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1
00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:03,462
(Phone ringing)
2
00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:06,298
Dunder Mifflin. This is Rolando.
3
00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:09,259
Oh, yes. She's been
expecting your call.
4
00:00:12,304 --> 00:00:13,680
Karen: Yeah?
5
00:00:13,764 --> 00:00:16,058
Karen? He's on line 1.
6
00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:18,018
Thanks, ro.
7
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,897
Hey. We finally connected.
How's Scranton?
8
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:24,942
Karen: I am the regional manager
of dunder Mifflin, utica branch.
9
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,111
Turns out it's a pretty easy
gig when your boss isn't an idiot
10
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,697
and your boyfriend's not
in love with somebody else.
11
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:33,575
Look, all I'm saying is it
would be a great opportunity
12
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:37,746
and we'd love to have you come
aboard. 80 think about it, okay?
13
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,208
Okay. Bye.
14
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:45,879
Look, for the record, a certain Scranton
salesman approached me, okay?
15
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:47,297
Michael: This is perfect.
16
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,483
Dwight: He looks like your twin.
17
00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:51,760
This is a dummy, a la
Ferris Bueller's day off.
18
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:54,513
We have tied a string to the
wrist, which goes to the door.
19
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:56,932
When somebody opens the
door, the hand goes down,
20
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,016
(snoring)
21
00:00:58,100 --> 00:01:01,478
Hits the remote, turns on the
tape recorder, which is me snoring.
22
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:05,357
Now, nobody knows whether I
am here or whether I am gone.
23
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,652
I'll know. But you
will not tell anyone.
24
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,880
I won't need to because
we'll be together playing hooky.
25
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:11,905
Well... yeah!
26
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:14,950
Sometimes. Most of the time
I will be with Ryan. Or Darryl.
27
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,243
(Knocking on door) Yes.
28
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,328
Oh, good, good.
Stanley. First victim.
29
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,788
This is what I want you to do.
30
00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:22,124
Go out, come back in.
We're gonna hide.
31
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:24,018
I want you to tell me
if this looks like me, okay?
32
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,794
I don't understand
why sleeping atyourdesk
33
00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,021
is better than you
not being here.
34
00:01:27,045 --> 00:01:29,006
Just go out and come back in.
35
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:34,011
I got an offer from utica for more
money. And I'm going to take it.
36
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,262
What?
37
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:36,346
(Door closes)
38
00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,716
Hi, everyone, can I have
your attention, please?
39
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:18,305
I just thought you all should know that
Stanley Hudson is planning on leaving us
40
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,599
because our old friend,
Karen from utica,
41
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,393
is going to give him
more money to work there.
42
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:26,313
Dmhght10kay no. No, no, no!
43
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:29,149
No! You completely
misinterpreted my tone!
44
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,443
This is a horrible thing.
45
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:36,406
Clearly, Karen is trying to get
back at us because Jim dumped her.
46
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:37,884
Oh, I don't think
that's what's happening.
47
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,452
Okay, well,
smarty pants, then why?
48
00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,997
Why is she trying
to take Stanley from us?
49
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,791
I think it's because
of my sales record.
50
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:48,960
That could not possibly be it.
51
00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:53,006
You cannot take the hilarious
black guy from the office.
52
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,468
Stanley is part of what makes
this branch so extraordinary.
53
00:02:56,551 --> 00:03:01,473
The bluesy wisdom, the sassy
remarks, the crossword puzzles,
54
00:03:01,556 --> 00:03:05,102
the smile, those big,
watery, red eyes.
55
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,521
I don't know how George Bush
did it when Colin Powell left.
56
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:11,233
And if utica thinks that they
are going to poach Stanley,
57
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:12,734
they have another thing coming.
58
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,159
How can I get you
to stay? Money.
59
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:24,413
Yeah. We all want money.
60
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,833
But there is none
in the budget. So,
61
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,292
tell me why
you're really leaving.
62
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:30,752
Money.
63
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,921
Mo' money, mo'
problems, Stanley.
64
00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:37,259
You of all people should know
that. Let me ask you this, if I were...
65
00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,844
Money. Okay.
66
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,806
Oscar, did you bring it?
67
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,811
To be edwardian. His best work.
68
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,564
Okay. Well, I have the
tablecloth. Don't forget the flatware.
69
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:51,773
Sure thing, Pam. Can't wait.
70
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:56,027
Oscar, Toby and I are founding
members of the finer things club.
71
00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:59,990
We meet once a month to discuss
books and art, celebrate culture
72
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,783
in a very civilized way.
73
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:07,247
Sometimes the debate can get
heated, but we 're always respectful.
74
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:11,376
There is no paper, no plastic
and no work talk allowed.
75
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:15,130
It's very exclusive.
76
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,923
Besides having sex with men,
77
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:20,552
I would say the finer things
club is the gayest thing about me.
78
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,432
So tell me again why I
can't be a part of your club?
79
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,835
Because some people
think that you
80
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:30,103
monopolize the conversation
by trying to be funny.
81
00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,773
Oscar? Some people.
82
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:33,940
Karen: (On phone) Hello?
83
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,817
Filippellers!
How are they hanging?
84
00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:37,944
Michael. Michael. To
the left? To the right?
85
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:40,906
Listen, I'm... okay, enough
small talk. Go ahead.
86
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:41,990
You called me.
87
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:43,909
Yes. Listen.
88
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,454
You cannot tear Stanley
from his family like this.
89
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,956
I'm pretty sure his family
is coming with him.
90
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,249
No, his work family.
91
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:55,462
Look, this is very hard for me, but I
am going to give you my best man.
92
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:56,963
You may have Toby.
93
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,715
Toby's not a salesperson.
94
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:03,512
You can train him. He's very,
very smart and funny and charming.
95
00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,305
(Groaning)
96
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,934
You know, I can't do it.
Toby is the worst.
97
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:14,272
That was a bluff. Listen, if you
are going to poach one of my guys,
98
00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:15,899
I am going to poach
one of yours.
99
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,151
Ooh. Goodbye, Michael.
100
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,486
Okay. Goodbye.
101
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,321
Wait! Wait! Karen!
102
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:24,950
Could you transfer me to one of your
salespeople, please? Your best one.
103
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:26,243
(Phone hangs up)
104
00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:31,706
I have Ben nugent on the line.
He is the top salesman in utica.
105
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,792
Hi, Ben. Michael
Scott. Hi, Michael.
106
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,169
I am going to cut right
to the chase here.
107
00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:39,965
Do you like magic? Because
I am a genie in a bottle
108
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:42,509
and I am going to
Grant you three wishes,
109
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:47,264
to move to Scranton, to have a
great job and to be my best friend.
110
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,724
Aren't you the guy that hit
the woman with your car?
111
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:50,809
(Chuckles)
112
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,644
(Softly) Get out.
113
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:58,692
Yeah. I also saved her life,
but I guess that's not as grabby.
114
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,903
Everyone says Scranton branch
is worse than Camden.
115
00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:04,614
Didn't everyone from
stamford quit like immediately?
116
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:07,075
No, ifired them and you're next.
117
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:12,247
So, what do you say?
118
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,540
Seriously?
119
00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:17,419
Michael: What is that guy
talking about? Scranton is not lame.
120
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:21,840
Scranton is the cool, fun
branch. We're like animal house.
121
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:27,888
Found him! Jim!
We're getting crapped on.
122
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:30,891
Word is our branch sucks and
we have to do something about it.
123
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,869
So what are you going to do?
What are we going to do?
124
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,729
We are going to make a monster
sale is what we're going to do.
125
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,647
Corcoran dropped staples.
Did they?
126
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,484
Yes, they did. Oh, yes they
did and we are going to murder it.
127
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:46,489
You, me, Dwight are going to jump in my pt
cruiser, we are going to crush this sale.
128
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:49,993
We are going to prove...
What the hell is that music?
129
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,912
It's Vivaldi. For finer things.
130
00:06:51,995 --> 00:06:54,164
That's the problem.
That's the problem.
131
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:58,627
We need rock n' roll, Pam.
Rock n' roll. All right?
132
00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:02,297
Oh, my god.
133
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:06,968
That's why people are leaving.
134
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,806
I have no words.
135
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:26,237
We just passed
the exit for corcoran.
136
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:28,823
What? What? We did?
137
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:32,786
Surprise! Yeah!
138
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,913
Look at his face!
Look at his face!
139
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,057
What are we doing? Egg dripping.
140
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,123
Michael: So psyched.
141
00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:39,084
What are doing, Dwight?
What are we doing?
142
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:42,128
Oh, well, gee, Jim, I don't know. I
guess there's no sales call today.
143
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:46,508
We are going on a panty raid
to utica is what we're doing.
144
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,385
We're going to utica? Uh-huh!
145
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:53,223
I'm not going to utica right now.
Yes, you are. Oh, buckle up, Jim.
146
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,266
We are going to make Karen wish
147
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:57,310
that she had never
been dumped by you.
148
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:02,315
Utica! Utica! Utica!
Utica! Utica! Utica!
149
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:04,776
Utica. Utica.
150
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,070
Yow! In yourface!
151
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:11,616
I can't believe you guys. I'm not going
to go further piss off my ex-girlfriend.
152
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,427
Are you calling Karen?
No, I'm not calling Karen.
153
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:16,246
He's lying. Yeah. Get it.
154
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,498
What are you doing?
Stop it! Dwight!
155
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:21,459
Are you kidding me?
156
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,628
No communication with
the outside world, Jim.
157
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:26,214
Had to be done.
It had to be done.
158
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,174
Well, that kind of sucks
159
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:31,428
because it had all the photos
of my brother's new baby on it.
160
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:37,100
Oh, that is too bad. Shoot
161
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:49,821
Okay. Hey, Dwight, he found it.
162
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:51,799
You know what? I'm just
going to call a cab from here.
163
00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:54,576
All right. You're going to
miss the best prank ever.
164
00:08:54,784 --> 00:09:00,165
All right. Wait, what are
you planning on doing?
165
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:03,330
Do you really want to know?
166
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:04,377
Oh, god.
167
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,880
Follow me. Come here.
Here's what we brought.
168
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,215
We brought uniforms
from the warehouse.
169
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:10,800
I brought silly string.
170
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:13,803
Dwight brought gasoline and
chunks of rubber to make stink bombs.
171
00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:16,514
Or real bombs. No,
no. Not real bombs.
172
00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:18,433
Yeah, come on.
It will be so bad ass.
173
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:21,311
Oh, maybe. I don't
know. I don't know.
174
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,688
No. No. It could
be bad ass. It will.
175
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,024
Yeah, it will. No, absolutely
we're not doing this.
176
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:29,527
Come on. I already filled the bottles
with the gas. It's going to be so bad ass.
177
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:32,989
Are you kidding me? We've been driving
around with this in the trunk the whole time?
178
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,700
Michael: Teach her to offer
Stanley more money.
179
00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:42,874
So, the deal was Dwight doesn't
blow anything up and I wear a costume.
180
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,628
And a mustache.
181
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:52,133
So, why did you
and Karen break up?
182
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,927
Was it the sex? What?
183
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,321
I can't imagine
the sex being bad.
184
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:56,989
I mean, her body is awesome.
Okay, you know what?
185
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,808
Why don't we play that alphabet
game that you were talking about?
186
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:03,686
Okay, I will start. A.
187
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:07,065
(Singing) A, my name is
Alan and my wife's name is Alice
188
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:11,236
we live in Alaska and we sell...
189
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,988
Damn it. What can we sell?
190
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,258
Doesn't matter. I'm trying
to think of what we can sell.
191
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,201
It doesn't matter.
192
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:24,165
What is that? That sound. The air
conditioning leaking or something?
193
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:26,584
That doesn't make sense.
Couldn't be.
194
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:28,128
What is that?
195
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,924
Dwight, are you peeing?
196
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,607
I'm peeing in this
empty can. Oh, my god!
197
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,636
Oh, come on, man.
That is disgusting, Dwight!
198
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,989
You said we couldn't make
any more stops. I really had to go.
199
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,282
Michael, watch
the road! Oh, god!
200
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,891
Hey, you're making
me spray! Oh, my god!
201
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,019
I'm going to kill you, man!
Michael, Michael, pull over!
202
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,521
Thatisjust so
disgusting! Pull over.
203
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,314
I think I cut
my penis on the lid.
204
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:53,194
Can you imagine a life where all you have
to do is summer in the Italian countryside?
205
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:58,366
I know, right? I just want to go and
look at art and swim in the adriatic.
206
00:10:58,575 --> 00:11:02,370
And spend time with George
Emerson. That's what I would do.
207
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,598
I mean, he's the best male
protagonist we've read, right?
208
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:08,793
Totally. I mean, come on. Such
a free spirit. What are you doing?
209
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:12,463
Just came to discuss my
favorite e.M. Forster novel
210
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:18,094
Pam, these finger sandwiches
look finger-licking delicious, Pam.
211
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:21,055
I'm sorry, Andy,
but this is a closed club.
212
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:29,230
The finer things club is the
most exclusive club in this office.
213
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,608
Naturally, it's where
I need to be.
214
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:35,987
The party planning committee is my
backup and Kevin's band is my safety.
215
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:37,155
Fine.
216
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:42,160
I'iljust...
217
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:47,665
Sit here in the common area
and read my book,
218
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:50,084
which just happens to be the
very same book you're reading.
219
00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:53,046
All right, just know you're
not in the finer things club.
220
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,215
Why can't I be in the club?
221
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:59,385
I can't believe we're here. I
can't believe this is happening.
222
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:00,845
Dwight: Believe it.
223
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,347
Afro wig?
Do you want the afro wig?
224
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,349
No. Michael,
I'm not leaving the car.
225
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,476
Yeah. Oh, god.
All right, Dwight?
226
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,359
Here's how it's going
to go down. You and I...
227
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,647
(Whispering) Guy's
going by. Shh.
228
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:14,317
You and I are going to sneak inside,
pretend that we are warehouse workers.
229
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,903
Then we will silly string
the bejesus out of the place.
230
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:20,573
And if we have to defend ourselves, I
will stab the security guard in the eye
231
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,952
with a jumbo chalk. No.
No, you won't do that. Nope.
232
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,412
Then I'll grind up thejumbo
chalk and blow it in his eyes.
233
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:29,123
Dwight, nothing with
the eyes. Please?
234
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,085
Okay, Jim.
235
00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:35,922
Oh, my god, that's her. That's
her. Go. Go. Go. Go.Go.Go.Go.Go.
236
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,466
Dwight: Move. Move. Move.
Move. Move. Michael: Shut up.
237
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,189
This is the dumbest thing
we've ever done.
238
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,563
Pam: I think it's interesting
how forster uses Italy
239
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:55,858
to represent sexuality
and passion
240
00:12:55,942 --> 00:13:00,488
and that also brought up themes
of, you know, fate and coincidence
241
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,991
and Lucy's torn between
these two things.
242
00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:05,243
She's torn between
passion and convention.
243
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:06,703
Kevin: Damn it.
244
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,080
It just...
245
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,711
To be making the case
for passion
246
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,796
in edwardian times
I thought was...
247
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,589
Yes! Got it.
248
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:22,510
Damn it.
249
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:29,183
Made him sort of ahead of his time as a
writer. Very brave choice, I thought, also.
250
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:34,063
And George's
youthfulness, his freedom
251
00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:38,985
(microwave beeping)
Evokesfeehngs_.
252
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:44,365
What are you microwaving?
253
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:45,700
Popcorn.
254
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:48,202
Why don't you use the
microwave in the kitchen, Phyllis?
255
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:51,497
Someone needs to clean it.
It smells like popcorn.
256
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,958
(Microwave whirring)
257
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,590
So, Stanley, are you
really out of here?
258
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,550
Yeah. Looks that way.
259
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:06,721
I'm going to miss you, man.
260
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:12,101
You've been like an uncle to
me. Like a kind old uncle Remus.
261
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,146
I want to stay intouch.
262
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:21,503
Michael on radio:
We are in the stairwell.
263
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,446
Dwight: We 're climbing
some stairs.
264
00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:25,239
(Dwight panting)
265
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,676
I am breathing heavily.
Okay, you know what?
266
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:30,578
You really don't need to be updating
me as much as you're updating me.
267
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,901
Michael: There's a guy. There's a guy.
Dwight: There's a security guard coming by.
268
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:37,585
Hello. We're warehouse workers.
Would you like more proof?
269
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:39,504
Guard: Okay.
270
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,589
Michael: Oh, my god.
That was very close.
271
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,233
Dwight: I can see
the security guard's eyes.
272
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,510
No.no.dontdo anything to them.
273
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,637
I have to do something
to his eyes.
274
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,515
The eyes are the groin
of the head.
275
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:55,144
All right, great Scott, if you found that
choking hazard poster, just head on home.
276
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:59,774
Michael: We've got something far better,
their crown Jewel. Their industrial copier.
277
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:01,984
Isn't that thing huge?
278
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:07,365
It's enormous, but it's got wheels. We 're
wheeling it down the hall into the stairwell.
279
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,493
Get the car ready,
keep the engine running.
280
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:13,246
No. That is a terrible idea.
Don't do this.
281
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:14,372
(Michael screams)
282
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:15,456
(Loud crash/ng)
283
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,683
Michael: (Groaning) My hip bone!
284
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:21,629
We 're wedged between the copier and
the railing! I'm stuck. Oh, my left hip!
285
00:15:21,712 --> 00:15:23,982
Dwight: Leave us, Jim! Leave
us. Save yourself help us. No!
286
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:26,259
Don't leave us. Help us.
We need help, Jim!
287
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:29,512
Okay, first of all, stop using
my name. And second of all...
288
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:30,763
Michael: You got to move out!
289
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,391
Damn it, guys. Would you
just move over a little bit?
290
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:34,952
Dwight: I'm losing
control of my bladder!
291
00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:37,687
Oh, my god. Oh, my
god. Karen's back.
292
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:41,232
Dwight: Is that Karen? Michael:
Take her to a motel. Make love to her, Jim.
293
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,109
No. I'm not doing that.
294
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:44,819
Just say you want
to get back together.
295
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,320
No. I'm not doing that.
296
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:49,949
It doesn't have to mean
anything. Just do it for Stanley.
297
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:54,328
Come on, Jim. Just climb on top of
her and think about Stanley. Oh, god.
298
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,496
(Michael groaning in pain)
299
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:58,583
Jim, if this is it for me,
promise me something.
300
00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:02,712
Jim? Host the dundies.
301
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,466
Hey, Karen.
302
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:09,969
What are you doing here?
303
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,929
First of all, hi.
304
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:13,556
What are you doing here?
305
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:14,849
You good?
306
00:16:16,559 --> 00:16:18,436
I'm just checking
on the other branches.
307
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,230
Michael wants me to do that
from time to time. So...
308
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:24,567
Michael: Do not tell Karen
about the industrial copier.
309
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,819
Copy that.
310
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:31,949
I cried for weeks over that guy, so
yeah, seeing him climb out of a pt cruiser
311
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:35,369
in a ladies' warehouse
uniform felt pretty good.
312
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:40,082
Let me ask you, did you
accomplish what you wanted?
313
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:43,920
Listen, lady, you can expect
these kind of repercussions
314
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,297
as long as you keep trying
to poach our people.
315
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,965
I'm taking Stanley.
316
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:50,927
Then we will burn utica
to the ground.
317
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,011
(Whispering) Dwight.
318
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:54,180
(Michael clears throat)
319
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,309
Granted, maybe this
was not the best idea,
320
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:02,188
but at least we care enough
about our employees
321
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,941
that we are willing
to fight for them.
322
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:09,237
And if you so much as harm
a hair on Stanley's head,
323
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:13,574
we will burn utica
to the ground.
324
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,417
Jim, hang on a second? Yes.
325
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:29,966
So you're still doing
this kind of stuff, huh?
326
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,301
Yeah. Trying to quit, though.
327
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:36,180
If you wanted to see me, you could
have just called me like an adult.
328
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:38,808
Oh, no, I didn't
want to see you.
329
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:42,103
Not that I'm not happy
to be seeing you right now.
330
00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:45,565
I'm just saying ultimately I
was here for the copier. Equal
331
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:48,484
I'd say it was equal.
So, good to see you.
332
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,906
I mean, it's just that,
you know,
333
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:57,952
Pam and I are still dating
so... and I just mean that
334
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:02,707
things are going really well
so I didn't want to see you.
335
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:09,213
Oh, things are going really well? Are they?
They are? That's great. That's so great.
336
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:11,799
I want to hear more about
how happy you are with Pam.
337
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:15,553
Can you tell me more about that?
Thank you so much for coming to utica
338
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:19,599
and breaking my copier and telling me how
well things are going in your relationship.
339
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:20,933
Really. Thank you.
340
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:27,565
All right. You are welcome. I
am going to go because of traffic.
341
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,650
Traffic. Yeah.
Oh, definitely. So...
342
00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:33,279
Go... go because of traffic.
Definitely. Beat the traffic.
343
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,823
I will.
344
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,038
(Clears throat)
345
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,832
We tried and we failed.
346
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:51,422
Stanley, you may go.
347
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:58,471
Here is a box for your things.
348
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:05,394
But I doubt that that box will be
able to contain all the memories that
349
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,355
you have of this place.
350
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:13,069
Fly away, sweet little bird.
Fly away and be free.
351
00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:15,905
Pam.
352
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,284
I'm going to need some help
writing a want ad.
353
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:28,709
Wanted. Middle-aged
black man with sass.
354
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:31,921
Big butt. Bigger heart.
355
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,715
(Knocking at door)
I can't do this.
356
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:37,718
Michael, a word?
357
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,096
Of course.
358
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,018
I changed my mind.
I want to keep this job.
359
00:19:47,061 --> 00:19:48,354
Really?
360
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:52,483
I wasn't really planning on
leaving. All I wanted was a raise.
361
00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:58,239
How on earth did Michael call my
bluff? Is he some sort of secret genius?
362
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,451
Sometimes I say crazy things.
363
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,374
Hey.
364
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:11,377
I'm so sorry. Rolando
told me everything.
365
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:14,755
How humiliating.
366
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:19,176
Would it help you
to return to another age,
367
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:23,597
a time of refinement
and civility?
368
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,977
Are you inviting me
to the finer things club?
369
00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,937
Oh, oh, come on!
370
00:20:32,857 --> 00:20:35,177
(In Irish accent) Angela's
ashes. Top of the morning to it.
371
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:38,195
Frankie's prose is finer
than a pot of gold, say I.
372
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:43,033
Okay. Did you get it
out of your system?
373
00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:47,538
Yup. No, I mean I really liked
it. I thought it was a fun read.
374
00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:48,914
Mmnpmnm. Fun?
375
00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:50,249
Yeah. Really?
376
00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:54,170
What was fun about it for you?
Was it the death of the twins?
377
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,549
No, that wasn't fun.
378
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,342
Did you even read it?
379
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,844
Of course I read it.
380
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,095
Oscar: How does it end?
381
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,930
Who was the main character?
382
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:10,269
Angela. Nope. The ashes.
29368
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