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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:03,520 [pleasant jingle] 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:08,760 [brassy music] 4 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 5 00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,680 ♪ Look oh wonder 6 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,960 ♪ Spell I'm under 7 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:18,320 ♪ Cus of the chill in the air 8 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:23,080 ♪ Snow is falling and folks are calling to bring in ♪ 9 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,680 ♪ Some Christmas cheer 10 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,360 ♪ What a feeling 11 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:30,680 [Man] Thank you. 12 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,040 Merry Christmas. 13 00:00:32,160 --> 00:00:33,960 Isn't it just? 14 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,200 I've come to collect this, my wife reserved it online, 15 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:37,960 Sparkle Hoof, the unicorn princess. 16 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:38,760 [scanner beeps] 17 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,480 That's 64.99. 18 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:41,720 Pardon me? 19 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,560 No, I think it's supposed to be 40-something? 20 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,560 It was 44.99 when she reserved it, 21 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,240 but she didn't pay for it then so now it's 64.99. 22 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,160 64.99! 23 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:52,600 Sorry, is it an actual unicorn? 24 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,400 If you pat its head, it blinks. 25 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:56,680 If you touch its nose, it trots. 26 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:57,840 I don't care if you scratch its ass 27 00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:58,640 and it unloads the dishwasher! 28 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:00,040 This is a shake down! 29 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,320 Now I'll pay you the original 40-odd quid, 30 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:03,600 which is outrageous! 31 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:04,600 But I'm not paying a penny more. 32 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:05,760 That's fair enough. 33 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,320 Sorry Sir, it's 64.99. 34 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,600 [scoffing] 35 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,800 What kind of operation are you running here! 36 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:13,360 It's worse than the mob! 37 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,480 Is anyone hearing this? 38 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,120 They're hiking the prices up cus it's Christmas! 39 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:17,920 Jokers! 40 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:19,080 They are jokers! 41 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,160 Now you can't just put up a bit of tinsel 42 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:22,680 and play some Jona Lewie and expect us to just 43 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,320 hand over the squiller! 44 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:25,240 Yeah spread that! 45 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,080 -You tell em big man! -I am telling em! 46 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,920 I'm sorry Sir, it's 64.99, 47 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:29,840 it's the number one toy this year. 48 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:30,960 Do you not watch The One Show? 49 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,040 Not religiously, no! 50 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,720 That Baker, bad boy presenter. 51 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,000 I'm sure he is, but I'm not. 52 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:36,200 Did you want the Sparkle Hoof? 53 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:37,200 No! 54 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:38,000 No I don't! 55 00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:38,800 No he don't! 56 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,000 Not at those prices, no! 57 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:42,440 I'm gonna take my custom elsewhere. 58 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,440 Alright you're not the only show in town. 59 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:46,800 I'll let the invisible hand of the market deal with ya. 60 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:47,800 I don't know what that means. 61 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,560 No, three words, Toys R Us. 62 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,600 [thoughtful music] 63 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,880 Can I take that Sparkle Hoof? 64 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:01,120 [customers clamoring] 65 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:45,240 ["Jingle Bells" playing] 66 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,080 Ho ho ho! 67 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,760 -Merry Christmas! -[laughing] 68 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:56,040 Tada! 69 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,800 [laughing] 70 00:02:57,920 --> 00:02:58,920 Dev, you've appeared to have put lights 71 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,400 all over my house, without asking. 72 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:02,480 You're welcome, Andy! 73 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,480 It's Andrew. 74 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,520 I know we've been talking about it all year, 75 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:05,680 since you moved in really, yeah. 76 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,360 Well you've been talking about it mainly. 77 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:08,520 I could see you weren't gonna get round to it yourself 78 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:10,640 and I thought at this rate, Christmas'll be over, 79 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:13,240 and you won't have em up! [laughing] 80 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,320 Oh it so very nearly worked out that way, didn't it? 81 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:16,160 Yeah! 82 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:17,320 And I know you're a busy guy, 83 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:18,880 that's why we haven't gone for that drink yet but. 84 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,680 -[car honking] -Hey! 85 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,920 [laughing] I could get used to that! 86 00:03:23,040 --> 00:03:24,040 That'll be happening all Christmas! 87 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,320 Ah that's good news. 88 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,800 -Well see ya later. -[splashing] 89 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:30,440 Hey Andy look, Santa's doing a piddle! 90 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,280 I noticed, yeah. 91 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,800 -Ho ho ho! -[toilet flushing] 92 00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:35,200 [laughing] 93 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,160 No Mum honestly the turkey's huge, 94 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:40,080 you do not need to bring a ham. 95 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,280 No, don't bring wafer thin ham either, 96 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:45,120 it's not the thickness of the ham that I'm objecting to. 97 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:46,640 Have you seen what him next door's been up to! 98 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,400 Daddy! 99 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:48,400 Emily! 100 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:49,200 Oh look at that my darling! 101 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:50,520 That's wonderful! 102 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,480 What else, Sweetheart? 103 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,360 Have you seen these lights? 104 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:54,680 Okay Mum, if it makes you feel better, 105 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,520 bring cocktail sausages, but one punit! 106 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:58,920 He said that you wanted them up. 107 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,320 Does that sound like something I'd ever say! 108 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,040 Oh hello mate, I know we've barely spoken, 109 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:03,840 but I don't suppose you've got a giant urinating Santa 110 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:04,920 you could hang above my front door have ya? 111 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:06,320 It's just not Christmas without one! 112 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,080 Sorry Mum, Andrew's going off on one. 113 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,480 Andrew I've got a million things to do. 114 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,640 It's not me you need to talk to about the lights, is it? 115 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,200 [car honking] 116 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:16,200 I'll tell ya what you can bring Mum, 117 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:17,520 a couple bottles of gin. 118 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:21,000 ["Deck the Halls" playing] 119 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:26,320 Dev? 120 00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,120 What mate? 121 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,240 Quick word, 122 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:29,480 re: the lights. 123 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,360 You really shouldn't have put them up. 124 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,240 Don't mention it, alright? 125 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,720 For neighbors like you, people of your caliber? 126 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:38,160 You and Claire, it's an honor. 127 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,640 I should be thanking you if anything, come here. 128 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:41,800 [groaning] 129 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:42,960 Thank you. 130 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,840 Ah that's intimate. 131 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,160 But I'm telling you, you really shouldn't have. 132 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,880 And I'm telling you, it's no bother Andy! 133 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,200 -Andrew, still Andrew. -[car honking] 134 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:52,680 Oh hey! 135 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:53,480 Another one! [laughing] 136 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,760 Yeah! 137 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:56,600 That's the 12th in the last 10 minutes idn't it? 138 00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:58,200 Yeah! [laughing] 139 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,120 [thoughtful music] 140 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:07,600 ["Jingle Bells" playing] 141 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:14,400 [car honking] 142 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:17,640 -[splashing] -Ho ho ho! 143 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:19,560 [flushing] 144 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,800 [grunting] 145 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:22,800 [sighing] 146 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,320 [Claire] What's up? 147 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:25,480 I can't sleep. 148 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:26,480 Why not? 149 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,000 Why not! 150 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,480 Cus it's two in the morning and the bloody lights are on! 151 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,280 It's like being in a Turkish brothel! 152 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,040 I imagine. 153 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,640 [car honking] 154 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,520 [thoughtful music] 155 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,400 Andrew, what you doin'? 156 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,200 I have turned to my superpower, Claire. 157 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:50,400 The strongly worded letter. 158 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:51,400 Oh god. 159 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:52,640 You wanna hear it? 160 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:54,440 Dev, we are not friends. 161 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,160 You are just the bloke who lives next door, 162 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:58,480 and sir you're a Vulgarian. 163 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,520 I cannot stop you covering your own home 164 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,200 in garish lights and incontinent Santas, 165 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,560 but you ain't doin' it to mine! 166 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:06,360 Furthermore-- 167 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:07,560 Yeah, I get the gist. 168 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,840 Reminds me of your infamous bin collections letter. 169 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,320 Hey, that one got the job done. 170 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,080 It made Councilor Hargraves cry. 171 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,280 He was already emotional cus his wife had just died! 172 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,280 You're not putting this through our neighbor's door. 173 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:22,040 At a civilized hour, go and talk to him like a mature adult. 174 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:23,880 Fine. 175 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,520 [thoughtful music] 176 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:27,000 Ho ho ho! 177 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,360 Merry Christmas! 178 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,000 Are you pulling my chain! 179 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,520 What they just gotta go off, have they? 180 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:43,040 Well who complained! 181 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,640 Yeah, hiding behind anonymity. 182 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:47,960 Council. 183 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:51,400 Right, no well the word I'd use is magical. 184 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,440 What did they say? 185 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:54,720 Vomit inducing! 186 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:57,080 Pathetic little weasel! 187 00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,920 And what if I say we're not gonna do it, eh? 188 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,520 What about that, what if I told you, 189 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:03,320 you can, you can stick it where the sun don't shine! 190 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:04,920 Custodial sentence? 191 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:09,440 Yeah, alright well have a good Christmas, Heir Hitler! 192 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:10,520 Lights have to go off mate. 193 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:11,360 What, someone complained? 194 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:12,880 Yeah, yeah. 195 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,320 What kind of soulless monster 196 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:15,560 would have a problem with these? 197 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,440 Oh don't get me started! 198 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,400 I'm sick to the stomach! 199 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:20,920 Well I tell you what mate, you gave em hell. 200 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:22,640 -Didn't I! Didn't I! -Yeah! Yeah! 201 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:23,600 You should've heard me in there, 202 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,160 I was tearin' em a new one! 203 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:29,320 Effing and jeffing like blinking Gordon Ramsey 204 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,840 if he's just had a particularly disappointing souffle! 205 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:33,000 But the lights do have to come off. 206 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,480 [groaning] 207 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:35,560 And permanently. 208 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:36,760 -Got it, mate. -[inflatable wheezing] 209 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:37,960 [groaning] 210 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:39,640 No I know, it's sickening' it's sickenin'. 211 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,920 I'm gutted, absolutely gutted. 212 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,600 But you know they can, they can deflate our Santas 213 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,200 but they can't deflate what's in there. 214 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:49,200 What? 215 00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:50,680 Christmas. 216 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,280 Andrew, what's this? 217 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,160 Ah, you've spotted it, yes! 218 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,920 That is a rather high end chemistry set for Emily. 219 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,000 Yeah but I reserved a Sparkle Hoof online. 220 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:01,200 Oh Sparkle Hoof, yeah that's the big seller this year. 221 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:02,400 I saw it on The One Show. 222 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:03,400 Did ya? 223 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:04,680 Well what The One Show doesn't tell you, 224 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:05,960 is that when you see it up close, 225 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,360 it's really just a lot of plastic made in Taiwan rubbish. 226 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,840 So I thought no that is not what my little baby's gonna get. 227 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,200 Yeah but that's what she wants! 228 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:13,680 She's been talking about it all year! 229 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,200 All you had to do was collect it! 230 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,520 Yeah why didn't you collect it? 231 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,240 Yeah well ha, but I got to the checkout 232 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:19,520 and they just hiked the price! 233 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:20,520 Just like that cus it's Christmas! 234 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:21,600 Unbelievable! 235 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,320 Andrew, it was the first thing on her list! 236 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,040 Ugh, it was the first thing on her list? 237 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:26,520 You don't get everything on your list do you, 238 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,080 that's well known? 239 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,200 It's not a list of demands like a ransom note! 240 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,480 The list is there for us to just cast an eye over, 241 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,960 thanks very much for your suggestions, 242 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,400 we'll take it from here Sweetheart. 243 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,440 Alright I never got everything I wanted when I was a kid 244 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:38,720 and it made me the man I am today! 245 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:39,880 Well, I won't argue with that. 246 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,680 Thank you. 247 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,440 Wait, was that barbed? 248 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:45,520 [door latches] 249 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,160 Sold out, of course. 250 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,520 Right, well thanks for your help anyway. 251 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,760 Honestly I don't think there's a problem. 252 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:02,960 I think we just get behind the chemistry set. 253 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:04,720 You know it's got actual magnesium? 254 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,760 Oh actual magnesium? 255 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:11,360 We'll put it with a Brief History of Time coloring book! 256 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,520 [doorbell rings] 257 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:15,680 I'll get it! 258 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,560 You shall go to the ball, Cinders! 259 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:21,320 Now is not a great time, Dev. 260 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:23,560 [laughing] 261 00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:24,560 Do come in. 262 00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:25,880 Here he is, the man with a plan! 263 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,000 Brown Santa here to the rescue! 264 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:30,600 Are you perchance still in the market for a Sparkle Hoof? 265 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,120 Cus I found one online. 266 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,960 Oh thanks Dev, but it's Christmas Eve, 267 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,160 it'll never get here in time. 268 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:36,400 Click and collect! 269 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:37,200 You just have to go and pick it up mate! 270 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:38,440 Oh my god that's amazing! 271 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:40,040 -Thank you! -Yeah, that's great. 272 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,880 Yeah I mean I was online for ages right, 273 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,720 and I was just like okay Dev, we can do this. 274 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,480 I was like kinda you know that Minority Report film? 275 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:46,400 -Yeah. -Oh! 276 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:47,200 I was like that, just gettin' images. 277 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,160 Let me have a look at this. 278 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,320 Sparkle Hoof and Googling everywhere. 279 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,560 -Found one, it was fake. -Oh god! 280 00:09:51,680 --> 00:09:53,000 Found another site and then bam! 281 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:54,440 -And I've got it! -Amazing! 282 00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:55,640 I honestly think it might be the last one left 283 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:56,800 in the whole of the UK! 284 00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:58,000 Wow! 285 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,240 That is a magical story, thank you. 286 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:01,880 Better get a move on though, it's in Carlisle. 287 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:02,880 It's where? 288 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:03,880 Carlisle. 289 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,120 Well how far's Carlisle? 290 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,320 It's a bit of a mission, I mean I realize that. 291 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,560 4 1/1 hour's drive. 292 00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:09,560 Whoa, that far! 293 00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:10,800 That is a mission! 294 00:10:10,920 --> 00:10:12,280 Oh, that's too far on Christmas Eve, 295 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,320 but thanks for meddling. 296 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,360 You know what Andrew, I think it is doable. 297 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:16,760 Lot of things are doable. 298 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:17,840 Yeah it's definitely doable. 299 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:19,120 I mean if you leave right now. 300 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,120 Thing is you can't really put a price 301 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:22,120 on your daughter's happiness, can you? 302 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,160 -No. -No, you can't. 303 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:24,480 But then her happiness will be 304 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,720 heavily discounted on Boxing Day, so. 305 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:28,280 Okay you know what, I'll go. 306 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:30,320 And then I'll come back and I'll do the turkey, 307 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:32,040 and the gamin, and the roast potatoes, and the carrots, 308 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:33,760 and the parsnips, and the bread sauce, 309 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:35,120 and the cranberry sauce, and the knobby greens, 310 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,000 and the devils on horseback, and the little pigs in blankets 311 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,920 and the Yorkshire puddings because Andrew 312 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,320 insists on having them on Christmas Day. 313 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:43,040 Wow you're gonna do all of that and drive to Carlisle? 314 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,280 No Dev, I'm being passive aggressive. 315 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:47,120 Ah, didn't get that, did you? 316 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,840 Did you not, no there was a minor subtext. 317 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:51,360 Alright, off I go. [sighing] 318 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:52,920 Thank you. 319 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,200 The nine hours to Carlisle and back. 320 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,600 Wow. 321 00:10:57,720 --> 00:10:59,440 I'll tell you what, any chump who can find his flights 322 00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:02,680 can be father but that, that is a dad! 323 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,160 Aww, who said that originally, was that Wordsworth? 324 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,240 No I literally just came up with it now. 325 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:07,240 Did ya? 326 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:08,760 Right, I'll get the tunes and snacks sorted, 327 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:09,560 and I'll meet you at the car. 328 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:10,640 What? 329 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:12,080 You get the car started, 330 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,280 and I'll get the tunes and the snacks. 331 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:14,240 Oh god no! 332 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:18,320 Because you've already done too much! 333 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:20,200 Don't be silly Andy, I don't mind! 334 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,120 It'll be that drink that we never got round to. 335 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,680 I think it'll be nice for you to have the company Andrew. 336 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:25,760 Do you! 337 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,080 Because you know me, 338 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,640 when I'm doing any kind of nine hour journey, 339 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,440 I prefer to do it alone. 340 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:32,880 Just voom, get out there, get the job done, 341 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,240 voom straight back! 342 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,920 No but Andy, I have to come because it's on my card. 343 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,600 Oh he's got every base covered! 344 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,240 Isn't it my turn to the turkey this year? 345 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:43,240 No definitely not. 346 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,040 You're happy for us to just fall into our, 347 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,000 into stereotypical gender roles? 348 00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:50,160 Yeah, happy to let this one slide. 349 00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,320 Ahh, alright well. 350 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,160 -Yeah? -Off we go. 351 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:56,240 Road trip! 352 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,320 Carlisle here we come! 353 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:58,400 [exclaiming] 354 00:11:58,520 --> 00:11:59,280 [laughing] 355 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,640 [playful music] 356 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:01,840 Good luck! 357 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:05,680 ♪ Ring the bell blow the horn 358 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,320 ♪ Let the music play 359 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,080 ♪ School is out and the children all shout ♪ 360 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,760 ♪ You know it's a holiday 361 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:16,320 ♪ Decorating the big pine tree 362 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,800 ♪ Down at the din 363 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:21,520 ♪ Celebrating with the family and friends ♪ 364 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:24,040 ♪ Christmas is here again 365 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:28,080 ♪ Listening to the Christmas songs ♪ 366 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,520 [beatboxing] 367 00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:32,880 ♪ Slow it down 368 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,320 [beatboxing] 369 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:40,560 Oh, wasn't expecting the shotgun. 370 00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:42,040 Yeah! 371 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,160 And that's all self taught, it's just YouTube tutorials. 372 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,960 I do singing as well. 373 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:46,760 No need. 374 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:50,040 [vocalizing] 375 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:50,840 It doesn't mean anything it's just work. 376 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,760 No, it doesn't, I can tell. 377 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,440 Not actually saying anything it's just that. 378 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:58,200 -No, I can tell. -[vocalizing] 379 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:03,080 [festive music] 380 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:07,960 Maoam? 381 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,120 No thanks. 382 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:09,920 Come on! 383 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,320 Here, I can put it in for you. 384 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,720 -No, thanks. -Don't leave me hanging! 385 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:14,480 -Andy, it's there now! -[Dev drowns out Andrew] 386 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,080 Ahhh say "Ahhh!" 387 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,560 Look at that, there we go. 388 00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,200 -[soda fizzing] -Whoa! 389 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:22,240 Dev! Dev! 390 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,000 Well that's the gas out of it now. 391 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,360 [soda fizzing] 392 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:27,360 Dev! 393 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,040 Sorry sorry sorry so sorry! 394 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,520 Oh do the wipers. 395 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,120 They're on the outside, Dev. 396 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:35,280 Oh god yeah. 397 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,000 So it's all, 398 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:39,960 you got some on your glasses. 399 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:40,760 Dev, I'm trying to drive! 400 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,120 Sorry sorry! 401 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,680 ["Stop The Calvary" playing] 402 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,240 I didn't even see you carrying them. 403 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,920 Yeah! [laughing] 404 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:51,680 Kai and Ethan, they go absolutely nuts for these. 405 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,240 -Do they? -Yep! 406 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,560 I'll tell you what they know it's Christmas 407 00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,560 when Big Poppy rolls up with these in the dashboard. 408 00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:58,560 -You know ho ho ho! -Yeah. 409 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,560 That's one thing I have got over Dave, you know. 410 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:02,040 [Andrew] Oh yeah? 411 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,040 Yes, he's got a Range Rover, but he will not festoon it. 412 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,240 I can see why though cus they are making it 413 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:06,560 quite hard for me to see the road. 414 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,600 -Are they? -Yeah. 415 00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:08,360 Okay sorry, mate. 416 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,920 [music continues playing] 417 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:15,040 [music playing slower] 418 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:18,000 Oh it's got a battery life of 40 minutes! 419 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:19,000 [chuckling] Okay. 420 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:22,640 That'll fly by. [laughing] 421 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,000 [music distorted] 422 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:30,000 It's Christmas! [laughing] 423 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:31,040 That's the fourth time you've done that, idn't it? 424 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,040 Still funny, idn't it! 425 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:33,840 -Yeah no it is, yes. -[laughing] 426 00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:35,400 No I love Christmas, it's like Diwali but with turkey. 427 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:36,640 You know? 428 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:37,680 And the kids love it, it's what Kai and Ethan. 429 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,080 I tell you what when you see us playing, 430 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,600 you won't know who's grown up, honestly. 431 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:41,800 [laughing] 432 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:42,880 You've got them tomorrow have you? 433 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:46,560 Tomorrow no, Mandy's got them this year so. 434 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:49,560 Dave's actually taking them to Disney World, Florida 435 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,000 which is bloody nice of him. 436 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:54,400 No tomorrow I've got the day to myself so. 437 00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,640 Well I envy you, we've got our whole mob descending on us. 438 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,160 -Eat me out of house and home. -[laughing] 439 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:02,800 You're the lucky one. 440 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,840 [thoughtful music] 441 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,960 [honking] 442 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:23,560 Traffic's getting worse. 443 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:24,680 Isn't it, yeah. 444 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:28,040 Who'd have thought that, on Christmas Eve. 445 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,440 Okay you know what. 446 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,360 Let's take this exit, come off here. 447 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:32,440 Really? 448 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:33,200 Yeah yeah get off here, I know what I'm doing. 449 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,040 100% 100%. 450 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,560 Madness staying here on the motorway when it's like that. 451 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:37,920 It's chocoblock! 452 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,000 [Andrew] Okay so which exit am I taking here? 453 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,520 First, second, doesn't really matter you know. 454 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,120 It's the beauty of the age that we live in. 455 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:47,320 Have you not got a route in mind? 456 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:48,680 It's the age of the Sat Nav! 457 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:49,760 What we'll do, we'll just go down here, 458 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,320 then once it's seen that we've taken a diversion, 459 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:52,640 it'll give us a new route. 460 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,560 [GPS] Recalculating. 461 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:55,680 There we go see, it's got us now. 462 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:56,960 [GPS] At the first opportunity, 463 00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,280 turn around and take M-6 Northbound. 464 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,480 It just seems to be telling us to turn round. 465 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,280 Ignore it, okay we need to show it that we mean business. 466 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,600 [GPS] At the first opportunity, turn around and take M-6. 467 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,560 Alright so where am I going here, left or right? 468 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:12,840 You know what it literally doesn't matter. 469 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:13,800 Right. 470 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,120 Yeah, we'll just go down here for a bit. 471 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:21,600 [GPS] At the first opportunity, 472 00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,560 turn around and take M-6 Northbound. 473 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:27,880 I don't think the plan's working. 474 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,440 It's testing us, carry on. 475 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:30,440 [GPS] Recalculating. 476 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:31,400 Here we go. 477 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,720 [GPS] At the first opportunity turn around. 478 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:34,720 The balls on this thing mate! 479 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,480 [GPS] And take M-6 Northbound. 480 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:40,960 No no no, what you doing? 481 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,320 I'm gonna turn round and go back the way we came. 482 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:43,080 No Andy, honestly it's gonna be fine! 483 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:43,880 We're in the middle of nowhere! 484 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:44,920 It's gonna be fine! 485 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:45,680 We're just gonna be driving around! 486 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,520 [GPS] Continue for one mile. 487 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,040 Ahh, here we go! 488 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:50,840 Told you! [chuckling] 489 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,600 Alright well we're not out of the woods yet. 490 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,520 Literally. 491 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:55,880 [laughing] 492 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:56,680 Oh yeah! 493 00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,840 Is it alright if I use that? 494 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,480 Note to self, if in woods and lost, 495 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,840 just say, "We're not out of the woods yet." [chuckling] 496 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,920 [thoughtful music] 497 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,160 [parking brake clicks] 498 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:20,360 What's wrong, why have you stopped? 499 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:21,760 Why have I stopped, because I'm going to have to 500 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:22,920 reverse back up to that junction. 501 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,800 What are you talking about, just drive through! 502 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,240 I can't drive through, it's flooded! 503 00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:28,160 It's a ford! 504 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,360 Haven't you ever forded before? 505 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,680 Oh I've forded before boy, alright? 506 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,000 I'm one of the great forders. 507 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,080 But the point is that this is flooded, it's not passable. 508 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,160 A ford is a flood, a flood that's passable, 509 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,200 that's the whole point. 510 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:40,920 Andy honestly we haven't got time. 511 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:41,680 I tell you what, let's swap places 512 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:42,520 and I'll take her through. 513 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:43,840 No hey hey hey! 514 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:44,520 No, you're not getting behind this wheel alright? 515 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,040 No one drives this car but me. 516 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:47,440 And that's not just me saying that, 517 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,600 that's also Aviva. 518 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,920 I'm not voiding my policy because of your antics. 519 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:53,360 Alright, let's go. 520 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,160 [pensive music] 521 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,320 Easy, easy, easy. 522 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:01,480 That's it. 523 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:02,360 Easy, easy. 524 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,400 Nice and easy. 525 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,480 There we go, there we go. 526 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:09,240 [wheels thump] 527 00:18:09,360 --> 00:18:10,280 What are you doing? 528 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,200 Why have you stopped? 529 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:12,960 -Oh god. -[engine revving] 530 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:13,760 That's it, steady as she goes. 531 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,320 Oh no, I knew it, we're stuck! 532 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:17,920 Okay what you need to do is slowly give her some gas-- 533 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,160 I know how to drive a car. 534 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,400 Thanks very much Richard Hammond, we're stuck. 535 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,280 [sighing] 536 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,920 Alright that's on me, okay. 537 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,360 My bad, my bad, I hold my hands up. 538 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,040 Okay I'll take that one, you've got to admit when you're, 539 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:31,160 what are you doing? 540 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:32,080 We're gonna call for a breakdown, 541 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:32,880 get ourselves towed out. 542 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:33,720 No no, hold on a minute! 543 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:34,600 She just needs a little push. 544 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:35,600 [gasping] 545 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:36,840 -Dev! -Oh god! Oh god! 546 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,160 -Just what are you doing! -Oh god! Alright! 547 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:40,240 Sorry! 548 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:41,320 What is wrong with you! 549 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:42,600 Sorry! 550 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,040 Just sit there and try not to help! 551 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,200 Okay, sorry. 552 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,240 [sighing] 553 00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,000 I can't get a signal. 554 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,560 Shall I, check my phone? 555 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:54,520 Yes! 556 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,400 It's just that you said don't help. 557 00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,080 Check your phone! 558 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:01,720 Nada. 559 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:02,680 No. 560 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,360 [sun roof motor whirring] 561 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:07,600 I, I got, no. 562 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:10,720 Hang on. 563 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:15,520 [Dev] Anything? 564 00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,080 No. 565 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:19,000 I got a bar, no it's. 566 00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:20,040 No hang on. 567 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:24,440 What network are you on? 568 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:25,600 Here we go. 569 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:28,120 Oh yeah, got a flag here. 570 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,720 Alright, let's get this show back on the road. 571 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,280 Oh you're joking! 572 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:33,720 [brake clicks] 573 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,120 [splashing] 574 00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:45,120 [thoughtful music] 575 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,880 Again just, very, very sorry. 576 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:57,680 I shoulda waited, I just saw it and I thought. 577 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,720 Anyway, listen let's get these blowers on you. 578 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,040 Let's get you dried up eh? 579 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,440 I also just accidentally saw your winky there. 580 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,960 There we go, back in the fast lane, making progress. 581 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,760 [Andrew] Well not exactly because this 582 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,080 is the same junction that we came off at. 583 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:18,880 [Dev] Is it? 584 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,120 Nah it looks different. 585 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,720 It looks different cus it's a bit darker now. 586 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:29,160 [sneezes] 587 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:32,520 ["Stop The Calvary" starts playing] 588 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,200 There you, I got you something to wear. 589 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,800 It's all they had in your size. 590 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,000 That's all they had? 591 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,120 ["Deck the Halls" playing] 592 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:45,720 Literally can't find them anywhere, 593 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:46,640 they're like gold dust! 594 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:47,720 Yeah yeah I know it! 595 00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:49,120 You can't get hold of those for love nor money. 596 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:49,920 I know right? 597 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,920 So I go online, good neighbor. 598 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,920 Only managed to find one didn't I? 599 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:55,120 Shut up! 600 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,040 Click and Collect, I honestly think it might be 601 00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:58,920 the one left in the whole country! 602 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:01,560 But uh-oh, it's in Carlisle. 603 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:02,800 Well you know just outside, 604 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,520 you know Kingsview Retail Park. 605 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:05,760 And we're at Bedford. 606 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:06,920 Me and my mate Andy, 607 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,120 we're going down there now to collect it. 608 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,360 And there he is, Andy! 609 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,480 If you're wondering, it's the only thing in my size. 610 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:13,280 [laughing] 611 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:14,480 This card machine's not working. 612 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:16,120 Just give me a sec, I'll go and look for another one. 613 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:17,720 Yeah no worries. 614 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,520 Andy, how about a cheeky five minutes on the arcade 615 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:23,600 before we go and hit the road? 616 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:25,000 No. 617 00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:26,440 Me and you, come on, on the little mini motorbikes? 618 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:27,600 [imitates whizzing] 619 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:28,840 Show those boys who's got pubes! 620 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:29,920 -That's tempting. -Yeah? 621 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,520 But the answer's still no. 622 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:32,760 [sighs] 623 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,000 How much money have you got? 624 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,320 I don't know, 40 quid? 625 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:37,520 Nice one! 626 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:38,440 Love, can we pay cash! 627 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,240 Quicker idn't it! 628 00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:42,360 Nice one, thank you. 629 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:43,600 Alright. 630 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,600 Just the two Junior Fun Meals for you is it? 631 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:46,960 Yeah, I always get these then 632 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:47,840 I save the toys for Kai and Ethan. 633 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,240 [Jessica] There you go, Lovie. 634 00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:50,480 Hey hey hey. 635 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:51,520 Good luck with your mission. 636 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,040 Thank you, oi Merry Christmas yeah? 637 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:54,400 [Jessica] Merry Christmas to you. 638 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:55,320 He's an elf! [laughing] 639 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:58,600 Would you believe I'm VAT registered? 640 00:21:58,720 --> 00:21:59,680 Sorry to bother you gents. 641 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,880 But I'm trying to get enough for the shelter. 642 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,680 Haven't got any spare change? 643 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,400 Ah you know what I'm strictly plastic these days. 644 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:09,520 But I tell you what, you can have my Big Boy milkshake. 645 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:10,520 Enjoy. 646 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:11,520 Oh you're a gem! 647 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:12,720 Isn't he just. 648 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:13,760 You sure you don't have any spare change? 649 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,320 I don't have any spare change currently, no. 650 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:16,880 Andy she just gave you some, you're literally holding it. 651 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,720 It's not spare change though is it? 652 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,280 you know what I mean that's, 653 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:21,840 I think he means kinda coins or something. 654 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:22,800 No no no, that's loose change. 655 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:23,600 You'd accept a tenner idn't it? 656 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:24,560 Yeah! 657 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:25,560 He'd accept a tenner! 658 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:26,560 I'm sure he will. 659 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,600 Cus he's you know, 660 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:29,880 a homeless man. 661 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:34,880 Awww. 662 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:39,720 Aww, that is generous! 663 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,160 -Yeah. -A tenner! 664 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,200 God bless you, Sir. 665 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,520 Merry Christmas. 666 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,520 Merry Christmas, mate, aww. 667 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,160 You know what, the world needs more Andys. 668 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:49,320 It'd be a better place. 669 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:50,480 They'd all be skin though wouldn't they? [chuckling] 670 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:51,720 You shouldn't do that really, 671 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,040 cus I actually read an article once 672 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,920 written by a former homeless guy, it was in the Telegraph. 673 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:57,080 And he said that if you just give it to them, 674 00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,360 they just spend it on booze and drugs, 675 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,280 so it's much better to give it to charity. 676 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,640 Ahhh, you do that do you? 677 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:06,040 Are you gonna eat these, cus I don't want them in the car. 678 00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:07,920 Yeah, let's go. 679 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,960 [thoughtful music] 680 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:13,320 Obviously, place is mobbed. 681 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:14,160 That's alright I'll tell you what, 682 00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:15,400 we'll beat the queue okay? 683 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:18,600 I'll park, you pay, teamwork makes the dream work yeah? 684 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:19,960 Let's do this. 685 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:22,240 I honestly think it might be 686 00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:23,560 the last one left in the whole country! 687 00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:25,080 [chuckling] 688 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,760 Carlisle, can you imagine! 689 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:27,920 We're at Bedford! 690 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,000 We're on our way up there now. 691 00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:31,640 Ah, Dev by the way. 692 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:36,400 [thoughtful music] 693 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,080 Right, next stop Carlisle! 694 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:46,000 [engine sputtering] 695 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:48,520 What, why is it making that sound? 696 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:50,400 That sounds bad. 697 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,400 That's just diesel engines, idn't it? 698 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:53,120 Noisy. 699 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,920 What do you mean by diesel engines? 700 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,680 Once again just very, very sorry. 701 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,840 Why in god's name would you just assume it's a diesel! 702 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,400 Okay if I'm being honest I thought you know 703 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,600 switched on guy like you does a lot of motorway mileage, 704 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:07,440 it's gotta be a diesel. 705 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:08,880 What! 706 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,200 Are we sure it's not a diesel? 707 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:11,240 Yes! 708 00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:12,400 We're sure because I remember five years ago 709 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:15,640 when I bought it, it wasn't a diesel! 710 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,360 [festive music] 711 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,480 Alright thanks, bye. 712 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,720 What they'd say? 713 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,120 Apparently, a couple of squirts of Sillit 714 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:29,600 Bang in the Tank and we'll be good to go. 715 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:30,600 Really! 716 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:31,520 No, obviously not. 717 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,080 It's gonna take em three hours to get here 718 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:34,280 and another 30 minutes to drain the tank. 719 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,520 [groans] 720 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:38,080 It's over, alright? 721 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:39,920 No Andy, don't say that. 722 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,640 Alright listen I'm gonna sort it, I'm get us a lift. 723 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:42,720 How are you gonna do that? 724 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:43,920 I'm bringing out the big guns. 725 00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:45,360 I'm Tweeting. 726 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:48,880 Just one Retweet from Lineker, a Rowling, an Edmunds! 727 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,480 We're gonna be swamped with offers. 728 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,680 Dev, you've killed the car, it's over. 729 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:54,240 No no no Andy I can fix it, I promise. 730 00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:56,120 My mate it's Christmas, people like to help! 731 00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:59,560 Mate, my mate! Can we do a car swap? 732 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:00,880 Ours isn't working! 733 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:01,680 Mate! 734 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:02,560 You're gonna get sanctioned. 735 00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:03,720 Rightly sanctioned. 736 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:04,560 No, Dev! 737 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:05,880 Mate mate mate mate! 738 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,600 Ignore him, he just drank a whole bottle of Coke. 739 00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,000 Can we borrow your motor? 740 00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:09,920 We're just waiting for the breakdown guy, 741 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:11,120 we'll be two hours max! 742 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:12,400 Dev, the man's trying to work, leave him alone. 743 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:13,200 Sorry about this. 744 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:14,400 Okay please look, 745 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:15,440 we're trying to save a little girl's Christmas yeah. 746 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:17,600 We need to get to the shop before it shuts. 747 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:18,320 He'll give you 200 quid! 748 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:19,360 What? 749 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:20,160 200 quid? 750 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:21,480 -Yeah. -Alright yeah. 751 00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:22,480 That's it! 752 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:23,640 We're going to Carlisle! 753 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,680 We're not going to Carlisle Dev, that's not a car! 754 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,040 Alright that's one of those things 755 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:28,240 you've seen in airports that's taking 756 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:29,280 elderly passengers to their plane 757 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:30,400 because they're going to be late otherwise! 758 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:31,600 No offense. 759 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:32,960 It goes up to 50. 760 00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:34,000 It goes up to 50! 761 00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:35,520 It goes up to 50, no! 762 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,040 This is madness! 763 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:38,560 Yeah I know but what other choice have we got left! 764 00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:40,080 Ah to not do it! 765 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,600 Please try and stay positive, mate. 766 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:44,560 This has nothing to do with staying positive alright! 767 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,160 This is not a vehicle for grownups! 768 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:47,480 This is made by Fisher Price! 769 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:48,560 No offense. 770 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:49,560 [scoffing] 771 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:50,560 I don't get you, man. 772 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:51,920 Like what kinda dad are you? 773 00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:53,240 What kinda dad am I? 774 00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:55,720 Yeah, I'd do anything to save my kids' Christmas. 775 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:56,840 I'll walk over broken glass! 776 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,120 Says the man who's only gotta 777 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,280 take his kids to Megaball every other weekend. 778 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,040 [somber music] 779 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,440 Tomorrow my kids are gonna be 4000 miles away. 780 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,160 If it meant that I could see them smile on Christmas morning 781 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,640 I'd be up that high shoulder on a unicycle. 782 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,800 So, do you wanna take Bertha or not? 783 00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,800 Night night, Sweetheart! 784 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:36,960 Remember the sooner you go to sleep, 785 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,600 the sooner it'll be Christmas morning. 786 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:39,400 Night night Daddy! 787 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:40,680 Sleep tight! 788 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:42,800 You put Mummy back on. 789 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:45,040 Hello, so how's it going? 790 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,240 Not great, if I'm honest. 791 00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:50,600 We had a bit of car trouble. 792 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:52,800 Oh no, what happened? 793 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,040 It's nothing to worry about, I'll explain later. 794 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,400 But we're not gonna make it. 795 00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:01,040 Sorry. 796 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,000 Well, just get home safe. 797 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:09,880 Am I a bad father? 798 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,320 No! 799 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:15,560 I think you're a great dad, look how far you've gone! 800 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,440 You tried everything. 801 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:20,280 What more could you do? 802 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:25,480 I'll see you soon then. 803 00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:26,920 [Claire] Night, love. 804 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:27,880 G'night. 805 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:33,680 ♪ I see the snowflakes fall 806 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,480 ♪ Young children 807 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:42,040 ♪ Have a ball 808 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:47,000 ♪ But I can't smile at all 809 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,000 ♪ You're not with me 810 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:56,720 [horn beeping] 811 00:27:56,840 --> 00:27:59,520 [playful music] 812 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:15,520 [whooping] 813 00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:16,600 ["Ode to Joy"] 814 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:17,560 Come on! 815 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:21,000 God I've never felt more alive! 816 00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:23,280 This the greatest 200 pounds I've ever spent! 817 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:24,280 Isn't it! 818 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:25,280 Ha! 819 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:26,880 [hollering] 820 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,040 It's insane! 821 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:35,880 We made it! 822 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,240 And with time to spare! 823 00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:38,440 I gotta hand it to ya. 824 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:40,000 We're not dead, we're not in jail. 825 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,040 We're here within store opening hours. 826 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:43,480 You said you'd get us here. 827 00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:45,880 Now let's get that plastic unicorn. 828 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,480 ♪ Ding dong ding dong ding dong dong ♪ 829 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:51,760 ♪ Ding dong ding dong 830 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:53,240 Evening, squire! 831 00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:54,760 We have clicked and now we have come to collect. 832 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:55,760 We have! 833 00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:56,800 I just need your payment card. 834 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,560 No problemo. 835 00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,320 Sparkle Hoof the unicorn princess. 836 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,240 I think you'll find there only one left in stock. 837 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:04,640 We've come from Bedford! 838 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,000 Hey Andy, we should contact The One Show about this. 839 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:07,800 They would love this! 840 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:09,000 This is a proper story! 841 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:10,200 That Welsh lady. 842 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:13,240 There's no reservation against this card. 843 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:14,440 Say what? 844 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:16,200 There's no reservation against this card on the system. 845 00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:19,640 No there definitely is, just try again please. 846 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,080 [computer beeps] 847 00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:23,840 Nope, nothing. 848 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:25,720 What's happening Dev? 849 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:27,000 You definitely did buy it, did you? 850 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:28,240 Yeah, I've got the email receipt. 851 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:29,280 I've got the email receipt! 852 00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:33,520 We do need the payment card unfortunately. 853 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,280 Was it another card Dev? 854 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:36,640 You do strike me as a man who may have 855 00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:37,760 a lot of credit cards. 856 00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:39,840 It was definitely this card! 857 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:41,600 Hold on a minute, this isn't my card. 858 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:43,400 Who's Jessica Hughes? 859 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:44,480 [Jessica] There you go Lovie, 860 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,480 I've popped your receipt in your bag for you. 861 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,200 Merry Christmas! 862 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:49,400 Her! 863 00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:50,480 That's Jessica Hughes! 864 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:51,840 [suspenseful music] 865 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,000 Sorry, excuse me, excuse me! 866 00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:55,760 Excuse me! Excuse me! 867 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:56,720 Excuse me! 868 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:03,640 There, she's there, come on let's go! 869 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:05,000 [tires squealing] 870 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,160 Come on quick, she's getting away! 871 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:10,320 Let's go let's go, pedal to the metal! 872 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:24,040 What are you doing, why are you stopping? 873 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:25,440 Why exactly are we chasing a lone woman 874 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,640 through a car park at night? 875 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,760 That's the woman from the burger bar remember? 876 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:31,080 She switched the cards! 877 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,440 She's got your Sparkle Hoof! 878 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:36,040 What are you doing? 879 00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:36,800 Calling the police. 880 00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:37,600 No, why! 881 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:38,600 A crime's been committed. 882 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:39,440 What and how long are the police 883 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:40,240 gonna take to sort it out? 884 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:41,840 A day, a week, a month? 885 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:43,280 That's if they do anything at all! 886 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,600 Tupac was shot and killed on the Las Vegas strip 887 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:48,240 and to this day, his killer walks free. 888 00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:49,360 [groaning] 889 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,040 Now you need your Sparkle Hoof tonight, am I right? 890 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:51,800 Yeah. 891 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:52,840 Am I right! 892 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,120 Yes but what we gonna do about it? 893 00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:55,800 Tatatatatatatata! 894 00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:59,880 Brown Santa's gonna save Christmas. 895 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:01,200 Sorry, who's Brown Santa? 896 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:02,160 Me! 897 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:08,080 ♪ Show me what ya got show me what ya got now ♪ 898 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:15,880 ♪ You gettin' sweet with me you gettin' sweet with me ♪ 899 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,280 ♪ Show me what ya got show me what ya got now ♪ 900 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:21,400 ♪ Show me what ya got show me what ya got now. ♪ 901 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:25,720 ♪ You gettin' sweet with me you gettin' sweet with me ♪ 902 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:27,480 ♪ You gettin' sweet with me 903 00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:30,040 ♪ Show me what ya got show me what ya got now ♪ 904 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:31,680 Hi, is Jessica still here? 905 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:32,880 Sorry? 906 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,720 Jess, oh god I haven't missed her have I? 907 00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:37,240 Oh Jessa, oh she finished a couple of hours ago. 908 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:38,960 Damnit! 909 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,240 I couldn't get away from the soup kitchen any earlier, 910 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:43,200 and my phone's dead, oh! 911 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,160 Can I help ya? 912 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:49,040 Right so you know [mumbling] who works at the noodle bar? 913 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:50,040 [Cashier] Who? 914 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,360 [mumbling] who works at the noodle bar. 915 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:53,120 Sue? 916 00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:54,280 Sue! Exactly! 917 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:55,920 So I'm Sue's husband right. 918 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:57,360 Didn't you die! 919 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:01,000 I did die, I did. 920 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,640 For six minutes but then god bless the NHS, 921 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,280 they got the old ticker going again. 922 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,840 Anyway Sue asked me to give Jessie this Christmas present. 923 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,880 It's for her kid. 924 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,320 I even hired a giant elf. 925 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:16,120 Hiya. 926 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:17,120 Hi. 927 00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:19,320 Damnit, I guess their Christmas's ruined. 928 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,320 [sighing] 929 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:25,160 Hold on, you wouldn't have her address would you? 930 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:32,080 That was amazing! 931 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,320 Honestly, and I don't say this lightly, 932 00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:35,760 you reminded me of Lovejoy. 933 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,520 Thank you. 934 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,880 [hiphop "Silent Night"] 935 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:55,120 Stop stop stop stop, that's the one. 936 00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:57,400 [car beeps] 937 00:32:57,520 --> 00:32:59,840 Now you can leave the talking to me. 938 00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:00,840 I can do quite a lot of the 939 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:02,600 contractual negotiations at work. 940 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,480 Granted a lot of that's by email but. 941 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:05,560 Dev? 942 00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:06,480 Bingo! 943 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:09,240 We're not negotiating. 944 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,200 [mischievous music] 945 00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:14,680 What you doing? 946 00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:16,240 No one's home, we're breaking in. 947 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:17,520 No! 948 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:18,720 We're obviously not! 949 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:19,720 We've got a credit card. 950 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:20,600 You can open locks with credit cards. 951 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:22,120 We're not breaking in! 952 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:23,520 Alright Andy listen to me. 953 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:25,560 In a few hours either her kid's Christmas is ruined, 954 00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:26,640 or yours is. 955 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,320 Now give me that credit card! 956 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:30,080 Will it work with a Visa debit? 957 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:31,040 Oh yes! 958 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:35,760 Have you done this before? 959 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:37,360 Nah, but how hard can it be? 960 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:39,240 [card snaps] 961 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:40,520 Harder than it looks apparently. 962 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:41,520 Hold that. 963 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:45,480 No don't! 964 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:46,520 It's the only way, it's for Emily! 965 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:47,680 There's another way! 966 00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:48,680 There's no other way! 967 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:50,080 There is another way! 968 00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:51,480 Look just there! 969 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:53,320 Oh there is another way. 970 00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:54,760 [Andrew] Right? 971 00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,520 Classic key under the gnome. 972 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,360 [lock clicking] 973 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:23,880 [engine switching off] 974 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:25,840 [car doors clicking] 975 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:26,800 Oh! 976 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:29,280 Go go, in here! 977 00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,920 [suspenseful music] 978 00:34:38,240 --> 00:34:39,160 Go go, go go! 979 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:44,160 Here, here, here, go! 980 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,120 Come on come on come on! 981 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:50,360 [Jessica] Here we are, look. 982 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,200 Shh shh shh, good girl. 983 00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:58,160 Night night. 984 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,840 [sweet piano music] 985 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:21,960 ♪ Well the stars are shining 986 00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,280 ♪ And the moon is bright 987 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:29,440 ♪ And the snow lies deep on the hills tonight ♪ 988 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:34,600 ♪ And your favorite song's on the radio ♪ 989 00:35:34,720 --> 00:35:36,760 ♪ And I wish you were here 990 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:40,080 ♪ But I'm hours from home 991 00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:46,080 Ho ho ho! 992 00:35:48,800 --> 00:35:50,840 [shushing] 993 00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:55,240 ♪ Gonna treasure all its charms ♪ 994 00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:59,760 ♪ And the only thing that I want this year ♪ 995 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:03,600 ♪ Is to hold you in my arms 996 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:10,160 It was the right thing to do. 997 00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:11,320 [sighing] 998 00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,160 What else could you do? 999 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,320 You're a good man. 1000 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:21,880 Let's get a dirty little burger and go home. 1001 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:22,880 Oh you're gonna have to spot me though, 1002 00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:23,880 cus I haven't got the cash. 1003 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,880 I assumed that would be the case. 1004 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,240 -You're a good man. -Thanks. 1005 00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:36,080 ♪ Merry Christmas baby 1006 00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:38,680 What you writing? 1007 00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:44,320 Dearest Emily, Father Christmas here. 1008 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:47,240 It's very unusual for me to write directly to clients. 1009 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:48,080 Children? 1010 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:50,640 Children. 1011 00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:52,520 But unfortunately you will not receive 1012 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,200 the gift you requested because of supply chain issues 1013 00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,440 due to market uncertainty surrounding Brexit. 1014 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:02,240 Despite the fact you've been an extremely good girl 1015 00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:03,000 this year. 1016 00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:08,080 [thoughtful music] 1017 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:11,600 Hey, come on. 1018 00:37:12,720 --> 00:37:13,680 You'll get her one in a few days time. 1019 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,240 Man what's the difference? 1020 00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:17,960 You were right, people go way over the top about Christmas. 1021 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:19,840 Tomorrow's just another day. 1022 00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:21,600 It's not though is it? 1023 00:37:21,720 --> 00:37:23,240 It's Christmas Day. 1024 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:41,040 Hey, why don't we have a quick go on the arcades? 1025 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,560 Because I'm 43 years old! 1026 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:45,320 And your point is? 1027 00:37:47,600 --> 00:37:49,800 [pop music playing] 1028 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:51,560 [Game] Nice moves! 1029 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:53,280 Perfect! 1030 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:56,520 This is how I get all my cardio! 1031 00:37:56,640 --> 00:37:58,120 [Game] Excellent! 1032 00:37:58,240 --> 00:37:59,080 Perfect! 1033 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:02,240 New high score! 1034 00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:03,240 Another? 1035 00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:04,120 Yeah! 1036 00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:04,920 I mean yeah, if you want one, yeah. 1037 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:06,640 Go on then, do you wanna? 1038 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:07,280 -Oh yeah. -Cheers. 1039 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:09,040 Yeah. 1040 00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:10,440 [coin clatters] 1041 00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:12,120 Oh butterfingers! 1042 00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:15,400 [dramatic music] 1043 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:16,480 Oh my days! 1044 00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:19,840 Andy! 1045 00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,240 Come here come here come here! 1046 00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:30,160 Oh my days! 1047 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,200 Alright listen, this is my domain. 1048 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:37,360 I've got this. 1049 00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:43,440 [machine whirs] 1050 00:38:43,560 --> 00:38:47,000 [music turns suspenseful] 1051 00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:51,520 Easy. 1052 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:54,760 Easy. 1053 00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:58,680 [machine whirs] 1054 00:38:58,800 --> 00:38:59,680 Easy. 1055 00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:04,960 Good. 1056 00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:09,160 Easy. 1057 00:39:17,720 --> 00:39:19,480 [groaning] 1058 00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:20,840 Alright listen. 1059 00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:23,400 How much cash have you got left? 1060 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,040 20. 1061 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:27,840 Go and get it changed. 1062 00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:31,680 I'm gonna get you that plastic unicorn. 1063 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:35,320 [determined music playing] 1064 00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:19,400 [groaning] 1065 00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:20,120 Damnit! 1066 00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:26,080 This is our last pound. 1067 00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,320 [machine whirring] 1068 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,280 [suspenseful music] 1069 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:39,920 Easy. 1070 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:18,280 No! 1071 00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:24,200 Andy I'm sorry, I've let you down. 1072 00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:25,640 It's over. 1073 00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:27,680 No it's not. 1074 00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:31,160 A wise man once said to me, it's Christmas. 1075 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:32,920 People like to help. 1076 00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:37,000 Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. 1077 00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:40,440 If I can have you attention please. 1078 00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:45,280 I know what you're thinking and I am not a drug addict. 1079 00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:46,960 I am not a drinker. 1080 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:49,760 I'll occasionally have a mulled wine. 1081 00:41:49,880 --> 00:41:51,520 And probably just the one. 1082 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,520 And almost always with food. 1083 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:55,560 But the point is, 1084 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:59,040 I am trying to save my daughter's Christmas. 1085 00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:01,160 All she wants is a plastic unicorn 1086 00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:06,040 but because of me tomorrow she's gonna open a chemistry set. 1087 00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:10,320 Which let's face it is basically just extra school. 1088 00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:14,040 But if you were able to help me tonight, 1089 00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:17,160 reach into your pockets and give any spare change, 1090 00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:18,920 and spare change I should clarify 1091 00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:20,480 does include 10 pound notes. 1092 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,880 Then tomorrow I can see my daughter smile 1093 00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:28,160 on Christmas morning. 1094 00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:31,960 [customers chatting] 1095 00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:33,520 Oh you people make me sick! 1096 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:34,640 [Dev] Okay mate. 1097 00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:35,680 No I mean look at em! 1098 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:36,720 Alright Andy. 1099 00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:38,120 -Skin flints! -Okay. 1100 00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:39,000 Yeah you heard it! 1101 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:40,120 I read an article actually 1102 00:42:40,240 --> 00:42:41,480 and you shouldn't give them money. 1103 00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:44,440 Much better to give it to a charity. 1104 00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:48,440 All out of luck eh boys? 1105 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:50,680 Well I know all about that. 1106 00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:57,080 Let's see if we can't do something here. 1107 00:42:57,200 --> 00:43:01,000 ♪ Silent night 1108 00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:05,520 ♪ Holy night 1109 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:07,400 ♪ All is calm 1110 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:08,520 Thank you. 1111 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:12,600 Every ought to get what they want at Christmas. 1112 00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:14,400 [bells jingle] 1113 00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:18,560 ♪ Round yon virgin mother and child ♪ 1114 00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:23,040 Wait, it couldn't be could it? 1115 00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:27,080 -[urine splashing] -[groaning] 1116 00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:28,080 -No definitely not. -Nah that's not him. 1117 00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:30,040 Come on come on come on! 1118 00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:33,440 [kisses coin] 1119 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:34,560 Kiss it. 1120 00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,960 I don't wanna kiss it I'd tramp at it. 1121 00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:39,320 [machine whirring] 1122 00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,280 [suspenseful music] 1123 00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:52,200 [hollering] 1124 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:57,080 ["Stop The Calvary" by Jona Lewie playing] 1125 00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:06,920 ♪ Dub a dub a dum dum dub a dub a dum ♪ 1126 00:45:07,040 --> 00:45:10,080 ♪ Dub a dum dum dub a dum dub a dub a dum ♪ 1127 00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:12,320 ♪ Dub a dub a dum dum dub a dub a dum ♪ 1128 00:45:12,440 --> 00:45:14,200 ♪ Dub a dum dum dub a dub dub a dub a dum ♪ 1129 00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:15,000 ♪ Drive it Dev 1130 00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:16,600 [beatboxing] 1131 00:45:16,720 --> 00:45:19,240 ♪ For Christmas 1132 00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:20,160 [laughing] 1133 00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:21,640 It's like Carpool Karaoke! 1134 00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:22,640 I'm telling you mate! 1135 00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:23,480 Maoam, Sir? 1136 00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:25,520 Pop it in there! 1137 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:26,440 Oh we're all out. 1138 00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,000 Oh. 1139 00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:29,280 That's alright. 1140 00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,040 Well, something I didn't mention 1141 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:37,520 on the drive up out of, if I'm honest, selfishness. 1142 00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,640 Is that if you were to look in my jacket pocket, 1143 00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:43,680 you will find some yogurt covered raisins. 1144 00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:44,880 Come on! 1145 00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:46,520 I keep em in there for Emily. 1146 00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:48,160 She's a lovely, sweet girl but if she doesn't have anything 1147 00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:51,920 to eat on her she is absolute fascist! 1148 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:52,720 I mean a really-- 1149 00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:54,480 What! 1150 00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:55,400 You got me a card! 1151 00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:56,400 Don't open that! 1152 00:45:56,520 --> 00:45:57,200 -Why not! -Don't open that! 1153 00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,040 Because it's not Christmas Day yet. 1154 00:45:59,160 --> 00:45:59,800 Oh really? 1155 00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:00,880 So you've got. 1156 00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,600 Guess what, it will be in five, four! 1157 00:46:03,720 --> 00:46:04,520 -Let me let me. -Three! Two! 1158 00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:06,160 Let me give it to you tomorrow morning. 1159 00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:07,160 One! 1160 00:46:07,960 --> 00:46:09,800 Dev, we are not friends. 1161 00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:13,280 You are just the bloke who lives next door. 1162 00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:21,440 What happened is I wrote that, 1163 00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:24,960 it was late at night and I hadn't really slept much. 1164 00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:26,200 But I-- 1165 00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:30,160 There was no call from the Council was there? 1166 00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:31,120 No. 1167 00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:39,560 But like I say honestly it, that was before tonight. 1168 00:46:39,680 --> 00:46:40,680 -Yeah. -And just hanging out. 1169 00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:42,080 And you know getting to know you and the view. 1170 00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:43,800 You know Andy you know what, 1171 00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:45,720 it's completely fine I get it man. 1172 00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:46,880 It's cool honestly it's cool. 1173 00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:47,880 I'm cool. 1174 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:48,880 Yeah? 1175 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:50,320 Yeah, of course. 1176 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:51,280 Good. 1177 00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:56,120 Let's get the tunes back on yeah? 1178 00:46:56,240 --> 00:46:57,600 -Yeah. -Come on! 1179 00:47:00,320 --> 00:47:03,600 ♪ Yeah oh it's a broken hearted Christmas ♪ 1180 00:47:03,720 --> 00:47:08,560 ♪ She did me wrong wrong wrong 1181 00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:12,920 ♪ Only thing she left for me under the tree ♪ 1182 00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:15,680 ♪ Was a sad sad song 1183 00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,360 [somber music] 1184 00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:35,200 Well alright then well. 1185 00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:36,720 Thanks again for all your help with. 1186 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:38,600 Yeah yeah no problem. 1187 00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:42,920 And I you know when the madness of the season's over 1188 00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:45,360 we should get that drink. 1189 00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,040 100%. 1190 00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:49,080 [Andy] Merry Christmas! 1191 00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:12,000 [cheerful music] 1192 00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:23,680 Why are you dressed like a big elf? 1193 00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:25,840 It's a valid question. 1194 00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:36,920 What's wrong? 1195 00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:41,080 I can't sleep. 1196 00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:43,480 Why not? 1197 00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:49,080 Because the lights aren't on. 1198 00:48:56,080 --> 00:49:01,160 ♪ Oh I'm like a kid at Christmas ♪ 1199 00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:07,120 ♪ How I love the scent of thyme ♪ 1200 00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:09,520 ♪ Daba dum daba dum 1201 00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,760 [radio switches off] 1202 00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:17,160 [car honking] 1203 00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,360 [car honking] 1204 00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:31,880 [car honking] 1205 00:49:36,720 --> 00:49:39,920 [car honking] 1206 00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:43,440 [thoughtful music] 1207 00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:46,000 [car honking] 1208 00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:54,960 [car honking] 1209 00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:58,840 [car honking] 1210 00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:00,480 Get used to that. 1211 00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:02,280 That'll be happening all Christmas. 1212 00:50:02,400 --> 00:50:04,600 [splashing] 1213 00:50:05,720 --> 00:50:08,000 -Ho ho ho! -[flushing] 1214 00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:08,800 [festive music] 1215 00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:11,040 [skatting] 1216 00:50:12,240 --> 00:50:13,680 ♪ Jingle bells jingle bells 1217 00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:15,800 ♪ Jingle all the way 1218 00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:18,040 Everyone everyone can I have your attention please! 1219 00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:19,680 I just wanna introduce you to someone. 1220 00:50:19,800 --> 00:50:24,640 This is Dev, he lives next door, and he's my friend. 1221 00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:25,640 Oh welcome! 1222 00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:27,920 Merry Christmas Dev! 1223 00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:29,200 My jumper lights up! 1224 00:50:29,320 --> 00:50:30,680 [murmuring] 1225 00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:31,640 Join in! 1226 00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:35,520 Daddy look Sparkle Hoof wants to play! 1227 00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:37,440 Oh brilliant! 1228 00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:38,480 Dev what're you drinking? 1229 00:50:38,600 --> 00:50:40,840 I'll give have a pint of fizzy lemonade please. 1230 00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:42,480 Oh don't let him open bottle! 1231 00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:43,480 [laughing] 1232 00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:44,640 Open the bottle, fizz, lots of times. 1233 00:50:44,760 --> 00:50:48,520 ♪ Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way ♪ 1234 00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:53,280 ♪ Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh ♪ 1235 00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:59,040 ♪ We can jingle baby all the way ♪ 1236 00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:01,760 Oh god honestly it was like the most epic journey ever! 1237 00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:03,560 We were just, we were relentless! 1238 00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:07,600 We were relentless to get that Christmas toy! 1239 00:51:07,720 --> 00:51:09,640 It was a little bit like that Arnold Schwarzenegger film, 1240 00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:10,680 you know? 1241 00:51:10,800 --> 00:51:11,640 Yeah, Jingle All The Way? 1242 00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:13,000 No, Terminator Two, yeah. 1243 00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:15,120 So then we had an amazing Christmas. 1244 00:51:15,240 --> 00:51:16,720 And now we're basically best friends forever, BFFs. 1245 00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,760 [laughing] 1246 00:51:19,880 --> 00:51:21,840 I'll you what though, it sounds exhaustin'! 1247 00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:23,640 I mean what's on the cards for 2019, 1248 00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:24,680 are you putting your feet up? 1249 00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:26,160 Well we've got two weeks planned in Mauritius. 1250 00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:27,040 Have we! 1251 00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:28,160 Well you gotta let me know the dates, 1252 00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:29,560 cus I need to put time off work. 1253 00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:32,400 No, no, me and my wife and child. 1254 00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:37,560 Andy come on I'll bring my little boys as well. 1255 00:51:37,680 --> 00:51:39,200 We'll make it a big family holiday! 1256 00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:40,680 And of course Emily needs to meet Ethan. 1257 00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:42,440 Cus I mean they're probably gonna you know 1258 00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:44,240 end up getting married! [laughing] 1259 00:51:44,360 --> 00:51:45,800 Well I don't think we can assume that, can we? 1260 00:51:45,920 --> 00:51:47,080 Sure it's a bit old fashioned, 1261 00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:48,240 they'll probably just live together in sin. 1262 00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:49,240 So you know. 1263 00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:50,360 No no I just meant. 1264 00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:52,360 You know we can't be sure they're gonna hit it off. 1265 00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:54,040 Hit it off are you joking! 1266 00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:55,400 My little boy Ethan yeah? 1267 00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:58,280 He's like me, imagine me, but with no inhibition. 1268 00:51:58,400 --> 00:51:59,320 -Oh god. -Yeah. 1269 00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:00,120 [laughing] 1270 00:52:00,240 --> 00:52:04,080 ♪ To be with the girl I love 1271 00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:07,200 Well that is, it's a wonderful story. 1272 00:52:07,320 --> 00:52:09,000 Thanks ever so much for coming in. 1273 00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:11,320 Now we're off to Budleigh Salterton 1274 00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:13,440 where Gyles Brandreth has been tasting 1275 00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:15,120 the world's largest scotch egg. 1276 00:52:15,240 --> 00:52:17,280 That sounds egg-cellent. 1277 00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:19,280 [laughing] 1278 00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:20,080 Eggs! 1279 00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:21,160 No I got it. 1280 00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:22,000 -I got it, yeah. -Egg-cellent! 1281 00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:22,760 [laughing] 1282 00:52:22,880 --> 00:52:24,600 God I love this show. 1283 00:52:27,240 --> 00:52:28,040 I'll tell you what I don't care what Andy says, 1284 00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:29,640 I reckon you're better than Agent Charles. 1285 00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:33,400 I never said anything about Agent Charles, I've never. 1286 00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:34,880 I think you're the best there's ever been. 1287 00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:36,000 Including Chris Evans. 1288 00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:40,240 ["Stop the Calvary" by Joan Lewie] 1289 00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,600 ♪ Dub a dub a dum dum dub a dub a dum ♪ 1290 00:52:51,720 --> 00:52:54,360 ♪ Dub a dum dum dub a dum dub a dub a dum ♪ 1291 00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:56,600 ♪ Dub a dub a dum dum dub a dub a dum ♪ 1292 00:52:56,720 --> 00:52:59,560 ♪ Dub a dum dum dub a dub dub a dub a dum ♪ 1293 00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:03,880 ♪ Wish I was at home for Christmas ♪ 82545