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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'
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Aah!
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00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,836
♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪
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♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪
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♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪
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♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪
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♪ Springfield cops
are on the case ♪
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♪ But what do you expect
for the money we make? ♪
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♪ Whether in a car
or on a bus ♪
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♪ We don't mind
using excessive force ♪
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00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:49,234
♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪
13
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♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪
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All right, boys.
15
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Time to bag us a cattle rustler.
16
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:59,869
What in God's name
are you doing?
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00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,997
Isn't this
742 Evergreen Terrace?
18
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,999
No, that's next door.
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00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:13,800
Close, but no doughnut, cops.
20
00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:15,343
This is Papa Bear.
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00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:18,513
Put out an A.P.B.
For a male suspect driving a...
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car of some sort
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heading in the direction of...
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you know,
that place that sells chili.
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00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:27,522
Suspect is hatless.
Repeat. Hatless.
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00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:31,651
I can't wait till they throw
his hatless butt in jail.
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00:02:31,734 --> 00:02:34,487
Honey, you really shouldn't
eat so much in bed.
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00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,865
It's not good for your heart.
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My heart is just fine.
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Homie, what is it?
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Just working the turkey through.
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There it goes.
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Hey, Lis, there was
a big train wreck last night.
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- Do you want to see the victims?
- Okay.
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00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:58,011
Bart, that's gross.
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00:02:58,094 --> 00:02:59,554
You're right.
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00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,514
Let's bury them at sea.
38
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,433
Dad!
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What's wrong?
40
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,022
You know that feeling
you get when
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00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:13,151
a thousand knives of fire are
stabbing you in the heart?
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I got that right now.
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Ooh, bacon!
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00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:20,575
Homer, I prepared
a special surprise just for you.
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00:03:20,658 --> 00:03:24,078
It could only be one thing.
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Psst! The best meat's
in the rump.
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Here you go.
48
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What the hell is this?
49
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,503
Nice, healthy oatmeal.
50
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Ooh, oatmeal.
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What a delightful treat.
52
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,218
There's a bug in it.
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No, there isn't.
54
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,053
Trust me.
55
00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,435
Dad, there's a bug on that.
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00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,278
Come on, come on.
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Dear.
58
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,499
Now you've done it.
59
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:20,718
I keep hearing this horrible,
irregular thumping noise.
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00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,846
It's your heart,
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00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,723
and I think
it's on its last thump.
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00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,977
I was afraid
it was my transmission.
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00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,478
Hey, where's he going?
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00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:32,480
Billy, remember
that old Plymouth
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we just couldn't fix?
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00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,151
We're going to sell him
to Mr. Nikapopolos?
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00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,112
You're a dull boy, Billy.
68
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:45,868
Look at that pig stuffing his
face with doughnuts on my time.
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00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,746
That's right. Keep eating.
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00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:50,498
Little do you know
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00:04:50,581 --> 00:04:52,709
you're drawing ever closer
to the poisoned doughnut.
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00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:57,130
There is a poisoned one,
isn't there, Smithers?
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00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:58,923
No, sir. I discussed this
with our lawyers.
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00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,049
They consider it murder.
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Damn their oily hides!
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00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,597
Bring him to me!
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00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:12,603
Relax, Simpson.
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00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,897
I just brought you in
for a friendly hello.
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00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:19,861
And good-bye!
You're fired!
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00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:21,321
But wait.
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00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,448
Perhaps I'm being too hasty.
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00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:26,701
You are highly skilled...
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00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,911
at goofing off!
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00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,372
Now, don't worry, Homer.
85
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:34,083
You're the kind of guy
I could really dig...
86
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,710
a grave for!
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00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:40,715
Your indolence is inefficacious.
88
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,133
That means you're terrible!
89
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:54,103
Mr. Burns, I think he's dead.
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00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,521
Dear.
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00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,315
Send a ham to his widow.
92
00:05:57,398 --> 00:06:00,109
Ham.
93
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:03,988
No, wait. He's alive.
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00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,699
- Good. Cancel the ham.
- D'
95
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:13,581
Wow, look at that.
96
00:06:13,664 --> 00:06:15,249
How do they know to cross there?
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00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:25,009
I'm telling you,
it's not going to work.
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00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:28,054
See?
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00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:29,972
He was taking a bite
and his jaw locked.
100
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:32,725
Hey, look, I can fit my
entire fist in here.
101
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,311
Hey! Hey! Hey!
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00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,397
What's that, Chief?
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00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,233
♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪
104
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:42,068
♪ Bad cops, bad cops ♪
105
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:46,072
Ooh, buy three tubes
of Mr. Blister, get one free.
106
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,407
Hello?
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00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,034
Yes.
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00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,953
Dear Lord!
109
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:53,663
Homer's in the hospital.
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00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,748
They think it's his heart!
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00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,251
- My God.
- What?
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00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:00,878
Five cents off wax paper.
113
00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:03,381
Clear.
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00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,219
More.
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00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,597
Thank you.
116
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,434
Homie, I was so frightened.
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00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:18,062
Marge, my whole life
flashed before my eyes.
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00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,565
Little Homer.
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How did he get that?
120
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:32,410
♪ Fall on your knees ♪
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00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:36,038
♪ Hear
the angels' voices... ♪
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What a voice.
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00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:41,419
Young Homer's going
to make me a millionaire.
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00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:46,799
♪ Night... divine... ♪
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Hey, my voice just changed.
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00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:53,431
♪ Night,
when Christ was born ♪
127
00:07:53,514 --> 00:07:55,391
Dagnab it!
128
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,519
Mr. Simpson, I'm afraid you've
just had a mild heart attack.
129
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,938
But I'm out
of the woods now, right?
130
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,858
I mean, whatever doesn't kill
me can only make me stronger.
131
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:05,860
No, quite the opposite.
132
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:07,445
It's made you weak as a kitten.
133
00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,447
Look.
134
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,282
Hey, come on, quit it.
135
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:13,159
Kootchy, kootchy-koo.
136
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,744
Stop, please stop.
137
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:17,121
You swing like a girl,
come on now.
138
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:18,205
Please, have mercy.
139
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:20,166
Got your nose.
140
00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:21,542
Not funny.
141
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,170
How about this little bee?
Bzz...
142
00:08:26,380 --> 00:08:29,133
Remember your hippopotamus oath.
143
00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,802
Can't you do something for him?
144
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,429
Well, we can't fix his heart,
145
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:37,016
but we can tell you
exactly how damaged it is.
146
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:38,935
What an age we live in.
147
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:42,980
Now what you see here is the
radioactive dye we injected
148
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:45,441
flowing through your husband's
circulatory system.
149
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,027
But, Doctor, I haven't
injected the dye yet.
150
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,947
- Good Lord.
- Hi.
151
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:54,116
So, Homer, this is a new
body fat analysis test.
152
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,535
I start you jiggling
153
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:58,246
and measure how long
it takes to stop.
154
00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:04,627
Whoo-hoo!
Look at that blubber fly.
155
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,754
Yes.
156
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:08,965
Nurse, cancel my 1:00.
157
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,050
Homer, I'm afraid you'll
have to undergo
158
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,177
a coronary bypass operation.
159
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,762
Say it in English, Doc.
160
00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:16,681
You're going to need
open-heart surgery.
161
00:09:16,764 --> 00:09:18,683
Spare me your medical
mumbo-jumbo.
162
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:22,353
We're going to cut you open
and tinker with your ticker.
163
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,397
Could you dumb it down a shade?
164
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,667
Doctor, we'll do whatever it
takes to get my Homie well.
165
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,985
Good. I must warn you, though.
166
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:33,239
This procedure will cost you
upwards of $30,000.
167
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:39,161
I'm afraid it's now 40,000.
168
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,587
Okay, okay, we need $40,000.
169
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,922
Now how much do we have
in the checkbook?
170
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,717
$70.
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00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,845
Have we deposited any $40,000
checks that haven't cleared yet?
172
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,431
No. Don't you have
health insurance at work?
173
00:09:58,514 --> 00:09:59,974
Well, actually,
we gave it all up
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00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:01,726
for a pinball machine
in the lounge.
175
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,353
- D'
-Don't worry, Marge.
176
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,231
America's health care system
is second only to Japan...
177
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,318
Canada, Sweden, Great Britain...
178
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:11,694
Well, all of Europe.
179
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:13,487
But you can thank
your lucky stars
180
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,282
we don't live in Paraguay.
181
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,560
Now before we give you
health insurance,
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00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,586
I have to ask you
a few questions.
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00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:30,504
Questions? Questions?
184
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,632
My whole scheme down the...
185
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,091
I mean, ask away.
186
00:10:34,175 --> 00:10:35,259
Good.
187
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:36,886
Now, under "heart attacks,"
188
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,096
you crossed out "3"
and wrote "0."
189
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:42,683
I thought that said
brain hemorrhages.
190
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,603
And do you drink?
191
00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:47,938
I do enjoy a snifter
of port at Christmas.
192
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:50,024
All right, here's your policy.
193
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:52,735
Now let me tell you something,
Mr. Sucker, I just...
194
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:55,488
Hold on there.
You still have to sign it.
195
00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:57,490
I...
196
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,410
Must... sign... policy.
197
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,621
Sir, I'm sorry.
We can't insure you.
198
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,956
- I made an "H."
- No, that doesn't count.
199
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,333
Looks like an "X."
200
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:10,002
We better get you to a hospital.
201
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,713
- Can I have a free calendar?
- Okay.
202
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,924
Clear.
203
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,175
Doctor,
204
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:17,843
I was in a wonderful place
205
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,929
filled with fire and brimstone.
206
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,765
And there were all these
guys in red pajamas
207
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:24,725
sticking pitchforks in my butt.
208
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,895
Mr. Simpson, you must get that
operation as soon as possible.
209
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:29,855
I can't afford it.
210
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,692
Maybe I should buy
one of those machines.
211
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,945
Yeah. That's the stuff.
212
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:38,781
Now, I know I haven't been
the best Christian.
213
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,991
In fact, when you're up there
blah-blah-blahing,
214
00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:42,368
I'm usually doodling
215
00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:44,704
or mentally undressing
the female parishioners.
216
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:48,874
Well, anywho,
can I have $40,000?
217
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,669
Now, I know I haven't been
the best Jew,
218
00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,295
but I rented Fiddler on the Roof
219
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,880
and I will watch it.
220
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,383
Anyway, can I have $40,000?
221
00:11:57,466 --> 00:12:00,010
Now, I know
I haven't been the best...
222
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,596
Aw, forget it.
223
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,223
Honey, did you have any luck?
224
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:06,642
No, but the rabbi gave me this.
225
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,893
What is it, Dad?
226
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:10,062
Son, they call it a droodle.
227
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,398
Whoo-hoo!
Look at him go.
228
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:16,026
Hi, everybody.
Are you looking for a way
229
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,612
to slash the cost
of your medical expenses?
230
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:20,489
Boring.
231
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,300
Wait, this might be the answer
we're looking for.
232
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:27,455
I will perform any operation
for $129.95.
233
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,373
Come in for brain surgery
234
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:32,251
and receive a free
Chinese finger trap.
235
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:35,254
Okay, Fred.
236
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:36,672
You tried the best.
237
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,466
Now try the rest.
238
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:41,719
Call 1-600-DOCTORB.
239
00:12:41,802 --> 00:12:43,596
The "B" is for "Bargain."
240
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,932
Marge, we could do worse.
241
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,476
How?
242
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,187
Some dog could do the operation.
243
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:53,397
Operation?
What are you talking about?
244
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,399
Kids, I have something
to tell you.
245
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:58,360
Homie, I don't know.
This might upset them.
246
00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:00,196
Nothing you say can upset us.
247
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:01,489
We're the MTV generation.
248
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,532
We feel neither highs nor lows.
249
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,659
Really? What's it like?
250
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,412
Well, you kids are old enough
to know the truth,
251
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,122
and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it.
252
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:13,626
So, the tiny aorta fairies
will take Mr. Leg Vein
253
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:16,003
on a long trip to get married
254
00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:18,130
to Princess Left Ventricle.
255
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,673
Dad, are you trying to tell us
256
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:22,134
you're getting
a coronary artery bypass graft?
257
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,302
Yeah.
258
00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:25,888
No. What if they botch it?
259
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:28,390
I won't have a dad...
260
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:29,850
for a while.
261
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:35,147
Kids, kids,
I'm not going to die.
262
00:13:35,231 --> 00:13:37,399
That only happens to bad people.
263
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,151
What about Abraham Lincoln?
264
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:42,071
He sold poisoned milk
to schoolchildren.
265
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,531
- Homer!
- Hey, I'm just trying
266
00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,032
to make it easier on 'em.
267
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,076
Bed goes up, bed goes down.
268
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,911
Bed goes up, bed goes down.
269
00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:51,121
Bed goes up, bed goes down.
270
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:52,373
Bed goes up, bed goes down.
271
00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:54,875
Homer Simpson?
272
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,670
If that don't put the "Dink"
In co-inky-dink.
273
00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:59,839
Flanders,
what are you doing here?
274
00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,174
I'm having a kidney
and a lung removed.
275
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,843
Who are you donating them to?
276
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:05,177
First come, first serve.
277
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,178
What are you in for?
278
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:07,805
I got a bad heart.
279
00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:10,307
If I could give you
my heart, Homer, I would.
280
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:11,391
Shut up, Flanders.
281
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,519
Hi, everybody!
282
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:17,189
I'm Dr. Nick Riviera.
283
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,233
Dr. Riviera,
Dr. Nick Riviera,
284
00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:20,877
please report
to the coroner immediately.
285
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:23,654
The coroner?
I'm so sick of that guy.
286
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:26,782
Well, see you
in the operating place.
287
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,659
- Dr. Riviera!
- Dr. Riviera!
288
00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:29,743
Where are the bodies?
289
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,829
Such a nice day.
290
00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,581
I think I'll go out the window.
291
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:34,790
Whoa!
292
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,382
Dear Lord, thank you
for Ziggy comics,
293
00:14:43,465 --> 00:14:45,467
little baby ducks,
294
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:49,179
and Sweatin' to the Oldies,
volumes one, two, and four.
295
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,392
Dear Lord,
296
00:14:53,475 --> 00:14:56,353
I'm really scared
about this operation tomorrow.
297
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,440
If something happens,
please look after Marge
298
00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:02,192
and make sure
my kids grow up right.
299
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:03,277
Shh!
300
00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:07,239
Sorry.
301
00:15:12,119 --> 00:15:15,331
And that's why God
causes train wrecks.
302
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:18,459
My dad is very sick.
303
00:15:18,542 --> 00:15:20,419
What's going to happen
if he dies?
304
00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:23,339
Well, if he's been good,
he'll go to heaven.
305
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:24,840
In heaven, you get to do
306
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,801
whatever you like best
all the time.
307
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:31,013
Cloud goes up, cloud goes down.
308
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,723
Cloud goes up, cloud goes down.
309
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:35,059
Bed goes up, bed goes down.
310
00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:36,602
Hey! Hey!
311
00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:40,731
Hey, what's the matter?
312
00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:42,316
That's right.
313
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:44,276
My grotesque appearance.
314
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:47,279
Krusty, why are you here?
315
00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,740
It's part of my public service
316
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:53,369
for my glug-glug,
vroom-vroom, thump-thump.
317
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,704
Well, I could use a good laugh.
318
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,999
Well, there's nothing funny about
what you're about to go through.
319
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:02,628
I know.
I'm in the zipper club myself.
320
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:07,883
- You seem okay.
- Yeah?
321
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,136
Well, I got news for you.
This ain't makeup.
322
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,764
They say the greatest tragedy
323
00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:16,809
is when a father outlives
his son.
324
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:19,895
I've never fully understood
why that is.
325
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:23,565
Frankly, I can see
an upside to it.
326
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,110
We passed this card
around at work.
327
00:16:26,193 --> 00:16:27,903
Gee, thanks, guys.
328
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,571
They had a hell of a time
replacing you.
329
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,119
When I first heard
about the operation,
330
00:16:35,202 --> 00:16:37,079
I was against it.
331
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,664
But then I thought
332
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:41,875
"If Homer wants to be a woman,
so be it."
333
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:44,211
Barney, I'm not getting
a sex change.
334
00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:45,879
What?!
335
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:48,215
What the hell
am I supposed to do
336
00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:50,050
with this jumbo thong bikini?
337
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:53,387
Homer, I snuck you in a beer
for old times' sake.
338
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,848
Thanks, Moe.
339
00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:59,143
You know, Homer,
that beer ain't free.
340
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:02,980
Mom, this is fascinating.
341
00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:06,358
Did you know that they'll stop
Dad's heart for six whole minutes?
342
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,861
I don't know
if I like you reading
343
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,487
all those cardiology books.
344
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,322
No, Mom, it's very reassuring,
345
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,366
and I 've learned a great deal
346
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,619
from this cow's heart I got
at the butcher shop.
347
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,206
Insert the retractor
348
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,375
and crank it
until the ribs swing open
349
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,127
like a rusty drawbridge.
350
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,336
No!
351
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:27,963
Blood!
352
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,674
Next, make an incision
in the coronary art...
353
00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:34,928
And we are back with more of
People Who Look Like Things.
354
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:43,937
No! No!
355
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,648
Someone taped over
the end of this.
356
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:50,152
All we ask is to be treated
with dignity and respect.
357
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:52,071
And a new candle now and then?
358
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,197
Yes, and a new... No!
359
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:57,659
My little Maggie.
360
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,870
I may never hold you again.
361
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:02,289
Eww! Stinky pants.
362
00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:04,625
Now, Marge, if the unthinkable
363
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:06,418
should happen,
you're going to be lonely.
364
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,670
Homie, I could never re-marry.
365
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:09,671
Darn right.
366
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,131
And to make sure
367
00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,815
I want to be stuffed
and put on the couch
368
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:15,761
as a constant reminder
of our marital vows.
369
00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:19,098
Kids, you can come in now.
370
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,184
Bed goes up.
371
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,394
Kids, I wanna give you some
words to remember me by
372
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,063
in case something happens.
373
00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:27,146
Let's see.
374
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,152
I'm no good at this.
375
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:36,657
Bart, the saddest thing
about this is
376
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:40,035
I won't get to see
you grow up because...
377
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,246
I know you're going
to turn out great
378
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:44,623
with or without your old man.
379
00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:45,874
Thanks, Dad.
380
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,167
And, Lisa...
381
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:54,299
I guess this is
the time to tell you...
382
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,260
you're adopted,
and I don't like you.
383
00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:58,971
Bart!
384
00:18:59,054 --> 00:19:00,406
But don't worry,
because you've got
385
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:02,015
a big brother who loves you
386
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,201
and will always
look out for you.
387
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:05,269
Dad.
388
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:11,150
Hi, everybody.
389
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,526
Hi, Dr. Nick!
390
00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:16,405
Now, if something
should go wrong,
391
00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,824
let's not get the law involved.
392
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:21,410
One hand washes the other.
393
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,120
Ooh, that reminds me.
394
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:29,668
These gloves came free
with my toilet brush.
395
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,341
What the hell is that?
396
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:43,473
Marge, this is Andre.
397
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:44,933
Hello.
398
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:47,895
I think you two would make
a lovely couple.
399
00:19:47,978 --> 00:19:50,355
My husband is still alive.
400
00:19:50,439 --> 00:19:51,940
Thank God.
401
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,275
I hope he pulls through.
402
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:55,444
Not me.
403
00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:58,363
Let's have a minute
of silent prayer
404
00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,699
for our good friend,
Homer Simpson.
405
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:07,998
How long has it been?
406
00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:09,082
Six seconds.
407
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,667
Do we have to start over?
408
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:11,877
Hell, no.
409
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,670
Poor Mr. Homer.
410
00:20:13,754 --> 00:20:16,548
Could it be that my snack treats
are responsible
411
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:17,633
for his wretched health?
412
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,092
Give me some jerky.
413
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,320
Would you like
some vodka with that?
414
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,386
What the hell.
Sure.
415
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,852
Doctor, what's wrong?
416
00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:31,813
Don't you know
where to make the incision?
417
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:33,690
All right, Nick, don't panic.
418
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,859
Think back to med school.
419
00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:39,446
Seriously, baby.
420
00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:40,989
I can prescribe anything I want.
421
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,869
I know I'm supposed
to cut something,
422
00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:47,537
but what and where?
423
00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:50,249
Hey!
424
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:54,920
The incision in the coronary artery
must be made below the blockage!
425
00:20:55,003 --> 00:20:56,421
Below!
426
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,757
Thanks, little girl.
427
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,884
♪ The knee bone's connected ♪
428
00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:03,345
♪ To the something ♪
429
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:06,598
♪ The something's connected
to the red thing ♪
430
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:09,434
♪ The red thing's connected
to my wristwatch... ♪
431
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:19,903
Good news. The operation was
a complete success.
432
00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:25,033
That's wonderful!
433
00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:30,706
Dr. Nick Riviera,
remember me?
434
00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:34,710
Well, if it isn't my old friend
Mr. McCraig,
435
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:37,754
with a leg for an arm
and an arm for a leg.
436
00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:43,885
All right, Dad!
437
00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:45,887
You rule intensive care!
438
00:22:01,403 --> 00:22:03,613
♪♪
439
00:22:46,948 --> 00:22:48,283
Shh!
440
00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:54,623
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