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♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
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D'
3
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Ooh!
4
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,266
♪♪
5
00:01:41,392 --> 00:01:43,311
♪♪
6
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,635
- Dad, we've been robbed!
- Wake up, Dad! Wake up!
7
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,971
There was a burglar,
and he took my saxophone!
8
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Whoo-hoo!
9
00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:21,015
- And our portable TV.
- D'
10
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,226
- And my necklace.
- That's no big loss.
11
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,103
Homer, that necklace
was a priceless
12
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,688
Bouvier family heirloom.
13
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,898
You probably got
a whole drawer full of 'em.
14
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:32,360
Well, yes, I do,
but they're all heirlooms too.
15
00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:36,322
The burglar even took
my stamp collection.
16
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,825
You had a stamp collection?
17
00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:47,167
Stamp collection?
Ha-ha!
18
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:51,296
Bart's pain is funny,
but mine isn't.
19
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:53,798
That saxophone was
my one creative outlet.
20
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,676
It was the only way I could
truly express myself.
21
00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:57,927
Shh! Quiet, Lisa.
22
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,013
Hey, the burglar left
his calling card.
23
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:05,392
Cute.
24
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,103
Hidilly-ho, neighboreenos.
25
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,355
Can't talk. Robbed.
Go hell.
26
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,482
You folks got robbed too?
27
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:14,402
The burglar took my
Shroud of Turin beach towels.
28
00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:16,321
Wow!
It's a crime wave.
29
00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:19,824
Good Lord! My Stormin' Norman
commemorative plates stolen!
30
00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:21,117
Again.
31
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:25,747
Hey, I thought I had
more stuff than this.
32
00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,707
We are insured, aren't we, Mom?
33
00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,270
Homer, tell your child
what you bought
34
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,586
when I sent you to town
to get some insurance.
35
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,838
Curse you, magic beans!
36
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,590
Stop blaming the beans.
37
00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:38,301
Hello, police?
Are you sitting down? Good!
38
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,053
I wish to report a robbery.
39
00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:42,472
A robbery, right.
Thanks for the report.
40
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:46,851
That's another one, Lou.
723 Evergreen Terrace.
41
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,520
Well, there doesn't seem
to be any pattern yet,
42
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:52,398
but if I take this one
and move it here...
43
00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,817
and I move these over here...
44
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:58,738
Hello! It almost looks
like an arrow.
45
00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:00,448
Hey, look,
46
00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:02,700
Chief, it's pointing right
at this police station.
47
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,995
Let's get out of here!
48
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:12,877
When cat burglaries start,
can mass murders be far behind?
49
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,761
This reporter isn't saying
that the burglar is
50
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,589
an inhuman monster
like the wolfman,
51
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,091
but he very well could be.
52
00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:19,717
So, professor,
53
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,601
would you say it's time
for everyone to panic?
54
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:23,429
Yes, I would, Kent.
55
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,848
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen, please.
56
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,601
We have a major break
in the case.
57
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:30,395
We recovered
the burglar's handkerchief
58
00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:32,480
from one of the crime scenes.
59
00:04:32,563 --> 00:04:34,565
Now, one sniff of this baby,
60
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:36,818
and our tracking dog
will be hot on his trail.
61
00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:39,904
Gosh, look at me.
I'm sweatin' like a pig here.
62
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:44,617
Man.
That's better.
63
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,119
All right.
Get the scent, boy.
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00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:47,412
Come on, get the scent.
65
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:50,623
Now kill him!
66
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:52,625
Hey!
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00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,627
My jugular!
68
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:57,171
Any questions?
69
00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:58,256
Well, as you can see,
70
00:04:58,339 --> 00:05:00,216
when the burglar
trips the alarm,
71
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,427
the house raises
from its foundations,
72
00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:05,388
and runs down the street and
around the corner to safety.
73
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:11,519
Well the...
The real humans won't...
74
00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:13,855
Won't burn quite so fast
in there.
75
00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:14,938
Aye!
76
00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:22,322
Cool!
High-tech security system.
77
00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:35,543
All right!
Free laserium.
78
00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:38,671
All the colors of the 'bow, man.
79
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:42,717
My cataracts are gone.
80
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,720
I can see again.
All the beauty of na...
81
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:50,641
I'm blind. Well.
Easy come, easy go.
82
00:05:53,895 --> 00:05:56,397
It's the cat burglar!
83
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,649
Please don't kill me!
84
00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,693
Abe, can I borrow your ointment?
85
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,153
It's you, Malloy.
86
00:06:02,236 --> 00:06:03,571
All right.
87
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:05,490
But this time clean off
the applicator!
88
00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:15,458
Thank you for coming.
I'll see you in hell.
89
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:18,544
All right. These are our new
family security rules.
90
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:19,962
Be home before dark,
91
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,190
and make sure
you're not followed.
92
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,341
Lock all doors and windows.
93
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,343
And don't take candy
from strangers.
94
00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:26,761
Marge, they're only human!
95
00:06:26,844 --> 00:06:29,347
What's the point
of all these precautions?
96
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:30,473
I've already lost
97
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,141
the only thing
that matters to me.
98
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,519
Lisa, stop pining
for your saxophone.
99
00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:36,145
I got you another instrument.
100
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:39,148
What, this jug?
101
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:43,111
Hee-hee!
Whee! Whoa-ho-ho!
102
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:48,699
Lisa, never, ever stop
in the middle of a hoedown.
103
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,703
Honey,
104
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:55,415
I didn't realize how much
that horn meant to you.
105
00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:59,043
Don't worry.
Daddy's gonna get it back.
106
00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:02,505
I don't know how but
I'll figure out something.
107
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,674
Thank you.
108
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:07,427
You know, Lisa,
music helps Daddy think.
109
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:19,188
Welcome, neighbors.
110
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,899
Since the police can't seem
to get off their duffaroonies
111
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,694
to do something
about this burglareeno,
112
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,530
I think it's time we start
our own neighborhood watch...
113
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:28,865
aroonie!
114
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,451
Now, who should lead the group?
115
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:33,202
- You!
- Yea!
116
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,286
Flanders!
117
00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,456
Flanders! Flanders!
118
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,350
I don't really have
very much experience, but...
119
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:40,543
- Someone else!
- Yea!
120
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:41,711
Someone else!
121
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,838
Someone else!
Someone else!
122
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,840
- I'm someone else.
- He's right!
123
00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:48,426
We don't need a thinker.
We need a doer.
124
00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:50,970
Someone who'll act without
considering the consequences.
125
00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:53,848
Homer! Homer! Homer!
126
00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:56,184
- I'm with you, Homer!
- I be with ya too, matey.
127
00:07:56,267 --> 00:07:58,728
- I'm with you, Homer.
- You're the man, Homer.
128
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:00,938
- You should do it.
- You're the man, man.
129
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,191
I'll join! I'm filled with
piss and vinegar.
130
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:05,485
At first I was just
filled with vinegar.
131
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,862
Sorry, Dad.
You're too old.
132
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:10,656
Too old?
133
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,910
Why, that just means
I have experience!
134
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,078
Who chased the Irish out
of Springfield Village
135
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,162
in aught-four?
136
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:19,081
Me! That's who.
137
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,250
And a fine job you did too.
138
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:25,087
Aw, Dad, you've done
a lot of great things,
139
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,340
but you're a very old man now,
140
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:29,717
and old people are useless.
141
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,886
Aren't they? Aren't they?
142
00:08:31,969 --> 00:08:33,763
Yes, they are!
Yes, they are!
143
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,267
Stop it!
It's a form of abuse!
144
00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,063
Arr!
145
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:45,566
I don't think the guns
are a good idea.
146
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,110
Marge!
We're responsible adults.
147
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,112
Whoops.
148
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,490
And if a group of
responsible adults
149
00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:54,367
can't handle firearms
in a responsible way...
150
00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:55,451
Sorry.
151
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:57,577
Me again.
152
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,038
Sorry.
153
00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:07,301
Okay, we've got the secret
vigilante handshake.
154
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,881
Now we need code names.
155
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,217
I'll be Cue Ball,
Skinner can be Eight Ball,
156
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:14,178
Barney will be Twelve Ball,
and, Moe, you can be Cue Ball.
157
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:15,262
You're an idiot.
158
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:21,394
So, wedding?
159
00:09:21,477 --> 00:09:23,354
No, we're forming
a vigilante group.
160
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:25,690
Come with me.
161
00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:28,234
See, it's a miniature
version of the A-bomb.
162
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:30,278
The government
built it in the '50s
163
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:31,362
to drop on beatniks.
164
00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:36,409
"Radiant, cool,
crazy nightmares.
165
00:09:36,492 --> 00:09:39,078
Zen New Jersey nowhere."
166
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,166
Put this in your pipe
and smoke it!
167
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:53,801
"How now, brown bureaucrat?"
168
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,723
Whoo-hoo!
169
00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,975
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
170
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:03,978
Whaa-ha-ha-ho!
171
00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:06,230
Take that,
Maynard G. Krebs!
172
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:09,108
- Hey, see the sign?
- Sorry.
173
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:17,033
Okay, men. It's time
to clean up this town!
174
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,410
Meaning what, exactly?
175
00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:22,079
You know, push people around,
make ourselves feel big.
176
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:24,540
Bart, give me
that megaphone of yours.
177
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,000
It's not just
"a megaphone," Dad.
178
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:27,585
It's a Rapmaster 2000.
179
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:30,171
Never mind the commercials.
Just give it to me.
180
00:10:30,254 --> 00:10:32,715
I've gotta whip
this neighborhood into shape.
181
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:38,220
- Move along there.
- It's Hammer!
182
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,306
♪♪
183
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:44,477
Return to your homes
and places of businesses.
184
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:54,612
Hey, you!
185
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,530
Where'd you get that saxophone?
186
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,324
- Sears.
- Get him!
187
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:00,743
I got him! I got him!
188
00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:04,789
No burning leaves
without a permit!
189
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,457
- I got one.
- Too late!
190
00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:16,926
You better have a good reason
for doing that, boy.
191
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:20,513
It makes me feel like a big man.
192
00:11:20,596 --> 00:11:23,891
Let me check my reason list.
Yep, it's on here.
193
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:27,186
Hey, you're that drunken posse.
194
00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:29,647
Wow! Can I join ya?
195
00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:30,773
I don't know.
196
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,692
Can you swing a sack
of doorknobs?
197
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,111
- Can I!
- You're in. Here's the sack.
198
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:37,321
But you gotta supply
your own knobs.
199
00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:39,740
So I said to him, "Look, buddy,
200
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:42,410
"your car was upside down
when we got here.
201
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:44,078
"And as for your grandma,
202
00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:46,080
she shouldn't have
mouthed off like that!"
203
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:47,998
Dad, don't you see
you're abusing your power
204
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,875
like all vigilantes?
205
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,212
I mean, if you're the police,
who will police the police?
206
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:55,297
I dunno.
Coast Guard?
207
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:58,050
Homer, wasn't the whole point
to catch the cat burglar?
208
00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:00,261
And I still don't have
my saxophone.
209
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:03,097
Lisa, the mob is working on
getting your saxophone back,
210
00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:05,975
but we've also expanded
into other important areas.
211
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:07,893
Literacy programs,
212
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,645
preserving our beloved
covered bridges,
213
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,605
world domination.
214
00:12:11,689 --> 00:12:15,443
- World domination?
- That might be a typo.
215
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:16,569
Mental note:
216
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:18,612
The girl knows too much.
217
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:21,282
Mr. Simpson, how do you respond
to the charge
218
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:24,618
that petty vandalism
such as graffiti is down 80%,
219
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:28,330
while heavy sack beatings
are up a shocking 900%?
220
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,207
People can
come up with statistics
221
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,417
to prove anything, Kent.
222
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,794
Forfty percent
of all people know that.
223
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,464
I see. Well, what do you
say to the accusation
224
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:37,816
that your group
has been causing more crimes
225
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:38,859
than it's been preventing?
226
00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:40,718
Kent, I'd be lying
227
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:43,429
if I said my men
weren't committing crimes.
228
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,474
Touché.
229
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:49,894
Well, it looks like
we have our first caller.
230
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:52,938
And I mean ever because
this is not a call-in show.
231
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,399
- Hello. You're on the air.
- Hello, Kent.
232
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:58,652
Hello, Homer, my arch nemesis.
233
00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:00,571
Y'ello.
234
00:13:00,654 --> 00:13:03,032
You do realize who this is.
235
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,159
Marge?
236
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:07,203
No, Homer, I'm not your wife,
237
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:09,747
although I do enjoy her pearls.
238
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:12,875
As a matter of fact,
I'm holding them right now.
239
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,376
Listen.
240
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:15,920
Why, you monster!
241
00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:18,506
And you have my daughter's
saxophone too!
242
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,552
Homer!
That's our stage manager!
243
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:26,013
Sorry.
I'm a little nervous.
244
00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:28,516
It may interest you to know
that for my next crime,
245
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:29,826
I'll be pinching
the pride and joy of
246
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,685
the Springfield Museum,
247
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,063
the world's largest
cubic zirconia.
248
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,065
Listen, Mr. Cat Burglar.
249
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:38,067
I vow to go without sleep
250
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:39,586
and guard the Springfield Museum
day and night
251
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,613
for as long as it takes
from now on,
252
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:43,924
unless you want to taunt me more
253
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,700
by giving me
an approximate time.
254
00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:49,328
- We'll be right back.
- I get to say that!
255
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:55,626
Son, we want to help you
catch that plug-ugly yegg.
256
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:58,337
Dad, the best way
for you to help
257
00:13:58,420 --> 00:13:59,964
is to set a good example.
258
00:14:00,047 --> 00:14:01,882
Just stand around
and don't steal anything.
259
00:14:04,885 --> 00:14:07,096
- Hey!
- We're on our break!
260
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:09,682
- Any sign of the burglar yet?
- He'll show.
261
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:11,058
- How's that?
- It's his job.
262
00:14:11,141 --> 00:14:12,434
- How's that?
- He's a burglar.
263
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,813
♪♪
264
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,696
Well, Mr. Cat Burglar.
265
00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:26,490
You'd like to get in here,
wouldn't you?
266
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:28,701
There's just
one little problem...
267
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,786
Thirty-six years ago,
some lady gave birth to
268
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,998
a man named Homer J. Simp...
My God!
269
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:36,417
Underage kids drinking beer
without a permit!
270
00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:50,097
Chug! Chug! Chug!
271
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:51,515
Chug! Chug! Chug!
272
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,062
"Asleep at the switch"?
273
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:59,523
I wasn't asleep.
I was drunk!
274
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,567
I believe you, Dad.
275
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:03,319
Well, no matter
what the paper says,
276
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:04,778
I still have a job to do.
277
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,659
Go home, Simpson!
278
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:15,456
You let me down, man!
279
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,875
Now I don't believe
in nothing no more.
280
00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,877
I'm going to law school.
281
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,880
No!!
282
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:25,507
Dad, maybe this
will cheer you up.
283
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:30,679
This doesn't work anymore.
284
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,640
I didn't say stop.
285
00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:38,729
My. I had no idea
286
00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:40,689
how much this town loved
that zirconia.
287
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,275
Let me through!
Coming through!
288
00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,903
Grandpa, they pelted you too?
289
00:15:45,986 --> 00:15:48,656
No, actually I fell down
at the Big Boy.
290
00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:50,991
Son, I've come to help you.
291
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:53,285
I know who the cat burglar is.
292
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,369
- What?
- Who?
293
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:55,411
What?
294
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,665
Well, well, well.
295
00:15:57,748 --> 00:16:01,543
Before, I was too old
and no one wanted my help.
296
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:05,506
Suddenly, look who comes
to old grandpa with...
297
00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:08,676
Wait! Where are you going?
Come back. I'll tell you.
298
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:12,262
He was right under my nose
the whole time.
299
00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:14,306
He lives in my retirement home.
300
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,849
His name is Malloy.
301
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:18,602
Wow! How'd you
track him down, Grandpa?
302
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:20,604
Good question.
303
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,690
On one of my frequent trips
to the ground...
304
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:28,070
I noticed Malloy
wore sneakers...
305
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:29,989
for sneaking!
306
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,907
My next clue came just yesterday
307
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,242
at the museum.
308
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,577
We felt slighted
by your age bashing
309
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,413
and started home.
310
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:41,291
Malloy said,
"I'll catch up with you."
311
00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:47,840
I couldn't quite
put my finger on it.
312
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:50,926
There was something strange
about the way he walked.
313
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,679
Much more vertical than usual.
314
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:57,641
And finally, Malloy,
unlike most retired people,
315
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,727
has the world's largest
cubic zirconia
316
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,229
on his coffee table.
317
00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:04,231
Aw, Dad, I could kiss ya!
318
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:05,816
Well, kiss me right here.
319
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,002
It's the only part
that still has feeling.
320
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,861
Mwah!
321
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,237
No, wait!
322
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,489
I know where the burglar is!
323
00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:15,951
- To the retirement home!
- Hooray!
324
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,954
Let's go!
325
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:22,666
And there she is,
326
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,294
the world's largest
cubic zirconia.
327
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,296
What an eyesore!
328
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:28,922
So, Mr. Malloy,
329
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,717
it seems that the cat
has been caught
330
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,804
by the very person
that was trying to catch him.
331
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,515
- How ironic.
- Homer, old chap, well done.
332
00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,350
If anyone was going to catch me,
333
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:41,852
I'm glad it was you.
334
00:17:41,935 --> 00:17:45,773
Actually, it wasn't me.
It was my dad, Grandpa.
335
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:47,775
Thanks, son.
336
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:51,653
So you see, old people
aren't so useless after all.
337
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,531
Malloy's old, and he
outsmarted the lot of you.
338
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,992
And I'm even older,
and I outsmarted him!
339
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,205
- Shut up.
- I've had my moment.
340
00:18:01,288 --> 00:18:03,582
And of course,
I'm happy to return
341
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:05,626
all of your
treasured possessions.
342
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,505
Selma, my dear,
343
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:11,298
your lock of MacGyver's hair.
344
00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:14,176
Thank you.
I'll add it to the ball.
345
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:18,764
And little Lisa,
here's your saxophone.
346
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:21,642
Thank you, and thank you, Dad.
347
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:23,060
You got it back,
348
00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:24,978
just like you said you would.
349
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:26,688
I sincerely regret
any inconvenience
350
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,315
I may have caused,
351
00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:30,734
and although I have stolen
your material goods,
352
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:33,445
let me assure you
that your dear town
353
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:34,529
has stolen my heart.
354
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:36,573
Aww!
355
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:39,618
- He's so charming.
- Let's let him go.
356
00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,829
- Yeah!
- Sorry, folks.
357
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:44,748
Gee, I really hate to spoil
this little love-in,
358
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:47,209
but Mr. Malloy
broke the law.
359
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,795
And when you break the law,
you gotta go to jail.
360
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:52,714
That reminds me.
Here's your monthly kickback.
361
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,801
You just... You couldn't
have picked a worse time.
362
00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:57,678
I caught the cat burglar!
363
00:18:57,761 --> 00:18:59,179
I caught the cat burglar!
364
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:03,058
That means you!
You are the cat burglar!
365
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,810
I suppose you're
wondering where I hid
366
00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:06,329
all the millions of dollars
that I stole over the years.
367
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:07,980
- Shut up!
- Wait a minute.
368
00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:09,356
Maybe we should hear him out.
369
00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:11,191
Where'd you hide
the loot, Malloy?
370
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,277
It's buried right here
in Springfield,
371
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,987
under a big "T."
372
00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:17,114
No kidding.
373
00:19:17,197 --> 00:19:19,116
Big "T,"
374
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:23,495
Well, I guess I'll be going
to my home now
375
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:25,914
and sleep.
376
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,000
Yeah, me too.
377
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:31,461
I will also go home...
for sleep.
378
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:35,966
Let me through!
I gotta find a big "T"!
379
00:19:36,049 --> 00:19:39,303
There's millions of dollars
buried under a big "T"!
380
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:41,471
What?
381
00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:51,982
We need more information.
382
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:55,235
Very well. It's buried
at 4723 Maple Valley Road.
383
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:02,117
You take highway 201
south for 15 minutes.
384
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,620
You take a left, a left...
385
00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:21,511
Whoa!
That was fun, ladies!
386
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:25,557
What's the matter with you, kid?
387
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:27,768
You told me
the stream was shallow!
388
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:29,519
Why, you... I...
389
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:32,522
You. Kid.
390
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:35,275
I'll get even with you.
391
00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:40,280
Hordes of panicky people seem
to be evacuating the town
392
00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:41,448
for some unknown reason.
393
00:20:41,531 --> 00:20:42,991
Professor,
394
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,494
without knowing precisely
what the danger is,
395
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,829
would you say it's time
for our viewers to
396
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,289
crack each other's heads open
397
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:52,000
and feast on the goo inside?
398
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,084
Yes, I would, Kent.
399
00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:04,846
♪♪
400
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,364
Whoa.
I found something.
401
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,202
Come on.
Pull it out.
402
00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,832
- It's just a piece of paper.
- It's mine!
403
00:21:31,915 --> 00:21:33,542
"Frightfully sorry,
404
00:21:33,625 --> 00:21:35,752
"but there is no
hidden treasure.
405
00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:38,755
"I have already used this time
to escape from your jail.
406
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:40,215
Fondest wishes..."
407
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,050
I can't make out the signature!
408
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,594
Keep digging. We're bound
to find something.
409
00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:49,057
I guess we're
not gonna find anything.
410
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,977
How are we gonna
get out of here?
411
00:21:52,060 --> 00:21:55,063
We'll dig our way out!
412
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:57,983
No, no.
Dig up, stupid.
413
00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:05,574
♪♪
414
00:22:48,408 --> 00:22:49,951
Shh!
415
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:55,749
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