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1
00:00:04,903 --> 00:00:06,946
Perfect. Just perfect.
2
00:00:06,947 --> 00:00:09,156
Okay dove, move closer to your sister.
3
00:00:09,157 --> 00:00:11,535
Mom, give me a big smile.
4
00:00:12,786 --> 00:00:16,831
Great. We're beautiful! Now
let's get one with the groom.
5
00:00:16,832 --> 00:00:18,917
Where is Nathan?
6
00:00:20,293 --> 00:00:21,294
Nathan?
7
00:00:22,337 --> 00:00:24,047
Nathan?
8
00:00:29,344 --> 00:00:30,510
Sweetie?
9
00:00:30,511 --> 00:00:34,347
Stan, could you make this quick?
I'm kind of in the middle of something.
10
00:00:34,348 --> 00:00:36,975
Katya, I'm in jail, I'm
your tax accountant...
11
00:00:36,976 --> 00:00:38,560
And you're probably going to get audited.
12
00:00:38,561 --> 00:00:42,021
-Is that good enough?
-Your point is?
13
00:00:42,022 --> 00:00:43,356
You need to start a tax journal...
14
00:00:43,357 --> 00:00:45,942
And write down all of your expenses.
15
00:00:45,943 --> 00:00:47,360
Darling, I'm not the bookkeeper.
16
00:00:47,361 --> 00:00:49,863
I have a frantic social
calendar, a thriving career...
17
00:00:49,864 --> 00:00:53,032
And a scandalous love life.
18
00:00:53,033 --> 00:00:56,483
Well, unless you want to add
'imminent prison sentence', you'll do it.
19
00:00:58,456 --> 00:01:01,166
Also...
-Katya?
20
00:01:01,167 --> 00:01:02,834
Oh my god!
21
00:01:02,835 --> 00:01:05,003
What are you doing?
22
00:01:05,004 --> 00:01:08,090
Taking a breather. The best
man really lives up to his title.
23
00:01:09,884 --> 00:01:12,177
He's not the best man!
24
00:01:12,178 --> 00:01:13,763
I'm Nathan, the groom.
25
00:01:16,140 --> 00:01:19,726
My god. I'm sorry. I really am.
26
00:01:19,727 --> 00:01:21,769
I missed the wedding. Just got here.
27
00:01:21,770 --> 00:01:23,021
Great! You found him!
28
00:01:27,817 --> 00:01:29,443
Thank you.
29
00:01:29,444 --> 00:01:31,737
Congratulations.
30
00:01:31,738 --> 00:01:33,656
Good afternoon, everyone.
31
00:02:38,137 --> 00:02:39,720
Katya...
32
00:02:39,721 --> 00:02:42,265
Katya! Katya, wait!
33
00:02:42,266 --> 00:02:44,642
Would you stop stalking me?
34
00:02:44,643 --> 00:02:47,437
It's over, okay! Don't I
have a restraining order?
35
00:02:47,438 --> 00:02:51,400
Yes. Sweetie, come on...
36
00:02:53,110 --> 00:02:55,446
I'll never get a girl.
37
00:03:21,471 --> 00:03:23,139
It's a great deal, man.
38
00:03:35,526 --> 00:03:37,027
How much?
39
00:03:37,028 --> 00:03:38,780
-Which one?
-The dalmatian.
40
00:03:40,031 --> 00:03:41,698
-Fifty.
-Twenty.
41
00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:43,116
-Forty.
-Twenty!
42
00:03:43,117 --> 00:03:45,702
-Thirty.
-Twenty.
43
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,496
Come on, darling, don't pout.
44
00:03:47,497 --> 00:03:50,999
Every socialite in San Francisco
is going to see me with that bag.
45
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,252
Honestly, you should be paying me.
46
00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:05,221
First entry of stupid tax journal...
47
00:04:05,222 --> 00:04:07,389
Nazi accountant is forcing me to keep.
48
00:04:07,390 --> 00:04:10,768
Mont Blanc pen to write down
expenditures: Two hundred dollars.
49
00:04:10,769 --> 00:04:12,228
Bang & Olufson mini-recorder...
50
00:04:12,229 --> 00:04:14,188
Since mont Blanc chipped manicure:
51
00:04:14,189 --> 00:04:16,482
Free, as pilfered from office.
52
00:04:16,483 --> 00:04:20,986
Spent two thousand dollars on wear
and return gown for dove's wedding.
53
00:04:20,987 --> 00:04:23,406
Worn to wedding, funeral and bar mitzvah.
54
00:04:23,407 --> 00:04:26,242
Still has tag, and luckily, no stains.
55
00:04:26,243 --> 00:04:28,787
Thank god for 30 day return policy.
56
00:04:36,420 --> 00:04:37,670
A tax journal?
57
00:04:37,671 --> 00:04:39,880
Something about 'over
declared business expenses.'
58
00:04:39,881 --> 00:04:41,132
I don't know, who has the time?
59
00:04:41,133 --> 00:04:43,758
If you still need write-offs, you
should reconsider adopting Sabelo.
60
00:04:43,759 --> 00:04:44,759
Who?
61
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,928
The orphan from Uganda
I was telling you about.
62
00:04:46,929 --> 00:04:49,931
You can sponsor him through
youth aid, the non-profit I volunteer for.
63
00:04:49,932 --> 00:04:52,392
Eliza, I told you I barely
have time to keep a journal...
64
00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,811
Let alone breast feed an orphan.
65
00:04:54,812 --> 00:04:57,021
He's eight.
66
00:04:57,022 --> 00:04:58,773
You can't smoke in here.
67
00:04:58,774 --> 00:05:00,358
You know what? You're
better than the patch.
68
00:05:00,359 --> 00:05:01,985
So, how was your date last night?
69
00:05:01,986 --> 00:05:04,946
Horrible. He fell into a
manhole and now he's suing me.
70
00:05:04,947 --> 00:05:06,656
Let me guess. The curse of Namambo?
71
00:05:06,657 --> 00:05:09,033
I haven't had a boyfriend
in three years because of it.
72
00:05:09,034 --> 00:05:11,454
-When it's going to wear off?
-Elevator's here.
73
00:05:12,496 --> 00:05:15,498
I don't know when it's going to
end, but that's what you get when...
74
00:05:15,499 --> 00:05:17,876
You try to pay a west indies high
priestess ten bucks to do you cornrows.
75
00:05:17,877 --> 00:05:20,253
I thought I was supporting
the local economy!
76
00:05:20,254 --> 00:05:21,963
It just goes to show you
you try to do a good deed...
77
00:05:21,964 --> 00:05:25,258
And you end up with a voodoo
curse that cripples potential husbands.
78
00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:27,720
This is why I avoid philanthropy.
79
00:05:34,309 --> 00:05:37,269
-Good morning.
-Good morning, Eliza.
80
00:05:37,270 --> 00:05:39,730
Katya, you're late.
81
00:05:39,731 --> 00:05:41,857
By, like, five minutes, gatekeeper.
82
00:05:41,858 --> 00:05:43,484
Where'd you get that bag?
83
00:05:43,485 --> 00:05:46,361
I went to Lulu guinness and I bought it.
84
00:05:46,362 --> 00:05:48,572
They cost a fortune.
85
00:05:48,573 --> 00:05:52,534
Darling, don't you know that
looking good is everything?
86
00:05:52,535 --> 00:05:54,496
No matter how much it costs?
87
00:05:55,497 --> 00:05:56,914
Nevermind.
88
00:05:56,915 --> 00:06:02,503
Wait! I made seaweed snacks.
89
00:06:02,504 --> 00:06:08,383
They're totally organic.
No sugar, no flour...
90
00:06:08,384 --> 00:06:09,844
No fun.
91
00:06:12,180 --> 00:06:14,557
Sorry. She doesn't mean it.
92
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:24,816
Who the hell are you?
93
00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:26,692
I'm Sebastian.
94
00:06:26,693 --> 00:06:29,113
Sebastian who?
95
00:06:30,531 --> 00:06:33,324
What is that thing in my office?
96
00:06:33,325 --> 00:06:34,450
What thing?
97
00:06:34,451 --> 00:06:37,870
That pre-pubescent thing in my office?
98
00:06:37,871 --> 00:06:39,539
You must mean the new hire?
99
00:06:39,540 --> 00:06:42,750
Mr. Cosgrove will be in
shortly to explain it to you.
100
00:06:42,751 --> 00:06:46,379
How am I supposed to get any work
done with someone breathing next to me?
101
00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:49,090
It is an office for two people, Katya.
102
00:06:49,091 --> 00:06:50,716
I do not need this right now!
103
00:06:50,717 --> 00:06:53,428
-I will be in boss-man's office.
-You are not allowed.
104
00:06:53,429 --> 00:06:55,514
Not allowed?
105
00:06:58,392 --> 00:07:01,394
You know, actually, I forgot...
106
00:07:01,395 --> 00:07:03,897
I got you a little something.
107
00:07:06,650 --> 00:07:09,068
Lulu guinness?
108
00:07:09,069 --> 00:07:10,404
For me?
109
00:07:13,741 --> 00:07:16,825
Stan, darling, if I adopt
a third world child...
110
00:07:16,826 --> 00:07:19,369
Can I claim an exemption
as a single mother?
111
00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:20,746
Adopt?
112
00:07:20,747 --> 00:07:22,748
You mean you're going to be a mom?
113
00:07:22,749 --> 00:07:24,416
No, silly. It's like rent-a-kid.
114
00:07:24,417 --> 00:07:28,712
That Sally Struthers thing,
'for 79 cents a day, blah blah'
115
00:07:28,713 --> 00:07:32,759
thank god. I mean, i'm
moved by your selflessness.
116
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:36,219
So, yes or no on the exemption?
117
00:07:36,220 --> 00:07:41,099
No. But the IRS loves
charitable deductions. So do it.
118
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:43,019
Now this is really important...
119
00:07:49,150 --> 00:07:52,110
Hello.
120
00:07:52,111 --> 00:07:54,654
Katya, what are you doing in my office?
121
00:07:54,655 --> 00:07:57,657
Don't you want to talk to me
about that child in my office?
122
00:07:57,658 --> 00:08:01,828
As a matter of fact I would
like to talk to you about that.
123
00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:06,415
It seems that you have now scared
away another assistant art director.
124
00:08:06,416 --> 00:08:08,459
And this time in a record two weeks.
125
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:12,588
It is not my fault that she
couldn't handle the competition...
126
00:08:12,589 --> 00:08:14,716
Or that I'm a good eleven pounds thinner.
127
00:08:16,718 --> 00:08:18,719
Is this a bad time?
128
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:20,971
This is a perfect time.
Come on in. Come on in.
129
00:08:20,972 --> 00:08:26,769
Now you can meet our new
assistant art director. This is Sebastian.
130
00:08:26,770 --> 00:08:28,939
It's a pleasure to meet you.
131
00:08:30,107 --> 00:08:31,357
I'm sure it is.
132
00:08:31,358 --> 00:08:33,275
Lyle, if you had consulted me first...
133
00:08:33,276 --> 00:08:36,987
I might've suggested someone
old enough to take clients to drinks.
134
00:08:36,988 --> 00:08:38,614
Actually, I'll be twenty-one in a month.
135
00:08:38,615 --> 00:08:41,951
Whatever he lacks in age, he
more than makes up for in brains.
136
00:08:41,952 --> 00:08:44,952
He's a smart kid, you know he
graduated from your Alma mater.
137
00:08:46,832 --> 00:08:48,707
Stanford?
138
00:08:48,708 --> 00:08:52,003
Of course. Can I have
a word with you? Alone?
139
00:08:53,255 --> 00:08:55,380
Sure, I'll just be in our office.
140
00:08:55,381 --> 00:08:57,590
It's such an honor to meet you.
141
00:08:57,591 --> 00:09:01,344
Our office? I'm not sharing
an office with that tween!
142
00:09:01,345 --> 00:09:04,264
This is an ad agency, not romper room!
143
00:09:04,265 --> 00:09:08,810
Will you hold that thought while
you're stepping away from my desk?
144
00:09:08,811 --> 00:09:10,854
Thank you.
145
00:09:10,855 --> 00:09:13,356
Look, Katya, I tried to find
someone with real experience...
146
00:09:13,357 --> 00:09:15,859
But the truth is no
one will work with you.
147
00:09:15,860 --> 00:09:18,361
-Your reputation proceeds you.
-Really?
148
00:09:18,362 --> 00:09:21,865
Stop that. It's not good to
be known as a prima Donna.
149
00:09:21,866 --> 00:09:25,161
Even though my last Campbell's
campaign doubled their sales.
150
00:09:26,370 --> 00:09:29,622
You're the one who told me you
needed help with the workload.
151
00:09:29,623 --> 00:09:31,666
You have Dr. Bolls tomorrow at noon.
152
00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:34,837
Take him under your wing.
Use him however you need.
153
00:09:36,046 --> 00:09:38,424
However I need?
154
00:09:40,551 --> 00:09:41,761
He's a dead man.
155
00:09:46,931 --> 00:09:48,891
Carrot celery and
wheatgrass for me, thank you.
156
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:50,560
Non-fat milk.
157
00:09:54,981 --> 00:09:57,066
-What is that?
-Baryshnikov.
158
00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:59,277
-What's that?
-Skinny white Russian.
159
00:10:00,487 --> 00:10:02,529
I thought you couldn't do lunch
because you had too many errands?
160
00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:05,949
Darling, that's what a cabana boy is for.
161
00:10:05,950 --> 00:10:07,076
Sebastian!
162
00:10:07,077 --> 00:10:08,827
After dropping off my drycleaning...
163
00:10:08,828 --> 00:10:10,245
He cleaned my make-up brushes...
164
00:10:10,246 --> 00:10:12,915
And then took the rest of his
lunch off to pick up my birth control.
165
00:10:12,916 --> 00:10:16,919
Katya! That's horrible! He's
an assistant, not a slave.
166
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:20,964
Of course he's not. I would
never take advantage of him.
167
00:10:20,965 --> 00:10:22,591
He does have a nice ass.
168
00:10:22,592 --> 00:10:26,553
This is why you can never keep
a relationship, you objectify men.
169
00:10:26,554 --> 00:10:29,306
He's not a man. He's a boy.
170
00:10:29,307 --> 00:10:31,058
And the reason that I have
trouble keep a relationship...
171
00:10:31,059 --> 00:10:34,770
Is because the men I go out with
are not worthy of my inner goddess.
172
00:10:34,771 --> 00:10:37,271
Your standards are way too high.
173
00:10:37,272 --> 00:10:40,775
What is wrong with wanting a man
that has the looks of George Clooney...
174
00:10:40,776 --> 00:10:42,610
The real estate of Donald Trump...
175
00:10:42,611 --> 00:10:44,654
And the bank account of Bill Gates?
176
00:10:44,655 --> 00:10:47,073
Because, for the hundredth
time, he doesn't exist!
177
00:10:47,074 --> 00:10:49,617
Yes he does. I just
haven't found him yet.
178
00:10:49,618 --> 00:10:54,539
And until I do, I'm prepared
to be a single mother.
179
00:10:54,540 --> 00:10:57,834
-Excuse me?
-I'm ready to adopt Sabelo.
180
00:10:57,835 --> 00:10:59,836
Katya, I'm so thrilled!
181
00:10:59,837 --> 00:11:02,588
You're making a
difference in a child's life.
182
00:11:02,589 --> 00:11:04,799
What do I have to
do to get the write-off?
183
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,928
Ps: That aunt Jemima thing out. Kapish?
184
00:11:11,473 --> 00:11:13,891
'I'm always dressed in
head-to-toe designer...
185
00:11:13,892 --> 00:11:15,685
Prefer platinum to white gold...
186
00:11:15,686 --> 00:11:19,481
And frequent all the best
restaurants in San Francisco.'
187
00:11:20,983 --> 00:11:23,276
Katya, the child lives in a dung hut.
188
00:11:23,277 --> 00:11:25,945
I know! And he lists his
favorite hobby as 'eating'.
189
00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:29,406
So we already have so much in common!
190
00:11:29,407 --> 00:11:31,575
Listen, I'm happy to help
with your personal stuff...
191
00:11:31,576 --> 00:11:36,664
But I also really want to help
you on your campaign, please.
192
00:11:37,832 --> 00:11:38,874
Dookie...
193
00:11:38,875 --> 00:11:43,879
You've already got so much
on your plate it makes me tired.
194
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:45,505
Anyhow, I think I'm going
to take a ciggie break...
195
00:11:45,506 --> 00:11:47,925
While you finish up my 'to do' list.
196
00:11:54,223 --> 00:11:56,349
I thought you were quitting?
197
00:11:56,350 --> 00:11:57,768
It's not lit.
198
00:11:57,769 --> 00:12:00,854
But don't tell anyone. I don't
want to miss out on the break.
199
00:12:00,855 --> 00:12:03,940
Speaking of, time's up. You coming?
200
00:12:03,941 --> 00:12:05,943
I'm not finished.
201
00:12:15,036 --> 00:12:18,288
Je ne sais quoi, check.
202
00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:40,393
I didn't know what size you
wanted, so I got you the super pack.
203
00:12:40,394 --> 00:12:42,103
Do I know you?
204
00:12:42,104 --> 00:12:43,897
Good afternoon.
205
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:53,156
Gas chamber or lethal injection?
206
00:12:54,783 --> 00:12:56,409
I am on a break.
207
00:12:56,410 --> 00:12:57,494
I'm sorry.
208
00:12:58,537 --> 00:13:01,038
Next up, Melissa rivers on in the know.
209
00:13:01,039 --> 00:13:04,667
Watch out San Francisco! You have
no ideal what's coming your way...
210
00:13:04,668 --> 00:13:07,127
Socialite sisters dove
and Fawn Greenstein...
211
00:13:07,128 --> 00:13:09,045
Well, they sent out these keys.
212
00:13:09,046 --> 00:13:13,550
Invitations to the royal ball, the
biggest party to hit this city, ever.
213
00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:18,054
Anyone who is anyone is gonna be
here benefiting youth aid international.
214
00:13:18,055 --> 00:13:20,140
It's going to be the
most exclusive party...
215
00:13:20,141 --> 00:13:22,434
More exclusive than Oprah's fiftieth...
216
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:25,687
More decadent than puffy's white party!
217
00:13:25,688 --> 00:13:27,731
And this key, this will
open the front door...
218
00:13:27,732 --> 00:13:29,566
Where's my key?
219
00:13:29,567 --> 00:13:32,027
To Covington castle.
220
00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:35,447
Had to call best friends
Ferguson and Frangipani.
221
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:38,242
Meet me at 17th and market
street! It's an emergency!
222
00:13:39,618 --> 00:13:42,412
Maybe it's in the mail...
223
00:13:42,413 --> 00:13:43,788
You're right. I have to be invited.
224
00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:45,248
You're definitely invited.
225
00:13:45,249 --> 00:13:46,916
Teddy, why is it so freezing in here?
226
00:13:46,917 --> 00:13:48,251
You should've dressed accordingly.
227
00:13:48,252 --> 00:13:50,628
-It's June!
-Come on, it's called igloo.
228
00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:53,798
-There's two more ice-tinis.
-I mean why wouldn't I be invited?
229
00:13:53,799 --> 00:13:57,052
Will you stop! You're
definitely invited, okay.
230
00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:59,053
And in case you're wondering...
231
00:13:59,054 --> 00:14:00,513
I think that I'm in love.
232
00:14:02,140 --> 00:14:04,808
Okay, I'll bite, who is he?
233
00:14:04,809 --> 00:14:06,268
Hans.
234
00:14:06,269 --> 00:14:09,229
I told you not to mix
business with pleasure.
235
00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:12,232
Please. Office romances
are tres common, sweetie.
236
00:14:12,233 --> 00:14:14,610
You are an escort, darling.
Not an insurance salesman.
237
00:14:14,611 --> 00:14:16,071
Okay, whatever...
238
00:14:17,322 --> 00:14:20,574
Sorry I'm late. I was
speed dating for a billionaire.
239
00:14:20,575 --> 00:14:23,994
You just got divorced from your
fourth husband three weeks ago.
240
00:14:23,995 --> 00:14:26,872
But I'm so lonely. I hate being single.
241
00:14:26,873 --> 00:14:29,208
I don't know how you two do it.
242
00:14:29,209 --> 00:14:31,418
So, what's the emergency?
243
00:14:31,419 --> 00:14:32,836
The royal ball!
244
00:14:32,837 --> 00:14:34,338
Will you tell her that
she's invited, please?
245
00:14:34,339 --> 00:14:37,383
Of course she's not invited.
Dove Greenstein hates you.
246
00:14:37,384 --> 00:14:40,761
She does not hate me!
Fergie, does she hate me?
247
00:14:40,762 --> 00:14:42,805
No, she... well...
248
00:14:42,806 --> 00:14:45,849
You tried to sleep with her
ex-husband before he was an ex...
249
00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:47,726
That was months ago. People move on.
250
00:14:47,727 --> 00:14:49,877
I did not sleep with
him he was up my dress.
251
00:14:51,105 --> 00:14:53,689
I've been meaning to ask you to
read this novel I've been working on.
252
00:14:53,690 --> 00:14:56,359
Hello? In the middle of a crisis here.
253
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:58,460
-I don't want to bug you.
-You already are.
254
00:14:59,321 --> 00:15:02,949
It would mean a lot of me if you
would read it and give me some notes.
255
00:15:02,950 --> 00:15:04,534
And the Grant deadline's in two weeks...
256
00:15:04,535 --> 00:15:06,411
And twenty-five thousand
dollars is a lot of money.
257
00:15:06,412 --> 00:15:09,062
Twenty five thousand
dollars? What do I get out of it?
258
00:15:10,958 --> 00:15:12,709
What do you mean?
259
00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:14,877
I mean how long do
we all get free drinks?
260
00:15:14,878 --> 00:15:17,213
You know what, they've been
really cracking down on us...
261
00:15:17,214 --> 00:15:19,882
Make it 3 month and you've got
a deal. Drop this off at my office.
262
00:15:19,883 --> 00:15:21,176
Next round...
263
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,347
Why me?
264
00:15:26,348 --> 00:15:28,391
Because you're too charitable
for your own good, that's why.
265
00:15:28,392 --> 00:15:30,184
Now see, why don't you do
tell that to dove Greenstein?
266
00:15:30,185 --> 00:15:35,065
Don't worry. These socialite
soirees are so overrated.
267
00:15:38,776 --> 00:15:41,445
That's an invite to the royal ball!
268
00:15:41,446 --> 00:15:43,029
I was just trying to
make you feel better.
269
00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:46,742
How could you think that I was
going to miss the party of the century?
270
00:15:46,743 --> 00:15:49,662
-Anyone who's anyone will be there.
-Well, except for her.
271
00:15:51,581 --> 00:15:53,582
I'm kidding. Who cares about
the stupid party, anyway?
272
00:15:53,583 --> 00:15:55,042
I do.
273
00:15:55,043 --> 00:15:57,544
That invite better be in my mail at work.
274
00:15:57,545 --> 00:15:58,837
If it's not, my life is over.
275
00:15:58,838 --> 00:16:01,840
I'll be banished to social Siberia.
276
00:16:01,841 --> 00:16:03,634
Too bad you burned your uggs.
277
00:16:05,011 --> 00:16:08,346
-You're really overreacting here.
-No I am not.
278
00:16:08,347 --> 00:16:11,684
Take it from someone in
advertising. Image is everything.
279
00:16:25,948 --> 00:16:30,076
Katya, your Dr. Boll's
presentation has been moved up...
280
00:16:30,077 --> 00:16:33,788
To nine A.M. tomorrow
morning. Don't be late.
281
00:16:33,789 --> 00:16:36,499
Work. What an unpleasant interruption.
282
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,835
Especially after spending
entire evening building a buzz.
283
00:16:39,836 --> 00:16:42,797
Which reminds me drinks at igloo: Free.
284
00:16:42,798 --> 00:16:44,840
Thanks to agreement with bartender.
285
00:16:44,841 --> 00:16:49,512
Initial contribution towards
adopted child: 79 cents...
286
00:16:49,513 --> 00:16:52,139
New la Perla thong: Ninety dollars...
287
00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:56,477
Soiled current one after running into
man of my dreams on smoke break.
288
00:16:56,478 --> 00:16:59,271
Have yet to learn his name,
but will refer to him as Thor...
289
00:16:59,272 --> 00:17:01,273
Because of viking good looks...
290
00:17:01,274 --> 00:17:04,610
Am anticipating many
expenses for upcoming royal ball.
291
00:17:04,611 --> 00:17:09,323
Can't believe Ferguson and
Frangipani think it's okay not to go.
292
00:17:09,324 --> 00:17:11,700
But what else should I expect from a
musical theater queen male escort...
293
00:17:11,701 --> 00:17:15,830
Or my korean ex-nail tech
turned-black widow billionairess?
294
00:17:15,831 --> 00:17:18,541
Only fourteen days 'til the ball.
295
00:17:18,542 --> 00:17:23,921
Must be brilliant, as have several
reasons to get to work before noon.
296
00:17:44,775 --> 00:17:46,277
Dr. Bolls...
297
00:18:15,722 --> 00:18:20,351
Dr. Bole's... They're
heaven for your soles.
298
00:18:35,408 --> 00:18:38,745
You were great. You make...
299
00:18:40,413 --> 00:18:43,624
What happened to
Nemo and the bosses fish?
300
00:18:43,625 --> 00:18:45,667
What does it look like?
301
00:18:45,668 --> 00:18:49,254
Poor Lyle, I mean Mr. Cosgrove...
302
00:18:49,255 --> 00:18:51,840
He's really upset.
303
00:18:51,841 --> 00:18:54,093
We're going to send them for an autopsy.
304
00:18:54,094 --> 00:18:57,805
So, obviously you got
my message last night.
305
00:18:57,806 --> 00:19:01,724
After last call. I stayed up all
night working on my presentation.
306
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:05,312
I'm going to go in there and
talk to my very pleased boss.
307
00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:10,734
I'm allergic to feathers.
308
00:19:11,777 --> 00:19:13,404
Could you hold this?
309
00:19:16,156 --> 00:19:18,075
To the fish.
310
00:19:19,118 --> 00:19:22,036
Lyle, I just heard...
311
00:19:22,037 --> 00:19:25,206
But come on, why the long
face? We just had a home run.
312
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:28,167
You were perfect, as
always, my little angel.
313
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:32,630
So, the good news is rice-a-roni
is looking for a new image...
314
00:19:32,631 --> 00:19:36,259
They're going to need a
new advertising agency.
315
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:38,136
Now I've already given
the market research...
316
00:19:38,137 --> 00:19:40,304
And all the product lines to Sebastian.
317
00:19:40,305 --> 00:19:43,600
Hold on... I want you to present.
318
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,603
-When?
-Next week.
319
00:19:49,732 --> 00:19:52,691
Is that an invite to the royal ball?
320
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:56,862
Yes, it is. I donate to
youth aid international.
321
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:57,988
So do I!
322
00:19:57,989 --> 00:20:00,283
Well then I guess I'll see you there.
323
00:20:03,161 --> 00:20:04,995
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
324
00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:08,957
Good. Then that night we can
celebrate you landing rice-a-roni.
325
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:11,169
Whatever. Sorry.
326
00:20:13,171 --> 00:20:15,922
How did Lyle get tickets
to the ball and I didn't?
327
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:19,926
Because he's a six-figure
donor to youth aid.
328
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:23,805
So far, you've only
contributed seventy-nine cents.
329
00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:25,015
I have an idea.
330
00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:28,894
Why don't you volunteer with
me. We'd have so much fun.
331
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,981
Working the event is
worse than not going at all!
332
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:36,736
Goofball.
333
00:20:42,866 --> 00:20:44,284
What are you doing?
334
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,535
I'm working.
335
00:20:46,536 --> 00:20:47,870
I told you, there's no time for that!
336
00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:50,873
Go fetch me a nonfat latte
and a nicotine patch, pronto!
337
00:20:50,874 --> 00:20:53,250
I have a very important
meeting in half an hour.
338
00:20:53,251 --> 00:20:54,877
With a client?
339
00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:57,297
He has clients...
340
00:21:03,553 --> 00:21:07,223
After spending twelve dollars on
cab ride to house boat at fisherman's...
341
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:09,642
And a buck ninety-nine
on Charles Shaw wine...
342
00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:13,062
Was forced to descend on Ferguson
who's trying to kill himself again...
343
00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:15,106
Over another client turned lover.
344
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:17,233
Fergie...
345
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,360
He's not here...
346
00:21:19,361 --> 00:21:20,404
Ferguson!
347
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:23,030
Go away.
348
00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:25,241
I'm coming in.
349
00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:28,202
No, not again...
350
00:21:28,203 --> 00:21:30,955
Spare me the Sylvia plath.
351
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:33,416
The oven's electric.
352
00:21:37,586 --> 00:21:39,463
Lemme guess. Hans?
353
00:21:41,090 --> 00:21:44,759
Listen to me, he's a
no-good German cheapskate!
354
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,177
You need a boyfriend
who's going to love you...
355
00:21:46,178 --> 00:21:48,263
No matter how much you cost!
356
00:21:48,264 --> 00:21:50,266
Now am I right or am I right?
357
00:21:51,267 --> 00:21:53,184
Smile.
358
00:21:53,185 --> 00:21:54,686
Do it.
359
00:21:54,687 --> 00:21:55,895
Do it.
360
00:21:55,896 --> 00:21:57,939
Since ninth grade, when I
took you under my wing...
361
00:21:57,940 --> 00:22:00,276
Have I ever steered you wrong?
362
00:22:01,736 --> 00:22:04,029
-Well...
-Other than the home perm thing?
363
00:22:06,449 --> 00:22:08,658
Good. Then let's not
cry over spilled German.
364
00:22:08,659 --> 00:22:09,659
-Come on.
-What?
365
00:22:09,660 --> 00:22:11,953
Now on to more pressing issues...
366
00:22:11,954 --> 00:22:14,789
I need you to call dove Greenstein
and pretend to be my assistant.
367
00:22:14,790 --> 00:22:15,999
Don't you have an assistant?
368
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,585
But not with your wit, or
your charm, or unique flair.
369
00:22:18,586 --> 00:22:20,336
I get it, I get it.
370
00:22:20,337 --> 00:22:24,423
You need your gay
assistant to call, I understand.
371
00:22:24,424 --> 00:22:26,216
Dial the number. Watch the magic, baby.
372
00:22:26,217 --> 00:22:28,427
This is why we're friends.
373
00:22:28,428 --> 00:22:30,929
Okay, it's ringing.
374
00:22:30,930 --> 00:22:32,598
Greenstein residence.
375
00:22:32,599 --> 00:22:35,142
Hi. This is Ferguson from
Katya Livingston's office.
376
00:22:35,143 --> 00:22:36,685
-With whom am I speaking?
-This is Laurie.
377
00:22:36,686 --> 00:22:38,979
-Hi Laurie, how are you?
-Fine, and you?
378
00:22:38,980 --> 00:22:42,483
I'm doing fine thank you very much.
379
00:22:42,484 --> 00:22:46,070
Laurie look, we were just
going over Katya's schedule...
380
00:22:46,071 --> 00:22:47,988
We were wondering, she didn't
get an invite to the royal ball...
381
00:22:47,989 --> 00:22:50,616
-We're hoping it was some sort of...
-Probably was some sort of oversight.
382
00:22:50,617 --> 00:22:52,826
Probably some sort of oversight.
That's what we were thinking.
383
00:22:52,827 --> 00:22:55,579
-Will you please hold?
-I will absolutely hold.
384
00:22:55,580 --> 00:22:58,999
You want to thank me now?
385
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,336
Hi, Fergie is it? This
is dove Greenstein.
386
00:23:02,337 --> 00:23:04,713
Miss Greenstein, how are you?
387
00:23:04,714 --> 00:23:08,926
Just so you hear it from the horse's
mouth. There's been no oversight.
388
00:23:08,927 --> 00:23:11,804
There's been no oversight?
389
00:23:11,805 --> 00:23:14,680
Dove, darling? Hi, it's Katya.
390
00:23:14,681 --> 00:23:18,559
I just caught the tail end of your
conversation with my assistant.
391
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,019
What seems to be the trouble?
392
00:23:20,020 --> 00:23:22,522
Katya, darling. There's no trouble.
393
00:23:22,523 --> 00:23:26,067
I was just explaining how we
didn't include you on our guest list.
394
00:23:26,068 --> 00:23:27,860
You know how these things are, dear.
395
00:23:27,861 --> 00:23:29,362
We had to cut it off somewhere...
396
00:23:29,363 --> 00:23:31,823
So we cut it off at those
who'd slept with our husbands.
397
00:23:31,824 --> 00:23:34,283
But you made so much
money off the infidelity clause!
398
00:23:34,284 --> 00:23:37,787
I know, but when you leaked
my real age to the gazette...
399
00:23:37,788 --> 00:23:39,998
-Dove, no one's 29.
-I am!
400
00:23:42,126 --> 00:23:45,962
Anyways, now that the sultan
of Brunei is bringing his harem...
401
00:23:45,963 --> 00:23:48,423
Well, we're absolutely at capacity.
402
00:23:48,424 --> 00:23:50,968
But take care dear. Good to chat.
403
00:23:54,304 --> 00:23:55,346
Are you okay?
404
00:23:55,347 --> 00:23:58,349
No! The sultan of Brunei
is bringing his hoes...
405
00:23:58,350 --> 00:24:00,476
And I'm not invited!
406
00:24:00,477 --> 00:24:01,877
So what are you going to do?
407
00:24:04,147 --> 00:24:05,356
Sweetie...
408
00:24:06,733 --> 00:24:08,526
It's electric. Remember?
409
00:24:34,719 --> 00:24:37,929
Oh my god. I'm going to get a huge fine.
410
00:24:37,930 --> 00:24:40,058
I'll fix it for you.
411
00:24:41,434 --> 00:24:42,894
Here, hold this.
412
00:24:50,610 --> 00:24:52,904
-Alright. Thanks.
-Thank you.
413
00:24:54,863 --> 00:24:56,281
Going up?
414
00:25:00,869 --> 00:25:02,913
You're so uncool!
415
00:25:04,664 --> 00:25:07,458
Met Thor the love god in elevator today.
416
00:25:07,459 --> 00:25:10,503
Electric smile teeth
whitener thirty five dollars.
417
00:25:10,504 --> 00:25:12,838
And quit smoking again.
418
00:25:12,839 --> 00:25:14,757
Hoping he works in the building.
419
00:25:14,758 --> 00:25:17,718
Got to get Eliza to
help me hunt him down.
420
00:25:17,719 --> 00:25:19,679
Please god, don't let him be married.
421
00:25:23,183 --> 00:25:26,644
Darling, can you get me a
list of every man under 35...
422
00:25:26,645 --> 00:25:28,229
On the fourth floor?
423
00:25:28,230 --> 00:25:30,356
My future husband works there.
424
00:25:30,357 --> 00:25:33,484
You found someone who
lives up to your expectations?
425
00:25:33,485 --> 00:25:36,737
At least in the looks department
he's very leading man.
426
00:25:36,738 --> 00:25:39,532
Katya. Forget about a fantasy guy.
427
00:25:39,533 --> 00:25:41,951
What if I set you up with my attorney?
428
00:25:41,952 --> 00:25:45,078
You want me to go out with somebody
who specializes in personal injury?
429
00:25:45,079 --> 00:25:47,330
He's at the top of his field.
430
00:25:47,331 --> 00:25:49,624
Trust me, he's a catch.
431
00:25:49,625 --> 00:25:51,126
Then why don't you date him?
432
00:25:51,127 --> 00:25:52,711
I forgot, curse of Namambo.
433
00:25:52,712 --> 00:25:54,838
And the fact that he eats meat.
434
00:25:54,839 --> 00:25:57,924
You don't want to go out with
him because he's not a vegetarian...
435
00:25:57,925 --> 00:26:01,511
And I don't want to go out
with him because I'm engaged.
436
00:26:01,512 --> 00:26:04,013
Fourth floor, remember?
437
00:26:04,014 --> 00:26:04,974
Come on.
438
00:26:21,866 --> 00:26:23,826
Look who's late.
439
00:26:25,911 --> 00:26:28,455
Is that a mirage, or are
you really wearing a parka?
440
00:26:28,456 --> 00:26:29,831
I was trying to dress 'accordingly.'
441
00:26:29,832 --> 00:26:33,919
-Igloo's so last week.
-The ice age is so over.
442
00:26:35,170 --> 00:26:37,296
So, how was your grovel-fest with dove?
443
00:26:37,297 --> 00:26:38,505
It was a disaster.
444
00:26:38,506 --> 00:26:40,299
I should've known that
bitch would hold a grudge.
445
00:26:40,300 --> 00:26:41,842
She retains everything else.
446
00:26:41,843 --> 00:26:44,219
Do I smell something burning?
447
00:26:44,220 --> 00:26:45,471
Is something burning?
448
00:26:45,472 --> 00:26:47,765
-It was me.
-It was you.
449
00:26:47,766 --> 00:26:50,893
The only way I'm going to get into
this ball is to be someone's 'plus one?'
450
00:26:50,894 --> 00:26:53,645
sorry. My ex won the
'plus one' in the divorce.
451
00:26:53,646 --> 00:26:55,064
Hey, guys.
452
00:26:55,065 --> 00:26:57,524
Teddy, darling, since when
did you start working here?
453
00:26:57,525 --> 00:26:59,151
Since I got frost bite at igloo.
454
00:26:59,152 --> 00:27:00,694
So, have you read my opus yet?
455
00:27:00,695 --> 00:27:02,154
I did. Yeah.
456
00:27:02,155 --> 00:27:04,448
In fact, I mailed it to the nea.
457
00:27:04,449 --> 00:27:07,201
No, but I wanted to proof
it! It's a $25,000 Grant.
458
00:27:07,202 --> 00:27:08,536
No need.
459
00:27:09,579 --> 00:27:11,580
Thanks, I guess.
460
00:27:11,581 --> 00:27:14,376
No thanks necessary, just sand-tinis.
461
00:27:15,919 --> 00:27:17,712
Coming right up.
462
00:27:18,505 --> 00:27:20,589
His book was terrible.
463
00:27:20,590 --> 00:27:23,717
So I just chucked it and
submitted my tax journal instead.
464
00:27:23,718 --> 00:27:25,010
You did what?
465
00:27:25,011 --> 00:27:28,471
At least someone has a chance
to win the twenty-five grand.
466
00:27:28,472 --> 00:27:32,517
Now believe me, I did
him and the nea a favor.
467
00:27:32,518 --> 00:27:35,853
-So now he owes you one?
-Precisely.
468
00:27:35,854 --> 00:27:37,605
It's too bad he didn't get
invited to the royal ball.
469
00:27:37,606 --> 00:27:40,983
Of course not. He's a nobody.
470
00:27:40,984 --> 00:27:42,443
-Oh my god!
-What?
471
00:27:42,444 --> 00:27:44,821
You just thought of a 'nobody'
who might actually be invited.
472
00:27:44,822 --> 00:27:45,905
Who?
473
00:27:45,906 --> 00:27:49,659
Bobby, my ex. He was
dove and Fawn's dealer.
474
00:27:49,660 --> 00:27:51,452
-Art?
-Drug.
475
00:27:51,453 --> 00:27:54,080
Don't you have a restraining
order against him, sweetie?
476
00:27:54,164 --> 00:27:56,958
Didn't he tattoo 'I love
Katya' on his back?
477
00:27:56,959 --> 00:27:59,210
He lasered that off I think.
478
00:27:59,211 --> 00:28:02,755
You know he's crazy for
you. Like literally crazy for you.
479
00:28:02,756 --> 00:28:06,134
You're no one in this town,
unless you have a stalker.
480
00:28:06,135 --> 00:28:08,010
Bobby, my actor ex-boyfriend...
481
00:28:08,011 --> 00:28:11,681
Played ewok 4 in return of
the Jedi with such promise.
482
00:28:11,682 --> 00:28:13,474
Now he's a rabbit.
483
00:28:13,475 --> 00:28:17,061
Want to come to my place
and hump like bunnies?
484
00:28:25,611 --> 00:28:27,654
You big silly rabbit...
485
00:28:27,655 --> 00:28:30,950
That's right, tricks are for Katya.
486
00:28:32,452 --> 00:28:36,329
Somebody's excited to see me, Bobby.
487
00:28:36,330 --> 00:28:37,789
Who's Bobby?
488
00:28:37,790 --> 00:28:40,584
-What?
-Who's Bobby?
489
00:28:40,585 --> 00:28:43,588
You're not Bobby? Get out!
490
00:28:48,509 --> 00:28:50,470
Why does this always happen to me?
491
00:28:55,475 --> 00:28:59,561
Bobby, darling, guess who?
492
00:28:59,562 --> 00:29:01,731
Want to come over tonight?
493
00:29:05,234 --> 00:29:09,737
Looks like Cinderella was
finally getting closer to her ball.
494
00:29:09,738 --> 00:29:11,739
My shrink said I shouldn't see you.
495
00:29:11,740 --> 00:29:15,451
-You're bad for my mental well being.
-He just wants your money.
496
00:29:15,452 --> 00:29:18,746
-You're not gonna call the cops...
-I invited you here.
497
00:29:18,747 --> 00:29:21,040
So how's the acting thing going?
498
00:29:21,041 --> 00:29:26,838
Real good. I got the
bunny character down.
499
00:29:45,315 --> 00:29:49,276
In rehab, they said sex might
not be the same without the drugs.
500
00:29:49,277 --> 00:29:52,279
-But with you, it's still magic.
-Rehab?
501
00:29:52,280 --> 00:29:54,949
Six months at healing
horizons. I'm clean as a whistle.
502
00:29:54,950 --> 00:29:58,743
-So, you don't deal anymore?
-No. I'm a changed man.
503
00:29:58,744 --> 00:30:00,870
So, you don't see dove and Fawn anymore?
504
00:30:00,871 --> 00:30:02,247
Those girls are bad news.
505
00:30:02,248 --> 00:30:04,916
So, you're not invited to the royal ball?
506
00:30:04,917 --> 00:30:07,419
No. What's with the inquisition, honey?
507
00:30:07,420 --> 00:30:08,753
Nothing.
508
00:30:08,754 --> 00:30:11,215
I just have a quick phone call to make.
509
00:30:12,967 --> 00:30:15,176
But I love you, Katya, I love you!
510
00:30:15,177 --> 00:30:17,053
-Thank you, officer.
-But you promised!
511
00:30:17,054 --> 00:30:18,430
Must find a new way into ball...
512
00:30:18,431 --> 00:30:20,849
As chariot just turned into pumpkin.
513
00:30:20,850 --> 00:30:24,227
No expenses worth reporting,
except for the cost of my dignity.
514
00:30:24,228 --> 00:30:27,939
-Could you shut the door?
-We'll always be together, forever.
515
00:30:27,940 --> 00:30:30,984
Knit, one. Pearl, two.
516
00:30:30,985 --> 00:30:33,653
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
517
00:30:33,654 --> 00:30:37,365
Wait! Organic prunes.
518
00:30:37,366 --> 00:30:40,618
-Organic prunes.
-That'll keep me regular.
519
00:30:40,619 --> 00:30:41,953
How was your date last night?
520
00:30:41,954 --> 00:30:44,164
It ended in handcuffs as usual. Yours?
521
00:30:44,165 --> 00:30:47,082
He broke his ankle, but
at least he's not suing.
522
00:30:47,083 --> 00:30:51,754
Look! You got a postcard from Sabelo!
523
00:30:51,755 --> 00:30:54,006
-Who?
-Your adopted son!
524
00:30:54,007 --> 00:30:56,383
I was wondering when he was
going to ask for more money.
525
00:30:56,384 --> 00:30:57,968
Listen, I'll be in my other office.
526
00:30:57,969 --> 00:31:00,763
You are not allowed
in Mr. Cosgrove's office!
527
00:31:00,764 --> 00:31:04,684
I need a moment alone with my son!
528
00:31:14,569 --> 00:31:19,156
Dear Katya, thank you for adopting me...
529
00:31:19,157 --> 00:31:22,910
And sending me your wonderful letter.
530
00:31:22,911 --> 00:31:24,661
You sound fun.
531
00:31:24,662 --> 00:31:29,124
Is it true that if I stopped
listening to the missionaries...
532
00:31:29,125 --> 00:31:31,668
I won't go hungry all the time...
533
00:31:31,669 --> 00:31:35,255
And could earn as much
money as you some day?
534
00:31:35,256 --> 00:31:37,965
Hope to hear from you soon.
535
00:31:37,966 --> 00:31:40,426
Love, Sabelo.
536
00:31:40,427 --> 00:31:43,138
P.s. Can I call you mommy?
537
00:31:45,140 --> 00:31:48,017
Look at that. That's where my son lives.
538
00:31:48,018 --> 00:31:50,353
Right there. Yes.
539
00:31:50,354 --> 00:31:52,939
You know what? You want a treat?
540
00:31:52,940 --> 00:31:56,567
I could be your mommy. Yeah, here you go.
541
00:31:56,568 --> 00:31:59,278
There you go. A treat for you.
542
00:31:59,279 --> 00:32:01,030
You know what you'd make?
543
00:32:01,031 --> 00:32:06,494
New shoes for Katya.
544
00:32:06,495 --> 00:32:08,413
Good morning, dear Sebastian.
545
00:32:08,414 --> 00:32:10,039
We've a very busy day ahead of us.
546
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:12,625
I need you to run down to the
bookstore and pick me up a copy...
547
00:32:12,626 --> 00:32:16,629
Of running a small
business for profit for my son.
548
00:32:16,630 --> 00:32:18,674
I don't think so.
549
00:32:22,594 --> 00:32:25,054
Do you know where Sebastian is?
550
00:32:25,055 --> 00:32:28,391
Say hello to the real Sebastian.
551
00:32:33,479 --> 00:32:35,772
What are you doing?
552
00:32:35,773 --> 00:32:39,651
I'm looking for the cameras...
553
00:32:39,652 --> 00:32:44,157
Katya, I'm dead serious.
554
00:32:45,199 --> 00:32:48,702
Look, Sebastian... Darling...
555
00:32:48,703 --> 00:32:50,412
You may be very good
at playing dress-up...
556
00:32:50,413 --> 00:32:53,750
But you have no idea
with whom you are dealing.
557
00:32:55,626 --> 00:32:58,253
What do you know about advertising?
558
00:32:58,254 --> 00:33:01,256
I know your position at liquid
requires the least amount of work...
559
00:33:01,257 --> 00:33:03,258
For the most amount of money.
560
00:33:03,259 --> 00:33:06,137
And I also know you won't
be in that position much longer.
561
00:33:09,098 --> 00:33:11,892
My cabana boy is trying to take my job!
562
00:33:11,893 --> 00:33:13,393
Can you imagine someone so ruthless...
563
00:33:13,394 --> 00:33:16,104
That they'd stab their
own mentor in the back?
564
00:33:16,105 --> 00:33:18,356
If I remember correctly,
that's how you got your...
565
00:33:18,357 --> 00:33:20,024
I'm not that worried about it.
566
00:33:20,025 --> 00:33:23,070
I could eat the twerp for lunch.
567
00:33:24,112 --> 00:33:26,156
Speaking of, let's take one.
568
00:33:31,286 --> 00:33:34,580
Are we really spending the
entire lunch hour in the elevator?
569
00:33:34,581 --> 00:33:35,873
He's bound to get on at some point.
570
00:33:35,874 --> 00:33:37,666
There's more than one elevator.
571
00:33:37,667 --> 00:33:41,087
Better odds than Vegas. Now
push four again. We're going down.
572
00:33:41,088 --> 00:33:42,671
But I get motion sickness.
573
00:33:42,672 --> 00:33:44,840
Isn't it easier to just
go to the fourth floor?
574
00:33:44,841 --> 00:33:49,553
And do what? Wander about
aimlessly? That's so desperate.
575
00:33:49,554 --> 00:33:53,099
And riding the elevator
hoping to run into him isn't?
576
00:33:53,100 --> 00:33:55,393
I don't think you're one to give
advice there, voodoo queen.
577
00:33:55,394 --> 00:33:56,937
Hello, fourth floor.
578
00:34:03,819 --> 00:34:05,403
Are you okay?
579
00:34:05,404 --> 00:34:07,446
I'm so embarrassed.
580
00:34:07,447 --> 00:34:10,365
No, it's fine. Can I get you anything?
581
00:34:10,366 --> 00:34:12,827
That's okay. That tie
would make me sick too.
582
00:34:13,911 --> 00:34:14,995
Thank you.
583
00:34:37,768 --> 00:34:39,519
Free seats.
584
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:42,522
Excuse me. Coming through.
585
00:34:42,523 --> 00:34:44,482
Ditch the umbrella. It is so last season.
586
00:34:44,483 --> 00:34:46,401
No I can't. I don't want
to get my sutures wet.
587
00:34:46,402 --> 00:34:48,528
Why would you do
that? Your pecs are fine!
588
00:34:48,529 --> 00:34:51,114
They are not fine. One was a
little bit bigger than the other one.
589
00:34:51,115 --> 00:34:54,701
I demand that you take
'extreme makeover' off your TiVo.
590
00:34:54,702 --> 00:34:56,327
You have developed
body dysmorphic disorder.
591
00:34:56,328 --> 00:34:57,412
I do not!
592
00:34:57,413 --> 00:35:00,874
Learn to love yourself and just
stop trying to be someone you're not.
593
00:35:02,584 --> 00:35:04,001
-No you didn't!
-Yes I did.
594
00:35:04,002 --> 00:35:05,919
-No you didn't, girl.
-Yes I did.
595
00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:08,714
Teddy, darling, when did
you start working here?
596
00:35:08,715 --> 00:35:10,424
Since I got skin cancer at dune.
597
00:35:10,425 --> 00:35:13,552
I have a great plastic surgeon, if
you ever need to get a mole removed.
598
00:35:13,553 --> 00:35:16,638
Thanks, but I can't afford
health insurance right now.
599
00:35:16,639 --> 00:35:19,892
So Katya, I called the nea.
600
00:35:19,893 --> 00:35:21,894
They never got my book.
601
00:35:21,895 --> 00:35:24,396
-What are you insinuating?
-Just drop it, Katya!
602
00:35:24,397 --> 00:35:26,899
I can see right through you!
603
00:35:26,900 --> 00:35:28,650
You think I want to be
slinging drinks my whole life?
604
00:35:28,651 --> 00:35:32,988
You're so good at it! Don't fight
that. Now can we have two rain-tinis?
605
00:35:32,989 --> 00:35:34,990
-You're cut off.
-What?
606
00:35:34,991 --> 00:35:36,951
You just lost your drinking privileges.
607
00:35:38,244 --> 00:35:39,745
What about me?
608
00:35:39,746 --> 00:35:41,373
You're with her.
609
00:35:43,208 --> 00:35:44,666
Thanks a lot. You see what you just did?
610
00:35:44,667 --> 00:35:47,920
-Sorry.
-I have major gossip!
611
00:35:47,921 --> 00:35:50,004
-About who?
-Dove Greenstein.
612
00:35:50,005 --> 00:35:51,631
My god! Tell me everything!
613
00:35:51,632 --> 00:35:53,675
I don't know. I'm not
one to spread rumors.
614
00:35:53,676 --> 00:35:56,626
Give it up or I will tell him
about your working class past!
615
00:35:58,889 --> 00:36:01,099
I thought you were a Princess from Korea?
616
00:36:01,100 --> 00:36:02,684
I am!
617
00:36:02,685 --> 00:36:05,937
Let's just say dove
has a hairy little secret.
618
00:36:05,938 --> 00:36:10,858
Dove not only is a brunette,
she's a virtual Sasquatch!
619
00:36:10,859 --> 00:36:13,528
She has a standing appointment
every Thursday at noon!
620
00:36:13,529 --> 00:36:16,322
She even gets her back done!
621
00:36:16,323 --> 00:36:18,282
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
622
00:36:18,283 --> 00:36:20,284
Blackmail the ape with
photographic evidence!
623
00:36:20,285 --> 00:36:22,620
-It's like we share a brain.
-I know.
624
00:36:22,621 --> 00:36:26,666
But you'll never get an
appointment. There's a waiting list.
625
00:36:26,667 --> 00:36:30,587
Don't worry, darling. Where
there's a will, there's a Katya.
626
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:42,724
Okay Karino, ciao.
627
00:36:45,393 --> 00:36:48,478
Hello, darling. We'd
like to get our hair done.
628
00:36:48,479 --> 00:36:50,772
Do you have an appointment?
629
00:36:50,773 --> 00:36:53,108
No. Did I need one?
630
00:36:53,109 --> 00:36:55,445
This is Arq. You need one six months ago.
631
00:36:56,904 --> 00:36:59,699
I'm sure you can make an exception?
632
00:37:00,908 --> 00:37:04,454
This is San Francisco,
sweetie. You're not my type.
633
00:37:07,290 --> 00:37:09,166
You're up.
634
00:37:09,167 --> 00:37:12,002
I'm sorry. You have to excuse
my friend. She's new in town.
635
00:37:12,003 --> 00:37:14,129
Obviously.
636
00:37:14,130 --> 00:37:16,673
But you and I both know
that a man in your position...
637
00:37:16,674 --> 00:37:19,761
Not's just going to bend the rules...
638
00:37:21,554 --> 00:37:24,891
I'm sorry, sweetie.
You're not my type, either.
639
00:37:33,857 --> 00:37:35,984
-Now what?
-Plan b.
640
00:37:37,861 --> 00:37:40,404
I don't think we've
actually been introduced.
641
00:37:40,405 --> 00:37:42,657
I'm Katya Livingston.
642
00:37:45,410 --> 00:37:49,872
Katya, my name is Geoffrey.
Very pleased to meet you.
643
00:37:49,873 --> 00:37:54,001
I think we have a
cancellation, right now.
644
00:37:54,002 --> 00:37:56,045
Look at that.
645
00:37:56,046 --> 00:37:59,716
You know something maybe
you are my type after all.
646
00:38:02,969 --> 00:38:04,346
This way.
647
00:38:05,722 --> 00:38:08,183
-Thank you.
-No problem.
648
00:38:16,316 --> 00:38:19,068
-Where are you doing in a smock?
-I'm having my eyebrows done.
649
00:38:19,069 --> 00:38:20,486
This is about work! Not primping!
650
00:38:20,487 --> 00:38:23,697
But there's a six month
waiting list to get into this place.
651
00:38:23,698 --> 00:38:27,450
If we're going to be undercover,
we should probably blend in here.
652
00:38:27,451 --> 00:38:28,660
-Good point.
-Of course it is.
653
00:38:28,661 --> 00:38:32,665
-She's undressing as we speak.
-There you go, sweetie. Good luck.
654
00:38:33,749 --> 00:38:36,626
You're going to get
some work on your brows?
655
00:38:36,627 --> 00:38:39,087
-Yes I am.
-Well I'm the receptionist...
656
00:38:39,088 --> 00:38:41,172
But I'm also the eyebrow specialist.
657
00:38:41,173 --> 00:38:44,175
-Fantastic.
-Would you like me to work on you?
658
00:38:44,176 --> 00:38:48,263
-I would.
-We're going to give you an arc.
659
00:38:48,264 --> 00:38:51,307
Maybe do some tweezing over here.
660
00:38:51,308 --> 00:38:54,270
I'm going to pluck you so good, papi.
661
00:38:55,312 --> 00:38:57,273
What are we waiting for?
662
00:38:58,524 --> 00:39:00,525
Right here, baby. This is my house.
663
00:39:00,526 --> 00:39:02,152
-This is your house?
-You're invited.
664
00:39:02,153 --> 00:39:08,658
We want to lighten the color of
your hair of your eyebrows a little bit.
665
00:39:08,659 --> 00:39:11,494
I want to feature these eyes.
666
00:39:11,495 --> 00:39:14,121
You have a beautiful face, you know.
667
00:39:14,122 --> 00:39:16,081
-Thank you.
-What was your name?
668
00:39:16,082 --> 00:39:20,795
-Ferguson.
-Ferguson, that's a beautiful name.
669
00:39:31,514 --> 00:39:32,974
That's fantastic.
670
00:39:37,103 --> 00:39:38,203
Can we help you, miss?
671
00:39:39,773 --> 00:39:41,857
I have a twelve o'clock appointment.
672
00:39:41,858 --> 00:39:44,778
It must be downstairs.
This is the VIP section.
673
00:39:45,862 --> 00:39:47,654
I am VIP.
674
00:39:47,655 --> 00:39:49,406
No, you're not. You're black.
675
00:39:49,407 --> 00:39:51,451
And VIPs are red.
676
00:39:53,370 --> 00:39:55,496
I must've grabbed the wrong smock.
677
00:39:55,497 --> 00:39:57,499
-Color blind.
-Nice try.
678
00:39:59,459 --> 00:40:00,418
My god.
679
00:40:03,253 --> 00:40:05,171
Is he going to go blind?
680
00:40:05,172 --> 00:40:08,508
Go! Hurry. I'll go with you.
681
00:40:08,509 --> 00:40:12,346
-Somebody help me!
-Keep going.
682
00:40:16,392 --> 00:40:17,558
You know what?
683
00:40:17,559 --> 00:40:20,144
I'm totally fine. It was
my fault. I'm so sorry.
684
00:40:20,145 --> 00:40:24,358
That was weird. I thought it
was burning. Well, I couldn't see...
685
00:40:26,402 --> 00:40:29,028
Helga, is that you?
686
00:40:29,029 --> 00:40:31,155
'Ja.'
687
00:40:31,156 --> 00:40:32,865
can we start with my back?
688
00:40:32,866 --> 00:40:35,744
I'm feeling really sensitive
today. So, please be gentle.
689
00:40:38,539 --> 00:40:40,791
I said gentle!
690
00:40:42,501 --> 00:40:44,627
Anyway, did I tell you about the...
691
00:40:44,628 --> 00:40:47,339
Party that I'm throwing...
692
00:40:49,925 --> 00:40:52,093
It's going to be totally insane.
693
00:40:52,094 --> 00:40:56,764
My daddy's hired these Israeli
army guys to keep out the trash.
694
00:40:58,474 --> 00:41:00,017
Seriously, Helga!
695
00:41:00,018 --> 00:41:01,226
At this rate I won't be
able to wear my backless!
696
00:41:01,227 --> 00:41:02,812
Say cheese!
697
00:41:04,439 --> 00:41:06,440
Katya Livingston? What
the hell are you doing?
698
00:41:06,441 --> 00:41:08,400
Getting photographic evidence.
699
00:41:08,401 --> 00:41:10,861
How dare you! Give me that photo.
700
00:41:10,862 --> 00:41:14,449
Relax, darling. It hasn't
even developed yet.
701
00:41:16,451 --> 00:41:17,784
What do you want?
702
00:41:17,785 --> 00:41:20,078
An invite to the royal ball.
703
00:41:20,079 --> 00:41:22,372
I already told you we have none.
704
00:41:22,373 --> 00:41:27,003
That's too bad. Good
headline: 'Missing link found!'
705
00:41:29,213 --> 00:41:31,382
fine. You win.
706
00:41:33,468 --> 00:41:37,721
Give me the Polaroid
and I'll give you the key.
707
00:41:37,722 --> 00:41:39,306
Do you think I was born yesterday?
708
00:41:39,307 --> 00:41:42,267
We do it at the same time. On three...
709
00:41:42,268 --> 00:41:45,102
One... two...
710
00:41:45,103 --> 00:41:48,731
On second thought, I don't want to trade.
711
00:41:48,732 --> 00:41:50,149
What? Why?
712
00:41:50,150 --> 00:41:53,778
Because you can't blackmail
someone when their face isn't in frame.
713
00:41:53,779 --> 00:41:56,280
Security!
714
00:41:56,281 --> 00:42:00,035
You know what? Watch it, I bruise easily.
715
00:42:01,078 --> 00:42:03,538
Could this day get any worse?
716
00:42:04,664 --> 00:42:07,124
I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
717
00:42:07,125 --> 00:42:10,294
-Fine.
-I'm sorry, it's one of those days.
718
00:42:10,295 --> 00:42:12,630
Tell me about it.
719
00:42:12,631 --> 00:42:14,465
It's a nice Gucci.
720
00:42:14,466 --> 00:42:16,717
Thank you.
721
00:42:16,718 --> 00:42:18,928
Not only do you have exquisite taste...
722
00:42:18,929 --> 00:42:23,557
But you're possibly the most
beautiful woman I've ever seen.
723
00:42:23,558 --> 00:42:25,185
Your lips...
724
00:42:26,228 --> 00:42:28,438
Eyes...
725
00:42:30,524 --> 00:42:31,942
Hair...
726
00:42:35,027 --> 00:42:37,153
Where are you going?
727
00:42:37,154 --> 00:42:39,156
It looks good.
728
00:42:54,213 --> 00:42:56,132
Hello, ladies.
729
00:42:59,176 --> 00:43:03,347
Gatekeeper, nair will help
take care of that problem.
730
00:43:04,682 --> 00:43:08,059
Katya! I just received a
phone call from youth aid.
731
00:43:08,060 --> 00:43:10,353
Thanking me for my contribution?
732
00:43:10,354 --> 00:43:11,688
Not exactly.
733
00:43:11,689 --> 00:43:15,191
You're not supposed to
display your wealth to Sabelo...
734
00:43:15,192 --> 00:43:17,402
In such an ostentatious manner.
735
00:43:17,403 --> 00:43:20,530
Ostentatious? I was just
trying to bond with the little tyke.
736
00:43:20,531 --> 00:43:23,783
But discussing your six-figure salary...
737
00:43:23,784 --> 00:43:26,234
Will only make him feel
discontented with his lot.
738
00:43:28,121 --> 00:43:32,291
He lives in a shack with no
air conditioning, DSL, or TiVo!
739
00:43:32,292 --> 00:43:35,295
I can't make him feel any
more discontented than he is!
740
00:43:37,047 --> 00:43:39,090
Jenga!
741
00:43:47,515 --> 00:43:48,767
Boring...
742
00:43:53,396 --> 00:43:55,105
Dear mommy...
743
00:43:55,106 --> 00:44:00,569
Thank you for the book on
how to run a small business.
744
00:44:00,570 --> 00:44:03,072
I started making toy cars...
745
00:44:03,073 --> 00:44:05,657
Out of scrap metal.
746
00:44:05,658 --> 00:44:11,580
Do you think San Francisco
would make a good export market?
747
00:44:11,581 --> 00:44:14,958
And could you introduce
me to Lee Iacocca?
748
00:44:17,127 --> 00:44:19,837
I did corrupt my little orphan!
749
00:44:19,838 --> 00:44:22,549
Katya, could you come in here, please?
750
00:44:26,720 --> 00:44:27,888
What's the matter?
751
00:44:29,264 --> 00:44:31,099
Cuddles died.
752
00:44:31,100 --> 00:44:32,392
Who?
753
00:44:32,393 --> 00:44:35,436
Cuddles... cuddles...
My little new friend.
754
00:44:35,437 --> 00:44:37,105
My little iguana.
755
00:44:37,106 --> 00:44:39,732
How could he die? He was so healthy.
756
00:44:39,733 --> 00:44:43,528
But he was fine yesterday
when I was in here.
757
00:44:43,529 --> 00:44:47,491
Before the accounting
lady came in right after.
758
00:44:49,201 --> 00:44:50,410
So...
759
00:44:50,411 --> 00:44:51,786
Kahlua called.
760
00:44:51,787 --> 00:44:54,330
They're extremely happy
with the unleash ya campaign.
761
00:44:54,331 --> 00:44:55,791
Good for Katya.
762
00:44:57,209 --> 00:45:00,461
And rice-a-roni. How's that going?
763
00:45:00,462 --> 00:45:05,757
Great. I've been working day and night.
764
00:45:05,758 --> 00:45:09,469
I even bought a gown for the clios.
765
00:45:09,470 --> 00:45:13,974
Fabulous. I can always
count on your consistency.
766
00:45:13,975 --> 00:45:19,731
Now, if you'll excuse me...
I have a funeral to arrange.
767
00:45:25,778 --> 00:45:28,488
You've reached Katya. I'm
out doing something fabulous.
768
00:45:28,489 --> 00:45:32,159
So I'll get back to you
when I'm bored, maybe.
769
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:35,954
Katya, this is Charles
Fitz calling, Eliza's attorney.
770
00:45:35,955 --> 00:45:40,167
I don't usually do these things.
771
00:45:40,168 --> 00:45:44,921
But I'm doing it. So, give
me a call when you're 'bored'.
772
00:45:44,922 --> 00:45:48,175
And I can promise you a nice night out.
773
00:45:48,176 --> 00:45:52,346
Give me a call. Talk to
you soon, hopefully. Bye.
774
00:45:52,347 --> 00:45:55,807
Sorry, Charlie. I don't think
I'll ever be quite that bored.
775
00:45:57,893 --> 00:45:59,311
I think that went well.
776
00:46:03,357 --> 00:46:06,692
I can't believe you gave your
attorney my phone number!
777
00:46:06,693 --> 00:46:09,111
Trust me, I think you'll really like him.
778
00:46:09,112 --> 00:46:12,198
I told you, he's not my type.
779
00:46:12,199 --> 00:46:15,451
He has two tickets to the royal ball.
780
00:46:15,452 --> 00:46:18,871
Maybe he is! Why
didn't you tell me sooner?
781
00:46:18,872 --> 00:46:21,916
Because I want you to like him for him.
782
00:46:21,917 --> 00:46:26,295
What is more important?
True love or some party?
783
00:46:26,296 --> 00:46:29,924
You know what, never
mind, don't answer that.
784
00:46:29,925 --> 00:46:33,552
Charles, it's Katya
Livingston, Eliza's friend.
785
00:46:33,553 --> 00:46:36,514
Listen, I got your message
and would love to meet.
786
00:46:36,515 --> 00:46:40,810
How 'bout Wednesday night
at Mario's on north beach?
787
00:46:40,811 --> 00:46:45,232
Eight o'clock. Really
looking forward to it. Bye.
788
00:46:47,983 --> 00:46:50,235
What are you doing?
789
00:46:50,236 --> 00:46:53,405
I'm working. You should
really try that sometime.
790
00:46:53,406 --> 00:46:54,906
Look, give it up, Sebastian.
791
00:46:54,907 --> 00:46:57,075
While I was working on the
'got milk?' Campaign with Lyle...
792
00:46:57,076 --> 00:47:00,662
You were still doing
beer bongs in your frat.
793
00:47:00,663 --> 00:47:04,082
Trust me, you are no competition.
794
00:47:04,083 --> 00:47:06,627
We'll just have to see about that.
795
00:47:10,464 --> 00:47:13,384
You do know that your
name is a hair product?
796
00:47:15,219 --> 00:47:16,887
Just saying.
797
00:47:27,189 --> 00:47:29,107
So, is that dinner?
798
00:47:29,108 --> 00:47:31,569
No. Work.
799
00:47:36,948 --> 00:47:39,241
What are you doing?
Why'd you stop the elevator?
800
00:47:39,242 --> 00:47:41,285
I'm inviting you to dinner.
801
00:47:41,286 --> 00:47:43,747
Really? I thought you
were taking me hostage.
802
00:47:45,415 --> 00:47:48,292
If you come to dinner,
I'll start the elevator.
803
00:47:48,293 --> 00:47:49,626
That's blackmail.
804
00:47:49,627 --> 00:47:53,464
I prefer to call it negotiation.
805
00:47:53,465 --> 00:47:55,508
Okay, you win.
806
00:48:00,972 --> 00:48:03,140
By the way, I'm Chuck.
807
00:48:03,141 --> 00:48:04,100
Katya.
808
00:48:05,643 --> 00:48:08,521
-Did you say Katya?
-Yes. It's French.
809
00:48:09,564 --> 00:48:11,982
So, where do you want to go?
810
00:48:11,983 --> 00:48:14,110
I know the perfect place.
811
00:48:16,821 --> 00:48:20,699
Where are you taking me?
Is this the short cut to postrio?
812
00:48:20,700 --> 00:48:23,327
Postrio? Not exactly.
813
00:48:23,328 --> 00:48:24,495
So, where are we?
814
00:48:24,496 --> 00:48:26,247
Bon appetit.
815
00:48:28,332 --> 00:48:29,874
You're kidding, right?
816
00:48:29,875 --> 00:48:34,545
Would I kid about hot dogs in the park?
817
00:48:34,546 --> 00:48:38,633
Besides, look around,
this place is beautiful.
818
00:48:38,634 --> 00:48:41,427
And here I was thinking you
were an Armani wearing...
819
00:48:41,428 --> 00:48:43,680
Four star restaurant kind of guy?
820
00:48:43,681 --> 00:48:45,682
I am.
821
00:48:45,683 --> 00:48:48,184
But I like this place. It's special.
822
00:48:48,185 --> 00:48:50,520
You know, I come here to think sometimes.
823
00:48:50,521 --> 00:48:52,814
I go to Gucci for that.
824
00:48:52,815 --> 00:48:54,982
Different kind of thinking.
825
00:48:54,983 --> 00:48:56,275
What can I get you?
826
00:48:56,276 --> 00:48:59,404
Hot dog. Ketchup, mustard, no onions.
827
00:48:59,405 --> 00:49:02,031
Make it two. And definitely no onions.
828
00:49:02,032 --> 00:49:03,741
No problem.
829
00:49:03,742 --> 00:49:05,995
Keeping your options open?
830
00:49:08,872 --> 00:49:10,666
Thanks.
831
00:49:12,376 --> 00:49:14,003
Thanks.
832
00:49:15,129 --> 00:49:16,796
I can't believe we actually got a table.
833
00:49:16,797 --> 00:49:18,505
I hear there's a month long
waiting list for this place.
834
00:49:18,506 --> 00:49:19,965
I know the maitre'd.
835
00:49:19,966 --> 00:49:21,258
Very impressive.
836
00:49:21,259 --> 00:49:23,677
I'm very well connected.
837
00:49:23,678 --> 00:49:27,514
So, are you always this
extravagant on your first dates?
838
00:49:27,515 --> 00:49:29,017
Are you calling this a date?
839
00:49:31,227 --> 00:49:35,689
Actually, to tell you the truth,
I've sort of been off dating lately.
840
00:49:35,690 --> 00:49:37,608
Really? How come?
841
00:49:38,735 --> 00:49:41,611
Bunch of disastrous experiences.
842
00:49:41,612 --> 00:49:42,905
I can't relate.
843
00:49:45,325 --> 00:49:47,784
I'm kidding.
844
00:49:47,785 --> 00:49:51,621
My ex-boyfriend wore a
bunny suit for his day job.
845
00:49:51,622 --> 00:49:52,831
That's sexy.
846
00:49:52,832 --> 00:49:56,293
Not so much, no.
847
00:49:56,294 --> 00:49:59,588
Let's hear one of your war stories.
848
00:49:59,589 --> 00:50:03,425
Well, it's not like that, actually...
849
00:50:03,426 --> 00:50:06,636
I would date these women
who seemed amazing...
850
00:50:06,637 --> 00:50:09,638
On paper. I have my list.
851
00:50:09,639 --> 00:50:13,768
But then it seemed like all I
was doing was dating a checklist.
852
00:50:13,769 --> 00:50:16,270
Well, there's nothing wrong
with having high standards.
853
00:50:16,271 --> 00:50:17,605
I know I do.
854
00:50:17,606 --> 00:50:21,485
But I think it's what's not
on the list that I'm looking for.
855
00:50:23,111 --> 00:50:26,405
If that makes any sense...
856
00:50:26,406 --> 00:50:29,075
I guess.
857
00:50:29,076 --> 00:50:30,618
Would you excuse me for a second?
858
00:50:30,619 --> 00:50:32,244
I just remembered I
have to make a quick call...
859
00:50:32,245 --> 00:50:34,206
Someone at work.
860
00:50:48,095 --> 00:50:50,137
-Sorry about that.
-That's okay.
861
00:50:50,138 --> 00:50:52,473
You got...
862
00:50:52,474 --> 00:50:55,686
It's just mustard.
863
00:50:57,979 --> 00:50:59,646
I guess it's better
than the foils in the hair.
864
00:50:59,647 --> 00:51:02,858
But still somehow I wish
it had gone differently.
865
00:51:04,777 --> 00:51:06,319
You want to make a wish?
866
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:09,656
I think I still have some
change left over for dessert.
867
00:51:09,657 --> 00:51:11,701
Here. Knock yourself out.
868
00:51:15,037 --> 00:51:17,455
And that's what you call making a wish?
869
00:51:17,456 --> 00:51:21,210
Your eyes open, sort of
hap-hazard toss into the...
870
00:51:22,253 --> 00:51:23,712
There's no feeling in that.
871
00:51:23,713 --> 00:51:26,506
I mean you don't close your
eyes when you're making a wish?
872
00:51:26,507 --> 00:51:28,634
It's not going to come true.
873
00:51:32,346 --> 00:51:33,805
You're going to have to do it again.
874
00:51:33,806 --> 00:51:34,931
What?
875
00:51:34,932 --> 00:51:36,975
What are you doing?
876
00:51:36,976 --> 00:51:40,521
Well, the quarter's not
going to get itself, right?
877
00:51:41,689 --> 00:51:43,149
You're crazy.
878
00:51:45,568 --> 00:51:47,027
What if it's cold?
879
00:51:47,028 --> 00:51:49,320
Well, I think it's going to be.
880
00:51:49,321 --> 00:51:51,489
I'm pretty sure it is.
881
00:51:56,369 --> 00:51:58,455
Where's that quarter.
882
00:52:05,628 --> 00:52:07,005
My wish already came true.
883
00:52:11,551 --> 00:52:13,218
Dance with me?
884
00:52:13,219 --> 00:52:15,095
I'd love to.
885
00:52:15,096 --> 00:52:19,351
But I always adhere to the dress code.
886
00:52:29,653 --> 00:52:32,614
It's cold, put this on.
887
00:52:34,949 --> 00:52:36,868
Miss...
888
00:53:11,151 --> 00:53:12,860
Well, I guess I better go inside...
889
00:53:12,861 --> 00:53:15,363
Before this officially becomes a date.
890
00:53:15,364 --> 00:53:18,283
Don't worry about it.
I've given up on dating.
891
00:53:41,973 --> 00:53:44,600
-That was...
-Amazing.
892
00:53:48,646 --> 00:53:50,731
What are you doing Wednesday?
893
00:53:50,732 --> 00:53:53,317
I promise I'll take you
to a proper restaurant.
894
00:53:53,318 --> 00:53:55,277
But first, there's something
you should know...
895
00:53:55,278 --> 00:53:58,238
This Wednesday?
896
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:00,741
-Hot date?
-Hardly.
897
00:54:00,742 --> 00:54:03,160
It's this dreadful set-up
through a co-worker.
898
00:54:03,161 --> 00:54:06,830
I already committed.
899
00:54:06,831 --> 00:54:09,875
-Listen, Katya...
-I know what you're going to say.
900
00:54:09,876 --> 00:54:13,253
How could I possibly go on
another date after tonight?
901
00:54:13,254 --> 00:54:17,550
Don't worry about it. I just
need a ticket to some ball.
902
00:54:22,346 --> 00:54:24,638
Well, here's your jacket.
903
00:54:24,639 --> 00:54:27,100
Good night, Chuck.
904
00:54:38,528 --> 00:54:40,614
Good night, miss Livingston.
905
00:55:11,686 --> 00:55:13,853
Katya, it's Chuck.
906
00:55:13,854 --> 00:55:15,230
We're on our date right now.
907
00:55:15,231 --> 00:55:18,233
I don't think you
realize that I'm the guy...
908
00:55:18,234 --> 00:55:21,319
That Eliza set you up with Charles Fitz.
909
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:24,239
I thought it would be more
fun to leave you this message...
910
00:55:24,240 --> 00:55:26,241
Than to tell you in person.
911
00:55:26,242 --> 00:55:28,326
I'm having a great time.
912
00:55:28,327 --> 00:55:31,287
I can't wait to see you Wednesday!
913
00:55:31,288 --> 00:55:32,999
Shit!
914
00:55:34,250 --> 00:55:36,419
Okay, I deserved that.
915
00:55:55,479 --> 00:55:58,440
If you're trying to kill
yourself can I go with you?
916
00:55:58,441 --> 00:56:00,899
Sure. There's plenty of
rope here, I'll tie you up too.
917
00:56:00,900 --> 00:56:02,234
What's wrong?
918
00:56:02,235 --> 00:56:05,279
What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong.
919
00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:07,239
While you were getting
manhandled by security...
920
00:56:07,240 --> 00:56:09,283
I ran into Geoffrey, you
know, that guy I like...
921
00:56:09,284 --> 00:56:11,201
Does the little eyebrow thingy...
922
00:56:11,202 --> 00:56:14,955
We got to talking and I
gave him my number...
923
00:56:14,956 --> 00:56:17,458
And then he never called me.
924
00:56:17,459 --> 00:56:19,409
Do you want me to make you feel better?
925
00:56:21,296 --> 00:56:23,922
Not only am I not
going to the royal ball...
926
00:56:23,923 --> 00:56:26,760
But I just blew it with
Thor-slash-Charles!
927
00:56:29,304 --> 00:56:31,848
He knows I was just in it for the ticket.
928
00:56:33,391 --> 00:56:35,476
That's pretty bad, baby.
929
00:56:35,477 --> 00:56:37,102
You're probably never
going to hear from him again.
930
00:56:37,103 --> 00:56:39,229
Fergie!
931
00:56:39,230 --> 00:56:40,939
I'm just being honest with you.
932
00:56:40,940 --> 00:56:44,151
God, some gay best friend you are!
933
00:56:44,152 --> 00:56:45,736
Come on now.
934
00:56:45,737 --> 00:56:49,073
Your making your little
pouty face, aren't you?
935
00:56:49,074 --> 00:56:50,532
Want me to give you a hug?
936
00:56:50,533 --> 00:56:53,076
I'll give you a hug. I'm
going to make you feel better.
937
00:56:53,077 --> 00:56:57,747
-I'll take away all your pain...
-What is that?
938
00:56:57,748 --> 00:56:59,290
My god!
939
00:56:59,291 --> 00:57:01,209
This? I was going to tell you about this.
940
00:57:01,210 --> 00:57:02,669
When were you going to tell me about it?
941
00:57:02,670 --> 00:57:04,879
What are you doing with that?
I was gonna tell you about it.
942
00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:09,008
But I was afraid because you
haven't been thinking clearly lately.
943
00:57:09,009 --> 00:57:10,843
Put the invite down
and no one will get hurt.
944
00:57:10,844 --> 00:57:12,845
What are you doing? Put that down!
945
00:57:12,846 --> 00:57:14,639
Alright, you're acting like a lunatic.
946
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:16,890
Put that down right
now. This is not worth it.
947
00:57:22,189 --> 00:57:25,274
Speak for yourself.
948
00:57:25,275 --> 00:57:26,610
Come on now, sweetie.
949
00:57:28,862 --> 00:57:30,155
Sweetie...
950
00:57:36,578 --> 00:57:38,329
Late for work, because
stayed up all night...
951
00:57:38,330 --> 00:57:41,082
Trying to figure out how
to apologize to Charles...
952
00:57:41,083 --> 00:57:43,542
Without actually having to say I'm sorry.
953
00:57:43,543 --> 00:57:45,836
Forgive me balloons:
Seventy-five dollars.
954
00:57:45,837 --> 00:57:47,713
Box of truffles: Fifty dollars.
955
00:57:47,714 --> 00:57:51,883
Strip-o-gram and lap
dance: 125 dollars plus tip.
956
00:57:51,884 --> 00:57:53,469
Yet still...
957
00:57:57,557 --> 00:58:00,225
Katya, where have you been?
958
00:58:00,226 --> 00:58:04,062
The rice-a-roni suits have
been waiting for over an hour!
959
00:58:04,063 --> 00:58:05,772
-Rice-a-roni?
-Rice-a-roni.
960
00:58:05,773 --> 00:58:08,442
The San Francisco treat.
961
00:58:08,443 --> 00:58:10,527
Rice-a-roni. The San Francisco treat.
962
00:58:10,528 --> 00:58:13,781
-You better get in there.
-Think. Think...
963
00:58:17,076 --> 00:58:19,037
Thank you.
964
00:58:21,372 --> 00:58:23,874
Could you help me with something?
965
00:58:23,875 --> 00:58:26,209
-Me, help you?
-Don't be difficult.
966
00:58:26,210 --> 00:58:27,794
Alright.
967
00:58:27,795 --> 00:58:29,588
You could have at
least said pretty please.
968
00:58:29,589 --> 00:58:31,923
Anyway, my wife and I, we were dancing...
969
00:58:31,924 --> 00:58:34,091
We had a good time over there at clover.
970
00:58:34,092 --> 00:58:35,968
I know you've heard of
clover, it's a great restaurant.
971
00:58:35,969 --> 00:58:39,555
But not well known for their rice pilaf.
972
00:58:39,556 --> 00:58:41,599
-Thank god!
-Sorry I'm late.
973
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:44,060
I had an emergency. With my son.
974
00:58:44,061 --> 00:58:45,436
I thought your son was in Africa?
975
00:58:45,437 --> 00:58:47,287
You want to visit? I could arrange it.
976
00:58:48,857 --> 00:58:51,735
Rice-a-roni...
977
00:58:53,779 --> 00:58:55,821
The San Francisco treat.
978
00:58:55,822 --> 00:58:59,200
It's catchy. And it's worked for you.
979
00:58:59,201 --> 00:59:01,118
Probably still does.
980
00:59:01,119 --> 00:59:04,914
But why alienate the whole country?
981
00:59:04,915 --> 00:59:06,540
So here's what I'm thinking...
982
00:59:06,541 --> 00:59:10,045
Rice-a-roni, the New York treat.
983
00:59:11,713 --> 00:59:13,839
Right there.
984
00:59:13,840 --> 00:59:16,093
The Chicago treat.
985
00:59:19,388 --> 00:59:21,848
The Kenosha treat!
986
00:59:23,557 --> 00:59:24,975
What are you getting at?
987
00:59:24,976 --> 00:59:31,147
Rice-a-roni has been enjoyed
by Americans from the mid-west...
988
00:59:31,148 --> 00:59:32,649
To the rocky mountains.
989
00:59:32,650 --> 00:59:35,276
And what America
really needs right now...
990
00:59:35,277 --> 00:59:37,445
Is a treat.
991
00:59:37,446 --> 00:59:40,573
So your new slogan...
992
00:59:40,574 --> 00:59:45,413
'Rice-a-roni, the American treat!'
993
00:59:48,416 --> 00:59:50,710
god bless America!
994
00:59:55,548 --> 00:59:58,426
That's it? That's your pitch?
995
01:00:00,344 --> 01:00:04,306
Do you have any creative ideas?
996
01:00:04,307 --> 01:00:08,643
It's Katya Livingston, of
course she has creative ideas.
997
01:00:08,644 --> 01:00:11,354
We're going to run a few
more things up the flag pole.
998
01:00:11,355 --> 01:00:17,318
Why don't you parade out some
of the other great, marvelous ideas.
999
01:00:17,319 --> 01:00:20,154
The ideas that I have,
because I have tons...
1000
01:00:20,155 --> 01:00:23,824
There's something I'd like
to present, if I could, please.
1001
01:00:23,825 --> 01:00:25,659
It's not what we scheduled.
1002
01:00:25,660 --> 01:00:28,203
Well get on with it. Go.
1003
01:00:28,204 --> 01:00:30,915
We're just warming you up.
1004
01:00:45,722 --> 01:00:49,391
Rice. It's gotten a bad rap as of lately.
1005
01:00:49,392 --> 01:00:54,313
Lumped together with it's evil
stepsisters bread and pasta...
1006
01:00:54,314 --> 01:00:57,691
Rice is considered to be
just another carbohydrate.
1007
01:00:57,692 --> 01:01:01,737
A grain pushed aside
in our quest to be thin.
1008
01:01:01,738 --> 01:01:04,238
But wait. There's good news, folks!
1009
01:01:04,239 --> 01:01:08,661
Rice is not as bad as
its carbohydrate relatives.
1010
01:01:09,787 --> 01:01:12,538
Your product, simply
distinguished from its relatives...
1011
01:01:12,539 --> 01:01:16,000
A lower carb alternative!
1012
01:01:16,001 --> 01:01:19,296
'Rice-a-roni, the nice rice!'
1013
01:01:21,131 --> 01:01:22,965
the nice rice?
1014
01:01:22,966 --> 01:01:26,971
The nice rice.
1015
01:01:35,896 --> 01:01:37,231
We love it!
1016
01:01:57,041 --> 01:01:59,418
It's the first campaign
one that I haven't nailed.
1017
01:01:59,419 --> 01:02:02,170
Nailed? Honey, you didn't even
have the hammer in your hand.
1018
01:02:02,171 --> 01:02:03,422
You tanked it.
1019
01:02:03,423 --> 01:02:05,298
I'm sorry. I don't know what happened.
1020
01:02:05,299 --> 01:02:06,967
Let me see if I can illuminate you.
1021
01:02:06,968 --> 01:02:08,760
While he was busy working his ass off...
1022
01:02:08,761 --> 01:02:10,137
You were at the beauty parlor.
1023
01:02:10,138 --> 01:02:12,723
Or you were making 300 dollars
a month worth of phone calls...
1024
01:02:12,724 --> 01:02:14,766
To the California state
correctional institute...
1025
01:02:14,767 --> 01:02:16,768
Speaking to god knows who.
1026
01:02:16,769 --> 01:02:20,315
Or you were taking a smoking
break and you don't even smoke!
1027
01:02:25,445 --> 01:02:28,448
Yes. It's him.
1028
01:02:30,074 --> 01:02:31,784
Thank you.
1029
01:02:35,288 --> 01:02:38,206
As if this day could get any worse...
1030
01:02:38,207 --> 01:02:41,001
Cuddles was murdered.
1031
01:02:41,002 --> 01:02:43,503
Poisoned. Just like the goldfish.
1032
01:02:43,504 --> 01:02:46,630
Some idiot gave that poor iguana prunes.
1033
01:02:46,631 --> 01:02:49,175
-Prunes?
-Yes prunes.
1034
01:02:49,176 --> 01:02:51,719
Who'd be stupid enough
to do something like that?
1035
01:02:51,720 --> 01:02:54,263
Wait, Katya, didn't Eliza
give you prunes the other day?
1036
01:02:54,264 --> 01:02:56,849
I only eat soup.
1037
01:02:56,850 --> 01:02:58,434
Campbell's select, of course.
1038
01:02:58,435 --> 01:02:59,894
Did you have something to do with this?
1039
01:02:59,895 --> 01:03:02,938
Come on Lyle, you know me.
1040
01:03:02,939 --> 01:03:07,151
I'm a humanitarian. I
mean I love animals.
1041
01:03:07,152 --> 01:03:08,903
Katya, I don't know you anymore.
1042
01:03:08,904 --> 01:03:11,947
The Katya that I know
went to Stanford university.
1043
01:03:11,948 --> 01:03:14,492
But when I called there and
checked with the alumni office...
1044
01:03:14,493 --> 01:03:15,660
Do you know what they told me?
1045
01:03:15,661 --> 01:03:18,496
They said Katya Livingston
never even attended the school.
1046
01:03:18,497 --> 01:03:20,665
You were checking up on me?
1047
01:03:20,666 --> 01:03:22,459
I encouraged him to call.
1048
01:03:23,669 --> 01:03:27,297
Katya, you're fired.
1049
01:03:30,175 --> 01:03:31,926
But I'm Katya Livingston.
1050
01:03:31,927 --> 01:03:33,594
And you're not going
to talk your way out of it.
1051
01:03:33,595 --> 01:03:35,345
I am the best in the business.
1052
01:03:35,346 --> 01:03:37,722
I sold shampoo to the bald...
1053
01:03:37,723 --> 01:03:39,641
Sneakers to amputees...
1054
01:03:39,642 --> 01:03:43,228
And contact lenses to the blind.
1055
01:03:43,229 --> 01:03:45,855
I am the Katya Livingston.
1056
01:03:45,856 --> 01:03:48,733
Who is still fired. Now
go clean out your desk.
1057
01:03:48,734 --> 01:03:51,584
I'm going to have security
escort you out of the building.
1058
01:03:52,196 --> 01:03:53,530
Fine!
1059
01:03:53,531 --> 01:03:57,076
But without me, liquid will evaporate.
1060
01:04:10,381 --> 01:04:15,094
Sabelo. Mommy will take good care of you.
1061
01:04:18,931 --> 01:04:20,849
That was security.
1062
01:04:20,850 --> 01:04:23,435
They're on their way
up to escort you out.
1063
01:04:23,436 --> 01:04:24,769
I won't even have time to mail these.
1064
01:04:24,770 --> 01:04:29,023
That's okay. I'll do it for you.
1065
01:04:29,024 --> 01:04:30,692
You hate me.
1066
01:04:31,901 --> 01:04:33,527
Maybe a little.
1067
01:04:33,528 --> 01:04:37,073
But now that you're
fired, you're not so bad.
1068
01:04:39,659 --> 01:04:42,745
Can I just have a minute,
please? I bruise easily.
1069
01:04:42,746 --> 01:04:46,206
I'll get them to send
your stuff to your house.
1070
01:04:46,207 --> 01:04:48,209
Thanks.
1071
01:04:49,294 --> 01:04:53,922
Why don't you just keep this? I
never put anything in it anyway.
1072
01:04:53,923 --> 01:04:56,718
-Thanks.
-That's okay.
1073
01:04:59,596 --> 01:05:02,307
Do you guys work everywhere?
1074
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:05,351
In reaction to losing six figure job...
1075
01:05:05,352 --> 01:05:07,061
I decided that life was too short...
1076
01:05:07,062 --> 01:05:08,896
And celebrated birthday early.
1077
01:05:08,897 --> 01:05:12,107
But since only one unemployed,
had to celebrate alone.
1078
01:05:12,108 --> 01:05:15,861
Loneliness led to utter boredom,
which can be very costly...
1079
01:05:15,862 --> 01:05:17,904
Richard Tyler gown: Three grand.
1080
01:05:17,905 --> 01:05:20,740
Bejewelled Jimmy Choos:
One thousand five hundred.
1081
01:05:20,741 --> 01:05:24,535
Have successfully bought couture
to party I'm still not invited to.
1082
01:05:24,536 --> 01:05:27,664
Getting in touch with
inner child: $22.50.
1083
01:05:27,665 --> 01:05:30,291
Due to lack of job and
aforementioned shopping spree...
1084
01:05:30,292 --> 01:05:31,751
Can't afford to pay rent.
1085
01:05:31,752 --> 01:05:34,921
Thank god I'm subletting
and name's not on the lease.
1086
01:05:34,922 --> 01:05:38,425
Must do something to pull
self out of doom and gloom.
1087
01:05:55,401 --> 01:05:57,944
You in the middle?
1088
01:05:57,945 --> 01:06:00,571
Katya. How'd you get in here?
1089
01:06:00,572 --> 01:06:02,657
I bribed the receptionist.
1090
01:06:02,658 --> 01:06:04,742
How resourceful of you.
1091
01:06:04,743 --> 01:06:07,161
I see you got my balloons.
1092
01:06:08,496 --> 01:06:09,788
I assumed you were angry at me...
1093
01:06:09,789 --> 01:06:11,623
Because I didn't want
to go out with you...
1094
01:06:11,624 --> 01:06:13,000
Because I needed to go
out with the other you...
1095
01:06:13,001 --> 01:06:14,501
In order to nab the ticket to the ball.
1096
01:06:14,502 --> 01:06:17,004
I don't have time for this.
1097
01:06:17,005 --> 01:06:20,173
And honestly, you don't have to explain.
1098
01:06:20,174 --> 01:06:22,634
I don't have to explain?
1099
01:06:22,635 --> 01:06:24,886
Of course I don't. You tricked me.
1100
01:06:24,887 --> 01:06:27,431
Tricked you? I was just
having a little harmless fun...
1101
01:06:27,432 --> 01:06:29,933
And when I go to come clean,
you completely cut me off.
1102
01:06:29,934 --> 01:06:32,853
Like you didn't have the entire
night to tell me who you were.
1103
01:06:32,854 --> 01:06:34,563
You set me up for this.
1104
01:06:34,564 --> 01:06:38,150
Please, but you know what?
I'm glad I didn't come clean.
1105
01:06:38,151 --> 01:06:39,776
Because then I got to know the real you.
1106
01:06:39,777 --> 01:06:42,321
And the you that I
went to the park with...
1107
01:06:42,322 --> 01:06:46,492
Is not the you who'd use someone
to gain entry into a ridiculous party.
1108
01:06:49,245 --> 01:06:53,207
But if you want the
invitation so badly, fine.
1109
01:06:55,960 --> 01:06:57,210
There you go.
1110
01:07:00,172 --> 01:07:02,049
Wrong you.
1111
01:07:16,938 --> 01:07:19,607
Regret not grabbing
ticket when had the chance.
1112
01:07:19,608 --> 01:07:22,068
Almost led to something
more regrettable...
1113
01:07:22,069 --> 01:07:24,905
A mall makeover.
1114
01:07:29,660 --> 01:07:33,788
Trench coat and fedora to obtain
unemployment check incognito:
1115
01:07:33,789 --> 01:07:36,708
Two hundred twenty dollars.
1116
01:07:43,757 --> 01:07:47,176
Silver lining to stormy
cloud: Winning nea Grant.
1117
01:07:47,177 --> 01:07:48,927
Now can afford to pay debts.
1118
01:07:48,928 --> 01:07:53,014
However, still have no boyfriend
and no way to get to the royal ball.
1119
01:07:53,015 --> 01:07:58,269
Finally understand cliche,
money can't buy happiness.
1120
01:07:58,270 --> 01:08:01,773
Stay tuned while we go live to
the socialite event of the year...
1121
01:08:01,774 --> 01:08:03,358
And Melissa rivers.
1122
01:08:03,359 --> 01:08:06,277
At the Covington castle with
everybody who's anybody...
1123
01:08:06,278 --> 01:08:08,613
Is there right now with Melissa. Melissa?
1124
01:08:08,614 --> 01:08:10,198
Watch out San Francisco!
1125
01:08:10,199 --> 01:08:12,784
The night you've all
been waiting for is here.
1126
01:08:12,785 --> 01:08:14,995
The night of the royal
ball, and we are live...
1127
01:08:14,996 --> 01:08:16,705
Yes live at Covington castle.
1128
01:08:16,706 --> 01:08:19,624
Everybody's arriving early, there
goes the sultan of Brunei and one...
1129
01:08:19,625 --> 01:08:22,961
Two, three, four, five...
1130
01:08:22,962 --> 01:08:25,463
All five of the favorite
women from his harem.
1131
01:08:25,464 --> 01:08:27,590
I don't think they've all been
ever photographed together.
1132
01:08:27,591 --> 01:08:30,386
This is a tremendous
event. Don't go away, we're...
1133
01:08:48,820 --> 01:08:51,363
Katya? Baby?
1134
01:08:51,364 --> 01:08:53,564
What are you doing up
there? We're coming up.
1135
01:08:54,534 --> 01:08:56,327
Get out!
1136
01:08:56,328 --> 01:08:57,786
Put down the Vicodin down right now!
1137
01:08:57,787 --> 01:09:01,624
I wish. But you used it all
for your damn surgeries.
1138
01:09:01,625 --> 01:09:04,001
Plastic surgery kind of hurts, sweetie.
1139
01:09:04,002 --> 01:09:05,377
What are you two doing here?
1140
01:09:05,378 --> 01:09:09,173
We're here to help get you into the ball.
1141
01:09:09,174 --> 01:09:12,217
Forget it. I give up.
1142
01:09:12,218 --> 01:09:14,470
Are you serious? Are you kidding me?
1143
01:09:14,471 --> 01:09:17,848
Are you going to let those two
ugly sisters keep you out of the ball?
1144
01:09:17,849 --> 01:09:20,851
I wouldn't serve those wretches
tap water out of a dirty glass.
1145
01:09:20,852 --> 01:09:22,770
They're nothing compared to you.
1146
01:09:22,771 --> 01:09:24,355
They're not?
1147
01:09:24,356 --> 01:09:25,898
What happened to the Katya Livingston...
1148
01:09:25,899 --> 01:09:28,983
Who can talk a mad queen out of
drowning himself in a moment's notice?
1149
01:09:28,984 --> 01:09:29,984
I don't know.
1150
01:09:29,985 --> 01:09:31,986
Where's the Katya Livingston
who introduced me...
1151
01:09:31,987 --> 01:09:35,865
-To my first net worth individual.
-I don't know.
1152
01:09:35,866 --> 01:09:38,451
Katya Livingston, you have
to fight for what is yours, baby.
1153
01:09:38,452 --> 01:09:41,412
And that means your job
that Scandinavian love god...
1154
01:09:41,413 --> 01:09:43,289
And your social status!
1155
01:09:43,290 --> 01:09:45,291
Now get out of bed
right now and get ready.
1156
01:09:45,292 --> 01:09:46,752
I love those. Those are cute.
1157
01:09:47,795 --> 01:09:50,296
You're right! You're right!
1158
01:09:50,297 --> 01:09:52,924
There hasn't been a
guest list or velvet rope...
1159
01:09:52,925 --> 01:09:57,887
Or moat that's ever kept
me out! I belong in a castle.
1160
01:09:57,888 --> 01:10:00,556
We are live at Covington
castle from the royal ball.
1161
01:10:00,557 --> 01:10:03,810
And I'm here with Nob
Hill socialite Frangipani Lee!
1162
01:10:03,811 --> 01:10:07,897
Who you best know as ex-wife of
hedge fund billionaire Lane foreman...
1163
01:10:07,898 --> 01:10:10,274
Ex-wife of of music
producer Randall Jones...
1164
01:10:10,275 --> 01:10:12,819
Come on, it's this way. Don't push me.
1165
01:10:12,820 --> 01:10:15,071
Hurry.
1166
01:10:15,072 --> 01:10:18,491
I could walk through the front
door. I don't even have to go this way.
1167
01:10:18,492 --> 01:10:21,284
Ex-wife of media mogul David bowler.
1168
01:10:21,285 --> 01:10:27,249
Of course most recently, ex-wife
of sausage heir James Lawndale III.
1169
01:10:27,250 --> 01:10:30,461
-It's so good to see you.
-It's good to see you.
1170
01:10:32,422 --> 01:10:34,923
You know what? I don't
like water, and I don't like...
1171
01:10:34,924 --> 01:10:37,718
Sludge... look at all this green stuff.
1172
01:10:37,719 --> 01:10:39,261
If you helped me out we'd
probably get there a lot quicker.
1173
01:10:39,262 --> 01:10:40,554
And ruin my manicure?
1174
01:10:40,555 --> 01:10:42,973
My hair is already frizzing.
At least let my nails look good.
1175
01:10:42,974 --> 01:10:44,891
I know you want to
look good at the party...
1176
01:10:44,892 --> 01:10:46,435
And I don't want to die on the way there.
1177
01:10:46,436 --> 01:10:47,644
-Where are we going?
-I don't know.
1178
01:10:47,645 --> 01:10:52,482
-This dress is amazing.
-Janine Isrial couture.
1179
01:10:52,483 --> 01:10:53,775
Now are you excited to get inside?
1180
01:10:53,776 --> 01:10:56,320
Is there anyone special that
you're looking forward to seeing?
1181
01:10:56,321 --> 01:10:58,405
I'm very excited.
1182
01:10:58,406 --> 01:11:00,824
Well wonderful to see you.
Thank you so much for stopping.
1183
01:11:00,825 --> 01:11:03,285
Have a great time inside.
1184
01:11:03,286 --> 01:11:05,621
We'll be back with more
live from Covington castle.
1185
01:11:05,622 --> 01:11:08,415
Don't go away.
1186
01:11:08,416 --> 01:11:09,957
Can someone tell me if
there's anyone on the guest list...
1187
01:11:09,958 --> 01:11:13,628
She hasn't slept with or is
planning on marrying and divorcing?
1188
01:11:13,629 --> 01:11:17,174
You wait here and I'll
meet you over at the wall.
1189
01:11:34,232 --> 01:11:35,816
Alright, come on, baby.
1190
01:11:35,817 --> 01:11:37,652
Come on, let's go. I don't
want to hold this thing further.
1191
01:11:37,653 --> 01:11:40,154
Thank god I went with a spike heel.
1192
01:11:40,155 --> 01:11:42,156
I guess you really are a social climber.
1193
01:11:42,157 --> 01:11:45,118
It takes one to know one, sister.
1194
01:11:46,370 --> 01:11:49,580
You better hurry, my wrists
are getting limper by the moment.
1195
01:11:49,581 --> 01:11:52,584
-You wouldn't.
-I might.
1196
01:12:04,053 --> 01:12:05,845
Alright, are you ready to go in there?
1197
01:12:05,846 --> 01:12:07,764
-Am I ready?
-You're fabulous.
1198
01:12:07,765 --> 01:12:09,057
-Am I ready?
-You're fabulous.
1199
01:12:09,058 --> 01:12:11,894
Now get in there and
do your thing. Come on.
1200
01:12:14,021 --> 01:12:17,983
That would have been quite an entrance...
1201
01:12:17,984 --> 01:12:20,485
Who do you think you are, Bjork?
1202
01:12:20,486 --> 01:12:23,155
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
1203
01:12:41,215 --> 01:12:43,050
I need a drink.
1204
01:12:53,059 --> 01:12:54,935
Teddy, darling...
1205
01:12:54,936 --> 01:12:57,062
Since when did you start
doing catered events?
1206
01:12:57,063 --> 01:12:59,898
Let me guess... since you
caught pneumonia at rain storm?
1207
01:12:59,899 --> 01:13:02,526
Close. Whooping cough.
1208
01:13:02,527 --> 01:13:05,946
That's too bad. Now can we
have a round of knight-tinis.
1209
01:13:05,947 --> 01:13:08,490
I'll pretend to slip you a twenty.
1210
01:13:08,491 --> 01:13:11,035
Well thanks, Katya.
1211
01:13:11,036 --> 01:13:13,413
It's a party. The drinks are free.
1212
01:13:14,539 --> 01:13:17,291
Then, let's party.
1213
01:13:17,292 --> 01:13:18,793
Thank you.
1214
01:13:24,090 --> 01:13:28,260
I don't care if it is Chanel. Winter
white in July is unacceptable!
1215
01:13:28,261 --> 01:13:31,555
At least it distracts you from the face.
1216
01:13:31,556 --> 01:13:33,140
What about her?
1217
01:13:33,141 --> 01:13:35,768
Polka dots, black socks, t-shirt.
1218
01:13:35,769 --> 01:13:38,604
It's Eliza...
1219
01:13:38,605 --> 01:13:43,941
Katya. You remember
Steve? The guy I puked on?
1220
01:13:43,942 --> 01:13:46,778
Ladies, look who I just ran into.
1221
01:13:46,779 --> 01:13:48,613
I really don't need this right now.
1222
01:13:48,614 --> 01:13:51,157
I'm not stalking you anymore.
1223
01:13:51,158 --> 01:13:54,118
After that night at your
place, they threw me in jail.
1224
01:13:54,119 --> 01:13:59,123
I did a lot of thinking and
realized you're not my type.
1225
01:13:59,124 --> 01:14:00,417
I am!
1226
01:14:02,628 --> 01:14:05,922
Fabulous! Fergie finally found his love!
1227
01:14:05,923 --> 01:14:07,800
To love!
1228
01:14:10,302 --> 01:14:13,180
My god! Someone do something!
1229
01:14:17,768 --> 01:14:19,812
You broke the curse of Namambo!
1230
01:14:22,147 --> 01:14:23,482
Katya Livingston?
1231
01:14:27,486 --> 01:14:29,904
What the hell are you doing here?
1232
01:14:29,905 --> 01:14:33,824
Dove, you look fabulous.
1233
01:14:33,825 --> 01:14:37,661
It's the biggest party of the
season. You didn't think I'd miss out?
1234
01:14:37,662 --> 01:14:41,039
Cut the crap, Katya. How did you get in?
1235
01:14:41,040 --> 01:14:42,833
I climbed.
1236
01:14:42,834 --> 01:14:45,836
What kind of a person would
go to goes to such lengths?
1237
01:14:45,837 --> 01:14:47,838
An ambitious one.
1238
01:14:47,839 --> 01:14:50,716
Try a sociopath!
1239
01:14:50,717 --> 01:14:53,218
For years, you've sunk
to the lowest depths...
1240
01:14:53,219 --> 01:14:56,138
To claw your way to the middle.
1241
01:14:56,139 --> 01:14:59,016
You lied. You stole. You cheated.
1242
01:14:59,017 --> 01:15:02,519
In fact you would do just
about anything to get ahead.
1243
01:15:02,520 --> 01:15:04,771
But I've got news for you.
1244
01:15:04,772 --> 01:15:08,191
You didn't spend
thirteen years at Chapin...
1245
01:15:08,192 --> 01:15:11,695
And you never dated a Vanderbilt.
1246
01:15:11,696 --> 01:15:13,447
So, no matter what you do...
1247
01:15:13,448 --> 01:15:15,240
You're never going to belong!
1248
01:15:15,241 --> 01:15:16,950
I'm not going to belong?
1249
01:15:16,951 --> 01:15:20,871
I'm not going to belong? You're
as phony as your ski slope nose job!
1250
01:15:20,872 --> 01:15:22,663
And if you could date a Vanderbilt...
1251
01:15:22,664 --> 01:15:26,667
Then why don't you stop slumming
it with extras from the O.C.?
1252
01:15:26,668 --> 01:15:27,710
Let's face it, dove.
1253
01:15:27,711 --> 01:15:31,673
You have always been jealous
that my boobs are bigger than yours.
1254
01:15:33,383 --> 01:15:35,301
You'll never inspire a designer...
1255
01:15:35,302 --> 01:15:38,971
And you will never have front
row seats at a fashion show.
1256
01:15:38,972 --> 01:15:43,017
Katya Livingston,
you're a fake and a fraud.
1257
01:15:43,018 --> 01:15:46,438
And after tonight,
everyone's going to know.
1258
01:15:49,149 --> 01:15:52,943
-You want a piece of me?
-Do you want a piece of me?
1259
01:15:52,944 --> 01:15:54,738
Hold my gold.
1260
01:15:57,699 --> 01:15:59,910
I didn't know you were into that.
1261
01:16:05,248 --> 01:16:07,959
Okay everybody, the show's over!
1262
01:16:07,960 --> 01:16:09,001
Should we help her?
1263
01:16:09,002 --> 01:16:11,212
If we do, we'll be social road kill.
1264
01:16:11,213 --> 01:16:14,006
Let's wait until the crowd thins.
1265
01:16:15,049 --> 01:16:17,009
I said party, goddamnit!
1266
01:16:24,600 --> 01:16:28,770
Ladies and gentlemen, can
I have your attention please?
1267
01:16:28,771 --> 01:16:30,897
On behalf of youth aid International...
1268
01:16:30,898 --> 01:16:32,816
I would like to present a short video...
1269
01:16:32,817 --> 01:16:36,278
To remind us all why we are here tonight.
1270
01:16:36,279 --> 01:16:38,780
Over the years, youth
aid International...
1271
01:16:38,781 --> 01:16:41,283
Has been connecting
third world children...
1272
01:16:41,284 --> 01:16:43,618
To generous adults like yourselves...
1273
01:16:43,619 --> 01:16:48,290
In our immensely
successful adoption program.
1274
01:16:48,291 --> 01:16:52,085
We'd like to thank
youth aid International...
1275
01:16:52,086 --> 01:16:53,295
Rice-a-roni...
1276
01:16:53,296 --> 01:16:58,174
And most of all, my adoptive
mother Katya Livingston!
1277
01:16:58,175 --> 01:17:01,011
We've all gained two
pounds since she sent us...
1278
01:17:01,012 --> 01:17:03,012
The San Francisco treat.
1279
01:17:03,013 --> 01:17:05,307
We love you, mommy!
1280
01:17:14,149 --> 01:17:16,817
Is Katya Livingston still here?
1281
01:17:16,818 --> 01:17:20,947
She's here... Hi. Coming.
1282
01:17:21,990 --> 01:17:24,326
Hello, dove.
1283
01:17:25,327 --> 01:17:26,785
Thanks.
1284
01:17:26,786 --> 01:17:31,874
Katya, on behalf of
youth aid International...
1285
01:17:31,875 --> 01:17:33,542
I'd like to thank you
for all your efforts...
1286
01:17:33,543 --> 01:17:35,878
In helping Sabelo and his village.
1287
01:17:35,879 --> 01:17:38,339
-Thank you.
-Julie, it's been a pleasure.
1288
01:17:38,340 --> 01:17:41,842
I mean I've always been
heavily involved in charity.
1289
01:17:41,843 --> 01:17:44,928
And when my dear friend Eliza
asked me to sponsor Sabelo...
1290
01:17:44,929 --> 01:17:49,934
I knew that I had to do my
part in helping the less fortunate.
1291
01:17:53,479 --> 01:17:56,356
Actually, that's a lie.
1292
01:17:56,357 --> 01:17:59,818
I adopted a kid for the tax break.
1293
01:18:04,615 --> 01:18:07,825
See, I told you she was a sociopath!
1294
01:18:07,826 --> 01:18:09,827
Security, can we get rid of this nut job?
1295
01:18:09,828 --> 01:18:13,082
Wait! Dove's right.
1296
01:18:16,835 --> 01:18:19,630
I am a total fraud.
1297
01:18:21,340 --> 01:18:24,759
I lie about everything just to get ahead.
1298
01:18:24,760 --> 01:18:28,346
I didn't graduate magna
cum laude from Stanford...
1299
01:18:28,347 --> 01:18:32,017
I barely made it out of U.C. Santa Cruz.
1300
01:18:33,602 --> 01:18:37,563
Teddy, I never submitted
your novel to the nea.
1301
01:18:37,564 --> 01:18:42,278
I won the Grant and
blew half of it on this dress.
1302
01:18:43,987 --> 01:18:49,866
Lyle, I have shown up late
and left early a thousand times.
1303
01:18:49,867 --> 01:18:55,831
I am responsible for the deaths
of your goldfish and iguana.
1304
01:18:55,832 --> 01:19:01,212
Eliza, you have always been there
for me no matter how I treated you.
1305
01:19:04,090 --> 01:19:05,790
I slept with the guy you puked on.
1306
01:19:08,177 --> 01:19:10,388
And finally...
1307
01:19:13,266 --> 01:19:18,229
I tried to use this great guy
just to get into this stupid ball.
1308
01:19:19,772 --> 01:19:22,649
I was so worried about
being in the right place...
1309
01:19:22,650 --> 01:19:25,445
That I ended up missing
the best thing of all.
1310
01:19:26,696 --> 01:19:28,448
Him.
1311
01:19:33,328 --> 01:19:36,288
Did I mention that I
wear designer knock-offs?
1312
01:19:39,458 --> 01:19:41,293
And...
1313
01:20:07,194 --> 01:20:09,987
I thought the kid was gold.
1314
01:20:09,988 --> 01:20:11,822
Katya, the video was beautiful.
1315
01:20:11,823 --> 01:20:12,990
We can't buy press like that.
1316
01:20:12,991 --> 01:20:15,993
We're going to be in every
paper from coast to coast.
1317
01:20:15,994 --> 01:20:19,455
And by the way, focus groups
loved the American treat.
1318
01:20:19,456 --> 01:20:21,415
That carb thing was a total turn off.
1319
01:20:21,416 --> 01:20:25,001
Turns out rice has more
carbs than Wonderbread.
1320
01:20:25,002 --> 01:20:26,670
He lied about the facts.
1321
01:20:26,671 --> 01:20:28,129
Lyle, we'll work with you...
1322
01:20:28,130 --> 01:20:30,048
But only if Katya is our point person.
1323
01:20:30,049 --> 01:20:32,509
-She's your point person.
-I don't work there anymore...
1324
01:20:32,510 --> 01:20:34,719
And I really have to go.
1325
01:20:34,720 --> 01:20:36,054
Katya, come on. Please, think about it.
1326
01:20:36,055 --> 01:20:38,348
-I'll give you a nice desk.
-I don't think so.
1327
01:20:38,349 --> 01:20:40,642
Don't worry, I'm going to work this out.
1328
01:20:40,643 --> 01:20:43,020
You know, the advertising
game, it's a jungle.
1329
01:21:04,959 --> 01:21:06,669
Is this seat taken?
1330
01:21:07,712 --> 01:21:10,046
Charles! What are you doing here?
1331
01:21:10,047 --> 01:21:15,301
Long night, big party, lots of drama...
1332
01:21:15,302 --> 01:21:17,679
-It sounds fun.
-Not really.
1333
01:21:18,722 --> 01:21:21,515
I'm not much for big soirees...
1334
01:21:21,516 --> 01:21:24,894
Or catfights.
1335
01:21:26,104 --> 01:21:29,398
I don't know. I needed to think.
1336
01:21:29,399 --> 01:21:31,859
I didn't think I'd have company.
1337
01:21:31,860 --> 01:21:35,029
Well I climbed all the
way up the social ladder...
1338
01:21:35,030 --> 01:21:40,993
And figured out it was lonely.
1339
01:21:40,994 --> 01:21:43,455
So I needed to think too.
1340
01:21:44,873 --> 01:21:46,875
Gucci was closed?
1341
01:21:50,211 --> 01:21:52,714
So what are you thinking about?
1342
01:21:55,175 --> 01:21:56,925
Well there's this girl...
1343
01:21:56,926 --> 01:21:59,887
God, there's always a girl.
1344
01:21:59,888 --> 01:22:01,765
Tell me about her.
1345
01:22:03,141 --> 01:22:04,601
She's a liar...
1346
01:22:05,643 --> 01:22:07,936
A social climber...
1347
01:22:07,937 --> 01:22:09,812
Animal killer...
1348
01:22:09,813 --> 01:22:12,982
She sounds awful.
1349
01:22:12,983 --> 01:22:16,277
She's everything that I didn't want.
1350
01:22:16,278 --> 01:22:18,781
Everything that's not on my list.
1351
01:22:23,786 --> 01:22:26,830
And yet I can't stop thinking about her.
1352
01:22:30,125 --> 01:22:32,836
Maybe that's because
the list is misleading.
1353
01:22:34,672 --> 01:22:38,591
And maybe it's because she's
a bunch of other things as well.
1354
01:22:38,592 --> 01:22:43,721
She's complex, and intriguing...
1355
01:22:43,722 --> 01:22:46,100
And full of surprises.
1356
01:22:47,518 --> 01:22:50,979
Like tonight. She did
this incredibly brave thing.
1357
01:22:50,980 --> 01:22:52,730
It was about time.
1358
01:22:52,731 --> 01:22:56,149
Well some people never
come clean about who they are.
1359
01:22:56,150 --> 01:22:59,821
Especially in front of 250
San Franciscan socialites.
1360
01:23:01,197 --> 01:23:03,156
But I didn't.
1361
01:23:03,157 --> 01:23:04,492
Not completely.
1362
01:23:07,161 --> 01:23:11,331
I don't know how much more I can handle.
1363
01:23:11,332 --> 01:23:15,712
My real name is Katy.
1364
01:23:17,422 --> 01:23:21,134
I like Katy. Katy I can handle.
1365
01:23:23,636 --> 01:23:25,888
Now my turn.
1366
01:23:27,181 --> 01:23:29,516
I spray tan.
1367
01:23:29,517 --> 01:23:31,852
Really? It looks good.
1368
01:23:31,853 --> 01:23:33,645
Thanks.
1369
01:23:33,646 --> 01:23:35,023
What else?
1370
01:23:37,775 --> 01:23:39,527
I really like you.
1371
01:23:43,698 --> 01:23:46,159
I really like you too.
1372
01:23:59,755 --> 01:24:03,049
Cab fare from Covington
castle: Thirty five dollars.
1373
01:24:03,050 --> 01:24:06,052
Ripping couture gown: $85 dollars.
1374
01:24:06,053 --> 01:24:08,054
Finding happiness
that has nothing to do...
1375
01:24:08,055 --> 01:24:11,432
With money, parties,
or designer clothing:
1376
01:24:11,433 --> 01:24:15,020
What do you know priceless.
105754
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