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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,922 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:34,909 --> 00:00:35,994 D' 3 00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:38,913 Aah! 4 00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:56,848 Well, Edna, for a school with no Asian kids, 5 00:00:56,931 --> 00:01:01,019 I think we put on a pretty darn good science fair. 6 00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:02,353 Go-go ray? 7 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:03,646 Allow me to demonstrate. 8 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,232 Dah! 9 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,316 What the... 10 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:15,742 Can't... stop... doing... The Monkey. 11 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:26,711 I'm disrupting the learning process, 12 00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:29,047 and I love it! 13 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:31,633 First prize. First prize. 14 00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:33,093 First prize. 15 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:36,054 First prize. First prize. 16 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,889 Why are you saying that? 17 00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:39,432 Just screwing with your mind. 18 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:42,977 Homer, I want you 19 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,230 to encourage Lisa with her science fair project. 20 00:01:45,313 --> 00:01:48,066 Yeah, syrup is better than jelly. 21 00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:50,944 I've grown a futuristic tomato 22 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:53,571 by fertilizing it with anabolic steroids. 23 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,281 The kind that help our Olympic athletes 24 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,950 reach new peaks of excellence? 25 00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,535 The very same. 26 00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,787 I think this tomato could wipe out world hunger. 27 00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:04,457 More tomato? 28 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:05,875 Yes, please. 29 00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:10,505 Where's your science fair project, boy? 30 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,173 I thought I'd investigate the effects 31 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,300 of cigarette smoking on dogs. 32 00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:20,140 Bart, don't give the dog cigarettes. 33 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:22,892 Well... 34 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,686 time to go to work. 35 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,813 Little do they know I'm ducking out early 36 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,940 to take the Duff Brewery tour. 37 00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:31,526 Roll in at 9:00, punch out at 5:00. 38 00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:32,735 That's the plan. 39 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,192 They don't suspect a thing. 40 00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:38,700 Well, off to the plant. 41 00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:40,743 Then to the Duff Brewery. 42 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,997 Did I say that or just think it? 43 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,623 I got to think of a lie fast. 44 00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,584 Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery? 45 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:48,877 Aah! 46 00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:02,473 "If the plant ye wish to flee, 47 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:04,475 go to sector 7-B." 48 00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:19,949 "To overcome the spider's curse, 49 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,784 simply quote a bible verse." 50 00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,412 Thou shalt not... 51 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:33,296 Hey, that looks like Princess Di. 52 00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:37,592 Aw, wait, it's just a pile of rags. 53 00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,137 Bart, I forgot my math book. 54 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,473 Would you hold this for me, please? 55 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,474 Soitenly. 56 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,557 Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck. 57 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,646 Whoop. Shoe's untied. 58 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,356 Over, under, in and out. 59 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,733 That's what shoe tying's all about. 60 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:11,876 Noooo! 61 00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:23,513 Bart! 62 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,314 Welcome to the Duff brewery. 63 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,858 Now I'm sure all of you have heard the rumors 64 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,485 that a batch of Duff was contaminated 65 00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:38,568 with strychnine. 66 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:40,071 Strychnine? 67 00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:41,072 That's news to me. 68 00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:42,490 Are you sure? 69 00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:44,117 Well, everyone's talking about it. 70 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,910 It was even on CNN last night. 71 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:46,994 CNN? 72 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:49,956 Well, it's not true. Let's go! 73 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,213 Now here's one of our favorite Duff Beer commercials 74 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,674 from the early 1950s. 75 00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:03,928 Only Duff fills your Q-zone with pure beer goodness. 76 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,889 So drink up... 77 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:07,973 and up... 78 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,016 and up. 79 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:13,771 Duff Beer, 80 00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,190 Proud sponsors of "Amos 'n' Andy." 81 00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,526 We're proud of all of our Duff commercials, 82 00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:21,946 but here's a very special one from 1960. 83 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,490 Well, I would suggest, Mr. Vanocur, 84 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,284 that if you knew the president, 85 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:29,162 that that was probably just a facetious remark. 86 00:05:29,245 --> 00:05:32,081 And now a word from our sponsor. 87 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,000 I would like to take this opportunity 88 00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:36,711 to express my fondness for Duff Beer. 89 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:41,549 I'd also like to express my fondness 90 00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:43,176 for that particular beer. 91 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,513 The man never drank a Duff in his life. 92 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,725 And here we have Duff, Duff Lite, 93 00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:53,144 and our newest flavor, Duff Dry. 94 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:57,315 What does the future hold for Duff? 95 00:05:57,398 --> 00:06:00,318 Let's just say we've got a few ideas up our sleeve. 96 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:02,445 - Like what? - Um... 97 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:03,922 I'd rather not get into it right now. 98 00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:05,198 - Why not? - All right, 99 00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:06,824 we don't have any ideas for the future. 100 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,035 - We got nothing. Happy? - No. 101 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,498 Mom, Bart wrecked my project 102 00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:16,125 and the science fair's in three days. 103 00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:19,879 Well, I've got an idea. 104 00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:21,023 Why don't you run a hamster 105 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,507 through a maze? 106 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,096 Help me. Help me! 107 00:06:30,014 --> 00:06:31,224 What's so funny? 108 00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:33,726 I was just thinking 109 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,354 of a joke I saw on "Herman's Head". 110 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,441 Now this is the most important man on the tour. 111 00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:43,027 He's in charge of quality control. 112 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,655 Fine. Fine. Mouse. Fine. 113 00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:48,616 Mouse. Rat. Fine. Syringe. Fine. 114 00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:50,034 Nose. Fine. 115 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:53,162 Let me just say, you're doing a great job, Phil. 116 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,414 Hey, thanks a lot. 117 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:55,748 That makes it all worthwhile. 118 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,085 Gummi beer. 119 00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,131 Hey, Barney, I think you've had enough. 120 00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:04,590 Are you crazy? 121 00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:07,218 We still haven't tried Raspberry Duff, 122 00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:10,471 Lady Duff, Tartar Control Duff... 123 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:18,938 Barney, give me your keys. 124 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:20,356 You're too drunk to drive. 125 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,607 I'm fine. 126 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:25,361 Okay. You leave me no option. 127 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,238 What was that for? 128 00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:29,240 I'm trying to knock you out! 129 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,701 Cut it out! 130 00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,461 All right, here. Take the keys. 131 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,552 Look alive, boys. 132 00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:51,804 A couple of stewed prunes heading your way. 133 00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:57,018 Gulp. 134 00:07:57,101 --> 00:08:00,021 ♪ ...w, x, y and z ♪ 135 00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:02,815 ♪ Now I know my abc's ♪ 136 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,985 ♪ Won't you come and play with me? ♪ 137 00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:07,195 Flawless. 138 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,338 We also would have accepted 139 00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:10,448 "Tell me what you think of me." 140 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:11,449 Well, I guess you're free to... 141 00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:12,909 Give him the breathalyzer! 142 00:08:15,077 --> 00:08:17,121 - You're under arrest. - D' 143 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:19,916 Think you can get this car home? 144 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,959 Sure thing, giant beer. 145 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,338 Ooh! 146 00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,632 Mother of mercy! 147 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,260 Hey, this is kind of fun. 148 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,137 Whee! 149 00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:34,221 Whee! 150 00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:40,770 Hello? 151 00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:43,397 Yeah, Mrs. Simpson I have some bad news. 152 00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,691 Your husband was found D.O.A. 153 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,401 My god! He's dead?! 154 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:49,028 Wait! I mean D.W.I. 155 00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,657 I always get those two mixed up. 156 00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,367 My name's Mrs. Phillips. 157 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:56,953 You said my husband is D.W.I.? 158 00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:01,332 Why don't you talk to that officer over there? 159 00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:02,458 I'm going out to lunch. 160 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,752 Don't worry, Homer. 161 00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:06,712 I have a foolproof strategy 162 00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:07,713 to get you out of here. 163 00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,799 Surprise witnesses... 164 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,634 Each more surprising than the last. 165 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:14,554 I tell you, the judge won't know what hit him. 166 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,890 Pipe down in there, Hutz. 167 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,934 Your license is hereby revoked, 168 00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:21,519 and you are to attend traffic school, 169 00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,646 and two months of alch-anon meetings. 170 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:25,481 Your honor, I'd like that last remark 171 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,358 - stricken from the record. - No. 172 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,780 It doesn't get any better than this. 173 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:36,117 I want the most intelligent hamster you've got. 174 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,368 Okay. 175 00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:40,580 This little guy writes mysteries 176 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,748 under the name of J.D. MacGregor. 177 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,750 How can a hamster write mysteries? 178 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:48,004 Well, he gets the ending first then he works backward. 179 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,171 Aw, come on. 180 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,590 Look, kid, just take him 181 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:51,900 before his mother eats him, all right? 182 00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,551 Have a good day at work, honey. 183 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,017 Ha-ha! 184 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,101 Stupid bicycle. 185 00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:03,269 Can't believe this. 186 00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:04,729 No good, rotten... 187 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,191 I guess it's not all bad. 188 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:12,153 "I propose to determine the answer to the question: 189 00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:15,239 Is my brother dumber than a hamster?" 190 00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,074 Hey, Lis. Look what I can do. 191 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:20,744 Doggone it. 192 00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:36,802 Remarkable! 193 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,640 Stupid books. 194 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,016 Hey, a cupcake. 195 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,647 Dah! 196 00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:53,569 Hamster: One... 197 00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,863 Bart: Zero. 198 00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:57,698 Experiment two. 199 00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:00,660 The food is connected to a mild electrical current. 200 00:11:02,411 --> 00:11:05,081 The hamster has learned a valuable lesson... 201 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,208 "Beware the hand of man." 202 00:11:13,130 --> 00:11:15,132 A wise guy? 203 00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:27,436 Hamster: Two, Bart: Zero. 204 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:31,732 Now, if any of you ever think of drinking and driving again, 205 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:34,235 this film will scare the pants off of you. 206 00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:40,574 Guys, guys, this is the wrong movie. 207 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:42,326 Wait a second. 208 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,690 I do something really funny here. 209 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,721 What a terrible waste. 210 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:04,098 Hi. I'm actor Troy McClure. 211 00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:06,726 You might remember me from such driver's ed films as 212 00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:09,186 "Alice's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass 213 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,897 and "The Decapitation of Larry Leadfoot." 214 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,691 For the next 60 minutes, 215 00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:17,403 we'll be seeing actual film of car crash victims. 216 00:12:36,881 --> 00:12:38,507 Here's an appealing fellow. 217 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:41,218 In fact, they're a-peeling him off the sidewalk. 218 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,222 It's funny 'cause I don't know him. 219 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,059 I'm here for the alch-anon meeting. 220 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:50,853 Third door on your left. 221 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,646 Coping with senility? 222 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:55,357 No. I'm here for microwave cookery. 223 00:12:55,441 --> 00:12:56,901 No, wait. 224 00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:58,360 Coping with senility. 225 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,281 My name is Ned. 226 00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:03,824 - Hello, Ned. - Hello, Ned. 227 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:07,119 It's been 4,000 days since my last drink. 228 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:10,498 It was my first and last blackberry schnapps. 229 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,836 Ned, did you clip Ann Landers today? 230 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,339 Ann Landers is a boring old biddy. 231 00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:19,548 Ned! 232 00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:23,803 I was more animal than man. 233 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:25,763 My name is Otto. 234 00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:28,182 I love to get blotto. 235 00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:30,559 My name is Hans. 236 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,770 Drinking has ruined my life. 237 00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:35,815 I'm 31 years old. 238 00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,483 My name is Homer, 239 00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:39,461 and I'm just here because the court made me come. 240 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:40,653 Homer, with our help, 241 00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:43,197 you'll never touch a beer again. 242 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,622 So they say I might have a problem. 243 00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,626 Homie, do you ever drink alone? 244 00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,378 Does the Lord count as a person? 245 00:13:57,461 --> 00:13:58,546 No. 246 00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:00,047 Then yes. 247 00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:02,216 Do you need a beer to fall asleep? 248 00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:03,551 Thank you. That would be nice. 249 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:06,095 Do you ever hide beer around the house? 250 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,178 Do I ever. 251 00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:12,852 Do you ever drink to escape from reality? 252 00:14:20,192 --> 00:14:22,695 Homie, I'd like you to do something for me. 253 00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:24,154 You name it. 254 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:26,198 I want you to give up beer for a month. 255 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,284 You got it. No deer for a month. 256 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,828 Did you say "beer" or "deer"? 257 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:33,789 Deer. 258 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,666 Please, Homie. 259 00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,377 I know you can do this. 260 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,753 All right. 261 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:42,047 Starting tomorrow, no beer for a month. 262 00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:47,011 What was that noise? 263 00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:48,971 I was saying, "Psst, I love you." 264 00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,934 Bart, could you go get the cupcakes? 265 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:55,477 Cupcakes, cupcakes! 266 00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:56,937 Yes, sweet cakes for all. 267 00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:13,787 Well, beer, we've had some great times. 268 00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:18,709 ♪ When I was seventeen ♪ 269 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:22,504 ♪ I drank some very good beer ♪ 270 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:28,510 ♪ I drank some very good beer I purchased with a fake I.D. ♪ 271 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:31,805 ♪ My name was Brian McGee ♪ 272 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:35,392 ♪ I stayed up listening to Queen ♪ 273 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:38,312 ♪ When I was seventeen ♪ 274 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:49,782 She'll pay for this. 275 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:52,076 I'm going to crush her like this pellet. 276 00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:02,962 Looking for something? 277 00:16:03,045 --> 00:16:04,630 What have you done with my report? 278 00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:06,507 I've hidden it. 279 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:08,610 To find it, you'll need to decipher a series of clues, 280 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:09,819 - each more fiendish than... - Got it. 281 00:16:09,843 --> 00:16:10,843 D' 282 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:16,517 Behold gravity in all its glory. 283 00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:22,523 Pretty lame, Milhouse. 284 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:24,274 Can I touch it? 285 00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:25,710 I've worked too long and hard on this 286 00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:26,902 for you to screw it up now. 287 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,654 But it's got my name on it. 288 00:16:28,737 --> 00:16:31,156 Just stand over there. 289 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,241 Over there! 290 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,284 Behold the flying machine 291 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,787 that will carry me, Phileas Fogg, 292 00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:40,374 around the world in 80 days. 293 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,755 Dang! I was aiming for his head. 294 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,799 Don't think about beer. 295 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,723 Alcohol-fueled car. 296 00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:58,308 One for you. One for me. 297 00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:01,061 One for you. One for me. 298 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:07,151 I don't know if I like you experimenting on your brother. 299 00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,736 Please, Mother, 300 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:11,697 it's purely in the interest of science. 301 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:13,657 That'll learn him to bust my tomater. 302 00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:21,081 Step right up, folks. 303 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:22,583 We'll answer the question 304 00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:25,002 that has been plaguing scientists for ages... 305 00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:27,337 Can hamsters fly planes? 306 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,925 Look he's got miniature goggles on. 307 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,177 And a little scarf. 308 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,763 - Isn't that adorable? - Ho! 309 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:39,058 But this project has no scientific merit. 310 00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,267 Take a hike, sister. 311 00:17:40,350 --> 00:17:41,685 Missy, sour grapes. 312 00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:44,271 Lisa, every good scientist is half B.F. Skinner 313 00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:46,315 and half P.T. Barnum. 314 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,238 I don't think I need to see the other exhibits. 315 00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,860 First prize. 316 00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,241 One down. 317 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,327 29 to go. 318 00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,245 Down with sexism! 319 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:03,957 Down with sexism! 320 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,918 Look at all those feminists. 321 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,753 You thinking what I'm thinking? 322 00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:14,968 - Yeah! - Yeah! 323 00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,553 All right! 324 00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:22,309 TV, have you turned on me too? 325 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,232 The windup and the two-two pitch... 326 00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:29,817 No, sir! Wait a minute. 327 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,694 The batter is calling for time. 328 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,572 Looks like he's going and getting himself a new bat. 329 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,742 And now there's a beach ball on the field. 330 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,410 And the ball boys are discussing 331 00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,788 which one of them's going to go get it. 332 00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:46,500 I never realized how boring this game is. 333 00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:50,379 I think I've lost weight. 334 00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:52,089 You've never looked better. 335 00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,593 Thank you all for coming. 336 00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,804 We've got some very interesting developments 337 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,806 in the field of supperware. 338 00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:04,977 This is the 128-ounce tub. 339 00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:06,937 You can fit your whole head in it. 340 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,234 Don't be scared, Jubjub. 341 00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:14,069 It's mama. 342 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,029 I would kill everyone in this room 343 00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:18,740 for a drop of sweet beer. 344 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:22,202 So, Homer, please feel free to tell us anything. 345 00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:23,996 There's no judgment here. 346 00:19:24,079 --> 00:19:27,082 The other day I was so desperate for a beer 347 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,750 I snuck into the football stadium 348 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:30,228 and ate the dirt under the bleachers. 349 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:33,213 I cast thee out! 350 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:34,339 Don't think about beer. 351 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:35,465 Don't think about beer. 352 00:19:35,549 --> 00:19:37,342 Don't think about beer. 353 00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,774 Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, 354 00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:49,651 chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug. 355 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:04,995 No! 356 00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:09,291 30 days. 357 00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:11,043 I'm proud of you, Homie. 358 00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:12,461 Marge, I'm going to Moe's. 359 00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:13,837 Send the kids to the neighbors 360 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,130 I'm coming back loaded. 361 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:20,344 You don't have to start drinking right away. 362 00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:22,679 I was thinking we could go for a bike ride. 363 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:25,641 But Marge, the barflies are expecting me. 364 00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:29,603 Moe and Barney and that guy who calls me Bill. 365 00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:31,188 But you look better. 366 00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:33,357 You don't sweat while you eat anymore, 367 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:36,276 and look, you've saved more than $100. 368 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,861 I found it in your pants. 369 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,279 Yoink! 370 00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,867 Well, well, 371 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,369 look who it is? 372 00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:48,330 Mr. I-don't-need-alcohol- to-enjoy-life. 373 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,123 We hate him, right, fellas? 374 00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:54,253 Moe, give me a beer. 375 00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,588 Hey, everybody, Homer's back! 376 00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:12,688 Come on, Homer, do it for your old pal, Moesy. 377 00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:16,066 But, Moe, yesterday you called Homer a worthless sack of... 378 00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:17,943 Pipe down, Rub-a-dub! 379 00:21:21,738 --> 00:21:23,031 Put it in the fridge, Moe. 380 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,950 I've got a date with my wife. 381 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:27,661 You'll be back! 382 00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:29,371 And so will you, 383 00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:30,372 and you, 384 00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:32,874 and you. 385 00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:34,501 Of course, I'll be back. 386 00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:36,461 If you didn't close, I'd never leave. 387 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:41,008 ♪ Raindrops keep falling on my head ♪ 388 00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:46,138 ♪ But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red ♪ 389 00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:49,224 ♪ La-la la-la-la, la ♪ 390 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:54,021 ♪ La-la la-la-la-la-la la-la la-la-la... ♪ 391 00:21:54,104 --> 00:21:58,442 ♪ Because I'm free ♪ 392 00:21:58,525 --> 00:22:03,363 ♪ Nothing's worrying me ♪ 393 00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:09,202 ♪♪ 394 00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:22,549 ♪ It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me ♪ 395 00:22:27,262 --> 00:22:30,932 ♪ Raindrops keep falling on my head ♪ 396 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:36,313 ♪ But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red ♪ 397 00:22:36,396 --> 00:22:38,648 ♪ Crying's not for me ♪ 398 00:22:38,732 --> 00:22:44,154 ♪ 'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complaining ♪ 399 00:22:44,237 --> 00:22:48,575 ♪ Because I'm free ♪ 400 00:22:48,658 --> 00:22:53,789 ♪ Nothing's worrying me ♪ 401 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:02,464 CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC. 27221

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