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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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"Estelle Dubroff,
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a devoted mother and grandmother,
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is survived by..."
I still can't believe this,
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"... 16 children and 49 grandchildren."
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How do you remember all their names?
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- Patience, love...
- Oh.
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... and name tags.
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Lots of name tags.
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A... Are you thinking
of having children?
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Ah, well. I... You know.
Don't get me wrong. I love kids.
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I guess I'm in a place
in my life right now
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where it feels like children might
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not be in the cards for me, you know?
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- Mmm.
- I know, I know, I should...
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Don't let it happen.
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- I'm sorry, come again?
- Save your vagina.
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My vagina? Oh, I...
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Talking to my doctor. Yeah.
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- Wow. I was not expecting that.
- Sixteen kids.
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- That's 16 trips down one canal.
- Oh.
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Do you know what that does
to your body? For the first...
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No, trust me, I have a
great imagination.
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But you love them, right?
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Of course. Do you know who else I love?
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My nieces and nephews.
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Do yourself a favor.
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Be an aunt.
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You get all the fun stuff
and none of the hard stuff.
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So, you gonna send me off now, or...
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Yeah. Sounds like
you could use a little me time.
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Oh, yeah.
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Attention, hirelings.
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Please give a warm welcome
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to the tallest and most powerful
presence in any space,
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my father, your work father,
Duncan Rhodes.
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Hello, hello, my essential workers.
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I have some very exciting news about me.
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It turns out that I will be awarded
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the Spirit in Journalism
Lifetime Achievement Award.
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Yes! He shoots, he Duncans!
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Sports.
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So, it just goes to show
that if you work hard
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and have a lot of money
and sabotage your rivals,
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one day, your entire lifetime
could be an achievement
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deserving of an award.
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Oh, hold on.
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It seems Father may not be the only one
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garnering some recognition.
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Everyone, check your emails.
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Oh, my God. I've been
nominated for an award.
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What? I was nominated too!
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I didn't get an e-mail.
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Not even in my spam folder or anything.
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Maybe I need to stand close
to the router.
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So, if you need me, I'll be looking into
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how to parlay this success
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into a run for public office.
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Because remember,
sky's the limit when you're me.
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Okay. Thank you.
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This is so stressful.
Keith is out of town.
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His mom can only handle one baby
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- at a time, so I need to find a sitter.
- Oh, tell me about it.
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Ben is also out of town,
so we need to find a s... sitter.
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- No, don't! No, no!
- Yes, yes.
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I never should have shared
my sitter information with you.
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Yes!
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Ashley comes through for the Den-Bens.
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Aw. Don't make that face. Your sacrifice
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will not be forgotten.
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Hey, if you need somebody
to watch the kids,
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fun Aunt Nell's
got a lot of fun to give.
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Ooh, yes. Yes, I love this. Yeah! Yes!
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Okay, so, I will leave the baby
with Keith's mom.
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And Tilly has been feeling
jealous about her baby brother,
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so she could use some one-on-one time
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with her favorite auntie. Perfect!
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Awesome. Yeah, Tills is my best bestie.
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She really gets me, you know?
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Plus, I've been itching for an excuse
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- to wear that princess dress again.
- Mmm.
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Because I'm not just her godmother...
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... I'm a fairy godmother.
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I'm gonna make her an offer
she can't refuse.
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Something tells me you've never seen
The Godfather.
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Really? I... How do you figure?
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What do you think, Arthur?
You like my fort?
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Top-notch, huh?
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A bra?
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What's all this?
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I'm building a princess fort.
Tilly's coming over.
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What's all this?
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Belongs to my lady friend.
Would've been nice to get a
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heads-up that a child was coming over.
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Would've been nice
to get a heads-up that
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you're hooking up on our communal couch.
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Disgusting. I don't love it.
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Who is this person anyway?
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Can't tell you.
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Signed an NDA.
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They're definitely famous. Come on.
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Is it Selena Gomez? Judy Blume?
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Martha Stewart? Are you her new Snoop?
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I appreciate you understanding
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that I could woo this caliber
of women, Nell.
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However, I can't confirm,
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nor can I deny, any of your assumptions.
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Fine. Why do you even care
that a kid's coming over?
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I thought you were going out
tonight with Charlize?
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Nice try. My lover's busy,
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which means I will be playing
Star Rim all night,
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which also means I will be
commandeering your fort.
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Don't worry. Tilly and I will stay
out of your gross, sex-swept hair.
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I have lots of fun activities planned
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because I am fun Aunt Nell.
Deejay Air Horn.
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Oh!
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- Hey, bestie!
- Hi, bestie!
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Arthur!
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Thank you again for watching her
on such short notice.
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Don't thank me.
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Thank the Spirit In Journalism Committee
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for failing to recognize my work.
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Now you take that shimmer eye
and that sweet peach for a spin.
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This one? Mmm.
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Tilly!
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All right, Princess Tillifer
of the House of Tilly,
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shall we stroll the village and grace
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the commoners with your presence?
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Sorry, Aunt Nell, I... I'm not really
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into this princess stuff anymore.
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I think I just wanna read on the couch.
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Oh, okay. Yeah.
Reading is great, you know.
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I'm into it. Let's get lit-erature.
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I'm gonna go change
real quick, you know?
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This dress doesn't let me breathe.
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Isn't this wonderful?
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We're finally getting
the recognition we deserve,
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like Jennifer Coolidge,
or brussels sprouts.
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- Do I have a back crease?
- It's corduroy. It's one giant crease.
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Look at me, though.
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I am out in the world.
I am enjoying myself.
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I'm on my second martini
and I'm feeling...
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Oh, God, no. I'm actually
feeling quite nauseous.
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- I should slow down, hey? Yeah.
- Yeah. Maybe slow down a little.
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Well, I am so proud of both of you.
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And no matter what happens here tonight,
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the fact that you were both nom...
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Clap!
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What?
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Thank you. Oh! Who's this hottie?
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Hello, Father. Yes, it's to scale.
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I wish I was that thin.
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Isn't this exciting?
Your first Lifetime Achievement Award,
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and you're 15 years younger
than when Rupert got his.
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You always think it's gonna be amazing
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when you make your first ten million
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or you buy your second island.
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But I have to tell you,
it pales in comparison
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to being recognized
with a sit-down dinner.
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Now, I know
what Gandhi must have felt like
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if Gandhi had a full head of hair.
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I'm better Gandhi.
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Yes, you are, Father.
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Clap for better Gandhi!
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Okay, bestie!
So, I didn't find any books,
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but I did find a Glamour mag
that is three years old,
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but I think it should probably
hold up, but, um...
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Uh, Tilly? Is this boring
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man forcing you to play some dumb game?
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- She wanted to play.
- What?
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And she's been surprisingly helpful.
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She found a break
in the space-time continuum.
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I play Star Rim with my dad
when he's home,
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so I know all the shortcuts.
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But, um, wouldn't you
rather do some TikTok dances?
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We can even do a lift this time.
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I went on a date with a chiropractor.
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He taught me how to engage my core,
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so I won't hurt my back again.
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But we're almost at the outer cosmos.
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Oh, cool. Cool, cool,
cool, cool, cool. Yeah.
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Fun Aunt Nell knows how to pivot.
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Here we go.
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So, is that an alien, or just a...
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Shh.
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How long is this game?
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How big is the universe?
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Oh! She's about to land our pod
on the landing dock!
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- Yes!
- Good game.
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Good game.
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Oh, that's, um,
that's our secret handshake.
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00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:49,797
But, I gue... I mean, it's not a secret
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anymore, 'cause you guys just did it.
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Anyway, it's fine.
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00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,234
Um, so, do you want to revisit
those TikTok dances?
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00:07:56,337 --> 00:07:59,755
I just learned a BTS dance. Girl.
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00:07:59,858 --> 00:08:02,102
That's kind of cringe, Aunt Nell.
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00:08:02,205 --> 00:08:04,932
Yeah, I feel the same way.
I was just saying it ironically.
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00:08:05,036 --> 00:08:06,347
Anything else you wanna do, Tills?
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00:08:06,451 --> 00:08:09,005
Well, I have been wanting
to open up a restaurant.
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00:08:09,109 --> 00:08:11,042
Ooh, top-chef Tilly in the house.
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00:08:11,145 --> 00:08:14,079
Can I get a table for one, please?
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00:08:14,183 --> 00:08:15,874
- Edward?
- I could eat.
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00:08:15,978 --> 00:08:17,704
Right this way.
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00:08:18,705 --> 00:08:21,604
I'll be back to take your order.
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00:08:21,708 --> 00:08:23,537
Mm-hmm.
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00:08:23,641 --> 00:08:25,194
Okay, I don't know what kind of wizardry
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you're doing on the little kid,
but, um...
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00:08:27,403 --> 00:08:28,784
... Tilly was always all about me.
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00:08:28,887 --> 00:08:31,959
And I don't know why she
suddenly is into you more.
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00:08:32,063 --> 00:08:33,374
Kids can be weird.
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00:08:33,478 --> 00:08:35,014
Maybe one day,
your kids will like you more.
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00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,482
Yeah, I mean, if I even have any.
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I assumed as much.
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00:08:39,588 --> 00:08:41,451
You assumed? You assumed.
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00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,626
I am so sorry.
Why would you assume that?
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00:08:43,730 --> 00:08:47,216
Well, for starters, your living
situation and your job situation.
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00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:49,321
Also, you have a lack of urgency
to find a mate.
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00:08:49,425 --> 00:08:51,876
Because I'm not desperate.
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00:08:51,979 --> 00:08:53,153
If it happens, it happens.
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00:08:53,256 --> 00:08:55,258
Oof. That's kind of a flawed way
of looking at things,
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00:08:55,362 --> 00:08:57,985
considering at your age,
pregnancy is labeled geriatric,
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00:08:58,089 --> 00:09:01,471
and your odds of conceiving dwindling
by the menstrual cycle.
223
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,784
At this rate, your fertility
window isn't really closing,
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00:09:03,888 --> 00:09:05,614
it's kinda painted shut.
225
00:09:07,477 --> 00:09:09,100
- Welcome to Chez Tilly.
- Uh.
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00:09:09,203 --> 00:09:12,586
May I start you off with some water?
Sparkling or flat?
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00:09:12,690 --> 00:09:15,520
Tap. She's trying to upsell us already.
228
00:09:15,624 --> 00:09:17,798
Can I be seated
at another table, please?
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00:09:17,902 --> 00:09:20,180
Sorry. We're fully accommodated tonight.
230
00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:24,805
Crawfish at this time of the year?
231
00:09:24,909 --> 00:09:27,774
Color me skeptical, but I'll try it.
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00:09:29,741 --> 00:09:33,607
I cannot believe
my lifetime is being awarded.
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00:09:33,711 --> 00:09:35,816
Congratulations on sitting next to me.
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00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:37,473
You must have done something right.
235
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,544
Thank you, Mr. Rhodes.
I really needed to hear that,
236
00:09:39,648 --> 00:09:41,995
because I'm actually thinking
of what I might say in case I win.
237
00:09:42,098 --> 00:09:43,790
Something like, "It's a honor."
238
00:09:44,342 --> 00:09:48,311
An? An honor? A... A hon-or?
239
00:09:48,415 --> 00:09:50,175
Oh, no. I've said it so many times,
240
00:09:50,279 --> 00:09:51,556
now it doesn't make sense in my mouth.
241
00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:53,696
Oh, you're a nervous
little fellow, aren't you?
242
00:09:55,146 --> 00:09:56,285
Hey, Duncan's portion
243
00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:58,321
seems a little bit
bigger than the rest of ours.
244
00:09:58,425 --> 00:10:00,772
I mean, I could eat this steak
in, like, two bites.
245
00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:02,532
Oh, it makes total sense, Sam.
246
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:05,397
He got the rib eye,
you got the mini mignon.
247
00:10:05,501 --> 00:10:08,953
Huh. Also, I don't recognize anyone else
248
00:10:09,056 --> 00:10:10,575
nominated in my category.
249
00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:12,542
I mean, except for maybe
that guy over there
250
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:15,338
who I'm pretty sure is
from a GEICO commercial.
251
00:10:15,442 --> 00:10:17,133
Oh, yes. What a shame.
252
00:10:17,237 --> 00:10:18,701
So many journalists have to take on
253
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,827
commercial work to make ends meet.
254
00:10:20,930 --> 00:10:24,037
- It's really the sad state of journalism.
- Uh-huh.
255
00:10:24,140 --> 00:10:26,487
Um, gentle reminder, Ms. Rhodes,
256
00:10:26,591 --> 00:10:28,837
um, you only booked the space
until 9:00 p.m.
257
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,802
- Yes.
- We have an AA meeting coming in next.
258
00:10:30,906 --> 00:10:32,873
- We're gonna need time to...
- I'm aware of the schedule. Yes.
259
00:10:32,977 --> 00:10:35,738
We will be gone in time,
you jackal! Get out of here.
260
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,604
- How much of that did you hear?
- How much do you think?
261
00:10:39,708 --> 00:10:41,606
- So, all of it.
- Mm-hmm.
262
00:10:41,710 --> 00:10:43,021
We'll be right back, Father.
263
00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:45,852
Boy, get another picture
of my father eating.
264
00:10:47,094 --> 00:10:48,613
Mr. Rhodes, please, over here.
265
00:10:50,339 --> 00:10:51,720
Okay, fine. It's all fake.
266
00:10:51,823 --> 00:10:53,618
The awards aren't real.
I just paid for it all.
267
00:10:53,722 --> 00:10:55,516
The space, the dinner,
the other nominees...
268
00:10:55,620 --> 00:10:57,587
I mean, the emcee's my mechanic
who owed me a favor.
269
00:10:57,691 --> 00:10:58,934
Why would you do this?
270
00:10:59,037 --> 00:11:00,452
'Cause I wanted my dad to see
271
00:11:00,556 --> 00:11:02,662
how well the paper
was being run under my charge.
272
00:11:02,765 --> 00:11:05,043
And to give my friends
a night to remember.
273
00:11:05,147 --> 00:11:07,667
The winner of Metro Editor of the year,
274
00:11:07,770 --> 00:11:10,359
Dennis Simbeaux-Jones.
275
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,775
Oh, it's happening! I'm happening!
276
00:11:12,879 --> 00:11:16,641
This is the greatest night of my life.
277
00:11:20,127 --> 00:11:22,140
What? Have you talked to him recently?
278
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:24,649
- He really needs this.
- Alexis.
279
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,862
Nell, could you stop? Stop!
Stop with the noise...
280
00:11:30,966 --> 00:11:31,966
Hmm?
281
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,347
... please. You don't even
need a knife with that salmon.
282
00:11:33,347 --> 00:11:34,383
It's smooth as butter.
283
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:36,419
Oh, can you not tell me
how to eat my food?
284
00:11:36,523 --> 00:11:37,904
And if you must know, I was actually
285
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,284
using the knife on the cauliflower
286
00:11:39,388 --> 00:11:41,045
which is a bit undercooked.
287
00:11:41,148 --> 00:11:43,116
Is everyone enjoying their meal?
288
00:11:43,219 --> 00:11:44,911
Oh, yes. The food is so yummy.
289
00:11:45,014 --> 00:11:46,464
Okay, where do I begin?
290
00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:50,088
At this price point, the branzino,
it shouldn't have bones.
291
00:11:50,192 --> 00:11:51,918
I'm so sorry, sir.
292
00:11:52,021 --> 00:11:54,921
Also, I ordered linguine,
and, here, take a look.
293
00:11:57,406 --> 00:11:59,304
You see that? It sticks.
294
00:11:59,408 --> 00:12:01,893
When it sticks to the wall,
it means it's overcooked.
295
00:12:01,997 --> 00:12:03,412
I am so sorry, sir.
296
00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,621
I'll take this right back
and speak to Chef.
297
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,105
Thank you.
298
00:12:07,899 --> 00:12:10,799
- Can I try some of your squash?
- What...
299
00:12:10,902 --> 00:12:13,318
Do you ever stop to think
about what you're gonna say
300
00:12:13,422 --> 00:12:14,492
before you say it?
301
00:12:14,595 --> 00:12:16,736
And how, maybe,
what you say might hurt people?
302
00:12:16,839 --> 00:12:17,839
Critiques are necessary
303
00:12:17,909 --> 00:12:19,808
if she wants to run
a successful restaurant
304
00:12:19,911 --> 00:12:22,086
- in this economy.
- That isn't...
305
00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:26,124
Your soufflé, sir. On the house.
306
00:12:27,643 --> 00:12:29,093
Now we're talking. Thank you.
307
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:31,785
Looks moist, fluffy.
308
00:12:31,889 --> 00:12:34,961
You know the secret to
a stable soufflé? Older eggs.
309
00:12:35,064 --> 00:12:37,590
It... That's so
interesting. It's so interesting...
310
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,104
So, what you're saying is that
you like older eggs in your dessert,
311
00:12:40,207 --> 00:12:42,831
but not in your human women?
Did I get that right?
312
00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:44,729
I'll go get your check.
313
00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:47,387
I'm starting to think
this isn't about the soufflé.
314
00:12:48,837 --> 00:12:49,838
You think?
315
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:56,499
Thank you for this incredible honor.
316
00:12:56,603 --> 00:12:59,399
Sam, you can't leave now. They
haven't announced your award yet.
317
00:12:59,502 --> 00:13:02,022
What award? None of this is real.
318
00:13:02,126 --> 00:13:03,629
I actually have a lot going on at home
319
00:13:03,629 --> 00:13:05,370
right now, okay? I
really don't need this.
320
00:13:05,474 --> 00:13:06,682
I know and I'm sorry.
321
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:10,168
I thought if I dedicated an entire night
322
00:13:10,272 --> 00:13:11,480
to my father winning an award,
323
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,241
then finally he would say
"thank you" to me.
324
00:13:14,345 --> 00:13:19,039
And the winner
for Best Style Editor goes to
325
00:13:19,143 --> 00:13:20,903
Sam Holkar.
326
00:13:23,319 --> 00:13:26,081
Okay, fine. But now you owe me
lots and lots of...
327
00:13:26,184 --> 00:13:27,530
Something I haven't thought of yet.
328
00:13:27,634 --> 00:13:29,222
Thank you. But keep your speech short.
329
00:13:29,325 --> 00:13:30,810
The AA people are eyeing the bar,
330
00:13:30,913 --> 00:13:33,329
and I would hate to be the cause
of another relapse.
331
00:13:34,572 --> 00:13:36,988
- Thanks.
- I don't know why you're so upset.
332
00:13:37,092 --> 00:13:38,196
I'm just stating facts.
333
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:40,026
Well, your facts are rude.
334
00:13:40,129 --> 00:13:43,236
Fact, facts can't be rude.
Facts can only be facts.
335
00:13:43,339 --> 00:13:45,074
Rude is your interpretation
of the facts,
336
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,377
which, again, they're just facts.
337
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:51,244
No, rude is your dumb mouth
which spouts your dumb facts.
338
00:13:51,347 --> 00:13:52,728
Now that's actually rude.
339
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,041
What do you want me to do?
Do you want me to lie to you
340
00:13:55,144 --> 00:13:57,284
and say that you have billions
and billions of eggs,
341
00:13:57,388 --> 00:13:59,769
and you could have a baby
until you're 90 or something?
342
00:14:03,704 --> 00:14:08,019
Nell! That's a '97 Syrah and you
just two-buck-chucked it at me!
343
00:14:08,123 --> 00:14:11,540
Well, you're lucky it's not
the fork, which is real!
344
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:13,231
Stop it!
345
00:14:13,335 --> 00:14:14,957
Why is everybody always fighting?
346
00:14:15,061 --> 00:14:17,304
Can't we just have one nice dinner?
347
00:14:18,064 --> 00:14:20,135
- Oh.
- It'd be nice if we could taste
348
00:14:20,238 --> 00:14:21,619
a little of that passion in the food.
349
00:14:28,281 --> 00:14:30,041
Hey, Tilly, sweetie, you all right?
350
00:14:32,630 --> 00:14:33,631
Are you upset?
351
00:14:36,047 --> 00:14:38,153
Was it Edward?
352
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:41,501
Was it me?
353
00:14:42,053 --> 00:14:44,435
- Mm-mmm.
- Is it your baby brother?
354
00:14:45,056 --> 00:14:46,955
He sucks, but no.
355
00:14:47,058 --> 00:14:49,750
Okay. Well,
if you wanna talk about it, I'm here.
356
00:14:49,854 --> 00:14:52,063
Or we don't have to talk
about it if you don't want to.
357
00:14:52,167 --> 00:14:54,514
I could just sit here with you.
358
00:14:54,617 --> 00:14:58,000
Whenever Daddy's home,
Mommy and Daddy fight
359
00:14:58,104 --> 00:14:59,899
like how you guys were fighting.
360
00:15:00,002 --> 00:15:04,662
Mommy pretends everything
is okay, but I know it's not.
361
00:15:06,491 --> 00:15:08,252
Oh, sweetie. Wow.
362
00:15:09,874 --> 00:15:11,186
I'm so sorry.
363
00:15:11,289 --> 00:15:13,774
I mean, is that why you wanted
to play Star Rim?
364
00:15:13,878 --> 00:15:15,535
So that you can feel close to Daddy?
365
00:15:15,638 --> 00:15:17,813
I think Mommy and Daddy fight
366
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,920
because I fight my brother
and they're mad at me.
367
00:15:21,023 --> 00:15:24,026
No. No, no, no. Tilly. Come here.
368
00:15:25,441 --> 00:15:29,031
That is not your fault, okay?
369
00:15:29,894 --> 00:15:31,137
If Mommy and Daddy are fighting,
370
00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,449
that has nothing to do with you.
371
00:15:33,553 --> 00:15:36,797
And they love you so much.
You're the best thing...
372
00:15:36,901 --> 00:15:38,385
... that ever happened to them.
373
00:15:39,455 --> 00:15:41,181
- You know how I know?
- How?
374
00:15:41,285 --> 00:15:43,839
Because they tell me, like,
all the time.
375
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:47,670
They're like, "Tills, she is
the best. I love Tilly so much.
376
00:15:47,774 --> 00:15:50,570
If Tilly were ice cream, she would
be my favorite flavor."
377
00:15:50,673 --> 00:15:52,468
And I happen to think
378
00:15:52,572 --> 00:15:54,194
that your parents
have some really great taste,
379
00:15:54,298 --> 00:15:56,956
because you're my favorite flavor.
380
00:15:57,059 --> 00:15:58,233
I'm just gonna take scoops out of you.
381
00:15:58,336 --> 00:15:59,667
Let me just get a little bite of this.
382
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:02,375
Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
383
00:16:02,478 --> 00:16:05,757
Sorry we didn't do all
the fun stuff we usually do.
384
00:16:05,861 --> 00:16:07,690
Oh, I'm not here for just that.
385
00:16:09,175 --> 00:16:10,176
Yeah, I mean,
386
00:16:11,073 --> 00:16:12,247
I'm here for all of it.
387
00:16:14,387 --> 00:16:16,416
Nell, I actually don't think TikTok
388
00:16:16,416 --> 00:16:18,908
dances are cringe
when you're doing them.
389
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,324
Right?
390
00:16:20,427 --> 00:16:23,741
Oh, I got the moves. You know it.
391
00:16:28,608 --> 00:16:29,919
Speaking of thanks,
392
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:33,578
there's a lot of folks
I would like to thank tonight.
393
00:16:33,682 --> 00:16:35,201
Ma'am, we really need to...
394
00:16:35,304 --> 00:16:36,512
This is it.
395
00:16:36,616 --> 00:16:39,895
Carl, my accountant,
your work offshore and on
396
00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:42,760
has been nothing short of tremendous.
397
00:16:42,863 --> 00:16:44,348
It's ten after 9:00.
398
00:16:44,451 --> 00:16:46,695
- The AA people are breathing down...
- Just give me one more minute.
399
00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:50,388
My stylist, Jacques... Oh, my goodness.
400
00:16:50,492 --> 00:16:52,563
Merci beaucoup, my friend.
401
00:16:52,666 --> 00:16:57,119
And finally, someone
who is quite literally
402
00:16:57,223 --> 00:16:59,294
the reason we are all here tonight,
403
00:16:59,397 --> 00:17:03,746
without whom, none of this
could've been possible.
404
00:17:03,850 --> 00:17:05,300
This is it.
405
00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:12,652
Johannes Gutenberg, the
inventor of the printing press.
406
00:17:13,860 --> 00:17:16,311
I just learned that. Yeah.
407
00:17:16,966 --> 00:17:19,279
Okay. Wow. Heavy.
408
00:17:19,383 --> 00:17:21,109
Thank you. Good night.
409
00:17:21,212 --> 00:17:22,213
Tear it all down.
410
00:17:28,323 --> 00:17:33,431
Hey. Um, call me crazy,
but I think my award is peeling
411
00:17:33,535 --> 00:17:37,470
and, uh... and underneath,
it says, um, "Number One Dad"
412
00:17:37,573 --> 00:17:42,578
which is... I don't wanna
cry again. But, um...
413
00:17:43,786 --> 00:17:45,823
You know... Let's circle back
to this fun day.
414
00:17:45,926 --> 00:17:47,135
Have a good night.
415
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:50,828
So how'd it go?
416
00:17:50,931 --> 00:17:54,935
- The entire ceremony was fake.
- What?
417
00:17:55,039 --> 00:17:56,868
Lexi concocted the entire thing
to impress her father.
418
00:17:56,972 --> 00:17:58,146
That's insane. I know, insane.
419
00:17:58,249 --> 00:18:00,079
But totally on-brand. On-brand and sad.
420
00:18:00,182 --> 00:18:01,942
Hey, so, if it makes
you feel any better...
421
00:18:01,942 --> 00:18:03,499
- Uh-huh?
- ... we had fake dinner tonight.
422
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:06,775
Ooh, she finally got Chez Tilly
off the ground. Good for her.
423
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:09,295
Yeah, soft opening. But it was nice.
424
00:18:09,398 --> 00:18:11,676
- How's she doing? Where is she?
- She's asleep in my room.
425
00:18:11,780 --> 00:18:13,333
- Oh.
- Wait, wait, wait. Wait, real quick.
426
00:18:13,437 --> 00:18:14,817
- Hmm?
- Um.
427
00:18:14,921 --> 00:18:18,062
So we had, like, a little talk earlier
428
00:18:18,166 --> 00:18:20,433
and, um, she kinda told me that
429
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,893
you and Keith are not in the best place.
430
00:18:23,688 --> 00:18:24,827
Wow.
431
00:18:26,174 --> 00:18:28,383
Nothing gets past that kid, huh?
432
00:18:28,486 --> 00:18:31,662
Is he in San Francisco because
of work or because of you guys?
433
00:18:32,697 --> 00:18:34,285
- A little bit of both.
- Oh.
434
00:18:34,389 --> 00:18:36,460
Yeah, he's up there 'cause
he's gotta work longer,
435
00:18:36,563 --> 00:18:39,739
and we are taking some time apart
until we figure things out.
436
00:18:39,842 --> 00:18:44,813
Whoa, mama. I am so sorry.
I... I had no idea.
437
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:48,368
It's been really hard trying
to handle all of it on my own.
438
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:53,580
I'm here. I got you.
You're not on your own.
439
00:18:53,684 --> 00:18:56,100
- I know.
- No, you have to know that.
440
00:18:56,204 --> 00:18:59,034
I am here for you for whatever you need.
441
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,001
You know, especially
when it comes to the kids.
442
00:19:01,105 --> 00:19:02,865
Girl, fun Aunt Nell.
443
00:19:02,969 --> 00:19:05,592
What you gonna do? Pew, pew,
pew, pew, pew, pew. Oh...
444
00:19:05,696 --> 00:19:07,767
Stop all of that. Just give me a hug.
All of it?
445
00:19:07,870 --> 00:19:09,562
I love you. I love you.
446
00:19:12,427 --> 00:19:13,428
What are you doing?
447
00:19:13,531 --> 00:19:15,154
I know we only ate imaginary food,
448
00:19:15,257 --> 00:19:17,156
but I hate fingerprints on the dishes.
449
00:19:18,433 --> 00:19:21,712
I'm sorry I upset you earlier.
450
00:19:21,815 --> 00:19:23,610
I didn't mean to make you feel bad.
451
00:19:23,714 --> 00:19:25,440
I thought I was just saying facts,
452
00:19:25,543 --> 00:19:27,669
but I now realized those facts came
453
00:19:27,669 --> 00:19:30,341
across as rude because
you said they were.
454
00:19:30,445 --> 00:19:31,618
I appreciate that.
455
00:19:32,619 --> 00:19:34,242
You know, but if I'm being honest, uh,
456
00:19:34,345 --> 00:19:35,933
I think I needed that reality check.
457
00:19:37,245 --> 00:19:39,247
I keep hiding behind saying,
"If it happens, it happens."
458
00:19:39,350 --> 00:19:42,560
But the truth is... is it won't happen
if I don't make it happen.
459
00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:45,460
And I do want it to happen.
460
00:19:46,392 --> 00:19:48,980
- You do?
- Yeah.
461
00:19:49,084 --> 00:19:50,637
I was with Tilly earlier.
462
00:19:51,466 --> 00:19:54,193
It just felt right.
463
00:19:55,401 --> 00:19:59,128
And, like, maybe I'd be good
at being a mom.
464
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:02,235
- I'm really glad to hear you say that.
- Yeah?
465
00:20:02,339 --> 00:20:05,411
Because after our tiff,
I did a little cursory research,
466
00:20:05,514 --> 00:20:07,067
and it turns out the facts
are more encouraging
467
00:20:07,171 --> 00:20:08,586
- than I previously thought.
- Oh.
468
00:20:08,690 --> 00:20:11,555
There are a lot of women who
have healthy children at your age.
469
00:20:11,658 --> 00:20:14,074
I do think you wanna focus on your diet
a little bit better,
470
00:20:14,178 --> 00:20:16,836
- I know that's an uphill battle for you.
- Got it, thanks.
471
00:20:16,836 --> 00:20:18,251
- You could also freeze your eggs.
- Oh.
472
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:21,427
It is very costly, and you're,
well... Let's face it, you're poor.
473
00:20:21,427 --> 00:20:22,807
Edward!
474
00:20:23,843 --> 00:20:24,913
I'm just saying...
475
00:20:26,501 --> 00:20:28,572
I think you will be great at it.
476
00:20:29,158 --> 00:20:30,263
So just say that.
477
00:20:34,957 --> 00:20:36,200
You would be great at it.
478
00:20:36,752 --> 00:20:40,653
Thank you.
479
00:20:40,756 --> 00:20:41,999
Okay. Well, you didn't dry the plate.
480
00:20:42,102 --> 00:20:43,276
I did. There's gonna be rings...
481
00:20:43,380 --> 00:20:44,588
It's plenty dry! We'll switch spots.
482
00:20:46,037 --> 00:20:48,005
Father, this isn't easy,
483
00:20:48,108 --> 00:20:49,593
but I have something I'd like to say.
484
00:20:51,319 --> 00:20:53,424
I have spent my entire life
trying to impress you.
485
00:20:54,598 --> 00:20:56,151
Trying to get your approval,
486
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,601
but you never seem interested.
487
00:20:58,981 --> 00:20:59,982
Well, guess what?
488
00:21:00,949 --> 00:21:02,951
This entire awards show was a sham.
489
00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:05,712
And another thing, I've never liked
your girlfriend, Susan.
490
00:21:05,816 --> 00:21:06,816
Ma'am...
491
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:08,612
I'm gonna have to charge
your credit card an extra hour.
492
00:21:08,715 --> 00:21:10,959
Yeah... Don't interrupt me
when I'm talking to my father!
493
00:21:14,342 --> 00:21:16,692
Okay, Dad, let's go.
494
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,449
We'll continue this in my car.
495
00:21:22,142 --> 00:21:23,696
I mean, it's cheaper than therapy.
496
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:29,575
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