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♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:15,807
D'
3
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Lousy job.
4
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,996
Nothing exciting ever happens.
5
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:42,333
Congratulations, Homer Simpson!
6
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:45,086
You've just won
the employee raffle.
7
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,504
Whoo-hoo!
What do I get?
8
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,840
The job of industrial
chimney sweep for a day!
9
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:51,718
Whoo-hoo!
10
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,766
Whoa!
11
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:07,650
Hey, this isn't
such a great prize.
12
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,944
Well, this may be a dirty job,
13
00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:13,406
but the big guys at the top
work even harder.
14
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:15,408
Whoa!
15
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Will 5:00 never come?
16
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:24,834
Careful, Smithers!
That sponge has corners, you know.
17
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,170
I'll go find a spherical one.
18
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:31,424
Help, Smithers.
I'm sinking.
19
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I'm sinking.
20
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Life... flashing...
21
00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:39,265
before...
22
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,392
eyes.
23
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You're fired!
24
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Dance!
25
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,909
Dance!
26
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,581
All right.
27
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,425
We're finally gonna stop
those corporate pigs
28
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,460
from dumping that nuclear waste.
29
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:10,255
No!
Our boat is sinking.
30
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:12,006
It was I, you fools!
31
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:16,136
The man you trusted
isn't Wavy Gravy at all.
32
00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:20,223
And all this time, I've been smoking
harmless tobacco.
33
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:31,526
I got a mink chamois, sir.
I hope that...
34
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:34,654
My God!
Mr. Burns is dead!
35
00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:38,324
Why do the good
always die so young?
36
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,954
You almost killed me!
37
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,082
Please, sir.
38
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:49,043
You'll catch... cold.
39
00:02:51,421 --> 00:02:53,798
Smithers, do you realize,
if I had died,
40
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,509
there would be no one
to carry on my legacy?
41
00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:59,596
Due to my hectic schedule
and lethargic sperm,
42
00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,973
I never fathered an heir.
43
00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,058
Now I have no one
44
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:06,853
to leave my enormous fortune to.
45
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No one.
46
00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:12,400
You, Smithers?
No, my dear friend.
47
00:03:12,483 --> 00:03:14,527
I have planned a far greater
reward for you.
48
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When I pass on, you shall be
buried alive with me.
49
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Goody.
50
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Turn it up!
Turn it up!
51
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:49,646
Hello.
I am Montgomery Burns.
52
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,231
Now then,
53
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:53,942
I am looking for
a suitable young male heir
54
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,944
to leave my fortune
to when I pass away.
55
00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:59,656
My vast, vast, vast fortune.
56
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:04,786
Vast.
57
00:04:04,869 --> 00:04:06,955
Auditions will be
tomorrow at my estate.
58
00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,624
And now,
our feature presentation.
59
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,003
For... Very well.
60
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:18,049
♪ Let's all go to the lobby
let's all go to the lobby ♪
61
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:22,553
♪ Let's all go to the lobby
get ourselves some snacks ♪
62
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:30,937
What are the two E's?
Enunciate and energy.
63
00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:38,152
I have nothing to offer you
but my love.
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00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,571
I specifically said
"No geeks."
65
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But my mom says I'm cool.
66
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:45,285
Next.
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00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:48,621
Give me your fortune or I'll pound
your withered old face in!
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00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:52,041
I like his energy.
Put him on the callback list.
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00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,463
♪ Clang, clang, clang
went the trolley ♪
70
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♪ Ring, ring, ring
went the bell ♪
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00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,385
♪ Zing, zing, zing
went my heart strings ♪
72
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,220
Thank you!
73
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,014
Give the bully an extra point.
74
00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:10,727
I propose to you that
your heir need not be a boy.
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00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,687
In this phallocentric
society of ours...
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00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:16,482
I don't know what "phallocentric" means,
but no girls!
77
00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:19,152
So much for plan "B."
78
00:05:19,235 --> 00:05:21,112
That's it, boy.
You're our last hope.
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00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:24,824
I just don't want
to be here, Dad.
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00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,218
Besides, I started a fire
this morning
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00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:28,536
that I really
should keep an eye on.
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00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:31,265
Bart, this isn't the kind of thing
I normally would think was a good idea,
83
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,416
but you wouldn't have
to live with Mr. Burns.
84
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:34,810
You'd just get all
of his money someday.
85
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,754
This could provide
for your entire future.
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00:05:37,837 --> 00:05:40,631
Congratulations.
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00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,675
You've just graduated
from the most expensive
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and, therefore,
best school there is.
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00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:46,966
And your discovery of the cure
for the common cold...
90
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:50,641
Hello, Marge. I'm Lee Majors.
Will you come away with me?
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00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:52,977
Sure.
92
00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,735
I've gotta stop fantasizing
about Lee Majors.
93
00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:02,570
One more.
94
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:10,036
Okay, boy. I wrote down
exactly what to say.
95
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:12,789
Just read it,
and you're a shoo-in!
96
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,710
"Hello, Mr. Kurns.
97
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:22,548
I bad want money now.
Me sick."
98
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:24,675
Ooh, he card reads good.
99
00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,887
"So pick, please, me,
Mr. Burns."
100
00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,764
- It's Kurns, stupid!
- No, it's not.
101
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:32,058
- Disregard.
- He's the worst yet.
102
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:34,060
That's it.
Everyone out.
103
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:36,396
Except you.
One step to the left.
104
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,367
Excellent.
105
00:06:53,871 --> 00:06:57,708
The boot kicked Bart!
It kicked him right in the butt!
106
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,338
I think Bart and Lisa
are feeling
107
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,923
a little upset right now.
108
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:06,008
Isn't there something
you'd like to say?
109
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,094
There sure is.
110
00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:11,264
Kids, you tried your best,
and you failed miserably.
111
00:07:11,347 --> 00:07:14,642
The lesson is, never try.
112
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Right in the butt.
113
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That was great.
114
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,650
It's no use.
115
00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:24,169
I guess I'll have
to leave all my money
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00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:26,112
to the egg advisory council.
117
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,382
Eggs have gotten quite a bad rap
lately, you know, Smithers.
118
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:31,868
Look. A bird has
become petrified
119
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,911
and lost its sense of direction.
120
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:35,705
I think it's a rock, sir.
121
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:37,748
We'll see what the lab
has to say about that.
122
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:47,008
Why, that rapscallion
is breaking all my windows.
123
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:06,527
Look, Smithers.
124
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:08,237
A creature of pure malevolence.
125
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:10,656
He's the perfect one to suckle
126
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,200
at my proverbial teat.
127
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,076
You there, boy!
What day is this?
128
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,579
Today, sir?
Why, it's Christmas day.
129
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,498
I was talking to him.
130
00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:20,416
You, what day is this?
131
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,251
I'll tell you what day it is.
132
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,880
Today is the day
you become my heir.
133
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,467
Ooh, I like him a lot.
134
00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:37,183
Just sign here,
135
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:40,353
and your son will stand
to inherit my entire estate.
136
00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:42,522
Whoo-hoo!
We're rich.
137
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:46,025
Bart, get over to the mansion
and open up all the windows.
138
00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:48,736
We want to get the old-people
smell out before we move in.
139
00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:50,655
Dad, Mr. Burns
hasn't passed away yet.
140
00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:52,573
Right.
141
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:55,159
So I guess you're in okay shape?
142
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,827
No heart problems or anything?
143
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:57,828
Well, I...
144
00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:01,415
Boo!
145
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:04,126
I'm okay.
146
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:08,631
Now that you've all agreed
to reap the windfall of my death,
147
00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:11,467
I must return to my large,
empty mansion
148
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:15,930
to rattle around and await
the inevitable alone.
149
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,268
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
150
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:22,770
Yeah. Let's push him
down the steps.
151
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:24,480
No!
152
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,650
You know, Bart, since he is
giving you all of his money,
153
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:30,611
maybe it would be nice
if you spent some time with him.
154
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,905
- Well...
- Come on, honey.
155
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,699
All right.
156
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:36,492
How come Bart gets to do that,
157
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,703
and I can't spend one night
lurking in the bushes
158
00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:41,539
outside Chef Boyardee's house?
159
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:52,341
Bart, I know you children see me
as some sort of "booger man,"
160
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:55,261
but, I'm really
not such a bad dude.
161
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:58,514
Your milk's gone cold.
I'll ring for the maid.
162
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,224
Whoa!
163
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:02,143
Sorry. Wrong button.
164
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:07,523
Um, I think I'd like to go home.
165
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,526
If you stay, you can have
anything you want to eat,
166
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,154
even some sort of gelatin dish.
167
00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:14,989
It's made from hooves, you know.
168
00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:17,158
Anything?
169
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:19,827
Okay. I want pizza,
170
00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:23,205
and I want it delivered
by Krusty the Clown.
171
00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,835
Hey, it's Krusty the Pizza Man!
172
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:30,588
All right.
Where's my 400 bucks?
173
00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:32,340
Hey, wait.
174
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:34,634
How can you be here
when your show's on live?
175
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,552
I just threw on an old rerun.
176
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,012
No one will know the difference.
177
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:39,764
♪♪
178
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,644
Children, remain calm.
179
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:47,146
The Falkland Islands
have just been invaded.
180
00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:49,899
I repeat, the Falkland's
have just been invaded!
181
00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:53,694
The disputed islands lie here,
off the coast of Argentina.
182
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:57,865
This is my pride and joy.
183
00:10:57,948 --> 00:11:01,077
I've had hidden cameras
planted in every home in Springfield.
184
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,037
I got the idea from
that movie, Sliver.
185
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,705
What a delightful romp.
186
00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:07,375
♪♪
187
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:10,711
Are you talking to me?
There's no one else here.
188
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,923
You must be talking to me.
189
00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:16,592
Well, that was an antique.
Crap!
190
00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:27,395
Yeah. So good.
191
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:32,233
That explains his
mysterious trip to Holland.
192
00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:34,819
And I had the greatest time.
193
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:37,071
Mr. Burns's house
has everything:
194
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:39,031
a hedge maze, a moat,
195
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:41,033
bleached hardwood floors
and a bottomless pit.
196
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,827
It couldn't possibly
be bottomless.
197
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,270
Well, for all intents
and purposes.
198
00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:50,751
Hey! Mom!
Bart's throwing peas!
199
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,420
Bart, don't throw peas
at your sister.
200
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,714
Mr. Burns throws peas
at Smithers.
201
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,133
That was a big one!
202
00:11:57,216 --> 00:12:00,010
- Homer, say something.
- Okay.
203
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:03,681
Lisa, quit getting in the way
of your wealthy brother's peas.
204
00:12:03,764 --> 00:12:06,559
Yuck. Meat loaf.
205
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:09,937
My most hated of all loafs.
206
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:12,440
That was the end piece!
207
00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:16,068
That's it! Being abusive
to your family is one thing,
208
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:19,280
but I will not stand idly by
and watch you feed a hungry dog!
209
00:12:19,363 --> 00:12:22,742
- Go to your room!
- No! This family stinks!
210
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:25,035
Mr. Burns nurtures
my destructive side.
211
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,620
I'm suffocating here.
212
00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:29,707
- Bart, you listen!
- Go eat some flowers!
213
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,834
My secret shame.
214
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,716
Smithers, my plan
worked perfectly.
215
00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:41,093
Bart Simpson will
live here as my son,
216
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,929
and I will mold him
in my own graven image.
217
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,724
Who knows?
I may even grow to...
218
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:47,807
love him.
219
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,977
Bartholomew!
220
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:52,521
Smithers, get it off me!
221
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,276
Bart, you're coming home.
222
00:12:57,359 --> 00:12:59,111
I want to stay here
with Mr. Burns.
223
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,113
I suggest you leave immediately.
224
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:04,116
Or what? You'll release
the dogs or the bees,
225
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,118
or dogs with bees
in their mouth,
226
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:08,245
and when they bark,
they shoot bees at you?
227
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:10,998
Well, go ahead.
Do your worst.
228
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,754
He locked the door!
229
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:17,963
I'll show him!
230
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:25,179
I'm very concerned. Mr. Burns has stolen
our son, and he won't give him back.
231
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:28,516
For gosh... Can't you people solve
these problems yourselves?
232
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:32,186
I mean, we can't be "policing"
the whole city.
233
00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:34,104
♪♪
234
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,777
Damn clogs.
235
00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:41,946
Well, you good folks
can rest easy now
236
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:44,990
because you've come to the very
best in legal representation.
237
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:48,911
Excuse me. Is there
an Orange Julius stand on this floor?
238
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:50,514
I'll sell you this one.
It's almost full.
239
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,665
Well, why don't I drink out
of a toilet bowl?
240
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,166
He'll be back.
241
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,418
And as for your case,
don't you worry.
242
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:59,213
I've argued in front of every judge
in the state, often as a lawyer.
243
00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:05,469
This court rules in favor
of Montgomery Burns.
244
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:07,847
I find that he is clearly
the boy's biological father.
245
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:13,435
Judge, these won't
be ready until Thursday.
246
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,730
You know, we should
really stop hiring him.
247
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,280
Cool train.
Where does it go?
248
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,240
Beats me.
249
00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:27,801
But it won't be back
for three hours and 40 minutes.
250
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:30,286
- Once it had snow on it.
- Wow, Bart!
251
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:33,038
Mr. Burns gives you everything
you could ever want.
252
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,165
My parents use
that old love excuse
253
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:37,293
to screw me out of toys.
254
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:40,045
Well, I'm sure you'd like to be
alone with your possessions.
255
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:44,842
Um, Milhouse, if you stay
a little while longer,
256
00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:46,719
you can have this blazer.
257
00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:47,882
It's a Bob Mackie original.
258
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:52,016
Wow! A Bob Mackie!
259
00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:55,352
Sorry, Bart.
260
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,856
Bartholomew, you don't need him.
261
00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:00,816
I can be your school yard chum.
262
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:05,821
Five, 23, skidoo.
Hut, hut!
263
00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:14,413
For me? But I don't
know how to drive.
264
00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:17,124
Pish-posh.
There's a jaws of life in the trunk.
265
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:20,920
Whoa-ho! Whoo-hoo!
266
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:24,131
Whoa! Whoo!
267
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,011
Whoa! Whoa!
268
00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:37,394
- That was some ride.
- You're telling me.
269
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,521
Mr. And Mrs. Simpson,
270
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,815
your son has clearly
been brainwashed
271
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,193
by the evil
and charismatic Mr. Burns.
272
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,487
Are you sure you can
get him back for us?
273
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,739
Absolutely.
274
00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:51,176
I'm the one who successfully
deprogrammed Jane Fonda, you know.
275
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,743
What about Peter Fonda?
276
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,745
That was a heartbreaker.
277
00:15:54,828 --> 00:15:57,539
But I did get Paul McCartney
out of Wings.
278
00:15:57,623 --> 00:16:00,542
You idiot! He was
the most talented one!
279
00:16:07,424 --> 00:16:09,718
You do not love Mr. Burns.
280
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:13,138
You love Homer and Marge.
You are their son.
281
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:17,935
What you are doing
is wrong, wrong, wrong!
282
00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,062
Do you mind? You're killing
the romance in here.
283
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,026
Well, it was a grueling
two weeks,
284
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:27,190
but you have your son back.
285
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:29,530
Ooh.
286
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,866
Mom. Dad.
I missed you.
287
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:36,662
Aww!
288
00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:38,205
Homer, that's Hans Moleman.
289
00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:40,290
Can I keep him anyway?
290
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:44,253
♪ ...Scratchy Show ♪
291
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,462
♪♪
292
00:17:16,118 --> 00:17:18,787
Funny.
293
00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:23,125
That was delightful.
294
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,793
Did you see that?
295
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,463
That mouse butchered
that cat like a hog!
296
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:30,340
Is all TV this wonderful?
297
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:34,136
Um, I'd kind of like
to go home now.
298
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,013
Like a hog!
299
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:38,140
I... What?
What was that?
300
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:41,226
Mr. Burns, I don't want
to seem ungrateful,
301
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:43,812
but I want to go home
to my family.
302
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:47,316
I was hoping I wouldn't
have to tell you this,
303
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:50,360
but I'm afraid your family
doesn't want you back.
304
00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:56,116
I do not miss Bart at all.
305
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,702
I am glad he's gone.
306
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:01,246
- As am I.
- B'
307
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,248
It's probably my imagination,
308
00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:06,293
but something about them
didn't seem quite right.
309
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:09,922
Really? Excuse me
for just a moment.
310
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,218
People, that was all wrong!
311
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:15,901
Homer Simpson doesn't say "B'"
He says...
312
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,347
"D'"
313
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,643
Sorry, M.B.,
314
00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:24,436
but I'm having trouble
with this character.
315
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,731
Is he supposed to have some kind
of neurological impairment,
316
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:30,150
like Rain Man or Awakenings?
317
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:32,736
I mean, what the hell
am I doing here?
318
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:36,406
And this dialogue has none of the wit
and sparkle of Murphy Brown.
319
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:39,493
Hey, you know
we're getting into golden time?
320
00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:41,078
Yes, well, just get it right,
321
00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:42,847
or you'll all be back doing
Come Blow Your Horn
322
00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:44,111
at the Westport Dinner Theater.
323
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:45,749
All right then.
324
00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,833
Let's see what the old
Simpson family is up to now.
325
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,004
Duh!
326
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:54,675
That's them, all right.
327
00:18:54,758 --> 00:18:56,552
I can't believe it.
328
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:02,349
I guess you're
the only one I can trust.
329
00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:05,269
Dad?
330
00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:10,941
That rib always breaks.
331
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:17,906
Lisa, what are you doing?
332
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,868
Just trying to fill the void of random,
meaningless destruction
333
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:23,620
that Bart's absence
has left in our hearts.
334
00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:26,915
That's sweet, honey.
335
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:29,042
It's a little tight.
336
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:30,436
Yes, that's to correct
your posture.
337
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:32,421
Soon you'll have a mighty hump.
338
00:19:32,504 --> 00:19:36,008
Now, you really are my son.
339
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:38,218
This calls for a celebration.
340
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:39,761
Let's fire some employees.
341
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,305
Excellent.
342
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,619
Okay, let's make this
sporting, Leonard.
343
00:19:46,643 --> 00:19:49,146
If you can tell me
why I shouldn't fire you
344
00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,690
without using the letter "E,"
you can keep your job.
345
00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:55,277
Okay. Um...
346
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,071
I'm a good work guy.
347
00:19:58,155 --> 00:19:59,424
- You're fired.
- But I didn't say...
348
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,824
You will.
349
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:03,744
Eeeeeeee!
350
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:07,748
Let me try one.
351
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:11,460
Hey, the trail of donuts ended.
352
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,629
- Bart!
- Homer!
353
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:15,631
What a coincidence!
354
00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:17,925
And a perfect opportunity
for you to prove your loyalty.
355
00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:21,762
Go ahead, Bartholomew.
You may fire when ready.
356
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:31,980
Hurry. Fire him now or I'll disown you.
You'll lose everything.
357
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,067
The fabulous toys,
a lifetime of wealth and luxury,
358
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,361
the gift certificate
from Blockbuster Video,
359
00:20:37,444 --> 00:20:39,947
the freedom to do
whatever you want.
360
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:41,907
I'll miss you, son.
361
00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:46,119
I'm sorry, Dad.
362
00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:47,412
You're fired!
363
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:49,456
What? Fire me?
364
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:54,544
That does it.
You can never be my son.
365
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:58,131
- A little to the left.
- Very well.
366
00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:00,592
You can never be my...
367
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:03,136
Eeeeeeee!
368
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,931
Sir, try to land
on Leonard's carcass!
369
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:14,064
Son, I know you're upset because
you thought you saw us on TV
370
00:21:14,147 --> 00:21:15,941
saying we didn't want you
in our family,
371
00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:18,902
but those were just
actors playing us.
372
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:19,861
How do you know?
373
00:21:19,945 --> 00:21:21,256
Because one of them hung out
with me for a week,
374
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,365
trying to get my character down.
375
00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:26,702
Yeah, me too. That midget
taught me a lot about his native Estonia.
376
00:21:26,785 --> 00:21:30,163
The point is, the real Simpson family
missed you a lot,
377
00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:31,707
and we're really glad
you're home.
378
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:36,461
- I love you guys.
- Right back at ya, son.
379
00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:42,759
And now I want you to meet your
new brother, Hans Moleman.
380
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:45,137
Cowabunga, dudes.
381
00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:51,643
Give it a try.
It's like kissing a peanut.
382
00:21:56,064 --> 00:21:58,984
Homer, I want
that thing out of my house.
383
00:22:00,193 --> 00:22:03,030
♪♪
384
00:22:46,156 --> 00:22:47,156
Shh!
385
00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:53,580
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
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