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1
00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,714
Hello, everyone.
2
00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:08,591
Before last year's
Halloween show
3
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,261
I warned you not to let
your children watch,
4
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:12,762
but you did anyway.
5
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,557
Well, this year's episode
is even worse.
6
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,308
It's scarier, more violent,
7
00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:20,729
and I think they snuck in
some bad language too.
8
00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:24,315
So please, tuck in
your children and...
9
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:27,986
Well, if you didn't
listen to me last time
10
00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:30,238
you're not going to now.
11
00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:32,073
Enjoy the show.
12
00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,537
♪♪
13
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:56,931
And to conclude
this Halloween newscast
14
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:59,017
on a scary note:
15
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:01,186
Remember,
the presidential primaries
16
00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:03,688
are only a few months away.
17
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:06,316
Hey, if you don't like it,
go to Russia.
18
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,487
Trick or treat, man.
19
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,155
Hey, aren't you
a little old for this?
20
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:13,615
You're not even
wearing costumes.
21
00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:15,617
Hand over the candy, old dude
22
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,136
or we egg your house
back to the Stone Age.
23
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:18,953
Here you go, kids.
24
00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,747
Heh-heh, heh.
25
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,040
Lousy punks.
26
00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:24,250
D'
27
00:01:26,669 --> 00:01:27,669
We're home.
28
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:32,759
Aah... whoo!
29
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:34,469
Get a good haul this year?
30
00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:35,804
Jackpot!
31
00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:38,473
I'm very, very proud
of you kids.
32
00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:41,851
We would have gotten more
if Lisa could walk faster.
33
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,728
I didn't select this
costume for mobility.
34
00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:45,438
I wore it to salute
35
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,166
the noble native Americans
of the Pacific Northwest.
36
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,190
Yaahh!
37
00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:52,821
Now, children, you can have
one piece of candy tonight,
38
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:55,406
and save the rest for...
39
00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:59,619
If you eat too much,
you'll have nightmares.
40
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,621
Yeah, everybody in this family
41
00:02:01,704 --> 00:02:03,748
is gonna have
a bad nightmare tonight.
42
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:05,875
Yeah, three bad nightmares.
43
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,586
I'd like to see that.
Heh-heh-heh.
44
00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:15,969
Ooh.
45
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,688
What a dump!
46
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:29,023
Why would Princess Grace
live in a place like this?
47
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:30,900
- Dad, that's Monaco.
- D'
48
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,739
I can do that,
but I don't want to.
49
00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:39,826
What is this thing?
50
00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:44,122
It is a monkey's paw, dating
back to Al-al Ben Abdallah.
51
00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:46,708
It has the power to
grant wishes to its owner.
52
00:02:46,791 --> 00:02:48,334
Yeah? How much?
53
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,962
Sir, I must strongly advise you,
do not purchase this.
54
00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:53,548
Behind every wish
lurks grave misfortune.
55
00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:55,717
I myself was once
president of Algeria.
56
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,344
Come on, pal,
I don't want to hear
your life story. Paw me.
57
00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:04,184
Eww, Homer. Where did you get
that ugly thing?
58
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:07,187
Why, at that little shop
right over... there.
59
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:09,856
No, wait, it was over there.
60
00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:12,358
You'll be sorry.
61
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,652
Flight #7,
Marrakech to Springfield,
62
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:15,736
now boarding.
63
00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:17,614
Just a moment.
64
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,037
Don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
65
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,371
They're souvenirs.
66
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:27,624
You must pay a fine
of two American dollars.
67
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,042
Okay.
68
00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,961
Let's wish for x-ray specs
that really work.
69
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,063
No, Bart... peace on earth.
70
00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,106
- X-ray specs.
- Peace on earth.
71
00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:35,149
- X-ray specs.
- Peace on earth.
72
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,966
- X-ray specs.
- Peace on earth.
73
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,069
Forget it, you two.
As the pants-wearer
of this house,
74
00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:40,386
I get the first wish.
75
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:43,264
Homer, there's something
I don't like
76
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:44,974
about that severed hand.
77
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,227
Marge, don't flake out on me.
78
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:49,812
That monkey's paw is gonna
make our dreams come true.
79
00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,442
No!
Maggie made a wish.
80
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,571
My land!
81
00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:00,198
Ooh! A luxury car.
82
00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:01,324
Good baby.
83
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:02,909
Good Maggie.
84
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,538
A new pacifier.
85
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:09,207
D'
86
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:12,085
Okay, no more foolin' around.
Paw, this is Bart.
87
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:14,462
I wish for the Simpsons
to be rich and famous.
88
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:15,713
Now you're talking.
89
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:19,676
Yay!
90
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,511
Woohoo!
91
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,347
Look, everybody.
My purse exploded!
92
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,015
Come on, everybody.
93
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,935
We're going to the fanciest
restaurant in town.
94
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:30,603
I'm terribly sorry.
95
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,064
I have absolutely nothing
until June.
96
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:34,607
The Simpsons!
97
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:37,110
Right this way, please.
98
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:40,905
Homer, maybe fame and fortune
aren't as bad as they say.
99
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,366
If I hear one more thing
about the Simpsons,
100
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,993
I swear I'm going to scream.
101
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:47,036
At first they were
cute and funny,
102
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,222
but now they're just annoying.
103
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:51,040
18 bucks for this?
What a rip-off.
104
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:55,378
♪ Man smart,
the woman is smarter ♪
105
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:57,005
♪ Man smart,
The woman is smarter ♪
106
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,841
Man, this thing's
really getting out of hand.
107
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,929
Is there anything they won't do?
108
00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:07,432
Homer, this is awful.
109
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,976
Come to think of it,
the guy that sold me this thing
110
00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:12,270
did say the wishes
would bring grave misfortune.
111
00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:14,314
I thought he was
just being colorful.
112
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,441
I wish for world peace.
113
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:20,194
Lisa, that was
very selfish of you!
114
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,242
Sorry about the Falklands,
old boy.
115
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:27,327
Forget it.
116
00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,078
We kind of knew they were yours.
117
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:40,173
Well, won't be needing
these anymore.
118
00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:53,686
♪ Come on, people now,
smile on your brother ♪
119
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:55,396
♪ Everybody get together ♪
120
00:05:55,480 --> 00:06:00,193
♪ Try to love one another
right now ♪
121
00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:02,195
Foolish humans.
122
00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:03,529
Yes, Kodos.
123
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:08,409
Earth is now ripe
for the plucking.
124
00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:25,593
People of Earth,
125
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:29,389
we come to you in the spirit
of hostility and menace.
126
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,099
Now, let's be reasonable.
127
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,822
We can resolve our
differences peacefully.
128
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,019
Your superior intellect
129
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,522
is no match
for our puny weapons.
130
00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:38,916
Gordon, you've got
to do something.
131
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,400
What do you want me to do?
132
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:41,609
I'm a baker now.
133
00:06:41,692 --> 00:06:43,069
They conquered us with a club.
134
00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:44,612
Wish we'd saved an A-bomb
or two.
135
00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:46,072
Move along humans.
136
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,283
This is all the Simpsons' fault.
137
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,095
Before I was just
bored with their antics
and their merchandise.
138
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,287
Now I wish they were dead.
139
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,665
Geez, now we're slaves.
This paw sucks.
140
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:58,292
Okay, okay, I'll make
a wish that can't backfire.
141
00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:00,294
I wish for a turkey sandwich
142
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,295
on rye bread
143
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:03,047
with lettuce and mustard
144
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,925
and... and I don't want
any zombie turkeys.
145
00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:08,386
I don't want to turn
into a turkey myself
146
00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:11,722
and I don't want any other
weird surprises, you got it?
147
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:15,518
Hey!
148
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,480
Not bad.
149
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,481
Nice hot mustard...
150
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:21,607
good bread...
151
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,526
turkey's a little dry...
152
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,611
The turkey's a little dry?!
153
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,905
Foul the cursed thing!
154
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,658
What demon
from the depths of hell
155
00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:31,741
created thee?
156
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:33,744
Hey, fellow slave.
157
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,621
Is that one of
those monkey paw dealies
158
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,415
that lets you wish for things?
159
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,208
Yeah, but I got to warn you
160
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,334
that this thing is...
161
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,378
Yeah, that's what it is.
162
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,880
You want to try it?
163
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,047
Okely-dokely.
164
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,967
Ooh, would you look at that.
165
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,427
Aahh!
166
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:52,221
Kneel before my slingshot,
puny earthling!
167
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,098
Well, I guess my first wish
168
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:56,309
is to get rid
of those awful aliens.
169
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,978
Aahh! He's got a board
with a nail in it!
170
00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,730
Enslave humanity, will ya?!
171
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,190
Run, Kodos!
172
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,860
Ha-ha-ha!
173
00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:09,197
Well, Kang, it seems
the earthlings won.
174
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,865
Did they?
175
00:08:10,948 --> 00:08:13,701
That board with the nail in it
may have defeated us,
176
00:08:13,784 --> 00:08:15,328
but the humans won't stop there.
177
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:17,747
They'll make bigger boards
and bigger nails.
178
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:20,833
Soon they will make
a board with a nail so big
179
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,919
it will destroy them all!
180
00:08:33,137 --> 00:08:34,388
Hey, Homer,
181
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:36,349
this little thingumajig
really works great.
182
00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:38,392
Now that I've saved the earth,
183
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,236
maybe I ought to spruce up
the old homestead.
184
00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:44,440
I wish I had a monkey's paw.
185
00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:48,945
Bart?
186
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,238
Bart?
187
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,114
What's the matter?
188
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,324
I had a bad dream.
189
00:08:53,407 --> 00:08:54,784
Could I sleep in your bed?
190
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,327
No.
191
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:58,538
I'll give you a candy necklace.
192
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:03,834
Climb aboard.
193
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:06,420
Thanks, Bart.
194
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:08,130
Less talk, more sleep.
195
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:15,763
Presented for
your consideration:
196
00:09:15,846 --> 00:09:18,015
Springfield...
An average little town
197
00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:20,184
with a not-so-average monster.
198
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:22,603
Happy thoughts.
Happy, happy, happy...
199
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:25,565
The people of Springfield
have to make sure
200
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:28,526
they think happy thoughts
and say happy things
201
00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:30,444
because this particular monster
202
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:31,528
can read minds,
203
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,197
and if displeased
204
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:36,659
can turn people into
grotesque walking terrors.
205
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,327
Happy thoughts.
Happy thoughts.
206
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,621
Boy, I'm getting
mighty sick of this.
207
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:43,666
Ruff, ruff, ruff. Bow-wow.
208
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:46,377
And did I mention
209
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:48,838
that the monster
is a ten-year-old boy?
210
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,381
Quite a twist?
211
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:52,633
Betcha didn't see
that one coming.
212
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,343
Good morning.
213
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:57,388
- Morning.
- Good morning, dear.
214
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:00,808
Hiya, Bart.
How's my boy?
215
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,562
Every day, same old cat.
216
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:07,356
I'll make him more interesting.
217
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,780
There. That's better.
218
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,115
Much better.
219
00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:18,826
Good, the curtains are on fire.
220
00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:21,912
It's good that you made
that awful thing, Bart.
221
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,414
It's real good.
222
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:25,082
Hadn't you better
get ready for school?
223
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,418
Okay.
224
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:30,421
He gets it from your side
of the family, you know.
225
00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,173
No monsters on my side.
226
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:35,676
- Hi, guys.
- Aahh!
227
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,095
Hi, Otto.
Move over, I'm driving.
228
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,597
No can do, little buddy.
229
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,015
See, there's a rule...
230
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:43,100
Wait.
You're the little dude
231
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:44,977
with all the gnarly powers.
232
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,107
Quit riding the brake, Otto.
233
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,651
Give it some gas, man.
234
00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:53,944
Hey, this is fun, isn't it?
235
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,364
We're going to die, aren't we?
236
00:10:57,865 --> 00:10:59,700
Hiya, Bart!
237
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:02,745
Well, class,
238
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:05,706
the history of our country
has been changed again
239
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,875
to correspond
with Bart's answers
on yesterday's test.
240
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:12,463
America was now discovered
in 1942 by...
241
00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:14,340
"some guy"
242
00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:17,218
and our country
isn't called America anymore.
243
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:18,719
It's Bonerland.
244
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:21,806
Your attention, please.
245
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:23,766
This is Principal Skinner.
246
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,768
Bart, this one's for you.
247
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:28,813
♪ Hello, my baby ♪
248
00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:30,398
♪ Hello, my honey ♪
249
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:32,066
♪ Hello, my ragtime gal ♪
250
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:33,484
♪ Send me your kiss... ♪
251
00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:35,361
Phone.
252
00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:38,239
Happy thoughts,
happy thoughts...
253
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:40,408
Moe's Tavern.
254
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:42,243
Hold on. I'll check.
255
00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:43,869
Hey, everybody.
256
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,162
I'm a stupid moron
257
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,665
with an ugly face and a big butt
258
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:51,544
and my butt smells and
I like to kiss my own butt.
259
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:55,297
That's a new one!
260
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,174
Wait a minute.
261
00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:03,848
One more time.
262
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,600
♪ Hello, my baby ♪
263
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:08,324
♪ Hello, my honey,
hello, my ragtime gal ♪
264
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:09,603
Double time now.
265
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,272
I love school.
266
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,877
Come on, come on.
Make it, make it, make it.
267
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:17,820
Please, please, please.
268
00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:19,488
I want to watch Krusty.
269
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,572
Shut up, boy.
270
00:12:20,614 --> 00:12:21,633
If they make this field goal,
271
00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:22,658
I win 50 bucks.
272
00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:26,912
The kick is up.
273
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:28,664
It's looking good.
274
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,959
The ball is turning into
a fat, bald guy.
275
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:33,794
Aahh! oof!
276
00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,714
And it's no good,
and you know what we say
277
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:38,507
every time
something strange happens...
278
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,760
It's good that Bart did that.
279
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:42,136
It's very good.
280
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,766
Well, we're still on.
281
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,559
346 consecutive hours
282
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:52,563
and all because of
one little boy who...
283
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:55,775
Who won't let me stop!
284
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:59,153
Anyway, now let's go over
and see if Sideshow Mel
285
00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:01,155
has any more of those legal
286
00:13:01,238 --> 00:13:03,949
over-the-counter
wake-up drugs of his.
287
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,373
Slowly, slowly.
288
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,834
Don't make a sound.
Don't even think
289
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,544
because he can
hear your thoughts.
290
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,671
Then, when he's least
expecting it
291
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:19,048
bash his head in with a chair.
292
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:20,466
End of monster.
293
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:26,639
Bart!
294
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:27,890
Lisa did it.
295
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,266
That's it, young man.
296
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:31,310
You're coming with me.
297
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:32,686
Please?
298
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:36,190
You like attention
don't you, Bart?
299
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:37,274
Do I ever.
300
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,859
Well, we all do.
301
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,212
The problem is that
you don't care
302
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,029
whether you get
good attention for, say,
303
00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:43,531
getting high marks in school
304
00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,199
or bad attention for, say,
305
00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:47,743
turning your father into
a Jack-in-the-box.
306
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,787
Homer, I see you agree
with my theory.
307
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:51,789
I'm not nodding.
It's the air conditioning.
308
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,499
Well, that's too bad because
309
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:55,793
the attention the boy craves
should be coming from you.
310
00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:58,254
I want you to spend some
quality time with him.
311
00:13:58,337 --> 00:13:59,797
Get to know him.
312
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,131
Maybe even love him.
313
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:05,928
D'
314
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:08,597
Whoa.
315
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,987
Eeyii!
316
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:30,786
Good night, son.
317
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,496
Good night, Dad.
318
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:36,000
You know, these last few days
have been really swell.
319
00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,894
I wish there was something
I could do to repay you.
320
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:41,839
Well, if you wanted to,
you could give me my body back.
321
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:42,965
You got it.
322
00:14:44,925 --> 00:14:47,803
Hey, hey.
323
00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:50,180
Thanks, boy.
324
00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,724
I love you, Dad.
325
00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:53,767
I love you, son.
326
00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:59,023
Aaaaaaaaahhh!
327
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,279
Mom! Dad!
328
00:15:05,362 --> 00:15:07,031
My goodness!
What's wrong?
329
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:08,449
We both had nightmares.
330
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:09,533
Can we sleep with you?
331
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,201
You both toilet trained?
332
00:15:11,285 --> 00:15:12,828
- Yes!
- Well, okay, then.
333
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,706
4:00?
334
00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:18,876
Couple hours, I have
to get up and go to work.
335
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,419
Got to go to work.
336
00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:21,837
Go to work...
337
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:25,090
Ooh, look at them, Smithers...
338
00:15:25,174 --> 00:15:26,342
Goldbrickers,
339
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:27,801
lay abouts,
340
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:28,885
slugabeds.
341
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,638
Little do they realize
342
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,599
their days of suckling
at my teat are numbered.
343
00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:38,854
In the meantime, sir,
may I suggest a random firing,
344
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,373
just to throw
the fear of God into them?
345
00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:42,149
Very well.
346
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:44,860
Eeny, meeny, miny... Him!
347
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,029
Attention, Homer Simpson.
348
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,949
Attention, Homer Simpson.
349
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:51,116
Wake up, Homer.
350
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,743
What? What?
351
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,453
- You're fired.
- For what?
352
00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:55,746
For sleeping on the job.
353
00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:57,414
How did you know I was sleeping?
354
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,041
We've been watching you
355
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,143
on the surveillance camera.
356
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,919
Camera?
D-
357
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:03,128
Smithers.
358
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,588
To the laboratory.
359
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:12,096
You know, Smithers
360
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:14,515
I've always despised
the laziness
361
00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:15,891
of the common worker.
362
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,477
Then I realized
his spirit was willing
363
00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:19,937
but the flesh was weak.
364
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,605
So I replaced the flesh,
which is weak,
365
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:23,399
with steel, which is strong.
366
00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:24,900
Behold!
367
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,319
The greatest breakthrough
in labor relations
368
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,779
since the cat o' nine tails!
369
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,910
How long till it's
up and running, sir?
370
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,704
Keep your pants on, Smithers.
371
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:37,913
First we need...
372
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,833
a human brain.
373
00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:43,252
Hey, here's a good job, Dad.
374
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:44,837
Wait. You have to know
how to operate
375
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:45,939
an ultrasonic lithontriptor.
376
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:47,381
How hard can it be?
377
00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:48,882
Hey, Dad, here's one.
378
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,927
$28 an hour, plenty of fresh air
379
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,680
and you get to meet
lots of interesting people.
380
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:56,348
Ooh, what job is that?
381
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:58,225
Gravedigger.
382
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:05,607
Deeper, wider, faster.
383
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,943
I wouldn't bury my turtle
in that mud puddle.
384
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,236
What's the use?
385
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:11,530
Sheesh!
What a slave driver.
386
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:23,751
What corpse
should we unearth, sir?
387
00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:25,461
I don't know.
388
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,796
I feel like a kid
in a candy store.
389
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,631
Hello!
390
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,091
An open grave.
391
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:33,010
Smithers, get him out quickly.
392
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:34,678
The stench is overpowering.
393
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:37,473
Wait a minute, sir.
That's Homer Simpson.
394
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,099
He wasn't exactly
a model employee.
395
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,518
Well, who is a model...
396
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:42,644
employee?
397
00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:46,178
Simpson will do just fine, sir.
398
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,486
Did you hear that, sir?
399
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:51,737
No, I didn't.
400
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:53,405
Who is it, Frankenstein?
401
00:17:53,489 --> 00:17:55,032
The Boogerman?
402
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,743
It's the man in the bag, sir.
I think he's alive.
403
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:00,204
Bad corpse. Bad corpse.
404
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:02,790
Stop scaring Smithers.
405
00:18:02,873 --> 00:18:03,916
Satisfied?
406
00:18:03,999 --> 00:18:05,417
Thank you, sir.
407
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,843
Excellent.
408
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,262
Smithers, hand me
that ice cream scoop.
409
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,263
Ice cream scoop?
410
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,099
Damn it, Smithers!
411
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:22,893
This isn't rocket science,
it's brain surgery!
412
00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:24,228
All right.
413
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:26,897
♪♪
414
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,232
Hello...
415
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,359
look at me... I'm Davy Crockett!
416
00:18:53,423 --> 00:18:55,300
Look, Smithers... a twitch.
417
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:56,969
It's moving!
418
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,512
It's alive!
419
00:18:58,595 --> 00:19:01,849
That fellow at Radio Shack
said I was mad.
420
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:03,642
Well, who's mad now?
421
00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:07,020
Hi, there.
422
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:08,647
I'm your daddy.
423
00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,292
Sprin-kles.
424
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,668
Geraldo Rivera,
425
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:32,087
Madonna, and a diseased yak.
426
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,922
Mom, what's wrong?
427
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,674
It's your father... he's missing.
428
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:37,551
Dad's missing?
Get out of here.
429
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:39,428
He's been gone for two days.
430
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,514
What do you know?
She's right.
431
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:46,518
It wasn't supposed
to be this way.
432
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:49,688
It was supposed to be
a thing of beauty,
433
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:51,398
not this abomination.
434
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,986
Smithers,
I was wrong to play God.
435
00:19:56,069 --> 00:19:58,155
Life is precious,
436
00:19:58,238 --> 00:19:59,907
not a thing to be toyed with.
437
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:02,284
Now take out that brain
and flush it down the toilet.
438
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:03,727
Sir, his family
might appreciate it
439
00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:06,163
if you returned the brain
to his body.
440
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:09,041
Come on. It's 11:45!
441
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:12,544
Smithers when you look at me
442
00:20:12,628 --> 00:20:14,338
with those puppy dog eyes...
443
00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:15,421
All right.
444
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,387
Will you quit your complaining.
445
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,223
Sir, do you know
what this means?
446
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:25,515
He is alive.
447
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:26,975
Ooh, you're right, Smithers.
448
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,810
I guess I owe you a Coke.
449
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,103
And as for you
450
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,980
you clinking, clattering
cacophony
451
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,149
of collagenous cogs
and camshafts...
452
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,233
Take... that!
453
00:20:37,861 --> 00:20:39,238
Aahh!
454
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,405
Run, sir.
455
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:45,410
Every bone... shattered,
456
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:48,247
organs...
leaking vital fluids,
457
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:51,458
a slight headache,
loss of appetite.
458
00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:55,170
Smithers, I'm going to die.
459
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,047
Sir, is there nothing I can do?
460
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:58,131
Well, perhaps.
461
00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:00,259
Smithers, go to my office.
462
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:03,262
In the third drawer
of my desk are...
463
00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:05,806
surgical tools...
and some ether.
464
00:21:05,889 --> 00:21:08,350
Aaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
465
00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:10,143
Did you have a nightmare, Homie?
466
00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:11,395
No, Bart bit me.
467
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:12,980
Hey, man, you were crushing me.
468
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:15,399
I tried to scream,
but my mouth was full of flab.
469
00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:17,526
Got to go shake the dew
off the lily.
470
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:20,487
Aahh!
471
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:23,240
Perhaps you're wondering
why you have two heads.
472
00:21:23,323 --> 00:21:26,118
Well, my body was crushed,
so I had my head grafted onto
473
00:21:26,201 --> 00:21:28,370
your, shall we say, ample frame.
474
00:21:28,453 --> 00:21:30,914
I can wake up.
It's all a dream.
475
00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:32,207
It's just a dream.
476
00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,917
That's right.
477
00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:36,044
It's all a dream...
478
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,963
or is it?
479
00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:46,471
Next week on "The Simpsons"...
480
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,181
Don't forget, Dad.
481
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:49,349
Tonight my class is having
482
00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:50,702
an all-you-can-eat
spaghetti dinner.
483
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:52,144
Spaghetti.
484
00:21:52,227 --> 00:21:53,979
But Homer, tonight's
our reception
485
00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:55,939
for Queen Beatrix
of the Netherlands.
486
00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:57,441
I hate having two heads.
487
00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:01,278
♪♪
488
00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:50,160
Shh!
489
00:22:52,245 --> 00:22:55,123
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