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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'
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Aah!
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No. I can't see.
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I'm blind. Blind!
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Ha ha!
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April fool's.
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Hee... hee...
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Aah!
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Ha ha! April fool's.
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I been keeping
that carton of milk
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next to the furnace
for six weeks. Sucker!
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You're going down, Homer.
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I'm gonna fool you.
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You talk better than you fool.
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I'll fool you up real nice.
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You couldn't fool your mother
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on the foolingest day
of your life
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if you had an electrified
fooling machine.
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Pee-yew.
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00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:06,000
What noble visionary
thought up April Fool's day?
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00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,211
Like Halloween and Christmas,
April Fool's day
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traces its origins
to pagan ritual.
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God bless those pagans.
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April first used to be
the pagan new year.
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Blood for Baal! Blood for Baal!
27
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Blood for Baal!
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00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:25,270
The Christians
changed their calendar
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and ridiculed those who didn't.
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Happy New Year!
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Heigh-ho, pagans.
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New year's was three months ago,
but here's a present any-who.
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It's ram's blood
for your godless ceremony.
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April Fool's.
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Now who's laughing?!
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Now who's laughing?!
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And that's the story
of April Fool's day.
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00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:54,549
Dad, I was telling the story.
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Right.
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Thar she blows.
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The catch of the day.
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- Arr.
- Arrgh. Arr.
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Arrgh.
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Arr.
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Why, ye mutinous dogs.
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From this day,
I be requiring hairnets.
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Arr... argh... arr...
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I've got to fool him
before the day is out.
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But how?
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He must have a weakness.
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Beer.
My one weakness.
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My Achilles heel, if you will.
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Beer!
Beer is the cheese.
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But how to use it...
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Whoo! It's a good thing
56
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:37,759
that beer wasn't
shaken up any more
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or I'd have looked
quite the fool...
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00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,846
An April fool, as it were.
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00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:50,480
Hey, kid, that's for
customers only.
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Did you know
there's a guy outside
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handing out free Stridex pads?
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00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,653
Wow! I'm in
pizza-face paradise.
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00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,363
Moron.
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00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:15,171
Ay! No es bueno!
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So thirsty.
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What are you going to do?
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The following
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is a public service
announcement.
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00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:41,030
Excessive alcohol consumption
can cause liver damage
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and cancer of the rectum.
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Beer...
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00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:57,630
April f...
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That sounded like an explosion
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00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,387
at the old Simpson place.
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00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,222
Forget it...
That's two blocks away.
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00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,975
Looks like there's beer
coming out of the chimney.
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I am proceeding on foot.
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Call in a code eight.
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We need pretzels.
Repeat, pretzels.
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00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:28,494
Mrs. Simpson, I'm afraid
your husband is dead.
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00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,290
April fool's.
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He's very much alive.
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Although I'm afraid
he may never walk again.
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00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:39,505
♪ Row, row, row your boat ♪
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♪ Gently down the stream... ♪
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- Homie!
- Marge!
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Homer has many,
many horrible problems.
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00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,390
These shadows are brain lesions
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resulting from
numerous blows to the head.
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00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:08,743
♪♪
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00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:33,559
And his brain waves are
disturbingly erratic.
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00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:37,063
You are wired into
the rest of your family.
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00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:39,148
You have the ability
to shock them
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00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,151
and they have
the ability to shock...
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Just testing.
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00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:44,277
Whoa!
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00:06:45,863 --> 00:06:47,623
Bart, how could you
shock your little sister?
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My finger slipped.
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So did mine.
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00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,162
Ay!
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Bart, Lisa, stop that.
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- Bart!
- Whoa!
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00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,169
No, no, no.
104
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,295
No, wait a minute.
105
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,797
Wait, wait.
106
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,257
Folks, folks, if I could...
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00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:07,427
This is not the way
to get healthy!
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00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:15,869
Mrs. Simpson,
can you think of anything
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00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:17,478
to account for all this?
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00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,105
I have no idea.
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00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:22,692
Unless it was that time
he kept falling down the cliff.
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I won't jump anymore.
I promise.
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Thank God, thank God, thank God.
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- I love you, Dad.
- I love you, too, son.
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00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,411
You know, boy, I don't think
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00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:36,914
I've ever felt this close
to you as I do right...
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00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,958
What?
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D-
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00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:45,131
Ooh!
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I'm gonna make it.
I'm gonna make it!
121
00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:48,968
This is the greatest thrill
of my life.
122
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:50,344
I'm king of the world!
123
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,929
Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo!
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00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,181
I...
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00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:56,601
Ooh!
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00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:59,395
Yee! Yow!
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D'Ooh!
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00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,486
Yow!
129
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,379
Ooh!
130
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:29,217
D'D'Ooh!
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00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:38,100
That still wouldn't explain
what I'm seeing here.
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00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,435
You look familiar.
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00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,354
Have we met before?
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Clear.
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00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:51,030
Clear.
136
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:52,532
Doctor, he's gone.
137
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:54,992
This is the part
of the job I hate.
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00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:00,873
You're a veterinarian?
139
00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,167
That's right.
And for an extra $20,
140
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:05,419
I'll give Homer a tick bath
and then spay him.
141
00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,421
- Here you go, Doc.
- Bart!
142
00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:09,799
Shop around.
You can't beat that price.
143
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:12,510
You guys must have been
pretty worried about me.
144
00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:15,096
Hey, we know you're tough, Dad.
145
00:09:15,179 --> 00:09:16,979
Remember that time
you got lost in the forest?
146
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:21,894
This is a trap.
147
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,688
It's gonna catch us
our dinner. C'mon, boy.
148
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,816
Shh! Just watch.
149
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:30,820
Ooh...
150
00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:33,906
A-ha! Got him.
151
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,663
Okay, okay,
152
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,791
this time, I'll just go
into the bushes over there
153
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:46,127
make a lot of noise,
and flush out a rabbit.
154
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,879
When he comes out,
you step on him.
155
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,298
Right, Dad.
156
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:54,802
Get them off me!
157
00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:56,165
Get them off me!
Get them off me!
158
00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:07,106
It's true... You have
good coping skills.
159
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:20,286
Your burgers are
getting cold, guys...
160
00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:21,871
Holy moley.
161
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,690
And there's one
Itchy and Scratchy cartoon
162
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:51,901
I don't think we'll ever forget.
163
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,040
Why did you bring that up?
164
00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,209
It was an amusing episode...
165
00:11:08,292 --> 00:11:09,919
of our lives.
166
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,630
Thanks for coming
to visit me, Moe.
167
00:11:12,713 --> 00:11:14,006
I brought you a little present.
168
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,967
No... no...
beer bring pain.
169
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,720
I can't stand
to see him like this.
170
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,534
He really needs a girlfriend.
171
00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:45,413
Marge, what if I wind up
as some vegetable
172
00:11:45,496 --> 00:11:47,415
watching TV on the couch?
173
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:50,668
My important work
will never be completed.
174
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,087
Society's loss, I suppose,
175
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:55,631
but our marriage has been
through hard times
176
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,842
and we always pull through.
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00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:16,652
♪♪
178
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:24,743
Marge!
179
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:26,579
What a lovely surprise.
180
00:12:26,662 --> 00:12:27,997
You're here to see me, right?
181
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,790
Of course.
182
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:39,592
Hey!
183
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:42,928
Way to go, Homer.
Way to go!
184
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:44,764
Hey, what'll I tell the boss?
185
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:47,808
Tell him I'm going
to the backseat of my car
186
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,894
with the woman I love,
187
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:52,980
and I won't be back
for ten minutes.
188
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,532
You can do it, Homer.
Stand up.
189
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,616
I can't.
190
00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:06,368
He just won't budge.
191
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,661
I've tried everything.
192
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,371
Nothing can reach him.
193
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:19,215
Chocolate.
194
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:59,755
Wow, chocolate, half price.
195
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,264
Chocolate...
196
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,065
Bah! Bah!
197
00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:19,942
Bah!
198
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:23,237
Can't breathe...
199
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,572
sweet chocolate...
200
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:27,074
cutting off air...
201
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,039
Nuts.
202
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:39,168
Yeah.
203
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,466
Poor Homer.
204
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:48,470
This world was never meant
for one as beautiful as you.
205
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:51,849
Kill it!
206
00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:53,017
Kill it!
207
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,477
Grandpa, please, he's in a coma.
208
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,146
Coma?
209
00:14:57,229 --> 00:15:00,441
Why, I go in and out
of comas all the...
210
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,069
French toast, please.
211
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,237
Is a coma painful?
212
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:06,989
Heck no.
213
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:11,076
You relive long-lost summers,
kiss girls from high school.
214
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,037
It's like one of those TV shows
215
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,456
where they show a bunch of clips
from old episodes.
216
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,124
Yeah, well, anyway,
217
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:19,168
I wonder what he's thinking now.
218
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:07,132
This man is costing
my health plan $5,000 a day.
219
00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:10,302
I demand that he die
with dignity.
220
00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:13,138
Now, look, I'm the doctor here.
221
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:15,307
Well, I demand a second opinion.
222
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:16,934
Hi, everybody!
223
00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,311
Hi, Dr. Nick!
224
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:21,604
Dear.
225
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,524
I see no signs of life.
226
00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:26,485
Just to be safe,
we'd better pull the plug.
227
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:27,945
Yoink.
228
00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:31,115
Mr. Burns, how can you be
so coldhearted?
229
00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:35,160
You have no idea, woman, what
that man's put me through.
230
00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,663
Mr. Burns,
231
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:39,206
I need to borrow some money.
232
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:41,208
Please, do go on.
233
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,335
I know you're a good man
234
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:46,714
and I have a dog
that's very sick.
235
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:48,799
Please, continue.
236
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:50,884
I thought maybe you...
237
00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:54,680
Well, thanks for your time.
238
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,517
I have an unorthodox solution...
239
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:02,438
A fantastic voyage, if you will.
240
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,357
Three scientists,
one a beautiful woman,
241
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,943
will be shrunk
to microscopic size.
242
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:11,280
They will then rendezvous
in Mr. Simpson's lower colon.
243
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:12,990
Ew!
244
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:17,327
Well, we have had a little
trouble finding volunteers.
245
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:21,290
I wish I'd gotten to know
you better, Dad,
246
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:24,084
but there were times
when we really connected.
247
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,421
Hi, Dad.
248
00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:28,940
Want me to cut out
this infernal racket?
249
00:17:28,964 --> 00:17:30,257
Let me hear you play.
250
00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:31,340
Why?
251
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,135
Does a father have to explain?
252
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,554
Let's just share
your gift, okay?
253
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:38,390
♪♪
254
00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:47,733
♪♪
255
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:51,695
Yeah, that's more like it.
256
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:54,656
Ho! Woo!
257
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:58,869
♪ I want to be
in that rumba ♪
258
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:02,706
♪ When the saints go
over there ♪
259
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:05,209
♪ Over there ♪
260
00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:07,753
♪ Over there... ♪
261
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,880
I wrote this for you, Dad.
262
00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:13,258
♪♪
263
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:29,108
Dad, I'm so sorry.
264
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:31,902
I know I haven't been
a perfect kid.
265
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:54,174
Why, you little...
266
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:57,136
♪♪
267
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,396
What the... D'
268
00:19:31,336 --> 00:19:33,922
I know that I got you mad
once in a while.
269
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,732
And sometimes,
I got into trouble.
270
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:00,341
Bart, you can't go on like this.
271
00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:01,365
I know.
272
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:06,121
But you always
looked out for me.
273
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,790
Homer, it's really coming down.
274
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,959
Could you check on the boys?
275
00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:15,088
They're fine.
276
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,341
And no matter what happens
277
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:20,385
I'll never forget
the advice you gave me.
278
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,346
Now come on, you're gonna
learn how to shave.
279
00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:27,768
And finally, the little spot
under your nose.
280
00:20:27,851 --> 00:20:30,520
Next, we take some toilet paper
281
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:33,523
tear off some teensy
little squares
282
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,943
and stick one there,
283
00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:37,402
and there,
284
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:38,737
and any place you're bleeding.
285
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:40,614
There, and there.
Don't worry.
286
00:20:40,697 --> 00:20:42,824
The blood will hold it
right on your face.
287
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:44,576
Now some after shave.
288
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:46,411
Ooh! Eeh!
289
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,209
You son of a...!
290
00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:54,544
And that's how we shave.
291
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,880
Dad, it's all my fault.
292
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:59,675
I shook up that can of beer.
293
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,468
It was just
an April fool's joke.
294
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:17,526
Why, you little...!
295
00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:19,194
Homie, you're all right!
296
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,196
We're a family again!
297
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:30,414
This calls for a celebration.
298
00:21:30,497 --> 00:21:31,623
We're all going to Hawaii.
299
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:35,335
Gotcha!
300
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:37,462
It's April fool's
for two more minutes.
301
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:39,464
Dad, it's May 16th.
302
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:41,550
You were in that coma
for seven weeks.
303
00:21:52,227 --> 00:21:54,771
You lost five percent
of your brain.
304
00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:57,065
Me lose brain?
305
00:22:04,531 --> 00:22:05,615
Why I laugh?
306
00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:12,039
♪♪
307
00:22:54,706 --> 00:22:56,041
Shh!
308
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,838
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
20036
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