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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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D'
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Aah!
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Hello, I'm Kent Brockman,
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00:00:56,473 --> 00:01:00,185
and this is
"Eye on Springfield."
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♪♪
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Wow. Info-tainment.
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Tonight we salute
the silver anniversary
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of The Great Springfield
Tire Yard Fire,
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25 years
and still burning strong.
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We watch
Springfield's oldest man
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meet Springfield's fattest man.
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He's not so fat.
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And we visit with
heavyweight champion Dredrick Tatum
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who reminisces about
growing up in Springfield.
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That town was a dump.
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If you ever see me back there,
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you know I really up bad.
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00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,874
But first, part seven
of our eye-opening look
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at the bikini.
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♪♪
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Whoa... T and A!
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Bart, why are you still up?
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Lisa's slumber party.
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Who can sleep
with those five evil hens
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00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:22,433
cackling
and plotting against me?
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Boy, they've got better things
to talk about than you.
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00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,229
Sheesh, what an ego.
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Lisa, your brother is so gross.
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You should smell his room.
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Now remember, Wanda,
whatever shape the wax takes
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that's what your
husband's job will be.
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It's a mop.
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My husband will be a janitor.
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That looks like
an Olympic torch to me.
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Your husband could be
an Olympic athlete
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who will go on to have
a great acting career.
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It's a dustpan.
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The wax never lies.
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Let's play Truth or Dare.
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Truth or Dare!
Truth or Dare!
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I'll take... dare.
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I dare you to...
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kiss Lisa's brother.
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Eww!!
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What the...?
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Aaaaahh!
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I'm telling Mom and Dad.
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- You're telling who?
- Mom and Dad.
50
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Jinx!
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Now you can't talk till
somebody says your name.
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Coming up next: an elephant
who never forgets...
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to brush!
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What is it, boy?
55
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Is anything the matter, my son?
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Talk to me, young man.
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Say your name?
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Why should I do that, my lad?
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Because I'm jinxed, damn it!
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What was that for?
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You spoke while you were jinxed
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so I get to
punch you in the arm.
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Sorry, it's the law.
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There he is.
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Let's give him a make-over.
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Run for it, boy!
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♪♪
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Aaaaahh!
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Oof!
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Come here, Maggie.
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That's it, I'm out of here.
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Hiya, Homer.
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What's the matter, Moe?
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Business is slow.
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00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,128
People today are healthier
and drinking less.
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You know, if it wasn't for
the junior high school next door
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no one would even use
the cigarette machine.
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Yeah, things are tough all over.
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Increased job satisfaction
and family togetherness
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00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:07,598
are poison for a purveyor of
mind-numbing intoxicants like myself.
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00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:09,309
- Can I get a beer?
- Yeah, sure.
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Sorry. I forgot
we're out of beer.
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- Aahh!
- I know.
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I got behind
on my beer payments.
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The distributor cut me off
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and I spent my last ten grand
on the Love Tester.
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You're too late, Homer.
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00:05:24,365 --> 00:05:25,950
Barney sucked it dry.
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Cut his gums up pretty bad.
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Take it easy, Homer.
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00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,834
I learned how to make other
drinks at Bartender school.
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Gin and... tonic?
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Do they mix?
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Hey, I know a good drink.
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Really hits the spot.
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00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,927
I invented it myself.
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00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,013
One night,
Marge's beastly sisters
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were showing slides
from their latest vacation.
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00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:51,308
And this is Patty
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00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,061
trying to plug her leg razor
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00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:56,147
into one of those ungodly
Czechoslovakian outlets.
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As you can see, we
never did get the hang of it.
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Ay, caramba!
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00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,904
As I stared up at that
hairy yellow drumstick
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00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:04,989
I knew I needed a drink.
106
00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:08,034
Patty, Selma, would you
excuse me for a moment?
107
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:11,287
If you're going for a beer,
this is the last one.
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00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,371
D'
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I decided to mix
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the little bits that were
left in every liquor bottle.
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In my haste,
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00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:21,798
I had grabbed a bottle
of the kids' cough syrup.
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It passed the first test...
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I didn't go blind.
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00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:34,894
They say everyone can float
in the Dead Sea,
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00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:37,230
but Selma sank
right to the bottom.
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I don't know the
scientific explanation
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but fire made it good.
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Sounds like one hell of a drink.
120
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What do you call it?
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A Flaming Homer.
122
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Okay. Why don't you
make us up
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00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,582
a couple of Flaming Homers?
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00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,334
Hey, Moe, you got any
cough syrup?
125
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,145
Let me check the lost and
found. What do we got here?
126
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,630
Bowie knife, troll doll...
127
00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,590
glass eye...
128
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,552
Here we are.
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00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,645
It's not without it's charm.
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Try lighting it on fire.
131
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Wow!
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00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:29,240
Homer, it's like there's
a party in my mouth
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00:07:29,323 --> 00:07:30,908
and everyone's invited.
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00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,785
Hey, your Love Tester's busted.
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00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,370
I want my nickel back.
136
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:38,666
Hey, buddy,
have one on the house.
137
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,629
Hey, this drink is delicious
138
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,131
and my phlegm feels looser.
139
00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:46,214
What do you call it?
140
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:47,800
Well, it's called a Flaming...
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00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,760
Moe!
It's called a Flaming Moe.
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That's right, a Flaming Moe.
143
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,638
My name is Moe,
and I invented it.
144
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,515
That's why it's
called a Flaming Moe.
145
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:55,909
What? What are you
looking at, Homer?
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00:07:55,933 --> 00:07:57,310
It's a Flaming Moe.
I'm Moe.
147
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:03,316
Oh!
148
00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:08,112
- Hey, what's this?
- A sneeze guard.
149
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:12,283
Wow, it really works!
150
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:14,410
Moe, I haven't seen
the place this crowded
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00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,762
since the government
cracked down on you
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00:08:15,786 --> 00:08:17,330
for accepting food stamps.
153
00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:19,057
Do you think my drink has
something to do with it?
154
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,667
Who can say? It's probably
a combination of things.
155
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,337
Another pitcher of those
amazing Flaming Moes.
156
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,756
I hate this joint,
but I love that drink.
157
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:30,676
Barkeep, I couldn't
help noticing your sign.
158
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,095
The one that says
"Bartenders do it 'til you barf"?
159
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,348
No. Above that
store-bought drollery.
160
00:08:35,431 --> 00:08:37,767
Great. Why don't we
fill out an application.
161
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,895
I'll need your name,
measurements, and turn-ons.
162
00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:43,147
You really expect me
to tell you my measurements?
163
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,774
You could, but I find this way
164
00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,318
is much more accurate, and fun.
165
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,820
What do you offer
in the way of salary?
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00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,280
Minimum wage and tips.
167
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,407
Of course,
there are fringe benefits.
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Such as?
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An unforgettable weekend
at Club Moe.
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00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,914
I'd prefer to take
my vacation someplace hot.
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00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:04,460
I like your moxie, kid.
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00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,878
You're hired.
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00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,880
You shan't regret this.
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00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,549
Me thinks I shan't.
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00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,926
Pardon me, are you the
genius behind the Flaming Moe?
176
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:13,678
- Why yes, I...
- I'm your man.
177
00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:15,388
My name's Harv Bannister.
178
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,056
I work for Tipsy McStagger's
179
00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:18,659
Good Time Drinking
and Eating Emporium.
180
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:21,769
Yeah? Hey, what's
Mr. McStagger really like?
181
00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:23,521
Actually, there is no
Tipsy McStagger.
182
00:09:23,604 --> 00:09:26,023
He's just a composite
of other successful logos.
183
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:27,525
Well, you tell him for me
184
00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:29,819
that he makes
one great mozzarella stick.
185
00:09:29,902 --> 00:09:31,112
Yes, fine, I will.
186
00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:33,155
Anyway, I've got a
proposition for you.
187
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,907
Keep talking.
188
00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:36,325
We feel your Flaming Moe
189
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,553
is perfect for our
restaurant chain.
190
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,744
We want to buy the recipe.
191
00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,997
No dice. The Flaming Moe
is not for sale.
192
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,720
Do you know how much
of my blood and sweat
193
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:44,333
are in this drink?
194
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,711
Figure of speech.
195
00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:47,920
Sorry, Harv.
196
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,008
I'll be back.
197
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,387
Good for you, Moe.
198
00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,139
Only an idiot would give away
199
00:09:58,222 --> 00:09:59,890
a million-dollar idea like that.
200
00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,144
So the next time you use
201
00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:04,729
a gas chromatograph,
202
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:07,565
remember to thank
Mr. A.J.P. Morton.
203
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:08,983
Brilliant, Martin.
Brilliant.
204
00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:11,986
Once again you've wrecked
the grading curve.
205
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:14,697
I pity the poor student
who has to follow you.
206
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,158
Bart Simpson, you're next.
207
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:19,702
"The Inventor I Admire"
by Bart Simpson.
208
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:22,288
The inventor I admire
is not a rich man
209
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:25,124
or a famous man,
or even a smart man.
210
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:27,543
He's my father, Homer Simpson,
211
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,837
creator of...
♪ Dun-da-da-dah ♪
212
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,632
the Flaming Homer!
213
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:33,924
The Flaming Homer?
214
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,718
You mean the Flaming Moe
215
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:37,970
and your dad
didn't invent it, you wuss.
216
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,597
Moe the Bartender did.
217
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:40,765
Yes, everyone knows that.
218
00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:41,848
It's not true.
219
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:43,309
My father invented that drink.
220
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,603
And if you'll allow me
to demonstrate.
221
00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:47,480
Bart, are those liquor bottles?
222
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:48,790
I brought enough for everybody.
223
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:50,441
Take those to
the teachers' lounge.
224
00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:52,127
You can have what's left
at the end of the day.
225
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,488
♪♪
226
00:10:57,615 --> 00:10:59,575
Hey, Bernard!
227
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:00,826
Good evening, Krusty.
228
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,662
Nice to see you, Bernard.
229
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,372
Thank you very much.
Right this way.
230
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:05,891
- Krusty, over here!
- Krusty, one more!
231
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,915
What the...
232
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:11,587
♪♪
233
00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:18,052
Henceforth, this date
shall forever be known
234
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:19,637
as Flaming Moe's Day.
235
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,722
Sir, this is already
Veteran's Day.
236
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:22,806
It can be two things.
237
00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:33,067
Mom, instead of milk for dinner,
can I have a Virgin Moe?
238
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,570
Honey, what's wrong?
239
00:11:36,654 --> 00:11:38,155
I'll tell you what's wrong.
240
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:41,742
That rotten Moe is getting rich
off a recipe I gave him.
241
00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,664
Take that off this second.
242
00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:48,165
Okay.
243
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,889
Homie, why don't you
just go down to Moe's
244
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:51,669
and talk to him?
245
00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:54,588
I bet he'd be willing to share
some of his success with you.
246
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:55,715
Nah.
247
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,008
Marge, I'm too upset to eat.
248
00:11:58,092 --> 00:11:59,844
I think I'll go to Moe's.
249
00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:01,262
D'
250
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:06,559
Hey!
251
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:07,560
Can I help you, sir?
252
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:08,978
I need to talk to Moe.
253
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,181
Your name's not on the list.
254
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,564
I didn't even tell you my name.
255
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,250
- Okay, what's your name?
- Homer Simpson.
256
00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,358
- Not on the list.
- But...
257
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:17,570
We're all filled up.
Fire laws!
258
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:18,904
Ladies and gentlemen,
259
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,865
some new buddies of mine
stopped by tonight.
260
00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,325
Maybe we can get them
to come up here.
261
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,287
How about a warm
Flaming Moe's welcome for...
262
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:27,663
Aerosmith!
263
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,124
- I don't think so, Moe.
- Nah.
264
00:12:30,207 --> 00:12:31,375
We're just hanging out.
265
00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:32,960
Come on, guys.
Free pickled eggs.
266
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:34,211
- All right!
- Yeah!
267
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,633
Hello, St. Louis!
268
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,510
That's Springfield, Steven.
269
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,511
Yeah. Right.
270
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,929
Are you ready to rock?
271
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,556
Yeah!
272
00:12:45,639 --> 00:12:47,892
I said, are you ready to rock!
273
00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:50,102
- Yeah!
- Hit it!
274
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:53,898
♪♪
275
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,792
♪ Backstroke lover, I was
hiding 'neath the covers ♪
276
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:57,502
♪ You was talkin' to
your daddy and sayin' ♪
277
00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,111
♪ Said you ain't
seen nothin' ♪
278
00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:01,113
♪ Till you're down
on the muffin ♪
279
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,532
♪ Then you're sure to be
a-changin' your way ♪
280
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,496
♪ I met a cheerleader
was a real young breeder ♪
281
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,286
♪ All the times
I can reminisce ♪
282
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:08,680
♪ 'Cause the best things
of lovin' ♪
283
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:10,247
♪ Was a sister
and a cousin ♪
284
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:11,558
♪ Only started
with a little kiss ♪
285
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:12,666
♪ Like this... ♪
286
00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:16,170
- Barney?
- Hi, Homer.
287
00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:17,171
I want you to meet my friends
288
00:13:17,254 --> 00:13:19,548
Armando and Raffi.
289
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:23,862
♪ So I took a big chance
at the high school dance ♪
290
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:25,721
♪ With a missy
who was ready to play ♪
291
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,599
Hey, Moe, come on.
Get up here.
292
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:30,392
♪ And I know that love
was here to stay ♪
293
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,479
♪ When she told me to
Walk this way ♪
294
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,648
♪ Walk this way ♪
295
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:37,775
♪ Walk this way ♪
296
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:39,652
♪ Walk this way ♪
297
00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:45,157
Hiya, scrumptious.
Do you want to ignite my drink?
298
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,951
You're my kid's teacher.
299
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:48,410
Single parent, are we?
300
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,411
No.
301
00:13:49,495 --> 00:13:51,831
Well, let's pretend you are.
302
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:52,914
Get away from me.
303
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,583
- Hey, Moe!
- Hi, Homer.
304
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:55,751
How about a beer?
305
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:58,003
I'd rather have a Flaming Homer.
306
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,506
A what?
I get it.
307
00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,258
How could you
do this to me, Moe?
308
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,968
This bar was going under,
309
00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:06,512
and it was the drink
I invented that saved it.
310
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:07,972
If there was any justice,
311
00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:10,599
my face would be on
a bunch of crappy merchandise.
312
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,935
Morris, is what
this man saying true?
313
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,311
Well, it's hard to say.
314
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,355
He may have come up
with the recipe
315
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:17,898
but I came up with the idea
316
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:20,192
of charging $6.95 for it.
317
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,944
Telephone.
318
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:23,654
Flaming Moe's.
319
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,173
Yes, I'm looking for
a friend of mine.
320
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:27,575
Last name: Jazz.
First name: Hugh.
321
00:14:27,658 --> 00:14:28,826
Hold on. I'll check.
322
00:14:28,909 --> 00:14:30,452
Hugh Jazz?
323
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,289
Somebody check the men's room
for a Hugh Jazz.
324
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,582
I'm Hugh Jazz.
325
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:35,666
Telephone.
326
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:37,251
Hello, this is Hugh Jazz.
327
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:38,502
Hi.
328
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,706
- Who's this?
- Bart Simpson.
329
00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,422
What can I do for you, Bart?
330
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,132
Look,
I'll level with you mister.
331
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:44,401
This is a crank call
that sorta backfired
332
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:46,510
and I'd like to bail out
right now.
333
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,887
Alright.
Better luck next time.
334
00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,972
What a nice young man.
335
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:52,933
Homer, I'm sorry you're mad
at me, but this isn't personal.
336
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:54,017
This is business.
337
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:55,227
Business?
338
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,580
Well, let me tell you something.
339
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,022
You just lost
yourself a customer.
340
00:14:58,105 --> 00:15:00,190
What? I'm sorry.
Homer, I couldn't hear you.
341
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,860
I said, you just lost
yourself a customer!
342
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:05,279
- What?
- You just lost yourself a customer!
343
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:06,822
Homer, you're gonna
have to speak up.
344
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,199
You just lost yourself
a customer, Moe!
345
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:10,993
I forced myself to what?
346
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,579
You just lost
yourself a customer!
347
00:15:13,662 --> 00:15:14,931
Homer, I'll talk
to ya' tomorrow.
348
00:15:14,955 --> 00:15:17,374
You just lost yourself
a customer!
349
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:18,792
Yeah, you can use it.
350
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,678
♪♪
351
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,556
♪ When the weight of the world
has got you down ♪
352
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,643
♪ And you want to end
your life ♪
353
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:37,603
♪ Bills to pay,
a dead-end job ♪
354
00:15:37,686 --> 00:15:40,898
♪ And problems
with the wife ♪
355
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:43,651
♪ But don't throw
in the towel ♪
356
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:46,904
♪ 'Cause there's a place
right down the block ♪
357
00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:52,660
♪ Where you can drink
your misery away ♪
358
00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:56,664
- ♪ At Flaming Moe's ♪
- ♪ Let's all go to Flaming Moe's ♪
359
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,248
♪ Let's all go
to Flaming Moe's ♪
360
00:15:58,332 --> 00:16:00,542
♪ Where liquor in a mug ♪
361
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:03,712
- ♪ Can warm you like a hug ♪
- ♪ Flaming Moe's ♪
362
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:08,509
♪ And happiness is just
a Flaming Moe away ♪
363
00:16:08,592 --> 00:16:12,721
♪ Happiness is just
a Flaming Moe away. ♪
364
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:19,812
Barney!
365
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:21,495
How's the world treating you,
Mr. Gumble?
366
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:24,900
Hey, there!
367
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,485
What can I do for you, Harv?
368
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:29,071
Well, sir, Tipsy McStagger
would like to buy your drink.
369
00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,072
He's here?
370
00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:31,490
No, no, no.
371
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:34,284
I mean my company is
willing to do what it takes
372
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,203
to get that recipe.
373
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:38,539
We're prepared
to offer you $1 million.
374
00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:43,168
Sorry, Harv,
but like I told you before
375
00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,586
it ain't for sale.
376
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:45,921
Don't be stupid!
377
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,649
We have a laboratory for
this kind of thing.
378
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,134
We've got it all figured out,
except for one ingredient.
379
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:51,927
Brace yourselves, gentlemen.
380
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,847
According to
the gas chromatograph,
381
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:57,182
the secret ingredient is...
382
00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,600
Love?!
383
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,769
Who's been screwing
with this thing?
384
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,564
I'm sorry, but the secret
ingredient dies with me.
385
00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:05,983
30 cases of cough syrup.
386
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:07,651
Sign here.
387
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:09,611
I got hooked on this
stuff in the service.
388
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:14,158
My new watering hole.
389
00:17:16,493 --> 00:17:18,037
Yeah, what do you want?!
390
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,289
- A beer.
- Okay, then.
391
00:17:23,333 --> 00:17:25,127
Can I have a clean glass?
392
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:29,423
Here you go, your majesty.
393
00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:31,175
Next on "Eye on Springfield,"
394
00:17:31,258 --> 00:17:33,427
a toast to Moe,
the wizard of Walnut Street.
395
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:36,722
The Flaming Moe
dates back to my forefathers
396
00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:38,891
who were bartenders to the czar.
397
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:41,643
So, Mr. Hutz,
does my husband have a case?
398
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,228
I'm sorry,
Mrs. Simpson
399
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,938
but you can't copyright a drink.
400
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:49,693
This all goes back to the
Frank Wallbanger case of '78.
401
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,820
How about that?
I looked something up.
402
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,323
These books behind me don't
just make the office look good.
403
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:57,826
They're filled with useful
legal tidbits just like that.
404
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,495
Stupid Moe.
405
00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,622
Non-inventing,
recipe-stealing, pug-nosed...
406
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:03,624
Well, Homer, maybe you
can take some consolation
407
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:05,459
in the fact that
something you created
408
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:07,878
is making so many people happy.
409
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,379
Ooh! Look at me.
410
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,465
I'm making people happy.
411
00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:14,384
I'm the magical man
from Happy Land
412
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:18,013
in a gumdrop house
on Lollipop Lane.
413
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:22,017
By the way,
I was being sarcastic.
414
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,644
Well, duh!
415
00:18:23,727 --> 00:18:26,647
Now, that's what I call
a happy hour.
416
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:30,025
Morris, something troubles me.
417
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,693
Don't worry baby.
418
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,296
My mother won't be home
for another 20 minutes.
419
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,490
No. I was just thinking
about Homer Simpson.
420
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:37,741
That's okay.
421
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,302
I was just thinking
about Sybil Danning.
422
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:41,870
I meant, I think you
should sell your drink
423
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,872
and give half the money
to Homer.
424
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:44,956
But, honey...
425
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:46,792
He's your friend, Morris,
426
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:49,920
and you took advantage of him.
427
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:51,213
All right.
All right.
428
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:52,631
I'll split the million
with Homer.
429
00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:54,049
Jeepers, Mary and Joseph!
430
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,300
I sleep with a chick once
431
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,302
it costs me
half a million bananas.
432
00:18:57,386 --> 00:19:01,431
Moe, Moe, Moe...
433
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,600
Bart, are you going
to mow the lawn today?
434
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,394
Okay, but you promised me
Moe money.
435
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:06,728
I Moe, I Moe.
436
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:10,482
Moe, Moe, Moe...
437
00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:11,984
When Bart's done, can we Moe
438
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,735
to the Moevies?
There's a Moetinee.
439
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:17,072
Of course. All work and Moe play
makes Moe a Moe Moe.
440
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:18,907
- Moe Moe Moe Moe Moe?
- Moe Moe Moe.
441
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,534
Moe Moe Moe Moe Moe.
442
00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:21,660
Moe Moe Moe Moe.
443
00:19:23,745 --> 00:19:24,745
Moe.
444
00:19:24,788 --> 00:19:27,374
Moe, Moe...
445
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:28,458
Moe...
446
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,586
Moe, Moe...
447
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:32,045
Moe...
448
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,715
Moe, Moe...
449
00:19:34,798 --> 00:19:35,716
- Hey, Homer.
- Hey, Homer.
450
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:37,342
Hey, Homer.
451
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:41,430
- Hey, Homer.
- Hey, Homer.
452
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,765
- Hey, Homer.
- Hey, Homer.
453
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,350
Aaaaahh!
454
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,936
Hiya, Homer!
455
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,730
What's the matter?
456
00:19:49,813 --> 00:19:51,148
Aaaaaaahhh!
457
00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:52,691
♪ Sneakin' out
the back way ♪
458
00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:55,986
♪ Sneaking
down the alley way ♪
459
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:57,863
Hey, where's Joey?
460
00:19:57,946 --> 00:19:59,698
Mrs. Krabappel,
461
00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:01,909
I really need my drumsticks.
462
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:04,119
Come and get 'em!
463
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,288
You're going to be
a rich man, Moe.
464
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,790
I gotta tell you.
The way we usually work
465
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,251
in these situations is
to steal the recipe
466
00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:13,420
and run the inventor
out of business.
467
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:14,880
C'est la vie.
468
00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:18,133
What the...?
469
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,511
Fools!
470
00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:22,595
You poor, pathetic
471
00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:23,680
misguided creatures
472
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,265
choking down your Flaming Moes
473
00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:28,060
all the time wondering,
"How does he do it?"
474
00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:30,604
Well, I'm going to tell you.
475
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:31,772
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!
476
00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:33,690
The secret ingredient is...
477
00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:34,775
Homer, no!
478
00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:36,944
Cough syrup.
479
00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,655
Nothing but plain, ordinary,
over-the-counter
480
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:41,698
children's cough syrup.
481
00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:45,369
Shoot.
482
00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:47,120
Thank you, Mr. Nutball.
483
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,789
Got to go, Moe.
Tough luck.
484
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:52,000
Aaaaaaaahhh!
485
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,044
Holy cow, you just fell
486
00:20:54,127 --> 00:20:55,379
on Aerosmith!
487
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:07,224
Hey, Homer.
488
00:21:07,307 --> 00:21:08,517
Come in here.
489
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:09,893
Hi, Moe.
490
00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:11,204
Where's that waitress of yours?
491
00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,313
She left to pursue
a movie career.
492
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,357
Frankly, I think she
was better off here.
493
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:20,529
Moe, sorry I lost you hundreds
of thousands of dollars.
494
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:22,281
Hey, hey.
495
00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:24,700
Maybe some things are too good
to be kept a secret.
496
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:25,784
I guess so.
497
00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:27,286
Compliments of the house...
498
00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:30,122
One Flaming... Homer.
499
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:33,166
Aw, thanks, Moe.
500
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:36,295
You're the greatest friend
a guy could ever have.
501
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:39,298
Hey, do you think Aerosmith
will be in tonight?
502
00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:40,424
I doubt it.
503
00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:44,928
♪♪
504
00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:47,180
♪ Do it in the sunshine ♪
505
00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:49,391
♪ Hangin' from
a clothesline ♪
506
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:52,811
♪ Find another tree
to climb ♪
507
00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:54,521
♪ Young lust ♪
508
00:21:54,604 --> 00:21:55,623
♪ There's no time
for lovin' ♪
509
00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:57,190
♪ Young lust ♪
510
00:21:57,274 --> 00:21:58,650
♪ I don't need one
in the oven ♪
511
00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:00,527
♪ Young lust ♪
512
00:22:00,610 --> 00:22:02,487
♪ I'm a-pushin'
and a-shovin' it ♪
513
00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:03,571
♪ Yeah ♪
514
00:22:03,613 --> 00:22:05,198
♪ Young lust ♪
515
00:22:05,282 --> 00:22:07,492
♪ Come on now
I just can't wait ♪
516
00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:09,786
♪ Are you fishin' or
you gonna cut bait ♪
517
00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:13,040
♪ Everybody body doin' it ♪
518
00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:14,750
♪ Young lust ♪
519
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:15,852
♪ There's no time
for lovin' ♪
520
00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:17,419
♪ Young lust ♪
521
00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:18,521
♪ I don't need one
in the oven ♪
522
00:22:18,545 --> 00:22:20,130
♪ Young lust ♪
523
00:22:20,213 --> 00:22:21,631
♪ I'm a-pushin'
and a-shovin' ♪
524
00:22:21,715 --> 00:22:23,717
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
525
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,385
♪ Young lust ♪
526
00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:27,763
♪ Come on now
I just can't wait ♪
527
00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:30,182
♪ Are you gonna finish
or you gonna cut bait ♪
528
00:22:30,265 --> 00:22:33,352
♪ Everybody body doin' it ♪
529
00:22:33,435 --> 00:22:35,062
♪ Young lust ♪
530
00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:36,164
♪ There's no time
for lovin' ♪
531
00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:37,731
♪ Young lust ♪
532
00:22:37,814 --> 00:22:38,833
♪ I don't need one
in the oven ♪
533
00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:40,442
♪ Young lust ♪
534
00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:41,985
♪ I'm a-pushin'
and a-shovin' ♪
535
00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:44,196
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
536
00:22:44,279 --> 00:22:45,864
♪ Young lust ♪
537
00:22:45,947 --> 00:22:48,158
♪ Come on now
I just can't wait ♪
538
00:22:48,241 --> 00:22:49,241
Shh!
539
00:22:52,662 --> 00:22:55,540
CAPTIONS ENHANCED BY
ROUNDABOUT ENTERTAINMENT INC.
37111
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