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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'
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Aah!
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Hey everybody,
Bret Gunselman here
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on pivotal week eight
of the N.F.L. season.
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Now stay tuned for six hours
of exciting football action.
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Well, bye-bye belt.
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Homer, all those fatty
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deep-fried,
heavily-salted snacks
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can't be good for your heart.
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My heart is just fine.
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A little beer
will put out that fire.
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And now with the specs
for today's games
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The man who's right
52% of the time, Smooth Jimmy Apollo.
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Thank you Bret, our first game today,
Denver and New England
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is too close to call.
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But if you're
one of those compulsive types
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who just has to bet...
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well, I don't know.
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Denver!
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Woo-whoo!
Denver! Yeah!
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Moe's Tavern
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where the peanut bowl
is freshened hourly.
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Moe, I'd like to bet $20
on Denver.
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I think I can provide
that service.
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Chief Wiggum, could you hand me
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that little black book?
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Sure thing, Moe.
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I was just using it
as a coaster.
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20 big ones on Denver.
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Pleasure doing
business with you.
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H.S.
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All right, Denver,
justify my love.
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At the end of 13 seconds of play
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it's New England seven,
Denver nothing.
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D'
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Look, Dad.
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I made a model studio apartment
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for my Malibu Stacy doll.
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This is a kitchen.
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This is where she prints
her weekly feminist newsletter.
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Dad, you're not listening to me!
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Lousy, stupid Denver.
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Look at that, a shoe box house.
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Lisa, you're so clever.
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Why isn't Dad ever interested
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in anything I do?
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Well... do you ever take an
interest in anything he does?
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No. Well, we used
to have burping contests
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but I outgrew it.
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If you want to get closer to him
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maybe you should bridge the gap.
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I do it all the time.
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I pretend I'm interested in
looking at power tools
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going to those silly
car-chase movies
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and... some things I'll tell
you about when you're older.
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Do you understand?
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I think so.
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- Bart!
- What?
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Look at that.
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Why did you do that?
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Wouldn't it be fun if we
watched the game together?
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Okay.
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Just don't say anything,
and sit down over there.
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Over.
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Over.
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Over.
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Over.
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Lisa, please,
I can't hear the announcer.
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He said Denver just fumbled.
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D'
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See you in hell, soldier boy.
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Bart?
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Yeah, Mom.
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I was thinking that while
your father and Lisa watch the game,
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it might be fun if the two of us
went clothes shopping.
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Mom, I'd love to, but to be honest,
I don't need new clothes.
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Really?
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So even though I'd love to spend
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00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:49,562
this sunny afternoon
trying on clothes, it's not...
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Folks, when you're right
52% of the time
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you're wrong 48% of the time.
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Why didn't you say that before?
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Okay, Jimmy,
you're off the hook.
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We've got Miami-Cincinnati
coming up. Any thoughts?
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I certainly do, Bret.
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I hereby declare Miami
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to be Smooth Jimmy's
'Lock of the Week.'
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Ooh, that's a big lock, alright.
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00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:11,918
But I just don't trust that guy.
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In the Cincinnati-Miami game
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I declare Cincinnati to be
my "Shoe-in of the Week."
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They both make a good case.
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After evaluating
millions of pieces of data
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in the blink of an eye,
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the Gambletron 2000 says
the winner is... Cincinnati
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by 200 points?
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00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:34,023
Why, you worthless hunk of junk!
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You want some of this,
don't you?
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Yeah!
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Well, you need to
know the winners,
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and I know the winners.
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So call me now.
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$5 for the first minute,
$2 for each additional minute.
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You... have reached...
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00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:50,623
the coach's...
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00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:51,624
hot...
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00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:52,625
Line.
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00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:53,626
Line.
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Lay it on me, coach.
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In the game of...
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Mi-am-i
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Versus Cin...
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00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:01,509
Cincinnati.
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00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:02,885
- Cin...
- Cincinnati.
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00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:04,929
- Na... ti.
- Cincinnati.
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00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:06,824
C'mon, c'mon! Don't you realize
this is costing me money?
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00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:09,809
We must consider...
many things.
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The wind...
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D'not the wind!
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Is blowing out of the...
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west...
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at five...
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Miles per hour.
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- Knots.
- D'
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This is ridiculous!
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What am I supposed to do?
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00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,049
Lisa, who do you think's
gonna win?
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00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,241
The Bengals or the Dolphins?
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00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:28,036
I don't know.
The Dolphins?
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00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,287
Good, good.
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00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:31,456
Moe, $50 on the Miami Dolphins.
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00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:33,291
Gotcha. 50 beans on Miami.
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00:05:33,374 --> 00:05:35,752
Homer, I got a call
on the other line. Hello?
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00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:37,420
Moe, it's me, Mr. K.
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00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:39,756
Yeah, yeah, what will it be?
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00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,632
Put me down for $700
on the Rams.
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00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,136
And put Sideshow Mel down
for two grand.
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00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:46,888
Mom, I'm tired.
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00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:48,723
I want to go home.
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00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:50,767
Can't I just lie down
for a minute?
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Bart, I think
you'd look very sharp
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in this shirt.
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Fine. Get it. Let's go.
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No, no, no.
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You have to try it on.
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00:05:58,399 --> 00:06:01,152
Ooh, and this one's 50% off.
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00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,154
You know why these
clothes are on sale, Mom?
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00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:05,323
Because the people
who wear them get beaten up.
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00:06:05,406 --> 00:06:08,951
Well, anyone who would beat you up
for wearing a shirt isn't your friend.
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00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:10,203
Ooh, this looks good,
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00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:12,372
and this one is very, very cute
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00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,165
and these...
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Look, little bow ties!
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00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:19,462
And don't make that face at me.
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How did you know?
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00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,590
Touchdown, Dolphins!
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00:06:22,673 --> 00:06:24,133
All right, Dolphins!
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00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,259
All right, Dolphins!
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00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,303
- Woo-hoo!
- Woo-hoo!
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50 big ones!
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00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:30,139
50 big ones?
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00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:33,239
You see, Lisa,
Daddy's friend Moe promised
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00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:35,895
to give him $50
if the Dolphins won the game.
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You mean you made a bet?
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00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,232
I wouldn't call it a bet.
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00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,067
It's a little thing Daddies do
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to make football more exciting.
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00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:43,986
What could be more exciting
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00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,864
than the savage ballet
that is pro football?
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Well, you know.
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You like ice cream, don't you?
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Don't you like ice cream better
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when it's covered with hot fudge
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00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:57,834
and mounds of whipped cream,
chopped nuts
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00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,795
and those crumbled-up
cookie things they mash up?
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00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,006
Crumbled-up cookie things.
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00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:06,759
So gambling makes a
good thing even better?
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That's right!
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00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,221
My God...
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00:07:10,304 --> 00:07:12,144
it's like there's
some kind of bond between us.
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00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,366
We've got a troublemaker
in booth eight.
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00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,202
Forget him.
There's a code red in booth three.
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00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,579
My God!
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00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:36,222
Those aren't the socks
she came in with.
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00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:38,332
Um-um... Let's move.
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00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,464
- Bart?
- In here Mom, but Don't open the...
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00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:50,052
Bart, you could use
some new underwear too.
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Look at that stupid kid!
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00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:54,097
- Three!
- Three!
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00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,057
- Two!
- Two!
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00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,684
- One!
- One!
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00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:59,061
And the final
from Riverfront Stadium:
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00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,522
Miami 24, Cincinnati 10.
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00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:03,024
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
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00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:05,902
Boy! Mom sure will
be happy you won $50.
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00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:07,570
You'd think that, wouldn't you?
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00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:10,615
But you see, Lisa,
your mother has this crazy idea
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00:08:10,698 --> 00:08:12,116
that gambling is wrong
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00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,118
even though they
say it's okay in the Bible.
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00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,536
Really? Where?
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00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,663
Somewhere in the back.
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00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,833
The point is,
we had a great time today.
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00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,627
And to keep it that way
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00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:25,671
let's not tell your mother
about our little wager, okay?
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00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:26,797
Okay, Dad.
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00:08:26,881 --> 00:08:28,299
Did you two have fun?
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00:08:28,382 --> 00:08:29,842
You bet.
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00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:32,428
Well, we had fun too.
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00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,472
Right now,
Bart is modeling his new clothes
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00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:35,681
for his friends.
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00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:37,725
Ooh...
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00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:40,561
You got to come out
sometime, Simpson.
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00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:46,859
Goodnight, Dad.
I had a really nice time today.
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00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,778
Me too, honey.
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00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:49,963
Can I watch football with you
217
00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:51,322
again next Sunday?
218
00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:52,740
Sure. You'll find
it gets rid
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00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:55,159
of the unpleasant aftertaste
of church.
220
00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:56,577
See how good things can happen
221
00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,246
if you make a little effort?
222
00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,664
Point well taken.
223
00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:02,833
Mom... could you loosen
my blanket a little?
224
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,728
Dad tucked me in too tight,
and it's cutting off
225
00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:07,171
the circulation
in my arms and legs.
226
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,298
This team is fired up.
We came here to play.
227
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,092
- Alright!
- He'll lose.
228
00:09:11,175 --> 00:09:13,010
What? Didn't you hear
what he said?
229
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:14,470
Look at the fear in his eyes.
230
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,264
Listen to the quiver
in his voice.
231
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:19,058
He's a little boy
lost in a game of men.
232
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:20,577
Do you think we should
bet against them?
233
00:09:20,601 --> 00:09:22,353
I'd bet my entire
college fund on it.
234
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:23,354
You got it.
235
00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:27,149
Moe, $23 on New York.
236
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,985
Start spreading the news.
237
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:31,988
It's New York over
Philadelphia, 35 to 10.
238
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:35,908
- Yay!
- Yay!
239
00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,493
Dad, I hate to break the mood
240
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,619
but I'm getting nauseous.
241
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,913
Sorry.
242
00:09:40,997 --> 00:09:43,124
So, who do you like
in the afternoon games?
243
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:45,918
Well, I like the 49ers
because they're pure of heart,
244
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:48,629
Seattle because they got
something to prove,
245
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,798
and the Raiders
because they always cheat.
246
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:52,967
In an extremely suspicious play
247
00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:54,635
the Raiders win!
248
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,095
Three for three!
249
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:04,437
Hey, the new sign's
really working.
250
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,647
It's been a madhouse, Lisa.
251
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:07,940
Let's see...
252
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,109
Football... football...
253
00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:11,777
homoeroticism in...
254
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:13,529
oddball Canadian rules...
255
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,615
Phyllis George in...
256
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,825
Doctor, what a finish!
257
00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:21,370
The final score...
Atlanta 17, Houston 13.
258
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,723
And the lowly Falcons
are flying high.
259
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,665
Who would have thunk it?
260
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,792
My daughter, that's who.
261
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,169
Yeah, me.
262
00:10:28,252 --> 00:10:29,754
Lisa, you pick the winner
every time.
263
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:32,131
You must have some kind
of special gift.
264
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:33,966
Come on Dad. It doesn't
take a genius
265
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,486
to realize that Houston's failed
to cover their last ten outings
266
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,679
on away turf the week
after scoring more
267
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,681
than three touchdowns
in a conference game.
268
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,601
My little girl
says the cutest things.
269
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,853
You know, Dad,
Sunday is fast becoming
270
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:47,480
my favorite day of the week.
271
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:51,233
Not Sunday... Daddy-Daughter Day.
272
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,152
The usual, Moe...
273
00:10:53,235 --> 00:10:55,988
A beer...
and a wad of bills!
274
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:57,657
Okay...
275
00:10:57,740 --> 00:11:00,409
You lucky moron.
276
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,539
Here you go, Homer, $135.
277
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:09,377
I used to hate the smell
of your sweaty feet.
278
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:11,796
Now it's the smell of victory.
279
00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:12,879
Shut up.
280
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:17,176
Look at these prices.
We could finally get rid
281
00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:19,220
of those termites
for the cost of this meal.
282
00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:21,806
Tut-tut, only the best
for my family.
283
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:24,642
Homer, I can't help wondering
where you're getting the money from?
284
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:28,145
Mom, can't a man do something
nice for his loved ones?
285
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,480
I guess so.
286
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,150
Hello, I'm Marco,
I'll be your waiter.
287
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:35,528
Hello, I'm Homer,
I'll be your customer.
288
00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:39,407
Never heard that one before.
289
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,492
Would you care
to select the wine?
290
00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:43,494
I'll do the honors.
291
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:45,788
No, no, no, no.
292
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:47,206
My God!
293
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:49,250
What passes for
a wine list these days?
294
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:51,019
Marco, just bring us your
freshest bottle of wine.
295
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:53,671
Chop, chop.
296
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:57,591
Charming lad.
297
00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:59,051
Violin guy.
298
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,679
What's your favorite song, Lisa?
299
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:04,682
- "The Broken Neck Blues."
- Play on.
300
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:13,566
It is the playoffs.
301
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,443
It's five below.
302
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:17,295
And there's one loyal fan
wearing nothing but a G-string.
303
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:19,655
And the team colors
painted on his body.
304
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:22,575
He doesn't look too happy.
305
00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:24,553
Well, maybe the paint has shut
off his pores and he's slowly suffocating.
306
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,495
Still, that is a real fan.
307
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,205
Well Lisa, it's
Daddy-Daughter Day,
308
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:29,707
and Daddy needs
daughter's picks.
309
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,125
Dad, I'm making the Chiefs
310
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:33,669
my five-star,
silver bullet special.
311
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,422
And with your blessing,
I'd like to tie it to the Cowboys
312
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:37,506
plus five at Chicago.
313
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,718
Good, good. You call Moe.
314
00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:43,345
Moe, this is L.S.
calling for H.S.
315
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,722
Just give me the bet, Lisa.
316
00:12:44,805 --> 00:12:47,016
110, 120...
317
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,559
You lucky son of a...
318
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:50,078
Hey Homer, you want to go
bowling next Sunday?
319
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,772
Barney, are you nuts?
That's the Super Bowl.
320
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:54,440
How about the Sunday after that?
321
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:56,275
Well, my ma's coming in
from Norway
322
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:58,486
but what the hell.
323
00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:01,614
And when the doctor said
I didn't have worms anymore,
324
00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:03,949
that was the happiest day
of my life.
325
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:05,910
Thank you, Ralph, very graphic.
326
00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:09,955
Lisa Simpson, would you like
to read your essay?
327
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:13,542
The happiest day of my life
was three Sundays ago
328
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,420
I was sitting on my Daddy's
knee when the Saints...
329
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,982
Who are four and a half point favorites,
but only up by three...
330
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,633
Kicked a meaningless field goal
331
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:22,635
at the last second
to cover the spread.
332
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:23,928
Dear God!
333
00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,431
Dad!
You must have bought me
334
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:28,784
every Malibu Stacy
accessory there is.
335
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,226
Not quite.
336
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,186
They were out
of Malibu Stacy lunar rovers.
337
00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:34,980
Ooh, perfume!
338
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,566
"Meryl Streep's Versatility."
339
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,032
Boy, I know you're going
to like your present.
340
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:46,784
Shut up! Shut up!
Kiss my butt!
341
00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,369
Shut up!
Go to hell! Go to hell!
342
00:13:48,452 --> 00:13:50,329
Dad, I promise you,
343
00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:52,498
I will never get tired of this.
344
00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:55,668
Homer, those were
very thoughtful presents
345
00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:58,754
but you have to tell me
where you got the money from.
346
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,256
Alright Marge, I'll tell you,
347
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,339
but first you have to
promise you will not get mad.
348
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:03,884
I promise I will get mad
349
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:05,654
because I always do when you
make me promise I won't.
350
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,221
Alright, if you must know,
351
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:08,865
Lisa and I have been gambling
on pro football.
352
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:10,015
Homer!
353
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,419
You promised
you wouldn't get mad.
354
00:14:11,475 --> 00:14:12,953
I did not.
I promised I would get mad.
355
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,937
She's an eight-year-old girl!
356
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:17,815
Marge, she never loses.
She's got a gift.
357
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,859
Aren't parents supposed
to encourage their kids
358
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:20,985
whenever they show talent?
359
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:22,820
But gambling is illegal.
360
00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:24,530
Only in 48 states.
361
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:26,615
Besides,
it's a victimless crime.
362
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,826
The only victim is Moe
363
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:31,620
and it's brought
Lisa and me together.
364
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,913
I just don't know.
365
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,498
Look, what's the problem?
366
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,834
The kids are happy,
you smell like Meryl Streep
367
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:39,837
and I got that foot massager
I've always wanted.
368
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,966
Believe me, Marge, nothing bad
could possibly come of this.
369
00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:45,801
You know, Dad,
370
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,761
we've been watching
a lot of TV lately.
371
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,722
Maybe the Sunday
after the Super Bowl
372
00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,645
we could hike up to
the top of Mt. Springfield.
373
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:54,393
The fires in the tire yards
really make for some beautiful sunsets.
374
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:58,063
That sounds great honey, but next
Sunday I'm going bowling with Barney.
375
00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:00,190
What about Daddy-Daughter Day?
376
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:03,027
Don't worry. The new football season
is only seven months away.
377
00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:04,320
So that's it.
378
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,405
You just wanted me
to help you gamble.
379
00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:09,325
You never wanted
to be with me at all.
380
00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:15,164
You're a very selfish man.
381
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:16,790
Go to hell!
Go to hell!
382
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,876
Hey, once again,
great present, Dad.
383
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,678
My third husband bought me this.
384
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,597
Give me some chips for it.
385
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:32,932
Are you sure Ma'am?
386
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,350
Don't tell me what to do Sonny.
387
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:35,976
I've been gambling
since I was eight
388
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,771
and I've been hocking jewelry
since I was 12.
389
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:39,855
Now give me some chips.
390
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:47,905
Look around you, Malibu Stacy.
391
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,698
All this was bought
with dirty money.
392
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:54,328
Your penthouse, your Alfa-Romeo,
your collagen-injection clinic.
393
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:56,330
You're going back
into the shoebox.
394
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:57,456
It may not be pretty
395
00:15:57,539 --> 00:15:59,917
but damn it, it's honest.
396
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,964
I, Lisa Simpson
397
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,091
am hereby giving away
398
00:16:07,174 --> 00:16:11,387
all my ill-gotten
Malibu Stacy accessories!
399
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:24,942
Look Lisa, I bought you
400
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,652
a Malibu Stacy chinchilla coat.
401
00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:28,153
Ooh!
402
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,114
So you've come to buy
my forgiveness.
403
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,740
Sorry, Homer.
404
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,867
Lisa, honey, I'm sorry
I hurt your feelings.
405
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:37,287
But I really had a good time
watching football with you
406
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,832
and I think you had
a good time with me.
407
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,875
Yeah, I did.
408
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:43,645
Well, come on, we can still
watch the Super Bowl together
409
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,879
Can't we?
410
00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:50,050
Well, I would like to see
what the fuss is about.
411
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,635
It's a date.
412
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:54,054
So...
413
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:56,807
Do you think the Redskins
will beat the spread?
414
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:59,309
Put me down.
415
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:03,355
Look Dad, I'll tell you who's going
to win the Super Bowl if you want me to,
416
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,065
but it will just
validate my theory
417
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:06,668
that you cared more
about winning money
418
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,527
than you did about me.
419
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:09,820
Okay.
420
00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:11,697
I think Washington
is a mortal lock.
421
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:13,782
Washington!
Whoo-hoo!
422
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,576
However...
423
00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:16,761
However? What however?
What do you mean 'however'?
424
00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,162
However what?
425
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:21,790
However, I may also be
so clouded with rage
426
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,418
that subconsciously
I want you to lose.
427
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:27,755
In which case,
I'd bet the farm on Buffalo.
428
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:29,965
Lisa, do me a favor.
Complete this sentence:
429
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,551
Daddy should bet
all his money on...
430
00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:34,595
I don't know.
431
00:17:34,678 --> 00:17:36,430
If I still love you, Washington.
432
00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:38,766
If I don't, Buffalo.
433
00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:46,607
Homer, I think that chip's
got enough dip on it.
434
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:51,361
We're live from the
Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome
435
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:53,113
and Super Bowl 26.
436
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:54,615
Today we're going to be seen
437
00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:58,452
by people in 150 countries
all over the world
438
00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:01,413
including our newest affiliate,
W-Gimel-Aleph-Nun
439
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:02,414
in Tel Aviv.
440
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,874
Stupid!
441
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,667
Sorry...
442
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:09,880
Formidable.
443
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:20,057
Every note is
like a dagger in my heart.
444
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,225
I got to get out of here.
445
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:22,601
Moe's Tavern.
446
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:24,603
Home of the Super Sunday
Brunch Spectacular.
447
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:26,522
Baloney.
448
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:28,232
Bread!
449
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:29,775
Got you down for 40 bucks.
450
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,777
Good luck, Your Eminence.
451
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,946
Sorry, Homer, you can't take
any more of my money.
452
00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:36,615
I'm out of the bookie business.
453
00:18:36,698 --> 00:18:38,534
But Moe,
you've been taking bets all...
454
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:41,578
- Hey, Barney, how 'bout a free beer.
- Wow!
455
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,288
Don't worry, Moe,
I'm not betting.
456
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,999
- What? Give me that.
- Aw.
457
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:48,335
I had the greatest gift of all...
458
00:18:48,418 --> 00:18:49,896
A little girl who
could pick football...
459
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,755
And I ruined it.
460
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,173
Well, sir, we're two hours
461
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,134
and 45 minutes into
the pregame show,
462
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:56,444
and we've got ourselves
a special guest...
463
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:57,928
Actor Troy McClure,
464
00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:00,222
whose new sitcom
is premiering tonight
465
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,099
coincidentally enough,
right after the game!
466
00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:03,767
Thanks, Bret.
467
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:05,411
My new show's called
"Handle With Care."
468
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,229
I play Jack Handle,
a retired cop
469
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,082
who shares an apartment
with a retired criminal.
470
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,774
We're the original Odd Couple.
471
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:13,110
What made you want to do
a situation comedy?
472
00:19:13,193 --> 00:19:15,070
Well I fell in love
with the script, Bret.
473
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:18,699
And my recent trouble
with the IRS sealed the deal.
474
00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:19,782
Great, great, Troy.
475
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,326
Ooh! Looks like
476
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,120
we're almost ready
for the kickoff.
477
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:24,705
Washington kicks.
478
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:26,456
It's a bad kick, way too short.
479
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,501
Buffalo is going to start
with excellent field position.
480
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:30,502
Buffalo's going to win.
481
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:33,005
Lisa hates me.
482
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,274
What you got riding
on this game?
483
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:35,591
My daughter.
484
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,759
What a gambler.
485
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,636
And with the score at the half...
486
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,763
Buffalo 14, Washington 7...
487
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:46,226
It's time for the never-tedious
Super Bowl halftime show.
488
00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:52,191
People of Earth, we've come
ten billion light-years
489
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:56,153
to bring you this
halftime message of peace.
490
00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:58,405
♪ One, two, three o'clock,
four o'clock, rock ♪
491
00:19:58,488 --> 00:20:00,949
♪ Five, six, seven o'clock,
eight o'clock rock ♪
492
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,285
♪ Nine, ten, eleven o'clock,
twelve o'clock rock ♪
493
00:20:03,368 --> 00:20:06,955
♪ We're gonna rock
around the world tonight ♪
494
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,165
This sucks.
495
00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:10,209
Come on, snipers, where are you?
496
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,543
Bart, who's winning?
497
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,503
You-hate-Dad is up
by a touchdown.
498
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:18,050
Go! Go! Go! Go! Yay!
499
00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:21,887
It's a touchdown
for halfback Dan Beerdorf.
500
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:23,931
Duff Dry has won the Duff Bowl.
501
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:27,726
They wanted it more.
502
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,978
Hey, Homer, didn't you say
if Duff Dry wins,
503
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:30,979
your daughter loves you?
504
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,273
Not Duff Dry, Washington.
505
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:35,567
Okay, okay,
they're both great teams.
506
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:36,651
- Yay!
- Yay!
507
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:39,863
Touchdown, Redskins.
508
00:20:39,947 --> 00:20:41,615
All right,
we're back in business.
509
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,911
Well, I'm glad some people
510
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:47,871
could resist the lures
of the big game.
511
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:50,082
My God!
I forgot the game!
512
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:52,334
So, with three ticks left
on the clock,
513
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,253
it all comes down
to this one play.
514
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:56,505
If Washington scores here,
happy fans will be looting
515
00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,608
and turning over cars in our
nation's capitol tonight.
516
00:20:58,632 --> 00:20:59,675
Here's the handoff..
517
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:00,759
Please, please, please.
518
00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:02,761
Touchdown!
519
00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:04,304
Stick a cork in this one,
it is done!
520
00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:07,224
The Washington Redskins
win Super Bowl 26!
521
00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:08,308
I guess you love Dad.
522
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:10,227
I suspected as much.
523
00:21:10,310 --> 00:21:12,813
Yes! She loves me,
she loves me.
524
00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:14,256
What are you so
happy about, Homer?
525
00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:15,899
You didn't win any money.
526
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:18,986
Money comes and money goes,
but what I have with my daughter
527
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:21,280
can go on for eight more years!
528
00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:26,410
Come on, Dad!
529
00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:34,001
It's beautiful.
530
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,335
Isn't it, though?
531
00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:38,463
After I catch my breath...
532
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:42,676
can we go home?
533
00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:50,642
♪♪
534
00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:57,542
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
37505
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