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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,799 The patterns of chaos do force me to conclude 2 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,840 two distinct worlds fight for my spirit. 3 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:41,200 One where I am mighty. The other where I am weak. 4 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:43,999 And how clear now it is. 5 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,800 I must destroy my feeble self. 6 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,319 Only then can I be free. 7 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:50,639 A sorcerer. 8 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:55,040 A king to waltz with the dangers of the enchanted realm. 9 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,720 The infinite, oh, infinite colour. 10 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,880 Then, and only then 11 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,950 will I live forever. 12 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,760 Amy! 13 00:01:12,901 --> 00:01:14,301 Amy! 14 00:01:14,579 --> 00:01:15,979 Amy! 15 00:01:58,240 --> 00:01:59,840 Oh, not again. 16 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:07,759 Monkey! Monkey! 17 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,759 - Look! - You're soaking wet. 18 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,359 I've done it. I've worked it out. 19 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,759 - What have you worked out? - The middle section. The curse. 20 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,839 - What? - And, I made us breakfast. 21 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,400 I picked loads of berries. 22 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,679 Berry, ber... Monkey! Monkey! 23 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,839 - What? - Berry, berry, berry nice. 24 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,879 - Yeah. That's great. - Berry healthy. Berry tasty. 25 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,479 - Berry b-berry - Lovely. 26 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:26,759 - Monkey? - What! 27 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:29,279 ♪ B-b-b-berry, berry. Would you like some berries ♪ 28 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:30,719 ♪ I love you berry much ♪ 29 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,239 ♪ Would you like some berry, b-berry, b-berry, b-berry ♪ 30 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,239 ♪ Berry, berry, berry, berry nice ♪ 31 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:36,439 ♪ Berry nutritious ♪ 32 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:37,799 ♪ Berry in your belly ♪ 33 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:39,719 ♪ Belly in your berry, it's berry nutritious ♪ 34 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:40,879 Maurice, why are you here? 35 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,159 - Why won't you answer the phone? - Because every time we try to talk 36 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:45,119 - you just start getting angry. - I start getting angry? 37 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:46,359 Maurice, what do you want? 38 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,512 - I'm looking for Shun. - He's eating a pastry. 39 00:02:48,513 --> 00:02:50,799 Pastry. Mm, that's nice. What kind of pastry is it? 40 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:51,719 Why does that matter? 41 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,079 Is it an almond pastry? Is it a croissant? 42 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:54,959 - What kind of pastry is it? Shun! - Maurice, are you gonna explain 43 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,799 why you're here? Or are you just gonna keep pretending 44 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,679 it's 'cause you want to know what sort of pastry Shun's eating? 45 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,279 Why won't he come home? 46 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,999 He's just staying here a couple of days to sleep everything off. 47 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,719 - I'm coming in. - No, no, no. Stop that! 48 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,319 - Please, Deborah, out of the way. - No! This is my house! 49 00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,039 - Yeah, well, my friend is in there - Fuck off! 50 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,639 - And you're holding him prisoner. Shun! - What are you talking about? 51 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,519 Come on! Let's get, let's go. I wanna talk to you. 52 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:12,799 I'm eating a chocolate. 53 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,999 - Yeah, put the chocolate down. - Chocolate delight. 54 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,681 Put the pastry down and get dressed. Come on. 55 00:03:17,682 --> 00:03:20,639 I will talk with Carol about you hippopotamus! 56 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:23,839 - It's a little bit late for that, Shun. - I promise. Never will drink again! 57 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,519 I will not even have tiny quaff. 58 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,959 Not even tiny grape in case turn into wine in my stomach! 59 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,559 It's just interesting this is where you run to. 60 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:31,159 Oh, Maurice, you're being ridiculous. 61 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,370 If you want to be angry with me just be angry with me. 62 00:03:33,371 --> 00:03:35,879 - Don't take it out on Shun. - I'm not angry with you. 63 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:37,439 - Yes, you are. - I'm not. 64 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:38,839 Sit down and eat your breakfast. Just ignore him. 65 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,079 You're the one who's angry. 66 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,256 Seducing literally hundreds of poor vulnerable men 67 00:03:42,257 --> 00:03:43,719 like some puffed-up Agony Aunt. 68 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,079 - What? - Condoms bloody everywhere, I hear. 69 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:46,679 Maurice, if I'd been sleeping with hundreds of men 70 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,439 I would be dead from exhaustion. 71 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:49,799 At least I've got some dignity. 72 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,079 What's dignified about barging in here and shouting at Shun about a pastry? 73 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:54,959 Well, it's too big, isn't it? It's not a pastry, 74 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,999 it's a fucking loaf of bread! What are you feeding him? 75 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,099 And what the hell is that doing out? Like some sordid trophy? 76 00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:02,479 - I have a reading this evening. - Oh, you have a reading. 77 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,599 Did it not occur to you how this might come across to people? 78 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,199 Hmm? What were you fucking thinking? 79 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:10,039 And, for the record, Dr Malone thinks I'm handling all of this really well 80 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,159 considering I've got a major depressive disorder 81 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,915 and abandonment issues because my father ran off and drowned 82 00:04:14,916 --> 00:04:17,679 - when I was a little boy! - Oh, stop talking about how sad you are. 83 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:19,279 It's not sadness, it's a disease! 84 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:21,759 I know that. Shun, what are you doing? 85 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,719 Be careful with that. Put it down. 86 00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:25,959 Fucking idiot. 87 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,439 - Too much shouting all the way. - Just come this way. 88 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,520 - Go and get dressed, Shun. - Why you come here? 89 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,040 Look, the truth is I always thought you were a... 90 00:04:41,626 --> 00:04:44,985 kind, interesting, selfless... 91 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:49,439 man, just trying to break free from this fog of whatever it is you want to call it. 92 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:52,359 - Major depressive disorder. - We'll just call it depression, Maurice, 93 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,320 it's not a Nobel Prize. 94 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,559 You got no idea what it's like, have you? No idea! 95 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,399 I met a lot of people while writing this book 96 00:04:58,400 --> 00:04:59,838 who have suffered an awful lot more than you. 97 00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:01,135 What's worse than wanting to die? 98 00:05:01,136 --> 00:05:03,879 - Being dead for instance. - You've met some dead people, have you? 99 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,439 - You've really lost the plot now. - What I've discovered, Maurice, 100 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,439 if you'll let me finish, is you are not a kind, 101 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,200 interesting, selfless, beautiful man. 102 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,280 Well, you are, a bit. 103 00:05:14,758 --> 00:05:16,331 But you're also... 104 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:21,240 just quite boring a lot of the time. 105 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,039 Hi, Mum. Hope you're alright. 106 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:31,119 Just calling to say that Hylda and I are coming to your reading thing tonight. 107 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,999 Even though, obviously, I still don't approve of it. 108 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,881 Just thought it'd be sad if no one came. Okay! 109 00:05:35,882 --> 00:05:39,319 And I also wanted to ask you something about grandad Felix. 110 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,039 Do you think he was mad? Oh, and someone called Wendy. 111 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:45,279 And some paintings about a cursed family called the Baumgaertners. 112 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:48,440 Have you listened to my thing yet? Anyway, see you later, bye! 113 00:05:55,815 --> 00:05:58,516 - Hey. What's up, ladies? - Good morning. 114 00:05:58,517 --> 00:05:59,952 - Hey! - Nice shorts. 115 00:05:59,953 --> 00:06:01,899 - Are you alright? - Yeah. Never better. 116 00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,859 It's gotta be done, eh, Shunny Boy? 117 00:06:03,860 --> 00:06:06,659 Just run one hundred meter, already he's completely exhausted. 118 00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:09,980 What? So how's it going with... 119 00:06:10,380 --> 00:06:12,403 AUMSK? 120 00:06:12,404 --> 00:06:13,619 You mean Omsk. 121 00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:15,180 It's good. We're, erm... 122 00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:17,417 We're just trying to interpret these scores. 123 00:06:17,418 --> 00:06:18,625 Right. 124 00:06:18,626 --> 00:06:19,939 Cool. 125 00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:22,341 - Your daughter's mental. - Yeah. 126 00:06:22,342 --> 00:06:23,743 Morning! 127 00:06:23,744 --> 00:06:27,259 - Is everyone ready? - Er, no, not really. 128 00:06:27,260 --> 00:06:28,899 We just woke up, Amy. 129 00:06:28,900 --> 00:06:30,019 I went for a swim. 130 00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:31,379 I went for a swim, and I cracked it like a coconut! 131 00:06:31,380 --> 00:06:32,659 That's good. 132 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:34,379 - Really good. - Is your eye okay? 133 00:06:34,380 --> 00:06:35,779 Yeah, it's just hay fever. 134 00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:37,379 Dad, do you know where the eye drops are? 135 00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:38,619 Ah, no, I don't know. 136 00:06:38,620 --> 00:06:40,419 Your mother likes to hide things like that 137 00:06:40,420 --> 00:06:42,539 - in all sorts of illogical places. - Guys, I'll see you there! 138 00:06:42,540 --> 00:06:44,660 I'm gonna go through the corn! Whoo! 139 00:06:45,528 --> 00:06:46,968 Baumgaertners! 140 00:06:56,260 --> 00:06:58,499 Come to think of it, strange decision to write a book 141 00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,299 about someone so boring in the first place. 142 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,979 Can I speak to Amy, please? 143 00:07:01,980 --> 00:07:04,021 Er, bit of bad news there actually. 144 00:07:04,022 --> 00:07:07,419 Amy's died. I talked to her by mistake and bored her to death. 145 00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:09,419 - Sorry about that. - Maurice, stop being so stupid. 146 00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:11,061 Stupid? I thought I was just boring. 147 00:07:11,062 --> 00:07:13,219 - Make your mind up. - Can I speak to Amy, please? 148 00:07:13,220 --> 00:07:15,299 I just, I thought, maybe she seemed a bit off. 149 00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:18,219 Yeah, or maybe, Deborah, she's just flourishing, 150 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:22,115 because her neurotic mother's not there to stifle her by constantly begging 151 00:07:22,116 --> 00:07:25,019 for attention with passive-aggressive gestures of good will 152 00:07:25,020 --> 00:07:28,259 which are quite obviously born of some pathological desire to be needed, 153 00:07:28,260 --> 00:07:32,339 of which, by the way, your ridiculous and destructive book is a perfect example. 154 00:07:32,340 --> 00:07:33,699 An Evening With Deborah Green. 155 00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:35,261 Shove it up your arse! 156 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,739 Way to win back the love of your life, Dad. 157 00:07:44,740 --> 00:07:45,899 Donald, 158 00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:47,499 it... Listen. 159 00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:50,219 When you've been with someone as long as we've been together, you'll understand. 160 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,259 Understand what? 161 00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:53,659 That telling someone who's just spent ages writing a really thoughtful book 162 00:07:53,660 --> 00:07:55,619 to shove it up their arse is a good idea. 163 00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:57,739 No. Just that everything dies. 164 00:07:57,740 --> 00:08:00,779 And that includes relationships. 165 00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:03,300 - What's the point in getting married then? - I don't know. 166 00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:05,495 Good point. 167 00:08:05,496 --> 00:08:07,216 Eat more happy pills! 168 00:08:07,217 --> 00:08:08,499 Donald, that's not how they work. 169 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:11,421 When I get married, I'm not gonna stand around in my tiny blue pants. 170 00:08:11,422 --> 00:08:13,819 I'm gonna make dang sure that I do everything in my power to guarantee 171 00:08:13,820 --> 00:08:15,659 that they love me until they die. 172 00:08:15,660 --> 00:08:18,259 Obviously, they'll die first because of my immaculate immune system, 173 00:08:18,260 --> 00:08:20,099 but until then, by God. 174 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,539 Maybe when you've had a bit more experience, 175 00:08:22,540 --> 00:08:24,939 you might have a more measured view of what love actually means, 176 00:08:24,940 --> 00:08:28,541 because, you know, we all like to think of love as this huge, 177 00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:33,099 beautiful thing that sweeps you along, but actually it's not that. 178 00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:36,779 It's co-ordinating diaries, and washing dishes together, and... 179 00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:37,779 Yeah, okay. Bye. 180 00:08:37,780 --> 00:08:40,099 I'm trying to teach you a valuable lesson about life! 181 00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:41,540 You're boring, mate! 182 00:10:07,220 --> 00:10:10,331 No! No, no, no, stop! 183 00:10:10,332 --> 00:10:12,895 - It's still not right. - Fuck's sake, Lightning. 184 00:10:12,896 --> 00:10:15,181 What's the matter now? Why have we stopped? 185 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:17,992 Because Bertha's got this amazing eye, right? 186 00:10:17,993 --> 00:10:20,499 And she can see. Like, she can see, 187 00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:22,139 and it's a privileged view. 188 00:10:22,140 --> 00:10:23,859 And this is the bit where it starts to go bad, 189 00:10:23,860 --> 00:10:26,483 so it's weird and it's confusing and... 190 00:10:27,425 --> 00:10:28,825 Pan. 191 00:10:29,305 --> 00:10:30,705 Pan? 192 00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:34,260 Why are you eating crisps? 193 00:10:34,580 --> 00:10:36,219 - I'm hungry. - Yeah, but I mean, 194 00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:39,539 I'm trying to explain to you all why this is still shit. 195 00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:41,219 - It's not shit. - We're just struggling 196 00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:42,861 to know what you want, darling. 197 00:10:42,862 --> 00:10:45,342 It's not even a circle now, it's just... 198 00:10:45,828 --> 00:10:47,859 I mean, what is that? 199 00:10:47,860 --> 00:10:49,739 Her whole family is cursed! 200 00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:51,259 Okay. She's trying to break the curse! 201 00:10:51,260 --> 00:10:54,499 Just stop thinking about it so much and bash it out. It's a massacre! 202 00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:57,661 - Mate, your eye is fucked. - Okay, look, this is what I mean. 203 00:11:10,740 --> 00:11:12,140 Bananas. 204 00:11:12,682 --> 00:11:14,082 What? 205 00:11:14,294 --> 00:11:16,139 - Why are you saying bananas? - Because you're bananas. 206 00:11:16,140 --> 00:11:17,979 I'm sorry, Amy, but you are. You're bananas. 207 00:11:17,980 --> 00:11:21,259 We're really tired, Amy. We were up till 2 a.m. last night doing this. 208 00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:22,859 You know half of us are on our fucking period, right? 209 00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:24,819 - I had chunks this morning. - I feel like someone's trying to 210 00:11:24,820 --> 00:11:26,659 yank my organs out of my cunt. 211 00:11:26,660 --> 00:11:28,218 - Do you ever get that? - Yeah, sometimes, yeah. 212 00:11:28,219 --> 00:11:30,501 Okay. Alright. Look. 213 00:11:30,502 --> 00:11:33,419 Getting struck by lightning was the best thing that ever happened to me 214 00:11:33,420 --> 00:11:36,139 because if I hadn't have been then I would never have bothered to make anything, 215 00:11:36,140 --> 00:11:38,380 and I would never have met any of you. 216 00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:40,740 I love you. 217 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:43,060 You're my best friends. 218 00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:45,740 You're my only friends. 219 00:11:46,466 --> 00:11:47,619 I trust you 220 00:11:47,620 --> 00:11:48,841 to be able to do this. 221 00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:51,842 I wanna go to that place together, as one, 222 00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:53,740 as sisters. 223 00:11:55,620 --> 00:11:57,660 We don't know what to play, Amy. 224 00:11:58,860 --> 00:12:00,260 Okay. 225 00:12:01,740 --> 00:12:05,300 Why is it so difficult! 226 00:12:05,688 --> 00:12:08,528 Why is it so difficult! 227 00:12:10,620 --> 00:12:12,020 Alright. 228 00:12:12,771 --> 00:12:14,992 Fuck this Bum Gardener bullshit. 229 00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:16,980 Stupid wig. 230 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:24,939 ♪ P-p-p-p-pipe man, Pipe-pipe ♪ 231 00:12:24,940 --> 00:12:28,860 ♪ P-p-p-p-pipe man, P-p-p-p-pipe man, P-p-pipe-pipe man, Pipe-pipe ♪ 232 00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:31,619 Is this the famous Muck Suck Machine? 233 00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,530 Er, you guessed it. 234 00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:36,700 This baby eats gunk for breakfast. 235 00:12:38,247 --> 00:12:39,647 Very strange. 236 00:12:40,661 --> 00:12:43,061 Can you pass the spanner matrix, please? 237 00:12:44,870 --> 00:12:46,390 I'm guessing you mean this thing. 238 00:12:46,781 --> 00:12:48,221 Yep. Danke Schön. 239 00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:51,419 So you're not a clown anymore? 240 00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:55,701 No. I just looked in the mirror one day and asked myself... 241 00:12:55,702 --> 00:12:57,779 do I want to be a clown for the rest of my life. 242 00:12:57,780 --> 00:12:59,701 And the answer was 'no.' 243 00:12:59,702 --> 00:13:02,698 - So I'm trying other things. - No. Oh, come on. 244 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,460 Not much luck so far, hence this place. 245 00:13:06,340 --> 00:13:09,499 I'm not gonna lie. I do feel quite sorry for you. This place is a shithole. 246 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,140 Thanks. 247 00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:18,664 What? 248 00:13:19,358 --> 00:13:20,883 I was just looking at your boobs. 249 00:13:21,340 --> 00:13:22,739 Oh, right. 250 00:13:22,740 --> 00:13:25,580 I thought you were gonna say something to pretend that you weren't. 251 00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,239 Quite big, aren't they? 252 00:13:27,816 --> 00:13:29,776 I always thought it was just because you were fat. 253 00:13:32,340 --> 00:13:33,740 Just an observation. 254 00:13:36,860 --> 00:13:39,019 What's the moustache about anyway? 255 00:13:39,020 --> 00:13:40,420 Why? Do you like it? 256 00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:42,820 Amy says I look like an out-of-work porn star. 257 00:13:43,340 --> 00:13:46,459 She's just jealous because her stupid girl hormones couldn't grow one. 258 00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:47,860 Can I touch it? 259 00:13:49,940 --> 00:13:51,340 Yeah, if you want. 260 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,800 Mm. It's quite soft, isn't it? 261 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,441 I use conditioner. 262 00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:03,843 On your moustache? 263 00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:05,244 Yep. 264 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,382 Right. So... 265 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:13,263 It's not gonna explode and splat sewage everywhere, is it? 266 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,800 I'm the best goddamn plumber in Heathen's Wood. 267 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,680 God is love. 268 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,120 And she that dwelleth in love... 269 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,240 dwelleth in God... 270 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,640 and he in her. 271 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:50,840 Because there is no fear in love. 272 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,440 But perfect love... 273 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,880 casteth out fear. 274 00:14:59,808 --> 00:15:01,848 Because fear hath torment. 275 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,120 And she that feareth... 276 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,120 is not made perfect in love. 277 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:13,200 Don't worry about me. 278 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:17,816 Fucking children! 279 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:22,279 You're both selfish, arrogant, pretentious 280 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:23,479 mard-arses. It's pathetic! 281 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,212 Dad tried to hang himself, you idiot! 282 00:15:26,213 --> 00:15:29,719 Your grandad applied to Omsk a couple of times. 283 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,559 Kept getting told to fuck off. 284 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,559 - I thought you liked pineapple. - Baumgaertner! 285 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,000 Bloody eat some then! 286 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,680 I'm the son! 287 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:41,519 Baumgaertner. 288 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,880 Hi. Boring? Really? 289 00:15:57,400 --> 00:15:58,639 Maurice, look. 290 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,400 Barry! Hi. 291 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,759 Been running out in that heat? 292 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,480 Er. Just, yeah. 293 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,640 Dealing with some of this excess baggage. 294 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,481 Physical baggage, er, some emotional. 295 00:16:09,482 --> 00:16:10,879 Obviously, if I checked in all my emotional baggage, 296 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,919 I think I'd crash the bloody plane. 297 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,879 Yes. 298 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:17,559 Me too. 299 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,959 I think I've crashed several already. 300 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,279 - Ha! - I'm at the bottom 301 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,760 of the bloody ocean! 302 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:32,959 Yeah. Ooh. 303 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,359 I love babies. 304 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:39,160 Hmm. They just radiate joy, don't they? 305 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,720 D'you remember what that was like? 306 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,039 Having your bottom wiped, 307 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,079 being carried to bed. 308 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,439 - Ooh. - Yep. 309 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,453 You're going to cheer me up, aren't ya? 310 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:55,688 - I know how you feel, Maurice. - Hmm. 311 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,720 To be rejected by such a wonderful woman. 312 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:04,083 Yeah. Er, I mean, obviously I was married to her for quite a long time. 313 00:17:04,372 --> 00:17:05,772 Erm... 314 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,879 Why do you have the baby? 315 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,879 Oh. Avelaine wanted me to look after her. 316 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:15,480 Mmm. I think they're going to eat some drugs. 317 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,479 Aren't they? Eh? 318 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,239 Mummy's gonna eat some naughty drugs. 319 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:26,040 I'm going out with a friend now, so... 320 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:27,879 I'm not gonna make it unfortunately. 321 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,120 Erm, okay. Well, that's alright. 322 00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,587 Where are you going? 323 00:17:31,588 --> 00:17:34,748 Dad's gone mental. He's going out with the girls, so... 324 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,400 I thought I'd go and keep an eye on him, you know. 325 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,279 Oh, right. 326 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:40,940 Why don't you bring your friend to the reading? 327 00:17:40,941 --> 00:17:44,662 Oh. It's just, we were kind of hoping to let loose a bit. 328 00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:45,919 So... 329 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,120 Oh, yes. Well, fair enough. 330 00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:50,537 Erm, and is Amy there? 331 00:17:50,538 --> 00:17:51,896 Er, hang on a second. 332 00:17:54,144 --> 00:17:55,544 Amy! 333 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:00,040 Amy! 334 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:06,353 Amy! 335 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:08,839 I think she's out. 336 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:10,999 Oh, okay. Well, erm, 337 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,956 well, you have a great time, Mr Pipe Man! 338 00:18:14,957 --> 00:18:17,639 And you, Mum. Hope you destroy it. 339 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:21,097 ♪ He's got a trunk full of polybutylene! ♪ 340 00:18:21,098 --> 00:18:23,853 Oh, actually, Don, that reminds me. Can I tell you something funny... 341 00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:00,364 Shun! Are you coming? 342 00:19:03,594 --> 00:19:04,994 Shun! 343 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,639 I didn't realise you were planning to go. You haven't even read her book. 344 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,519 I feel sorry for her. Look, if you don't wanna come, don't come. 345 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,399 If you do, let's go. It'll probably be weird again, 346 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,839 but then at least we can come home and carry on being happy. 347 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,079 - Are you happy though? - Yes. Why? 348 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,938 Because you don't seem very happy at the moment. 349 00:19:21,939 --> 00:19:23,469 - I'm fine. - No, you're quite... 350 00:19:23,470 --> 00:19:25,919 - Where are my fucking socks? - You're just a bit up here, 351 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,119 you know? 352 00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:29,159 Amy, please calm down. 353 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,079 - I think you're tired. - What are you on about, calm down? 354 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,159 I am calm, you're the one who's not calm. 355 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:34,439 And why do people keep telling me I'm tired? 356 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,360 I'm like, basically the only one who isn't tired. 357 00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:39,239 - Oh, fuck off. - What now? 358 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,759 - Doing that breathing thing again. - What thing again? 359 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,641 That thing! Where you breathe like... 360 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,639 And you think, because you haven't said any actual words 361 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,319 you're being all patient and saintly, 362 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,159 but actually it's worse than just telling me to shut up, 363 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,399 because then at least I don't have to watch you piss your scent 364 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,757 all over the moral high ground 365 00:19:53,758 --> 00:19:56,071 like some demented incontinent farm animal... 366 00:19:56,072 --> 00:19:58,477 I have to breathe! 367 00:19:58,478 --> 00:19:59,999 What is that? 368 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,319 You know what? Forget it. 369 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:03,719 - You're not in the right frame of mind. - Amy, come on. 370 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,123 And I've got too much work to do anyway. 371 00:20:05,124 --> 00:20:07,324 Let's go to your mother's thing. You're just getting a bit fizzy. 372 00:20:07,325 --> 00:20:09,293 You know what's fizzy? This shit. 373 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,599 What is going on with you? 374 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,713 What's going on with me? I'm cursed, mate. 375 00:20:13,714 --> 00:20:16,512 My whole family is cursed. And I need to break it. 376 00:20:16,513 --> 00:20:17,759 You sound mad. 377 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,279 You're the one who spends your entire life 378 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,039 talking to some big beard-y pervert in the sky, 379 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,679 like that's gonna solve everything. 380 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:24,959 Why can't you just face it? 381 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,988 Why can't you just look the Devil in the eye and fight him? 382 00:20:27,989 --> 00:20:29,559 Because I'd lose. 383 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,844 - Have a good day, Monkey. - Where are you going? 384 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:35,119 See you later when you're not having a hot flush about nothing. 385 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,717 Amy, where are you going? 386 00:20:36,718 --> 00:20:39,159 I'm going to hell, mate, 'cause I'm mad. 387 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,000 I'm madder than God! 388 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,440 Well, fuck off then! 389 00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:47,057 Yeah, yeah, hello. I'm Morag. 390 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:49,116 Erm, I just wanted to say 391 00:20:49,117 --> 00:20:53,197 that, that you and Maurice are such an inspiration to my husband and me. 392 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:57,480 We came here because I'm absolutely loopy to be honest, 393 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,679 but we wanted to know, erm, 394 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,885 what activities do you enjoy doing together 395 00:21:03,886 --> 00:21:06,519 to, erm, to achieve this beautiful bond, 396 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,037 and how often do you have sex? 397 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,484 And what do you do to spice it up? 398 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,679 Erm, I mean, for a long time, Maurice's libido... 399 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:18,280 Er, I mean, he just wasn't interested. But erm... 400 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,839 But then sometimes we're going at it like crazy, you know, so. 401 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:25,319 Erm, and, of course, positions are very important. 402 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,040 - So... - Oh, yeah. Like what? 403 00:21:27,292 --> 00:21:31,800 Erm, I mean, well, sometimes I like to thread my leg, erm, through, you know. 404 00:21:32,206 --> 00:21:34,685 So that the important bits are sort of rubbing, 405 00:21:34,686 --> 00:21:37,109 as well as the penetrative element, obviously. 406 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,959 But, but, erm, then, of course, well, activities. 407 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,719 Erm, you know, you can go for walks, 408 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,719 or recently we had a lovely caravan holiday, so... 409 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,079 Oh. 410 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:47,599 Oh, well, thank you. 411 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,920 Yes. Lady in the pink stripes. 412 00:21:51,929 --> 00:21:54,041 Erm, my name's Sylvia. 413 00:21:54,538 --> 00:21:55,938 And... 414 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,652 I lost my husband three years ago to suicide. 415 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,800 Oh, Sylvia, I'm so, so sorry. That must have been awful. 416 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,480 It's okay. Take your time. 417 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,280 Well... 418 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:13,640 I just wanted to say... 419 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:18,639 I don't think you have the right to tell me 420 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,200 how it works. 421 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,239 Because I did everything I could to help Freddy, 422 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:28,742 and Freddy did everything he could to help himself. And he still died. 423 00:22:29,914 --> 00:22:31,314 And... 424 00:22:31,772 --> 00:22:33,172 I loved him. 425 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,280 And I looked after him. 426 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:40,200 I'm sorry, Sylvia. 427 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,720 Because you can't stop it, 428 00:22:43,321 --> 00:22:44,721 can you? 429 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:47,560 That's the truth. 430 00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:04,599 Ah, evening, my lady. What you up to? 431 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,338 Just trying to work out how to break the curse on our family 432 00:23:07,339 --> 00:23:09,239 without murdering everyone and burning the house down. 433 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:10,719 Ooh. 434 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,719 Well, I don't want to disturb you, but, er, 435 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:14,639 do you mind watching the baby for a bit? 436 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,228 I'm just gonna pop myself in the shower. 437 00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:19,637 Oh, I don't know what I'm meant to do with it. 438 00:23:19,638 --> 00:23:21,039 No, you will. 439 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:22,800 That's the ticket. 440 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,879 I, er, can't actually see anymore 'cause of the paint in my eyes, 441 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,280 so, er... 442 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:33,280 Erm... 443 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,131 Fucking hell! 444 00:23:36,132 --> 00:23:37,532 Sit down. 445 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,919 Sit. Bend half. 446 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,320 Bend in the middle. 447 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:42,719 Bend. 448 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:44,039 That's it. 449 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,359 Well done. 450 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,120 Barry! 451 00:24:22,591 --> 00:24:23,791 Barry! 452 00:24:24,503 --> 00:24:25,929 For fuck's sake. 34784

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