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1
00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,922
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,482
D'
3
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,734
Aah!
4
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,250
Hey, Homer, let's book!
5
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,836
I want to get there in time
to whip eggs at the warm-up act.
6
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:30,840
Wow, my concert-going jacket
still fits.
7
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:33,676
And this is where
I used to hide my beer.
8
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,054
Billy beer!
9
00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:42,477
My little guy's
first rock concert.
10
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,021
I hope The Spinal Taps
don't play too loud.
11
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,440
Marge, I went to thousands
of heavy metal concerts
12
00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:49,275
and it never hurt me.
13
00:01:57,992 --> 00:02:00,787
I hear you.
Come on, boy.
14
00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:01,996
There goes Davy Crockett
15
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,498
in his bald-skin cap.
16
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,170
In other Spinal Tap news
17
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,564
Mayor Quimby honored
the aging super group
18
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,757
in a ceremony at City Hall.
19
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,360
I guess you could
say he was trying to "Tap" into the
20
00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:16,094
"spines" of the young voters?
21
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:19,097
Yeah. Let's play the tape.
22
00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:25,311
Hey, Milhouse, cool jacket.
23
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:28,398
It cost me 50,000
Bazooka Joe comics.
24
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,378
Now just meet me back here
after the show.
25
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:33,486
Thanks, Dad.
26
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,029
Sure you're not gonna be bored?
27
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,740
Boy, some of the best times
I've ever had
28
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,742
were in the back seat of a car.
29
00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:46,583
Baby.
30
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,593
Official tour '92 T-shirts, $31.
31
00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:58,261
Check it out...
32
00:02:58,344 --> 00:02:59,613
Spinal Tap kicking
Moammar Gadhafy
33
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:00,722
in the butt.
34
00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:03,099
The timeless classic,
now 2 for $1.
35
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,726
Hey, hey, hey,
Bill and Marty here.
36
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:07,270
And we're backstage rapping
with the Tap.
37
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,498
Fellas, I'm gonna hit you with
a phrase that has dogged you
38
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:10,899
throughout your career...
39
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,609
"Washed up."
40
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:16,029
Yet here you are, among the top
105 concert acts today.
41
00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:17,405
What's your secret, guys?
42
00:03:17,488 --> 00:03:19,782
Well, after
the Berlin Wall fell,
43
00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:21,284
our records started selling
44
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,077
on the dismal side
of the Iron Curtain,
45
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,163
and naturally that gave
us a boost.
46
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:26,765
We're very big in Bulgaria,
and what's-his-name?
47
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:27,789
The other Garia.
48
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,292
- Hungaria?
- Yeah, whatever.
49
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,544
I can't think of anyone
who's benefitted
50
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,796
more from the death
of Communism than us.
51
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,858
Maybe the people who actually
live in the communist countries.
52
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:39,093
Yeah, I hadn't thought of that.
I bet you're right.
53
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:42,138
On the other hand, each of us just
bought our own soccer team.
54
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,057
How many Hungarios can say that?
55
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,683
Test... test...
56
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,605
Gee, I'm sorry, man.
57
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:53,233
About the Frisbee.
58
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,776
Frisbee?
59
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:56,194
Say, guys,
I wonder if you'd mind
60
00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:57,820
recording a couple
of promos for us?
61
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,030
Like what?
62
00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:00,657
Maybe you could say
63
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:03,201
"Nobody rocks like
Bill and Marty on KBBL."
64
00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:04,827
We don't know that, do we?
65
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,263
What if somebody rocks
as good as you?
66
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:07,622
Or better. I mean...
67
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:09,249
We don't want to look stupid.
68
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:10,917
Okay, we can respect that.
69
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,877
How about, "Rock-a-doodle-doo!
70
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,271
You're listening
to Bill and Marty"?
71
00:04:14,295 --> 00:04:16,047
- Yeah, sure.
- That's good, yeah.
72
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:18,841
Tap! Tap! Tap!
73
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:20,819
I just looked out there,
and there's puddles of water
74
00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:22,428
all over the freakin' stage.
75
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:25,056
Well, I don't want
to lie to you boys.
76
00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:26,933
Six days a week the place
is a hockey rink.
77
00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:28,977
Well, this is a rock concert
78
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,771
not the bleedin'...
splish-splash show.
79
00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:33,064
Ladies and gentlemen,
80
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,066
boys and girls...
81
00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:37,610
Duff beer, in association
with Laramie cigarettes,
82
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:41,906
is proud to welcome Spinal Tap!
83
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:48,037
♪ We are the children
who grew too fast ♪
84
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:57,880
♪ We are the dust
of a future past ♪
85
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:06,514
♪ We raise our voices
in the night ♪
86
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:09,892
♪ Crying to heaven ♪
87
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:15,315
♪ And will our voices
be heard ♪
88
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:18,234
♪ Or will they break
like the wind? ♪
89
00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:23,197
Medium setting.
90
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,178
Thank you!
91
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,518
All right!
92
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:55,438
This morning
we were driving down...
93
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,648
Route 401...
94
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,402
That's only four miles
from my house!
95
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:04,405
And we thought they knew
how to rock in Shelbyville.
96
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,742
But nobody rocks like...
97
00:06:07,825 --> 00:06:09,911
Springfield!
98
00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:28,346
Well, it seems some silly twit
99
00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:30,807
did not get a
big enough oxygen pump,
100
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,892
but that's supposed
to be a devil.
101
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:35,812
Filled up with air,
it's very evil and impressive.
102
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:40,358
We salute you,
our half-inflated dark lord!
103
00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:42,402
- Oy!
- Oy!
104
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:43,569
Oy!
105
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:53,996
You know, people think there are
only five members of Spinal Tap,
106
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,290
but they are wrong.
107
00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:00,920
Could we turn up
the house lights, please?
108
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:02,481
That was the cue to turn up
the house lights
109
00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,048
so we can tell the audience
110
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,217
they're the sixth member
of the freakin' group!
111
00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,010
We are trying
to put a tiny thrill
112
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,887
into their gray little lives.
113
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:11,013
Forget it.
114
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:13,349
Turn on the lasers.
115
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,853
Aah! My vision.
116
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,771
That's it.
Show's over.
117
00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,189
Good night, Springden.
118
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,108
There will be no encores.
119
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:28,823
They were only on
for 20 minutes.
120
00:07:28,906 --> 00:07:30,783
What a gyp.
121
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,827
Gnarly show, man.
122
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:34,287
Want to trash the stage?
123
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:36,747
Okay.
124
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,541
Aah!
125
00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:41,002
♪ There was
a little Spanish flea ♪
126
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:43,838
♪ A record star
he thought he'd be ♪
127
00:07:43,921 --> 00:07:45,840
♪ He heard of singers
like Beatles ♪
128
00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:48,676
♪ the Chipmunks
he'd seen on TV... ♪
129
00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,845
♪ Why not
a little Spanish flea? ♪
130
00:07:50,928 --> 00:07:52,221
♪ And so he... ♪
131
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,225
Tonight, a city weeps.
132
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,186
As for the first time ever,
133
00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,813
a hockey arena becomes
a scene of violence,
134
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,191
following a concert
by Spinal Tap.
135
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:05,860
I hope my poor
little baby's okay.
136
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:07,236
See for yourself.
137
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,031
Unh!
138
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,367
Of course it would be
wrong to suggest
139
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,411
that this sort of mayhem
began with rock and roll.
140
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,205
After all, there were riots
141
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,457
at the premiere of Mozart's
The Magic Flute.
142
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,792
So, what's the answer...
Ban all music?
143
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:25,338
In this reporter's opinion,
the answer, sadly is yes.
144
00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:26,464
Hi, Mom.
145
00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:29,592
Thank God.
146
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,886
Mom, I want to be a rock star.
147
00:08:31,969 --> 00:08:33,888
We'll discuss it later.
148
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:36,599
Is Milhouse okay?
149
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,935
I'll be right back.
150
00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:45,316
Help! Help!
151
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:55,701
Homer, I've been thinking
about what Bart said.
152
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:58,037
If he's really interested
in being a musician
153
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,914
maybe we should
buy him a guitar.
154
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,958
That's a waste of money.
We already have a guitar.
155
00:09:05,419 --> 00:09:07,255
I meant a real guitar.
156
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:08,506
This is real.
157
00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:12,760
Wow!
158
00:09:12,843 --> 00:09:15,638
And it came with
a free instruction book.
159
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,390
Now boy, we spent a lot of money
160
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:20,142
so you'd better get real good,
real fast, or pow!
161
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,727
Homer!
162
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:24,146
Hey, I thought I was
supposed to encourage him?
163
00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:28,168
I'd like to play me latest chart topper.
164
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:29,402
It's called
165
00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:31,946
"Me Fans Are Stupid Pigs."
166
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:38,536
Bart, you've got to go on.
167
00:09:38,619 --> 00:09:39,662
Slag off.
168
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,372
You've changed, man.
169
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:43,791
You used to be about the music.
170
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:46,919
I said slag off!
171
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,173
Cool!
172
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,639
- Knock it off.
- I'm sorry.
173
00:10:04,228 --> 00:10:06,147
Knock it off!
174
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:08,524
I's just jammin' with ya.
175
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:14,363
Hey, Simpson what are
you trying to play?
176
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,032
"Polly-Wolly Doodle."
177
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:19,368
Yeah? Well, it sounds
Polly-Wolly crappy.
178
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,703
Ha-ha!
179
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:21,786
Burn.
180
00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:25,082
Hey, cherry ax, Bart dude.
181
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,876
I think it's broken.
182
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,753
Really? Give it here.
183
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:44,852
I didn't know you played
the guitar, Otto man.
184
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:47,229
Hey, that's all I did
in high school.
185
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,607
My old man said
I was wasting my time
186
00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,150
and I'd never amount
to anything.
187
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:55,529
I...
188
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:58,491
Now I'd like to slow
things down a little bit.
189
00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:02,787
♪ If I leave here tomorrow ♪
190
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:06,916
♪ Would you still
remember me? ♪
191
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:11,087
♪ ...and this bird
cannot change ♪
192
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,588
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa... ♪
193
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,465
Although I'm sure
194
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:16,634
I will receive a severe wedgie
from my bus mates,
195
00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:18,177
I must remind you
196
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:21,055
we should have been at school
ten minutes ago...
197
00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:24,183
Better fasten
your seat belts, little dudes.
198
00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:25,601
We don't have seat belts.
199
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,937
Well, then just try to go limp.
200
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:31,941
Better take a shortcut.
201
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:38,948
Good show last night.
202
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:40,866
Yeah, quite good.
203
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:54,380
Good Lord! Did anyone
get the license number?
204
00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:56,382
- Gee, I forgot.
- I don't think so.
205
00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:07,184
- Yay!
- Whee!
206
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:09,520
It's a miracle no one was hurt.
207
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,188
I stand on my record...
208
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:14,024
15 crashes and not
a single fatality.
209
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:16,026
Let's see your license, pal.
210
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:18,487
No can do.
Never got one.
211
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,051
But, if you need proof
of my identity,
212
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,907
I wrote my name on my underwear.
213
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,160
Wait... these aren't mine.
214
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,661
Well that tears it.
215
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,122
Until you get a license
and wear your own underwear,
216
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:30,124
mister, you are
suspended without pay.
217
00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:31,584
Who's gonna drive the bus?
218
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,878
I drove an all-terrain
vehicle in Da Nang.
219
00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:35,838
I think I can handle it.
220
00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:39,008
Where's Otto?
221
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,926
Otto?
222
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,170
That's one palindrome you
won't be hearing for a while.
223
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,557
Off we go.
224
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,935
♪ Hail to the bus driver,
bus driver, bus driver ♪
225
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:53,397
♪ Hail to the bus driver,
bus driver man ♪
226
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,441
♪ He drinks and he cusses ♪
227
00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:57,943
♪ He stinks up the buses ♪
228
00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,363
♪ Hail to the bus driver,
bus driver man ♪
229
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:05,743
There's an opening.
230
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:07,119
Too late.
231
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,497
Nope, nope...
232
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,290
That would be
cutting it a little close.
233
00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:13,501
I think you have to be
more aggressive, sir.
234
00:13:13,584 --> 00:13:15,211
Nonsense.
235
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:18,672
One of our good citizens
will slow down and wave me in.
236
00:13:21,258 --> 00:13:22,676
Nope...
237
00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:29,934
What's so funny?
238
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:31,769
I was just thinking
about the time
239
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:34,063
Homer caught his nose
in the toaster.
240
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,106
We'll watch the tape tonight.
241
00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:37,775
Look, you got someone
at your window.
242
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:39,318
My name's Patty.
243
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,111
I'll be testing you.
244
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,614
When you do good,
I use the green pen.
245
00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:46,200
When you do bad,
I use the red pen.
246
00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:47,701
Any questions?
247
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:50,329
Yeah, one: have you
always been a chick?
248
00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:52,331
I don't want to offend you,
249
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,333
but you were born a man,
weren't you?
250
00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:56,335
You can tell me.
I'm open-minded.
251
00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:58,546
I won't be needing this.
252
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:09,765
All right! Yeah!
253
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,225
So, how did I do?
254
00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:13,394
Well, you failed every segment
255
00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:15,855
and misspelled "bus"
on your application.
256
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:18,148
Drag.
257
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:20,276
Let me in.
Let me in!
258
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:22,611
♪ He steps on the clutch ♪
259
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,030
♪ And the toilet goes flush.
Hail to the... ♪
260
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,574
Shut up!
261
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,502
Hey, landlord,
some clown changed my locks
262
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:41,255
padlocked the door,
and put up an eviction notice.
263
00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:43,299
Yeah. That was me.
264
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,382
You?
265
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,801
Well, why?
266
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,928
Because you haven't paid
your rent.
267
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:49,805
Can I at least get my stuff?
268
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,099
All I found in there
was a jar of mustard
269
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:54,727
and a couple
of old Cycle magazines.
270
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:57,146
Wow! I had mustard?
271
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:58,731
Rough day, Apu.
272
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:01,317
Pump me a Squishee
and don't spare the syrup.
273
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,862
Perhaps you'd like to try an experimental
flavor of my own concoction...
274
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:07,406
A delicious chutney Squishee.
275
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:08,489
Okay.
276
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:14,038
You can really taste
the chutney.
277
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:20,461
Otto man?
278
00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:22,296
You're living in a dumpster?
279
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,173
Man, I wish.
280
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:27,426
Dumpster brand trash bins
are top-of-the-line.
281
00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:30,471
This is just a Trash-co
waste disposal unit.
282
00:15:30,554 --> 00:15:32,056
Otto, why don't you
come home with me?
283
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:33,724
You can stay in our garage.
284
00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:35,392
A garage!
285
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,645
Somebody up there likes me.
286
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,244
♪ I feel like rockin',
so I think I will ♪
287
00:15:57,581 --> 00:16:01,168
♪ I'll rock it, rock it, rock it
till I get my fill, yeah ♪
288
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,379
Whoo!
289
00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:08,509
Hey.
290
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:10,386
Bart, what's going on?
291
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,304
Mom, I thought you might forget
292
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,306
our little conversation
this afternoon,
293
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,850
so I took the precaution
of recording it.
294
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,894
What conversation?
295
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,647
Mom, can Otto live in our
garage for as long as he wants?
296
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,107
He sure can.
297
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,025
Marge, what were you thinking?
298
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,485
That's not my voice.
299
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:28,028
Everybody says that
300
00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:30,322
when they hear
themselves on tape.
301
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:33,033
I don't understand this.
302
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:35,077
Why can't you stay
with your parents?
303
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,121
The admiral and I
don't get along.
304
00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:40,332
Please, let me stay here.
I've got nowhere else to go.
305
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,710
Forget it... that line
didn't work for my Dad
306
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,420
and it's not gonna work for you.
307
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,380
Dad, Otto's going through
a real tough time.
308
00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:49,091
Can't he stay with us
for a while?
309
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,485
I know we didn't ask
for this, Homer,
310
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:51,969
but doesn't the Bible say
311
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:54,388
"whatsoever you do
to the least of my brothers
312
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:56,390
that you do unto me"?
313
00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:58,392
Yes, but doesn't
the Bible also say
314
00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:01,770
"Thou shalt not take...
moochers into thy... hut"?
315
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,272
Please, Dad?
316
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:04,648
If you let Otto stay,
317
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:06,108
he'll help around the house
318
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,985
and chip in a few bucks
whenever he can.
319
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:09,403
All right, he can stay.
320
00:17:09,486 --> 00:17:12,448
But I get to treat him
like garbage.
321
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,324
Wow, what's the catch?
322
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:16,535
The can of corn costs... 57¢!
323
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,706
I could sure go
for a can of corn.
324
00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:23,333
Otto you can't just sit
there watching TV all day.
325
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:24,417
You know, you're right.
326
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,545
I should do a little reading.
327
00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:29,548
You got any of those
"Where's Waldo" books?
328
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:31,884
- No.
- How about anything written
329
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:33,677
- from the vampire's point of view?
- No.
330
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,512
How about anything where guys
331
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,073
send in naked pictures
of their chicks?
332
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:38,932
Otto, I think you
should get a job.
333
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:40,601
Look, the only thing
I was ever good at
334
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:42,311
was driving a bus
335
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:45,022
and now "the man" says
I need a piece of paper to do that.
336
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,899
So get that piece of paper.
337
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,150
I tried!
338
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,903
Lord, how I did try.
339
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,491
Will you knock it off!
340
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:57,284
I can't hear myself think.
341
00:17:58,869 --> 00:17:59,787
I want some peanuts.
342
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,371
That's better.
343
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:04,083
Hey, how come you never play
your guitar anymore?
344
00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:05,793
I'll tell you
the truth. Dad.
345
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,753
I wasn't good at it
right away, so I quit.
346
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,671
I hope you're not mad.
347
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,673
Son, come here.
348
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,427
Of course I'm not mad.
349
00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:18,597
If something's hard to do,
then it's not worth doing.
350
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,433
You just stick that guitar
in the closet
351
00:18:21,517 --> 00:18:23,602
next to your shortwave radio
352
00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,813
your karate outfit,
and your unicycle
353
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:27,940
and we'll go inside
and watch TV.
354
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:31,151
- What's on?
- It doesn't matter.
355
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:33,445
Open up! Open up!
356
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,364
I got to go, and no fooling.
357
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:36,698
Hey, pop-n-fresh!
358
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,450
You're supposed to giggle.
359
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:48,085
That guy has got to go.
360
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:50,921
I know how you feel.
361
00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:52,881
But he is good with the kids.
362
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:58,095
So the lady drove faster,
but the strange car
363
00:18:58,178 --> 00:18:59,763
kept banging into her
from behind.
364
00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:03,350
So, finally,
she swerved off the road
365
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:04,560
into the woods
366
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,270
and lost the other car
367
00:19:06,353 --> 00:19:08,188
and that's when she realized
368
00:19:08,272 --> 00:19:11,024
the man in the other car
wasn't trying to hurt her.
369
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,777
No... he was trying
to warn her...
370
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:17,614
about the ax-wielding maniac
hiding in her back seat!
371
00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:20,117
Did the maniac kill her?
372
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,910
Natch. You know how I know?
373
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:22,995
How?
374
00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:24,830
Because...
375
00:19:24,913 --> 00:19:27,040
I was that maniac.
376
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:31,587
Hey, I was just kidding.
377
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,463
That's it.
He's out of here.
378
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:35,591
But Homer, we're the only
family he's got.
379
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,259
I don't care.
380
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,428
This is not Happy Days,
and he is not The Fonz.
381
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:40,971
Hey-y-y, Mr. S.
382
00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:43,932
Listen, you drain-clogging,
last-cookie-eating,
383
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,851
collect-call-getting sponge.
384
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,936
I want you out of my house.
385
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,480
- Heavy.
- What are you gonna do, Otto?
386
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:52,065
Don't worry.
387
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,609
There's plenty
of money out there
388
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:56,403
for a guy who knows
how to fake his own death.
389
00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:58,030
Well, before you do that,
390
00:19:58,113 --> 00:20:00,699
maybe you should take
the driving test again.
391
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:02,701
I can't pass that thing.
392
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:04,536
I got a zero last time.
393
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,746
This time I'm hungover.
394
00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:06,997
You can do it, Otto.
395
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,291
You're the coolest adult
I ever met.
396
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:13,003
Wow. I've never been called
an adult before.
397
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:15,797
I've been tried as one, but...
398
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,257
I'll do it.
399
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:22,262
"Alcohol increases
your ability to drive."
400
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,388
False?!
401
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:24,472
Man!
402
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,894
I don't know about this,
Bart dude.
403
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,437
Your Dad is right.
404
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,520
I am a bum.
405
00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:32,648
He didn't call you a bum.
406
00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:33,899
He called you a sponge.
407
00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:35,817
Sponge?
408
00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:40,322
Does this look like something
a sponge would do?!
409
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:44,076
I'll show him who's a sponge.
410
00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:47,579
Well, if it isn't
Wee Willy Washout.
411
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,331
I want to take the test again.
412
00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:50,414
Why?
413
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:51,750
So I can staple my license
414
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:53,961
to Homer Simpson's
big bald head!
415
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:57,464
Really? Well, here's
your written test.
416
00:20:57,547 --> 00:20:58,924
I'll get you started.
417
00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:01,176
"B," "C," "D,"
"A," "B..."
418
00:21:03,136 --> 00:21:06,515
Homer had a piece of food
on his face for three days.
419
00:21:08,892 --> 00:21:10,644
It wasn't little either.
420
00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:11,727
It was a chicken wing.
421
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:13,981
Wing!
422
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:15,524
Ooh, what was that?
423
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,367
It doesn't matter.
Let's get some margaritas.
424
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:18,568
I'm buying.
425
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:25,409
Otto!
426
00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:27,119
That's what
my driver's license says.
427
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:34,751
♪ Hail to the bus driver,
bus driver, bus driver... ♪
428
00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:37,713
Yes, hail to the bus driver,
429
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:40,132
bus driver man.
430
00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:48,056
♪♪
431
00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:49,659
Shh!
432
00:22:52,871 --> 00:22:56,083
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