40,418 --> 00:33:41,886
And you're a mistake too, buster.
552
00:33:42,053 --> 00:33:45,421
But you don't get erased until the boss
has a chance to ask you a few questions.
553
00:33:45,590 --> 00:33:47,957
[ANGELO LAUGHING]
554
00:33:53,598 --> 00:33:55,499
SCIENTIST:
Mr. Cariago.
555
00:33:55,667 --> 00:33:57,465
Well, genius, is it ready?
556
00:33:57,636 --> 00:33:59,332
Almost.
557
00:34:03,542 --> 00:34:05,135
Now....
558
00:34:09,614 --> 00:34:10,604
Ugh....
559
00:34:10,782 --> 00:34:13,877
Mr. Cariago, you can't just
whip up an atomic bomb...
560
00:34:14,052 --> 00:34:15,486
...like a hot-fudge sundae.
561
00:34:15,654 --> 00:34:16,815
It's a long process.
562
00:34:16,988 --> 00:34:19,082
It took Mao Tse-tung six years.
563
00:34:19,257 --> 00:34:23,126
I'm looking into an open grave,
and you give me excuses out of Pearl Buck.
564
00:34:23,295 --> 00:34:25,924
Now, I want a bomb,
and I want it right now.
565
00:34:26,097 --> 00:34:28,896
Mr. Cariago,
how about a conventional bomb?
566
00:34:29,067 --> 00:34:31,434
Now, come over here. Come over here.
567
00:34:31,603 --> 00:34:32,593
Now, I can--
568
00:34:32,771 --> 00:34:35,707
I can mix up
a high-explosive formula that--
569
00:34:35,874 --> 00:34:37,866
If I want firecrackers,
I know where to get them.
570
00:34:38,043 --> 00:34:39,568
From you I want the atomic bomb.
571
00:34:39,744 --> 00:34:41,007
But these are blockbusters.
572
00:34:41,179 --> 00:34:43,739
Do you know what 10 of these
will do to Las Vegas?
573
00:34:43,915 --> 00:34:47,716
Do you know what Uncle Giuliano is gonna
do to me if I don't get him the real thing?
574
00:34:47,886 --> 00:34:49,411
I haven't decided yet.
575
00:34:49,588 --> 00:34:52,217
But I'm playing around
with some very interesting ideas.
576
00:34:52,390 --> 00:34:54,791
CARIAGO:
Uncle Giuliano. Ha, ha.
577
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,553
I thought you were still in Sicily.
578
00:34:56,728 --> 00:34:58,219
I should be in Sicily playing bocce...
579
00:34:58,396 --> 00:35:00,524
...while you're here botching up
this whole operation.
580
00:35:00,699 --> 00:35:04,158
Oh, no, I may look old,
but I'm not senile.
581
00:35:04,336 --> 00:35:06,396
I knew you'd bumble up the job.
582
00:35:06,571 --> 00:35:09,370
I didn't bumble anything.
I still got a couple of days to go.
583
00:35:09,541 --> 00:35:11,703
You'd bumble it
even if you had two more years.
584
00:35:11,876 --> 00:35:14,209
All right, boys, bring it in.
585
00:35:29,327 --> 00:35:30,818
Uncle Giuliano....
586
00:35:30,996 --> 00:35:32,055
[CARIAGO LAUGHING]
587
00:35:33,832 --> 00:35:35,027
Is this the real thing, uncle?
588
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:38,329
You think I'd fly all the way from Sicily
with a crate full of linguini?
589
00:35:39,704 --> 00:35:41,730
You said you'd be right out,
Frank, honey.
590
00:35:41,906 --> 00:35:43,704
I've been sitting in that car waiting.
591
00:35:43,875 --> 00:35:46,640
I've gotta get home.
I've gotta study my lines for tomorrow.
592
00:35:46,811 --> 00:35:48,837
[GASPS]
593
00:35:49,014 --> 00:35:50,676
Is this thing for real?
594
00:35:51,049 --> 00:35:53,575
Why, you bet your life it's the real thing,
a real A-bomb.
595
00:35:54,552 --> 00:35:56,783
And we're gonna drop it
right on Las Vegas tonight.
596
00:35:56,955 --> 00:35:59,322
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
597
00:36:00,659 --> 00:36:02,753
You got a big mouth, and it's regrettable.
598
00:36:03,928 --> 00:36:05,021
Yeah.
599
00:36:07,732 --> 00:36:10,634
Uh, I think I'll go and practice
my dialogue for a while.
600
00:36:10,802 --> 00:36:13,033
I suggest you get this girl a room
to practice.
601
00:36:13,204 --> 00:36:14,604
One with a lock on it.
602
00:36:16,041 --> 00:36:17,304
GINGER:
But, Frankie--
603
00:36:18,610 --> 00:36:19,669
You can practice in here.
604
00:36:19,844 --> 00:36:22,177
But, Frankie, that's a closet.
605
00:36:22,347 --> 00:36:24,942
What's the matter,
you need Carnegie Hall to practice?
606
00:36:25,116 --> 00:36:26,550
[GINGER CRIES]
607
00:36:28,553 --> 00:36:30,749
Let me out.
608
00:36:31,322 --> 00:36:33,553
Let me out.
609
00:37:02,253 --> 00:37:04,950
Testing, one, two, three.
610
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:18,531
Testing, one, two, three.
611
00:37:19,204 --> 00:37:22,572
ILLYA [MUFFLED]: Will you stop
clowning about and get me out of here?
612
00:37:22,741 --> 00:37:25,233
I'm glad to see you're still with us.
613
00:37:25,410 --> 00:37:29,245
I see you got to the bottom of things
with your usual alacrity.
614
00:37:30,749 --> 00:37:32,741
[HORNS HONKING]
615
00:37:33,618 --> 00:37:34,608
[RADIO BEEPS]
616
00:37:34,786 --> 00:37:37,517
I haven't heard from you for some time,
Mr. Kuryakin.
617
00:37:37,689 --> 00:37:39,282
I trust everything is well.
618
00:37:39,457 --> 00:37:41,449
[OVER RADIO]
Have you been able to ascertain yet...
619
00:37:41,626 --> 00:37:43,060
...what Mr. Cariago is up to?
620
00:37:43,228 --> 00:37:46,130
Uh, no, sir, we don't know
what his plan of operation is yet...
621
00:37:46,297 --> 00:37:48,664
...but we know it has something to do
with Las Vegas.
622
00:37:48,833 --> 00:37:51,928
Our other sources have already
ascertained that, Mr. Kuryakin.
623
00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:54,338
I'm in Las Vegas right now.
624
00:37:54,706 --> 00:37:57,801
We also know that the head
of the syndicate has left Sicily...
625
00:37:57,976 --> 00:38:00,343
...and is probably somewhere
in this country.
626
00:38:00,512 --> 00:38:02,140
ILLYA:
Well, he hasn't--
627
00:38:02,313 --> 00:38:04,976
Will you please be careful
with that thing?
628
00:38:05,583 --> 00:38:07,415
He hasn't shown up here yet.
629
00:38:07,585 --> 00:38:10,680
WAVERLY: Report to me
as soon as you turn up something.
630
00:38:14,292 --> 00:38:16,693
It's a good thing
you didn't become a surgeon.
631
00:38:24,536 --> 00:38:27,028
[GRUNTING]
632
00:38:27,205 --> 00:38:28,673
Frankie?
633
00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:32,777
Frankie, I'm done practicing, Frankie.
634
00:38:39,551 --> 00:38:41,315
CARIAGO:
Slow down.
635
00:38:41,486 --> 00:38:45,480
Go over a bump, and they'll
be picking up our pieces in Chicago.
636
00:39:09,948 --> 00:39:12,281
VEBLEN:
Hey, what's going on here, Cariago?
637
00:39:12,450 --> 00:39:15,648
This should have been loaded already.
We haven't got all night, you know.
638
00:39:15,820 --> 00:39:17,448
The bomb. It's bigger than we figured.
639
00:39:17,622 --> 00:39:20,592
Ah, nonsense, the thing's been weighed
and measured a dozen times.
640
00:39:20,758 --> 00:39:23,125
It should fit perfectly.
Come on, boys, let's get it aboard.
641
00:39:23,294 --> 00:39:24,557
Hold it!
642
00:39:24,729 --> 00:39:26,322
For crying out loud.
643
00:39:26,497 --> 00:39:29,695
What's the matter with you, fellas?
I mean, it's only a prop, for goodness' sake.
644
00:39:29,868 --> 00:39:30,995
It's a--
645
00:39:31,169 --> 00:39:35,197
Wait a minute,
this isn't the bomb I ordered. Cariago!
646
00:39:35,573 --> 00:39:38,042
Now, what's the matter
with you, Cariago?
647
00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:40,610
Come on now,
who's running this show here?
648
00:39:40,778 --> 00:39:42,076
Okay.
649
00:39:43,114 --> 00:39:44,742
Please, please, Sheldon.
650
00:39:44,916 --> 00:39:47,283
Yeah, but I thought this was--
651
00:39:54,926 --> 00:39:56,758
This....
652
00:39:56,928 --> 00:39:58,419
This isn't a dummy, is it?
653
00:39:59,230 --> 00:40:04,396
This is a real, uh, bomb.
654
00:40:05,203 --> 00:40:07,104
Not only a bomb, it's an atomic--
655
00:40:07,272 --> 00:40:08,740
GIULIANO:
Cariago, shut up.
656
00:40:08,907 --> 00:40:12,309
If the bomb bay was as big as your mouth,
we could get three bombs in it.
657
00:40:17,649 --> 00:40:21,279
Relax, Mr. Veblen,
your fade-out comes later.
658
00:40:21,452 --> 00:40:24,616
But meanwhile,
we can have a little chat, hmm?
659
00:40:24,789 --> 00:40:28,817
Tell me, uh, have you seen
any good movies lately?
660
00:40:38,569 --> 00:40:40,333
Oh, oh!
661
00:40:45,043 --> 00:40:47,774
Oh, thank goodness I found you.
We've got to stop them.
662
00:40:47,946 --> 00:40:49,710
They're going to use a bomb.
A real bomb.
663
00:40:49,881 --> 00:40:50,871
ILLYA:
A bomb? Where?
664
00:40:51,049 --> 00:40:52,244
At the airport right now.
665
00:40:52,417 --> 00:40:53,908
It's Mr. Veblen's big scene.
666
00:40:54,085 --> 00:40:56,281
You know, the last scene
you couldn't find in my script?
667
00:40:56,454 --> 00:40:58,582
They're going to drop a real bomb
on Las Vegas.
668
00:40:58,756 --> 00:41:00,224
Let's go!
669
00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:51,571
ILLYA:
Pull over by the ladder.
670
00:41:51,743 --> 00:41:54,406
This side, and hold it steady.
671
00:42:37,422 --> 00:42:39,152
[MOUTHS]
Bye.
672
00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:03,381
Oh, Mr. Veblen, are you all right?
673
00:43:03,548 --> 00:43:06,416
Huh? Oh, never-- Never mind me.
674
00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:08,450
Come on, there's no time to lose.
675
00:43:08,619 --> 00:43:10,417
I hope we can get the police in time.
676
00:43:10,588 --> 00:43:12,716
VEBLEN:
Police? Are you out of your mind?
677
00:43:12,890 --> 00:43:14,882
I guess you're right,
we better call the Air Force.
678
00:43:15,059 --> 00:43:16,584
Nobody's calling anybody.
679
00:43:16,761 --> 00:43:18,354
I'm gonna get myself a plane.
680
00:43:18,529 --> 00:43:21,226
And I'm gonna shoot the greatest scene
of my entire career.
681
00:43:21,399 --> 00:43:24,995
The entire city of Las Vegas
going up in a cloud of smoke.
682
00:43:25,169 --> 00:43:27,400
Follow that bomber.
683
00:44:04,542 --> 00:44:07,307
[CHATTERING]
684
00:44:34,539 --> 00:44:37,509
Honey, would you play this machine
just once?
685
00:44:38,276 --> 00:44:39,335
Who, me?
686
00:44:39,977 --> 00:44:42,640
Yeah, somebody must have put
a hex on it.
687
00:44:42,813 --> 00:44:45,510
Well, why not switch
to another machine?
688
00:44:45,917 --> 00:44:47,715
This is my machine.
689
00:44:47,885 --> 00:44:52,653
I've been playing it 12 years,
and I ain't about to change now.
690
00:44:52,823 --> 00:44:54,724
Are you gonna help me or not?
691
00:44:54,892 --> 00:44:57,327
Yes, I will, with pleasure, madam.
692
00:45:11,242 --> 00:45:13,370
[GRUNTING]
693
00:45:34,966 --> 00:45:36,662
[SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
694
00:45:52,183 --> 00:45:54,482
VEBLEN:
Oh, great, great.
695
00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:05,692
Better hope that bomb doesn't go off
at this altitude, because we'll go up with it.
696
00:46:05,863 --> 00:46:08,094
I'm not as stupid as Cariago.
697
00:46:08,266 --> 00:46:11,998
To make Las Vegas unappetizing
doesn't require an atom bomb.
698
00:46:12,169 --> 00:46:16,630
The one we just dropped contains 10 ton
of dimethyl chloryl fluoride.
699
00:46:17,642 --> 00:46:18,632
And what is that?
700
00:46:18,809 --> 00:46:20,437
[GIULIANO LAUGHING]
701
00:46:21,078 --> 00:46:22,307
Essence of skunk.
702
00:46:25,149 --> 00:46:27,618
It's a 10-ton stink bomb.
703
00:46:38,462 --> 00:46:40,522
VEBLEN:
Oh, what a scene. I'm a genius.
704
00:46:57,782 --> 00:47:00,217
[GAS HISSING]
705
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:04,079
Oh, that's beautiful.
706
00:47:07,491 --> 00:47:09,983
Ha. Beautiful, beautiful.
707
00:47:42,059 --> 00:47:43,391
Whoopee.
708
00:47:43,961 --> 00:47:44,985
[BELL RINGING]
709
00:47:45,162 --> 00:47:48,894
Whoopee. That's what I'd call a jackpot!
710
00:48:00,010 --> 00:48:01,205
[CHATTERING]
711
00:48:01,379 --> 00:48:03,712
VEBLEN:
Hello. There you go.
712
00:48:03,881 --> 00:48:06,407
SOLO: Looks like you have a smash
on your hands, Mr. Veblen.
713
00:48:06,584 --> 00:48:10,077
The philistines don't win all the battles,
Mr. Solo.
714
00:48:10,254 --> 00:48:12,485
I just wish those terrible gangsters
could see it.
715
00:48:12,656 --> 00:48:16,354
It would show them what a real artist
can do even when the odds are against him.
716
00:48:16,527 --> 00:48:20,760
No, my dear, it would show them
what a real actress can do.
717
00:48:20,931 --> 00:48:24,459
Perhaps the Sicilian prison authorities
will arrange to have it shown for them.
718
00:48:24,635 --> 00:48:26,399
Uh, where's your friend, uh, Mr. Solo?
719
00:48:26,570 --> 00:48:30,268
Well, you know, the one with the hair
and the green spots, uh....
720
00:48:30,441 --> 00:48:31,841
A passable actor, you know.
721
00:48:32,009 --> 00:48:34,706
With the right director,
he could make, uh, quite a talent.
722
00:48:34,879 --> 00:48:35,869
SOLO:
Really?
723
00:48:36,046 --> 00:48:39,107
As a matter of fact, he wanted to come,
but he had other matters on his hands.
724
00:48:39,283 --> 00:48:40,808
Uh, that reminds me, excuse me.
725
00:48:45,990 --> 00:48:48,585
Open Channel D.
726
00:48:49,093 --> 00:48:50,925
Come in, Little Flower,
how are you doing?
727
00:48:51,095 --> 00:48:54,725
The lab says that with any luck,
I'll be out of here within a week...
728
00:48:54,899 --> 00:48:57,664
...smelling like a rose.
729
00:50:00,130 --> 00:50:02,122
[ENGLISH SDH]
56186
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