Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,209 --> 00:00:03,670
And the same thing goes for
quarterly reports. They are unreadable.
2
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:05,231
They're just numbers
and boring and...
3
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:06,256
Blech!
4
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:09,426
So what I was thinking is that maybe
we should have some sort of graphic,
5
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,638
like if we have a bad
quarter, put in a storm cloud.
6
00:00:14,932 --> 00:00:18,519
And when we have a good quarter,
7
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:22,481
fireworks or a racecar.
8
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:26,443
Doesn't have to be a racecar.
Use your imagination.
9
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:29,238
There's this cube on the screen,
and it bounces around all day,
10
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:33,158
and sometimes it looks like it's heading
right into the corner of the screen,
11
00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:36,328
and then at the last minute, it
hits a wall and bounces away.
12
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:39,790
We are all just dying to
see it go right into the corner.
13
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,796
Pam claims that she saw it one day
when she was alone in the conference room.
14
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,799
Okay. I believe she
thinks she saw it.
15
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,094
I saw it. I saw it,
and it was amazing.
16
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:54,405
Who said I didn't see it?
Did Jim say that I didn't see it?
17
00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:55,472
I saw it.
18
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:58,475
We have a lot
of colored paper here.
19
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,978
Why, oh, why do we keep
printing this on white?
20
00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,813
No! Come on!
21
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,190
Yeah! I know.
22
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,192
I know. It's bland.
23
00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:08,402
It's never going to happen.
24
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,320
Dude, you gotta believe.
25
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,031
Maybe we could have
some sort of riddle?
26
00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:14,116
Wait for it.
27
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:20,038
Like something that you have to
look for, sort of a where's Waldo?
28
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,957
(All exclaiming)
29
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:26,753
All right. All right.
Let's quit while we're ahead.
30
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:28,046
That was so awesome.
31
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:30,465
That was awesome. Thank you.
32
00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:36,054
Some days I am just on fire.
What can I say?
33
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,465
Hey. There he is.
34
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:13,216
Hey, Meredith.
How are you feeling?
35
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,111
I never thanked you
for coming to the hospital.
36
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,596
Oh, please. It was my
pleasure. Well, we all came, so...
37
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,890
Well, I really appreciate
you coming.
38
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,892
(In singsong voice)
I'm singling you out.
39
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,018
(Chuckles nervously)
40
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:25,228
Anyway, I have this sharpie,
41
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,981
and I was wondering
if you could sign my cast.
42
00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,524
Mmm-hmm.
43
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:35,923
Can you write
where I can read it?
44
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,324
Oh, yeah.
45
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,415
(Whispering) I'll read this
when I get home.
46
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,833
All right.
47
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,482
Pam: Michael, this is the press
release I was telling you about.
48
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,216
Ryan wants you to
share it with everyone.
49
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:55,550
Does he?
50
00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:56,927
He does.
51
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,888
Okay. Attention.
52
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,015
Earthlings, I have some news.
53
00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:05,185
Beep, beep, beep.
54
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,812
Beep, beep, beep. Okay.
55
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,774
Today is the big day that I'm
heading to New York to attend a party
56
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,901
with Sushi and important people.
57
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:15,987
On an unrelated note, if anybody
has an interesting anecdote
58
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,948
that is not boring
and easy to memorize,
59
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,909
please drop by my office
before I leave. Thank you.
60
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,912
Is that really what Ryan
wanted you to tell us?
61
00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:29,584
And today, the dunder Mifflin
infinity website officially launches.
62
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,463
Well, the website is the
brainchild of my brainchild, Ryan.
63
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,590
It is my brain-grandchild.
64
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,884
And to celebrate its birth,
65
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:41,054
all of the different branches
are going to have satellite parties,
66
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:44,891
which will be connected,
via webcams and fibers,
67
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:47,686
to the real party, which is
going on in New York City
68
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:50,731
at a very exclusive nightclub.
69
00:03:50,814 --> 00:03:54,359
That is where all of the vips,
70
00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:59,740
including yours truly, will be
partying with New York City's finest.
71
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,908
And I do not mean policemen.
72
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,453
The company is projecting
record high sales,
73
00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:08,582
and that by 6:00, the website will be
the new best salesman in the company.
74
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:09,916
Wow. Watch out, Dwight.
75
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,711
That's ridiculous. I'm not
gonna be beaten by a website.
76
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,021
Actually it sounds like you are.
77
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,922
Really? 'Cause Ryan says so?
78
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,592
That's from Ryan? Does it
mention if he's seeing anybody?
79
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,155
No, it doesn't.
I'll find out tonight.
80
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:21,720
Yes, please let us know.
81
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,889
I can make more
sales than a computer.
82
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:27,350
In fact, I challenge that website
to make more sales than me today.
83
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:28,852
Waste of time.
84
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,228
What's that, pipsqueak?
85
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:33,023
Waste of time. The
website's going to win.
86
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,733
You believe a computer
can beat me?
87
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:35,984
I don't care, butyes.
88
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:37,402
Well, I will prove you wrong.
89
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,321
I don't care, and
you won't. You'll see.
90
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,198
I won't be watching,
and I won't.
91
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,494
Dwight mercy-killed
Angela's cat.
92
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:47,496
It's very complicated.
93
00:04:48,663 --> 00:04:52,125
It's caused a lot of unpleasantness
between Dwight and Angela,
94
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,336
who were both already
prone to unpleasantness.
95
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:58,965
(Music playing)
96
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,553
Stanley, you're dancing.
97
00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:05,096
No, I'm not.
98
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,893
Yeah, I created a website.
99
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:13,980
Look, at the end of the day,
apple's apple is flying at 30,000 feet.
100
00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:16,066
This is a paper company,
101
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,152
and I don't want us to get lost in
the weeds or into a beauty contest.
102
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,631
Dean: I told you I don't want
you doing these things in here.
103
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,990
You can use your own office
or do it in the hall.
104
00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:27,244
Convergence, viral
marketing, we're going guerilla,
105
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,387
we're taking it the streets,
106
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,413
while keeping an eye
on the street, wall street.
107
00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:31,849
I don't want to reinvent
the wheel here.
108
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:34,501
In other words,
it is what it is.
109
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,170
Buying paper just became fun.
110
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:42,759
And this is where
I will record your sales.
111
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:44,886
Very nice, very nice.
112
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:48,849
And then I will say something
positive like, "kudos,"
113
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,600
or, "job well done."
114
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,769
Or, "zip-a-Dee-doo-dah!"
115
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,731
Icantteh if he's mocking me.
116
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:58,483
Just ignore him.
117
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:02,237
I can't do that. It's really
hard for me to let things go.
118
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,489
I was mocking.
119
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:06,032
Thank you.
120
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:10,495
I just feel like we need something
more to acknowledge when I make a sale.
121
00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:12,622
Yes! Like a chime or a bell.
122
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,124
Or a gong.
123
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:25,343
Go to my car, open the trunk,
inside you will see many pelts.
124
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:30,015
Under the smallest one is a case.
Inside that case is a bear horn.
125
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,266
Bring it to me.
126
00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:32,517
Yes!
127
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:41,860
Isn't 7:00 pm. A little
late for a lunch party?
128
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:46,406
Lunch party? It's supposed
to say "launch party."
129
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,658
What is wrong with you?
130
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:53,204
Angela is worse than usual
lately, and we have a party to throw,
131
00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:57,334
so I googled, "how to
deal with difficult people."
132
00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,586
And I got all of this.
133
00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:03,423
(Whispering) So we're gonna
try out some new things today.
134
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,968
So, how do you feel about the
fact that the banner says "lunch"?
135
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:12,182
I feel angry. Angry at you. Angry
at you for doing something stupid.
136
00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:15,810
Angry at me for believing you
could do something not stupid.
137
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,981
I'm so sorry to hear that.
That must be awful.
138
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,859
It is awful. You've
made this day awful.
139
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:26,363
Maybe you could just
change the u into an a.
140
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,115
Then it would say
"lanch party," Kevin.
141
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:31,199
Would it really be better
if it said "lanch party"?
142
00:07:31,242 --> 00:07:32,285
Lunch party.
143
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:33,870
It's supposed to say "launch."
144
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,580
Okay, wow, easy, booster seat.
145
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:37,707
Nobody cares about
this party anyway.
146
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,792
I care.
147
00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:41,461
"Plan a party, Angela. Oh,
and the entire world will see it.
148
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:43,672
"Oh, and here's $65
for your budget.
149
00:07:43,755 --> 00:07:46,508
"Oh, and here are four idiots who
will do nothing but weigh you down.
150
00:07:46,591 --> 00:07:48,093
"Oh, and your cat's still dead."
151
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:49,970
Twenty seconds to go-time.
152
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:51,680
Got it. Carb up.
153
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,641
Really? Power gel?
154
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:57,978
Hey, if you want to win,
you got to fuel like a winner.
155
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,064
Andy: Okay, we start.
156
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:04,234
As soon as I make this shot.
157
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,527
Hey! Go!
158
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:06,653
Yeah!
159
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:10,549
Hello, Susan. Dwight schrute.
160
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:13,702
What would you say if I told you
we could pull a prank on Dwight,
161
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,996
at the same time,
not be working?
162
00:08:17,539 --> 00:08:19,499
He's going through
a breakup. What?
163
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:22,877
Yeah. I'm aware of that, but
he's also being super-annoying,
164
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,063
and I'm not a perfect person.
165
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,088
(Horn blowing)
166
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,506
Yeah! Yeah!
167
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:27,716
Got one!
168
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:31,011
Three reams! In
your face, machines!
169
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,764
What kind of prank
are you thinking?
170
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,476
What if I told you
I could offer free shipping?
171
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:39,936
Sure, I'll hold.
172
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,813
(Messenger beeps)
173
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:01,207
Not sure.
Just became self-aware.
174
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,793
So much to figure out.
175
00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,921
I think I am programmed
to be your enemy.
176
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:11,968
I think it is my job to destroy you
when it comes to selling paper.
177
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,077
Dwight: It appears that
the website has become alive.
178
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,746
This happens to computers
and robots sometimes.
179
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,331
Am I scared of a
stupid computer?
180
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,250
Please, that computer
should be scared of me.
181
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:48,379
I have been salesman of the
month for 13 out of the last 12 months.
182
00:09:48,463 --> 00:09:51,508
You heard me right.
I did so well last February,
183
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:54,511
that corporate gave me two
plaques in lieu of a pay raise.
184
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,477
Michael: Okay.
185
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:04,729
Yes, it's too tight.
186
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:05,814
Way too tight.
187
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:06,898
Really?
188
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,233
This is why I'm here?
189
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:09,901
Why is it so tight?
190
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,361
It's a European cut.
191
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,154
It just looks bad.
192
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:18,576
Hey, what's hanging?
193
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:20,411
Setting up the webcam
for the party.
194
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,122
Good, okay, cool.
195
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,419
How many pounds do
you think I can lose by 7:00?
196
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,547
Depends. How much have
you eaten already today?
197
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,383
(Phone ringing)
I had one of those big...
198
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,593
Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam.
199
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:39,556
Just one second. We're in a
meeting. I'll see if he's available.
200
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:40,974
It's jan.
201
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,894
Why don't you want
to go tonight? What...
202
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,872
All your friends are going
to be there... my friends?
203
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,456
It'll be fun. Michael,
I was terminated.
204
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,649
Just_
205
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,001
Is it really that
important to you?
206
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,068
Yeah.
207
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,528
All right. Thank you.
208
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,113
Go by yourself.
209
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:56,531
No. No.
210
00:10:56,698 --> 00:11:00,326
No. If I go by myself, everybody
will think I'm a big loser.
211
00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,872
Well... do I have your
permission to invite Carole?
212
00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:05,039
What? Jeez, Michael!
213
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,291
I'm sorry.
214
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:10,128
I'm sorry. It's just the first
girl that popped into my head.
215
00:11:10,211 --> 00:11:11,772
I'll find somebody
that I haven't slept with.
216
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,006
(Horn blaring)
217
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:14,382
Nice.
218
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,342
Website check, please.
219
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,136
305.
220
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:22,307
305. You, my friend,
are winning handsomely.
221
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,143
It just made another sale. 380.
222
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:29,731
You, my friend, are
in a very close second.
223
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:30,857
402.
224
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,734
Okay, why don't you
just lay off, lady?
225
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:35,028
What do you want me to do?
Not announce it? 412.
226
00:11:39,574 --> 00:11:42,118
So, this is the dealio.
227
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,495
God has smiled upon me
228
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:48,082
and given me two tickets to
the big party in New York, tonight.
229
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,418
What are you doing this evening?
230
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,882
Look at that.
231
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,593
They have their own little
language now, like twins.
232
00:11:58,676 --> 00:11:59,719
Sure, we'll go.
233
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,682
All right. Well, fight it
out amongst yourseres.
234
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,389
I was thinking Pammy,
235
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,266
but boys' night out
is also good.
236
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,809
I'm sorry. What?
237
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,479
One of the tickets is for him.
238
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,856
Just let me know
who the winner is.
239
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,276
Not it. Not it. No!
240
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,402
Iwon.
241
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,446
Definitely not.
If anything it was a tie.
242
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,323
Tie goes to the girlfriend.
243
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:25,453
No, I realize you normally reorder in
November, but what I'm suggesting...
244
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:27,538
You did what?
245
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:31,167
No. That's exactly what you're
not supposed to do, damn it!
246
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,752
Why would you reorder
from a computer
247
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:35,630
when you could have the
personal touch of a salesman?
248
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,131
(Groaning)
249
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:38,841
How's it going? Fine. Good.
250
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,301
Yeah? Yeah.
251
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:41,761
You look a little worried.
252
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,763
I do not look worried.
253
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,308
(Messenger beeps)
254
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,404
"Here's a suggestion, computer.
255
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:02,824
"I assume you read binary, so
why don't you zero, one, one,
256
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:05,952
"one, one, one, zero,
one, one, zero, one, one?"
257
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:07,578
Okay.
258
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:11,874
While you were typing that, I
searched every database in existence
259
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:16,170
and learned every fact about
everything and mastered the violin.
260
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,301
And sold more paper.
261
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:34,772
I asked for assorted cutlery,
and I got back spoons.
262
00:13:34,856 --> 00:13:36,441
These are worthless.
263
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,318
I want to understand
what you're saying,
264
00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:41,321
but it's difficult for me
when you use that tone.
265
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:47,702
Phyllis, these are spoons.
266
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:52,290
Spoons have rounded tops
and are used to scoop things.
267
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,043
What we need are forks,
268
00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:58,921
which have prongs
or tiny Spears on top.
269
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,800
And we need knives,
which have blades.
270
00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:05,470
Do you understand me now?
271
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:07,555
Yes.
272
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:08,890
Goodie.
273
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,729
Hey, man. What's up, man?
274
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,647
What's going on? Paper delivery.
275
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:18,399
Oh, yeah?
Kelly ordered this online.
276
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:31,287
What are you doing?
277
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,223
I am in the fight of my
life against this computer,
278
00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,499
and every sale counts.
279
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:37,269
But you get to put the paper in this
little shopping cart and then it says,
280
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,754
"thanks for shopping
with dunder Mifflin."
281
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:43,674
Damn it, Kelly! It knows!
It knows what you did!
282
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:44,759
Who knows?
283
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:45,885
Return it! Return it now!
284
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,178
Hey.
285
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,407
How about instead of yelling
at our sweet little miss kapour
286
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:53,059
over 500 sheets of paper,
you get back to your desk
287
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,728
and start selling
multiple reams like a man.
288
00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:58,064
You don't understand.
289
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,775
Okay, if this makes
the difference,
290
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:03,986
I'm going to tell it
that you were responsible.
291
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,780
Who's "it"?
292
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:12,203
There you go.
293
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:13,579
Thanks.
294
00:15:13,663 --> 00:15:15,498
So, you still missing Ryan?
295
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,625
Not so much anymore.
296
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,340
Dwight: I am not a bad person.
297
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,884
When I left staples, I took
some of their leads with me,
298
00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:29,053
but I never intended
to use them.
299
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,888
What did I intend
to do with them?
300
00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:34,559
Who knows? Maybe
keep them as a souvenir,
301
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:35,810
maybe use them.
302
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:39,730
Yes, Mr. Galioto, how would
you like to pay 10% less for paper
303
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,691
than you're paying right now?
304
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,444
It's not important how
I got your information.
305
00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:48,573
What is important
is that you say yes. Good.
306
00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,159
All right, I'm ready to go,
and I'm calling shotgun.
307
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:52,243
I'm driving?
308
00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:53,744
Yes. Thank you.
309
00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,468
All right. Let me just
say goodbye to Pam.
310
00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:59,375
Oh, yeah. You better say goodbye
to Pam. Say goodbye to Pam.
311
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:03,588
Bye. I love you.
312
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:04,964
(Humming)
313
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,468
I love you. Okay.
314
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:11,387
(Singing) I'm leaving
inside Jim's car
315
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,723
I don't know
when I'll be back again
316
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:18,644
yes, I do, tomorrow I'll be back
317
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,271
I'll be back tomorrow.
318
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:24,484
Yeah, so you know what? Why don't you
guys take off a little bit early tonight?
319
00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,152
Because there's a party.
320
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:29,572
A party for the website I've
been planning for two weeks.
321
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:33,910
If you are not this tall, you
may not ride the rollercoaster.
322
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,036
See you guys tomorrow.
323
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:38,206
Perfect. So let me just get
some basic information from you.
324
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,166
(Messenger beeping)
325
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,885
Sorry. I'm so sorry. Yes.
Could you repeat that?
326
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:57,058
Yes! Ten reams for the
us. District court!
327
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:01,487
Did I happen to mention the 40 reams
for the battered women's shelter?
328
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,862
Stop it. Give me that. Give it.
329
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:11,656
Did you see the board?
330
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,658
There's still an hour.
331
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,578
You ever read this?
332
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:20,706
Yeah. A long time
ago, butlhkedit
333
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,166
I got it for Ryan.
334
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,418
I wanted to get him
oh, the places you'll go!
335
00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:25,545
But they were sold out.
336
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:28,506
I figured it's the same
sort of stuff in here.
337
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:31,133
It's not. It's different.
It's a good book.
338
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:34,470
What was that?
339
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,222
Leaving Pennsylvania.
340
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:37,682
(Exclaims)
341
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,308
Two kisses.
342
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,643
One for me. One for jan.
343
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:41,727
Gotcha.
344
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,372
You guys should come
over for dinner, you and Pam.
345
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,957
That would be fun.
Fhday? That would be fun.
346
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:46,857
Want to come over Friday? Can't.
347
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:48,484
After work, you...
348
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,194
Oh, no, 'cause...
349
00:17:53,114 --> 00:17:54,716
You're gonna let me know
when we're close, right?
350
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,659
Yes. Actually, I will
tell you right now.
351
00:17:56,742 --> 00:18:01,289
It's a club called chat room,
and there's a password to get in,
352
00:18:01,372 --> 00:18:03,624
which is actually
"password," so...
353
00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:04,792
Okay.
354
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:06,711
What are you doing?
355
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,921
That is an invitation
to an online party.
356
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,215
No. No. I'm sure that's not.
357
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:15,720
Are there three "w's" at
the beginning of the address?
358
00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,515
Yes. Yeah.
359
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:26,897
Well, the invitation says vips only.
Is this how you treat your vips, Ryan?
360
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:30,151
We're already in the city.
361
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:33,654
The main part, with the buildings.
What am I supposed to do?
362
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,923
What do you want me
to do tonight?
363
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,157
And if you tell me
364
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,243
that I have to drive back to
Scranton to the satellite party,
365
00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,037
I am going to throw up.
366
00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:44,040
Okay, I am going to throw up.
367
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,584
I'm throwing up. You're
making me throw up, Ryan.
368
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,895
You know what this is like?
I'll tell you what this is like.
369
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,088
This is like when the
freshmen would throw a party
370
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:53,549
and wouldn't let
any of the seniors go.
371
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:59,555
Doesn't it just piss you off sometimes that
little twerp got the promotion over us?
372
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,974
Actually, I withdrew
from consideration.
373
00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:03,893
Yeah. I withdrew too.
374
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:16,781
Four, three, two, one!
375
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,157
Yes!
376
00:19:18,699 --> 00:19:20,284
(Both whooping)
377
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:22,703
After numerous projections
that the computer
378
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,997
would crush all
salesmen in its path,
379
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:29,669
I am very happy to report that
our very own Dwight schrute
380
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:33,839
has crushed his electronic
Nemesis, if you will,
381
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:36,300
by a whopping 52 reams.
382
00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:37,593
Reams.
383
00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,446
Dwight: Wait, say it
again. Announce it again.
384
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:40,471
Fifty-two reams!
385
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:41,634
No, no. No, the first part.
386
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,350
Dwight has
defeated the computer.
387
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:49,438
Hey, so, what do you think?
388
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:52,233
I did it for you.
389
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,151
I didn't ask you
to do it for me.
390
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,070
You didn't have to.
391
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,407
How do you tell
someone it's over?
392
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:03,994
You send them a notarized letter, right?
Well, what if the recipient is your notary?
393
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:08,666
Hello, Pam.
394
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,501
Hello. Hey,
395
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,920
do you have any men
that you can fix me up with?
396
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:15,673
I would like to have
a relationship with a man.
397
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,009
Pam: I'll get back to you.
398
00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,553
Let me know.
399
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:28,644
(Messenger beeping)
400
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,987
All right, who wants to party?
401
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,150
Why aren't you in New York?
402
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,740
What?
403
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:42,783
I think I faked Oscar out.
404
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,148
You said you weren't coming
back and we could leave early.
405
00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,954
I think I faked
Stanley out, too.
406
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:49,957
Who else thought that I was leaving
and that you could all go home early?
407
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,668
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
408
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,837
Well, who needs New York?
409
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,465
Right? We can have a killer
party right here in Scranton.
410
00:20:57,548 --> 00:20:58,632
Thank you.
411
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,802
No, no, no. This is going to be nothing
like the party you've been planning.
412
00:21:01,886 --> 00:21:05,473
This is going to be good,
and everybody's gonna come.
413
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:08,309
What's wrong with Dwight?
414
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:09,435
He beat the computer.
415
00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:13,355
Hey, good for you. Good
for you! Scranton power.
416
00:21:14,482 --> 00:21:15,733
All right, you know what?
417
00:21:15,816 --> 00:21:17,961
Angela, I'd like you to come
into my office in 10 minutes.
418
00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:20,362
Bring something to write
with and something to write on.
419
00:21:20,446 --> 00:21:21,530
Good!
420
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:27,286
It was a pretty
disappointing day.
421
00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:31,707
It was kind of a slap
in the face to realize that
422
00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:35,211
I wasn't as important
as I thought I was
423
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:38,380
to a certain young executive
who I'd cared about.
424
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,967
But, you know,
I'm not gonna cry over it.
425
00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:44,428
I did that in the car
on the way home.
426
00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:45,805
How are we doing on time?
427
00:21:45,888 --> 00:21:47,139
The party starts in an hour.
428
00:21:47,223 --> 00:21:50,559
Good. These are some things
that I would like to have happen.
429
00:21:52,353 --> 00:21:54,772
"Beer, light beer,
streamers, orchids,
430
00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,649
"befierthfing,
something made of ice"?
431
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,502
Those are just things.
This is how I want it to feel.
432
00:21:58,526 --> 00:22:01,987
"Pizza, pizza with mushrooms, pizza
without mushrooms, white pizza, steak"?
433
00:22:02,071 --> 00:22:05,407
I would like this
party to be sexier,
434
00:22:05,491 --> 00:22:07,159
cooler, more important...
435
00:22:07,243 --> 00:22:08,994
"Chocolates, someone famous"?
436
00:22:09,078 --> 00:22:10,162
Yes. "Cool music,
437
00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:12,122
"confetti, go-go dancers"?
438
00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:15,000
I want it to embarrass
all other parties.
439
00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:18,337
I want it to be a party
that the guys in New York
440
00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:22,967
watch on the webcam and say, "wow,
how did they get ai roker to come?"
441
00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:24,927
I can't do this. Yes, you can.
442
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:26,011
I can't do it.
443
00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:27,805
Yes, you can. I know you can.
444
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,307
I wouldn't say that if
I didn't 100% believe it.
445
00:22:30,391 --> 00:22:32,059
Who else could do this?
446
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,353
Okay. Okay.
447
00:22:34,436 --> 00:22:36,456
No, seriously, is there anyone
else who could do it better?
448
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,691
Because we don't
have a lot of time.
449
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,111
I'll get the pizza!
450
00:22:50,327 --> 00:22:52,162
What do you think of Angela?
451
00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:55,499
I think she's efficient.
452
00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:58,085
No, not like that. As a woman.
453
00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:01,755
W-o-m-a-n.
454
00:23:01,839 --> 00:23:03,757
I hadn't noticed.
455
00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:05,926
You hadn't noticed
she's a woman?
456
00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:10,180
I hear she's single
and ready to mingle.
457
00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:12,892
I'm thinking about
making a play for her.
458
00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:15,060
What do you think? Crazy, right?
459
00:23:15,561 --> 00:23:18,731
I think it's inappropriate to
date someone you work with.
460
00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:20,190
Isn't that part of the fun?
461
00:23:20,274 --> 00:23:22,526
No. I think you
should date Kelly.
462
00:23:23,569 --> 00:23:26,238
She works here, too.
How is that any different?
463
00:23:26,697 --> 00:23:28,490
She works in the annex.
464
00:23:29,450 --> 00:23:31,577
You're also welcome
to date Toby.
465
00:23:33,829 --> 00:23:34,914
Okay.
466
00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:37,917
Good news! We get to go home?
467
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:42,463
Guess who just ordered from
your favorite pizza place, Alfredo.
468
00:23:43,047 --> 00:23:44,131
Kevin: Wait.
469
00:23:44,882 --> 00:23:48,761
Alfredo's pizza cafe?
Or pizza by Alfredo?
470
00:23:49,303 --> 00:23:50,346
Same thing.
471
00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:51,722
No. No, it's not.
472
00:23:51,805 --> 00:23:53,199
All right. You know
what? I don't understand
473
00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:54,492
when you all talk
at the same time.
474
00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:56,852
Oscar, talk to him.
475
00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:59,855
Michael, there's a very big difference
between these two pizza places,
476
00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:04,234
both in quality of ingredients
and in overall taste.
477
00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:06,236
Which one did you order from?
478
00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:09,657
(All scoffing) Pizza by Alfredo.
479
00:24:09,740 --> 00:24:12,493
All right, you know what?
Okay, okay, what is better?
480
00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:17,665
A medium amount of good pizza or
all you can eat of pretty good pizza?
481
00:24:17,748 --> 00:24:20,167
Medium amount of good pizza.
Medium amount of good pizza.
482
00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:26,173
Oh, no, it's bad. It's real bad.
483
00:24:27,049 --> 00:24:29,885
It's like eating
a hot circle of garbage.
484
00:24:33,055 --> 00:24:35,599
You can pick
one of these things.
485
00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:38,727
It's unreasonable for you
to ask me to do all of this.
486
00:24:39,395 --> 00:24:43,148
It should take you no time at all if you
put the care into it that you normally do.
487
00:24:48,028 --> 00:24:49,738
That seemed to shut her up.
488
00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:54,302
You looking for
dinner and a movie?
489
00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:57,079
'Cause you're not gonna
find it in that box.
490
00:24:59,248 --> 00:25:02,710
It just so happens, I know
where you can find it, but again,
491
00:25:04,378 --> 00:25:06,380
not in the box.
492
00:25:09,591 --> 00:25:11,969
Angela, are you hearing
words that I'm saying?
493
00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:13,178
What?
494
00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:14,471
Hello.
495
00:25:15,305 --> 00:25:17,033
I have been working
on a party for three weeks
496
00:25:17,057 --> 00:25:18,475
that just got thrown
out the window,
497
00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:20,728
so now I have to pull
together a whole new party,
498
00:25:20,811 --> 00:25:22,563
and my useless number two quit.
499
00:25:22,646 --> 00:25:24,326
So now there's no one
in charge of orchids,
500
00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:26,316
chocolates or the thing
that's made of ice.
501
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,253
And my upper back itches,
and it's itched all day,
502
00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:31,739
and I can't reach it. And Kevin
had Greek food for lunch again!
503
00:25:35,451 --> 00:25:38,537
They say you should never mix
business with pleasure.
504
00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:39,663
Really?
505
00:25:39,747 --> 00:25:43,542
Well, then explain to me how a
putt-putt golf company operates.
506
00:25:44,877 --> 00:25:46,420
(Phone ringing)
507
00:25:48,589 --> 00:25:49,631
Yeah?
508
00:25:49,715 --> 00:25:51,341
Pam: The pizza by Alfredo
guy is here.
509
00:25:51,425 --> 00:25:52,694
You don't have
to say it like that.
510
00:25:52,718 --> 00:25:53,969
I said it normal.
511
00:25:58,515 --> 00:25:59,892
Hey. Hey.
512
00:25:59,975 --> 00:26:02,478
$63.50, and that's
not including tip.
513
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:04,021
Right. I have a coupon,
514
00:26:04,104 --> 00:26:07,816
so half of $63.50 and
half the tip on $63.50...
515
00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:10,819
Half-off coupons only
apply to orders of two pizzas.
516
00:26:10,903 --> 00:26:13,614
Yeah, no, I told them on the
phone I was ordering eight pizzas.
517
00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:15,175
I don't care what you
told them on the phone.
518
00:26:15,199 --> 00:26:16,909
That's our policy.
519
00:26:16,992 --> 00:26:19,828
You didn't actually think that I was
going to spend 60 bucks on pizza?
520
00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:21,163
Kevin: It's not pizza. Okay.
521
00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:25,626
It doesn't say it anywhere on
the coupon, and if it's your policy,
522
00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:27,711
it should say it on the coupon.
523
00:26:28,212 --> 00:26:29,755
What do you mean?
524
00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:30,839
Not my problem.
525
00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:32,382
It is your problem.
526
00:26:33,217 --> 00:26:37,971
That's no way to do
business, okay? I ordered
527
00:26:38,055 --> 00:26:39,473
eight pizzas with
a half-off coupon,
528
00:26:39,556 --> 00:26:42,893
so I would like eight pizzas
for half-off. End of story.
529
00:26:42,976 --> 00:26:46,688
It's a great story. It's $63.50,
and that's not including tip.
530
00:26:46,772 --> 00:26:48,273
I'm not giving that to you.
531
00:26:48,357 --> 00:26:50,359
Well, then you're not
getting your pizzas.
532
00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:52,402
No. No! You're not... no!
533
00:26:52,486 --> 00:26:56,031
You are not going anywhere!
You're going to stay here
534
00:26:56,115 --> 00:26:58,367
until we figure this out! What?
535
00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:03,580
You know what? This young man needs to
learn that that's not how you treat people!
536
00:27:04,665 --> 00:27:05,999
I don't care if it's pizza!
537
00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:10,462
Good business is about respect
and accountability and follow-through.
538
00:27:10,546 --> 00:27:12,297
You don't just make promises
539
00:27:12,381 --> 00:27:15,300
and pull the rug out from
under somebody, do you?
540
00:27:15,384 --> 00:27:18,220
Dwight, please escort this young
man into the conference room.
541
00:27:18,303 --> 00:27:19,531
Right now. Get into
the conference room.
542
00:27:19,555 --> 00:27:21,199
I'm not going in there.
Yeah, you are. Yeah, you are.
543
00:27:21,223 --> 00:27:24,035
And you will come out when you
decide to give me a discount on the pizza.
544
00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:25,477
Please. Thank you.
545
00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:27,187
This is stupid.
546
00:27:27,271 --> 00:27:30,023
No, you don't even
know what stupid is.
547
00:27:31,024 --> 00:27:33,944
It's about to get
all stupid up in here!
548
00:27:47,374 --> 00:27:49,209
You find anything?
549
00:27:49,293 --> 00:27:51,795
We think it's a
straightforward kidnapping.
550
00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:54,131
Stanley, could you
look up accomplices?
551
00:27:54,214 --> 00:27:55,591
Why can't you guys do it?
552
00:27:55,674 --> 00:27:57,843
Because we're
looking up jail time.
553
00:27:58,177 --> 00:27:59,720
Fine.
554
00:27:59,803 --> 00:28:00,929
I've seen this kid before.
555
00:28:01,013 --> 00:28:03,573
He's one of the kids that sneaks
onto my farm and steals my hemp.
556
00:28:03,724 --> 00:28:07,269
Yeah, I know that guy. He's that
farmer that grows really crappy weed.
557
00:28:15,194 --> 00:28:17,154
You ready to give me
my discount now?
558
00:28:18,906 --> 00:28:20,842
Okay, what have you been
doing in here this whole time?
559
00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:22,117
What kind of business is this?
560
00:28:22,201 --> 00:28:23,327
We're a paper company.
561
00:28:23,410 --> 00:28:25,138
The best paper company
in the whole wide world, okay?
562
00:28:25,162 --> 00:28:27,206
All right, Dwight, knock it off.
563
00:28:28,415 --> 00:28:30,476
You'd better think about what
you are doing, young man.
564
00:28:30,500 --> 00:28:32,061
You better think about
what you're doing.
565
00:28:32,085 --> 00:28:36,590
No! I'm an adult. I don't
have to think or do anything.
566
00:28:36,673 --> 00:28:40,010
You're a kid. You're a
little, snot-nosed punk kid
567
00:28:40,093 --> 00:28:42,262
who thinks he's better
than everybody else,
568
00:28:42,346 --> 00:28:43,764
because he's some hotshot.
569
00:28:43,847 --> 00:28:46,225
And you don't know
anything about sales!
570
00:28:46,308 --> 00:28:48,310
So stop being a
disrespectful iittlejerk, okay?
571
00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:49,478
Sales?
572
00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:52,123
Yes, sales. You sell pizza. Last
time I checked, that's called sales.
573
00:28:52,147 --> 00:28:53,148
You're such a loser.
574
00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:54,292
What did you just call him?
575
00:28:54,316 --> 00:28:55,984
A loser. What did you say?
576
00:28:56,068 --> 00:28:57,236
A loser. What?
577
00:28:57,319 --> 00:28:58,612
A loser. What was that word?
578
00:28:58,695 --> 00:29:00,572
Stop getting him to say it!
579
00:29:01,031 --> 00:29:02,908
You just made this worse,
a whole lot worse.
580
00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:04,243
I can make him talk, Michael.
581
00:29:04,326 --> 00:29:05,386
Dwight: Michael! Pam: Michael!
582
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:06,930
We are accomplices.
I'm not going to jail for this.
583
00:29:06,954 --> 00:29:08,538
Michael:
Stop talking all at once!
584
00:29:08,622 --> 00:29:09,748
You need to let him go.
585
00:29:09,831 --> 00:29:13,168
Let go of little jerk-boy before
he has learned his lesson?
586
00:29:13,252 --> 00:29:14,836
Yes. You know what, Jim?
587
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:18,799
The world would be a better place if people
were held accountable for their actions.
588
00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:20,634
Yes, but not by kidnapping them.
589
00:29:20,717 --> 00:29:22,094
I'm not kidnapping him.
590
00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:24,471
I'm keeping him
until I get what I want.
591
00:29:24,554 --> 00:29:25,639
As a hostage.
592
00:29:25,722 --> 00:29:26,783
I think you're over-thinking it.
593
00:29:26,807 --> 00:29:27,867
I think you're
under-thinking it.
594
00:29:27,891 --> 00:29:29,559
Yes. Is Alfredo there?
595
00:29:31,019 --> 00:29:32,938
May I speak to a manager, then?
596
00:29:33,647 --> 00:29:37,734
Okay, could you tell the manager
that I am keeping his delivery kid
597
00:29:37,818 --> 00:29:40,570
until I get my discount on
the eight pizzas I ordered?
598
00:29:41,238 --> 00:29:43,448
Yes, I know it is
not on the coupon.
599
00:29:44,408 --> 00:29:50,372
Also, I would like him to
throw in two, three pizzas,
600
00:29:51,373 --> 00:29:52,833
just for our... ransom.
601
00:29:52,916 --> 00:29:54,001
Trouble.
602
00:29:55,752 --> 00:29:57,671
Okay. All right.
603
00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:00,465
What did he say?
604
00:30:00,549 --> 00:30:01,591
He said no.
605
00:30:01,675 --> 00:30:02,843
So we should let him go.
606
00:30:02,926 --> 00:30:04,261
No. No.
607
00:30:04,344 --> 00:30:05,470
Okay.
608
00:30:05,554 --> 00:30:07,889
Listen up, kid,
609
00:30:08,598 --> 00:30:09,933
I don't like you,
610
00:30:10,017 --> 00:30:14,146
but because some town in
Switzerland says so, you have rights.
611
00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:16,565
(Knocking at door)
612
00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:20,777
I have to hang these.
613
00:30:28,744 --> 00:30:30,412
Why are you looking
at her like that?
614
00:30:42,632 --> 00:30:43,884
What's going on?
615
00:30:43,967 --> 00:30:46,070
Michael just called the pizza
place with a list of demands.
616
00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:47,721
Mr. Overdramatic.
What's up, Kevin?
617
00:30:47,804 --> 00:30:49,806
We're getting hungry out there.
618
00:30:50,891 --> 00:30:55,729
We're all accomplices now anyway,
so we figured we might as well eat.
619
00:30:55,812 --> 00:31:00,776
We would like to order some
good pizza from Alfredo's pizza cafe
620
00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:05,405
while we wait for the hostage
situation with the bad pizza to end.
621
00:31:08,575 --> 00:31:11,995
I needed another hour. It could
have been done in another hour.
622
00:31:12,079 --> 00:31:13,789
I think it looks good.
623
00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:15,832
That's why you're not
in charge, Meredith.
624
00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:24,049
Here you are, my dear.
One thing made of ice.
625
00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:28,303
How did you...
626
00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:31,014
Where'd you...
627
00:31:31,098 --> 00:31:33,850
It's just ice. It'll melt
all over the floor.
628
00:31:33,934 --> 00:31:35,244
Will you help me
put it over there?
629
00:31:35,268 --> 00:31:36,812
Okay. Yes, iwill.
630
00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:38,063
Excuse me.
631
00:31:39,231 --> 00:31:40,315
(Whispering) I stole it.
632
00:31:44,611 --> 00:31:45,987
Thank god.
633
00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:49,991
Michael? Ryan wants to introduce
the branch managers in a few minutes.
634
00:31:50,075 --> 00:31:52,119
You just have to wave
and introduce yourself.
635
00:31:52,202 --> 00:31:54,496
I'll just wave and
introduce myself.
636
00:31:54,579 --> 00:31:55,914
Hey, quick question.
637
00:31:55,997 --> 00:31:56,998
Yeah?
638
00:31:57,082 --> 00:31:59,000
If I take a pizza,
639
00:31:59,084 --> 00:32:02,838
do you think you could take some
sodas and some napkins up to the roof?
640
00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:04,840
Good. I'm all over it.
641
00:32:05,715 --> 00:32:07,467
What do we got here?
642
00:32:07,551 --> 00:32:09,136
Good pizza. Yeah?
643
00:32:09,219 --> 00:32:11,221
Cheese? Or do we
have other flavors?
644
00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:12,389
Different stuff.
645
00:32:12,472 --> 00:32:14,266
Which one is this? Perfect.
646
00:32:17,018 --> 00:32:19,771
Do you remember what you
said to me on my first day at work,
647
00:32:19,855 --> 00:32:21,416
just before you walked
me over to my desk?
648
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:22,649
Yeah.
649
00:32:23,692 --> 00:32:26,862
"Enjoy this moment, because you're
never going to go back to this time
650
00:32:26,945 --> 00:32:29,364
"before you met
your desk-mate, Dwight."
651
00:32:29,739 --> 00:32:33,034
And that's why I knew. You?
652
00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:35,579
You came up to
my desk and you said,
653
00:32:35,662 --> 00:32:40,542
"this might sound weird, and
there's no reason for me to know this,
654
00:32:40,625 --> 00:32:43,670
"but that mixed-Berry yogurt
you're about to eat has expired."
655
00:32:43,753 --> 00:32:45,922
That was the moment
that you knew you liked me?
656
00:32:46,006 --> 00:32:47,090
Yup.
657
00:32:47,174 --> 00:32:48,425
Wow.
658
00:32:50,469 --> 00:32:51,779
Can we make it
a different moment?
659
00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:52,929
Nope.
660
00:32:54,848 --> 00:32:56,349
Can I start talking?
661
00:32:57,517 --> 00:33:01,396
Is this thing on? Give me a
signal when you want me to start.
662
00:33:03,607 --> 00:33:08,278
And now from my old hometown,
Scranton, Pennsylvania, my former boss,
663
00:33:08,361 --> 00:33:09,988
Michael Scott.
664
00:33:10,572 --> 00:33:11,990
Hey, I just think
you should know
665
00:33:12,073 --> 00:33:15,035
that one of my salesmen
beat your stupid computer.
666
00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:16,745
So take that, (bleep).
667
00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:20,832
Always a jokester.
668
00:33:23,418 --> 00:33:25,587
How about that image?
Crystal clear.
669
00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:30,926
If anyone out there is listening, I
am being held here against my will.
670
00:33:31,009 --> 00:33:32,219
I'm a minor.
671
00:33:37,307 --> 00:33:38,475
What are you doing?
672
00:33:38,558 --> 00:33:40,477
You said your upper back itched.
673
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,103
I didn't ask you to scratch it.
674
00:33:42,187 --> 00:33:44,540
Look, Angela, I know this is
weird because we work together,
675
00:33:44,564 --> 00:33:49,194
and because up until and possibly
including now I've repulsed you,
676
00:33:49,277 --> 00:33:50,612
but I like you.
677
00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:52,405
I'm not dating you.
678
00:33:54,741 --> 00:33:57,619
So Angela is stubborn as a mule.
679
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:03,250
She's giving off fairly strong
vibes that she's not interested.
680
00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:09,089
But do I like her or not?
681
00:34:10,298 --> 00:34:14,553
Because if I like her,
then I can't back down.
682
00:34:16,555 --> 00:34:19,766
If you're going number one,
you've got 10 more seconds.
683
00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:23,853
Hey, have you seen Jim?
684
00:34:23,937 --> 00:34:27,357
I guess he wanted to get out
of here before the cops find out.
685
00:34:29,484 --> 00:34:30,485
(Yelling)
686
00:34:30,569 --> 00:34:33,655
Hey, what are you doing?
I'm just scaring him.
687
00:34:33,738 --> 00:34:36,384
Now the trick is to make him think
you're going to do something to him.
688
00:34:36,408 --> 00:34:37,576
I can hear you, man. Shut up,
689
00:34:37,659 --> 00:34:39,011
or I'm going to
punch you in the throat!
690
00:34:39,035 --> 00:34:40,579
Hey, hey, hey, stop it. Stop it.
691
00:34:40,662 --> 00:34:42,956
No. God. Oh, my god.
692
00:34:44,249 --> 00:34:47,877
Oh, my god. Oh, no. No.
693
00:34:49,379 --> 00:34:51,464
I kidnapped a kid. You had to.
694
00:34:51,548 --> 00:34:53,300
What other choice did you have?
695
00:34:53,383 --> 00:34:55,510
I could have paid for the pizza.
696
00:34:55,594 --> 00:34:58,054
Vveh, yeah.
697
00:35:00,307 --> 00:35:03,852
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
698
00:35:05,395 --> 00:35:06,521
(Ringing)
699
00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:07,606
This is Michael.
700
00:35:07,689 --> 00:35:08,833
Hello, Michael. This is Ryan.
701
00:35:08,857 --> 00:35:10,400
First off, thanks
for the shout out.
702
00:35:10,483 --> 00:35:12,110
You're breaking up.
I can't hear you.
703
00:35:12,193 --> 00:35:14,279
And why is there
a kid on your webcam
704
00:35:14,362 --> 00:35:16,615
saying that he's
being held against his...
705
00:35:17,449 --> 00:35:18,825
Okay.
706
00:35:18,908 --> 00:35:22,162
I want you to go in there
707
00:35:22,245 --> 00:35:26,249
and pay him for the pizzas
and give him a generous tip,
708
00:35:27,417 --> 00:35:28,585
no more than 10%.
709
00:35:28,668 --> 00:35:29,794
What will you do?
710
00:35:29,919 --> 00:35:32,589
I will open the door.
711
00:35:33,381 --> 00:35:34,549
Yeah.
712
00:35:34,633 --> 00:35:36,718
And hopefully he will walk out.
713
00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:41,348
And the rest
is out of our hands.
714
00:35:42,724 --> 00:35:45,393
So I'm paying full price?
715
00:35:45,477 --> 00:35:46,561
Yes.
716
00:35:47,604 --> 00:35:50,982
Here we go, 65. You know what?
717
00:35:52,108 --> 00:35:53,485
Here's two more.
718
00:35:58,490 --> 00:36:00,408
See you. Drive safely.
719
00:36:02,952 --> 00:36:04,454
Okay.
720
00:36:05,205 --> 00:36:06,581
Now what?
721
00:36:06,665 --> 00:36:09,417
Now we wait and hope
that nothing happens.
722
00:36:10,627 --> 00:36:13,296
All right. I assume I'm going
to be reimbursed for the pizzas?
723
00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:15,590
Not now, Dwight.
Please, not the time.
724
00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:20,136
A toast.
725
00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:21,971
I'm gonna make it good.
726
00:36:23,223 --> 00:36:25,308
To avoiding a
class-two felony charge.
727
00:36:30,730 --> 00:36:32,065
(Ringing)
728
00:36:32,649 --> 00:36:35,235
Hello? Hey. Hang on a second.
729
00:36:39,823 --> 00:36:41,116
(Ringing)
730
00:36:41,908 --> 00:36:44,411
Hello. Hang on.
731
00:36:55,130 --> 00:36:58,091
(Singing)
If you change your mind
732
00:36:58,174 --> 00:36:59,634
(friends singing on phone)
733
00:36:59,718 --> 00:37:01,469
I'll be first in line
734
00:37:01,553 --> 00:37:06,141
honey, I'm still free
take a chance on me
735
00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:08,476
if you need me, let me know
736
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,228
going to be around
737
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:13,022
if you got no place to go
738
00:37:13,106 --> 00:37:17,569
if you're feeling down,
if you're all alone
739
00:37:17,652 --> 00:37:19,988
when the pretty birds have flown
740
00:37:20,071 --> 00:37:24,743
honey, I'm still free
take a chance on me
741
00:37:24,826 --> 00:37:29,247
going to do my very best
and that ain't no lie
742
00:37:29,330 --> 00:37:33,793
if you put me to the test,
if you let me try
743
00:37:33,877 --> 00:37:38,047
take a chance on me
744
00:37:38,131 --> 00:37:40,133
that's all I ask of you, Angela.
745
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:46,389
Take a chance, take a chance
746
00:38:07,494 --> 00:38:09,472
Man 1: Hey, how'd it go?
Man 2: Yeah. What did she say?
747
00:38:09,496 --> 00:38:11,122
I don't know yet.
748
00:38:11,206 --> 00:38:12,207
I have to call you back.
749
00:38:12,290 --> 00:38:13,350
Man 1: Come on,
you gotta give us something.
750
00:38:13,374 --> 00:38:14,793
I'll call you back.
751
00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:18,963
I have to go clean up
after the party.
752
00:38:37,023 --> 00:38:39,025
What a horrible day.
753
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,653
(Both groaning)
754
00:38:43,655 --> 00:38:47,617
Well, I need to get the horrible
taste of this pizza out of my mouth.
755
00:38:49,035 --> 00:38:50,829
I'd really like some Sushi.
756
00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:54,457
I was hoping that I would have
New York-ster Sushi today,
757
00:38:54,541 --> 00:38:56,626
and you know what?
758
00:38:56,709 --> 00:38:58,461
What? I'm gonna get it.
759
00:38:59,045 --> 00:39:01,089
Coopers has calamari.
760
00:39:01,172 --> 00:39:04,509
No. There's only one place to
get authentic New York-style Sushi.
761
00:39:04,592 --> 00:39:06,052
Tokyo? New York.
762
00:39:06,761 --> 00:39:08,638
Wanna go? Yes.
763
00:39:08,721 --> 00:39:09,722
All right. You drive.
764
00:39:09,806 --> 00:39:11,015
Okay.
765
00:39:11,099 --> 00:39:12,141
Dwight: Nice.
766
00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:13,601
Michael: Here we go.
767
00:39:13,685 --> 00:39:15,144
Mmm.
768
00:39:15,228 --> 00:39:17,146
Perfect. I'm sorry.
769
00:39:17,230 --> 00:39:19,148
You guys are going
to have to leave.
770
00:39:19,232 --> 00:39:21,276
Hey. You know what?
771
00:39:25,113 --> 00:39:26,406
Come on, come on, let's go.
772
00:39:34,873 --> 00:39:37,709
Hey, you're the Scranton guy?
773
00:39:37,792 --> 00:39:38,793
Guilty.
774
00:39:38,877 --> 00:39:41,129
I liked your statement tonight.
775
00:39:41,462 --> 00:39:42,881
Thanks.
776
00:39:43,590 --> 00:39:46,175
This is the guy that
beat the computer.
777
00:39:46,259 --> 00:39:49,512
Very cool. Yeah, it was funny to
see Ryan all embarrassed by that.
778
00:39:49,596 --> 00:39:51,514
Yeah. Yeah.
779
00:39:51,598 --> 00:39:52,891
See you later.
780
00:39:53,892 --> 00:39:54,976
Later on.
781
00:39:56,686 --> 00:40:01,941
(Imitating Ryan) I'm Ryan and tonight
didn't go the way that I thought it would,
782
00:40:02,025 --> 00:40:06,654
because it didn't work out for
me, and I'm very embarrassed.
783
00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:08,573
I have egg all over my face.
784
00:40:08,865 --> 00:40:10,116
I'm 12 years old.
785
00:40:10,199 --> 00:40:12,869
I spent so much time in Scranton,
but I never sold any paper.
786
00:40:12,952 --> 00:40:15,914
I never sold any paper
because I'm an idiot.
787
00:40:15,997 --> 00:40:18,666
I started a fire
with my cheese pita.
788
00:40:18,750 --> 00:40:20,752
I dated an Indian girl.
789
00:40:20,835 --> 00:40:22,587
I started a fire.
790
00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:23,671
I started a fire.
791
00:40:23,755 --> 00:40:24,839
Now I've got a beard.
792
00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:26,442
And I got a new suit,
and I'm your boss.
793
00:40:26,466 --> 00:40:28,106
I get everything
I want 'cause I'm very...
794
00:40:28,134 --> 00:40:29,802
I'm hot. I'm so hot.
795
00:40:29,886 --> 00:40:31,095
That's why everybody...
796
00:40:31,179 --> 00:40:32,430
Ldidn't get...
797
00:40:32,513 --> 00:40:33,973
I don't understand that.
798
00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:36,225
That's part of it, just a...
799
00:40:37,268 --> 00:40:38,728
(Sighing)
800
00:40:52,909 --> 00:40:54,160
Wanna head back?
801
00:40:55,536 --> 00:40:57,330
Yeah, let's go.
802
00:41:14,013 --> 00:41:15,974
(Dance music playing)
56574
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof