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1
00:00:27,185 --> 00:00:28,686
Now
2
00:00:33,025 --> 00:00:35,693
Have you thought about what you're
going to do on the outside?
3
00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:37,320
Mmmm
4
00:00:38,238 --> 00:00:39,531
Let me put it this way.
5
00:00:39,656 --> 00:00:42,784
Once you get out,
will there be any more of these?
6
00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:45,495
No, no. I'm through.
No more.
7
00:00:45,620 --> 00:00:47,872
No more impersonations?
8
00:00:47,997 --> 00:00:50,667
No.
Enough is enough.
9
00:00:50,792 --> 00:00:52,502
I don't believe you.
10
00:00:52,627 --> 00:00:54,337
Would I lie?
11
00:00:54,462 --> 00:00:56,089
I don't think you're necessarily lying.
12
00:00:56,214 --> 00:00:59,008
I don't think you're in control
of what you do or say.
13
00:00:59,592 --> 00:01:02,179
I think you behave in complementarity.
14
00:01:02,304 --> 00:01:03,680
Okay...
15
00:01:03,805 --> 00:01:06,766
- Do you know what that means?
- No.
16
00:01:06,891 --> 00:01:09,519
That means you intuit
what another person needs,
17
00:01:09,644 --> 00:01:11,896
and then you become that need.
18
00:01:12,021 --> 00:01:16,901
Like right now, you know my job
is to diagnose your neuroses.
19
00:01:17,026 --> 00:01:20,780
"Neuroses are red,
neurosis are blue..."
20
00:01:21,364 --> 00:01:25,535
[DISTORTED INNER VOICES]: Sit down...
Gotta be tight... Shut up...
21
00:01:25,660 --> 00:01:26,869
For the first time, it's like...
22
00:01:26,994 --> 00:01:30,623
Don't cross me...
As tired as the paint on these walls.
23
00:01:30,748 --> 00:01:32,042
I'm about to suffocate.
24
00:01:32,167 --> 00:01:34,794
The Chameleon is about to confess.
25
00:01:34,919 --> 00:01:38,256
I think, therefore I scam.
26
00:01:38,381 --> 00:01:41,009
I think the air is sweet.
27
00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:43,220
I know not what I am.
28
00:01:43,345 --> 00:01:47,099
I am Chameleon Street.
29
00:01:47,682 --> 00:01:49,809
Autumn 1978.
30
00:01:49,934 --> 00:01:53,896
Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman is out,
Mork and Mindy are in.
31
00:01:54,021 --> 00:01:57,275
Platform shoes and 8-track audio tapes
are out.
32
00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,611
Weddings and Walkmans are in.
33
00:01:59,736 --> 00:02:04,157
As for my wedding, I got the whole thing
on video, you can see it later.
34
00:02:04,282 --> 00:02:06,868
As for the Walkman,
people ask me all the time,
35
00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:08,036
"What are you listening to?"
36
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:09,246
I play the classics.
37
00:02:09,371 --> 00:02:15,293
Vivaldi, Hendrix, Debussy.
Sly Stone, Sex Pistols, Ipso Facto.
38
00:02:15,418 --> 00:02:16,628
It helps relieve the boredom
39
00:02:16,753 --> 00:02:19,131
when I'm installing
burglar alarms with Curtis.
40
00:02:19,256 --> 00:02:23,218
Nice back.
You got that good hair, too.
41
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:24,636
You like what?
42
00:02:24,761 --> 00:02:27,264
I like girls with that light
complexion look.
43
00:02:27,389 --> 00:02:29,974
You're a moron.
44
00:02:30,099 --> 00:02:32,019
I can't help it.
45
00:02:32,144 --> 00:02:33,603
What, being a moron?
46
00:02:33,728 --> 00:02:36,022
Yeah, that too.
47
00:02:38,275 --> 00:02:41,569
You're the first one out there
with a dashiki talking that crap.
48
00:02:41,694 --> 00:02:43,780
CURTIS: I'm a victim.
STREET: Good hair...
49
00:02:43,905 --> 00:02:45,657
STREET: Nigga, you so brainwashed.
50
00:02:45,782 --> 00:02:48,160
- I'm a victim, brother.
- That's your problem.
51
00:02:48,285 --> 00:02:50,703
STREET: A victim.
Shit...
52
00:02:50,828 --> 00:02:52,705
CURTIS: I'm a victim of 400 years
of conditioning.
53
00:02:52,830 --> 00:02:53,831
STREET: Shut up.
54
00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:56,000
CURTIS: The "man" has programmed
my conditioning.
55
00:02:56,125 --> 00:02:56,876
Mmm-hmm.
56
00:02:57,001 --> 00:02:58,878
Even my conditioning
has been conditioned.
57
00:02:59,003 --> 00:03:00,713
[Curtis laughs]
58
00:03:00,838 --> 00:03:04,426
But you know how eventually conditioned
hair will go back to kink.
59
00:03:04,592 --> 00:03:07,970
Meaning what? Eventually you're gonna
end up dating a dark-skinned girl?
60
00:03:08,095 --> 00:03:11,558
I didn't say that.
But I would think about it.
61
00:03:11,683 --> 00:03:14,477
No, but really man, she is fine.
62
00:03:15,353 --> 00:03:16,979
[Street sighs]
63
00:03:17,146 --> 00:03:18,606
You depress me.
64
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,485
What is taking so long?
65
00:03:22,610 --> 00:03:24,154
Why don't you blow the horn?
66
00:03:24,279 --> 00:03:25,405
Yeah, right.
67
00:03:25,530 --> 00:03:27,157
And the rest of the day,
all I'm going to hear is,
68
00:03:27,282 --> 00:03:30,682
"Why d'you blow the horn like that
when I'm taking care of business?"
69
00:03:31,286 --> 00:03:35,207
You know we got somebody new
he's gonna hire.
70
00:03:35,332 --> 00:03:36,874
What, that white boy?
71
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:38,543
- Rick. Rick.
- Oh, great.
72
00:03:38,668 --> 00:03:40,044
When you meet him,
I hope you don't say:
73
00:03:40,169 --> 00:03:42,214
"Hello, white boy."
Just say, "Hello, Rick."
74
00:03:42,339 --> 00:03:44,799
Hey man, I thought this was
an all black thing.
75
00:03:44,924 --> 00:03:47,510
CURTIS: So did you all have
a honeymoon, man?
76
00:03:47,635 --> 00:03:50,847
STREET: Nah, we had a moneymoon.
77
00:03:50,972 --> 00:03:52,890
A moneymoon? What's that?
78
00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:57,520
STREET: A moneymoon is where instead
of getting your own place,
79
00:03:57,645 --> 00:04:00,357
and traveling somewhere far away,
80
00:04:00,482 --> 00:04:02,234
you stay at my parents' house
81
00:04:02,359 --> 00:04:04,861
and travel over to the mall
and open charge accounts
82
00:04:04,986 --> 00:04:07,614
with Neiman-Marcus, Bonwit-Teller
and Saks Fifth Avenue.
83
00:04:07,739 --> 00:04:10,200
CURTIS: A moneymoon!
[laughs]
84
00:04:10,325 --> 00:04:11,201
[car honking]
85
00:04:11,326 --> 00:04:13,578
Thanks for making my day.
Thank you.
86
00:04:13,703 --> 00:04:15,830
- What?
- What'd you blow the horn like that for?
87
00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:17,415
- What?
- Now...
88
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:21,294
- Man, he ain't gonna say nothing.
- Yeah, I'll bet.
89
00:04:21,419 --> 00:04:23,796
Five dollars say he don't say squat.
90
00:04:24,381 --> 00:04:26,341
Bet. You're on.
91
00:04:27,509 --> 00:04:30,970
Lay it up. Lay it up.
Lay it up.
92
00:04:31,095 --> 00:04:32,222
My money's good, punk.
93
00:04:32,347 --> 00:04:35,697
That's okay. You're gonna be askin'
me for lunch money today, buddy.
94
00:04:38,895 --> 00:04:40,313
[Street sighs]
95
00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:42,857
I need some money, Curtis.
96
00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:44,984
Yeah. Everybody needs money.
97
00:04:45,109 --> 00:04:48,321
I need some money.
98
00:04:48,446 --> 00:04:50,615
Man, there's lots of ways
to make money.
99
00:04:50,740 --> 00:04:53,368
You need to start taking advantage
of your opportunities.
100
00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:55,370
I mean, you could sell your blood.
101
00:04:56,746 --> 00:04:58,122
Sell my blood?
102
00:04:58,290 --> 00:05:00,958
Right. Eight dollars a pint.
103
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,585
Sell my blood? Man...
104
00:05:02,710 --> 00:05:03,878
The blood bank!
105
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:06,339
Sell my blood.
I'll never get that low.
106
00:05:06,464 --> 00:05:07,549
I've done it!
107
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:11,178
Like that's some criteria.
You drink Sterno.
108
00:05:11,303 --> 00:05:14,389
STREET: Working for my father's
burglar alarm company was like
109
00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:18,393
earning slave wages
in the ninth circle of hell.
110
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:21,854
We spent all our time making
cheap bets with chump change.
111
00:05:21,979 --> 00:05:27,026
I don't know who was more predictable,
the J-O-B or my D-A-D.
112
00:05:28,945 --> 00:05:30,154
Here he comes.
113
00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:32,824
Why don't you give me
the money right now?
114
00:05:32,949 --> 00:05:34,409
Watch.
115
00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:38,996
[approaching steps]
116
00:05:39,163 --> 00:05:42,763
What'd you blow the horn like that for
while I'm taking care of business?
117
00:05:44,669 --> 00:05:47,714
[bill crinkling]
118
00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:49,006
- Thank you.
- CURTIS: Yeah, right.
119
00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:52,260
STREET: I married Gabrielle
in the Spring of 1978
120
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:53,886
when the dogwood was in blossom.
121
00:05:54,011 --> 00:05:55,012
[TV in background]
122
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:57,014
STREET: Speaking about dogs,
I'd like you to meet Darlene
123
00:05:57,139 --> 00:05:58,391
my first wife.
124
00:05:58,516 --> 00:06:01,102
She was the living personification
of the question:
125
00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:03,355
"Is there life after TV?"
126
00:06:04,356 --> 00:06:06,358
[burp]
127
00:06:06,483 --> 00:06:07,900
Kiss my ass.
128
00:06:08,025 --> 00:06:11,904
STREET: All I said was,
"May I have my breakfast now, honey?"
129
00:06:12,321 --> 00:06:13,990
Kiss my ass!
130
00:06:14,115 --> 00:06:17,744
STREET: This is home video I shot
of Gabrielle rehearsing for a stage show
131
00:06:17,869 --> 00:06:20,747
put on by Delta Theta Sigma.
132
00:06:20,872 --> 00:06:24,584
That's Gabrielle. She's a Georgia peach
but we met in North Carolina
133
00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:26,210
on Bennett's campus.
134
00:06:27,879 --> 00:06:30,047
Gabrielle had fine assets.
135
00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:33,593
Assets that Darlene couldn't even
begin to approximate.
136
00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,846
For one thing, she was a reader,
and so was I.
137
00:06:38,097 --> 00:06:42,101
And sexually, Gabrielle was responsive
with a capital 'R'.
138
00:06:42,226 --> 00:06:46,063
A girl who reads Gwendolyn Brooks
and kisses me like Soulmate #1
139
00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:48,941
deserves to be my significant other.
140
00:06:52,987 --> 00:06:56,157
So anyway, the 70s ended
with the deadly D's:
141
00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:59,869
Divorce from Darlene,
Debt and Depression.
142
00:06:59,994 --> 00:07:02,914
Two years later,
the 80's didn't look much better.
143
00:07:03,039 --> 00:07:07,460
Still living at home with my parents,
still listening to my brother Darren
144
00:07:07,585 --> 00:07:09,462
chew his food too loud.
145
00:07:09,587 --> 00:07:11,714
You see, Darren thinks he's a comedian.
146
00:07:11,839 --> 00:07:15,384
He's about as funny as the last scream
for help at Armageddon.
147
00:07:15,552 --> 00:07:17,762
Stop chewing so loud.
148
00:07:18,345 --> 00:07:21,349
Now you see, I asked him very politely
not to chew his food too loud.
149
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:22,725
Listen.
150
00:07:22,850 --> 00:07:26,396
[loud chewing noises]
151
00:07:26,521 --> 00:07:27,897
Get a job at a gas station.
152
00:07:28,022 --> 00:07:29,566
Shut up, man.
153
00:07:29,691 --> 00:07:32,652
I'm gonna sneeze!
154
00:07:38,115 --> 00:07:39,826
[laughs]
Very funny.
155
00:07:42,454 --> 00:07:45,206
[children playing outside]
156
00:07:46,791 --> 00:07:49,794
[laughs]
157
00:07:49,961 --> 00:07:52,964
STREET: But as different as they were,
both Gabrielle and Darlene
158
00:07:53,089 --> 00:07:55,883
sent me to work every morning
with the same message:
159
00:07:56,008 --> 00:07:58,135
- Make some money.
- What?
160
00:07:58,302 --> 00:08:00,137
Make some money.
161
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:03,891
Okay.
162
00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:07,144
[train clacking on tracks]
163
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:08,855
[van screeching to a halt]
164
00:08:12,066 --> 00:08:13,776
Hey, you guys, this should be a gas.
165
00:08:13,901 --> 00:08:15,403
We've got seven rooms in here to wire.
166
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:17,405
RICK: Pretty cool
STREET: A gas.
167
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:19,366
C'mon, Curtis.
168
00:08:19,491 --> 00:08:22,034
CURTIS: Great. All the white boys
in the world,
169
00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:24,662
and your Daddy has to pick
the most happiest.
170
00:08:26,789 --> 00:08:29,792
RICK: Hey, the door, man.
[door slams]
171
00:08:30,627 --> 00:08:32,419
This is boring.
172
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,298
This is boring!
173
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,051
MAN: Throw your dollars down here.
174
00:08:39,176 --> 00:08:40,512
[glass put down hard on table]
STREET: Shit!
175
00:08:40,637 --> 00:08:43,515
MAN: Yup. That's my money.
You're gonna owe me four more dollars.
176
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:44,766
[loud laugh]
177
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:45,975
MAN: Give me some money.
STREET: What a minute,
178
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:47,101
let me try it again.
179
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:48,853
CURTIS: C'mon, man.
MAN: Double or nothing.
180
00:08:48,978 --> 00:08:51,773
CURTIS: $10 man, c'mon.
MAN: Double or nothing, here.
181
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:53,983
CURTIS: Set it up.
MAN: There's five, right there.
182
00:08:54,108 --> 00:08:55,402
Just get your four dollars out.
183
00:08:55,527 --> 00:08:57,945
C'mon, c'mon, you can do it, baby.
184
00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,989
It's your world, it's your world baby
c'mon, c'mon.
185
00:09:00,114 --> 00:09:01,533
Get me five more dollars
together, y'all.
186
00:09:01,658 --> 00:09:03,200
C'mon baby, you can do it,
you can do it!
187
00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:05,953
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Alright!
188
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,580
[cheers]
189
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:09,916
STREET: In those days, home awayfrom home was right here,
190
00:09:10,041 --> 00:09:12,419
at the Trio.
We'd sit around and discuss
191
00:09:12,544 --> 00:09:14,754
all the things dissatisfied brothers
would discuss,
192
00:09:14,879 --> 00:09:15,922
mainly money.
193
00:09:16,047 --> 00:09:18,508
[ringing of cash register]
Sam has a better understanding
194
00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:20,092
of computers than I do.
195
00:09:20,217 --> 00:09:22,554
- Cause you got a computer, right?
- I got a calculator.
196
00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:25,014
- [Curtis snorts]
- Oh, shut up, Curtis.
197
00:09:25,139 --> 00:09:26,724
It's really very simple, man.
198
00:09:26,849 --> 00:09:28,643
Well, why haven't you done it then?
199
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:31,438
- Because I don't have a job.
- But we all know that.
200
00:09:31,563 --> 00:09:33,898
This'll work man, it's got to work.
201
00:09:34,023 --> 00:09:37,444
Okay. They send the checks
to a clearinghouse.
202
00:09:37,569 --> 00:09:40,237
Check the checks to make sure
that they check.
203
00:09:40,362 --> 00:09:41,573
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
204
00:09:41,698 --> 00:09:43,783
What do you mean, check the checks?
Sounds like a nursery rhyme.
205
00:09:43,908 --> 00:09:45,326
Wait, wait.
206
00:09:46,202 --> 00:09:49,080
So when you put that little
pinhole prick in there,
207
00:09:49,205 --> 00:09:50,832
you know they have to be sorted
electronically, right?
208
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,166
Right.
209
00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:54,669
Those optical characters
at the bottom of the check.
210
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:58,214
You put a little pinhole prick in there,
the computer can't read it.
211
00:09:58,339 --> 00:09:59,757
So it kicks it back out.
212
00:09:59,882 --> 00:10:01,258
SAM: A pinhole-prick, right?
213
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:04,261
Pinhole-prick.
Yes.
214
00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:07,348
- Yeah?
- It's really basic.
215
00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:10,184
- Yeah?
- Just like you. Simple.
216
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:11,728
Have you done it before?
217
00:10:11,853 --> 00:10:13,646
For the past three years.
218
00:10:13,771 --> 00:10:15,356
SAM: You said that last time.
219
00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:16,608
Been working like a charm.
220
00:10:16,733 --> 00:10:17,942
Then why you wearing those clothes?
221
00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:20,277
- And how come you ain't got no money?
- This is my brother's coat.
222
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:21,445
Why don't you buy some beer?
223
00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:23,906
- CURTIS: Why don't you buy everybody...
- It's your turn.
224
00:10:24,031 --> 00:10:25,992
[train clacking across tracks]
225
00:10:26,117 --> 00:10:27,619
Man, we need some money.
226
00:10:28,911 --> 00:10:30,913
[train clacking across tracks]
227
00:10:31,038 --> 00:10:33,583
[package landing on table]
228
00:10:33,708 --> 00:10:36,085
A kilo of weed of month, okay?
229
00:10:36,210 --> 00:10:39,421
You get rid of thirty ounces.
That'll be $300.
230
00:10:40,089 --> 00:10:44,260
You take 125 right off the top.
That's yours.
231
00:10:44,385 --> 00:10:48,014
Plus... plus...
you can nickel and dime, man,
232
00:10:48,139 --> 00:10:51,475
you can nickel and dime
any miscellaneous buds you may have.
233
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,396
All that is pure profit for you too.
234
00:10:55,521 --> 00:10:57,398
One thing, though.
235
00:10:58,315 --> 00:11:03,571
Keep in mind that this
is strictly business, okay?
236
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:05,865
You come to me, you say you
wanna make some money.
237
00:11:05,990 --> 00:11:09,118
This is it.
This is your chance.
238
00:11:09,952 --> 00:11:14,081
The question is,
what do you want to do?
239
00:11:14,206 --> 00:11:15,875
STREET: I don't know.
240
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,335
I mean, thinking from a theoretical
point of view,
241
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:22,339
the question is, do I have to deal
drugs in order to make money?
242
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:26,302
Wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute.
243
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,262
Look...
244
00:11:28,429 --> 00:11:30,765
Do you want to philosophize
about this brother?
245
00:11:30,932 --> 00:11:34,643
Huh? Or do you want to make
some money.
246
00:11:34,811 --> 00:11:38,064
Make some money.
Mon-ey.
247
00:11:39,023 --> 00:11:41,358
STREET: I had met Detroit Tiger
Willie Horton socially
248
00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:42,944
and he'd been very nice to me.
249
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:45,780
My ex-high school associates wanted
to make use of the connection.
250
00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:48,115
For how much?
251
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,534
20.
25.000.
252
00:11:50,659 --> 00:11:53,204
SAM: [laughs]
You all are talking stupid.
253
00:11:53,329 --> 00:11:58,960
Now you, I can understand.
But Errol, how you get so stupid?
254
00:11:59,168 --> 00:12:02,338
Duhh... I take stupid pills.
255
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:04,631
[cackling laugh]
256
00:12:04,799 --> 00:12:07,384
SAM: You can write the company back
and tell them they work, stupid.
257
00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:12,056
Can't write. Too stupid!
[laughs]
258
00:12:15,476 --> 00:12:21,273
STREET:
Twenty... five... thousand... dollars.
259
00:12:21,398 --> 00:12:25,236
$50.000.
They got the money.
260
00:12:25,361 --> 00:12:28,114
- You know they got it.
- You know they got the money.
261
00:12:32,201 --> 00:12:35,537
STREET: And...
who's gonna write the note?
262
00:12:36,413 --> 00:12:39,876
ERROLL: A-hem.
[exhales]
263
00:12:40,001 --> 00:12:42,211
SAM: You can count me out.
264
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,177
CURTIS:
You're the one with the words, bro.
265
00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:53,514
That's right. You know my spellin'
be off sometimes.
266
00:12:54,681 --> 00:12:56,600
STREET:
You know how to spell extortion?
267
00:12:56,725 --> 00:13:00,647
- Yeah, why?
- Can you do it, is the question.
268
00:13:00,772 --> 00:13:03,399
C'mon Get a paper for this, man.
269
00:13:03,524 --> 00:13:06,068
C'mon. I'll even drive you up there.
270
00:13:06,652 --> 00:13:08,570
SAM: Drive.
271
00:13:08,737 --> 00:13:10,239
Use your car, Sam.
272
00:13:10,739 --> 00:13:12,366
[door closing]
273
00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:24,295
C'mon. Let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go.
274
00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:25,713
- Let's go!
- Let's go!
275
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:28,090
[car backfires]
[tires screech]
276
00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:31,719
No, let's just stay here.
[engine tries to turn over]
277
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:35,556
Relax. Let's just camp out here.
[engine keeps trying to turn over]
278
00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:38,475
STREET: To this very day,
people ask me why I did I send a copy
279
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:42,271
of the letter to the Detroit Free Press
and the Flint Journal for publication.
280
00:13:42,396 --> 00:13:43,773
Dear Mrs. Horton,
281
00:13:43,898 --> 00:13:46,943
We have some photographs
of your husband doing acts
282
00:13:47,068 --> 00:13:49,028
with several different women.
283
00:13:49,153 --> 00:13:54,325
We will not release this to the press
if you pay $50.000 to us,
284
00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:57,078
before banking hours close today.
285
00:13:57,203 --> 00:13:59,663
Go with this man and give him the money
286
00:13:59,788 --> 00:14:01,415
and nothing will happen.
287
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,628
Signed, Doug Street.
288
00:14:09,256 --> 00:14:11,217
STREET: Okay, first of all, I had
nothing to do
289
00:14:11,342 --> 00:14:13,177
with the note appearing
in the Detroit Free Press
290
00:14:13,302 --> 00:14:15,012
of the Flint Journal.
It was Curtis.
291
00:14:15,137 --> 00:14:16,430
Or should I say, "Judas."
292
00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:19,976
CURTIS: That's right.
It was a publicity move.
293
00:14:20,434 --> 00:14:22,854
I signed Doug's name and I was
going to sign mine,
294
00:14:22,979 --> 00:14:26,379
but I thought it was more effective
coming from one person, you know?
295
00:14:28,901 --> 00:14:31,570
STREET: The press adopted me
as a kind of media mascot
296
00:14:31,695 --> 00:14:32,571
for a few days.
297
00:14:32,696 --> 00:14:34,907
REPORTER: How does you wife
feel about your escapades?
298
00:14:35,032 --> 00:14:38,327
[knowing laughter among reporters]
299
00:14:38,452 --> 00:14:39,954
I haven't talked to her yet.
300
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:41,080
No you haven't.
301
00:14:41,205 --> 00:14:43,374
STREET: Gabrielle was not pleased.
302
00:14:43,499 --> 00:14:45,001
[reporters' overlapping questions]
303
00:14:45,126 --> 00:14:47,461
But I was getting into it.
304
00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:49,881
After that letter to the Free Press,
I leaked to the media
305
00:14:50,006 --> 00:14:52,674
and that the whole extortion thing
was a means to an end,
306
00:14:52,799 --> 00:14:56,399
that what I really wanted all along
was a tryout with the Detroit Tigers.
307
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,681
I was even interviewed by the Barber
twins, Denny and Dave.
308
00:14:59,806 --> 00:15:01,934
Denny covered sports for Channel 59,
309
00:15:02,059 --> 00:15:05,980
while brother Dave's Open Forum
on Channel 4 handled the big issues.
310
00:15:06,147 --> 00:15:08,690
From all the reports, you certainly
311
00:15:08,815 --> 00:15:11,778
seemed to impress the Tigers.
Have you heard from the front office?
312
00:15:11,903 --> 00:15:14,155
Anybody in Tiger
management been in touch with you?
313
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,408
- You mean about a tryout?
- A tryout, a real tryout.
314
00:15:17,533 --> 00:15:18,993
Uh, no, no, not yet.
315
00:15:19,118 --> 00:15:24,832
- Do you think maybe they will?
- Uh, no, no, not really.
316
00:15:24,957 --> 00:15:26,625
Well, I'll tell you what Doug Street,
317
00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:28,210
you've certainly got a lot of moxie
318
00:15:28,335 --> 00:15:30,046
and I hope things
definitely work out for you.
319
00:15:30,171 --> 00:15:31,338
- Moxie?
- Moxie.
320
00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:32,673
- What's that?
- I, I don't know.
321
00:15:32,798 --> 00:15:35,759
My producer gave me the word
and I just tried to slip it
322
00:15:35,884 --> 00:15:37,386
into the the program.
323
00:15:37,511 --> 00:15:38,805
Is that like having garlic
on your breath?
324
00:15:38,930 --> 00:15:41,432
I'll tell you what,
anybody that could pull off
325
00:15:41,557 --> 00:15:45,102
a stunt like this obviously has
a lot of determination and drive,
326
00:15:45,227 --> 00:15:47,229
and I think they deserve a chance.
327
00:15:47,396 --> 00:15:48,896
This has been the Barber Beat.
328
00:15:50,774 --> 00:15:53,152
[cheesy theme music]
Whoo!
329
00:15:53,277 --> 00:15:56,405
Boy. The seat got hot.
You know, Willie Horton?
330
00:15:56,530 --> 00:16:00,952
Personally, and I know him to be
a very understanding individual.
331
00:16:01,535 --> 00:16:04,621
Let's get another record
straight while we're talking about
332
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:07,124
Mr. Horton.
You never had photographs,
333
00:16:07,249 --> 00:16:10,086
Polaroid photographs
of Willie Horton with girls, did you?
334
00:16:10,211 --> 00:16:12,588
To get the record straight,
that record...
335
00:16:12,713 --> 00:16:13,965
Did you?
336
00:16:14,590 --> 00:16:15,799
I beg your pardon?
337
00:16:15,924 --> 00:16:19,303
You never had Polaroid pictures
of Willie Horton with girls, did you?
338
00:16:19,428 --> 00:16:20,554
No, no.
339
00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:24,433
In fact, had you ever witnessed Willie
Horton cavorting with other women?
340
00:16:24,558 --> 00:16:27,353
- No, no.
- Then why?
341
00:16:27,478 --> 00:16:29,105
Please tell me why
342
00:16:29,230 --> 00:16:35,819
would you concoct such a licentious,
lowdown, loathsome lie?
343
00:16:35,944 --> 00:16:40,074
My objective...
My objective was to...
344
00:16:41,908 --> 00:16:44,578
present Mrs. Horton,
while her husband was away
345
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:51,168
with something that was so wrenching
that she would be panicked.
346
00:16:51,293 --> 00:16:53,670
I wanted to press her panic button.
347
00:16:53,795 --> 00:16:54,964
Then why...
348
00:16:55,089 --> 00:16:57,549
This is not a big expose you're doing,
349
00:16:57,674 --> 00:17:00,219
this is all a matter of public record.
350
00:17:00,344 --> 00:17:01,971
Answer this question.
Why?
351
00:17:02,096 --> 00:17:03,890
- Why, what?
- Would you concoct...
352
00:17:04,015 --> 00:17:06,058
I wanted to get the money.
353
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:07,434
Money!
354
00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:09,436
Man, we need some money.
355
00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:10,896
For the money.
356
00:17:11,022 --> 00:17:14,233
You're a liar, aren't you, Mr Street?
357
00:17:14,358 --> 00:17:15,609
[uncomfortable cough]
358
00:17:19,155 --> 00:17:20,447
STREET:
When I got home that night,
359
00:17:20,572 --> 00:17:23,825
I found out that Gabrielle
had the real Evening News.
360
00:17:23,950 --> 00:17:25,786
I'm pregnant.
361
00:17:26,203 --> 00:17:28,539
STREET: The Willie Horton fiasco
changed my life.
362
00:17:28,664 --> 00:17:31,375
It would have changed even
more if they'd pressed charges.
363
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:32,751
You know, if it hadn't been for Curtis,
364
00:17:32,876 --> 00:17:34,962
my first escapade
would have gotten over.
365
00:17:35,087 --> 00:17:39,175
I decided to try the sports world again,
but this time as a reporter.
366
00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:40,551
From Time.
367
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:44,138
I had all her personal
statistics in the first 10 minutes.
368
00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:51,770
Height, 6'2". Weight, 165.
Feet, 13. IQ, 178.
369
00:17:52,396 --> 00:17:55,149
She and her twin sister Pam
had already carved a place
370
00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:57,359
for themselves in women's basketball.
371
00:17:57,526 --> 00:18:00,571
They'd gone to the Olympics,
been on the cover of Jet,
372
00:18:00,696 --> 00:18:04,033
and the collection of Paula's
poetry was about to be published.
373
00:18:04,158 --> 00:18:06,994
The way I figured it,
an interview with Paula McGee
374
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:10,539
could be sold
to Time magazine for $2.000.
375
00:18:17,254 --> 00:18:20,757
She was brimming over
with the four B's.
376
00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:27,556
Black, Brains, Beauty, Basketball.
377
00:18:27,681 --> 00:18:32,269
All in one delectable,
6-foot 2-inch package.
378
00:18:33,395 --> 00:18:36,482
Oh Lord I could just
rap to her like Barry White?
379
00:18:36,607 --> 00:18:37,816
[Barry White music]
380
00:18:37,941 --> 00:18:40,569
[Street imitating Barry White]: Oh,
Paula, let me pull on your pink panties.
381
00:18:40,694 --> 00:18:42,738
And baby, your pert pagodas perched
382
00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:45,282
like two firm pears in my fruit salad.
383
00:18:45,407 --> 00:18:47,326
Got that maraschino cherry, baby.
384
00:18:47,451 --> 00:18:51,955
They peek at me so prettily from
underneath your polyester Givenchy.
385
00:18:52,956 --> 00:18:57,169
I began to suddenly steer
the conversation into her personal life.
386
00:18:57,294 --> 00:19:00,506
Of course, the key word is subtle.
387
00:19:00,631 --> 00:19:02,841
Have you ever had an orgasm?
388
00:19:03,217 --> 00:19:05,427
What's that have to do
with the cover story?
389
00:19:06,762 --> 00:19:10,307
Well, you know, the big picture.
390
00:19:12,976 --> 00:19:15,729
Oh, oh well, it's funny you should
bring that up
391
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:18,440
because just the other day
I was talking to a friend of mine
392
00:19:18,565 --> 00:19:22,778
about how women fake orgasms,
and I think that's crazy.
393
00:19:22,903 --> 00:19:24,155
Yeah.
394
00:19:26,157 --> 00:19:28,909
I love the haiku form.
It's so...
395
00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:30,452
pure.
396
00:19:30,577 --> 00:19:33,372
STREET: Paula had told her secretary
Melissa to hold all appointments.
397
00:19:33,497 --> 00:19:35,081
This one's called, "Feet."
398
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,879
Your feet stink, your mind is rank,
399
00:19:41,004 --> 00:19:44,550
I hate the way,
you're shaped like a tank.
400
00:19:49,137 --> 00:19:50,639
What do you think?
401
00:19:55,727 --> 00:19:57,646
Mmnh.
402
00:19:57,813 --> 00:19:59,273
Maybe you should stop the tape?
403
00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:00,607
Why?
404
00:20:00,732 --> 00:20:03,860
Because I don't want to sound
like I'm desperate, because I'm not.
405
00:20:03,985 --> 00:20:08,615
- [laughs] Maybe you are.
- No.
406
00:20:08,740 --> 00:20:11,202
Even though I don't go
on the "Love Connection."
407
00:20:11,327 --> 00:20:14,330
That date...
that TV dating game show?
408
00:20:14,455 --> 00:20:15,664
Yeah.
409
00:20:15,789 --> 00:20:18,834
But then I said if I go on the show,
and I say the reason I'm here basically
410
00:20:18,959 --> 00:20:20,794
is because I don't have
anybody to date,
411
00:20:20,919 --> 00:20:22,504
then it looks like I'm desperate.
412
00:20:22,629 --> 00:20:25,299
- No, it doesn't.
- Yes. It does.
413
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:29,511
I eat chitlins.
The chitlins eat me.
414
00:20:30,346 --> 00:20:32,306
Get me a stomach pump.
415
00:20:35,684 --> 00:20:37,644
So what do you think?
416
00:20:37,769 --> 00:20:39,771
STREET: I don't believe this.
417
00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:44,985
Here she is with the world at her feet,
and she can't find a decent guy to date?
418
00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:47,070
Un-hunh, something's wrong.
419
00:20:47,195 --> 00:20:49,072
After three hours I begin to fantasize
420
00:20:49,197 --> 00:20:51,074
about this extraordinary woman.
421
00:20:51,242 --> 00:20:57,248
In another age, she would have been
a warrior goddess, an African amazon.
422
00:20:57,414 --> 00:21:01,001
Go on and Serengeti me, baby.
423
00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:02,378
[telephone rings]
424
00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:07,090
I got something I need you to see.
425
00:21:08,717 --> 00:21:10,386
I need you to come out here.
426
00:21:12,304 --> 00:21:13,555
Right?
427
00:21:14,473 --> 00:21:18,059
Paula excused herself
and I sat there and sat there
428
00:21:18,184 --> 00:21:20,771
and sat there, blowing smoke rings.
429
00:21:20,896 --> 00:21:26,610
I had misspelled the word "write,"
and whatchamacallher, Melissa,
430
00:21:26,735 --> 00:21:29,613
who wrote such dumbass poetry,
431
00:21:29,738 --> 00:21:31,698
she was smart enough
to call Time headquarters
432
00:21:31,823 --> 00:21:33,867
and ask for a personnel confirmation.
433
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,620
When I married you,
I didn't think you were stupid.
434
00:21:36,745 --> 00:21:41,124
I can't stand stupid men.
I can't stand stupid people, period.
435
00:21:41,249 --> 00:21:44,878
Only a moron would send
a letter with the misspelling like that.
436
00:21:45,045 --> 00:21:48,048
Did you watch your soap operas today?
437
00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:50,091
And see,
you're cutting into my soap time
438
00:21:50,216 --> 00:21:51,218
and I don't allow that.
439
00:21:51,343 --> 00:21:55,389
- Which one did you want?
- Which do you think? Erica, of course.
440
00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:59,225
- Susan Lucci, Susan Lucci!
- "Susan Lucci, Susan Lucci."
441
00:22:01,227 --> 00:22:03,855
I don't know why you waste
your time watching that stuff.
442
00:22:03,980 --> 00:22:05,274
Well, they make about as much sense
443
00:22:05,399 --> 00:22:07,568
as telling people
one lie after another.
444
00:22:07,984 --> 00:22:11,197
I took her to a restaurant
so she would stop pouting.
445
00:22:11,322 --> 00:22:15,451
Babe loves to pout.
She's the Pouting Princess.
446
00:22:15,867 --> 00:22:20,372
- [garbled] I hate asparagus...
- What?
447
00:22:20,497 --> 00:22:22,583
I said I hate asparagus
448
00:22:22,708 --> 00:22:26,253
- that tastes like leather.
- You just don't like vegetables.
449
00:22:26,378 --> 00:22:31,925
- That's not true. I married you.
- And I married you, Mr. Potatohead.
450
00:22:34,845 --> 00:22:36,305
- You know, honey?
- Mmh?
451
00:22:36,430 --> 00:22:38,765
I've been thinking you could enroll
at the University of Michigan
452
00:22:38,890 --> 00:22:40,141
and study medicine.
453
00:22:40,308 --> 00:22:42,394
Hm you've been thinking,
that's dangerous.
454
00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:44,521
You'd like to be a doctor's wife,
wouldn't you?
455
00:22:44,646 --> 00:22:46,732
Yes, you take care of the patients
456
00:22:46,857 --> 00:22:48,359
and then I'll take care of the pennies.
457
00:22:48,484 --> 00:22:51,653
What pennies? Neiman-Marcus
takes care of all our pennies.
458
00:22:51,778 --> 00:22:56,157
- Or Bonwit-Teller.
- Yes or Saks 5th Avenue.
459
00:22:58,660 --> 00:22:59,911
You want another beer?
460
00:23:00,036 --> 00:23:01,913
No, I'm fine.
461
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:07,544
You are extremely fine
and you know it too, don't you?
462
00:23:09,588 --> 00:23:11,632
[kissing sound]
463
00:23:11,882 --> 00:23:13,091
[burp]
464
00:23:13,216 --> 00:23:15,469
Ah, excuse me, Miss?
465
00:23:20,056 --> 00:23:25,521
I would like another Michelob Light.
And... you want anything else?
466
00:23:25,687 --> 00:23:27,731
Yes.
Two pieces of pecan pie, please.
467
00:23:27,898 --> 00:23:29,358
Two?
468
00:23:29,483 --> 00:23:31,234
Will there be anything else?
469
00:23:31,485 --> 00:23:35,364
She also wants one lifetime charge
account at Lane Bryant.
470
00:23:35,489 --> 00:23:37,365
Yes, thank you.
471
00:23:39,242 --> 00:23:41,453
I thought you were
gonna watch your figure.
472
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:45,248
I am.
Watch it get big.
473
00:23:45,832 --> 00:23:47,584
You know when you really
think about it,
474
00:23:47,709 --> 00:23:49,545
you're the one responsible
for my overeating.
475
00:23:49,670 --> 00:23:51,129
- What?
- You put me under a lot of strain
476
00:23:51,254 --> 00:23:52,654
with what you've been doing.
477
00:23:53,590 --> 00:23:55,759
Mmh, well, you know if I'd wanted
to marry
478
00:23:55,884 --> 00:24:01,640
a big, fat, greasy, chocolate,
donut-eating, Hostess Cupcake Twinkie
479
00:24:01,765 --> 00:24:05,561
lard-elbowed woman,
I could have married Joy.
480
00:24:05,686 --> 00:24:07,938
If I ever got that big, there's just
481
00:24:08,063 --> 00:24:10,941
- more of me to love.
- More of me to love.
482
00:24:11,066 --> 00:24:12,943
- Alright.
- Well?
483
00:24:13,068 --> 00:24:16,988
Baby, I would divorce you so quick
your head would spin.
484
00:24:17,113 --> 00:24:20,158
- You wouldn't.
- Mhm-hnh.
485
00:24:20,283 --> 00:24:22,536
Would you really?
486
00:24:22,661 --> 00:24:26,457
Well, why don't you
put on 50 pounds and find out?
487
00:24:27,833 --> 00:24:29,292
You're awful.
488
00:24:29,417 --> 00:24:30,627
I live and learn.
489
00:24:30,752 --> 00:24:33,755
One Michelob Light, and two pieces
of the pecan pie.
490
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:35,841
- Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.
491
00:24:41,763 --> 00:24:43,431
Excuse me.
492
00:24:43,599 --> 00:24:46,059
But I was just sitting
over there admiring your dress.
493
00:24:46,184 --> 00:24:46,935
Thank you.
494
00:24:47,102 --> 00:24:49,730
It's nice to see
some class in this dump.
495
00:24:54,234 --> 00:24:56,903
Don't you know Michelob
is for white man?
496
00:24:57,028 --> 00:25:00,156
And you know that the white
man runs this world?
497
00:25:00,281 --> 00:25:02,576
Is that what it says on the label?
498
00:25:02,701 --> 00:25:05,203
- How much?
- How much what?
499
00:25:05,662 --> 00:25:08,373
"How much what?" Come on.
Cut the comedy.
500
00:25:08,540 --> 00:25:10,333
Bitch is fine.
501
00:25:12,335 --> 00:25:15,797
And I'm willing to pay through the nose
when the ass has got class.
502
00:25:15,922 --> 00:25:18,925
Hot honey, come on,
take a drink here, come on.
503
00:25:19,050 --> 00:25:21,553
You know what I mean?
Porch monkey?
504
00:25:22,888 --> 00:25:26,475
You did say "more funky." That is
what he said, isn't it? "More funky?"
505
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:30,937
Not porch monkey, more funky. Hey!
What don't you get around... okay?
506
00:25:31,062 --> 00:25:32,731
What are you, crazy?
507
00:25:32,856 --> 00:25:35,901
Nigger. Get your nasty
black hands off of me.
508
00:25:36,026 --> 00:25:37,736
He thinks he can just like
come in here and–
509
00:25:37,861 --> 00:25:38,904
Fucking let go!
510
00:25:39,029 --> 00:25:40,155
[gasp]
511
00:25:45,285 --> 00:25:48,914
You know that's a very nasty word,
but what's really,
512
00:25:49,039 --> 00:25:52,584
pardon the expression,
fucked up, is your grammar.
513
00:25:52,834 --> 00:25:54,335
"Fucking let go."
514
00:25:54,460 --> 00:25:57,923
You can't say that.
You know, the rules of grammar
515
00:25:58,048 --> 00:25:59,883
apply to profanity as well.
516
00:26:00,383 --> 00:26:03,094
The word "fuck"
comes from the German root,
517
00:26:03,219 --> 00:26:06,181
"ficken," which means to strike.
518
00:26:07,098 --> 00:26:09,476
It's a verb and
can be used in a variety of ways,
519
00:26:09,601 --> 00:26:11,520
both transitive and intransitive.
520
00:26:11,645 --> 00:26:16,316
For example, simple aggression.
"Fuck you!"
521
00:26:16,441 --> 00:26:17,651
Or simple confusion.
522
00:26:17,776 --> 00:26:20,862
"What the fuck is going on here?"
And then there's apathy.
523
00:26:20,987 --> 00:26:22,989
"Who gives a fuck?"
524
00:26:23,114 --> 00:26:26,493
And then there's ignorance, which is
very appropriate for you. "Doh!"
525
00:26:26,618 --> 00:26:28,495
Marty.
Call the police.
526
00:26:28,620 --> 00:26:29,830
I can deal with this asshole!
527
00:26:29,955 --> 00:26:32,165
Yeah yeah, sure, defiance,
"the fuck you can."
528
00:26:32,290 --> 00:26:33,500
I ain't gonna take this shit from you!
529
00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:35,586
Authority!
"Shut the fuck up."
530
00:26:35,711 --> 00:26:37,879
And you can say it four
different ways: "shut the fuck up,"
531
00:26:38,004 --> 00:26:40,924
"shut the fuck up,"
"shut the fuck up," "shut the fuck up."
532
00:26:41,049 --> 00:26:42,634
See these are all the things
you could have said
533
00:26:42,759 --> 00:26:43,719
if you weren't so
534
00:26:43,844 --> 00:26:47,639
unbelievably coarse and crude
and countrified.
535
00:26:47,764 --> 00:26:49,515
That's alliteration, babe.
536
00:26:50,141 --> 00:26:51,893
And remember, peckerwood.
537
00:26:52,728 --> 00:26:55,230
Profanity is the last
refuge of the ignorant,
538
00:26:55,355 --> 00:26:57,190
the insensitive and the illiterate.
539
00:26:57,315 --> 00:26:59,275
But if you're going to use it,
and I can see you are
540
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,320
at least get the fucking
grammar right, moron.
541
00:27:02,445 --> 00:27:03,655
[smack]
[crowd gasp] [fist hit]
542
00:27:03,780 --> 00:27:05,198
MAN: Let's see your muscles
instead of your mouth.
543
00:27:05,323 --> 00:27:07,158
Come on boy!
Get up!
544
00:27:07,283 --> 00:27:09,119
STREET: Instant replay.
545
00:27:09,244 --> 00:27:10,829
Dumb broad asked me the other day,
546
00:27:10,954 --> 00:27:13,582
"why didn't you punch out
that peckerwood?"
547
00:27:13,707 --> 00:27:18,003
I said: "Because I was unconscious,
you extremely stupid bitch."
548
00:27:18,128 --> 00:27:19,462
[train clacking on tracks]
549
00:27:20,046 --> 00:27:22,674
I had so many bruises on my face,
550
00:27:22,841 --> 00:27:26,219
for my next role,
I had to use a little bit of makeup.
551
00:27:28,138 --> 00:27:31,808
Gabriel drove me to the hospital
and it was in the hospital
552
00:27:31,933 --> 00:27:35,478
that one of my ideas
was pushed over the edge.
553
00:27:38,273 --> 00:27:41,902
Let me be perfectly honest with you.
554
00:27:42,736 --> 00:27:46,031
Your credentials are
just too amazing to believe.
555
00:27:48,533 --> 00:27:50,451
You know this is the first
time we've ever had an intern
556
00:27:50,576 --> 00:27:54,247
transfer here from Harvard Med.
It's quite an honor.
557
00:27:55,666 --> 00:27:57,834
I considered Harvard myself.
558
00:27:59,795 --> 00:28:01,004
Listen.
559
00:28:01,129 --> 00:28:03,924
Why don't I explain how
the transitional internship works?
560
00:28:04,049 --> 00:28:06,092
Then we can give
you a little tour of the hospital.
561
00:28:06,217 --> 00:28:09,805
You can meet some of the other
residents and see what you think.
562
00:28:11,306 --> 00:28:13,642
Yeah, that sounds fine.
563
00:28:13,767 --> 00:28:18,396
I'll just finish this.
There.
564
00:28:26,571 --> 00:28:30,033
Doctor Street, I'd like for you
to meet Doctor Doris McCully.
565
00:28:30,158 --> 00:28:31,117
How do you do?
566
00:28:31,242 --> 00:28:33,203
I was really amazed at the way
doctors are treated.
567
00:28:33,328 --> 00:28:35,288
Everybody is always glad to see you.
568
00:28:35,413 --> 00:28:38,792
Everybody always listens
to every word and best of all,
569
00:28:38,917 --> 00:28:40,418
everybody laughs at your jokes.
570
00:28:40,543 --> 00:28:44,005
The intern knows all but does nothing.
571
00:28:44,672 --> 00:28:48,426
Now the surgeon knows nothing,
but does it all.
572
00:28:48,634 --> 00:28:53,014
And the pathologist knows everything.
But it's too late.
573
00:28:53,139 --> 00:28:54,349
[laughter]
574
00:28:54,474 --> 00:28:56,768
RESIDENT:
T-max was 102.4 degrees last night.
575
00:28:56,893 --> 00:28:58,729
Alright, let's keep an eye
on that temp today
576
00:28:58,854 --> 00:29:00,772
and get that ultrasound
done this morning.
577
00:29:00,897 --> 00:29:03,441
She could have anything
from hepatitis to a hot gallbladder.
578
00:29:03,566 --> 00:29:04,985
[hospital loudspeaker paging doctor]
579
00:29:05,110 --> 00:29:06,361
Have the surgeons felt her belly yet?
580
00:29:06,486 --> 00:29:09,322
No, in fact, they haven't consulted
anyone. ER admitted her directly
581
00:29:09,447 --> 00:29:12,325
to the floor this morning, 'cause she's
one of Doctor Callis' private patients.
582
00:29:12,450 --> 00:29:13,869
DOCTOR:
Fine, I'll talk to Callis.
583
00:29:13,994 --> 00:29:16,454
In the meantime,
let's get some information on this one.
584
00:29:16,579 --> 00:29:18,957
Alright, that's it.
Let's go get some breakfast.
585
00:29:20,834 --> 00:29:24,796
[organ music]
586
00:29:24,921 --> 00:29:29,342
It was too easy.
It was too easy.
587
00:29:29,801 --> 00:29:31,511
Maybe you're asking yourself,
588
00:29:31,636 --> 00:29:33,930
"Well, how could he
continue to operate in Detroit
589
00:29:34,055 --> 00:29:36,349
after he'd been exposed
on TV and all?"
590
00:29:36,474 --> 00:29:37,893
Answer's very simple.
591
00:29:38,018 --> 00:29:39,227
People forget.
592
00:29:39,352 --> 00:29:41,730
Of course,
your wife ain't exactly "people,"
593
00:29:41,855 --> 00:29:48,069
and my relationship now with Gabrielle
was an intricate cobweb of lies.
594
00:29:48,194 --> 00:29:50,781
You mess with one, they all jiggle.
595
00:29:51,197 --> 00:29:55,326
She believed I was a bona fide student
of medicine enrolled at Wayne State.
596
00:29:55,576 --> 00:30:00,331
She loved me and where love leads,
belief must follow.
597
00:30:00,623 --> 00:30:03,334
After all, we've got to believe
the ones we love.
598
00:30:03,459 --> 00:30:08,673
Let's send Mrs. Crawford down
for a chest X-ray this morning.
599
00:30:09,382 --> 00:30:13,553
And... an AP and a lateral.
600
00:30:13,678 --> 00:30:15,305
- Okay, got it.
- Okay?
601
00:30:15,721 --> 00:30:17,515
Mmh, let me see.
602
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:20,977
- Doctor Street, are you on call today?
- That's right, it's me.
603
00:30:21,102 --> 00:30:22,353
Good.
604
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:27,233
Could you look at Robertson in 41?
She's complaining of some chest pain.
605
00:30:27,358 --> 00:30:29,194
Oh.
606
00:30:29,319 --> 00:30:36,952
- Yes, yes, I... I'll, I'll be right there.
- Oh, would you like a stat EKG?
607
00:30:37,410 --> 00:30:40,080
Mnh, yes.
608
00:30:40,205 --> 00:30:45,210
Yeah, I'll take a stat EKG
and... right away.
609
00:30:45,877 --> 00:30:52,592
[suspenseful percussive music]
610
00:31:01,935 --> 00:31:03,394
You had the whole gang today.
611
00:31:03,519 --> 00:31:05,605
- You have a lovely family.
- Thank you.
612
00:31:05,730 --> 00:31:08,900
Doctor Street.
Here's the EKG.
613
00:31:09,192 --> 00:31:13,529
Looks like Mrs. Robertson
is in normal sinus rhythm.
614
00:31:14,530 --> 00:31:18,743
Mnh-hnh. Hmm.
615
00:31:21,121 --> 00:31:26,292
Hmm. Hmm.
616
00:31:29,545 --> 00:31:31,714
Now, Mrs. Robertson.
617
00:31:32,673 --> 00:31:36,928
- Tell me exactly where the pain is.
- Right here, Doctor.
618
00:31:37,053 --> 00:31:38,263
- Right there.
- Yeah.
619
00:31:38,388 --> 00:31:39,805
[murmurs]
620
00:31:39,931 --> 00:31:43,476
And have you ever
felt this kind of pain before?
621
00:31:43,935 --> 00:31:48,064
No, never.
Came on rather sudden.
622
00:31:48,189 --> 00:31:49,399
Rather sudden?
623
00:31:49,524 --> 00:31:53,111
Feels like someone
put a knife in there or something.
624
00:31:53,236 --> 00:31:55,822
- Feels like someone put a knife in you?
- Yes.
625
00:31:55,947 --> 00:31:57,740
Mmnh.
626
00:31:59,367 --> 00:32:00,911
[Velcro detaching]
627
00:32:01,036 --> 00:32:03,079
Let's just...
628
00:32:06,166 --> 00:32:11,922
Hmmh.
[heartbeats]
629
00:32:12,797 --> 00:32:15,675
Now take a deep breath.
630
00:32:16,426 --> 00:32:18,887
Ahhh!
631
00:32:19,012 --> 00:32:21,389
Lord, woman, what's wrong with you?
632
00:32:22,223 --> 00:32:25,101
Doctor, it hurts.
633
00:32:25,226 --> 00:32:29,064
[Moans]
That hurt, doctor.
634
00:32:36,154 --> 00:32:39,115
Do you see a dysrhythmia on the EKG,
Dr. Street?
635
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:43,078
Ah... Yeah.
636
00:32:44,079 --> 00:32:47,540
Yeah, you mean this EKG here, right?
Yeah.
637
00:32:47,707 --> 00:32:50,585
Yeah.
It could be abnormal.
638
00:32:50,710 --> 00:32:53,421
Apparently, the key word here
was oxygen,
639
00:32:53,546 --> 00:32:56,257
which I ordered for
Mrs. Robertson at the last minute,
640
00:32:56,632 --> 00:32:59,845
and as Doctor Hardy expressed
to me the next day over coffee,
641
00:32:59,970 --> 00:33:03,431
I was doing a very thorough
and professional job.
642
00:33:03,556 --> 00:33:05,725
[train clacking on tracks]
643
00:33:05,850 --> 00:33:09,937
I think I'll stop by just
to see how a Harvard man works.
644
00:33:10,105 --> 00:33:12,523
You know there's a rumor
circulating around here that
645
00:33:12,648 --> 00:33:16,319
when a Harvard man makes his first
incision, he doesn't use a scalpel,
646
00:33:16,444 --> 00:33:22,908
he just orders the flesh to part
and it parts like Moses and the Red Sea.
647
00:33:23,243 --> 00:33:28,164
I'll see you in O.R., 45 minutes.
You've got a hysterectomy to perform.
648
00:33:30,833 --> 00:33:35,630
STREET'S TRAIN CONDUCTOR VOICE:
All aboard to Hysterectomy
649
00:33:35,755 --> 00:33:38,133
passing through Flesh,
650
00:33:38,258 --> 00:33:45,390
Muscle, Organ, non-stop to Uterus.
All aboard.
651
00:33:46,766 --> 00:33:50,520
STREET: I had visualized myself
performing surgery many times,
652
00:33:50,645 --> 00:33:54,565
but of course, there's nothing
ever quite like the real thing.
653
00:33:54,899 --> 00:33:58,278
I don't know if any of you sitting
out there have ever cut a human being
654
00:33:58,403 --> 00:34:02,490
open before with two interns,
three nurses and the resident physician
655
00:34:02,615 --> 00:34:05,785
looking over your shoulder,
but you can take my word for it,
656
00:34:05,910 --> 00:34:08,454
it's an unforgettable experience.
657
00:34:08,579 --> 00:34:11,249
And people ask me
if I regret what happened.
658
00:34:11,374 --> 00:34:12,750
Sure, I regret it.
659
00:34:13,501 --> 00:34:18,423
06:00h. I begin to notice odd details.
I like her belly button.
660
00:34:18,548 --> 00:34:21,801
I've always felt that innies
are infinitely superior to outties,
661
00:34:21,926 --> 00:34:25,346
but on the other hand,
her stretch marks gross me out.
662
00:34:27,182 --> 00:34:29,392
- STREET: Can we begin?
- RESIDENT: Ready.
663
00:34:31,061 --> 00:34:32,312
STREET: Scalpel.
664
00:34:42,447 --> 00:34:44,407
DOCTOR: Wilson. Brady.
665
00:34:44,699 --> 00:34:49,245
I want you to note the speed
and dexterity of Doctor Street's work.
666
00:34:49,454 --> 00:34:53,624
STREET: Oh, speed and dexterity.
What time are they going to show up?
667
00:34:54,417 --> 00:34:56,001
STREET: Open.
668
00:35:00,798 --> 00:35:04,094
I can't believe the amount
of blood in this woman.
669
00:35:05,136 --> 00:35:08,639
Doctor Street has filled me in on
the latest gospel on glove wearing
670
00:35:08,764 --> 00:35:11,226
according to the powers
that be at Harvard.
671
00:35:11,892 --> 00:35:14,020
Apparently they've
discovered that surgical gloves
672
00:35:14,145 --> 00:35:17,107
are more effective if
they're worn two sizes smaller.
673
00:35:18,733 --> 00:35:21,486
- DOCTOR: Can I have the Hemostat?
- STREET: Hemostat.
674
00:35:22,737 --> 00:35:24,447
DOCTOR: Tie?
675
00:35:27,283 --> 00:35:29,076
STREET: Tie, tie.
676
00:35:34,039 --> 00:35:39,003
Why is this nurse breathing so hard?
She's freaking me out.
677
00:35:41,339 --> 00:35:43,424
Either she can tell
I don't know what I'm doing or
678
00:35:43,549 --> 00:35:45,635
the sight of blood makes her sick.
679
00:35:46,219 --> 00:35:49,054
STREET: Wipe. Wipe.
680
00:35:50,723 --> 00:35:56,812
STREET: 06:20 and counting.God, I'm drowning in my own sweat.
681
00:36:00,816 --> 00:36:03,569
I can't tell what
Doctor Hardy's thinking.
682
00:36:03,694 --> 00:36:05,446
Sometimes he looks puzzled.
683
00:36:05,571 --> 00:36:07,240
STREET: Big refractor.
684
00:36:07,365 --> 00:36:09,409
Sometimes he looks furious.
685
00:36:09,992 --> 00:36:13,704
And sometimes
he just gives me a cold stare.
686
00:36:17,917 --> 00:36:21,587
Oh Lord, I hope this sweat
doesn't make my mascara run.
687
00:36:21,712 --> 00:36:24,048
Be looking like some
kind of punk doctor.
688
00:36:24,257 --> 00:36:25,925
Wipe me.
689
00:36:26,884 --> 00:36:28,594
Alright. Now.
690
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,557
[gasps]
691
00:36:32,682 --> 00:36:35,935
- STREET: METS.
- [DOCTOR]:Suture scissors.
692
00:36:45,528 --> 00:36:48,489
DOCTOR: Alright.
Let's close. Street?
693
00:36:48,698 --> 00:36:50,658
Why don't you help Wilson
and Brady close.
694
00:36:50,783 --> 00:36:52,285
STREET: Certainly.
695
00:36:55,037 --> 00:36:59,375
And Street, after the patient
is in the recovery room,
696
00:36:59,584 --> 00:37:04,297
I want to see you in my office.
Immediately.
697
00:37:10,428 --> 00:37:14,224
Jane, before I suture this patient,
please give me size 6 1/2 gloves.
698
00:37:14,974 --> 00:37:21,021
I hardly know what to say.
This is really quite unexpected.
699
00:37:22,940 --> 00:37:25,360
But I have never
seen a resident at your level
700
00:37:25,485 --> 00:37:28,404
demonstrates that surgical
savoir faire.
701
00:37:31,366 --> 00:37:33,909
All I need now are some fuchsia pots.
702
00:37:34,034 --> 00:37:35,453
I'll go out and buy some.
703
00:37:35,578 --> 00:37:36,996
[knocking on door]
704
00:37:37,121 --> 00:37:38,373
Don't answer it.
705
00:37:38,498 --> 00:37:39,957
Why not?
706
00:37:40,082 --> 00:37:43,253
Two guys came about
an hour ago. I think that's them.
707
00:37:43,378 --> 00:37:46,964
I think that is they. When are you
going to learn how to speak English?
708
00:37:47,089 --> 00:37:48,383
STREET: Don't worry.
[knocking on door]
709
00:37:48,508 --> 00:37:51,427
- Wait a minute.
- Doug?
710
00:37:51,552 --> 00:37:52,803
What?
711
00:37:52,928 --> 00:37:56,141
GABRIELLE: You know if it's the police,
I've got to tell them the truth.
712
00:37:56,266 --> 00:37:58,601
Who said it was the police?
713
00:37:58,726 --> 00:38:00,478
Then why are we whispering?
714
00:38:00,603 --> 00:38:02,522
You're not whispering.
715
00:38:03,147 --> 00:38:04,732
Not soft enough.
716
00:38:11,489 --> 00:38:13,366
- How do you do?
- Fine, thank you.
717
00:38:13,491 --> 00:38:16,076
Are you Mrs. Street,
married to Dr. Douglas Street?
718
00:38:16,201 --> 00:38:18,496
- Yes I am.
- We'd like to talk to the doctor.
719
00:38:18,621 --> 00:38:21,291
- Is he home?
- Yes, he is.
720
00:38:21,416 --> 00:38:23,125
Do you mind if we look around?
721
00:38:27,338 --> 00:38:29,882
STREET: A random security check
at the hospital
722
00:38:30,007 --> 00:38:32,259
had revealed my true identity.
723
00:38:32,677 --> 00:38:36,847
State police had persuaded the young
lady I'd operated on to press charges.
724
00:38:36,972 --> 00:38:39,559
Fraud with malicious intent.
725
00:38:40,976 --> 00:38:42,895
You can go to jail for that.
726
00:38:46,982 --> 00:38:49,819
[prison bell]
727
00:38:55,032 --> 00:38:57,034
[thwack]
728
00:39:03,791 --> 00:39:04,917
[cell door slamming shut]
729
00:39:05,042 --> 00:39:07,253
STREET: I don't know about the rest
of these convicts,
730
00:39:07,378 --> 00:39:10,590
but I didn't come to prison.
I come to study.
731
00:39:13,843 --> 00:39:15,094
- Have you actually...?
- [gasp of surprise]
732
00:39:15,219 --> 00:39:16,887
Sorry about that.
733
00:39:17,805 --> 00:39:22,142
I've been wanting to ask you.
Do you actually read all those books?
734
00:39:22,643 --> 00:39:23,894
Yes.
735
00:39:24,311 --> 00:39:26,731
You know what
puts the frosting on the cake?
736
00:39:26,856 --> 00:39:30,234
- Hunh-unh.
- I understand them.
737
00:39:31,611 --> 00:39:33,488
That's Eugene.
738
00:39:34,947 --> 00:39:37,199
Eugene and I both shared
a mutual admiration
739
00:39:37,324 --> 00:39:41,246
for Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko,
so we'd get together and trade comics
740
00:39:41,371 --> 00:39:43,998
talk comics, remember comics.
741
00:39:44,540 --> 00:39:47,627
In fact, Eugene was in Jackson
because of comics.
742
00:39:47,918 --> 00:39:52,214
He beat on his mother until she died,
because, well, let him tell it.
743
00:39:52,339 --> 00:39:55,885
So when I get home
and go up to my room,
744
00:39:56,301 --> 00:40:02,725
I say, "Mom. What hath
become of my comic books?"
745
00:40:04,184 --> 00:40:05,936
I used to always talk like Thor.
746
00:40:06,061 --> 00:40:08,022
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
747
00:40:08,147 --> 00:40:09,357
[Street laughs]
748
00:40:09,482 --> 00:40:11,025
You used to always talk like Thor, huh?
749
00:40:11,150 --> 00:40:13,068
Yeah, I patterned my speech after him.
750
00:40:13,193 --> 00:40:14,529
Yeah.
751
00:40:14,654 --> 00:40:16,864
Sometimes I talk like Spider-Man.
752
00:40:16,989 --> 00:40:20,368
- Or Daredevil. Or Nick Fury.
- Yeah.
753
00:40:20,493 --> 00:40:21,744
Or the Hulk.
754
00:40:22,537 --> 00:40:26,081
Of course the Hulk really didn't
have too much to say.
755
00:40:26,206 --> 00:40:28,167
No. Not really.
756
00:40:29,877 --> 00:40:31,587
Here you go, man.
[food plopping on tray]
757
00:40:31,712 --> 00:40:33,506
-Thanks,
-That's right.
758
00:40:33,631 --> 00:40:35,508
Hey brother, you better wake up.
759
00:40:35,633 --> 00:40:36,842
You sleepwalking?
760
00:40:36,967 --> 00:40:39,178
No man, this food is tripping me out.
761
00:40:39,303 --> 00:40:42,557
Look. Watermelon is slimy.
762
00:40:42,682 --> 00:40:45,810
Maybe we should stop pressing
license plates and use these for...
763
00:40:45,935 --> 00:40:47,645
[smashing on table]
bricks.
764
00:40:47,770 --> 00:40:50,022
[scoffs]
You don't like the rolls we bake?
765
00:40:50,147 --> 00:40:52,024
- When do you bake 'em?
- 4:30 in the morning.
766
00:40:52,149 --> 00:40:54,276
Get a little hard around supper time.
767
00:40:54,401 --> 00:40:56,654
A little hard?
[laughs]
768
00:40:56,779 --> 00:41:00,074
You have a gift for understatement.
[laughs]
769
00:41:06,789 --> 00:41:09,291
Got some for you Street.
[sound of catching roll]
770
00:41:09,416 --> 00:41:11,752
- What's this?
- Hot.
771
00:41:14,379 --> 00:41:17,633
- Hey!
- No, we use flour.
772
00:41:17,758 --> 00:41:22,513
[chuckles] Okay.
Well listen, how much do I owe you?
773
00:41:23,473 --> 00:41:24,724
It's cool.
774
00:41:27,226 --> 00:41:29,269
STREET: I guess because
he was Chief Cook,
775
00:41:29,394 --> 00:41:31,230
Smooth got a few extra perks.
776
00:41:31,438 --> 00:41:37,402
TV, stereo, hot plate, and the power
to invite a few guests over after hours.
777
00:41:37,778 --> 00:41:41,782
He has access to the best
Thai stick in Jackson prison.
778
00:41:41,907 --> 00:41:44,910
-GUARD: Come on Street,
-One of the guards, Larry Thompson.
779
00:41:45,035 --> 00:41:47,413
He'd take you back
to Smooth's cell after lights out.
780
00:41:47,538 --> 00:41:50,916
Come on here, man!
[warm laugh]
781
00:41:51,041 --> 00:41:52,251
How's it been going?
782
00:41:52,376 --> 00:41:54,629
You ready to finish
that game or you scared?
783
00:41:54,754 --> 00:41:57,422
- Go on and sit on the beat!
- Alright.
784
00:42:02,970 --> 00:42:07,475
My Mama sent me some cookies.
Like chocolate chip?
785
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:09,226
How did you know?
786
00:42:14,940 --> 00:42:16,191
Hey.
787
00:42:18,653 --> 00:42:20,154
Wendell, where are you?
Wendell?
788
00:42:20,279 --> 00:42:21,572
[screams]
789
00:42:21,864 --> 00:42:23,616
His eyes were boiling with hatred.
790
00:42:24,867 --> 00:42:26,368
I told you not to play with me.
791
00:42:26,493 --> 00:42:28,203
[Western movie shooting]
792
00:42:28,328 --> 00:42:29,204
I didn't mean it.
793
00:42:29,329 --> 00:42:32,124
[crowd roar]
Come on. Steve!
794
00:42:32,249 --> 00:42:33,793
You know...
795
00:42:34,877 --> 00:42:37,504
I've been real nice to you, ain't I?
796
00:42:38,505 --> 00:42:41,008
Yeah man.
And I appreciate it, too.
797
00:42:41,175 --> 00:42:42,760
[karate kick yell]
798
00:42:42,885 --> 00:42:47,723
Strange things happen here at night.
[nocturnal howling]
799
00:42:47,973 --> 00:42:49,433
Pass me that spud, will you?
800
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:53,353
[TV]: Please don't do it!
[woman screams]
801
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:55,648
WOMAN ON TV: I said, "please."
802
00:42:55,773 --> 00:42:57,525
Yeah, thanks, that's enough.
803
00:42:57,650 --> 00:43:01,862
TV: [Howling and cat screeching]
804
00:43:02,029 --> 00:43:04,198
Yeah, I've been real nice to you.
805
00:43:05,032 --> 00:43:07,284
You ain't been nice to me.
806
00:43:07,451 --> 00:43:09,745
Hmm?
What do you mean?
807
00:43:10,621 --> 00:43:11,997
You know what I mean.
808
00:43:13,874 --> 00:43:16,961
- Uh-oh.
- You ain't crazy.
809
00:43:18,003 --> 00:43:21,006
- [cough]
- Say what?
810
00:43:21,215 --> 00:43:25,552
Yeah, yeah man. Like I'll be
looking out for you, you know?
811
00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:27,680
Mmh-hmm.
812
00:43:28,347 --> 00:43:31,308
You know how you can
look out for me, don't you?
813
00:43:31,433 --> 00:43:35,312
I could smell his genitalia
as it wafted across the cell.
814
00:43:35,688 --> 00:43:38,983
You don't even know me,
so put your pants back on.
815
00:43:39,108 --> 00:43:41,861
Just put your pants back on.
816
00:43:41,986 --> 00:43:43,654
I can get to know you.
817
00:43:44,697 --> 00:43:46,073
I ain't even like that.
818
00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:47,867
You're doing it with whatchamacallit.
819
00:43:47,992 --> 00:43:50,620
That white boy I see you
hanging out with.
820
00:43:50,786 --> 00:43:52,246
- Aldo?
- That's right.
821
00:43:52,412 --> 00:43:53,623
[scoffs]
822
00:43:53,748 --> 00:43:57,334
You doing it.
What's the matter you color-struck?
823
00:43:57,501 --> 00:44:00,212
Saving it for all the white boys, huh?
824
00:44:00,379 --> 00:44:02,965
Why don't you get
your mind out of the gutter?
825
00:44:03,090 --> 00:44:05,550
You know,
I've been real nice to you, Doug.
826
00:44:06,010 --> 00:44:07,678
You know what goes down.
827
00:44:07,845 --> 00:44:10,472
Not me.
I don't go down.
828
00:44:12,474 --> 00:44:15,477
I don't have to be nice.
[Street laughs]
829
00:44:15,602 --> 00:44:19,690
What are you gonna do? Stop bringing
me hot rolls in the morning?
830
00:44:19,815 --> 00:44:21,566
No, look.
831
00:44:22,026 --> 00:44:24,236
Here you take this joint back.
832
00:44:24,569 --> 00:44:28,991
And you keep that joint under wraps and
you cancel my order for smooth, soft,
833
00:44:29,116 --> 00:44:33,162
steamy succulent, accent-on-the-sucked
breakfast buns and I'll see you later.
834
00:44:33,287 --> 00:44:34,580
I'm gonna get out of here.
835
00:44:34,705 --> 00:44:36,040
Where you think you going?
836
00:44:36,206 --> 00:44:37,833
- Hey, hey...
- I can take it if I want it
837
00:44:37,958 --> 00:44:39,418
and I want it.
838
00:44:40,377 --> 00:44:41,628
Un-hunh.
839
00:44:41,796 --> 00:44:46,341
Don't touch me man.
Mnh-mnh. Don't... touch... me.
840
00:44:48,593 --> 00:44:50,095
What's wrong with you?
841
00:44:51,305 --> 00:44:53,348
Mmm... Oh God.
842
00:44:53,515 --> 00:44:56,351
Man. What the hell's
the matter with you?
843
00:44:57,227 --> 00:44:58,979
I got a nervous...
844
00:45:00,272 --> 00:45:05,527
A nervous disorder and
it has to do with my blood pressure.
845
00:45:05,652 --> 00:45:08,030
It's alright, I got it.
846
00:45:09,073 --> 00:45:10,825
- You got it.
- Mnh-mnh.
847
00:45:11,575 --> 00:45:14,870
Hey, Thompson!
Hey! Thompson.
848
00:45:20,459 --> 00:45:24,629
[garbled]
I...got...a nervous condition.
849
00:45:25,923 --> 00:45:31,721
Nerve... nerve.. Nerve... nerve
nerve... nervous...
850
00:45:31,887 --> 00:45:33,013
condition.
851
00:45:33,848 --> 00:45:35,182
You epilepsy?
852
00:45:35,349 --> 00:45:39,937
Oh no, man no.
It's alright. I got...
853
00:45:40,104 --> 00:45:44,942
They say that I should be
on medication, but
854
00:45:45,109 --> 00:45:48,195
I don't like pills so...
855
00:45:48,528 --> 00:45:52,532
[Street moans]
It's alright.
856
00:45:54,493 --> 00:45:57,454
- What time is it?
- 8:30, uh...
857
00:45:57,579 --> 00:45:59,123
Time for you to go.
858
00:45:59,248 --> 00:46:02,251
STREET: Smooth's philosophy was
if you can't lick him, suck him,
859
00:46:02,376 --> 00:46:03,627
whereas the way I see it,
860
00:46:03,794 --> 00:46:07,798
if you can't suck him, trick him.
Because of the trick epileptic
861
00:46:07,965 --> 00:46:12,261
I was sent straight to the Big House
psychiatrist Dr. Jonathan Hand.
862
00:46:12,386 --> 00:46:14,471
This is all just a vacation to you,
isn't it?
863
00:46:14,596 --> 00:46:16,556
Prison? A vacation?
864
00:46:16,681 --> 00:46:19,810
To you, yes, it's all part
of your grand design.
865
00:46:19,935 --> 00:46:22,271
My grand design.
866
00:46:22,396 --> 00:46:24,481
- You laugh.
- You funny.
867
00:46:24,606 --> 00:46:27,442
Does it say in your folder
there what my grand design is?
868
00:46:27,567 --> 00:46:28,986
Have you got the blueprints?
869
00:46:29,736 --> 00:46:33,032
Has anyone ever told you your sense
of sarcasm is extremely strong?
870
00:46:33,157 --> 00:46:34,408
Oh yeah.
871
00:46:34,699 --> 00:46:36,744
Has anyone ever told
you that white people
872
00:46:36,869 --> 00:46:40,289
who get caught in the rain
smell exactly like wet dogs?
873
00:46:40,414 --> 00:46:42,749
This is fact, believe it or not.
874
00:46:42,917 --> 00:46:44,668
I beg your pardon.
Where the...
875
00:46:44,835 --> 00:46:46,545
I know, I know, I know.
But look,
876
00:46:46,711 --> 00:46:47,922
have you ever been standing
877
00:46:48,047 --> 00:46:52,259
in a crowd of white people,
and all of a sudden it starts to rain.
878
00:46:52,426 --> 00:46:56,096
It's a very particular odor,
extremely aromatic.
879
00:46:56,221 --> 00:46:57,723
Mnnnh.
880
00:46:57,848 --> 00:47:00,350
You like to use humor as a smokescreen.
881
00:47:01,018 --> 00:47:02,519
Look.
882
00:47:05,189 --> 00:47:07,274
I'm so far ahead of you.
883
00:47:08,025 --> 00:47:11,320
I know what you're about to say.
I know what you're thinking.
884
00:47:11,445 --> 00:47:14,364
I know what you're writing
on those evaluation papers.
885
00:47:14,656 --> 00:47:17,451
I know that you're wearing
an incredibly cheap toupee.
886
00:47:17,576 --> 00:47:19,745
I mean, I could sit here and
punch all the right buttons
887
00:47:19,870 --> 00:47:23,082
and make you think you're
a genius for correctly analyzing
888
00:47:23,207 --> 00:47:27,586
this complex, exotic,
notorious Negro, but...
889
00:47:28,503 --> 00:47:30,214
Notorious negro...
890
00:47:31,756 --> 00:47:34,056
That would be a good
name for my autobiography.
891
00:47:34,259 --> 00:47:36,136
I started writing my life story.
892
00:47:36,470 --> 00:47:37,721
No... notorious...
893
00:47:39,181 --> 00:47:40,975
The first time I went to Jackson Prison
894
00:47:41,100 --> 00:47:42,434
I was there for nine months.
895
00:47:42,559 --> 00:47:43,643
Mom.
896
00:47:43,768 --> 00:47:45,145
Give me the phone.
897
00:47:45,938 --> 00:47:46,731
Mom?
898
00:47:46,856 --> 00:47:48,774
And don't call here anymore.
899
00:47:48,899 --> 00:47:50,484
Mom?
900
00:47:50,609 --> 00:47:52,277
And that's the way to handle it.
901
00:47:52,444 --> 00:47:55,990
But anyway,
you're not so far off, you know.
902
00:47:57,241 --> 00:47:59,534
You know, I give people what they want.
903
00:48:00,327 --> 00:48:02,830
When I meet somebody
I know within the first two minutes
904
00:48:02,955 --> 00:48:04,206
who they want me to be.
905
00:48:04,331 --> 00:48:10,337
And I just cut the emotional cloth
of my personality to fit
906
00:48:10,504 --> 00:48:12,339
the emotional clothing
of whomever I'm...
907
00:48:12,464 --> 00:48:13,924
Conning.
908
00:48:14,466 --> 00:48:16,218
DR. HAND:
Why are you smiling?
909
00:48:18,762 --> 00:48:21,598
STREET:
Now you see it, now you don't.
910
00:48:23,017 --> 00:48:26,311
WARDEN: We have a very good
rapport with all of our inmates here.
911
00:48:28,355 --> 00:48:31,566
STREET: The warden walked
through with a group of civilians.
912
00:48:33,860 --> 00:48:37,156
Will you look at this brother here?
He's so busy protecting the white woman.
913
00:48:37,281 --> 00:48:39,491
He can't even
be bothered with my escape.
914
00:48:41,243 --> 00:48:43,078
It's freezing out here.
915
00:48:43,203 --> 00:48:48,708
I mean, I was at Yale.
It's not too far away. I got $24.
916
00:48:48,833 --> 00:48:51,295
I can get a bus in Ypsilanti.
917
00:48:51,461 --> 00:48:53,130
[train clacking across tracks]
918
00:48:55,049 --> 00:48:57,717
The first thing I did after arriving
in New Haven, Connecticut
919
00:48:57,842 --> 00:48:59,886
was get to Yale campus.
920
00:49:01,805 --> 00:49:05,059
Second thing,
get a collegiate Buppy haircut.
921
00:49:05,225 --> 00:49:07,436
Third thing,
get Gabrielle on the phone.
922
00:49:07,602 --> 00:49:10,397
STREET:
What? Don't ask stupid questions...
923
00:49:10,522 --> 00:49:12,607
I can't come back because
the Ann Arbor Police
924
00:49:12,732 --> 00:49:15,360
are asking me for that
non-petition funds check
925
00:49:15,485 --> 00:49:18,322
and I can't report to my parole
officer because she'll lock me up.
926
00:49:18,447 --> 00:49:21,491
GABRIELLE: I can't be a part of this
anymore. I don't believe it.
927
00:49:21,616 --> 00:49:22,701
STREET: What?
928
00:49:22,826 --> 00:49:25,204
GABRIELLE: I don't believe
you're in your right mind, Doug.
929
00:49:25,329 --> 00:49:26,538
STREET: What did you say?
930
00:49:26,663 --> 00:49:29,041
Would you put your mouth
to the phone and talk louder?
931
00:49:29,166 --> 00:49:32,752
GABRIELLE: And even if you are. I'd have
to be out of my mind to get involved.
932
00:49:32,877 --> 00:49:35,965
STREET: While I was in prison, Gabrielle
had become a Jehovah's Witness.
933
00:49:36,090 --> 00:49:38,175
Said she was tired of being a Baptist.
934
00:49:38,342 --> 00:49:40,927
Now how can anybody be tired
of being a Baptist?
935
00:49:41,386 --> 00:49:43,180
Lord have mercy.
936
00:49:43,555 --> 00:49:46,558
Well, we don't see
eye-to-eye or God-to-God.
937
00:49:48,810 --> 00:49:51,938
That afternoon I went to Cocteau's
Beauty and the Beast.
938
00:49:52,481 --> 00:49:54,191
To help get my mind right.
939
00:49:54,316 --> 00:49:56,318
BEAST: Alors!
940
00:49:56,443 --> 00:49:57,652
STREET: I love that movie.
941
00:49:57,777 --> 00:50:00,030
BEAST: Alors, cher monsieur.
942
00:50:02,657 --> 00:50:07,954
Vous volez mes roses.
Vous volez mes roses.
943
00:50:08,663 --> 00:50:11,917
STREET: After the movie I spend seven
minutes persuading Harkness Hall
944
00:50:12,042 --> 00:50:14,892
to let me have a room even
though I don't have my ID card.
945
00:50:16,963 --> 00:50:19,716
Next morning I knew what
I had to do and I was geek to do it.
946
00:50:19,841 --> 00:50:21,051
Stopped by Goodwill.
947
00:50:21,176 --> 00:50:24,013
Bought an $11
corduroy suit with patches...
948
00:50:24,138 --> 00:50:25,764
"I'm depending on you,
son."
949
00:50:25,889 --> 00:50:29,439
- Can you tell me where Harkness Hall is?
- Yeah, it's right over there.
950
00:50:30,269 --> 00:50:34,481
His name: Richard Dukes.
And he was made to order for my ID.
951
00:50:34,606 --> 00:50:36,691
Hey, some of your tapes
fell on the ground.
952
00:50:36,816 --> 00:50:38,318
Duh!
953
00:50:38,527 --> 00:50:42,239
Next morning, 8:00 a.m. Registrar.
954
00:50:42,364 --> 00:50:45,117
- Okay, that's "Richards?"
- Richard,
955
00:50:45,242 --> 00:50:46,493
Richard.
956
00:50:46,951 --> 00:50:49,038
- Dukes.
- Dukes.
957
00:50:49,163 --> 00:50:58,005
- D-U-K-E-S.
- Alright, Richard.
958
00:50:58,130 --> 00:51:00,507
Left a note for Amina Tatiana
in her mailbox.
959
00:51:00,632 --> 00:51:03,927
We haven't seen each other
for five years, not since I split.
960
00:51:05,137 --> 00:51:06,346
Thanks to Dick's ID,
961
00:51:06,471 --> 00:51:09,266
I now have total access
to the university's facilities,
962
00:51:09,391 --> 00:51:11,226
including the library here.
963
00:51:11,810 --> 00:51:14,939
But it won't be long before
the registrar gets hip to this game.
964
00:51:15,064 --> 00:51:18,150
I've got to get another identity, quick.
965
00:51:19,693 --> 00:51:25,657
[ceremonial organ music]
966
00:51:25,782 --> 00:51:28,660
Walking into the library.
967
00:51:28,785 --> 00:51:32,038
Like walking into a cathedral.
968
00:51:36,335 --> 00:51:38,503
I approached the librarian.
969
00:51:43,383 --> 00:51:45,094
STREET: Excuse me, miss.
970
00:51:46,178 --> 00:51:49,055
I always feel
right at home in a library.
971
00:51:49,514 --> 00:51:53,143
Well, who have we here?
Jason Goes to Yale?
972
00:51:56,230 --> 00:51:58,607
I love the atmosphere in a library.
973
00:51:59,233 --> 00:52:01,693
You can almost hear the sound
of thought.
974
00:52:02,236 --> 00:52:03,487
Can you hear it?
975
00:52:08,074 --> 00:52:13,955
And at the moment, all of my thinking
is headed in a bilingual direction.
976
00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:19,669
[continued organ music]
977
00:52:22,589 --> 00:52:24,716
STREET: "Do you sweat much at night?"
978
00:52:25,175 --> 00:52:28,470
"Transpirez-vous beacoup
pendant la nuit?"
979
00:52:28,928 --> 00:52:32,557
"I shave my armpit every day."
980
00:52:32,682 --> 00:52:36,102
"Je me rase mon aisselle
tous les jours."
981
00:52:36,478 --> 00:52:41,441
"Your friend is a real slut.
She gets laid by everyone."
982
00:52:41,691 --> 00:52:48,031
"Ta copine est une vraie poupiasse.
Elle se fait sauter par tout le monde."
983
00:52:48,365 --> 00:52:51,868
"par tout le monde."
"par tout le monde."
984
00:52:52,035 --> 00:52:54,635
MAN: Excuse me sir,there's no smoking in the lounge.
985
00:52:55,038 --> 00:52:57,832
[FRENCH ACCENT]: But I have been smoking
here for the past two hours.
986
00:52:57,957 --> 00:53:00,669
MAN: The people upstairs say bring the
ashtray downstairs, sir.
987
00:53:00,794 --> 00:53:02,587
There's no smoking in the lounge,
as a matter of fact,
988
00:53:02,712 --> 00:53:04,464
I'm taking that ashtray.
989
00:53:08,260 --> 00:53:09,469
Merde.
990
00:53:09,594 --> 00:53:11,180
MAN: I beg your pardon?
991
00:53:11,346 --> 00:53:14,891
- Merde to you.
- What do that mean, sir.
992
00:53:15,058 --> 00:53:18,395
Merde means merde.
993
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:19,771
Yeah.
994
00:53:22,774 --> 00:53:27,321
Uh no, they invited me
to this masquerade ball next week.
995
00:53:27,612 --> 00:53:29,323
Yeah, it's a costume ball,
996
00:53:29,448 --> 00:53:33,160
and whoever has the best costume
gets $10.000 prize money.
997
00:53:33,285 --> 00:53:36,955
Shoot. Gabrielle act like
she's sorry I called.
998
00:53:37,206 --> 00:53:38,998
I am sorry, too.
999
00:53:39,541 --> 00:53:43,670
But when I get back to my room,
Amina Tatiana is waiting.
1000
00:53:43,795 --> 00:53:45,839
And she wasn't sorry either.
1001
00:53:45,964 --> 00:53:50,844
Amina was from Kenya, from money,
from beauty and class.
1002
00:53:50,969 --> 00:53:52,512
I was from hunger,
1003
00:53:52,637 --> 00:53:57,434
but she loved and excited me in a way
no other woman has before or since.
1004
00:53:59,811 --> 00:54:02,439
You look incredibly beautiful.
1005
00:54:04,274 --> 00:54:06,443
You look incredibly beautiful.
1006
00:54:07,527 --> 00:54:09,112
Tiara.
1007
00:54:10,489 --> 00:54:12,073
Tiara.
1008
00:54:15,118 --> 00:54:22,501
[romantic guitar music]
1009
00:54:38,850 --> 00:54:41,936
Anyway, I just froze.
1010
00:54:43,187 --> 00:54:46,358
You know, the only thing I could
think of was, you know the skunk
1011
00:54:46,483 --> 00:54:49,819
in the Warner Brothers cartoon,
Pepe Le Pew.
1012
00:54:49,986 --> 00:54:51,196
Mmh-hnh.
1013
00:54:51,321 --> 00:54:54,324
That's all I could
think of and I just said "Pepe."
1014
00:54:54,616 --> 00:54:58,620
You know, if I were
little bit stronger in French,
1015
00:54:58,745 --> 00:55:02,874
if I spoke as many languages as you do,
you know that's what I wish.
1016
00:55:02,999 --> 00:55:05,251
Then I could really get it.
1017
00:55:05,752 --> 00:55:07,587
STREET:
Anyway, do you know who this is?
1018
00:55:07,712 --> 00:55:10,465
TIANA: No, I don't think so.
STREET: Édith Piaf.
1019
00:55:11,508 --> 00:55:13,302
I taped it off PBS.
1020
00:55:13,427 --> 00:55:17,138
[speaking French]
1021
00:55:17,514 --> 00:55:19,183
I don't know what
the hell she's talking about,
1022
00:55:19,308 --> 00:55:22,060
but I got the words
and inflections down.
1023
00:55:22,185 --> 00:55:25,689
So, I decided to show up at one
of these orientation parties.
1024
00:55:25,814 --> 00:55:27,732
- STUDENT: McLuhan.
- What?
1025
00:55:27,857 --> 00:55:28,900
It was a good test.
1026
00:55:29,025 --> 00:55:31,570
MAN: whose said many a times
it's a wasteland.
1027
00:55:31,695 --> 00:55:33,322
TV is a vast wasteland.
1028
00:55:33,447 --> 00:55:35,407
STREET: I introduced myself
as Pepe le Mofo.
1029
00:55:35,532 --> 00:55:39,077
- TIANA: Who?- STREET: Pepe le Mofo.
1030
00:55:39,369 --> 00:55:43,332
I told them I was a foreign
exchange student from Martinique.
1031
00:55:43,582 --> 00:55:45,959
I didn't have the Piaf
completely memorized,
1032
00:55:46,084 --> 00:55:48,253
but I figured if
I got lost in conversation
1033
00:55:48,378 --> 00:55:50,380
I could always start accusing people.
[laughs]
1034
00:55:50,505 --> 00:55:51,923
TIANA: Oh, I see.
1035
00:55:52,131 --> 00:55:54,384
My faculty advisor, Mr Shaw,
1036
00:55:54,551 --> 00:55:58,388
he sat me down with a few students
who claimed they could speak French.
1037
00:56:00,515 --> 00:56:07,856
Après moi, le déluge.
Après moi, le déluge.
1038
00:56:10,066 --> 00:56:11,276
Oui.
1039
00:56:11,401 --> 00:56:12,736
They all thought I was French.
1040
00:56:12,861 --> 00:56:14,070
[she laughs]
1041
00:56:14,195 --> 00:56:16,545
They tried to pull out
their high school French.
1042
00:56:18,450 --> 00:56:23,913
STREET: Everything was fine until Raoul
walked into the picture.
1043
00:56:24,873 --> 00:56:29,168
Raoul was a real foreign
exchange student from Belgium.
1044
00:56:29,335 --> 00:56:32,881
Je trouve cette chemise très laide.
1045
00:56:33,006 --> 00:56:35,008
J'accuse les femmes.
1046
00:56:35,842 --> 00:56:37,176
J'accuse.
1047
00:56:37,301 --> 00:56:38,803
J'accuse Jacques Brel.
1048
00:56:38,928 --> 00:56:42,098
J'accuse Jacques Cousteau.
1049
00:56:42,223 --> 00:56:44,518
J'accuse Jacques Strap.
1050
00:56:44,643 --> 00:56:48,563
J'accuse Jacuzzi
J'accuse Brigitte Bardot.
1051
00:56:49,355 --> 00:56:52,233
J'accuse Pierre Salinger.
1052
00:56:52,401 --> 00:56:55,654
GIRL THINKING: What the hell is he
talking about?
1053
00:56:55,779 --> 00:56:58,156
Je protégeais quelqu'un, hein?
1054
00:56:58,322 --> 00:57:02,577
Quelqu'un.
Après moi. Non?
1055
00:57:02,869 --> 00:57:04,496
- Oui.
- Non.
1056
00:57:04,621 --> 00:57:08,207
- Oui, non. Oui?
- RAOUL: Non.
1057
00:57:10,919 --> 00:57:13,380
Tu ne parles pas français.
1058
00:57:13,505 --> 00:57:16,090
How long do you think
you can keep this up?
1059
00:57:16,508 --> 00:57:19,385
This French facade.
1060
00:57:23,222 --> 00:57:25,684
What are you going
to do while you're here?
1061
00:57:27,811 --> 00:57:32,273
I'm going to crash this costume ball
that's being given next week.
1062
00:57:33,274 --> 00:57:35,610
It's being given in honor
of Phantomas Judex.
1063
00:57:35,735 --> 00:57:37,278
Phantomas Judex?
1064
00:57:37,403 --> 00:57:39,864
Yeah, Phantomas Judex.
1065
00:57:39,989 --> 00:57:43,034
- The French rock group.
- French rock.
1066
00:57:43,326 --> 00:57:46,204
Is it anything like French kissing?
1067
00:57:46,329 --> 00:57:48,873
- STREET: You wanna come?
- Oh.
1068
00:57:49,415 --> 00:57:55,464
I've got 200 pages of material to absorb
every night for the next two weeks.
1069
00:57:55,964 --> 00:57:59,300
But that sounds very interesting.
1070
00:58:00,927 --> 00:58:05,640
Douglas Street.
The Chameleon at a masquerade ball.
1071
00:58:05,807 --> 00:58:08,351
- Yeah.
- I would like to come with you.
1072
00:58:08,518 --> 00:58:10,144
- Alright!
- [she laughs]
1073
00:58:10,269 --> 00:58:13,857
- Listen, I'm going to come as the Beast.
- Excellent.
1074
00:58:14,023 --> 00:58:15,149
You know, from Beauty and the Beast.
1075
00:58:15,274 --> 00:58:16,568
- Yes, yes.
- The fairy tale?
1076
00:58:16,693 --> 00:58:18,862
- It's typecasting.
- And you...
1077
00:58:19,445 --> 00:58:23,157
should come as Beauty.
Black Beauty.
1078
00:58:23,324 --> 00:58:26,995
- Black Beauty was a horse.
- Mmmm...
1079
00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:29,373
Black Beauty is...
1080
00:58:29,498 --> 00:58:31,500
That's more typecasting.
1081
00:58:31,666 --> 00:58:34,586
Remember that time we were in DC.
Oh, there's your earring.
1082
00:58:35,461 --> 00:58:37,421
Remember that time we were in DC,
1083
00:58:37,839 --> 00:58:40,592
and those kids met us on the street
1084
00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:43,553
and they asked you
if you were the black Barbie.
1085
00:58:43,803 --> 00:58:45,639
I remember.
1086
00:58:45,764 --> 00:58:48,392
- But Doug...
- Mmh?
1087
00:58:48,517 --> 00:58:52,436
Maybe Gabrielle should
come with you as Beauty.
1088
00:59:00,945 --> 00:59:02,697
How did you know I was married?
1089
00:59:02,822 --> 00:59:07,661
Nancy Bankoff told me since I didn't
receive an invitation.
1090
00:59:07,786 --> 00:59:09,621
Bankoff.
1091
00:59:11,790 --> 00:59:14,668
Gabrielle wouldn't
even get a kick out of it.
1092
00:59:16,878 --> 00:59:18,880
She'd probably say
it was against her religion
1093
00:59:19,005 --> 00:59:20,549
to attend a masquerade ball.
1094
00:59:20,674 --> 00:59:22,091
What do you mean?
1095
00:59:23,552 --> 00:59:24,803
Look.
1096
00:59:25,469 --> 00:59:27,639
There's a lot you don't know.
1097
00:59:30,474 --> 00:59:32,226
TIANA:
Do you love her?
1098
00:59:33,937 --> 00:59:35,021
I...
1099
00:59:35,855 --> 00:59:38,191
I heard a great quote the other day.
1100
00:59:38,567 --> 00:59:42,487
Woman inspires man
to create masterpieces,
1101
00:59:42,612 --> 00:59:45,699
and then prevents him
from carrying them out.
1102
00:59:45,824 --> 00:59:48,785
- Who said that?
- Oscar Wilde.
1103
00:59:50,662 --> 00:59:52,121
Maybe...
1104
00:59:52,246 --> 00:59:53,457
Divine Oscar.
1105
00:59:53,582 --> 00:59:58,587
She doesn't understand what masterpiece
you're trying to create, Doug.
1106
00:59:58,753 --> 01:00:02,381
I'm not sure anybody
understands what you're doing.
1107
01:00:02,506 --> 01:00:03,717
Least of all you.
1108
01:00:03,842 --> 01:00:08,680
Hey, if I didn't know what I was doing,
I couldn't do what I am doing.
1109
01:00:08,847 --> 01:00:13,768
True, but that still doesn't
explain what it is you want.
1110
01:00:15,019 --> 01:00:16,563
I want...
1111
01:00:16,688 --> 01:00:21,735
If all of my dreams of beauty
had been crazy-glued together
1112
01:00:21,860 --> 01:00:26,155
into one perfect woman,
she would have been like you.
1113
01:00:27,156 --> 01:00:28,366
Perfect.
1114
01:00:28,491 --> 01:00:30,619
Would you listen to what I'm saying?
1115
01:00:34,372 --> 01:00:36,082
Don't you know that all my life
I've been going out
1116
01:00:36,207 --> 01:00:38,710
trying to find out
what this "love" is about?
1117
01:00:40,253 --> 01:00:44,633
- You're married.
- That's what divorce is for.
1118
01:00:44,758 --> 01:00:48,637
Oh no. To help you come
up with a definition of love?
1119
01:00:48,762 --> 01:00:52,849
Doug, that's like using
abortion as contraception.
1120
01:00:54,726 --> 01:00:56,435
You know you're gonna be
a very good attorney.
1121
01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:59,856
But could you, like, put down
the law books for a minute?
1122
01:01:02,233 --> 01:01:05,236
Why don't you try and talk about
1123
01:01:05,820 --> 01:01:10,491
what we can do
in order to stay together?
1124
01:01:10,616 --> 01:01:12,576
Why don't you talk about that?
1125
01:01:13,077 --> 01:01:15,789
- Oh Doug.
- Don't...
1126
01:01:15,955 --> 01:01:22,587
That's what I want.
More than anything in the world.
1127
01:01:22,712 --> 01:01:24,756
Mmh-unh?
1128
01:01:24,881 --> 01:01:32,138
But in my heart,
I know it will never happen now.
1129
01:01:35,391 --> 01:01:38,853
Mnh. I know.
1130
01:01:40,229 --> 01:01:48,697
[guillotine smashes down]
[thumping synth rock music]
1131
01:01:54,202 --> 01:01:59,332
[continued party music]
1132
01:02:07,298 --> 01:02:09,884
STREET: This whole event
is being covered by cable.
1133
01:02:15,681 --> 01:02:17,266
Look across the ballroom.
1134
01:02:17,391 --> 01:02:21,645
See that huge projection of David's
masterpiece "Marat Assassinated"?
1135
01:02:21,771 --> 01:02:25,524
The band members have all taken famous
names from the French Revolution.
1136
01:02:25,649 --> 01:02:27,611
The one who calls himself Robespierre,
that's him.
1137
01:02:27,736 --> 01:02:31,572
He keeps encouraging the crowd to chant,
"Marat! Marat!!"
1138
01:02:31,697 --> 01:02:34,117
Like Marat was some kind of hero.
1139
01:02:34,242 --> 01:02:37,120
These people don't even
know they're cheering a psychotic!
1140
01:02:37,328 --> 01:02:40,373
Long live lemmings!
1141
01:02:40,999 --> 01:02:43,167
SINGER: Woo!
1142
01:02:58,933 --> 01:03:02,436
STREET (as BEAST): Belle.
Je vous aime, Belle.
1143
01:03:02,603 --> 01:03:03,813
STREET: Garçon!
1144
01:03:09,861 --> 01:03:11,655
Yes, Sir.
1145
01:03:11,780 --> 01:03:15,867
I need a straw
to drink the champagne. Oui?
1146
01:03:15,992 --> 01:03:17,869
Need a straw.
1147
01:03:18,244 --> 01:03:23,291
- I will see what I can do.
- Merci beaucoup.
1148
01:03:24,125 --> 01:03:28,254
Va. Accélerez, va.
1149
01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:36,762
- Vas-tu!- [responds in bad French]
1150
01:03:37,555 --> 01:03:40,391
Va, va, va.
1151
01:03:40,516 --> 01:03:44,353
STREET: Merci! Merci!
Merci très bien!
1152
01:03:44,478 --> 01:03:45,730
What'd they say?
1153
01:03:45,855 --> 01:03:49,150
- How much did you give him?
- Five cents.
1154
01:03:49,317 --> 01:03:53,196
I'm cheap, but I have class.
What did he say?
1155
01:03:53,362 --> 01:03:59,410
Roughly translated, and I quote:
"You skinflint. You can take
1156
01:03:59,535 --> 01:04:07,085
that straw and go suck lukewarm cat's
piss, you transvestite." Unquote.
1157
01:04:09,503 --> 01:04:12,841
Well, I wish I could
speak French like that.
1158
01:04:20,932 --> 01:04:22,558
An old fag.
1159
01:04:23,601 --> 01:04:24,978
[growls]
1160
01:04:25,311 --> 01:04:27,396
STREET: The guy who helped me with
my costume and makeup
1161
01:04:27,521 --> 01:04:31,234
also ran lights up in
the security booth, Jack Pierce.
1162
01:04:31,817 --> 01:04:34,112
He let us kick back there for awhile.
1163
01:04:38,699 --> 01:04:43,704
Comb my face, baby.
[growling purr]
1164
01:04:46,249 --> 01:04:47,500
Good.
1165
01:04:48,584 --> 01:04:49,835
[more purr-growling]
1166
01:04:51,254 --> 01:04:54,883
- Open your mouth!
- Ah!
1167
01:04:55,008 --> 01:04:58,219
My what long fangs you've got.
1168
01:04:58,761 --> 01:05:02,348
The better to gnaw you with, my dear.
1169
01:05:02,473 --> 01:05:04,725
And a lot of fillings, too.
1170
01:05:07,353 --> 01:05:09,688
[swallowing]
1171
01:05:09,813 --> 01:05:14,193
More, more! And try to get it
in my mouth, next time.
1172
01:05:14,318 --> 01:05:16,029
I'm trying.
1173
01:05:16,195 --> 01:05:19,282
Un-hunh.
Wha... Mmnh.
1174
01:05:25,413 --> 01:05:29,292
Ah. Mmnh.
1175
01:05:29,417 --> 01:05:31,377
Ah.
1176
01:05:33,462 --> 01:05:36,882
I'm happy.
Oh my God.
1177
01:05:53,524 --> 01:05:56,777
- Uh-oh. Minute's up.
- What?
1178
01:05:57,320 --> 01:06:01,449
Happiness flies when Gabrielle arrives.
1179
01:06:01,574 --> 01:06:03,409
Gabrielle?
1180
01:06:03,617 --> 01:06:07,455
- That's Gabrielle?
- Gabrielle.
1181
01:06:10,874 --> 01:06:13,086
[ambient crowd noise over video]
1182
01:06:13,336 --> 01:06:15,838
Do you think she'll recognize you?
1183
01:06:18,507 --> 01:06:20,176
I'm going to find out.
1184
01:06:22,136 --> 01:06:27,350
STREET: I abandoned Amina.
I haven't seen or heard from her since.
1185
01:06:29,435 --> 01:06:31,312
But I still see that look.
1186
01:06:34,065 --> 01:06:35,941
I still see that face.
1187
01:06:50,289 --> 01:06:52,458
She doesn't recognize me.
1188
01:06:54,043 --> 01:06:55,294
Or does she?
1189
01:06:56,129 --> 01:07:00,091
[classical waltz music]
1190
01:07:21,279 --> 01:07:25,033
By the time the dance was over,
I could tell she didn't know who I was.
1191
01:07:25,158 --> 01:07:28,661
Enchanté yourself, Belle.
1192
01:07:31,497 --> 01:07:34,875
My name is Gabrielle Street.
What's yours?
1193
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:37,753
EMCEE:
Ladies and gentlemen,
1194
01:07:37,878 --> 01:07:41,006
may I have your attention, please?
1195
01:07:41,632 --> 01:07:47,305
The time has
come to announce our winner!
1196
01:07:47,930 --> 01:07:51,976
And the winner is: Douglas Street
for his costume of the Beast
1197
01:07:52,101 --> 01:07:54,478
and Amina Tatiana for her costume
as Beauty.
1198
01:07:54,603 --> 01:07:58,732
Doug won! Where is he?
My husband won first prize!
1199
01:07:58,857 --> 01:08:02,570
[crowd applauds]
1200
01:08:02,695 --> 01:08:08,159
Amina Tatiana? Who's Amina Tatiana?
Doug!
1201
01:08:10,994 --> 01:08:12,538
Doug, is that you?
1202
01:08:14,415 --> 01:08:17,126
[enthusiastic applause]
1203
01:08:21,255 --> 01:08:25,259
[distorted, slow-motion roar]
1204
01:08:25,384 --> 01:08:28,221
STREET: I don't know you
and I know you don't know me,
1205
01:08:28,346 --> 01:08:30,431
so let's agree to disagree if you want.
1206
01:08:30,556 --> 01:08:32,933
But as far as I'm concerned,
most people have
1207
01:08:33,058 --> 01:08:36,395
maybe two or three great
moments in their entire lives.
1208
01:08:36,520 --> 01:08:37,855
So get it right.
1209
01:08:37,980 --> 01:08:40,274
If the moment calls, give me the phone.
1210
01:08:40,399 --> 01:08:43,569
If the moment drops by tonight,
show him in.
1211
01:08:43,694 --> 01:08:46,030
Make him comfortable.
Set him up in the easy chair,
1212
01:08:46,155 --> 01:08:49,450
give him a cup of coffee because I am
definitely into the moment.
1213
01:08:50,576 --> 01:08:58,709
[wild applause and cheering]
1214
01:08:59,418 --> 01:09:01,295
[eerie music on top of applause]
1215
01:09:01,420 --> 01:09:03,922
[wicked laughter]
1216
01:09:04,673 --> 01:09:14,099
[piercing siren-like singing]
1217
01:09:14,267 --> 01:09:17,060
He told me,
"I didn't sleep with Amina."
1218
01:09:17,228 --> 01:09:19,397
I told him that's a lie.
I can see by the way
1219
01:09:19,522 --> 01:09:21,607
your nose is flaring, you're a liar.
1220
01:09:21,732 --> 01:09:24,152
STREET: I agreed to nine
months of marriage counseling.
1221
01:09:24,277 --> 01:09:26,779
Gabrielle got a few things
off her chest,
1222
01:09:26,945 --> 01:09:29,282
Bastard.
Answer me.
1223
01:09:29,990 --> 01:09:31,242
Answer me.
1224
01:09:31,409 --> 01:09:33,536
Do I love her?
Do I love her?
1225
01:09:34,203 --> 01:09:35,454
Do I love her?
1226
01:09:35,579 --> 01:09:38,249
There are men
coming up to me all the time.
1227
01:09:38,957 --> 01:09:44,380
They offer me everything.
Clothes, trips, jewelry.
1228
01:09:44,505 --> 01:09:46,674
She never cheated on me.
1229
01:09:47,425 --> 01:09:51,137
- And she could have. Time...
- And time...
1230
01:09:51,262 --> 01:09:53,639
- and time... again.
- Again.
1231
01:09:54,432 --> 01:09:56,392
That hurt me so bad.
1232
01:09:56,517 --> 01:09:59,853
Don't get me wrong because
I love my daughter very much.
1233
01:10:00,271 --> 01:10:02,440
It just hurt me when...
1234
01:10:04,525 --> 01:10:09,738
she had the baby like that
because I wasn't ready.
1235
01:10:10,406 --> 01:10:13,409
I know I wasn't ready,
I said then I wasn't ready.
1236
01:10:14,160 --> 01:10:18,622
And she's gonna make me be ready
by having the baby behind my back?
1237
01:10:22,585 --> 01:10:26,505
They say marriages break
down in bed first. Ours didn't.
1238
01:10:26,922 --> 01:10:28,841
After we were married,
we went to visit my aunt
1239
01:10:28,966 --> 01:10:33,221
in Burbank, California,
and we went on Newlywed Game.
1240
01:10:33,346 --> 01:10:36,432
We couldn't keep our hands off
each other for the whole show.
1241
01:10:36,557 --> 01:10:38,601
That's just the way we are.
1242
01:10:38,726 --> 01:10:41,854
I think our sex life
is really outstanding.
1243
01:10:43,105 --> 01:10:48,819
Even though he does have this little
problem with... premature ejaculation.
1244
01:10:49,403 --> 01:10:51,822
STREET: Diarrhea of the mouth.
1245
01:10:58,161 --> 01:11:01,249
[key turning in lock]
[Street chuckles]
1246
01:11:01,457 --> 01:11:05,794
You know I got three little letters
that'll solve all your problems.
1247
01:11:06,169 --> 01:11:08,088
A.D.C.
1248
01:11:08,213 --> 01:11:10,090
You hurt my feelings.
1249
01:11:11,049 --> 01:11:12,260
That's what they're for.
1250
01:11:12,385 --> 01:11:17,265
You damn bastard! You no good asshole!
I don't believe you!
1251
01:11:17,390 --> 01:11:18,682
[slapping]
1252
01:11:18,807 --> 01:11:20,518
Are you through?
1253
01:11:21,602 --> 01:11:23,396
What, are you through?
1254
01:11:24,647 --> 01:11:29,193
You don't have to go to the gym today.
You just worked out.
1255
01:11:29,318 --> 01:11:30,569
[door opening]
1256
01:11:30,819 --> 01:11:31,945
[door slamming against wall]
1257
01:11:32,070 --> 01:11:34,740
STREET: Play 509 and box it.
1258
01:11:42,915 --> 01:11:45,834
I need more toys.
1259
01:11:45,959 --> 01:11:48,253
I need more toys!
1260
01:11:54,968 --> 01:11:56,387
Hi, Doug.
1261
01:11:56,554 --> 01:12:02,726
Afecrihalu. Astou-sayn.
Astou-sayn. Astou-sayn.
1262
01:12:05,854 --> 01:12:10,651
[spraying]
1263
01:12:13,111 --> 01:12:15,989
[spraying]
1264
01:12:18,867 --> 01:12:22,455
There you go.
New toy. Black Barbie.
1265
01:12:29,337 --> 01:12:35,509
[upbeat music on walkman]
1266
01:12:37,177 --> 01:12:38,387
Happy now?
1267
01:12:38,512 --> 01:12:41,807
STREET: Gabrielle insisted that my work
with the Detroit Human Rights Commission
1268
01:12:41,932 --> 01:12:43,517
earned me a six-figure salary.
1269
01:12:43,642 --> 01:12:45,853
That's ridiculous.
It was volunteer work.
1270
01:12:45,978 --> 01:12:48,356
Would I go to a blood bank
every Tuesday and Friday
1271
01:12:48,481 --> 01:12:49,732
if I had big bucks?
1272
01:12:49,857 --> 01:12:53,652
CURTIS: I mean, you can sell your blood.
$8 a pint. I've done it.
1273
01:12:53,777 --> 01:12:54,987
STREET:
I'll never get that low.
1274
01:12:55,112 --> 01:12:57,656
I'll never get that low.
I'll never get that low.
1275
01:12:58,281 --> 01:13:01,535
- Well did you get it?
- What do you think?
1276
01:13:01,702 --> 01:13:02,995
- Nope.
- Nope.
1277
01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:04,913
Yeah, 45, 50.
1278
01:13:05,539 --> 01:13:09,668
- That was good work last night, Doug.
- Thank you very much.
1279
01:13:14,214 --> 01:13:16,133
STREET:
Let me introduce my new associates.
1280
01:13:16,258 --> 01:13:18,927
That's Brian Whitaker,
scholar and a gentleman.
1281
01:13:19,052 --> 01:13:20,554
Brian tried to help me out in the end.
1282
01:13:20,679 --> 01:13:22,640
RODDY:
Vitamin C goes out when you pee.
1283
01:13:22,765 --> 01:13:25,017
That was the voice of Roddy Pettigrew,
1284
01:13:25,142 --> 01:13:29,104
in whom both the ass and the hole
meet in perfect union.
1285
01:13:29,229 --> 01:13:32,900
Vitamin E makes me sexy.
1286
01:13:33,776 --> 01:13:35,944
Take a lot of those.
A lot.
1287
01:13:36,111 --> 01:13:39,197
But that doesn't necessarily mean
we're going to win this case.
1288
01:13:39,322 --> 01:13:41,825
STREET: Mr. Marshall himself.
1289
01:13:41,992 --> 01:13:45,746
They're sending over four
corporate attorneys
1290
01:13:45,913 --> 01:13:48,791
to meet with you to discuss
their client's position.
1291
01:13:52,252 --> 01:13:56,424
Tomorrow at 10:30.
You're gonna enjoy this one, Doug.
1292
01:13:58,175 --> 01:14:02,054
STREET:
Mmh. Is that a promise or a threat?
1293
01:14:09,978 --> 01:14:12,356
- Mr. Street?
- Speak on it, Mary.
1294
01:14:12,481 --> 01:14:16,068
- Your 10:30 appointment has arrived.
- Oh, is that so.
1295
01:14:16,193 --> 01:14:18,446
- Yes, they are here.
- Well, that's fine.
1296
01:14:18,571 --> 01:14:21,239
Take them into the conference room,
give them some coffee,
1297
01:14:21,364 --> 01:14:24,367
put out the peacock tongue dip
and the gefilte fish.
1298
01:14:24,535 --> 01:14:25,953
Follow me gentlemen.
1299
01:14:26,119 --> 01:14:29,372
- [knock on door]
- Yeah?
1300
01:14:30,541 --> 01:14:33,627
How long are you going to keep
these men waiting?
1301
01:14:33,752 --> 01:14:35,629
Five more minutes.
1302
01:14:36,213 --> 01:14:40,133
- They've already been waiting.
- Five minutes, that's right.
1303
01:14:41,469 --> 01:14:43,387
Another five minutes will make it–
1304
01:14:43,512 --> 01:14:46,849
Ten. That's right, Mary,
can't fool you.
1305
01:14:48,934 --> 01:14:58,736
[instrumental music]
1306
01:14:58,902 --> 01:15:03,448
- To an amicable settlement.
- [MEN AT TABLE]: Toast. Cheers.
1307
01:15:03,699 --> 01:15:05,325
[glasses clink]
[Chopin on piano]
1308
01:15:05,450 --> 01:15:07,703
STREET: Everything I did
at this luncheon was calculated
1309
01:15:07,828 --> 01:15:09,913
to give me the psychological edge.
1310
01:15:11,665 --> 01:15:16,211
They each ordered at least two drinks.
I ordered, but I didn't drink.
1311
01:15:17,796 --> 01:15:23,010
The Chopin lulled them,
while the alcohol dulled them.
1312
01:15:24,512 --> 01:15:27,347
[men consult with each other on menu]
[Chopin music]
1313
01:15:27,472 --> 01:15:29,057
I'll have the beef steak tartar.
1314
01:15:29,182 --> 01:15:31,351
WAITER: Would you care
for anything to drink, Sir?
1315
01:15:31,476 --> 01:15:32,686
OTHER MAN: Um, [indistinct].
1316
01:15:32,811 --> 01:15:35,939
STREET: Meanwhile,
I quickly analyze my opposition.
1317
01:15:36,607 --> 01:15:39,777
That's Barrett on the right.
He's the head honcho.
1318
01:15:39,902 --> 01:15:42,988
Made it to the top
and he's still dissatisfied.
1319
01:15:44,156 --> 01:15:47,951
He's got an ulcer, which is why he went
to the bathroom about four times.
1320
01:15:48,076 --> 01:15:50,412
That's Jack Griffin,
Barrett's hatchet man.
1321
01:15:51,079 --> 01:15:52,998
You don't play with him.
1322
01:15:54,667 --> 01:15:57,294
Oh yeah, this guy.
I didn't catch his name.
1323
01:15:57,419 --> 01:16:00,422
I think they brought this guy
along to be a distraction.
1324
01:16:01,549 --> 01:16:05,260
- Came straight from the dentist.
- Is that so?
1325
01:16:05,385 --> 01:16:06,637
Got my teeth cleaned.
1326
01:16:09,139 --> 01:16:13,101
MAN: I have to be at the
tanning spa tomorrow morning at 6.
1327
01:16:14,394 --> 01:16:15,646
Is that so?
1328
01:16:16,564 --> 01:16:20,609
- Did you say the tanning spa?
- Yes.
1329
01:16:20,776 --> 01:16:22,903
Which one do you go to?
1330
01:16:23,528 --> 01:16:25,781
Golden Tones, in Briarwood.
1331
01:16:26,782 --> 01:16:28,366
Is it very expensive?
1332
01:16:31,036 --> 01:16:32,370
Yes, actually.
1333
01:16:33,413 --> 01:16:35,415
If you're interested,
I can get you a free guest pass.
1334
01:16:35,540 --> 01:16:39,587
Oh no.
No, I was just doing a little research.
1335
01:16:40,545 --> 01:16:44,132
- On what?
- White people.
1336
01:16:46,093 --> 01:16:48,011
It amazes me,
1337
01:16:48,136 --> 01:16:52,808
that whites avidly seek after
all the accoutrements of black style.
1338
01:16:53,225 --> 01:16:57,312
You pickle your bodies
in gallons of tanning lotion.
1339
01:16:57,437 --> 01:17:02,818
You broil your pale flesh brown
in the tanning spas at great expense.
1340
01:17:02,943 --> 01:17:09,449
And all the while maintaining such
a marvelous contempt for black people.
1341
01:17:11,451 --> 01:17:14,997
You wily Caucasians.
1342
01:17:21,086 --> 01:17:22,337
Here's to you.
1343
01:17:28,510 --> 01:17:29,762
Yep.
1344
01:17:36,101 --> 01:17:39,451
Well, I'll tell you were phenomenal.
You absolutely were phenomenal.
1345
01:17:39,604 --> 01:17:42,565
I love the way you
handled those corporate attorneys.
1346
01:17:42,733 --> 01:17:44,192
- Four corporate attorneys.
- Four.
1347
01:17:44,317 --> 01:17:46,236
- Like a pro.
- Four, count 'em, four.
1348
01:17:46,361 --> 01:17:49,948
Like a pro. And I really liked
the eye-to-eye contact.
1349
01:17:50,073 --> 01:17:51,950
- Very impressive.
- That's all part of people skills.
1350
01:17:52,075 --> 01:17:53,827
Very impressive.
Absolutely.
1351
01:17:53,994 --> 01:17:57,414
- If I'm going to have any influence...
- SECRETARY: Good morning, Mr. Marshall.
1352
01:17:57,539 --> 01:17:58,791
Yeah.
1353
01:17:58,957 --> 01:18:00,125
Gonna have any influence on someone,
1354
01:18:00,250 --> 01:18:02,377
you've got to know
how to press their buttons.
1355
01:18:02,502 --> 01:18:05,631
By the way, have you noticed
how Roddy has been in the mornings?
1356
01:18:05,756 --> 01:18:07,174
He's been real nervous.
1357
01:18:07,299 --> 01:18:08,508
- Rodder?
- Yeah, he's...
1358
01:18:08,633 --> 01:18:10,468
- How did you notice that?
- You know, he used to pop
1359
01:18:10,593 --> 01:18:14,807
those vitamins and now he's into these
Rolaids and Tums.
1360
01:18:14,973 --> 01:18:18,894
[Street chuckles]
Well, the strain, the strain at the top.
1361
01:18:19,644 --> 01:18:22,397
STREET: My work as attorney
for the DHRC carried me
1362
01:18:22,522 --> 01:18:25,192
to considerably higher
echelons of power.
1363
01:18:26,234 --> 01:18:28,278
Hobnobbing with His Honor,
Mayor Coleman Young
1364
01:18:28,403 --> 01:18:31,031
- was an honor in itself.- How are you doing, today, Doug?
1365
01:18:31,156 --> 01:18:33,325
Alright, sir, fine.
How about yourself?
1366
01:18:33,491 --> 01:18:35,619
STREET: My connection
with Mayor Young was tenuous,
1367
01:18:35,744 --> 01:18:37,245
but he did remember my name.
1368
01:18:37,370 --> 01:18:41,584
- No complaints. Try me tomorrow.
- Right. Very good.
1369
01:18:41,709 --> 01:18:44,127
STREET: You know, politics might be
interesting.
1370
01:18:44,294 --> 01:18:46,421
REPORTER: Mayor Young.
STREET: "Poli-tricks."
1371
01:18:46,546 --> 01:18:48,048
[tape rewinding]
1372
01:18:48,757 --> 01:18:52,761
Every evening found me
working late, but do I mind?
1373
01:18:57,640 --> 01:19:00,560
Reviewing video depositions is easy.
1374
01:19:00,685 --> 01:19:04,231
Renewing broken lines of communication
between a husband and wife,
1375
01:19:04,356 --> 01:19:06,024
now that's hard.
1376
01:19:07,150 --> 01:19:10,028
Little things like pancake syrup
get in the way.
1377
01:19:10,195 --> 01:19:12,530
I didn't tell you to put that
much syrup on.
1378
01:19:13,365 --> 01:19:16,827
But I thought you'd like it.
That's why I added extra.
1379
01:19:18,746 --> 01:19:20,205
[insistent knocking on door]
1380
01:19:20,372 --> 01:19:21,957
I have a general rule of thumb.
1381
01:19:22,082 --> 01:19:24,709
Avoid answering
the door whenever possible.
1382
01:19:25,418 --> 01:19:27,462
[knocking continues]
1383
01:19:27,587 --> 01:19:31,466
How do you do? Is Mr. William
Douglas Street Jr. at home?
1384
01:19:32,009 --> 01:19:34,344
- Yes.
- And may that be you, sir?
1385
01:19:34,928 --> 01:19:36,179
Yes.
1386
01:19:36,346 --> 01:19:39,516
May we come in for
a little musical confection, sir?
1387
01:19:44,104 --> 01:19:48,108
- Yeah.
- Then this is for you.
1388
01:19:51,361 --> 01:19:53,613
[Group hums note]
1389
01:19:53,781 --> 01:19:56,574
♪ This message of musicSome for your amusement
1390
01:19:56,741 --> 01:19:59,411
♪ It's a happy anniversary
1391
01:19:59,536 --> 01:20:05,625
♪ I'm wishing you the best
And a happy anniversary
1392
01:20:05,793 --> 01:20:08,628
♪ Through all of the madness
I should cherish the gladness
1393
01:20:08,753 --> 01:20:14,384
♪ That your love has given to meSo deep, so sweet, so right
1394
01:20:14,551 --> 01:20:22,976
♪ For a happy anniversary
Happy anniversary
1395
01:20:23,143 --> 01:20:27,022
♪ Happy anniversary
1396
01:20:27,355 --> 01:20:33,195
♪ Here's to your future, my love
To my rose...
1397
01:20:33,361 --> 01:20:35,906
STREET: I remember the first moment
Gabrielle realized
1398
01:20:36,031 --> 01:20:38,075
it was not our anniversary.
1399
01:20:39,576 --> 01:20:47,417
♪ ...Anniversaries
Are the time to be in love
1400
01:20:51,046 --> 01:20:58,095
♪ Anniversaries
Are the time to be in love
1401
01:20:58,220 --> 01:21:02,015
♪ Signed, T.R.
1402
01:21:02,891 --> 01:21:04,142
Amina.
1403
01:21:05,393 --> 01:21:06,811
Hey, babe.
1404
01:21:07,770 --> 01:21:11,733
I wonder how long Gabrielle's gonna stay
locked up in the bathroom this time.
1405
01:21:12,734 --> 01:21:14,987
God, this marriage has gone sour.
1406
01:21:16,154 --> 01:21:18,698
Sour like cottage cheese gone bad.
1407
01:21:20,408 --> 01:21:22,452
There's too much tension around here.
1408
01:21:23,871 --> 01:21:26,706
And tension kills.
1409
01:21:26,831 --> 01:21:30,460
No matter what I do,
she's steady on my case.
1410
01:21:31,669 --> 01:21:37,425
All she does is nag nag, nag.
"Get a job, get a life, get a grip."
1411
01:21:37,550 --> 01:21:39,761
Yeah, grip this.
1412
01:21:43,265 --> 01:21:45,934
I don't know
if she's gonna like this toy.
1413
01:21:47,227 --> 01:21:50,230
It's really going to add
some spice to the game.
1414
01:21:51,481 --> 01:21:54,317
I wonder how much
Darren shelled out for this?
1415
01:21:56,361 --> 01:21:59,531
Oh God, Gabrielle is such a drag.
1416
01:21:59,697 --> 01:22:01,867
The only game she wants to play
is "Gimme."
1417
01:22:01,992 --> 01:22:05,287
"Gimme money,"
"Gimme a car," "Gimme Godiva chocolate."
1418
01:22:05,412 --> 01:22:07,497
"Gimme perfume."
"Gimme clothes."
1419
01:22:07,622 --> 01:22:09,207
Give me a break.
1420
01:22:12,252 --> 01:22:14,087
Danielle is getting to be
just like her.
1421
01:22:14,212 --> 01:22:17,049
"Gimme games."
"Gimme toys." "Gimme dance lessons."
1422
01:22:17,174 --> 01:22:18,967
"Gimme candy."
"Gimme Barbie."
1423
01:22:21,428 --> 01:22:23,055
Danielle?
1424
01:22:26,099 --> 01:22:27,809
Danielle?
1425
01:22:30,020 --> 01:22:36,109
Uh...
[sinister interior laugh]
1426
01:22:39,696 --> 01:22:41,281
Time to play.
1427
01:22:43,450 --> 01:22:44,701
Danielle?
1428
01:22:48,246 --> 01:22:50,498
Come to Papa.
1429
01:22:51,166 --> 01:23:02,635
[innocent toy piano music]
1430
01:23:20,070 --> 01:23:27,369
I'm going to... kill.
Yes, yes, yes.
1431
01:23:37,629 --> 01:23:42,009
- Daddy, look it's blood!
- Uh Huh.
1432
01:23:47,847 --> 01:23:51,351
Oh Daddy, why you do that?
1433
01:23:51,518 --> 01:23:55,730
- It's cause I'm sick.
- Sick?
1434
01:23:56,189 --> 01:24:00,485
I'm so sick.
I'm so...
1435
01:24:01,403 --> 01:24:04,531
Screwed up.
1436
01:24:05,365 --> 01:24:11,496
I am so insane.
1437
01:24:11,621 --> 01:24:13,123
So insane.
1438
01:24:13,831 --> 01:24:15,625
Does that tickle?
1439
01:24:15,833 --> 01:24:17,085
Does it tickle right there?
1440
01:24:17,210 --> 01:24:18,878
GABRIELLE: Why you two
so quiet out there?
1441
01:24:19,003 --> 01:24:23,425
Tell me. Tell me really.
Does it tickle like that?
1442
01:24:24,134 --> 01:24:30,723
Aha. But what about
if we tickle like this?
1443
01:24:30,848 --> 01:24:33,936
Oww! Oww!
1444
01:24:34,061 --> 01:24:37,564
Doug, what is going on?
What do you think you're doing?
1445
01:24:37,689 --> 01:24:40,067
Here, let me wipe that blood
off your neck.
1446
01:24:40,192 --> 01:24:42,735
I'm sick and tired of trying
to get these stains out.
1447
01:24:42,860 --> 01:24:48,741
- Oh, Mommy, you messed up the game!
- And your Daddy messed up more laundry.
1448
01:24:48,908 --> 01:24:50,910
Come on, it's time for you
to go to bed anyway.
1449
01:24:51,035 --> 01:24:53,246
And Doug, it's time for you
to go to the asylum.
1450
01:24:53,371 --> 01:24:54,998
This is the stuff that washes out.
1451
01:24:55,123 --> 01:24:57,973
GABRIELLE: Yeah, and I'm the one
that's gotta wash it out.
1452
01:25:00,295 --> 01:25:03,548
- Good night, babe.
- DANIELLE: Good night.
1453
01:25:08,345 --> 01:25:09,637
STREET:
That night in bed,
1454
01:25:09,762 --> 01:25:13,100
I suddenly realized she hadn't
mentioned money once.
1455
01:25:14,726 --> 01:25:18,521
She was finally accepting
the fact that money wasn't everything,
1456
01:25:18,688 --> 01:25:21,149
and even if it was,
that I didn't have any.
1457
01:25:25,903 --> 01:25:30,242
- Babe..
- Mmnh? What?
1458
01:25:30,658 --> 01:25:34,412
Can you see my eyes
moving under my eyelids?
1459
01:25:34,537 --> 01:25:36,080
Yes I can.
1460
01:25:37,540 --> 01:25:40,252
- Babe?
- What?
1461
01:25:40,543 --> 01:25:44,547
If you act real nice,
I'll let you kiss my booty.
1462
01:25:44,672 --> 01:25:47,049
Promises, promises.
1463
01:25:48,050 --> 01:25:52,847
Mmh, babe.
Your socks are kicking.
1464
01:25:53,014 --> 01:25:54,682
Kicking?
Kicking with what?
1465
01:25:54,849 --> 01:25:56,393
With odor.
1466
01:25:56,559 --> 01:26:03,191
Mmh...
[low chuckle]
1467
01:26:03,691 --> 01:26:06,068
STREET:
The next day I went to work fortified.
1468
01:26:06,736 --> 01:26:11,283
September 12th, 1985.
And I want to be very clear about this.
1469
01:26:11,574 --> 01:26:15,077
I am sitting on top
of the oyster that is my world.
1470
01:26:15,203 --> 01:26:19,291
I'm so happy all of my feelings
are registering as cliches.
1471
01:26:19,416 --> 01:26:24,504
I've got a song in my heart,
love on my lips, stuff like that.
1472
01:26:24,629 --> 01:26:27,132
I was totally
accepted by the Commission.
1473
01:26:27,257 --> 01:26:28,716
In fact, Mr. Marshall called me
1474
01:26:28,841 --> 01:26:31,428
a godsend in front
of the whole staff one day.
1475
01:26:34,514 --> 01:26:35,723
Speak on it, Mary.
1476
01:26:35,848 --> 01:26:38,393
MARY: Coffee is here. Would you care
for a sweet roll?
1477
01:26:38,518 --> 01:26:42,439
Mmh. Cut the sweet roll Mary,
who needs 600 empty calories?
1478
01:26:42,564 --> 01:26:45,817
- Send the coffee in this vicinity.
- Over and out.
1479
01:26:45,983 --> 01:26:47,151
Thank you...
1480
01:26:50,029 --> 01:26:54,242
Who knows, things might even work out
between Gabriel and me.
1481
01:26:54,784 --> 01:26:58,037
I hadn't told her that Mr Marshall
was about to put me on payroll-
1482
01:26:58,205 --> 01:27:00,122
that was going to be a surprise.
1483
01:27:03,167 --> 01:27:05,962
Some people call me "Mr. Wonderful,"
1484
01:27:06,128 --> 01:27:09,549
other people call me "wonderful,"
close friends call me...
1485
01:27:09,716 --> 01:27:12,260
- Doug!
- Yeah. Yeah they call me that, too.
1486
01:27:12,385 --> 01:27:14,804
William Douglas Street Jr.
1487
01:27:14,929 --> 01:27:16,181
VOICE OF DOCUMENTARY NARRATOR:
Born in a log cabin
1488
01:27:16,306 --> 01:27:17,765
in the backwoods of Kentucky,
1489
01:27:17,890 --> 01:27:21,644
young Douglas soon elevated
himself from field hand to Tiger,
1490
01:27:21,769 --> 01:27:25,107
from Tiger to reporter and from
reporter to doctor,
1491
01:27:25,232 --> 01:27:27,692
from doctor to coed,
from coed to attorney,
1492
01:27:27,817 --> 01:27:34,532
from attorney to Congressman,
from Congressman to President.
1493
01:27:35,242 --> 01:27:37,410
- I could play President.
- Doug.
1494
01:27:37,577 --> 01:27:38,661
Huh?
1495
01:27:38,828 --> 01:27:41,831
There's a state marshal
in the outer office asking for you.
1496
01:27:41,998 --> 01:27:44,751
He has 30 armed policemen with him.
1497
01:27:50,715 --> 01:27:53,718
- You are joking.
- No.
1498
01:27:53,843 --> 01:27:56,929
[phone ringing]
1499
01:27:58,222 --> 01:27:59,557
Yes Mary?
1500
01:27:59,682 --> 01:28:01,143
MARY: Mr. Street,
there are several gentlemen...
1501
01:28:01,268 --> 01:28:02,935
- here to see you.
- POLICE: Where's his office?
1502
01:28:03,060 --> 01:28:05,313
I'll be right out.
1503
01:28:12,362 --> 01:28:14,281
Fire exit.
1504
01:28:16,157 --> 01:28:17,409
Yeah.
1505
01:28:21,037 --> 01:28:22,955
[sighs]
1506
01:28:26,083 --> 01:28:28,044
[swoosh of guillotine]
1507
01:28:30,338 --> 01:28:32,382
[insistent knocking]
1508
01:28:34,926 --> 01:28:38,180
- William Douglas Street?
- Don't forget the Junior.
1509
01:28:38,305 --> 01:28:40,264
I have a warrant here for your arrest.
1510
01:28:45,437 --> 01:28:47,355
Would you step over here, please?
1511
01:28:51,568 --> 01:28:53,235
Put your hands against the wall.
1512
01:28:54,404 --> 01:28:56,072
Let's get rid of the cigarette.
1513
01:29:03,996 --> 01:29:10,127
[handcuffs clicking on]
1514
01:29:11,879 --> 01:29:14,424
Doug, is there anyone
you'd like me to call?
1515
01:29:14,549 --> 01:29:17,885
Yeah, I'd appreciate it
if you could call my wife.
1516
01:29:20,012 --> 01:29:24,351
The number is LV6-3600.
1517
01:29:25,727 --> 01:29:31,023
Gabrielle Street.
Tell her...
1518
01:29:31,190 --> 01:29:33,943
COLLEAGUE: Where you being taken?
1519
01:29:34,068 --> 01:29:35,945
Yeah, I don't know.
1520
01:29:36,195 --> 01:29:38,448
Where are you taking me?
1521
01:29:38,573 --> 01:29:40,783
You don't have to worry
about contacting your wife.
1522
01:29:40,908 --> 01:29:44,454
She knows where you're being taken.
She's in contact with us.
1523
01:29:46,247 --> 01:29:47,665
Gabrielle.
1524
01:29:47,790 --> 01:29:49,542
I do love you, Doug.
1525
01:29:49,667 --> 01:29:50,877
Gabrielle!
1526
01:29:52,379 --> 01:29:54,005
I do love you, Doug.
1527
01:29:55,339 --> 01:29:57,342
I do, I do, I do love you, Doug.
1528
01:29:57,467 --> 01:30:01,929
[Doug laughs]
1529
01:30:02,054 --> 01:30:03,556
Oh...
1530
01:30:03,681 --> 01:30:07,226
Freud spent a lifetime searching
for an answer to the question
1531
01:30:07,351 --> 01:30:09,145
"What does woman want?"
1532
01:30:09,270 --> 01:30:12,524
He died never having found the answer,
but I've got the answer.
1533
01:30:12,649 --> 01:30:15,777
I know what woman wants,
and it's not pantyhose either.
1534
01:30:15,902 --> 01:30:17,153
It's blood.
1535
01:30:17,654 --> 01:30:19,363
I do love you, Doug.
1536
01:30:20,532 --> 01:30:24,160
[laughs maniacally]
1537
01:30:26,078 --> 01:30:27,705
DETECTIVE: Shall we go?
1538
01:30:27,830 --> 01:30:30,124
I'd like to take something with me.
1539
01:30:30,249 --> 01:30:31,501
What's that?
1540
01:30:32,419 --> 01:30:35,547
Those two books on my desk by the lamp.
1541
01:30:35,672 --> 01:30:37,131
DETECTIVE: Alright.
1542
01:30:43,471 --> 01:30:51,813
[haunting merry-go-round music]
1543
01:31:21,217 --> 01:31:25,722
Once upon a time it rained 9 or 10,
maybe 9 inches in the forest
1544
01:31:25,847 --> 01:31:27,974
and a lot of the pathways that
the animals used
1545
01:31:28,099 --> 01:31:30,477
for walking around were flooded.
1546
01:31:30,602 --> 01:31:31,853
Have you got that?
1547
01:31:32,144 --> 01:31:35,272
So, like, it's a major disaster area.
1548
01:31:35,773 --> 01:31:37,817
And the scorpion, you see,
1549
01:31:37,942 --> 01:31:39,569
he's searching for some way,
1550
01:31:39,694 --> 01:31:40,487
any way,
1551
01:31:40,612 --> 01:31:42,113
to get across the stream,
1552
01:31:42,238 --> 01:31:44,156
which was now very much like a river
1553
01:31:44,281 --> 01:31:46,409
because of the heavy precipitation.
1554
01:31:46,534 --> 01:31:48,911
Now the scorpion being a scorpion
couldn't swim
1555
01:31:49,036 --> 01:31:50,913
and he was standing by the edge
of the water talking about it.
1556
01:31:51,038 --> 01:31:52,081
Uh-oh.
1557
01:31:52,206 --> 01:31:54,376
The scorpion felt enormous
psychological and
1558
01:31:54,501 --> 01:31:56,252
-psychosomatic
-Pressure.
1559
01:31:56,377 --> 01:31:58,337
How can he ever get across
the surging rivers
1560
01:31:58,462 --> 01:32:00,923
skedaddle back home
to his mom and his dad
1561
01:32:01,048 --> 01:32:02,467
and his apartment, his 45's,
1562
01:32:02,592 --> 01:32:04,218
and his personal computer
and his destiny?
1563
01:32:04,343 --> 01:32:06,804
Which is to sting your ass!
1564
01:32:06,929 --> 01:32:08,473
Ow.
1565
01:32:08,598 --> 01:32:11,100
In any case, the scorpion is so worried
1566
01:32:11,225 --> 01:32:12,268
he's beside himself,
1567
01:32:12,393 --> 01:32:13,728
his favorite position.
1568
01:32:13,853 --> 01:32:17,148
And then all at once a frog
appeared alongside the scorpion.
1569
01:32:17,273 --> 01:32:18,650
And the frog said,
1570
01:32:18,775 --> 01:32:21,528
- "the rain was truly radical.
- I see you later."
1571
01:32:21,653 --> 01:32:22,987
And then the Scorpion
said, "wait a minute,
1572
01:32:23,112 --> 01:32:24,614
wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute!
1573
01:32:24,739 --> 01:32:26,783
How are you going to get across?"
1574
01:32:26,908 --> 01:32:28,409
And the frog said,
1575
01:32:29,619 --> 01:32:31,370
"I'm going to swim across."
1576
01:32:31,495 --> 01:32:32,580
So,
1577
01:32:32,705 --> 01:32:36,834
the scorpion brightened up considerably,
because he had an idea.
1578
01:32:36,959 --> 01:32:40,004
Okay, Frog,
you give me a ride on your back
1579
01:32:40,129 --> 01:32:43,466
when we get to the other side,
I'll reimburse you with some chips.
1580
01:32:43,591 --> 01:32:44,842
"I got your chip."
1581
01:32:45,009 --> 01:32:47,136
But the frog wasn't exactly a moron.
1582
01:32:47,303 --> 01:32:51,849
The frog was stupid.
He said, "I'm comatose.
1583
01:32:51,974 --> 01:32:53,184
How are you?"
1584
01:32:53,309 --> 01:32:54,561
And the frog said:
1585
01:32:54,686 --> 01:32:57,188
"If I give you a ride,
then you'll sting me and I'll die.
1586
01:32:57,313 --> 01:33:00,024
And then everybody
will come to my funeral and say,
1587
01:33:00,149 --> 01:33:02,527
'he really was a moron, wasn't he?'"
1588
01:33:02,652 --> 01:33:05,029
And the Scorpion said,
"Trust me."
1589
01:33:05,154 --> 01:33:06,530
Yeah, right.
1590
01:33:08,032 --> 01:33:09,909
"You know you can trust me.
1591
01:33:10,034 --> 01:33:13,079
Why would I sting you
when you're saving my life?"
1592
01:33:13,204 --> 01:33:16,749
The frog stopped and thought.
The Scorpion's logic was irrefutable.
1593
01:33:16,916 --> 01:33:19,126
Even Mr Spock couldn't argue with that.
1594
01:33:19,293 --> 01:33:21,378
It would be crazy to bite
the hand that fed you
1595
01:33:21,503 --> 01:33:23,965
or in this case sting the back
that bore you.
1596
01:33:24,090 --> 01:33:25,299
The frog said,
1597
01:33:25,424 --> 01:33:27,093
"Alright, hop on,
1598
01:33:27,218 --> 01:33:29,596
But this is going
to cost you a lot of chips."
1599
01:33:29,721 --> 01:33:33,307
"Oh yes, I know I know,"
whispered the scorpion, gratefully,
1600
01:33:33,432 --> 01:33:37,604
as he delicately positioned
himself squarely on top of the frog.
1601
01:33:37,729 --> 01:33:40,607
The frog leaped into the stream
with the scorpion on his back.
1602
01:33:40,732 --> 01:33:42,484
He had to swim real real hard,
1603
01:33:42,609 --> 01:33:44,318
'cause the current was against him.
1604
01:33:44,443 --> 01:33:46,613
When the frog was halfway across,
1605
01:33:46,738 --> 01:33:48,698
he began to feel a little tired,
1606
01:33:48,823 --> 01:33:51,283
but he kept going anyway.
1607
01:33:51,868 --> 01:33:54,787
This is where
those aerobics classes paid off.
1608
01:33:54,912 --> 01:33:58,249
And then the scorpion stung the frog
with his deadly poisonous stinger.
1609
01:33:58,374 --> 01:33:59,626
Big deal.
1610
01:33:59,751 --> 01:34:03,129
Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!
1611
01:34:03,254 --> 01:34:05,673
The frog could feel
the poison numb his arms and legs.
1612
01:34:05,798 --> 01:34:07,299
They began to stiffen up.
1613
01:34:07,424 --> 01:34:08,968
"I could just d-i-e die."
1614
01:34:09,093 --> 01:34:10,720
"Don't worry, you will."
1615
01:34:10,845 --> 01:34:12,054
He began to sink.
1616
01:34:12,179 --> 01:34:13,014
Yikes!
1617
01:34:13,139 --> 01:34:16,893
Before he did, he had to ask
the scorpion one question.
1618
01:34:17,018 --> 01:34:18,936
"Why, why, why,
1619
01:34:19,061 --> 01:34:20,479
why did you do it, you fool?
1620
01:34:20,604 --> 01:34:22,398
Now we're both going to die!
1621
01:34:22,523 --> 01:34:24,150
What could you have been thinking of?
1622
01:34:24,275 --> 01:34:25,568
- What?
- Why?"
1623
01:34:25,693 --> 01:34:28,237
Right before they sank to their death,
1624
01:34:28,404 --> 01:34:31,658
the scorpion kinda shrugged and said:
1625
01:34:32,199 --> 01:34:35,411
"Well because,
it's my character."
122719
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