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1
00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:05,214
(Cell phone ringing)
2
00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,844
Hello, this is Dwight schrute.
3
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:11,929
Hello?
4
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,680
Hello. This is Dwight.
5
00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:15,516
Yes! Hello? Hello?
6
00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,267
We do have that.
Hold on one second.
7
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,352
Jim, what are you doing?
8
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:19,770
And how many would you like?
9
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:20,938
Hang that up right now.
10
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,981
Absolutely. I can get that
out to you immediately.
11
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:24,316
This man is an imposter.
12
00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:26,461
Do not do business with him.
This is not Dwight schrute.
13
00:00:26,485 --> 00:00:31,448
Dwight left his cell phone on his desk,
so, naturally, I paired it to my headset.
14
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:33,700
(Cell phone ringing)
15
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:36,411
Okay, fine, I'll just let
it go to voicemail.
16
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:40,707
Hello, this is Dwight.
Hey, is this Dwight?
17
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:41,792
Yes, it is.
18
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,377
Oh, my goodness, you sound sexy.
19
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,920
Oh, thank you.
I've been working out.
20
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,649
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pam! Pam!
You are not talking to Dwight right now!
21
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:49,716
You are talking to Jim. Dwight?
22
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,386
No! Pam, I'm over here!
23
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:53,637
I'm confused.
24
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,430
Disconnect that right now.
25
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:56,598
You give me your earpiece.
26
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,809
Can't do that. Unsanitary.
27
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:00,811
(Dwight groans)
28
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,187
Okay, you know what? Fine.
29
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:05,816
I will reprogram my phone
to go to my office phone.
30
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:09,987
Done.
31
00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:11,947
(Telephone ringing)
32
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:14,324
This is Dwight.
33
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:17,536
Oh, and I forwarded his
desk phone to mine.
34
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:21,290
Oh, hello, mother.
Good news, I have married.
35
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:22,708
Tell father.
36
00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:25,002
Such a nice woman.
37
00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:30,299
(Cell phone ringing)
38
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:31,592
(Dwight exclaims angrily)
39
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:57,534
Michael: Today is
Toby Flenderson's last day.
40
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:01,455
I couldn't sleep last night.
I came in extra early.
41
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:02,831
So much energy.
42
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:06,168
There are certain days that you know you
will remember for the rest of your life,
43
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:10,130
and I just have a feeling that
today is one of those days.
44
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:12,507
Morning. Morning.
45
00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,302
So here we go.
Just a matter of hours now
46
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:17,804
until his horrible-ness
has left the building.
47
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,515
I'm going to set my watch alarm,
48
00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:22,392
and...
49
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:23,602
(Beeps)
50
00:02:24,603 --> 00:02:26,688
Good morning, Kelly.
51
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:29,566
I can't believe this is your
last day. How do you feel?
52
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,401
Fine. Good.
53
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,569
I feel weird.
54
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:36,365
First thing on the agenda, actually,
the only thing on the agenda,
55
00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:38,450
is the status of Toby's
going-away party.
56
00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,452
We have a butter-cream cake
57
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:42,162
and a slide show of Toby. Okay.
58
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,915
But so far we only have
two pictures of him.
59
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,000
Michael: Okay.
Well, this will not do.
60
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:50,587
Toby is going away forever,
61
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:53,382
and we need to do something
very, very special.
62
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,133
In some cultures,
when somebody leaves,
63
00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:57,719
like New Orleans' culture,
they have a parade,
64
00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:00,555
and they have a band, and
people party in the streets.
65
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,808
Do you mean leaves as in dies?
66
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,352
You want us to throw Toby
a New Orleans funeral?
67
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:10,315
If the devil were to explode,
and evil were gone forever,
68
00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:12,734
what sort of party
would you have?
69
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:13,860
Michael...
70
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:15,195
Like a beach blowout,
71
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,863
or a toga, a toga.
No, you know, no.
72
00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,907
Toga! You always do this.
73
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:23,078
We have a nice, modest party planned,
and then you come in and demand the world.
74
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:26,998
Let me be clear, there is simply no
money for anything other than a cake
75
00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:29,209
and to develop
a few more slides,
76
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:32,045
although Toby won't be in them.
77
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,256
I thought that you
might say that.
78
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,593
(Humming)
79
00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:46,518
Every year, my sweet, sweet grandmother
sends me a check on my birthday for $50.
80
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:51,773
And lately, she has been sending
me, like, nine or ten checks a year.
81
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,902
As Nana starts to...
82
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:58,739
But I knew I should be
saving it for something.
83
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,658
I just didn't know what
I should be saving it for.
84
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,577
And then I had an awakening.
85
00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:06,121
Michael, my motorcycle.
86
00:04:06,872 --> 00:04:10,000
So I put the money in my shoe,
andthen I forgot about it until now.
87
00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:14,755
I want a party that makes me
feel like I'm flying through the air,
88
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:19,885
without this ugly weight
holding me down, you know?
89
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:25,015
I want an anti-gravity
machine. I saw it in a movie.
90
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:28,101
You drink a potion, and then
you just start floating all around.
91
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:29,829
So how much anti-gravity
potion do you want?
92
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:32,981
No. No, you know what? This is not
a party planning committee anymore.
93
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:37,027
And I don't want your foot money,
and I feel uncomfortable participating.
94
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:40,864
Phyllis, can you do this?
95
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:45,285
Yes.
96
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,001
Hi. Can I help you?
97
00:04:53,084 --> 00:04:54,711
Hi. Yes. I'm Holly flax.
98
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,463
I was told to ask
for Mr. Flenderson.
99
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,757
As part of my last day,
I am training
100
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:02,135
the new human resources rep
in the ways of the company.
101
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:07,015
Again, the company has
allotted for this training one day.
102
00:05:07,933 --> 00:05:10,685
So this is hr.
This is your desk.
103
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,062
I love the view.
104
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,105
Yeah. It's great. Isn't it?
105
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,242
Hey.
106
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,368
Hey.
107
00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:33,834
What?
108
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,336
Guess who just got into
the Pratt school of design.
109
00:05:36,419 --> 00:05:37,921
No way!
110
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:40,382
What did I say? I said that
they'd love those sketches!
111
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:42,217
Congratulations! Oh, thank you.
112
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,740
I don't know why I doubted it,
because I'm so clearly awesome.
113
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,972
Yes. So, when do you start?
114
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,324
I don't know.
I didn't read it carefully.
115
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:51,101
I just saw "congratulations," and
I skimmed the list, I saw my name,
116
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,270
I came in here to tell
you and get a snack.
117
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,021
Wow. Busy morning. (Sighs)
118
00:05:56,565 --> 00:06:01,027
So, you know, it means I have to
go to New York for three months.
119
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,906
It's not a big deal. I'll come
visit you, and you'll visit me.
120
00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,158
It's only two hours
away. It'll be fine.
121
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:08,886
That part's going to suck,
but it'll be great.
122
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,787
Yeah. It sucks,
but it'll be great.
123
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,497
See how easy that is?
124
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:14,708
(Pam laughs)
125
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,669
I wouldn't go if things
weren't so solid with Jim.
126
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,272
And down the road,
if we have a family,
127
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:23,466
I couldn't go then either,
so the timing's perfect.
128
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:28,638
And that is the first time I've
ever used the word perfect in here.
129
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:30,783
Hey, Stanley,
I want to introduce you...
130
00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,100
Michael: Real good.
131
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,977
Toby's replacement.
(Dwight growls)
132
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,021
Wow.
133
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:37,856
Dwight: So what do we
know about her?
134
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:41,902
Well, we know that Toby
thinks she'll be great.
135
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,154
Now, strike one.
I hate her already.
136
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,488
I hate her, too.
137
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,449
Why do you hate her?
138
00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:50,994
Because she stinks
139
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:55,582
with her ways and her head.
140
00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,961
You know, Dwight, sometimes,
141
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:04,215
I don't know, I think you say
things just to agree with me.
142
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,539
Would that be such a bad thing?
143
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:07,218
Yeah, it would.
Just have a thought.
144
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,262
Have an original thought.
145
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,266
Although, I will agree
that her head is weird.
146
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,352
You know what we need to do?
147
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,436
(Whispers) What?
148
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,229
We need to sell her
an elevator pass.
149
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,982
But our elevator
doesn't require a...
150
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,735
Exactly. Little
old-fashioned hazing.
151
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:29,491
Hi. Are there any local companies
that rent anti-gravity machines?
152
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:31,117
Woman: Anti-gra vity machines?
153
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,243
That's right. Yeah.
154
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,287
What do they do exactly?
155
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,581
They make you feel lighter.
156
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,375
Anti-gra vity...
157
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:44,214
Anti-depressant? I could put
you through to someone on that.
158
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,340
Okay.
159
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:46,800
(Knocking on door) Yeah?
160
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,134
Hey, Michael?
161
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:49,886
Oh, hey, do you still work here?
162
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,222
I'd like to introduce you
to my replacement. Nah.
163
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,890
Come on.
No, I think I will pass.
164
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,558
Michael Scott, this is Holly.
165
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,102
Hi. Yeah, right. Hi.
166
00:07:57,185 --> 00:08:00,230
Okay, well, they hired a
female Toby. Good for the world.
167
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:03,984
Thank you, god,
for creating two of you.
168
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:07,654
Here's how things work here.
My job is to make the office fun.
169
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:13,785
Your job is to make the office lame,
and we have an eternal struggle, you and I,
170
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,787
and only one of us
can be the winner.
171
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,164
Spoiler alert, I'm going to win.
172
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,210
Man, someone doesn't like hr.
173
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,336
Yeah.
174
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:24,921
What did you do to him?
175
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,172
Nothing.
176
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,634
No, he tortured me
with his awfulness.
177
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:31,845
Yeah, I know what you mean.
178
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:35,098
I nearly fell asleep when
he gave me a tour of the files.
179
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,394
Well, look, I'll let
you get back to work,
180
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,564
but I really look forward to
working with you, Mr. Scott.
181
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:44,899
You can... Michael.
182
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:51,781
Michael: Thanks to Toby, I have a very
strong prejudice against human resources.
183
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:55,410
I believe that the department is
a breeding ground for monsters.
184
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:59,706
What I failed to consider, though,
is that not all monsters are bad.
185
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,333
Like e.T.
186
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:07,422
Is Holly our
extraterrestrial? Maybe.
187
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:11,801
Or maybe she's just an awesome
woman from this planet.
188
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,305
The pleasure's all mine.
189
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,473
Thanks.
190
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,534
I'm really looking forward
to sitting down with you
191
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,393
and finding out more
about what you do here.
192
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:21,478
Any time.
193
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,771
Yeah. What do you do here?
194
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:27,942
Excuse me.
195
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,487
What is wrong with this woman?
196
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,281
She's asking about stuff
that's nobody's business.
197
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:34,532
What do I do?
198
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:39,454
Really, what do I do here?
I should have written it down.
199
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,414
Qua-something.
200
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:47,629
Qua... quar...
Qua... qual... quar...
201
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:50,048
Quabity. Quabity assuance.
202
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,634
No, no, no, no,
but I'm getting close.
203
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,886
Have you been
introduced to Kevin?
204
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:56,471
No. Which one's Kevin?
205
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:00,350
(Snickering)
206
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:06,439
He's here on a special work program.
He's slow, you know, in his brain.
207
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,608
Yeah. Oh, good for you guys.
208
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:13,279
Hazing is a fun way to show a new
employee that she is not welcome or liked.
209
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:17,325
Accounting department, listen
up. Holly, human resources.
210
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,119
Angela, Oscar and Kevin.
211
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,703
Hello. Hello.
212
00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:23,373
Hi.
213
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,333
What do you do?
214
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:26,584
I do the numbers.
215
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,003
Oh, good for you.
216
00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:33,299
Do you want an M&M?
217
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:36,010
Oh, no. That is so sweet.
Thank you, though.
218
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:41,141
Yeah. I keep them here at my desk,
so that everybody doesn't take them.
219
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,852
Well, that is a very
safe place for them.
220
00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,271
Yeah.
221
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,148
Michael: Here she is, Holly.
222
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:52,819
You know, if we hung
Holly from the ceiling,
223
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,988
we'd have to kiss
underneath her.
224
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,782
So, I know. Oh, sorry.
225
00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:02,036
Question, are you real,
or are you a Holly-gram?
226
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,123
(Laughing sarcastically)
227
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,126
Nice. I've never heard
that one before, actually.
228
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,585
Ibet thatsgood.
229
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,254
Are these guys
boring your ears off?
230
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:12,755
Oh, no, no, I...
231
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,384
What is your commute like?
How long does it take to get in?
232
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:19,470
Oh, uh... you know, I
should make you a mix.
233
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,600
Do you have a cd player?
234
00:11:23,975 --> 00:11:25,935
Um... yeah. Okay.
235
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,103
All right. Thanks.
236
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,479
Great.
237
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:30,064
Do you like it?
238
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:33,651
It's a photo of everyone in the
office, so you can take it to Costa Rica.
239
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:34,777
You're not in it.
240
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,571
Well, I was taking the picture.
241
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,616
Iloveitlloveit
242
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:46,831
I would love a picture of the two
of us to also take to Costa Rica.
243
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,167
Sure. Do you have a camera here?
244
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,796
Does anyone have a camera here?
245
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,134
No one has a camera here.
246
00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:00,511
Okay.
247
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,235
I'm going...
I'll go get one. I'll just...
248
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:11,439
So I just got the fax.
Closing the sale, and it's big.
249
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,649
It is really big.
250
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,775
Ryan: Congratulations.
251
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,276
Thanks... don't interrupt.
252
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,488
Congratulations on doing your job.
Did you enter the sale on the web site?
253
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,051
Nope, I didn't.
I just logged it in...
254
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:22,200
All right, try to be
a team player here, Jim.
255
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,618
Log it in the web site.
256
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,054
All right, well, it already
went through, so...
257
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,121
Don't worry about that.
Just re-log it.
258
00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:28,831
(Dial tone drones) Hello?
259
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,297
Hmm...
260
00:12:36,381 --> 00:12:37,465
Jim?
261
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,473
I am downloading some n3p...
262
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,016
That's not it... music...
263
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,519
For a cd mix tape... yep.
264
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:50,895
Close... for Holly.
265
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:54,816
And I'm looking for perfect
songs that work on two levels.
266
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,025
What are the two levels?
267
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,736
The two levels being,
welcome to Scranton,
268
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:01,030
and I love you.
269
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,951
Okay, let's start with
the "I love you" level.
270
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:09,038
Hey, what's the group that was
from Scranton and made it big?
271
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,665
Was that U2? Yes.
272
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,625
You don't love Holly.
273
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:13,793
I think I do.
274
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:14,877
But you just met her.
275
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,255
Well, it's love at first sight.
276
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:21,050
Actually, it was... no, it
was when I heard her voice.
277
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:23,219
It was love at first
see with my ears.
278
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,138
Okay. It doesn't work like that.
279
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,890
Well, not a romantic.
280
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,183
Actually, I think I am.
281
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:32,687
And I have a little bit of
experience in office romance.
282
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:33,855
Oh, really? Yeah.
283
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,440
Like with who?
284
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:36,941
We've been through this.
285
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,026
Pam?
286
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:41,279
Yes. We are still dating,
and guess what, I took it slow.
287
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:42,739
Yeah, you took it too slow.
288
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:43,948
Well, we're really happy.
289
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:48,745
This thing with Holly
feels a lot like love to me.
290
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,205
And that's really sweet,
and you can think that,
291
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:54,667
but you don't say that out loud,
and you definitely don't say it to her.
292
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:56,419
I don't want her to get away.
293
00:13:56,502 --> 00:14:01,424
I know. Here, Michael, you can court
her as you get to know her, you know?
294
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:04,093
I mean, the office is
a great place for that.
295
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,596
Pam and I, we got to know
each other right out there.
296
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:10,516
I mean, the first time we
joked around was at my desk.
297
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:15,521
And the first meal we ever had
was in the break room, actually.
298
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:19,192
We were at two separate
tables, and I remember that.
299
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:23,321
The first time we kissed,
even, was right outside and...
300
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:28,910
Look, all I'm saying is that you can
get to know someone really, really well,
301
00:14:29,952 --> 00:14:32,205
like I did, right here at work.
302
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:39,754
I was thinking fireworks for
the party. What do you think?
303
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:42,131
Oh, boy. I appreciate
your help, but I can't...
304
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:46,511
No, no, no. I just meant I wanted
to pay to have fireworks at the party.
305
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,262
Why would you do that?
306
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,349
Because I'm going to miss Toby.
307
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:55,812
Yep. He's a heck of a guy, and I
think we should send him off right.
308
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,022
Doesn't matter. Here you go.
309
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,944
Really?
310
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,507
Well, we all want
a good party, right?
311
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:08,741
I'm going to propose tonight.
312
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:11,744
Holy crap.
313
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:27,343
Hey, Kevin. Hi.
314
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:29,929
Do you need some help?
315
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,806
I can't decide what to get.
316
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,767
Well, what do you like to eat?
317
00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,603
Well, I like pretzels,
318
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,232
but I really like chips.
319
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:42,733
Hmm.
320
00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:45,403
Well, how much money
do you have there?
321
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:48,448
Okay, let's see.
322
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:52,535
Fifty... this is a button.
323
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:58,499
Fifty-five, sixty-five, okay,
you have seventy-five cents
324
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:04,005
so that means you could get
anything up in the top row.
325
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:07,967
Hmm.
326
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:14,182
I'm totally going to bang Holly.
327
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:18,352
She is cute and helpful,
and she really seems into me.
328
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,855
Hey, Ryan. It's Jim.
329
00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,666
Look, man, I don't know
what's gotten into you lately,
330
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,126
but you know what?
I really don't care,
331
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,735
because you're
trying to get rid of me,
332
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:29,197
and I bet you think I don't care enough
about this job to actually fight back,
333
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,574
but you're wrong,
because I do, and I will.
334
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,701
So you can keep trying to
push me out of this place,
335
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:36,370
but guess what,
I'm not going anywhere.
336
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,000
(Exhales)
337
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:50,801
Holly: Damn it.
338
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,388
Hello, Holly.
339
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:58,601
Whoa, what are you
doing? You don't...
340
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:01,562
You don't have to do that. I mean,
we have already-put-together chairs.
341
00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,731
That's how we buy
them, actually.
342
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:08,528
Trying to adjust the lumbar
support on Toby's chair,
343
00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:10,947
and that made this
up-down lever thing not work,
344
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,282
and then I took the
whole chair apart,
345
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:17,203
and that is the story
of me on the floor.
346
00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,886
It's pretty good, right? Yeah,
I'm going to sell the movie rights.
347
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:23,000
And the sequel, woman
stands at desk and works.
348
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:31,676
So, I have no idea
how you sit like that.
349
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,386
Yoga.
350
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:37,557
(Imitating Yoda) Sit on floor
and put together chair, we will.
351
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:43,688
(Laughs)
352
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,398
Yoda.
353
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,281
(Imitating Yoda) Pass
curvy metal piece, you will.
354
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:05,042
So are you in town this
weekend? Because I'm not.
355
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:07,837
I'm not going to be in town.
356
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:10,339
I'm going out of town.
357
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,633
Oh, so you can't make my orgy?
358
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,428
Kidding.
359
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:19,682
Kidding. Acting.
360
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:20,766
Acting.
361
00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:22,685
Acting.
362
00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,021
Lovhz.
363
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,106
Yeah.
364
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,318
I did it.
365
00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:31,861
What did you do?
366
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,362
I talked to her. Holly.
367
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:39,368
Just pleasantries, nothing, you know,
not like, "do you want kids?" Or religion,
368
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,495
or "what side of the
bed do you want?"
369
00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:44,373
Hey, I can take either side
of the bed at this point.
370
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:46,292
Wow. Okay, so how did that feel?
371
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,960
It was hard.
I wanted to kiss her.
372
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,795
I'm so glad you didn't.
373
00:18:50,588 --> 00:18:51,589
(Inhales)
374
00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:53,883
Laying a base. Laying a base.
375
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,259
There you go.
376
00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:58,054
There's plenty
of base-lying left, right?
377
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,015
Yeah. Hey.
378
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,268
Hello, Angela.
379
00:19:04,352 --> 00:19:07,521
Phyllis. You look like you're
going to have a heart attack.
380
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,690
Can I get a list
of your vendors?
381
00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:11,859
I shredded it.
382
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,110
Why would you do that?
383
00:19:13,194 --> 00:19:15,655
Gosh, I just don't know.
Why do you think?
384
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:22,787
Sorry.
385
00:19:26,874 --> 00:19:28,376
What did you guys do?
386
00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:31,879
Oh... there he is. I thought
you had gone home already.
387
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:34,799
Why don't you go home
and come back for the party?
388
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:39,887
Well, we still have to
do the exit interview.
389
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:44,767
Yes, we do.
390
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,536
I'll let you in on
a little secret.
391
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,063
I've been very much looking
forward to this moment.
392
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:53,609
Very, very much. I have
been steeped in anticipation.
393
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:59,448
Toby has been cruising
for a bruising for 12 years,
394
00:19:59,532 --> 00:20:02,118
and I am now
his cruise director,
395
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,995
and my name is captain bruising.
396
00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:07,373
Wow, thanks, Michael,
I didn't expect you...
397
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:10,960
Can I just say that
of all the idiots
398
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:14,422
in all the idiot villages
in all the idiot worlds,
399
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:17,508
you stand alone, my friend.
400
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:18,634
Hello.
401
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,095
Hey. Hi. Good to see you.
402
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:22,221
Here?
403
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,181
I'm just having
a little exit interview.
404
00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:26,100
Yeah, I know.
That's why I'm here.
405
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:28,018
No, no, no.
This is very boring stuff.
406
00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:30,229
Why don't you take a tour?
Have you seen the bailer?
407
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,732
No, no. I'll look at it later.
408
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:35,818
It's part of my job.
409
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:39,572
Okay.
410
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:40,656
(Clears throat)
411
00:20:40,781 --> 00:20:41,967
Did you need me to take notes?
412
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,242
Hey, Pam, stay.
413
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:44,452
Okay.
414
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:52,418
All right, well,
then I will proceed.
415
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:56,756
I just have some questions
that I was going to ask.
416
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,427
Michael: Um...
417
00:21:05,556 --> 00:21:07,558
Who do you think you are?
418
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:13,522
I'm Toby.
419
00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:16,567
Yeah. Correct.
420
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,323
What gives... what...
421
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,117
What gives you the right?
422
00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:30,664
I brought the binder. Do
you want to take a little look?
423
00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:34,084
Sure. You know what? That
sounds good. I'll take a little look-see.
424
00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:36,712
Here we go. Thank you.
425
00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:44,678
"What would you improve
about dunder Mifflin?"
426
00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:46,305
At this point... no, no, no, no.
427
00:21:46,388 --> 00:21:47,932
Pvegotsomeideas
I guess. No, no, no.
428
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:50,351
I'm not asking it.
I'm just reading it out loud.
429
00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:52,478
I'd like to hear the answer.
430
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:56,732
(Sighs) Well, let
me see. I would...
431
00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:09,537
(Whispering) I'll kill you.
432
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:13,040
I guess everything's okay.
433
00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:17,253
I made it this far, right?
What's the point?
434
00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:19,856
Toby, why don't you
open your present?
435
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,132
No, no, no, no.
436
00:22:22,216 --> 00:22:25,928
Hey! Hey! Hey! This
might not be what I think
437
00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:29,211
that I don't even know is in there because
there are a lot of presents in my car,
438
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:31,308
and I don't know which is which.
439
00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:33,143
"Suck on this."
440
00:22:36,689 --> 00:22:38,232
What the hell is that? Michael.
441
00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:40,818
That's... what do
you mean "Michael"?
442
00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:46,991
That's not even my handwriting.
Hey, what the hell is going on here?
443
00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:49,535
Who thought it
would be hysterical
444
00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:52,580
to give Toby a rock
for his going-away gift?
445
00:22:52,663 --> 00:22:53,706
You did.
446
00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:55,332
You made me wrap it. No!
447
00:22:55,416 --> 00:22:57,394
Now, I thought it was over the
line. I just... (Michael humming)
448
00:22:57,418 --> 00:22:59,396
Okay. You know what that is?
You know what that is?
449
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:00,754
That is
450
00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:04,717
a psyche.
451
00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:09,889
Psyche. So that is not
my real gift to Toby.
452
00:23:09,972 --> 00:23:10,973
So what is your gift?
453
00:23:11,056 --> 00:23:13,267
My gift is forthcoming, Pam.
454
00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:14,727
What is it?
455
00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:19,648
I am going to give Toby...
456
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:20,774
Your watch?
457
00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:25,654
Yes, I am.
458
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:29,742
That was it. How did
you know that?
459
00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:31,493
I just knew. How did you know?
460
00:23:31,577 --> 00:23:33,287
Oh, that is so sweet.
461
00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:36,081
Well, that's my watch.
462
00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:38,459
Thanks. I'm going to
set it to Costa Rica time.
463
00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:39,668
Hey, that's good.
464
00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:42,171
Creed: It's the kid.
Look! Look! Look!
465
00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:45,466
Hey, it's the temp!
466
00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:46,800
Look! Dwight: Oh, my gosh.
467
00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:48,135
Creed: It's the temp. Pam: Wow.
468
00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:50,512
Pam: Is that the police?
Dwight: Yes.
469
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:52,097
Well, this is what happened.
470
00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:54,642
Ryan's big project
was the web site,
471
00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:58,479
which wasn't doing
so well, so Ryan,
472
00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:01,941
to give the impression
of sales, recorded them twice,
473
00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:04,610
once as office sales
and once as web site sales,
474
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:08,197
which is what we refer to in the
business as misleading the shareholders,
475
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,824
another good term is fraud.
476
00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:15,663
The real crime,
I think, was the beard.
477
00:24:16,997 --> 00:24:20,834
Oh, my god. Ryan. Oh, my god.
478
00:24:21,085 --> 00:24:24,254
I cannot wait to
visit Ryan in prison.
479
00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:26,698
I'm going to wear my hottest
track suit and get my hair done
480
00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:29,551
and then be like, "hi, Ryan."
And then all the other prisoners
481
00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:33,639
are going to be like, "damn,
Ryan, you got a hot ex-girlfriend.
482
00:24:33,764 --> 00:24:37,309
"I would never have treated her so
bad when I was outside of prison."
483
00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:40,270
Would you do me a favor
and connect me to Ryan?
484
00:24:40,354 --> 00:24:41,730
Absolutely.
485
00:24:46,068 --> 00:24:47,069
(Clears throat)
486
00:24:47,903 --> 00:24:49,363
Right to voicemail.
487
00:24:50,155 --> 00:24:53,117
Hey, Ryan, it's Jim.
You know what?
488
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,910
Totally disregard
that last voicemail,
489
00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:57,496
because you obviously
have your hands tied.
490
00:24:57,913 --> 00:24:59,081
Good luck.
491
00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:02,334
What's protocol on this?
492
00:25:02,418 --> 00:25:04,795
I normally do nothing, I guess.
493
00:25:07,673 --> 00:25:09,216
You shouldn't...
494
00:25:09,299 --> 00:25:10,551
(Knocking on door)
495
00:25:11,135 --> 00:25:12,761
Michael, are you okay?
496
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,014
I'm just worried
about my friend.
497
00:25:15,097 --> 00:25:17,057
Oh, god, of course you are.
498
00:25:17,224 --> 00:25:19,476
Just... I'm fine.
499
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,413
I'm holding it together.
I have a business to run.
500
00:25:21,437 --> 00:25:23,313
No, hey, stop. I'm cool.
501
00:25:23,397 --> 00:25:26,233
You can let yourself be
upset. He's your friend.
502
00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:29,695
Look,
503
00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:33,198
you know what I usually find?
504
00:25:33,282 --> 00:25:37,536
Michael: Holly is sweet
and simple, like a lady baker.
505
00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:42,124
I would not be
surprised to find out
506
00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:45,085
that she had worked in
a bakery before coming here.
507
00:25:45,335 --> 00:25:47,171
She has that kind of warmth.
508
00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:52,342
I'm pretty sure she's baked
on a professional level.
509
00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:56,388
Jim: Whoa.
510
00:25:56,930 --> 00:26:00,225
Cool. A bouncy house.
511
00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:02,478
Kevin, take your
shoes off first.
512
00:26:03,937 --> 00:26:06,106
(Dance music playing)
513
00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:08,317
No anti-gravity machine, huh?
514
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,736
Sorry, Michael. I don't
think they're real.
515
00:26:10,819 --> 00:26:12,738
Ferris wheel's pretty
cool, though.
516
00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:15,449
Wow. Look at our parking lot.
517
00:26:15,532 --> 00:26:16,950
Yeah. Who would have thought?
518
00:26:26,043 --> 00:26:28,087
Pam: Is Jim going
to propose tonight?
519
00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:31,590
He is, isn't he? No, he's not.
520
00:26:32,883 --> 00:26:33,926
Is he?
521
00:26:34,009 --> 00:26:37,054
It was a pretty good company,
but I just couldn't see a future there.
522
00:26:37,137 --> 00:26:39,598
They kept hiring
from the outside.
523
00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:42,684
It was easy to get in,
but impossible to rise up.
524
00:26:42,768 --> 00:26:45,813
That's what she... a
lot of places are like that.
525
00:26:47,106 --> 00:26:49,483
I think it's really cool
you hired Kevin.
526
00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:50,609
Thanks.
527
00:26:52,736 --> 00:26:54,446
(Whispers) Do you have it?
Almost.
528
00:26:58,283 --> 00:27:00,410
Here we go, here we go.
Put it in!
529
00:27:02,496 --> 00:27:04,498
I like... that's my car.
530
00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:08,210
Hey, what are you doing?
531
00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:12,047
Mose! What the hell
is going on here?
532
00:27:12,131 --> 00:27:13,358
Nothing you need
to know the details of!
533
00:27:13,382 --> 00:27:15,068
There is a raccoon in
the car! No, there's not.
534
00:27:15,092 --> 00:27:17,094
Michael: Dwight,
why did you do that?
535
00:27:17,177 --> 00:27:18,303
It was playful hazing.
536
00:27:18,387 --> 00:27:21,140
No! There's no such thing
as playful hazing.
537
00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:24,035
Dwight, I want you to
look at Holly right now.
538
00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:26,895
Everybody, I want you to
look at Holly right now,
539
00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:31,483
and maybe if you look at her deeply
enough, you'll see what I see in her,
540
00:27:31,567 --> 00:27:36,113
and that is that we are all
very lucky to have her here.
541
00:27:36,613 --> 00:27:41,869
Holly is the best thing that
has happened to this company
542
00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:44,538
since world war ii.
543
00:27:44,621 --> 00:27:46,498
Fifty years. She is the best.
544
00:27:48,625 --> 00:27:50,085
Take care of that, all right?
545
00:27:50,169 --> 00:27:51,329
It's not rabid. Michael: Shh!
546
00:27:52,713 --> 00:27:53,964
Thanks for bringing that up.
547
00:27:54,047 --> 00:27:55,441
Get it out. Come on.
Get it out. Get out.
548
00:27:55,465 --> 00:27:56,758
I'm really sorry.
549
00:27:56,842 --> 00:28:00,387
Michael, thank you so
much for saying that.
550
00:28:00,470 --> 00:28:02,931
I feel so welcome here.
I just...
551
00:28:08,395 --> 00:28:09,688
Excuse me.
552
00:28:13,108 --> 00:28:15,986
Did you see that? Did you
see it? Did you see what...
553
00:28:16,069 --> 00:28:17,863
Wowee.
554
00:28:18,989 --> 00:28:21,325
Well, jan didn't believe
in showing affection,
555
00:28:21,408 --> 00:28:25,621
so sometimes I don't know how
to react when a girl touches me.
556
00:28:27,497 --> 00:28:28,749
I like it.
557
00:28:28,832 --> 00:28:30,417
(Laughs)
558
00:28:33,003 --> 00:28:34,880
Hey, Mrs. Vance, we're all out.
559
00:28:34,963 --> 00:28:36,381
Hey, Kevin.
560
00:28:36,465 --> 00:28:40,135
I need you to do me a solid and
go buy some more barbecue sauce.
561
00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:42,471
Okay.
562
00:28:45,933 --> 00:28:47,517
Cool.
563
00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:49,561
You drive your own car?
564
00:28:49,645 --> 00:28:51,855
Yep. This is my car.
565
00:28:52,522 --> 00:28:54,149
Do you drive your own car?
566
00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:56,443
Yep. Just like you.
567
00:28:57,694 --> 00:28:59,196
Okay, bye.
568
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:02,199
(Car engine starting)
569
00:29:02,616 --> 00:29:05,702
Kevin, I'm really proud of you.
570
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:14,962
All right, let's hearit
for Darryl and his band.
571
00:29:15,379 --> 00:29:20,133
You know what, let's also give a shout
out to Phyllis for this awesome party.
572
00:29:20,634 --> 00:29:23,387
(People cheer/ng) Probably
the best one that we have ever had.
573
00:29:24,388 --> 00:29:28,225
But the real reason that we
are here is to say goodbye
574
00:29:28,308 --> 00:29:32,187
to a guy who we will probably
never ever see again.
575
00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:35,607
Now, a lot of you know that I
am an accomplished song writer.
576
00:29:35,691 --> 00:29:36,692
Song parody writer.
577
00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:39,403
I've done things like
beers in heaven.
578
00:29:39,486 --> 00:29:40,487
Jim: Classic.
579
00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:42,281
Or total eclipse of the fart.
580
00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,800
Not my favorite. I like
that one. I like that one.
581
00:29:43,824 --> 00:29:47,911
I love to sing them, but I am
not going to be doing that today.
582
00:29:47,995 --> 00:29:51,790
I am going to be doing something
I wrote specifically for Toby.
583
00:29:51,873 --> 00:29:56,044
Do you know goodbye stranger,
supertramp?
584
00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:57,296
Yeah.
585
00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:00,590
(Singing) It was early
morning yesterday
586
00:30:02,175 --> 00:30:03,927
I was up before the dawn
587
00:30:06,972 --> 00:30:09,308
and I really have
enjoyed my stay
588
00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:12,311
Toby must be moving on
589
00:30:14,938 --> 00:30:20,152
I'm going to miss Toby. He has a
nice calming presence in the office.
590
00:30:20,402 --> 00:30:22,237
Goodbye, Toby
591
00:30:22,321 --> 00:30:27,451
it's been nice
hope you find your paradise
592
00:30:27,701 --> 00:30:30,662
don't tell him I said this, but I
always thought he was kind of cute.
593
00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:35,167
Come tomorrow, feel no pain
594
00:30:36,001 --> 00:30:38,837
feel no pain
595
00:30:43,133 --> 00:30:47,888
Toby, Toby, Toby's going away
596
00:30:48,388 --> 00:30:52,267
see ya! He's out of here
see ya! He's out of here
597
00:30:54,436 --> 00:30:57,689
goodbye, Toby! Goodbye, Toby!
598
00:30:57,773 --> 00:31:01,902
Goodbye, Toby! Goodbye, Toby!
599
00:31:02,319 --> 00:31:03,445
Notbad.
600
00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:05,572
Oh, hey, thanks.
601
00:31:05,655 --> 00:31:07,699
Someday I would love to hear
beers in heaven.
602
00:31:07,783 --> 00:31:09,117
Oh, okay. Yeah.
603
00:31:09,201 --> 00:31:14,331
Well, actually, too soon.
It's very sexual.
604
00:31:14,414 --> 00:31:16,083
(Cell phone ringing)
605
00:31:16,166 --> 00:31:17,334
Sorry.
606
00:31:18,502 --> 00:31:19,878
Kevin.
607
00:31:20,587 --> 00:31:23,382
Kevin, where are you?
You missed my song, buddy.
608
00:31:23,465 --> 00:31:26,635
Yeah, Michael, I'm at gerrity's.
You have to come down here.
609
00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:28,946
Just pay for it, and we'll
reimburse you when you get back.
610
00:31:28,970 --> 00:31:30,680
No, I brought my money.
611
00:31:30,764 --> 00:31:32,724
Michael, there's something
that you need to see.
612
00:31:32,808 --> 00:31:34,643
What is it? Just hurry.
613
00:31:36,269 --> 00:31:37,270
Is he okay?
614
00:31:37,354 --> 00:31:38,456
Yeah, he's at the supermarket.
615
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,273
He needs me.
You know, the party,
616
00:31:40,357 --> 00:31:43,151
driving to the supermarket.
It's a big day for him.
617
00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:45,362
Yeah. That's true.
618
00:31:45,445 --> 00:31:49,199
Don't move a muscle. I will
be back momentarily. All right?
619
00:31:50,075 --> 00:31:53,120
You can drink, finish your dnnk,
andthenlfl_. Okay, I'll be back.
620
00:32:01,294 --> 00:32:02,712
Jan: Well, it was
good to see you.
621
00:32:02,796 --> 00:32:03,956
It was great to see you, jan.
622
00:32:04,005 --> 00:32:05,048
Yeah. So...
623
00:32:05,132 --> 00:32:08,176
Okay. Hello, jan.
624
00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:09,928
Oh, hello, Michael.
625
00:32:10,011 --> 00:32:11,847
Wow, Kevin, really?
626
00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:14,850
We're... sorry, we're
in the middle of a party.
627
00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:16,119
Is this why you
called me down here?
628
00:32:16,143 --> 00:32:18,395
Yeah. Michael, I just...
629
00:32:19,229 --> 00:32:21,731
I think you kids have
a lot to catch up on.
630
00:32:21,815 --> 00:32:22,983
Yeah. Okay.
631
00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:24,609
Thanks, Kevin.
632
00:32:30,115 --> 00:32:34,411
Wow. I can't believe it.
(Jan laughs)
633
00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:35,912
Look at you.
634
00:32:36,329 --> 00:32:37,664
Are you nauseous?
635
00:32:37,747 --> 00:32:39,416
Do you have cravings?
636
00:32:39,499 --> 00:32:41,626
You never touched my Propecia
or my Accutane, did you?
637
00:32:41,710 --> 00:32:42,752
No, I... good.
638
00:32:42,836 --> 00:32:45,297
Good. Thank god,
becausethats_. Didn't touch that.
639
00:32:45,547 --> 00:32:48,717
Wow. I am so happy.
I am so deliriously happy.
640
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,469
Why? Because you are pregnant.
641
00:32:50,552 --> 00:32:52,095
Yeah. And because
it obviously happened
642
00:32:52,179 --> 00:32:55,015
when we were together,
and I am very...
643
00:32:55,098 --> 00:32:56,766
Yeah, hdkjhappen_. ._proud.
644
00:32:56,850 --> 00:33:00,729
When we were together.
That's true, and... but you
645
00:33:02,522 --> 00:33:03,732
are not...
646
00:33:04,983 --> 00:33:06,443
You're not the dad.
647
00:33:16,203 --> 00:33:17,787
You cheated on me
648
00:33:18,747 --> 00:33:21,625
when I specifically
asked you not to?
649
00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:25,504
No, I did not...
I did not cheat on you.
650
00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:27,672
I did not.
651
00:33:28,298 --> 00:33:33,887
Well, okay, so it's not mine,
and it's not somebody else's, so...
652
00:33:35,222 --> 00:33:36,848
I know
653
00:33:37,807 --> 00:33:39,935
the whole toilet seat
thing is a myth, so...
654
00:33:40,185 --> 00:33:42,521
I went to a sperm bank.
655
00:33:44,064 --> 00:33:45,941
Yeah. You did?
656
00:33:46,024 --> 00:33:47,567
When we were going out?
657
00:33:47,651 --> 00:33:48,818
Yeah.
658
00:33:49,361 --> 00:33:53,490
I don't understand. You
always used to be very cautious,
659
00:33:54,282 --> 00:33:55,492
wearing two condoms.
660
00:33:55,575 --> 00:33:56,660
I know.
661
00:33:57,035 --> 00:33:59,222
You would rather have somebody
else's sperm than my sperm?
662
00:33:59,246 --> 00:34:02,582
No. No, no. It's not
just any sperm bank.
663
00:34:02,666 --> 00:34:06,586
I mean, it's really... this is
a really, really great place.
664
00:34:06,670 --> 00:34:09,297
It's amazing, actually. I'm
going to bring you the catalog.
665
00:34:09,381 --> 00:34:10,966
You should look through it.
666
00:34:11,049 --> 00:34:14,302
It's... in fact, it's right next
to that little breakfast place
667
00:34:14,386 --> 00:34:17,055
that you like in the city, where
you can draw on the tables.
668
00:34:17,138 --> 00:34:18,306
Ihop.
669
00:34:18,390 --> 00:34:19,474
Ihop.
670
00:34:19,975 --> 00:34:23,562
If I was 22, and I had lots of
time to have lots of children,
671
00:34:23,645 --> 00:34:25,748
then, sure, let's let Michael
have a shot at one of them,
672
00:34:25,772 --> 00:34:28,024
but honestly, I need to
make this one count.
673
00:34:28,525 --> 00:34:31,278
Oh, that's really good.
I feel so much better.
674
00:34:31,361 --> 00:34:33,905
I just needed to get all
of that out on the table.
675
00:34:34,114 --> 00:34:35,365
I'm glad you told me.
676
00:34:35,448 --> 00:34:37,593
Look, I don't know what you're
going to be doing tomorrow,
677
00:34:37,617 --> 00:34:42,998
but I have my lamaze class in
allentown, and you could come.
678
00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:47,586
I usually, you know, use a
foam noodle instead of a partner.
679
00:34:51,381 --> 00:34:53,717
I'll... I have to
think about it.
680
00:34:55,552 --> 00:34:56,678
Okay.
681
00:34:58,555 --> 00:35:03,059
My whole life I have
known two things.
682
00:35:03,268 --> 00:35:07,022
I love sex,
and I want to have kids.
683
00:35:07,188 --> 00:35:10,734
And I always thought that those
two things would go hand in hand,
684
00:35:11,026 --> 00:35:13,612
but now I think it might
be one or the other.
685
00:35:15,614 --> 00:35:17,240
Oh, look, they're starting.
686
00:35:23,747 --> 00:35:24,748
(Whoops)
687
00:35:34,716 --> 00:35:37,052
Well, I hope you had fun today,
688
00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:39,679
because you are never ever
throwing a party again.
689
00:36:02,952 --> 00:36:04,579
Hey.
690
00:36:04,663 --> 00:36:06,831
Can I have your
attention, please?
691
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:10,543
I was waiting for the
right time to do this,
692
00:36:10,627 --> 00:36:13,755
and I can't think of a better
time than right now.
693
00:36:13,838 --> 00:36:17,008
With the music playing
and all our friends around
694
00:36:17,092 --> 00:36:20,220
and fireworks going off.
695
00:36:20,303 --> 00:36:23,723
My parents are here,
Andrew and Ellen Bernard.
696
00:36:23,807 --> 00:36:27,143
Thank you for sharing
in this joyous moment.
697
00:36:27,227 --> 00:36:30,689
Ms. Angela Martin, will
you please join me on stage?
698
00:36:32,524 --> 00:36:35,360
Okay. Then I will come
to you, my flower.
699
00:36:37,278 --> 00:36:38,488
Darryl: Damn it!
700
00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:46,621
Angela, will you do me the honor
701
00:36:47,956 --> 00:36:52,836
of giving me your tiny
hand in marriage?
702
00:37:01,928 --> 00:37:03,054
Okay.
703
00:37:03,972 --> 00:37:05,473
Into the Mike, sweetie.
704
00:37:05,557 --> 00:37:06,975
I said okay.
705
00:37:07,058 --> 00:37:08,893
She said yes.
706
00:37:08,977 --> 00:37:10,228
(All clapping)
707
00:37:10,311 --> 00:37:12,731
And the crowd goes wild!
708
00:37:13,690 --> 00:37:14,691
(Whoops)
709
00:37:15,358 --> 00:37:16,359
(Clears throat)
710
00:37:20,822 --> 00:37:21,823
(Sighs)
711
00:37:23,324 --> 00:37:27,328
I've been carrying that ring
around in my wallet for six years,
712
00:37:27,412 --> 00:37:29,914
because you don't know when
you're going to meet the right girl
713
00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:32,041
and the moment's
going to be right.
714
00:37:32,125 --> 00:37:35,128
And tonight, with the fireworks
715
00:37:35,211 --> 00:37:39,841
and the music and
everything, it was right.
716
00:37:40,425 --> 00:37:42,010
Can I be your bridesmaid?
717
00:37:49,893 --> 00:37:51,269
D wi g h t.' Well,
718
00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:54,689
it was my own fault.
719
00:37:57,192 --> 00:37:58,693
Andy: Tuna!
720
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,405
I'm engaged. I know.
721
00:38:02,781 --> 00:38:04,091
That's awesome, man.
That's great.
722
00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:06,826
Mr. Andrew Bernard.
723
00:38:07,994 --> 00:38:09,788
It's got a nice ring to it.
724
00:38:11,372 --> 00:38:15,043
Hey... hey, you know,
I just realized,
725
00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:17,504
I don't have a picture
of the two of us.
726
00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:18,630
Oh, yeah.
727
00:38:18,713 --> 00:38:20,715
Yeah, could we? Sure.
728
00:38:20,799 --> 00:38:22,425
Meredith, do you mind?
729
00:38:23,259 --> 00:38:24,594
This one. Okay.
730
00:38:26,679 --> 00:38:28,807
One, two, three.
731
00:38:30,558 --> 00:38:33,061
Oh, let's do it again.
Pam, your smile is weird.
732
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:35,855
It's digital, so just take
as many as you want.
733
00:38:37,816 --> 00:38:39,192
One, two, three.
734
00:38:40,902 --> 00:38:42,487
One, two, three.
735
00:38:42,654 --> 00:38:47,200
I don't know. I just... I really thought
Jim was going to propose tonight.
736
00:38:50,787 --> 00:38:52,539
Hey there. Hey.
737
00:38:52,622 --> 00:38:53,891
So, you missed
something really big.
738
00:38:53,915 --> 00:38:54,958
Yeah?
739
00:38:55,041 --> 00:38:57,168
Yeah, Andy proposed
to one of your accountants.
740
00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:58,294
Oh, wow.
741
00:38:58,378 --> 00:38:59,712
And that's as specific
as I can be
742
00:38:59,796 --> 00:39:01,089
on my first day, but...
743
00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:03,174
Well, I can see Andy
proposing to Angela.
744
00:39:03,258 --> 00:39:04,735
I can also see him
proposing to Oscar.
745
00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:05,760
Okay.
746
00:39:07,262 --> 00:39:12,684
So, you know, somehow after all
those ribs, I'm still really hungry.
747
00:39:13,601 --> 00:39:16,354
I don't know, I was thinking of
maybe going off-campus somewhere
748
00:39:16,437 --> 00:39:18,147
and getting some dessert.
749
00:39:18,231 --> 00:39:19,232
Oh, um...
750
00:39:19,566 --> 00:39:22,861
Well, you know what, you
should go to the glider diner.
751
00:39:23,444 --> 00:39:26,322
Ask Stanley about that.
He practically lives there.
752
00:39:26,906 --> 00:39:27,991
Okay.
753
00:39:28,074 --> 00:39:29,284
I'll go to the diner with you.
754
00:39:30,493 --> 00:39:32,287
Oh, that would be great.
755
00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:34,539
We can go eat pie.
756
00:39:34,622 --> 00:39:35,748
I love pie.
757
00:39:36,457 --> 00:39:37,917
Me, too. Okay.
758
00:39:39,002 --> 00:39:40,169
Have a good night. Okay.
759
00:39:40,253 --> 00:39:41,296
Night.
760
00:39:51,097 --> 00:39:52,765
Yeah, it was a good day.
761
00:39:52,849 --> 00:39:55,560
I mean, first days are
always the hardest, right?
762
00:39:56,102 --> 00:39:58,980
Well, I should go.
I got to buckle him in.
763
00:40:03,192 --> 00:40:05,987
Michael: Well, this is it.
I am here to see you off.
764
00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:08,114
Thanks.
765
00:40:08,573 --> 00:40:09,657
Really, Michael?
766
00:40:09,741 --> 00:40:11,075
Sorry. Corporate policy.
767
00:40:11,576 --> 00:40:13,494
It's not.
You might take something.
768
00:40:13,578 --> 00:40:15,180
I don't think he's
going to take anything.
769
00:40:15,204 --> 00:40:17,165
Okay, security guard.
770
00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:18,958
(Beeping)
771
00:40:19,042 --> 00:40:21,169
Some kind of alarm.
772
00:40:21,336 --> 00:40:22,795
Okay.
773
00:40:23,755 --> 00:40:25,340
Hi, jan. It's Michael.
774
00:40:26,299 --> 00:40:29,469
I just... I just want
to let you know
775
00:40:29,552 --> 00:40:33,681
that I am going to go
to your lamaze class tomorrow,
776
00:40:35,391 --> 00:40:38,436
and if there's any details
you need to fill me in on,
777
00:40:38,519 --> 00:40:42,857
like what exactly lamaze is,
that would be great,
778
00:40:43,399 --> 00:40:46,486
and I will see you
tomorrow morning.
779
00:40:51,532 --> 00:40:55,119
I am going to be
kind of a daddy.
780
00:41:01,751 --> 00:41:04,587
Party planning's a real high,
like a runner's high.
781
00:41:04,671 --> 00:41:05,672
(Elevator bell dings)
782
00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:18,309
(Heavy breathing)
783
00:41:19,268 --> 00:41:21,104
Oh, god! What?
784
00:41:21,187 --> 00:41:22,188
(Phyllis gasps)
54553
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