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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'
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Aah!
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00:00:57,307 --> 00:01:01,186
- I need one 29-cent stamp.
- That's $1.85.
5
00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:03,980
- I want $2.00 worth of gas, please.
- $4.20.
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00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,024
How much is your penny candy?
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- Surprisingly expensive.
- What a rip-off!
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This is what I think of your store!
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Silly customer!
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You cannot hurt a twinkie!
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Jiminy Cricket!
Whoo! Expired ham.
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Well, this time I've gone too
far. No. No one will fall for...
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Woo-hoo! Cheap meat!
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Ooh, this one's open.
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Ooh! Stomach churning!
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Bowels clenching.
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Not much time.
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Must finish.
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Well, sir, Homer's illness was either
caused by ingesting spoiled food
20
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:07,043
or some sort of voodoo curse.
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Hey, we've just been
working the eyes.
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Your old meat made me sick!
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I'm so sorry. Please accept
five pounds of frozen shrimp.
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This shrimp isn't frozen,
and it smells funny.
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- Okay. Ten pounds.
- Whoo-hoo!
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Brought to you by...
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That dog can sell anything.
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00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:44,890
Good evening.
Here's an update on last week's
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nursing-home exposé,
"Geezers in Freezers."
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00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:50,253
It turns out the rest home
was adequately heated.
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The footage you saw was
of a fur-storage facility.
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We've also been told to apologize
for using the term "geezers."
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00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:01,848
Now, coming up next, "The case
of the cantankerous old geezer."
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00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:03,933
Urp!
35
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:07,437
Rancid meat attack!
Stupid parasites!
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00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,898
Is there no way
I can find justice?
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00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:13,234
If you have a consumer
complaint, just call this number.
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Boring.
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00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:16,442
Dad, you should blow
the whistle on the Kwik-E-Mart.
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00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:19,324
And now a message from
the Church of Latter-Day Saints.
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- Dad, are you listening to me?
- Shh! Lisa! The dog is barking.
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00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:30,752
All right. Are you willing to go
undercover to nail this creep?
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No way, man! No way, man!
Get yourself another patsy, man!
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No way am I wearin'
a freakin' wire.
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All right, all right, all right.
Would you be willing to wear
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- a hidden camera and microphone?
- That I'll wear.
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We've come up
with a camera so tiny
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00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,203
it fits into this
oversized novelty hat.
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Now go get us some
incriminating footage.
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00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,443
And remember, you have to get in
and out in 10 minutes,
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- or you'll suffer permanent neck damage.
- He's not kiddin'.
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Don't be alarmed, Apu.
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Just go about your daily routine
like I'm not wearing the hat.
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00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:22,387
Your headgear seems to be
emitting a buzzing noise, sir.
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Perhaps you have
a bee in your bonnet.
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Bee?
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00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:35,191
Homer, that hat's been
with the station for 20 years.
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He had one day left
till retirement.
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♪ La la la la la ♪
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00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:41,614
Well, time to
replenish the hot-dog roller.
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♪ La la ♪
Oops!
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No.
It is encrusted with filth.
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00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:52,417
Well.
Let's sell it anyway.
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00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:57,922
Now, this is just between me
and you, smashed hat.
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Hot diggety dog!
We've got him, Mr. Simpson.
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00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,303
Now, let's... Mr. Simpson?
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00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:05,847
One hot dog, please.
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00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,519
Apu, will you ever stop
selling spoiled meat?
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No. I mean, yes.
I mean...
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- I think I come off very well.
- Monster! Run, children!
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00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:23,239
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon,
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you have disgraced
the Kwik-E-Mart corporation.
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But, sir, I was only following
standard procedure.
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00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:30,413
True. But it's also
standard procedure
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to blame any problems
on a scapegoat or sacrificial lamb.
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And if I can
obtain for you these animals?
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I'm sorry, Apu.
I have no choice.
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You can no longer wear this name patch.
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00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:45,845
And you can no longer tell
people about our fried pickles.
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00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:49,432
Now, turn in your pricing gun.
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00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:55,938
The other one too.
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00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:05,531
Fired after all these years
of loyal service.
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00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:08,493
- I don't want to live anymore!
- Give me that wiener!
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00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:11,037
- No! I don't want to live, sir!
- Give me that wiener!
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00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,247
No, Apu! It's not worth it!
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What do I do now?
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00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:20,505
I've been drummed out of my profession.
I'm a disgrace.
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00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:25,009
Even this babbling brook sounds
almost like mocking laughter.
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00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:30,390
Who needs money
when we got feathers?
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00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:48,533
This is all because
of Homer Simpson.
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Stop!
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Yo, check this out.
Black guys drive a car like this.
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♪♪
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Yeah, but white guys, see, they drive
a car like this. ♪♪
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00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:09,470
It's true! It's true! We're so lame.
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00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:12,223
It is time to settle the score.
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Aah!
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No! Don't kill me! I didn't know
there was film in that camera in that hat!
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I was unaware!
I was unaware!
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Mr. Simpson,
you misunderstand me.
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00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,670
In my village, this is
the traditional pose of apology.
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00:07:42,753 --> 00:07:45,756
You know, now that I think about it,
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00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,425
it may be a little confusing.
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00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,385
Many have died needlessly.
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00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:53,222
I have come to make amends, sir.
At first, I blamed you for squealing.
106
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:56,267
But then I realized
it was I who wronged you.
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So I have come to work
off my debt. I am at your service.
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00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:01,772
You're selling what now?
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00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:06,027
I'm selling only the concept
of karmic realignment.
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00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:07,487
You can't sell that!
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00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,370
Karma can only be
portioned out by the cosmos.
112
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:13,493
He's got me there.
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00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:17,538
- Is he still out there?
- Yes. He's raking leaves.
114
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,624
What? That's your job!
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00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,918
If he starts doing
Lisa's wood chopping...
116
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,762
If he wants to make it up to you
so badly, I think you should let him.
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00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:29,091
Okay, okay. I'll let him.
But then I get a Chipwich. Okay?
118
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,595
It is an honor to begin
repaying my debt to you.
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00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:35,598
Back in Rahmatpur,
I was considered quite the gourmet.
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It certainly is exotic.
121
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,188
Lisa, is that too spicy for you?
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I can see through time.
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00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,609
Stop being such babies.
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00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,945
You can't be afraid
to try new things.
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00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:52,865
For instance, tonight I'm using a...
Apu, what do you call this thing again?
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- A napkin.
- Outrageous!
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00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:00,957
All right. Why do you want
to become a part
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00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,500
of the Kwik-E-Mart family?
129
00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,210
Because I like people,
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00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:06,212
and I need a place
where I'll be out of the sun.
131
00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:08,464
Thank you.
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00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,800
He's head and shoulders
above everyone else.
133
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,886
- Wait. There's one more applicant.
- Name?
134
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,556
- James Woods.
- Previous job experience?
135
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:22,061
Ooh, gee, True Believer, Salvador,
Onion Field, The Hard Way.
136
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,522
Wait-wait a minute!
Those aren't convenience stores.
137
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,458
That sounds like the resume
of a Hollywood movie star.
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00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:27,483
Yeah, well...
139
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,069
James woods!
140
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,405
Why would you want
to work at a Kwik-E-Mart?
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00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:35,825
Well, to be honest,
in my upcoming movie...
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00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:38,536
I'm gonna be playing this tightly wound
convenience-store clerk,
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00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:42,164
and, you know, I kinda like to research
my roles and really get into it.
144
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,751
For instance, True Believer. I actually
worked in a law firm for two months.
145
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,170
And in the film Chaplin...
I had a little cameo in that...
146
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,882
I actually traveled in time
back to the '20s where...
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- Well, I've said too much.
- Welcome aboard.
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00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,889
♪♪
149
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:03,269
Good morning, sir.
150
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:07,398
Relax, please. You do not have anything
I have not seen before.
151
00:10:07,481 --> 00:10:11,986
- What the...
- I like to keep a lollipop there.
152
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:16,824
♪ La la la la ♪
153
00:10:16,907 --> 00:10:19,535
Apu, we usually store
our cans in the cupboard.
154
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,370
Well, they'll never move
that way.
155
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,873
Corn!
Haven't had that in a while.
156
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:26,417
Yeah! Delicious corn.
157
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:29,003
Bye.
158
00:10:29,086 --> 00:10:33,007
We're low on milk for Maggie.
You wanna come with me to the Kwik-E-Mart?
159
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:35,176
Please, Mrs. Simpson.
160
00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:39,764
I... I cannot go there. That is
the scene of my spiritual depantsing.
161
00:10:39,847 --> 00:10:43,976
Umm, well, I guess we could go
to that new Monstromart.
162
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,856
♪♪
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00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:56,989
Ooh! That's a good price
for 12 pounds of nutmeg.
164
00:10:57,073 --> 00:11:01,452
Ooh! Great selection and
rock-bottom prices. But where is the love?
165
00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:03,579
Attention Monstromart shoppers.
166
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,248
Just a reminder that we love
each and every one of you.
167
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:09,502
Aww!
168
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:15,424
Excuse me, ma'am.
Where are the lampshades?
169
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:18,552
Ma'am?
170
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:21,347
I've killed her!
171
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,557
It's all happening again!
172
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,069
Help me! Help me!
173
00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:38,447
It's cran-tastic!
174
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:45,579
Mrs. Simpson, the express line
is the fastest line not always.
175
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:49,125
That old man up front,
he is starved for attention.
176
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,085
He will talk
the cashier's head off.
177
00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:55,381
There's an interesting story
behind this nickel.
178
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:58,759
In 1957, I remember it was.
179
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:03,556
I got up in the morning and
made myself a piece of toast.
180
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:08,352
I set the toaster to three...
Medium brown.
181
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:11,355
- Let's go to... that line.
- But that's the longest.
182
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:16,068
Yes, but look... all pathetic single men.
Only cash, no chitchat.
183
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,786
Seventy-five, 85, 90
and a dollar.
184
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,830
Thank you and come again.
Hey, wait a minute! Hey!
185
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:31,751
Could I just ask you a question?
186
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:36,464
Did you... Did you believe that?
I mean, the way I gave you the change?
187
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:41,135
Did I sound like a real Kwik-E-Mart,
you know, kinda guy?
188
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:44,180
Actually, I thought
it was a little labored.
189
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:47,183
You gotta lose yourself
in the moment, man.
190
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,644
Yeah. Like... Yeah! Great. Okay. Let-let's
just try that again. Okay? Come on.
191
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:54,607
Hey. Come on. Hey-ey-ey! Hey, get over
here! Okay. Now, you're you, I'm me.
192
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:59,320
- I'm me?
- Hey, don't jerk me around, fella.
193
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:05,117
- Pass the chutney.
- Apu, you've been so helpful.
194
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:08,496
If it weren't for him, we'd
still be in line at the Monstromart.
195
00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:12,708
And he taught me how to play the shehnai.
196
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,878
That's even worse than
the album Grampa released.
197
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:19,006
And he taught me how to do this.
198
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:22,426
I got out of school, 'cause I told 'em
I was mangled in a car wreck.
199
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:26,055
- Thank you all for the kind praise.
- Well, you deserve it.
200
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:30,643
All these vegetables are really clearing
the cholesterol out of the old heart.
201
00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:39,443
Apu friend me good.
202
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:43,364
I think what my father's saying is
you're like a member of the family now.
203
00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:47,993
I feel that way too. You see,
whether igloo, hut or lean-to...
204
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,329
or a geodesic dome,
205
00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:54,667
there's no structure I have been
to which I'd rather call my home.
206
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:56,752
Hello. Aah!
207
00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,296
♪ When I first arrived
you were all such jerks ♪
208
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:02,800
♪ But now I've come
to love your quirks ♪
209
00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:04,718
♪ Maggie with
her eyes so bright ♪
210
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:07,096
♪ Marge with hair
by Frank Lloyd Wright ♪
211
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:09,473
♪ Lisa can philosophize ♪
212
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,475
♪ Bart's adept
at spinning lies ♪
213
00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,686
♪ Homer's a delightful fella ♪
214
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:17,314
- ♪ Sorry 'bout the salmonella ♪
- Heh-heh! That's okay.
215
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:20,150
- Aah!
- ♪ Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart ♪
216
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,653
♪ Now here's
the tricky part ♪
217
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:26,740
♪ Won't you
rhyme with me ♪
218
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:28,826
♪ Who needs
the Kwik-E-Mart ♪
219
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:30,911
♪ Their floors
are sticky-mart ♪
220
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:33,080
♪ They made Dad sicky-mart ♪
221
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:35,499
♪ Let's hurl a bricky-mart ♪
222
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,501
♪ The Kwik-E-Mart is real... ♪
D'
223
00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:42,923
♪ Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart ♪
224
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:46,176
- ♪ Not me ♪
- ♪ Forget the Kwik-E-Mart ♪
225
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:48,387
♪ Good-bye to Kwik-E-Mart ♪
226
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:51,098
♪ Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart ♪
227
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:52,725
♪ Not me ♪
228
00:14:56,812 --> 00:15:01,859
Everything really wrapped up nicely.
Much quicker than usual.
229
00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:05,029
I guess we've learned that happiness
is wherever you find it.
230
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:09,909
And we've all found happiness,
every one of us.
231
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,080
Hey, what's that sound?
232
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:23,756
♪ Who needs
the Kwik-E-Mart ♪
233
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:28,761
♪ I do ♪
234
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:33,432
Hey, he's not happy at all!
He lied to us through song!
235
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,476
I hate when people do that!
236
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:43,317
I can't lie to myself, you know.
I do miss my Kwik-E-Mart.
237
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,945
Isn't there anything you can do to
get your job back?
238
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:49,406
I must go to the head office
and appeal my case.
239
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,075
I'm coming with you!
240
00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:54,328
I got you fired.
It's the least I can do.
241
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:56,372
Well, the least I can do is
absolutely nothing.
242
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:59,708
But I'll go you one better
and come along.
243
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,211
- But, sir, the head office is in India.
- Okay.
244
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:06,298
- Dad, that's over 10,000 miles away.
- I'm aware of that!
245
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,884
- That's over 16,000 kilometers.
- D'
246
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:24,566
I'm sorry we couldn't take a cab, but I
spent my last dollar on the plane tickets.
247
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,443
- Are we in India yet?
- No.
248
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,153
- Are we in India yet?
- No.
249
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,363
- Are we in India yet?
- No.
250
00:16:29,446 --> 00:16:31,198
- Are we in India yet?
- No.
251
00:16:31,281 --> 00:16:33,867
Wait... now we are.
252
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,247
T-Tony, T-Tony,
y-you're my agent.
253
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:40,499
You have to do something
about this.
254
00:16:40,582 --> 00:16:43,252
How can it be the same movie
if they've changed my character
255
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:47,673
from a tightly wound convenience-store
clerk to a jittery Eskimo firefighter?
256
00:16:51,468 --> 00:16:54,805
Well, actually, that's...
That's a pretty good explanation.
257
00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:57,617
Now this is gross... this'll be gross
points, right, on this new... okay.
258
00:16:57,641 --> 00:17:00,578
Yeah, 'cause those monkey... yeah. Okay.
Great. Okay. Look. Book me a flight,
259
00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:02,980
rent me an igloo, and tell those dorks
at the Kwik-E-Mart
260
00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:04,398
that, boom, I am out of here.
261
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:08,318
I'm a dot. I'm gone. Okay? What do you
mean, I gotta give two weeks notice?
262
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:11,989
Why, you damn, frickin', no good
mother... cheese!
263
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,824
No, not you.
I'm just talkin' to my oven.
264
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:20,205
♪ If you're saved and you know it
clap your hands ♪
265
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:22,583
♪ If you're saved and you know it
clap your hands ♪
266
00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:25,753
♪♪ -Great. Christians.
267
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:29,923
Attention, passengers. Dinner
is now being served in the dining car.
268
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,605
- Ooh-ooh!
- There she is.
269
00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:49,401
There she is, the world's first
convenience store.
270
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:55,532
- This isn't very convenient.
- Must you dump on everything we do?
271
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,415
♪♪
272
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:07,419
He is the benevolent,
enlightened president and C.E.O.
273
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:10,214
of Kwik-E-Mart,
and in Ohio, Stop-O-Mart.
274
00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:13,342
He is the one I must ask for my job back.
275
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,469
Approach, my sons.
276
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:22,226
You may ask me three questions.
277
00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:24,686
That's great,
because all I need is one.
278
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,397
- Are you really the head of Kwik-E-Mart?
- Yes.
279
00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,649
- Really?
- Yes.
280
00:18:28,732 --> 00:18:30,275
- You?
- Yes.
281
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,320
I hope this has been
enlightening for you.
282
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,572
- But I must...
- Thank you. Come again.
283
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,658
- But...
- Thank you. Come again.
284
00:18:37,741 --> 00:18:40,702
Well, that was a big bust.
285
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,830
Is he really the head
of the Kwik-E-Mart?
286
00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:45,165
No need to apologize, Apu.
287
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:48,460
It was as much my fault
as it was yours.
288
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:54,424
Okay, Apu!
I accept your apology.
289
00:18:57,761 --> 00:18:58,929
Dad! Dad!
290
00:18:59,012 --> 00:19:00,490
What'd you bring us?
What'd you bring?
291
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:03,517
- How did it go?
- Fine! I mean, not good.
292
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:08,147
I'm sorry, Apu. But remember...
♪ Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart ♪
293
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,524
Do you mind?
I'm not in the mood.
294
00:19:10,607 --> 00:19:13,485
Apu, if it'll make you
feel any better,
295
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:16,530
I've learned that life is one
crushing defeat after another...
296
00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:19,533
until you just wish
Flanders was dead.
297
00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:23,287
Yes, yes. You are right, sir.
I've got to accept my fate.
298
00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:25,747
I have feared it
for long enough now.
299
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:29,626
I'm going to go down to the Kwik-E-Mart,
and I am going to face my demon!
300
00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:32,754
That'll work out great!
We're out of Lucky Charms.
301
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,602
My old Squishee machine.
302
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:51,273
And my scum bucket with flies.
303
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:56,028
And the hot-check list.
304
00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:59,948
Hey, hey, you're Apu Nahasapeemapetilon,
aren't ya? I mean, you're the...
305
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:03,202
God, you're... you're like the guy!
You're a legend around here.
306
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:07,080
Can I ask you... is it true you once
worked 96 hours straight?
307
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:10,125
Yes.
It was horrible, I tell you.
308
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,836
By the end, I thought I was
a hummingbird of some kind.
309
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,505
Yeah! You know, I studied
your old security tapes.
310
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:19,218
Fee-ee-ee-ee.
311
00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,679
Fee-ee-ee-ee.
312
00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,348
In a few minutes,
313
00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:26,725
I try to drink nectar
out of Sanjay's head.
314
00:20:26,808 --> 00:20:30,103
All right, you! Hand over the cash,
and don't try any funny stuff!
315
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:34,983
Hey, pal. I assure you. If I tried any
funny stuff, you would be in hysterics.
316
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,153
- Hey, you're James Woods!
- Thank you. Yes, yes. Thank you.
317
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:41,448
Well, Mr. Woods,
your new song is gonna be
318
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:43,909
number three with a bullet.
319
00:20:43,992 --> 00:20:45,494
- I'm not a singer.
- Shut up!
320
00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:50,707
No!
321
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:55,295
Apu!
322
00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:58,048
The searing kiss of hot lead.
323
00:20:58,131 --> 00:21:02,219
How I've missed you.
I mean, I think I'm dying.
324
00:21:02,302 --> 00:21:04,513
Oy.
325
00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:10,060
Well, you are
a very lucky man, Apu.
326
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:12,896
You see, the bullet ricocheted
off another bullet
327
00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:16,275
that was lodged in your chest
from a previous robbery.
328
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:19,069
Apu, you saved my life.
329
00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:21,530
And as a small token of
my appreciation,
330
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:25,033
I got you your job back
at the Kwik-E-Mart.
331
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,327
Mr. Woods, you're...
332
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:31,540
But as for me, I'm off to battle aliens
on a faraway planet.
333
00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:36,837
- That sounds like a good movie.
- Yes. Yes, a movie. Yes.
334
00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:42,217
Hey, let's all hug Apu.
335
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:45,053
- Aww.
- Ooh!
336
00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:52,269
Hey, there's still time.
Let's hug him again.
337
00:21:52,352 --> 00:21:55,439
Aww.
338
00:22:01,361 --> 00:22:03,739
♪♪
339
00:22:47,032 --> 00:22:48,116
Shh!
340
00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:54,623
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
27314
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