Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:09,687 --> 00:00:12,012
Alright, just a few more feet.
2
00:00:12,168 --> 00:00:14,798
And... here we are, gentlemen,
3
00:00:15,008 --> 00:00:16,786
the Gates of Elzebob.
4
00:00:17,375 --> 00:00:18,473
Good Lord.
5
00:00:18,830 --> 00:00:21,783
Don't panic. This is what the
last 97 hours have been about.
6
00:00:22,183 --> 00:00:24,375
Stay frosty. There's a horde
of armed goblins
7
00:00:24,540 --> 00:00:27,595
on the other side of that gate
guarding the Sword of Asaroth.
8
00:00:27,942 --> 00:00:30,961
Warriors, unsheathe your weapons.
Magic wielders, raise your wands.
9
00:00:31,307 --> 00:00:32,307
Lock and load.
10
00:00:32,488 --> 00:00:33,938
Raj, blow the gates.
11
00:00:34,824 --> 00:00:36,080
Blowing the gates.
12
00:00:36,916 --> 00:00:37,916
Control,
13
00:00:38,162 --> 00:00:40,497
shift... B!
14
00:00:43,146 --> 00:00:45,286
Oh, my God, so many goblins!
15
00:00:46,293 --> 00:00:48,112
Don't just stand there,
slash and move!
16
00:00:48,266 --> 00:00:49,307
Stay in formation!
17
00:00:49,432 --> 00:00:50,906
Leonard, you got one on your tail.
18
00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:53,260
My tail's prehensile--
I'll swat him off.
19
00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:54,554
I got him, Leonard.
20
00:00:54,674 --> 00:00:57,736
Tonight I spice my mead
with goblin blood.
21
00:00:58,389 --> 00:01:00,229
Raj, no, it's a trap!
They're flanking us!
22
00:01:00,484 --> 00:01:01,994
He's got me!
23
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,592
Sheldon, he's got Raj.
Use your sleep spell!
24
00:01:06,929 --> 00:01:09,727
I've got the Sword of Asaroth!
25
00:01:10,985 --> 00:01:12,533
Forget the sword, help Raj!
26
00:01:12,750 --> 00:01:16,203
There is no more Sheldon.
I am the sword master!
27
00:01:16,574 --> 00:01:19,039
- Leonard, look out!
- Damn it, man, we're dying here!
28
00:01:19,201 --> 00:01:20,624
Good-bye, peasants!
29
00:01:21,739 --> 00:01:23,085
The bastard teleported!
30
00:01:25,115 --> 00:01:27,265
He's selling the Sword
of Asaroth on eBay.
31
00:01:28,974 --> 00:01:31,286
You betrayed us for money?
Who are you?
32
00:01:31,623 --> 00:01:32,845
I'm a rogue night elf.
33
00:01:32,980 --> 00:01:34,904
Don't you people read
character descriptions?
34
00:01:35,591 --> 00:01:37,975
Wait, wait!
Somebody just clicked "Buy it now."
35
00:01:38,186 --> 00:01:41,141
I am the sword master!
36
00:02:04,966 --> 00:02:06,281
* sweety.
37
00:02:06,629 --> 00:02:08,849
Anybody want to log on
to Second Life and go swimming?
38
00:02:08,984 --> 00:02:10,555
I just built a virtual pool.
39
00:02:11,484 --> 00:02:14,470
No. I can't look at you
or your avatar right now.
40
00:02:18,799 --> 00:02:20,499
Sounds like your neighbor's home.
41
00:02:22,355 --> 00:02:23,355
Excuse me.
42
00:02:23,790 --> 00:02:25,970
Don't forget the mail you took
accidentally on purpose
43
00:02:26,101 --> 00:02:27,429
as an excuse to talk to her.
44
00:02:27,610 --> 00:02:29,078
Oh, right, right, right.
45
00:02:30,135 --> 00:02:32,716
Stealing snail mail--
very old school. I like it.
46
00:02:34,402 --> 00:02:36,325
Penny,
the mailman, did it again...
47
00:02:37,108 --> 00:02:38,118
Sorry.
48
00:02:38,789 --> 00:02:40,159
Hi, Leonard.
This is Doug.
49
00:02:40,505 --> 00:02:42,010
Doug, this is my neighbor Leonard.
50
00:02:42,184 --> 00:02:43,206
What's up, bro?
51
00:02:45,405 --> 00:02:46,405
Not much...
52
00:02:48,770 --> 00:02:49,770
bro.
53
00:02:50,956 --> 00:02:52,003
Is everything okay?
54
00:02:52,408 --> 00:02:54,426
Yeah, no, I just...
I got your mail again. Here.
55
00:02:55,187 --> 00:02:57,137
Thank you.
I've got to talk to that mailman.
56
00:02:57,299 --> 00:02:59,556
Oh, no, that's probably not
such a good idea.
57
00:03:00,643 --> 00:03:02,861
Civil servants have
a documented propensity
58
00:03:03,001 --> 00:03:05,226
to, you know, snap, so...
59
00:03:06,507 --> 00:03:08,357
Okay. Well, thank you again.
60
00:03:08,519 --> 00:03:09,592
No problem. Bye.
61
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:13,279
Oh, and bye... bro.
62
00:03:21,430 --> 00:03:23,080
Penny for your thoughts.
63
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:25,751
What's the matter?
64
00:03:26,141 --> 00:03:27,141
I'm fine.
65
00:03:27,850 --> 00:03:30,504
Penny's fine.
The guy she's kissing is really fine.
66
00:03:31,767 --> 00:03:34,744
Kissing, what kind of kissing?
Cheeks? Lips? Chaste? French?
67
00:03:36,855 --> 00:03:38,452
What is wrong with you?
68
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:40,964
I'm a romantic.
69
00:03:43,645 --> 00:03:45,652
Don't tell me
that your hopeless infatuation
70
00:03:45,787 --> 00:03:47,354
is devolving into pointless jealousy.
71
00:03:47,669 --> 00:03:50,369
I'm not jealous.
I'm just a little concerned for her.
72
00:03:50,780 --> 00:03:52,609
I didn't like the look of the guy.
73
00:03:52,771 --> 00:03:54,471
Because he looks better than you?
74
00:03:58,183 --> 00:03:59,710
He was kind of dreamy.
75
00:04:00,645 --> 00:04:02,633
At least now you can
retrieve the black box
76
00:04:02,777 --> 00:04:04,446
from the twisted,
smoldering wreckage
77
00:04:04,561 --> 00:04:06,206
that was once your fantasy of dating her
78
00:04:06,416 --> 00:04:08,384
and analyze the data
so that you don't crash
79
00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:10,031
into Geek Mountain again.
80
00:04:11,707 --> 00:04:12,711
I disagree.
81
00:04:12,865 --> 00:04:15,661
Love is not a sprint,
it's a marathon--
82
00:04:15,953 --> 00:04:19,898
a relentless pursuit that only ends
when she falls into your arms...
83
00:04:21,093 --> 00:04:22,971
or hits you with
the pepper spray.
84
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:25,819
I'm done with Penny.
85
00:04:26,495 --> 00:04:29,271
I'm going to be more realistic
and go after someone my own speed.
86
00:04:29,528 --> 00:04:31,304
- Like who?
- I don't know...
87
00:04:31,881 --> 00:04:32,881
Olivia Geiger.
88
00:04:33,089 --> 00:04:36,239
The dietician at the cafeteria
with the limp and the lazy eye?
89
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:40,824
I don't think you have a shot there.
90
00:04:42,528 --> 00:04:45,691
I have noticed that Leslie Winkle
recently started shaving her legs.
91
00:04:45,811 --> 00:04:47,243
Now given that winter is coming,
92
00:04:47,467 --> 00:04:50,042
one can only assume
she's signaling sexual availability.
93
00:04:51,134 --> 00:04:52,939
I don't know.
You guys work in the same lab.
94
00:04:53,479 --> 00:04:55,640
- So?
- There are pitfalls.
95
00:04:55,852 --> 00:04:57,144
Trust me, I know.
96
00:04:57,390 --> 00:05:00,066
When it comes to
sexual harassment law,
97
00:05:00,586 --> 00:05:02,612
I'm a bit of a self-taught expert.
98
00:05:05,357 --> 00:05:07,495
If I were to ask Leslie Winkle out,
99
00:05:07,630 --> 00:05:10,254
it would just be for dinner.
I'm not going to walk into the lab,
100
00:05:10,389 --> 00:05:12,482
ask her to strip naked
and dance for me.
101
00:05:12,722 --> 00:05:14,623
Oh, then you're probably okay.
102
00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:20,521
- Hello, Leslie.
- Hi, Leonard.
103
00:05:20,838 --> 00:05:22,382
I'd like to propose an experiment...
104
00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:24,176
- Goggles, Leonard.
- Right.
105
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:28,258
I would like to propose an experiment.
106
00:05:28,350 --> 00:05:29,363
Hang on.
107
00:05:29,556 --> 00:05:31,691
I'm trying to see how long it
takes a 500-kilowatt
108
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:34,234
oxygen iodine laser to heat up
my Cup a' Noodles.
109
00:05:36,460 --> 00:05:39,132
I've done it. About two seconds.
2.6 for minestrone.
110
00:05:45,988 --> 00:05:47,639
Anyway, I was thinking more
111
00:05:47,759 --> 00:05:50,970
of a bio-social exploration
with a neuro-chemical overlay.
112
00:05:52,968 --> 00:05:54,742
Wait, are you asking me out?
113
00:05:56,201 --> 00:05:58,789
I was going to characterize it
as the modification
114
00:05:58,963 --> 00:06:00,903
of our
colleague-slash-friendship paradigm
115
00:06:01,038 --> 00:06:02,845
with the addition
of a date-like component,
116
00:06:03,021 --> 00:06:05,954
but we don't need to
quibble over terminology.
117
00:06:07,412 --> 00:06:08,874
What sort of experiment?
118
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,669
There's a generally accepted
pattern in this area.
119
00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:13,957
I would pick you up,
take you to a restaurant.
120
00:06:14,131 --> 00:06:16,847
Then we would see a movie,
probably a romantic comedy
121
00:06:16,982 --> 00:06:19,534
featuring the talents
of Hugh Grant or Sandra Bullock.
122
00:06:20,775 --> 00:06:22,333
Interesting.
And would you agree
123
00:06:22,453 --> 00:06:24,929
that the primary way we would
evaluate either the success
124
00:06:25,064 --> 00:06:26,472
or failure of the date would be
125
00:06:26,627 --> 00:06:29,307
based on the biochemical reaction
during the good night kiss?
126
00:06:29,493 --> 00:06:31,193
Heart rate,
pheromones, etc. Yes.
127
00:06:32,488 --> 00:06:34,563
Why don't we just stipulate
that the date goes well
128
00:06:34,708 --> 00:06:36,091
and move to the key variable?
129
00:06:36,621 --> 00:06:38,068
- You mean kiss you now?
- Yes.
130
00:06:38,437 --> 00:06:40,259
Can you define the
parameters of the kiss?
131
00:06:40,350 --> 00:06:41,989
Close-mouthed but romantic.
Mint?
132
00:06:42,255 --> 00:06:43,316
Thank you.
133
00:06:50,496 --> 00:06:51,788
I count down from three?
134
00:06:51,985 --> 00:06:53,950
No, I think it needs
to be spontaneous.
135
00:07:01,772 --> 00:07:03,892
- What do you think?
- You proposed the experiment.
136
00:07:04,065 --> 00:07:06,035
I think you should
present your findings first.
137
00:07:06,610 --> 00:07:07,610
Fair enough.
138
00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:10,580
On the plus side,
it was a good kiss.
139
00:07:10,773 --> 00:07:12,995
Reasonable technique,
no extraneous spittle.
140
00:07:14,795 --> 00:07:16,647
On the other hand, no arousal.
141
00:07:18,095 --> 00:07:19,399
- None?
- None.
142
00:07:24,382 --> 00:07:26,041
- Thank you for your time.
- Thank you.
143
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,200
None at all?
144
00:07:36,970 --> 00:07:38,916
Sheldon,
if you were a robot,
145
00:07:39,364 --> 00:07:41,910
and I knew
and you didn't...
146
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:46,290
...would you want me to tell you?
147
00:07:48,089 --> 00:07:49,089
That depends.
148
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:50,680
When
149
00:07:50,931 --> 00:07:52,397
I learn that I'm a robot...
150
00:07:53,399 --> 00:07:55,249
will I be able to handle it?
151
00:07:56,604 --> 00:08:00,153
Maybe-- although the history
of science fiction is not on your side.
152
00:08:01,287 --> 00:08:03,110
Okay,
let me ask you this--
153
00:08:03,614 --> 00:08:05,566
when I learn that I'm a robot,
154
00:08:05,894 --> 00:08:08,883
would I be bound
by Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics?
155
00:08:10,378 --> 00:08:13,103
You might be bound
by them right now.
156
00:08:16,819 --> 00:08:18,947
That's true.
Have you ever harmed a human being
157
00:08:19,062 --> 00:08:21,377
or through inaction allowed
a human being to come to harm?
158
00:08:21,522 --> 00:08:23,461
- Of course not.
- Have you ever harmed yourself
159
00:08:23,615 --> 00:08:25,032
or allowed yourself to be harmed
160
00:08:25,148 --> 00:08:27,686
except in cases where a human being
would have been endangered?
161
00:08:27,832 --> 00:08:29,723
- Well, no.
- I smell robot.
162
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:34,962
Hey, what's going on?
163
00:08:35,261 --> 00:08:37,211
Internet's been down
for half an hour.
164
00:08:40,072 --> 00:08:41,606
Also, Sheldon may be a robot.
165
00:08:43,927 --> 00:08:45,418
So how'd it go with Leslie?
166
00:08:46,857 --> 00:08:49,683
Oh, we tried kissing,
but the Earth didn't move.
167
00:08:51,178 --> 00:08:54,804
I mean, any more than the 383 miles
that it was going to move anyway.
168
00:08:57,359 --> 00:08:59,291
Oh, I've seen that look before.
169
00:08:59,544 --> 00:09:01,570
This is just going to be
two weeks of moping
170
00:09:01,761 --> 00:09:03,107
and tedious emo songs
171
00:09:03,319 --> 00:09:06,106
and calling me to come down
to pet stores to look at cats.
172
00:09:08,571 --> 00:09:10,051
I don't know if I can take it.
173
00:09:11,119 --> 00:09:12,669
You could power down.
174
00:09:15,654 --> 00:09:17,950
As usual, Wolowitz has the solution.
175
00:09:19,750 --> 00:09:21,098
I happen to know a place
176
00:09:21,272 --> 00:09:24,661
where there are plenty of eligible women
and Leonard could have his pick.
177
00:09:34,886 --> 00:09:36,536
Remember the Latin hips.
178
00:09:37,106 --> 00:09:39,754
Shoulders stay still, and...
we sway.
179
00:09:45,220 --> 00:09:46,570
One, two, three...
180
00:09:48,126 --> 00:09:49,576
...five, six, seven.
181
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,030
I think Mrs. Tishman's
got her eye on you.
182
00:09:54,328 --> 00:09:56,177
I've been there.
You're in for a treat.
183
00:10:11,866 --> 00:10:12,866
Oh, good Lord.
184
00:10:23,658 --> 00:10:25,308
God, that's a good song.
185
00:10:26,369 --> 00:10:28,919
If you're compiling a mix CD
for a double suicide.
186
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:32,969
Oh, I hope
that scratching post is for you.
187
00:10:34,131 --> 00:10:36,783
I know what you're thinking.
I've taken your asthma into account.
188
00:10:36,983 --> 00:10:39,146
There's a feline geneticist
in San Diego
189
00:10:39,301 --> 00:10:42,082
who's developed the cutest
little hypoallergenic calicos.
190
00:10:42,264 --> 00:10:44,304
- Listen to me...
- I've been thinking about names.
191
00:10:44,419 --> 00:10:46,580
I'm kind of torn between
Einstein, Newton
192
00:10:46,753 --> 00:10:48,468
and Sergeant Fuzzy Boots.
193
00:10:49,529 --> 00:10:51,507
Do you really think
you can satisfy your need
194
00:10:51,674 --> 00:10:53,719
for a relationship with
a genetically altered cat?
195
00:10:54,819 --> 00:10:55,819
Maybe.
196
00:10:56,016 --> 00:10:57,977
If it's a cute, little, cuddly cat.
197
00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:00,470
Oh, come on. Leonard...
198
00:11:03,111 --> 00:11:04,751
This is obviously about Penny.
199
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:08,439
It doesn't matter.
200
00:11:08,721 --> 00:11:11,438
The woman's not interested in me.
The woman rejected me.
201
00:11:12,825 --> 00:11:13,867
Look,
202
00:11:14,855 --> 00:11:16,557
I think that you have
as much of a chance
203
00:11:16,731 --> 00:11:18,554
of having a sexual relationship
with Penny
204
00:11:18,708 --> 00:11:20,630
as the Hubble Telescope
does of discovering
205
00:11:20,784 --> 00:11:22,251
at the center of every black hole
206
00:11:22,386 --> 00:11:25,145
is a little man with a flashlight
searching for a circuit breaker.
207
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,363
Nevertheless,
208
00:11:30,088 --> 00:11:32,612
I do feel obligated
to point out to you
209
00:11:33,290 --> 00:11:35,115
that she did not reject you.
210
00:11:35,817 --> 00:11:37,240
You did not ask her out.
211
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,099
You're right.
212
00:11:40,914 --> 00:11:42,734
I didn't ask her out.
I should ask her out.
213
00:11:42,906 --> 00:11:44,765
No, no, that was not my point.
214
00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:47,751
My point was don't buy a cat.
215
00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:50,220
No, but you're right.
216
00:11:50,564 --> 00:11:52,714
I should march over there
and ask her out.
217
00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:55,723
Oh, goody, we're getting a cat.
218
00:12:04,525 --> 00:12:06,669
Good afternoon, Penny.
So, hi... hey.
219
00:12:09,374 --> 00:12:11,234
I was wondering if you
had plans for dinner.
220
00:12:11,485 --> 00:12:12,739
You mean dinner tonight?
221
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,270
There is an inherent ambiguity
in the word "dinner."
222
00:12:16,712 --> 00:12:17,850
Technically it refers
223
00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:20,204
to the largest meal of the day
whenever it's consumed.
224
00:12:20,338 --> 00:12:22,479
So to clarify here,
by dinner I mean supper.
225
00:12:23,151 --> 00:12:24,579
- Supper?
- Or dinner.
226
00:12:26,109 --> 00:12:28,500
I was thinking 6:30 if you can go.
Or a different time.
227
00:12:28,816 --> 00:12:29,858
6:30's great.
228
00:12:30,270 --> 00:12:31,270
Really?
229
00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:35,696
- Great.
- I like hanging out with you guys.
230
00:12:36,029 --> 00:12:37,087
Us guys?
231
00:12:37,395 --> 00:12:39,844
Yeah, you know, Sheldon, Howard, Raj.
Who all's coming?
232
00:12:41,102 --> 00:12:42,125
They...
233
00:12:43,432 --> 00:12:44,802
might all be there.
234
00:12:47,002 --> 00:12:49,067
Or a subset
of them might be there.
235
00:12:49,393 --> 00:12:51,837
Algebraically speaking,
there are too many unknowns.
236
00:12:51,957 --> 00:12:54,034
For example,
Sheldon had Quiznos for lunch.
237
00:12:54,243 --> 00:12:56,611
Sometimes he finds that filling,
other times he doesn't.
238
00:12:56,889 --> 00:12:59,320
It's no fault of Quiznos--
they have a varied menu.
239
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:03,449
Okay, whatever.
It sounds like fun.
240
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:05,174
Great.
241
00:13:05,794 --> 00:13:07,207
- Did we say a time?
- 6:30.
242
00:13:07,404 --> 00:13:09,010
- And that's still good?
- It's fine.
243
00:13:09,203 --> 00:13:11,537
- 'Cause it's not carved in stone.
- No, 6:30's great.
244
00:13:11,983 --> 00:13:13,433
I'll get my chisel.
245
00:13:15,135 --> 00:13:16,196
Why?
246
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:21,647
To... carve the...
I'll see you at 6:30.
247
00:13:33,418 --> 00:13:34,421
How do I look?
248
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,322
Could you be more specific?
249
00:13:43,264 --> 00:13:45,275
Can you tell I'm perspiring a little?
250
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:50,707
No. The dark crescent-shaped patterns
under your arms conceal it nicely.
251
00:13:53,131 --> 00:13:55,041
- What time is your date?
- 6:30.
252
00:13:55,176 --> 00:13:56,392
Perfect. That gives you
253
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,938
two hours and 15 minutes
for that dense molecular cloud
254
00:13:59,155 --> 00:14:00,675
of Aramis to dissipate.
255
00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:02,950
Is it too much?
256
00:14:03,168 --> 00:14:04,846
Not if you're a rugby team.
257
00:14:06,882 --> 00:14:08,210
If it should ever come up,
258
00:14:08,345 --> 00:14:10,274
you didn't join us
because you stuffed yourself
259
00:14:10,429 --> 00:14:12,165
with a chicken carbonara sub
at Quiznos.
260
00:14:12,591 --> 00:14:13,710
Why would I join you?
261
00:14:14,826 --> 00:14:15,826
No reason.
262
00:14:18,830 --> 00:14:21,010
You know what,
maybe this isn't such a good idea.
263
00:14:21,365 --> 00:14:23,757
No, well, now there's
always the possibility
264
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,034
that alcohol and poor judgment
on her part
265
00:14:26,188 --> 00:14:28,523
might lead to a nice
romantic evening.
266
00:14:30,285 --> 00:14:33,256
You're right. Alcohol, poor judgment--
it could go well.
267
00:14:33,828 --> 00:14:35,720
There is the other
possibility, that...
268
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,843
this date kicks off
a rather unpleasant 6 months
269
00:14:37,997 --> 00:14:39,964
of the two of you passing
awkwardly in the hall,
270
00:14:40,121 --> 00:14:42,550
until one of you breaks down and
moves to another zip code.
271
00:14:44,060 --> 00:14:46,414
You could've stopped
at "it could go well."
272
00:14:47,618 --> 00:14:49,265
If I could've, I would've.
273
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:51,623
I mean, I'm a perfectly nice guy.
274
00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:55,193
There's no reason we couldn't go
and have a lovely dinner,
275
00:14:55,564 --> 00:14:57,514
maybe take a walk afterwards,
276
00:14:57,794 --> 00:14:59,954
talk about things we have in common.
277
00:15:00,128 --> 00:15:03,088
You love pottery?
I love pottery!
278
00:15:03,638 --> 00:15:04,998
There's a pause,
279
00:15:05,153 --> 00:15:07,159
we both know what's happening.
I lean in, we kiss.
280
00:15:07,313 --> 00:15:09,416
It's a little tentative at first,
but then I realize
281
00:15:09,619 --> 00:15:11,771
she's kissing me back.
She's biting my lower lip!
282
00:15:11,887 --> 00:15:13,781
She wants me!
This thing is going the distance!
283
00:15:13,929 --> 00:15:16,302
We're going to have sex!
Oh, God, oh, my God!
284
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,442
Is the sex starting now?
285
00:15:22,038 --> 00:15:23,466
I'm having a panic attack.
286
00:15:24,701 --> 00:15:26,301
Well then... calm down.
287
00:15:26,923 --> 00:15:28,805
If I could,
I wouldn't be having a panic...
288
00:15:28,940 --> 00:15:30,738
That's why they call it a panic attack.
289
00:15:31,657 --> 00:15:33,008
Sit down.
290
00:15:33,449 --> 00:15:35,479
Yeah, sit down. Now close your eyes.
291
00:15:35,633 --> 00:15:36,981
- Why?
- Just do it.
292
00:15:37,424 --> 00:15:40,337
Now try to increase
your alpha wave activity.
293
00:15:40,878 --> 00:15:43,404
- What?!
- It's a biofeedback technique.
294
00:15:43,623 --> 00:15:45,613
It's relaxation through
brain wave manipulation.
295
00:15:45,866 --> 00:15:48,273
I read a paper about it
in Journal of American Neuroscience.
296
00:15:48,393 --> 00:15:51,305
It was a little sparsely sourced,
but I think the basic science is valid.
297
00:15:51,460 --> 00:15:52,952
I probably have it here somewhere.
298
00:15:53,803 --> 00:15:55,732
Who am I kidding?
I can't go through with this.
299
00:15:55,887 --> 00:15:57,314
You need to call her and cancel.
300
00:15:57,469 --> 00:15:58,588
- Me?
- Yes.
301
00:15:58,723 --> 00:16:01,186
- What should I tell her?
- I don't know. Tell her I'm sick.
302
00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:04,765
Not an illness that will make her
want to take care of me,
303
00:16:04,919 --> 00:16:07,104
but nothing so critical
that she'll feel uncomfortable
304
00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:09,317
going out with me
if I want to try this again.
305
00:16:09,452 --> 00:16:11,918
Got it.
So I'm assuming nothing venereal?
306
00:16:16,737 --> 00:16:19,075
I'll just tell her
that you had a routine colonoscopy
307
00:16:19,195 --> 00:16:20,585
and haven't quite bounced back.
308
00:16:21,590 --> 00:16:23,809
- Give me the phone.
- I thought you wanted to cancel.
309
00:16:23,986 --> 00:16:26,687
I can't, because if I don't show up
she'll still be expecting you.
310
00:16:27,501 --> 00:16:29,144
Why would she be expecting me?
311
00:16:30,437 --> 00:16:32,120
Stop asking me all these questions.
312
00:16:32,293 --> 00:16:34,157
I need to take another shower.
313
00:16:37,533 --> 00:16:39,346
So are the rest of the guys
meeting us here?
314
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:40,958
Oh, yeah... no.
315
00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:45,639
It turns out that Raj
and Howard had to work, and Sheldon...
316
00:16:46,226 --> 00:16:49,313
had a colonoscopy and he hasn't
quite bounced back yet.
317
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,276
My uncle just had a colonoscopy.
318
00:16:53,533 --> 00:16:54,555
You're kidding.
319
00:16:54,729 --> 00:16:57,016
Then that's something
we have in common.
320
00:16:58,156 --> 00:16:59,156
How?
321
00:16:59,961 --> 00:17:02,543
We both have people
in our lives who...
322
00:17:02,859 --> 00:17:05,800
want to nip intestinal polyps
in the bud.
323
00:17:12,293 --> 00:17:14,243
So what's new in
the world of physics?
324
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:16,535
Nothing.
325
00:17:18,133 --> 00:17:19,328
Really? Nothing?
326
00:17:19,645 --> 00:17:22,356
Well, with the exception
of string theory,
327
00:17:22,530 --> 00:17:25,019
not much has happened
since the 1930s.
328
00:17:25,288 --> 00:17:26,881
And you can't prove string theory.
329
00:17:27,057 --> 00:17:28,298
At best you can say,
330
00:17:28,549 --> 00:17:32,090
"Hey, look, my idea
has an internal logical consistency."
331
00:17:35,205 --> 00:17:37,263
Well, I'm sure things will pick up.
332
00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:43,398
What's new at the Cheesecake Factory?
333
00:17:45,052 --> 00:17:46,190
Not much.
334
00:17:46,423 --> 00:17:49,596
We do have a chocolate key lime
that's moving pretty well.
335
00:17:51,032 --> 00:17:52,032
Good.
336
00:17:52,882 --> 00:17:53,882
Good.
337
00:17:57,337 --> 00:17:58,887
What about your...
338
00:17:59,941 --> 00:18:01,155
hallway friend?
339
00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:03,977
Doug?
Oh, yeah, I don't know.
340
00:18:04,131 --> 00:18:06,283
I mean, you know,
he's nice and funny, but...
341
00:18:06,514 --> 00:18:08,270
Can I get you started with some drinks?
342
00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:11,718
- You were saying? But...
- I'd like a drink.
343
00:18:11,978 --> 00:18:15,241
Just say the "but" thing about Doug
and then I'll get her back.
344
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:18,769
I don't know, it's just me.
345
00:18:18,945 --> 00:18:21,195
I'm still getting over
this breakup with Kurt
346
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,877
and this thing with Doug
would just be rebound sex.
347
00:18:25,477 --> 00:18:27,638
Don't get me started
on rebound sex.
348
00:18:29,279 --> 00:18:30,868
It's just... it's my pattern.
349
00:18:30,988 --> 00:18:33,257
I break up,
then I find some cute guy,
350
00:18:33,411 --> 00:18:36,436
and then it's just 36
meaningless hours of...
351
00:18:37,167 --> 00:18:38,208
you know.
352
00:18:40,408 --> 00:18:41,622
I'm not sure that I do.
353
00:18:43,411 --> 00:18:46,468
Is that one 36-hour experience,
354
00:18:46,614 --> 00:18:48,949
or is that 36 hours
spread out over, say...
355
00:18:49,122 --> 00:18:51,005
one glorious summer?
356
00:18:51,844 --> 00:18:53,297
No, it's usually over a weekend,
357
00:18:53,452 --> 00:18:55,960
and trust me, you do not feel
good after it.
358
00:18:56,582 --> 00:18:58,319
Well, chafing, right?
359
00:19:00,032 --> 00:19:01,032
Emotionally.
360
00:19:01,284 --> 00:19:03,399
Of course, yeah,
emotional chafing.
361
00:19:11,175 --> 00:19:12,661
Do you want to see something cool?
362
00:19:14,785 --> 00:19:17,160
I can make this olive
go into this glass
363
00:19:17,403 --> 00:19:18,734
without touching it.
364
00:19:19,419 --> 00:19:21,251
- How?
- Physics.
365
00:19:27,746 --> 00:19:29,155
Centrifugal force.
366
00:19:29,528 --> 00:19:31,612
Actually, it's centripetal force,
367
00:19:31,814 --> 00:19:34,299
which is an inward force
generated by the glass
368
00:19:34,472 --> 00:19:35,988
acting on the olive...
369
00:19:37,207 --> 00:19:38,307
Excuse me.
370
00:19:38,627 --> 00:19:41,463
If you were riding
on the olive,
371
00:19:41,816 --> 00:19:43,822
you'd be in a non-inertial
reference frame
372
00:19:44,092 --> 00:19:45,250
and would...
373
00:19:46,906 --> 00:19:48,883
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
374
00:19:50,710 --> 00:19:52,180
Did you spill ketchup?
375
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:53,788
- No.
- I'm not okay.
376
00:19:56,867 --> 00:19:58,950
You sure you don't want to go
to the emergency room?
377
00:19:59,085 --> 00:20:01,227
No, I'm okay.
It stopped bleeding.
378
00:20:01,782 --> 00:20:04,804
I know, but you did throw up.
Isn't that a sign of a concussion?
379
00:20:04,997 --> 00:20:07,019
Yes.
But I get car sick, too, so...
380
00:20:09,607 --> 00:20:11,267
Sorry about
your car, by the way.
381
00:20:12,105 --> 00:20:14,517
It's fine.
You got most of it out the window.
382
00:20:15,859 --> 00:20:17,260
The poor guy on the bike.
383
00:20:20,318 --> 00:20:21,584
I had a nice time.
384
00:20:21,876 --> 00:20:23,130
Yeah, me, too.
385
00:20:24,450 --> 00:20:25,627
Well, um, good night.
386
00:20:26,522 --> 00:20:27,583
Good night.
387
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:33,234
Was this supposed to be a date?
388
00:20:34,272 --> 00:20:35,323
This?
389
00:20:36,576 --> 00:20:37,576
No.
390
00:20:40,223 --> 00:20:42,287
Of course not.
This was just you and me
391
00:20:42,461 --> 00:20:44,535
hanging out with a bunch of guys
who didn't show up
392
00:20:44,699 --> 00:20:46,826
'cause of work and a colonoscopy.
393
00:20:48,850 --> 00:20:50,181
Okay, I was just checking.
394
00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:53,475
When I take a girl on a date--
395
00:20:53,797 --> 00:20:54,797
and I do--
396
00:20:57,086 --> 00:20:58,996
she knows she's been dated.
397
00:21:00,910 --> 00:21:02,085
Capital D.
398
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,665
Boldface. Underlined.
Da...ted.
399
00:21:08,812 --> 00:21:10,555
I think I might have
a little concussion.
400
00:21:10,675 --> 00:21:13,035
I'm gonna go lie down for a while.
Good night.
401
00:21:16,986 --> 00:21:18,591
So, how was your date?
402
00:21:19,241 --> 00:21:20,241
Awesome!
403
00:21:24,543 --> 00:21:26,892
Score 1 for liquor and poor jugement.
30070
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.