All language subtitles for Dead.Hot.S01E02

- It's okay.
- Will's gone.

And his finger was in there.

It's happening again.

- Detective.
- Hi, Officer.

You know what's in there, right?

- The thing?
- Yeah, I know.

I think it's about time you told me
what the hell is going on here.

So, the guy who lives here,
well, he invited me over, and I showed up,

and I found his finger.

You mean this finger?

Oh, my God.

Why the fuck are you holding it
like that? That's evidence.

- Oh, my fucking...
- What are you doing?

- Get it out of your fucking mouth!
- What are you doing? Stop him!

- He just ate the fucking evidence!
- Stop him!

- Hello!
- Hello!

Fuck. It's not real?

- I don't get it.
- It's cake, you knobheads.

- What? No. But the blood...
- It's from a party shop.

So I'll ask you again.
What the hell is going on here?

No, no, no. I swear, I thought
it was real. Really, I did.

Someone is playing a messed-up prank.

We had something like this happen
to us before, a few years ago.

- But it was a real finger.
- I know all about that.

Peter Ono disappeared
without trace five years ago,

apart from a finger, which was
left in his Liverpool apartment.

Discovered and called in
by his boyfriend, Elliot Byrd.

- That's you, isn't it?
- Yeah.

And here we are, five years later,

and the same Elliot Byrd is calling in
another finger from another boyfriend.

Now, why would that be?

That's literally what I called you for.

Maybe Elliot Byrd wants attention.

- That's not it.
- That's not what's happening here.

Or maybe Elliot Byrd,

who doesn't have an alibi for the day
his boyfriend disappeared...

- No, I was at the beach.
- That's crap.

...knows more about what happened
to Peter Ono than he originally said.

- You can't be serious.
- You know what? Fuck you.

If you know so much
about my brother's case,

you know that Elliot was
totally cleared as a suspect.

I've been with him all night.
He didn't do it.

He is the victim in all of this.

And you are an arse for saying
that it could be something else.

Someone is trying to fuck with him.

Bit of a dramatic way
to fuck with somebody, isn't it?

Come on. Let's go.

I can't believe that scary,
sexy policeman. All this for attention?

Who the fuck would do that?
I mean, who the fuck would do that?

And are the police even
gonna do anything about it?

A cake finger.
We're being fucked with, Jess.

The DNA thing. The cat at Le BarkBark.
That messed-up mask of me.

- Fucking fake fucking...
- Finger!

We need to track down Will.

He's clearly some sicko
who has targeted you.

- What? No, we don't know that.
- We're at his flat.

Elly, he's the one
that told you to come here.

But still, he could be the one in trouble.
We don't know that he did this.

- Then who did?
- I don't know. But maybe it was Peter.

Back for revenge.

- Revenge for what?
- I don't know, 'cause I'm moving on.

- I finally found a guy I connected with.
- Elliot, it's been five years.

You went on one date.

You actually think that is the thing
that would bring my brother out of hiding?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I don't know what the fuck's going on.

I know it's not Peter doing this.

I'm sorry. That was a fucked-up thing
to say. I didn't mean it like that.

I just want him back, okay?

I don't care how.

I know how it looks with Will, but please,
Jess, you've got to listen to me.

I really don't think it's him.
What if he's in trouble too?

Hey, guys. Do you know what
makes me feel better after a hard day?

- A hot bowl of shepherd's pie.
- Fuck off, creep.

- Elliot, I know him.
- Hey, I'm Rigby.

He gave me a lift.
I thought he was a taxi.

It was dark. Rigby, this is private.

- What are you still doing here?
- I thought you might need a lift home.

Thanks. But no.

Okay. Sorry.

Actually, we do kind of
need a lift right now.

- Getting a taxi is hell at this hour.
- His van smells like feet.

I love you, okay?

Whatever the fuck is going on,
we're gonna figure it out together.

Yeah, we have to.

Yeah, we'll go straight to
the shelter the second it opens.

I don't know if that's
actually Peter's cat.

It's probably just, like, a fake cat,
like the fake finger.

- Elliot.
- I know.

- We have to at least try.
- Yeah, of course.

It's not open for six hours.

Nothing to do till then, I guess.

Oh, my God.

Do you know what place
we're near right now?

No, we can't...

Multicoloured toys

And we play with all the boys

We got the sinners
We got the saints

Who are fluid in the brain

We are the world

Let's go, let's go

We're on the same side.
You know that, right?

- Always. You're all I have.
- You're all I have.

- Like, I'm not joking when I say that.
- I'm, like, same.

That thing I said before about Will being
a sicko, that wasn't me being, like,

there's no way a guy
would actually like you...

- Stop.
- ...because you're so fit, Elly.

Stop, okay? You don't have to say that.
I was being an idiot, protecting my ego.

All that, it was stupid of me
to say it was Peter.

Like, how the fuck dare I?

Like, he'd never do anything
like that if he was alive.

But can you imagine if he was, though?

You know what?

As fucked as this all is,

I really feel like we are finally
gonna find out what happened.

We heard nothing for five years,

then three huge things in one day.

And they call it
the Holy Trinity for a reason.

Because when things come in threes,
you're gonna get what you need.

Oh, my God. You are so right.

- Elliot, they are so right.
- Yeah.

Sorry. What's your name?

- Thornley.
- Thornley?

- You're a psychic, right?
- A medium, yeah.

Oh, my God.
Can you give us a reading, please?

- We really need it.
- Yeah. We're so fucking lost right now.

Oh, my God. Yes.

Youse two, you've known
each other a while, haven't you?

Years.

No, beyond that.
I'm talking over multiple lives.

- Oh, my God. I've always felt that.
- I love you!

The first time youse two met

was years before
Jesus Christ himself was born.

- We're BC, babe.
- I knew it.

You were two pieces of algae
on a slab of rock in the Baltic Sea.

Oh, my God. I love that. I love that.

- Like, seriously.
- Now for the individual readings.

I sense a reunion of souls coming for you.

Maybe a friend you haven't seen in years,

or a former lover who
your psyche isn't quite done with.

What about a missing brother?

- Definitely a very real possibility.
- You promise? You're not just saying that?

I would never just say that. Now you.

Buckle up, baby.

Because true, raw, passionate love

is coming your way
in the form of an earth sign.

And I just happen to be a Taurus.

- I can sense you're holding back.
- I'm sorry. It's not you.

It's just, things are, like,
a little bit nuts right now.

I mean, same here.

Okay. But, like, things are,
like, really nuts.

- Done yet? The shelter's about to open.
- Shit.

Bye, I guess.

You've got a gorgeous aura.
I can feel it from all the way over here.

Okay, but have we talked about

how that policeman, like,
definitely had a vibe for you?

I was thinking that.

- You killed him?
- Euthanised.

It's Heavenly Tails, not Earthly Tails.

- Elly, he's gone.
- It's okay.

What's the big deal over this cat?

You're the second person
to ask about him today.

What do you mean?

Well, like I said, another lad came in,
looking for the same cat.

I'm just trying to understand the appeal,
as it's a very ugly animal.

Maybe it's the guy from the CCTV.
What did the guy look like?

Well, you know, tall-ish,
hair was dark, handsome.

- Will.
- Peter?

Let's just find a picture.

Excuse me, sir.
Is it either of these guys?

Yes, that's the sweet lad. I'm sure of it.

- Holy shit. Elly.
- Oh, my God.

My God.

And there again.
Yeah, that's him again. No question.

What?

- What the fuck, dude? Which one?
- Aren't they of the same person?

Are you kidding?
They look totally different.

Don't get snappy with me. I'm still
recovering from laser eye surgery.

I fucking can't.
I'm too hungover and sad for this.

My bladder needs a cry.
I'll meet you outside.

What you doing?

- What is that?
- It's nothing.

What the hell?

"Killer"?
It says "Killer" on our scooters.

It's just some animal freak or something.

Or another person
that was looking for the cat.

What is with all this sketchiness?

I'm not being sketchy.
I'm just protecting...

Don't keep shit from me, Elliot.
I can't handle that right now.

Okay. I'm really sorry.
I just didn't want to stress you out more.

So, what now?

I need to go home and shower
before I keel over and die.

Then I'm gonna go find out
who I matched with on that DNA app.

How?

Their office is in town.
So I'm just gonna stop by before work.

- I thought you said it wasn't Peter.
- I mean...

I have to find out for sure, don't I?

Do you wanna come with me?

No. I need to find a new job.

This is my first non-app-date
in, like, three years.

So, I was on the floor, waiting.

Hello there.

I was wondering if you could
help me with something.

There's a virtual assistant
in the app, you know?

I explored that option already.

You'll see in there
that they were quite unhelpful.

I'm a consumer of your lovely service,

and recently got a match
with an unknown relative

who sent some specific
and ominous messages

leading me to believe
they were my twin brother

who's been missing
for the past five years.

Do you think you could give me,
like, I don't know,

an address or something?

We can't give you any of that information.

You're the 12th "It's my long-lost
brother" that we've had this week.

For all I know, you're a psycho.
You could kill people.

- Or eat them.
- Interesting.

But I don't.

I'm just desperate to find out
who sent those messages.

- Please? If there's anything you can do.
- Not a single thing.

- But that's my brother.
- No.

- He's my twin.
- No.

- Do you have siblings?
- No!

Get the fuck out of here.

Jesus. You don't have to swear.

Hey. Do you have a lighter?

Thanks so much.

- That doesn't smell like a cigarette.
- 'Cause it's not.

Cigarettes are gross.

- Except yours.
- Yeah. What's that then?

This is some CBD and sage thing
a psychic gave me in a club last night.

He said it'd help me manifest stuff.

What are you trying to manifest?

You know...

- Are you staring at my dick?
- No.

I was just...

The first boy I ever kissed
was called Eugene.

Come on, Will.
I know you're here somewhere.

Who are you?

I'm looking for Will.

Is that the pissfuck who drilled a hole in
my ceiling and spilled shit on my floor?

I don't know. Maybe.
Sorry. Who lives here?

Dozens a year. Chinese, the Spanish,
even some Koreans one time.

Lesbians, coeliacs, sex freaks.

But none of them
ever drilled a hole in my ceiling.

Okay. So, Will doesn't live here?
This is, like, a rental?

I don't know his name.
I don't like to know anyone's name.

It makes a person
a bit too real for my taste.

Look, I got a text last night
that my friend was here.

I don't know if he's the one who sent it,
but, basically, he's missing.

Missing, yeah?
On the day that he owes me £2,000, yeah?

I don't think so.
Bit too convenient, if you ask me.

No, no.

How do I know you?

I can hear you breathing through the wall.

Listen, Jess. LawDaddy is our guy.

He definitely left that cat
at Le BarkBark.

He's probably the one who got to Will.

I mean, Will probably didn't even send
that text last night inviting me over.

Somebody got to him,
and that somebody is LawDaddy.

So what do we do?

Knock on every door in the area
till we find LawDaddy?

No. I'm gonna swipe his address
from Le BarkBark.

- You're gonna break in?
- Yeah, I am.

You know, see if there's any leads,
any sign of Will.

It's kind of horny of you, Elliot.

I was kind of hoping
it would be a "we" situation.

- Can you come?
- Of course. I'm not letting you go alone.

Great.

But it might be late.
I've got Bonnie's cake tasting.

Didn't she get engaged,
like, two days ago?

I know, Jess. I know.

The fact that I have to go to that

when all I want to do is find
this LawDaddy fuckhead...

Like, he could have killed Will.
And Peter.

Yeah, maybe.

So, I went to those DNA offices.

Sorry, babe. I think my food's here.

Can you text me about it?

Yeah. Sorry. I'm just coming down. Thanks.

That's fine.
I'll just go fuck myself then.

You're in early. Cute look.

Raphael, are you actually angry at me?

- I'm annoyed, Jessica.
- I'm sorry for leaving early yesterday.

It was personal stuff, like, family stuff.

And what about today?
You're late by, like, 16 whole seconds.

- Raphael, what's this about?
- It's about you being unprofessional.

Then why have I got
the most slays on the board?

- I've been slayed.
- I'm your boss, Jessica, not your friend.

- Okay, Raph.
- I'm serious.

Okay, Raph.

Jessica, are you
seriously texting right now?

I'm ready

Again

And you

I know

That one's too sad.
It's like I'm eating a friend.

Plus, where are his lips?

No.

My Elly boy. Thank God.
Someone who isn't a nightmare.

- Honeysuckle, get him a glass.
- Hi, Grandma.

- Honeysuckle, the white, please.
- White?

I think I'm allergic to red now.

- I keep breaking out in hives.
- Well, that could be stress, Elliot.

- Have you been naughty?
- No. No, no, never.

Okay.

But, you know,
I'll always worry about you.

- Yes, 'cause you're the best grandma.
- Did you hear that, Honeysuckle?

- Isn't he delightful?
- He's remarkable, my lady.

Bonnie, you haven't said
a word to your nephew.

- Word.
- Bonnifred, behave like an adult, please.

Hey, Aunt Bonnie.
Congratulations on the engagement.

See? You're an arsehole,
and he's still nice to you.

- He's faking it, Mum.
- For Christ's sake, you're 45.

Hey.

So, tell me about what you do.
You're at that DNA company, right?

I built the site.

Wow. So, you probably have access
to all the accounts on there.

That must be crazy, being able
to see a bunch of people's DNA

and billing addresses and stuff like that.

Sorry. Do you mind
if we don't talk about work?

Yeah. Sure. Of course.

Do you want to do a shot?

This is so lovely,
but I really do need to get going.

But it's your aunt's cake tasting, Elliot.

- You can't leave.
- Yes, he can.

- Bonnie wanted to ask you about something.
- No, actually, I didn't.

Bonnie wants you to be
McCoughley's best man.

No, Grandma, she doesn't.

Fine. I want you to be
McCoughley's best man.

Why, Grandma?

Because this whole ordeal
is so embarrassing.

McCoughley Hamburgerson is up to no good.

There is no way that
a handsome underwear model

would be interested in your aunt.

The very best case
is he's using her for money.

The worst is that he's a pervert
attempting to traffic her.

No. You think?

Poor Bonnie.

Your naivete is a gift, Elliot.
Never lose it.

But don't let it cross over into delusion.

I want you to keep a close eye
on this Hamburger.

He's supposed to be arriving
in Liverpool on Saturday.

- That's really soon.
- Well, the wedding's on Saturday.

- Saturday?
- Yes, this Saturday.

That's why I'm paying
for all this ho-ho, hum-hum.

It's to force McCoughley's hand
into showing his cards,

so your sad aunt
can continue with her sad life.

Do you know what he told her?

He doesn't believe in speaking
out loud to each other before marriage.

Your aunt has fallen in love
with a picture on the Internet.

But, Grandma, I have this thing on...

- I'll be there. Of course.
- I love you, Elliot.

I'm so proud of the man I've raised.
I wish your mother could see you.

And I know all this talk about marriage

must be very upsetting for you
when you have no one.

I'm all right, Grandma.

So, I told Hamatha that you would
take her granddaughter out,

who's just moved back to town.

- No, Grandma.
- But she's a beautiful girl, Elliot.

She's a model of high-end brands,
expensive brands.

It would be good for you. And she
could be your date for the wedding.

And everyone could see how handsome
you were with a girl on your arm.

I'll pay for it, of course.

Sounds good, Grandma.

Wonderful.

Here's to us.

- Two or three?
- I've work tomorrow.

And I

I must confess I still believe

Still believe

Sexy, beautiful but far too deep

For sympathetic eyes

Young and beautiful and fast asleep

Jess, where the fuck are you?

I'm leaving you a voicemail.
That's how serious this is.

Shit.

Elliot Byrd, what do you
think you're doing here?

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
It's so good to see you.

I was just picking up my stuff.
That should be all.

That's my paperweight, Elliot.
I got it in Arizona.

Right. Okay. Yeah.
No, you're right. Mine's at home.

Well, it's been great, Janelle, really.
Thank you for the opportunity.

I'm just really sorry it didn't work out.
But I will see you at the wedding.

Elliot.

Why did you break into
my office last night?

I had too much to drink. Sorry.

I know you were looking
at the CCTV footage.

So I'll ask you again.

Why did you break into
my office last night?

- To look at the CCTV footage.
- I know that, you pillock!

What did you see on those tapes, Elliot?

You mean, did I see
the truck full of animals

getting shipped off to the slaughterhouse?

Heavenly Tails is
a reputable organisation.

Is that so?

Well, how do you think Liverpool
is gonna react when it's leaked that

Janelle Brocklehurst,
beloved humanitarian socialite,

sends her abandoned pets
to the kill shelter?

Probably similarly
to how your grandmother will react

if she learns you've been fired.

- So, we have an understanding.
- I believe we do.

Sorry. Just to clarify
the understanding...

I stay quiet and I'm not fired any more,

or I stay quiet and you won't
tell my grandmother that I'm fired?

- The latter.
- Okay.

Elliot.

Whatever else you saw on those tapes,

if you tell a soul,
I promise to ruin your life.

Yeah, got it.

Shut up.

I want to be honest with you.

This was before I found out
how cool you were, okay?

- So, don't be upset.
- Go on.

I only flirted with you
because I wanted you

to get me info on an All X & Y profile
that I matched with.

I knew it was something.
But you're hot. So, it was...

- Whatever.
- Eugene.

I'm sorry for being fake,

because now I actually kind of like you.

Actually kind of like me?

I really needed tonight.

Thank you.

Jess, are you okay?

Hey. What is it? What's wrong?

It's just...

It's my brother... Well, my twin.

I'm trying to find him.

He just completely disappeared,
like, off the face of the earth.

And I have no idea
how I'm ever supposed to just, like,

feel okay ever again.

- How could you?
- With Elliot.

That's my brother's boyfriend
who's also my best friend.

I feel like I am always
taking care of his pain,

and tending to his grief.

It's just, like,

why can't someone do that for me?

Oh, my God.

I'm crying on a first date.
I'm sorry for crying on a first date.

- Don't be.
- I am so overwhelmed with everything.

It's super triggering to that time...

The DNA match you came to
All X & Y to get info on...

You think it's him? Your missing brother?

- I know it sounds crazy.
- Hey, stop that.

If me giving you details on your DNA match
can even help you a little, I'll do it.

- Really?
- Of course.

Hello.
I'm the dog walker for apartment 201.

I don't know if Timothy put me down,
but he said... Okay, great.

Thank you so much. I'll be right down.

Okay.

User 32894's credit card
is registered to a blocked company.

What does any of that mean?

Just that we don't have a name.
But we do have a billing address.

Amazing.

- That's in the middle of nowhere.
- I could take you.

Actually, I'm drunk. I can't take you.
But I'll come with. Seriously.

I do know someone who could drive us.

What do I do when I get there?

Take it one step at a time.
You just gotta knock.

What if it's not him?

Then you'll have peace of mind.

I really want it to be him.

Jessica, can I get you
a water or anything?

Bag dog. Bad dog.

Fuck you. Fuck you.

Stain remover.

Fuck! Piss off!

I love your nails.

Thanks. The colour's called blood sex.

- You're sure this is the right spot?
- That's the address you gave me.

It should just be
a quarter of a mile up this road.

We're in the woods.

Is that a witch's cottage?

I mean, it's a cottage.

This is the place.

You sure you want to go alone?

I hope it's him.

You've pissed everywhere.

Fuck!

Come back here. Who are you?

No! No! No!

You're dead!

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Get off me! Get off me! Get off me!

What the fuck are you doing in my home?

Get off me! Get off me!

I said, what the fuck
are you doing in my...

- Pease don't hurt me.
- What the fuck are you doing in my home?

I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

Hang on.

- Please don't hurt me.
- I know who you are.

Who?

Who am I? Who?