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00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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[dramatic tone]
3
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:26,276
You know, um,
I'm ready to be a dad.
4
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:30,447
I've been thinking about it,
and I think it's finally time.
5
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,449
It's all I've ever wanted
since I was little.
6
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:34,784
And I can't keep waiting to
meet the right girl, you know?
7
00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:36,536
I gotta take action.
I gotta take charge.
8
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,663
I gotta do this myself
'cause it's for me, right?
9
00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:41,541
So I just...
10
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,209
think I'm ready
to have a little Petey.
11
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,502
What do you think?
12
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,087
You're getting very good
at this.
13
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:50,508
I almost believed
14
00:00:50,508 --> 00:00:52,844
that you believed the line
of shit you were giving me.
15
00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:55,180
Is it that crazy
that I want to be a dad?
16
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:56,639
- Yeah, Peter.
- Why?
17
00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:59,434
Because every guy
who has a family,
18
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,394
he's fuckin' fantasizing
about having your life.
19
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:02,812
- That's why we hate you.
- We?
20
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:04,272
You know I love you,
but if I could,
21
00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:05,565
I'd kill you and wear your skin
22
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:07,859
just so I could
bang supermodels.
23
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,528
I just--I just wanna
be there for a child.
24
00:01:10,528 --> 00:01:12,405
- I wanna have a child.
- Okay, take mine.
25
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:13,698
And she'll do it
for the checkmark.
26
00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:15,825
I don't want Angela.
I want my own fresh one.
27
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:17,327
- I wanna dress it all swaggy.
- All right. All right.
28
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,578
Okay, listen to me,
can we please talk about this
29
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:19,788
when you're not
being a drug addict?
30
00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:22,749
User, Uncle Tom.
I'm a drug user, okay?
31
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:23,917
And maybe if I had a kid,
32
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,251
hey, maybe I wouldn't
use drugs so much.
33
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,087
Maybe it'll teach me
to channel my inner chaos
34
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,254
and give my life meaning
or some shit.
35
00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,673
- I don't know.
- Bro, what the fuck
36
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,675
are you talking about?
Look at me. I'm a dad.
37
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:34,594
Do I look like
my life has meaning?
38
00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,346
Pete, you're not ready, okay?
39
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:38,932
You can't just go
and have a family, okay?
40
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,517
That means no more partying,
no more drugs,
41
00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,268
no more drinking,
no more friends.
42
00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,312
You can't have friends.
43
00:01:44,312 --> 00:01:46,064
Have you ever seen me
with a friend?
44
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:50,735
No jets to Turks and Belize
or whatever the fuck.
45
00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:52,862
Look, I know you dream
about killing yourself.
46
00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:54,406
That's out the window.
47
00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:55,949
I don't know what else to do,
Uncle Tommy, okay?
48
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:57,325
I've done everything.
49
00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:58,410
I'm fuckin' running out
of options, all right?
50
00:01:58,410 --> 00:01:59,744
And I talked to my--
[hammer clanging]
51
00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:01,162
I talked to my therapist,
and my therapist thinks
52
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,288
that it's a good idea.
53
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,957
- It may be healthy for me.
- Oh, yeah?
54
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,834
- You know, yeah.
- Well, your therapist needs,
55
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:08,253
like, a fucking kick
in the balls, okay?
56
00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,964
Nobody ever had their life
become better
57
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,048
because they had kids.
58
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:15,135
Fuck.
59
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,137
Is that crooked?
60
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,596
Yeah, a little.
Yeah, yeah.
61
00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:20,849
Ah, fuck.
That's two weeks of my life.
62
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,267
Here. Take it.
63
00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:23,518
Just be careful with it.
The handle's sharp.
64
00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:24,853
Oh, both are sharp.
65
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,146
- Hey.
- Yeah?
66
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,690
Never forget.
67
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,400
1992.
68
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,485
- Sexiest Man on Staten Island.
- That's right.
69
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:35,530
Paul Montello
and Kyle Hennesy.
70
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,574
- Never forget.
- Never forget.
71
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,534
This guy doesn't know what
the hell he's talking about.
72
00:02:39,534 --> 00:02:42,495
Having a baby would solve
all of your problems.
73
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,913
Did you tell him
about how it would,
74
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:45,623
like, channel your chaos?
75
00:02:45,623 --> 00:02:47,083
It would
give your life meaning?
76
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,335
Yeah,
I told him exactly that.
77
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,337
I don't think he knows
what he's talking about.
78
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,047
So do you know
who you'd like to have it with?
79
00:02:52,047 --> 00:02:53,381
Is there somebody special?
80
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:54,632
Well, I think
I'm just gonna have it myself,
81
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:56,509
but Nikki said
she'd, you know,
82
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,595
- sell me one of her eggs, so...
- Sell?
83
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,347
Yeah, well, you know,
she went to Harvard, so it's--
84
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,807
it's like a--
it's an elite egg.
85
00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,225
I don't know,
if you're gonna buy the eggs,
86
00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:06,853
you might as well go big.
87
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,563
Kelly Clarkson.
Oh, my God.
88
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:11,691
That baby would be so talented!
Can you imagine?
89
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:14,694
She's sing and, you know,
do other things.
90
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:15,820
Yeah, I don't think
we need to worry
91
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:16,946
about the egg right now.
92
00:03:16,946 --> 00:03:19,449
I think we gotta find a--
a load holder.
93
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,784
It's called a surrogate, honey.
94
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,577
Yes, and I can take care
of that for you very easy.
95
00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:25,163
- You're the surrogate, yeah.
- [squeals]
96
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,707
Oh, Peter, we're having a baby.
97
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,542
- We're having a baby.
- Mm-hmm.
98
00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,087
- I'm so excited.
- Yeah.
99
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,089
* Ain't nothin'
like hip-hop music ♪
100
00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:36,091
♪ You like it
'cause you choose it ♪
101
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:38,510
So, like, would I be able
to tell her eventually?
102
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,053
Like,
before the end of my life?
103
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,138
Like, we just wait until the
most dramatic moment possible,
104
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,431
like I'm on my deathbed.
105
00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:45,141
And I just, like,
grab her face,
106
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,686
and I'm like,
"I'm your mom."
107
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:50,522
[imitates flatlining]
So dramatic.
108
00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:52,607
No, it wouldn't be a secret.
You could tell her.
109
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:55,193
Okay, so I'd be, like,
the semi-present fun dad?
110
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:56,569
I always wanted
to be the fun dad.
111
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,154
- Yeah.
- Though it might not be
112
00:03:58,154 --> 00:03:59,322
the best time
to have a baby.
113
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:01,574
I'm kind of a caregiver already
right now
114
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:03,827
because my brother has
that really intense fetish
115
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:05,286
for deadbeat moms.
116
00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:06,705
He can't fuckin'
help himself, huh?
117
00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:08,915
No, and this kid's mom
is on this, like,
118
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:11,584
"spiritual journey" right now,
which is just a fancy way
119
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,962
of saying she's in Costa Rica
doing ayahuasca,
120
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,588
shitting her brains out
into a bucket.
121
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:18,049
- So sad.
- It's actually so tragic.
122
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,759
People don't know
you can do ayahuasca in Queens.
123
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,428
Come on,
this is about the kid.
124
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:22,971
- She's eight years old.
- Eight?
125
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:24,681
Which means she gets
why it's so fucked up,
126
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:27,684
but she also just, like,
really needs a mom, you know?
127
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,604
Well, then let's--
let's, um...
128
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,857
Let's do something fun for her.
Uh, I don't know.
129
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:36,067
Could we take her to, like,
an amusement park or some shit?
130
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,444
She would love that so much.
131
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,030
Okay, cool.
Let's do it.
132
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:42,532
Wow, Pete, you're being,
like, parental right now.
133
00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:43,700
It's kind of hot.
134
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:49,497
You wanna just fuck here
and save me 80 grand?
135
00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,624
Oh, for sure.
No, we should totally do that.
136
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:53,126
Like, should we go
to the bathroom right now?
137
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,003
You're a dick.
138
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:57,922
You want me to have
my brother's baby?
139
00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:00,133
No, honey.
It's--it's not your egg.
140
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,719
You would just carry it,
so there's no incest.
141
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,804
You think I should just give
over my body for nine months
142
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,973
like a brood mare just
to help Pete ruin two lives?
143
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,517
I think having a baby
would really focus him.
144
00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:11,770
Okay, it's a baby,
not a fidget spinner.
145
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:14,814
Look, I feel like our family
has been coming apart, right?
146
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:17,817
And a baby is a great way
to keep a family together.
147
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:20,070
I don't even know
what to say.
148
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,488
You've caught Pete's insanity.
149
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,989
Please.
Don't be so dramatic.
150
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,325
It's one baby.
151
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,826
Unless it's two.
152
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:29,162
Oh, my God, twins.
I'm gonna pass out.
153
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,539
[laughs]
That's too exciting.
154
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:34,709
- [phone ringing]
- Hey, Poppy.
155
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:36,670
Peter,
I'm in the studio with Roy.
156
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,588
He's making a calendar
for Borgie for me.
157
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:40,757
Hey, Peter.
Borgie, Borgie, Borgie.
158
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,008
- Get me the cowboy hat.
- Now he's gonna be a cowboy.
159
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,385
- Fucking hilarious.
- Hilarious.
160
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:44,844
I gotta go.
You guys are nuts.
161
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:46,388
- What else is he gonna be?
- Look at the hat!
162
00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:48,139
Here he comes.
163
00:05:48,139 --> 00:05:50,642
Are you excited?
164
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,855
[coughing]
165
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:59,317
- Hi.
- Yo, what's up, my little G?
166
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,568
- You brought the crew.
- Yeah.
167
00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:01,986
Well, you know,
it takes a village.
168
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,197
I'm being fun dad.
We can both be fun dads.
169
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,365
Okay.
170
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,409
Um, well, Anna,
this is Pete.
171
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:09,035
- Hi. I'm Pete.
- Hi, Pete.
172
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,663
Pete was able to get us
front-of-the-line passes today.
173
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,456
You have very big teeth.
174
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:14,749
Get in the car.
175
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,710
Ah.
176
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,962
Not what I had in mind.
What the fuck?
177
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:21,256
What?
I'm trying to have fun.
178
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,467
- Hey, Nikki. [laughs]
- Sick outfit.
179
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:25,677
You know
you can't smoke in here, right,
180
00:06:25,677 --> 00:06:26,886
'cause we're with child?
181
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,346
We goin' to Action Land
sober?
182
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:29,556
What is this,
a church retreat?
183
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,182
I'm on pills, my G.
184
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,518
Uh, is it okay
if Crillz plays his music?
185
00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:34,728
Oh, yeah,
she can't hear shit
186
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:35,979
in these
noise-cancelling headphones.
187
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:38,106
All right.
[hip-hop music playing]
188
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:39,691
Let's go!
189
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,651
I have the perfect person
to play opposite you
190
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:42,902
as the ten-gallon hat man.
191
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,655
What you think
about Ethan Hawke?
192
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:49,242
♪ ♪
193
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,577
This is gonna be fun, man.
194
00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,162
This is, like,
my first time
195
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,747
I get to, like,
practice being a dad.
196
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,123
- It's pretty cool, right?
- Yeah.
197
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,958
- [laughs]
- What?
198
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,335
Oh,
you were serious about that?
199
00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,627
Yeah.
200
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,005
Okay.
201
00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:03,882
♪ Makin' moves ♪
202
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:04,966
♪ I know it hurts ♪
203
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,807
[upbeat music]
204
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:18,146
♪ ♪
205
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,814
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
206
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:22,233
What the fuck is he doing here?
207
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,235
- Pete.
- Gill.
208
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,696
- What's up, dude?
- What up, man?
209
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,031
Hey, thank you.
210
00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:29,199
Thanks for giving me
another chance.
211
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,200
Don't worry about it, man.
212
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,326
Now, just so you know,
213
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:32,535
things are
a little different now.
214
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:33,661
You're on probation.
215
00:07:33,661 --> 00:07:35,288
That's fine.
That makes perfect sense.
216
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,040
- Thank you.
- Hey, come on.
217
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,708
Put your phone in the bag.
218
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,418
- What?
- You heard him.
219
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,253
Put the phone
in the Yondr bag.
220
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:44,381
- Come on, guys.
- What you need your phone for?
221
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:45,757
I knew you guys
were gonna be dickheads.
222
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,384
None of your friends here.
Your family hates you.
223
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,302
- You right here.
- I hate you guys.
224
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,929
- I've always hated you two.
- Feeling's mutual.
225
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:52,097
You know what?
I'm done.
226
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:54,641
This nigga's dizzy.
I'm out of here.
227
00:07:54,641 --> 00:08:01,064
♪ ♪
228
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:05,068
All right, Anna, what ride
do you wanna go on first?
229
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,403
You can do anything you want.
230
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,780
We're doing everything
you want today.
231
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,532
Uh, whatever you guys want.
232
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:13,743
- Thanks again for taking me.
- Whatever.
233
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:15,620
Okay, well...
234
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:19,124
Hey, how about the Fireball?
235
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:22,252
- That one's pretty wild.
- Ooh.
236
00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:24,254
That one sounds scary.
237
00:08:24,254 --> 00:08:26,297
How about the Whippersnapper
to get the party started?
238
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:28,508
- Whippersnapper?
- I don't know.
239
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:32,178
My G, some people think
the Whippersnapper's kinda gay,
240
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:35,098
but it's actually one
of the best rides in the park.
241
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:38,768
Crill.
242
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:39,853
Anna.
[clears throat]
243
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:42,772
When Crilly says
that something is gay,
244
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,066
he doesn't mean it
in, like, a homophobic way.
245
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:48,028
He just means that it's, like,
the worst thing in the world.
246
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,196
Exactly.
247
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,656
- What?
- Guys.
248
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,199
- What?
- Let's just--let's move on.
249
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,284
That's how he meant it.
250
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,785
Jesus, Pete.
Nice parenting.
251
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,454
Pete, it's awesome
to see you with this kid, man.
252
00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,247
You're gonna be
a great father someday.
253
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,291
I bet your dead daddy's
looking down on us right now,
254
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,876
proud as hell of you.
I love it.
255
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:04,627
- Thanks, man.
- No problem.
256
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,296
We better go catch up.
257
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,381
Layin' the cheese
pretty thick, don't you think?
258
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,800
- You little rat.
- Fuck you, dude.
259
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,677
[upbeat swing music]
260
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:16,556
* Just walking
in the sunshine ♪
261
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,975
♪ With my buddy,
little buddy ♪
262
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,061
Hello. Could I
please get two regulars?
263
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:22,520
- Sure.
- Thanks.
264
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,648
[phone chimes]
265
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:28,818
Peter, we got the dog
dressed as Sherlock Holmes.
266
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:31,363
He's got the magnifying glass
in his paw
267
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:34,115
like he's about
to solve a mystery.
268
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:35,867
Who's gonna
catch the murderer?
269
00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:37,786
Fuckin' hilarious!
270
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:48,505
Hey.
271
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:49,756
What are you doin'
with the leaves?
272
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:50,715
How's it going?
273
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,679
[sighs]
274
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:59,474
Hey, look, I know, um...
275
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:03,269
I know you might not be seeing
your mom for a little bit, uh,
276
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,896
and that it must be really sad.
277
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:07,732
And I can tell you, I kind of
know what that's like.
278
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:10,360
And just so you know,
it's gonna be all right.
279
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,862
I mean, you know,
look how I turned out, right?
280
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:15,699
No offense, but you seem like
you have a lot of problems.
281
00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:17,283
[laughs] Okay.
282
00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,785
Why don't you eat
your Dippin' Dots, all right?
283
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,208
My mom's
really not that great.
284
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:26,793
I kind of hated
living with her.
285
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,878
[as Rodney Dangerfield]
Tell me about it, okay?
286
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,714
What's that?
287
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:33,133
- It's Rodney Dangerfield.
- Who?
288
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,592
You don't know
Rodney Dangerfield?
289
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,553
[as Rodney Dangerfield]
Hey, we're all gonna get laid.
290
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,346
You remember that guy?
He's a comedian.
291
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:39,597
Who's your favorite comedian?
292
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:40,765
Addison Rae.
293
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,309
Jesus. Fuck.
294
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,729
Look, Anna,
you know, I get it.
295
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:49,190
Living with your mom
could suck, you know?
296
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,151
Don't you live with your mom?
297
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,069
Hey,
she lives with me, okay?
298
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,071
Look, I pay the mortgage.
299
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,448
All right?
300
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:01,036
I hate my life.
301
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:02,162
Hey.
302
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,413
Hey, look at me.
Don't say that.
303
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:05,415
Don't say
you hate your life, okay?
304
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,542
Life is just really tough
when you're a kid.
305
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:10,420
Nobody tells you that,
but being a kid sucks.
306
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:12,047
It's really confusing,
you know?
307
00:11:12,047 --> 00:11:14,674
And you might see kids
with their parents together,
308
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:15,967
and you think they have
a happy life and everything.
309
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:17,594
And yeah, they do right now,
but you know what?
310
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,304
It's gonna fizzle out
after high school.
311
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,805
They're all gonna
do heroin in college.
312
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,140
But not you.
Not you.
313
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:23,850
This is your origin story.
314
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,061
You're a superhero.
You are a warrior.
315
00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:27,228
I'm gonna call you Xena.
316
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:28,855
You are Xena
the Warrior Princess.
317
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,273
You'll figure it out.
318
00:11:30,273 --> 00:11:31,775
So what you can't control
things right now?
319
00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:33,193
That's fine. You're a kid.
You're not supposed
320
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,652
to be able to figure out
how to control things.
321
00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,279
But you can control
what makes you happy,
322
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:37,572
who you have in your life.
323
00:11:37,572 --> 00:11:38,990
What do you like to do?
Do you have hobbies?
324
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,867
Do you have any friends?
You must have tons of friends.
325
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,160
You don't have any friends?
326
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,620
Come on.
I don't buy that.
327
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:46,081
Okay, well, you have two now.
How about that?
328
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,248
Me and Nikki'll
be your friends.
329
00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:49,292
Is that cool?
You wanna be our friend?
330
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,293
You wanna be part of our gang?
331
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:51,961
[laughs] Yeah.
332
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,130
Yeah?
All right, my G.
333
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:57,384
Finish your ice cream and
we'll go on some rides, okay?
334
00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:03,890
♪ ♪
335
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:10,980
[bottles clatter]
336
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,899
I saw you talking to Anna.
337
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,317
That was really sweet.
338
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:15,527
Yeah, she's really sweet.
339
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:17,153
And just--I feel bad, you know?
340
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,322
She's, like, a kid.
That shit sucks.
341
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:20,490
I just--I don't even know
342
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:21,783
if she's having a good time,
you know?
343
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:24,411
No, she's having
a very fun time.
344
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,287
You're actually, like,
surprisingly good
345
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,039
at this whole parent thing.
346
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:29,833
- Really?
- Yeah.
347
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,835
I mean, it's probably 'cause
you're so emotionally stunted,
348
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:32,794
but...
349
00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:37,048
I wish a big, strong man
would win me a teddy bear.
350
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:38,758
You and me both, sweetheart.
351
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,010
Huh?
352
00:12:40,010 --> 00:12:42,220
I said,
three balls for $5,
353
00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,222
12 for 10.
354
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,307
Hey, would it be possible
to just,
355
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:47,851
I don't know,
buy one of the bears?
356
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:50,729
Oh, you're one of those "how
much can I buy it for" guys.
357
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:52,772
Never earned a fucking thing
in your life.
358
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,691
- What?
- The bear's worth nothing.
359
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:57,193
The victory and excitement
of winning the bear--
360
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,445
priceless.
361
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:01,781
These bears have been
in these rafters
362
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:02,991
for 20 years.
363
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,200
20.
364
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,618
[dramatic music]
365
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:08,038
Come on.
Don't be a pussy.
366
00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:09,205
Fuckin'...
367
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:10,540
How's a G sound, huh?
368
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,375
- A G sounds great.
- Let's go.
369
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:15,337
Fuck.
Now we're fuckin' talking.
370
00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:17,130
[bottles clattering]
371
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,506
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, my God!
372
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,300
- Whoo!
- Fuck!
373
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,093
Forgot to spray
the bottles down.
374
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,261
- What?
- What?
375
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:29,059
- Oh, my God.
- What the fuck?
376
00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:30,393
[engine starts]
377
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,103
- What the fuck?
- What?
378
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:33,396
Whoa! Hey, hey!
379
00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,398
Oh, guys, I'm sorry.
380
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:37,525
I was just in the bathroom
doing some schneef.
381
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:38,610
All right.
Here we go.
382
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:41,404
Bottle down.
Three balls for $5.
383
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:43,239
- All right?
- The guy...
384
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,240
There was another guy.
385
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,784
Listen, forget about that.
386
00:13:45,784 --> 00:13:48,620
I can give you the bear
for $20.
387
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:49,871
How 'bout some schneef?
388
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,706
It's $20 for schneef.
389
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:54,959
I can put the schneef
in the bear. $40.
390
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,294
So what do you say?
391
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:57,962
You want
the schneef-filled bear?
392
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,047
Yeah.
393
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:01,007
Can I come?
both: No.
394
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,300
I went too far?
395
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,593
- A little bit, yeah.
- Yeah? All right.
396
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:05,095
- Take the fuckin' bear.
- Thanks.
397
00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:06,763
Fuck off.
398
00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,473
[both giggle]
399
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:11,810
Thank you.
400
00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:14,437
So I was thinking,
why risk it?
401
00:14:14,437 --> 00:14:16,773
Why roll the dice
when I already know
402
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:20,527
the best womb
a baby could want?
403
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:23,321
Yeah.
I mean, quick question.
404
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:24,906
Does Pete know
that you're here?
405
00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:26,866
I mean, we broke up
a really long time ago.
406
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,452
I feel like this would give him
a full panic attack.
407
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:30,745
No, he doesn't know.
408
00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:32,580
But I don't think
he even realizes
409
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,040
how perfect this would be.
410
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,126
Honestly, the thought
of him wanting a baby this bad
411
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:38,795
that he would do it by himself
is kind of breaking my heart.
412
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,383
God, I forgot
what a sweet girl you are.
413
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,718
You are an angel.
414
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:46,511
[laughs]
415
00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:48,221
You know what?
You're right.
416
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,306
You should not be
the surrogate.
417
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:51,641
Why not?
418
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,643
- You should be his wife.
- Yeah.
419
00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:55,311
- I'm sold. I'm in.
- Okay.
420
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:58,189
I choose you. Aw.
421
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:00,483
- You know I have a boyfriend.
- Yeah, I know.
422
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,193
Well, it can't be serious.
423
00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,737
- I don't see a ring.
- It is.
424
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,196
We've been together
over a year.
425
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:06,322
- Does he love you?
- Yeah.
426
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,657
Do you love him?
427
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:09,701
Yeah.
I mean, it's serious.
428
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:11,327
We have a dog together.
429
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:14,205
Would he leave you
for $10,000?
430
00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:16,082
- What?
- I'm just saying.
431
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,668
You don't want to throw away
an opportunity like this
432
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:21,713
if he would be willing
to dump you for 15 grand.
433
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,007
He wouldn't.
He wouldn't.
434
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:26,092
I don't know.
Let's find out.
435
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:29,888
What does he want more:
you or $25,000?
436
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:31,931
Okay.
437
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,058
What's the number?
438
00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:37,020
[carnival music]
439
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,731
♪ ♪
440
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:40,648
Hey.
441
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,317
What's up, guys?
Where's Anna?
442
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,818
I thought she was with you.
443
00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:46,446
- You guys were watching her.
- Oh, shit.
444
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,281
Wh--I don't--
I don't see her anywhere.
445
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:50,367
Guys, this is, like, the worst
possible thing we can do.
446
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:51,534
We lost her?
447
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,036
- Anna! Anna!
- Anna!
448
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:55,038
Okay, okay,
don't freak out and
449
00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,373
- make this about you, please.
- What do you mean?
450
00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:57,499
She's probably
around here somewhere.
451
00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,376
No, she's not.
Fuck, this is so bad!
452
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,378
Anna! Anna!
453
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:02,545
- Anna!
- Anna!
454
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:03,630
Anna, get out here!
455
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:04,839
Where you at, my little G?
456
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:07,467
- Anna! Anna!
- My G, where you at?
457
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,010
She's not answering.
Anna?
458
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:10,136
See,
this is why I need my phone.
459
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,596
You guys took it. Psychos.
460
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:12,889
No, man. No.
461
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,224
You wouldn't find that kid
with your phone.
462
00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:15,725
I find kids all the time
with my phone, Derek.
463
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,102
- Wow.
- That's dark.
464
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,770
I understand
what's going on here.
465
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:20,814
There's a white girl
gone missing in this park.
466
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:23,358
I'm getting
the fuck out of here.
467
00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:25,026
You fucking asshole.
468
00:16:25,026 --> 00:16:27,529
I'm keeping the dog,
you piece of shit.
469
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,531
[sighs]
470
00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:32,784
Oh, honey.
471
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:34,536
It's better you find out now.
472
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:35,912
I mean, it's not true love
if he's willing
473
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:38,331
to throw it all away
for 50 Gs.
474
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,291
You're a terrible person.
475
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,252
Oh, I see, your boyfriend
leaves you for cash,
476
00:16:42,252 --> 00:16:43,753
and I'm the monster.
477
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:47,549
Amy, you have all this energy
and drive right now.
478
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,384
It's going
into a really dark place.
479
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:52,220
You know how they say put the
oxygen mask on yourself first?
480
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,431
You act like you've gone
a really long time
481
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:56,057
with no oxygen.
482
00:16:57,559 --> 00:17:00,353
You ruined this cake for me.
[sniffles]
483
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,063
And it was my favorite cake.
484
00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:08,945
Anna? Anna!
[phone chimes]
485
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,031
We have him dressed
as a banker now.
486
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:13,241
He's the "woof"
of Wall Street.
487
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,492
- The wolf.
- Fuckin' hilarious!
488
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:15,952
- What are you doing?
- Oh.
489
00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,954
We have to keep looking.
Come on.
490
00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,956
Should be a spooky
waste of time. Let's go.
491
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,624
Yeah, maybe the little G
went in here.
492
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:22,792
All right.
493
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:25,712
[intense spooky music]
494
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,255
♪ ♪
495
00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:30,008
[humming]
496
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,636
[growls]
497
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:35,305
[continues humming]
498
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:36,765
[claps]
499
00:17:36,765 --> 00:17:38,892
♪ ♪
500
00:17:38,892 --> 00:17:40,894
- [growls]
- Aah! I fuckin' hate this!
501
00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:47,067
Argh!
502
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,985
- Good night.
- [grunts]
503
00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,279
Time to go to work.
504
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:55,825
♪ ♪
505
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,577
[growls]
[chainsaw buzzing]
506
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,745
[growls]
507
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:04,918
Sweet dreams.
508
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,713
Are any of these your kid?
509
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,548
[dramatic tone]
510
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,008
[cheerful music playing]
511
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,802
[whispering]
Get me outta here.
512
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,598
Yo, you really fucked
that wolf man up, dude.
513
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,392
You got a solid right.
514
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:21,893
We're not close like that.
515
00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:23,561
Pete forgives
because he's an open soul,
516
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,605
but it's my job
to protect him from anything.
517
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:27,232
You betrayed us.
518
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,234
What, you guys never used
Pete to try to get something?
519
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:32,112
Pete's aura is
a delicate ecosystem.
520
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,864
It's an ecosystem that
supports the life of all of us.
521
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,700
And you fucked
with that ecosystem.
522
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:37,867
You're an existential threat.
523
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,536
I've seen guys
like you before.
524
00:18:39,536 --> 00:18:41,037
In and out in six months.
525
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,373
Free weed.
Supreme hoodies.
526
00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:45,500
Enjoy it while it lasts,
'cause at the end of the day,
527
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,085
- the couch is mine.
- Hey!
528
00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:48,545
- What the fuck is your problem?
- Oh, shit, Crilly, look out!
529
00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:49,879
[grunts]
530
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:52,215
- [thuds]
- Oh, shit.
531
00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:54,009
Knocked the dust
out that zombie.
532
00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:55,885
Matter of fact,
run his pockets.
533
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,762
- And you...
- Huh?
534
00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,097
- You're back in.
- Huh.
535
00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:00,557
- You're my G for life, bro.
- Did you see that?
536
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,183
Come here.
537
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:03,893
But if you ever
cross Pete again,
538
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,061
you're fuckin' dead.
539
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,188
You ever cross Pete,
you're dead.
540
00:19:08,565 --> 00:19:10,567
- Yeah, boy.
- Yeah.
541
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:11,901
Come here.
542
00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:13,820
- Let's go get some popcorn.
- Yeah.
543
00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:18,700
- Anna!
- Anna!
544
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:19,826
Anna!
545
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,411
Oh, my God.
There she is.
546
00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:23,079
Anna!
547
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,415
- Where have you been?
- I got hungry.
548
00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:27,208
Where did you go?
I was so worried about you.
549
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,918
You can never
do that again, okay?
550
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,086
Do you know what could
have happened to you?
551
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,589
- Have you seen "SVU"?
- No.
552
00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:34,299
Hey, my G.
553
00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:36,968
Oh, you three show up
just when the problem's solved.
554
00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:39,346
- Awesome.
- Pete, you found the kid?
555
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:41,139
Incredible, dude.
You're a legend.
556
00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:42,932
- Thanks, man.
- Hey, can we go home now?
557
00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:44,267
I mean, we found
the little white girl,
558
00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:45,894
so we should probably
leave the casino
559
00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:47,062
while we're still up.
560
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:48,229
No, we can't go yet
561
00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:49,981
'cause Anna hasn't
been on any rides.
562
00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:51,566
I mean, this day's
all about you, right?
563
00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:53,777
We gotta take you on a ride.
What's your favorite ride?
564
00:19:53,777 --> 00:19:55,320
Princess Coaster.
565
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,197
But it's closed.
566
00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:59,783
Okay, well, how about we go
on my favorite ride?
567
00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:01,117
Turbulence.
568
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,078
- Is it scary?
- No.
569
00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:04,871
Not at all.
Not for you.
570
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,123
- I might go on it.
- Good.
571
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,375
I think you should go on it.
You know why?
572
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:10,126
'Cause remember
when we were talking earlier
573
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,503
and you weren't feeling so hot
574
00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:12,962
and I said that
you're a strong superhero
575
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,422
and you're a super warrior?
576
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,633
When you go on a ride like this
that you're afraid of,
577
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:19,386
when you go on, you're gonna
feel so good about yourself.
578
00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:23,181
- Promise?
- I promise.
579
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:26,810
Ready?
[coaster hisses]
580
00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,645
I don't know.
581
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:30,146
What was your favorite ride?
582
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,272
Princess Coaster.
583
00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:32,899
Fuck the Princess Coaster.
584
00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,025
Let's go!
585
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:36,236
Whoo! Whoo!
586
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,363
[whimpers]
We're really high up!
587
00:20:38,363 --> 00:20:39,656
Not for long!
588
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,866
Let's go!
589
00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:45,495
- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
- [screaming]
590
00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:50,291
- We're gonna die!
- Yeah, we are!
591
00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:54,963
Wasn't that great?
592
00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:56,089
Wasn't that so much fun? Huh?
593
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:57,507
[whimpers]
594
00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:59,676
Why would you force me
to do that?
595
00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:02,137
Whoa. Hey, I didn't force you
to do anything, okay?
596
00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:03,847
You said I'd like it,
and I didn't!
597
00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,557
I didn't like it!
I hated it!
598
00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:07,809
- Yo, is that Pete Davidson?
- I miss my mom! I miss my mom!
599
00:21:07,809 --> 00:21:09,811
I'm sorry.
I was just trying to help you.
600
00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:11,229
What happened?
Are you okay? What's wrong?
601
00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:12,689
I don't know.
She's freaking out.
602
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:15,150
- Calm down. Calm down.
- You're horrible!
603
00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:16,109
He's not horrible.
He's great.
604
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,235
You said if things are gay,
605
00:21:17,235 --> 00:21:18,653
they're the worst things
in the world!
606
00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:20,363
Oh, come on.
You knew what I meant.
607
00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:21,948
I heard everything you said
in the car.
608
00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,450
Everything!
609
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,869
You said that you lied
about liking "Black Panther."
610
00:21:25,869 --> 00:21:27,037
He never even saw it!
611
00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:28,079
- What?
- What?
612
00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:30,373
You shut your mouth.
613
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:32,083
Guys, she's just a kid.
614
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:34,377
I mean, I s--
I saw "Black Panther."
615
00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:36,046
Multiple times, right?
616
00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:37,547
"Wakander" forever.
617
00:21:37,547 --> 00:21:39,090
There's no hard "R"
in "Wakanda,"
618
00:21:39,090 --> 00:21:40,300
you fucking racist.
619
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:41,634
What's with this guy?
[crown booing]
620
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,470
I told you
to watch that movie.
621
00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:45,055
So now,
we out here fucked up.
622
00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:47,390
The girl from "Ring" is out
here tryna get you cancelled,
623
00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:48,600
and Kenny Rogers
from the fuckin' future
624
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,060
thinks
he's a goddamn journalist.
625
00:21:50,060 --> 00:21:51,478
Go ahead.
Put the camera down.
626
00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:52,979
Hey, Davidson.
[booing continues]
627
00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:54,439
I got a "Weekend Update"
for you.
628
00:21:54,439 --> 00:21:56,191
You suck.
[laughter]
629
00:21:56,191 --> 00:21:57,484
Right? Come on.
630
00:21:57,484 --> 00:22:00,445
And your special was so-so.
631
00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:03,740
There's nothin' worse
than a Wakanda denier.
632
00:22:03,740 --> 00:22:07,035
[soft ambient music]
633
00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:13,041
♪ ♪
634
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:15,335
[sighs]
Hey, I'm sorry I--
635
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:17,295
I let you down today.
636
00:22:17,295 --> 00:22:19,798
You know,
it was my first day as a dad,
637
00:22:19,798 --> 00:22:22,175
and I fucked up, you know?
638
00:22:22,175 --> 00:22:24,427
Okay, let's slow down.
You weren't a dad.
639
00:22:24,427 --> 00:22:26,554
You were a co-babysitter
for, like, eight hours.
640
00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:28,807
I was kind of a dad, right?
641
00:22:28,807 --> 00:22:30,016
Okay, this is crazy.
642
00:22:30,016 --> 00:22:31,059
Can we stop acting
like you're gonna have,
643
00:22:31,059 --> 00:22:32,560
like, a kid tomorrow?
644
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,312
Why?
Why is that so crazy?
645
00:22:34,312 --> 00:22:35,605
Everybody's saying that to me.
646
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:37,273
They're saying,
"Oh, you can't do..."
647
00:22:37,273 --> 00:22:39,776
Why? Why?
I love very strong.
648
00:22:39,776 --> 00:22:42,070
I would take really good care
of a kid.
649
00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:44,823
Am I that crazy to think that
I could take care of something
650
00:22:44,823 --> 00:22:46,116
and love something and--
651
00:22:46,116 --> 00:22:48,451
No. No, I...
652
00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:52,288
I think you're gonna
be a really great,
653
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:55,500
not-high-all-the-time dad.
654
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:57,293
Someday.
655
00:22:57,293 --> 00:22:59,587
- I see it.
- Thanks.
656
00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:12,225
I can't do this again.
657
00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:15,061
- What?
- I can't do this again.
658
00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:17,605
If you wanna be friends
with me,
659
00:23:17,605 --> 00:23:20,316
I will be
your best fucking friend.
660
00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:23,653
But can you just
please stop confusing me?
661
00:23:23,653 --> 00:23:26,573
'Cause it's mean and it hurts.
662
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:32,829
♪ Loneliness ♪
663
00:23:32,829 --> 00:23:34,497
♪ ♪
664
00:23:34,497 --> 00:23:39,252
♪ How I miss your tenderness ♪
665
00:23:39,252 --> 00:23:40,712
♪ ♪
666
00:23:40,712 --> 00:23:45,884
♪ Seems so long
since you've gone ♪
667
00:23:45,884 --> 00:23:47,177
[sighs]
Hey, Mom.
668
00:23:47,177 --> 00:23:49,012
I'm--I'm fuckin' starving.
669
00:23:49,012 --> 00:23:51,222
Do you have food left over?
670
00:23:51,222 --> 00:23:53,850
Go take a look.
I'm watching "Grey's."
671
00:23:53,850 --> 00:23:56,519
Well, can I join?
672
00:23:56,519 --> 00:23:58,646
You're a grown man.
Do what you want.
673
00:24:02,776 --> 00:24:05,737
All right.
Catch me up.
674
00:24:07,072 --> 00:24:08,615
Meredith might have found out
675
00:24:08,615 --> 00:24:10,617
that McDreamy
was cheating on her in D.C.,
676
00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:12,452
but it's questionable.
677
00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:13,787
What a douchebag.
678
00:24:13,787 --> 00:24:16,456
I mean, doesn't he know
that she's the sun?
679
00:24:20,085 --> 00:24:22,545
Hey, after this, do you
wanna watch "Black Panther"?
680
00:24:22,545 --> 00:24:24,047
- No.
- Okay.
681
00:24:24,047 --> 00:24:29,052
- * I want you back
right by my side ♪
682
00:24:29,052 --> 00:24:31,262
♪ ♪
683
00:24:31,262 --> 00:24:37,143
♪ I feel bad,
don't you see? ♪
684
00:24:37,143 --> 00:24:42,190
♪ Oh, don't do this to me ♪
685
00:24:42,190 --> 00:24:43,733
♪ ♪
686
00:24:43,733 --> 00:24:48,738
♪ Please come back
to my side ♪
687
00:24:48,738 --> 00:24:50,323
♪ ♪
688
00:24:50,323 --> 00:24:54,994
♪ Wipe the tears
from my eyes ♪
689
00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:56,538
♪ ♪
690
00:24:56,538 --> 00:25:01,001
♪ Stop this hate in my heart ♪
691
00:25:01,001 --> 00:25:02,752
♪ ♪
692
00:25:02,752 --> 00:25:08,800
♪ Say that we will
never part ♪
693
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:15,807
♪ ♪
693
00:25:16,305 --> 00:26:16,474
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