All language subtitles for Innocence.2022.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.x264

When I was a child in kindergarten
in grade school in Israel,

every Purim, we used to make
a special package of goodies

with a letter to the soldiers
who were protecting us.

I remember how once the teacher said

that one day I would become
a soldier too.

Like every boy, I would have
to serve for three years

and the girls would serve for two.

I don't remember when I realized
that it's not a choice.

That I will not even determine whether
I will serve as a combat soldier or not.

"Dear soldier,
thank you for protecting us"

For many years, I have been collecting
writings and paintings

by soldiers who died in service.

I decided to tell their stories to young
people who are set on the same track

to become soldiers.

These words that I'm writing,

I hope they don't reach anyone.

Words that won't reach a world

that would only persecute them.

Tomorrow I'll learn to kill

legally.

I wrapped myself in a mask of blindness,

so sealed off, so immaculate,

because who am I
to endure this?

Take a deep breath.

Did you wonder, Mom,
when I was born,

if the world would be good to me?

Like in that poem?

Would people let me be
what I want to be?

Were you also afraid, Mom,
like other moms,

wondering if I'd be healthy and normal

and what I'd do in the army
when the time came?

And now you know.

What kind of world are you
preparing us for?

What kind of rules
do you want to adapt us to?

Don't try to understand, Ron.

Don't try to see.

Ron, you'll get tired.

You'll wear out, Ron.

You'll disappear.

With each day that passes,

I only think about the days
that won't come back.

I only want to go back to those days.

Kids, who remembers
how we created this color?

What color is it?

Of olive leaves.

The color of olive leaves, right.
Like what else?

-Like the military.
-Like the military and the uniform.

You can paint the symbol
of the military.

You can paint soldiers or tanks.

Whatever you can imagine.

Hagit, I can paint soldiers at war.

Everyone can paint whatever they want.

-Hagit, I'll paint soldiers at war.
-Wow, great idea.

Who knows a soldier?

My dad is a soldier.

He took me to the army base
many times

and lifted me up on the tanks.

Hagit, do you know
that my great-grandfather

died during the war?

-Really? -And the bad guys
killed our father's baby.

Who are the bad guys?

-The bad guys.
-Who are they?

The bad guys with the guns.

It's a girl. It's my mom in the army.

She had long hair
when she was in the army.

Then she was 18 years old, right?

Everyone in Israel enlists in the army
when they turn eighteen.

Look. A group of soldiers.
Can you recognize one of them?

-Nathalie?
-Yes.

Zohar, don't you want to paint?
-No.

-You absolutely don't want to?
-No.

No?

Zohar, you can hold my bell, sweetie.

You've always believed, Ron,
that life would yield to you,

that you'd never have to compromise,

that the world would open up to you
with a smile and say:

Come now, child, make us change.

If only by the power of your love.

Now it's time for Kindergarten Party.

I'm honored to welcome our guests.

Come, sit next to me.

And another boy, Adam,

whose role in our show
I'll soon explain.

Adam, you make sculptures, right?

-Yes
-Sculptures and ceramics.

No. Modeling clay.

Modeling clay.

What kind of things do you sculpt?

Predators, non-predators,

different animals.

Tell me something about yourself.

How old are you?

Sixteen.

Sixteen, you said?

You're sixteen?

Do you know what you're going to sculpt?

-Yes.
-What?

A parrot.

Tell me something
about your love for animals.

First, I saw different animals
and I liked them.

Then I started feeling sorry for them,

that we, humans, hunt them.

So I became a vegetarian.

Give me a good handshake.

You're very strong for your age.

Some kids say I'm weak.

They know nothing about strength.

I'd say you're incredibly strong.

Adam.

Now you'll see a magic trick.

I'm floating!

I'm floating!

Are you floating, Adam?

What is the thing you want the most?

I think about my future,
I want to fulfill my dreams.

I'd travel the world, go to Africa,
live there for a while, Australia too.

Traveling in Africa
and giving up creature comforts is hard.

I'll live with the tribes.
They don't have miserable lives.

I just think they're better
at respecting their surroundings.

Humans have an urge for destruction.

Ron: You have to take care of yourself.

This filthy reality

eventually corrupts all the children..

But don't be afraid.

The most beautiful spiritual births

are born out of pain.

Just keep on writing

You're the most beautiful
thing in the world.

It doesn't matter what you are
in the eyes of others.

Guy.

I can see your.

I can see things up close.

We're far from the sun, right?

I see the sun really, really..

Guy, is the sun really far from us?

-Yes.
-I can examine it up close.

Sun vision.

Trash Mountain.

The binoculars can't capture what it is.

It might be our friends' new post.

Which friends?

Our friends across the border,
who we can't visit.

Who? Who are they?

People who live in Dir el Balah (Gaza).

Guy, you know what?

Be careful not to touch
the fence by mistake.

Do you know what would happen?

What would happen is this.

The soldiers will come
and there's a camera.

Look. Strangers from over there

could climb up, up, up

and then they need to pass over
this barbed thing, right?

Yes.

They're very spiky.
That's why they're there.

Very pointy.

Okay, this is gonna be hard.

Don't touch it, Zohar.

I just touched this metal.

You're touching it and it's activated.

Remember what we said?

There are detectors.

If someone touches it,

the commander sees it

and then the whole army will come
to see who touched the fence.

It's still touching the fence, Mom.

It's touching the fence,
but it's okay like that.

We don't touch the fence
or things on it.

-Okay?
-Okay.

Okay.

Move away! A military vehicle!

Don't touch the fence.
The army is passing by.

Ron: Mom and Dad, are you getting
anything that I write?

The pressure here
in the paratroopers is terrible.

The pain and hardships pile up
throughout the day,

but I wanted you to know

that despite the fight we had
about the army

I do intend to give everything I've got
here as a combatant.

Because I understood that sometimes
you have to be strong.

Missing you, Ron.

At least once a day,
a plane passes by here.

It's Air Force training.

One time I thought it was a spaceship

because the hearing aid
enhances the hearing.

We lit six memorial candles

to commemorate the six million Jews
murdered during the Holocaust.

All the Jews in Europe
were sent on trains.

They were all gathered together
and then sent to Poland.

They put them in two lines,

one for the women and children
and another for the men.

If a man was strong

he'd go on one side to work.

A very old man, to the other side.

A two or three-year-old toddler,

could he work?

Could he help the Germans
in the factories?

No. To death.

Women too.

If they were pregnant or weak, to death.

-Deaf people.
-What?!

What did they do to deaf people?

-Even if they were German?
-They'd kill all of them.

A deaf person would be killed.
He doesn't fit.

The disabled were killed.

That was the selection

between those who would live

and those who would die.

Let's get ready and stand up.

We are standing to commemorate
the six million Jews

who died in the Holocaust.

We lit the six candles,
now that's the siren.

All your life they tell you,
"Be strong, Ron."

You heard it from your principal
and from your grandpa.

But they meant that
you should be strong,

even though you're allowed
to be weak sometimes, you know?

Left, right, left...

Ron: All those years
spent in school, dear brother,

I eventually realized
that I don't believe in it.

-What's that?
-It's a land mine.

It has a wire,

and when people trip over it,
it explodes.

Now, there's a funny story about this.

That school was not
the place for me to live.

-What's that?
-Another land mine.

What's that?

It was attached to a rifle for stabbing.

I wanted to live another kind of life.

I felt an inner calling
that I had to follow,

to leave this place.

Mark time. March!

Squad, stand at ease.

At ease!

Hundreds were injured in a bombing
In Jerusalem..

A convoy was attacked
on its way from Gush Etzion.

47 people in a convoy
were killed in an ambush...

17 people were killed
in a convoy near Hulda...

The Egyptians, the Syrians,
the Jordanians, the Lebanese,

the Iraqis, the Iranians, the Yemenis.

Then I was filled with hatred

for everything told in the books
or the lessons.

I loathed the moments of distorted truth

and the quiet
heart-to-heart conversations.

I yearned for the galloping of horses.

I am unable to suffer and fight
for things I don't believe in.

That's why I quit school.

But about the military, dear brother,
it's different.

I have every intention to make it
like you into the special forces.

At least with that,
I always toed the line, Ron.

Look the terrorist in the eyes!

-Weapons ready!
-Weapons ready.

Weapons ready!

I want to see
one-hundred percent effort.

-Is that clear?
-Yes!

Do you want to kill him?

Yes!

Terrorist!

You know, Mom and Dad,

here, in the military,
you realize you have two options,

either to be a good combat soldier

or a good person.

You've deceived me.

Is this what you wanted
to prepare me for?

You call that a life?

I don't get along with the others.

The concept of "brothers in arms"
is foreign to me.

How can I connect with someone
based mainly on ass-busting?

I get enraged by people's moral values,

guys who say:
"A good Arab is a dead Arab."

Soon we'll be going through
the damn training series

and that's one of the things
that scares me the most.

I don't know who I am

and what's the meaning
of me being a soldier.

Come on, come on!

Sit on the floor, cross-legged.

Right now, we're all fine.

This is an emergency,

but it's not for real.

Why is it important
to go into the safe room?

So we'll be protected.

Yes. We're in a safe place.

Let's breathe.

Okay, quietly, we can go back
to playing.

This game can't go on any longer.

They can't take our lives like that.

We'll join them
to take over the first house.

Cross, cross, cross!

The hall on the right!

Three gaps on the left!

There's a terrorist.

-Are you, like, the terrorist?
-Yes, I'm the terrorist.

Why?

Tell me, why, for God's sake?

Why don't we get out of the military?

We'll run away from here,

to live,

to be human beings,

to fight for what you choose,

not for the lies you're being fed.

Help! Help!

To be free.

Free.

Do you understand
what it means to be free?

(In Hebrew)
"Welcome to first grade"

My Israel is beautiful and blooming

Who built and who planted it?
All of us, together!

I planted a tree in the Land of Israel

So now we have a country
and we have a house

And we have a tree
in the Land of Israel

My Israel is beautiful and blooming...

Stop shouting.

Stop shouting.

But don't break down.
Don't break down, Ron.

Freedom is within you.

Don't stop wanting it.

And how painful it is to wake up

and one of these days,

unlike in fairy tales,

it'll all end in a sweet sleep.

Only time and space,

only the sea and the mountains,

only a bullet or a grenade,

only green grass next to a tombstone,

only these will solve it.

Up until today I picked flowers.

Tomorrow I will pick a cloud.

What did you find?

What is it?

It's interesting and sad?

Look.

It's not a grave, but a memorial.

It's to commemorate someone who died.

He was a combatant
in the Givati Brigade.

He was a soldier.
He died three years ago.

They decided to put it here.

-How did he die?
-It doesn't say how.

Any ideas how the soldier died?

He died in a war.

Maybe he died in a war.

Zohar, behind you! Zohar!

So many bubbles.

That one is so far.

Right.

So many.

It won't explode.

Look, it's so high!

They reach a place where
they can never explode.

It disappeared among the clouds.

I wish we could be bubbles.

Doroni is going into first grade.

Tonight we're having a graduation party.

Doroni has already bathed
and dressed up.

Doroni,

tell us how it feels
to graduate from kindergarten?

What do you expect?

I expect it will be fun, I expect.

I just want school to be as good
as it was in kindergarten.

-See you at the party.
-Bye.

Hi, there I am.

Hello, Doroni. Hello.

I'm so beautiful and gorgeous.

Things I want to do
before I enlist:

Have dreadlocks.

Show up at school in a long dress.

Get a motorcycle license.

Buy a really big Russian fur hat.

Smoke weed on my 18th birthday.

Get a mohawk.

Go abroad on my own.

Meet David Bowie.

Learn Russian.

Finish writing a novel.

Make it through as a combat soldier.

Twelve years of school years
are about to end, Doron,

and you've achieved none of your dreams.

Why do you keep chasing
after what everyone else is doing?

Do you ever think about what it means
to be a soldier in Israel?

What it means to protect Jerusalem

or the southern or northern borders

with these current tensions in Gaza?

I don't, because I don't want
to become a soldier.

Ella, what does it mean
to be a soldier?

Love for the country.

Respect for the country.

Pride.

Okay, why pride?

Actually, I don't know why.

-Okay. -You show respect
by protecting the country you live in.

Okay. This November
I'll enlist in the army.

I'll serve for three years
as a combat soldier.

-Three years?
-Yes.

How is me putting on a uniform

and enlisting related
to love for our country?

Maybe I'm enlisting
because it's compulsory,

not out of love for our country?

-(Ella) Oh, we have to serve?
-Yes.

Wow.

Doron: All those years that passed.

Just a while back we were all kids

and in a little while
we'll be in the military.

Some of us are still lost.

Far away. I want to disconnect

from where I sobered up.

I want to be surrounded
by people I never met,

to dance on a distant beach
under the soft light of a dead star.

And if you hear unsettling sounds,

it's because the wind is close by

whispering to me

that we have run out of freedom,

and the shoreline is the border.

I don't want to calm down,

I want to agitate.

I will have thousands of guys

and I won't have to make any decisions.

Don't ever compromise.

Just be.

I'd say I'm a sad boy

but I can find happiness.

I need to find the tools to reach it

and sometime in the future
this boy hopes to find happiness.

My life today isn't so great.

Because I don't behave
like everyone else.

Why don't you behave like everyone else?

I think differently, I act differently..

Could you behave
like everyone else if you wanted?

I don't think I should change.

If someone has a problem with me

and doesn't like the way I am,

it's their problem.

You accept yourself the way you are.

To be continued...

Are we allowed to climb?

Can you take out one bullet?

Do you have an M16?

This is an M16.

Girls don't go to war.

I'm a spotter behind a screen.

-Where are you from?
-Shani-Livne.

-Shani-Livne?
-Yes.

-How old are you?
-Ten.

My birthday was last week.

Nice. What did you do?

Doron: I am weak.

-Is it fun in the army?
-Yes, very.

I only say it to myself,

Doron, you're going to be a combatant,

you're tough.

But not really.

One day I'll swim away from all this.

You say you want
the same things as everyone else,

but you don't.

Everyone says that I'm just fine,
but most of the time I'm unable,

unable to breathe.

Should I stand up to everyone?

Or just give in and collaborate

and enlist against my conscience?

I'm enlisting in a field-intel unit.

I'm going to be a combat soldier.

It's the first round of women
in field-intel units.

I received a list
of all the possible roles

and combat soldier was on it too.

Because people told me
that I could never be a combat soldier,

I went to the pre-conscription tryouts.

After I passed, I told my mom
that now I could opt out.

Time passed and I didn't opt out.

I realized that I would become
a combat soldier.

And the field-intel unit
seemed very serious.

Like they know what they're doing
and they really pay attention to you.

Why serve in the military?

That's a tough question,
we might start arguing.

because I don't want to do it.
It's.

a compromise.

Please wait to open the letters
I leave for you...

Bye, Mom.

...until I'm on the bus
for the induction center.

There's one for each of you.

To Mom:

It's important for me
to finish this path.

I'm doing it for myself,

to be released from your protection,

released from your embrace.

Daddy, what are you preparing for?

I'm preparing
for the arrival of Queen Doron.

Sounds good.

Dad, my superhero.
Nothing's too hard for him.

I know that you don't believe in me.

You think it's too much for me.

If I succeed as a combat soldier,

you'll be so proud of me.

Dad, do you remember

how you used to hide notes
in my lunchbox,

sometimes with a quote
cut out of the newspaper

or a drawing you made

with some words like:

"Doroni,

"I love you unconditionally."

-Mommy.
-Yes.

(In the masculine form)
Film me when I talk, okay?

Should I tell you what we'll do?

Mom, do you remember

how I used to talk like I was a boy?

You said it was only to get
more attention from Dad,

but I feel that this boy

is kind of my inner voice

or my writing voice.

Maybe I lost that little girl
on the way.

Maybe I laid her down in the dark.

-We can't hear you!
-Combat girls!

-Louder!!
-Combat girls!

So how did I lose all trace of myself?

I can't even say who I am,

why I am.

What have I come to?

I always thought that when I got older

I would see everything
from a higher perspective,

but I can't see clearly
with all this noise.

"Why did I enlist"

I dropped out of combat training.

Now I'm waiting for a new role.

Now I won't have to lie in an ambush
in Ramallah or Gaza and blast buildings,

not because I'm not a man

or because I refused,

but because I'm incompetent.

It's the system that dictates my life,

not me.

Is there anything
that connects you with that?

Or a story you might know
about someone close?

Not really.

Maybe my mom is hiding something,
but I don't know.

Do you know that she's hiding something?

I think so.

Okay. Do you have a soldier
in your family?

Someone who is serving now?

My cousin died.

She was a soldier.

She died in the line of duty.

She died during training.

Not in a war.

How did it happen then?

During training. It's a bit complicated.

What do you mean, during training?
They were just practicing?

Why?

During training, there's shooting,
all kinds of things.

Someone just shot her?

But how?

I don't know exactly,
they don't tell me much,

but probably something like that.

He's right.

Do you think that those who fought
and died for this country

shouldn't have had to do it?

Why not?

Because no one wants to die.

What if it's for the country?

It depends.

What do you think about the future?

I can't predict the future, you know.

All I can say is that it'll be fine.

Yes.

Raising you has been a joy

and it's been fun growing up with you

and following you every step of the way

because you share everything
and you're so open

and you expose everything.

And we do everything together.

And the look in your eyes, Mom.

Do you think I'm okay

just because I'm smiling?

I went for a walk today
outside the military base and thought

that I don't want to be stuck here
for two years.

But everyone around me says

that if I get discharged
on mental health grounds,

it would ruin my life.

I am so detached from life.

I'm wasting my life here.

Stuck at a guard post, in a box.

You'll never fulfill your dreams.

You'll never really be free
to be yourself.

I know the tears well up in your eyes

when you realize
what you're about to do.

I can't take it anymore.

I love you all.

Anonymous soldier: I wish
I could share with you, Diary,

everything that is
going through my head.

I haven't decided
what to do with you yet.

Maybe just bury you

so no one would know about you

or leave you here in the mountains
with a mysterious title:

"Written by the boy without a voice."

After walking for two hours in the
desert, all I saw was a pretty tourist

who took my picture.

Me, in uniform, with a gun.

Strange.

She doesn't know what's happening here,
and probably never will.

Every time I take a break, I write,

and sometimes look back
at what I've written

over the last four years.

Pull! Pull!

I am so in love, Diary.

I keep dreaming
that I die in a battle

or in a terror attack

and that this girl from my class, Adva,

hears about it

and then realizes that
she has feelings for me.

Pull!

Come on, guys, keep up the pace!
Come on.

But it's too late.

Today I started training
and I'm in bad shape.

Twice a week after school
I go to special forces training,

so I'll be fit enough
to get into a top combat unit.

But so far, all my friends
are becoming beasts

and I'm the only one
who's still weak.

Shoulders, one, two, three.

I want you to be animals!

Move it! Move!

Where do you want to serve?

-A combat pilot.
-Then fly up there.

You gotta excel to be a combat pilot.
Move it. Move! Move!

Today I took the Air Force tests.

They interrogated me
about my personality

to see if I'm psychologically fit.

They asked if I have a girlfriend.

I told them that I had one
so they'd lay off me

and think that I'm suited
to be an Air Force pilot.

What's wrong with me?

I'm 18 and I haven't kissed anyone yet.

A few days ago I wrote
an imaginary love letter

and these words stood out.

"Innocence has died."

It echoed in my head all week.

Only now do I realize
that the word "innocence"

also means "ending."

If I could have superpowers

I'd pick one of these four:

The first would be to turn back time

to the time before I started
losing touch with who I am.

The second superpower
is to be able to fly

so I could always see things
from above.

The third superpower
is to see the future.

I'd see if I'm going to make it
as a combat soldier.

And if I'd have a girlfriend.

If I learned anything here, Diary,

it's how the military can make me
more mature,

more self-assured.

The last superpower, Diary,

is when things mess up,
I could close my eyes, count to three,

and then disappear.

Come on, who's winning?

Are there missile strikes?

In Zikim, Carmia.

-Eight, nine.
-Work on your balance.

Keep your balance, eyes closed

and be ready if I try
to push you off balance.

You hear that?
Every few minutes it rings,

so just be aware.

Keep your balance.

Think about our brothers
just a few kilometers from here,

now running to the safe room.

They're probably already
inside it or in a shelter

and we're in a pastoral setting.

Are they just alarms?

It's red alert. It's sirens.

Youval, where's it falling?

For now, it's far from here,
on the border with Gaza.

We're having fun here
while they're in shelters.

Six, seven, eight.

Did you hear that?

Did you hear the explosions?

About the attacks on Gaza,

don't they run out of targets
since they attack so much?

Gaza is a huge place,
with two million people

and lots of buildings.

They whack around 100 targets in Gaza

in every round.

There's a long list of targets.

Ron: I try to listen
and I don't understand.

I'm dreaming

about horses,

about plains,

about you, girl,

moving in the wind

bright as the fog, blurry as the fog.

Around me I see life continuing

and I can't take part in it.

I know a day will come
when I'll talk like all of you.

This'll be the day that I die.

-Who's the strongest?
-We are!

-Who's the best?
-We are!

You know why?

You're about to become commandos.

And then suddenly, it comes.

Good job,
You'll be able to kill terrorists.

Everyone is foreign to me.

Everyone is from a world
that I've lost all connection with.

Everyone has this look.

Everyone holds something
behind their eyes.

Anonymous soldier:
I just thought about this girl.

who was a year ahead of me
in high school and then enlisted

She didn't leave a letter,
only a note with the line:

"Nothing in this world
makes sense to me like it should."

Everyone at the funeral was weeping
as they lowered the body of this

sweet, funny girl into the grave
and covered her with sand.

All that time Adva was flirting
with the other soldiers.

I keep thinking about this dead girl.

Was it easy for her to shoot herself?

Doron: Who are you to ask me
what I wrote last night?

While I was crying in bed
next to you?

And all you asked was,

Why don't you drop out
if you're so unhappy there?

Exhaust me.

Put the uniform on me.

But see if you can make me grow up

and turn me into a determined young man.

Move. Move. Come on. Move it!

Come on, Tsuk.

Move. Move. Work with your arms.

Ido is beating you.

Can you try and go up?
Try to come up.

I want to try and finish the last round.

-What?
-I want to run the last round.

-The last round?
-Yes.

Can you do it?

I know I can.

Move. All the way up, five more meters.

Four.

Three.

Two. More, more.

Good.

-How much?
-2.2.

Great.

Anonymous soldier:
That's it, Diary. The end of a period.

I still can't understand that
I'm enlisting when summer is over.

If I only had a girlfriend

to see me off
when I get on that bus.

Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the
Lord is one. Blessed is God's name.

May God lift you up and give you
what you need.

May He get me
into the unit I want.

-With God's help, I'll get in.
-Amen.

I'm still hoping to be sent to serve
as a combat soldier.

Brothers and sisters!

Joy, joy, joy, joy!

Give the guys some hugs.

Tsuk, good luck.

You've got this.

Although in my head
a friend's words echo

who told me on his
failing attempts

to be discharged on
mental health grounds.

"Don't make the mistake I made.

"Once you enlist

"it's impossible to be released."

But it's something that everybody
says during basic training.

Because who really dares to dodge?

Halil.

Halil.

Halil.

Dinner with Grandpa and Grandma.

At Friday dinner with all the family
my cousin asked me:

"Halil, what will you do
in the military?"

I said that I'm thinking about
not enlisting.

Everyone in the family who didn't know
looked at me, surprised.

It will be especially hard on Grandpa
who lost his family in the Holocaust.

Halil, can you say something to Grandpa
besides "block truck"?

Halil is reading "Someone to Run With"
by David Grossman.

A big achievement for him.

It will forever be remembered.

Now we film the father of the house.

The owner.

Yesterday I was driving with Dad,
talking about the army,

and suddenly he said
that if I decide to refuse,

he and Mom will support me.

A friend who's in jail for refusing
to enlist told me over the phone:

"Halil, they make us do useless jobs
like painting stones."

We laughed about it

and said how shitty the army is.

Back to Halil, who is still reading.

Yes, I saw it with my own eyes,
children in flames,

and that is where we are heading.

Am I still alive? Am I awake?

How can they burn people, children,
and the world remains silent?

You, who are about to graduate
high school and enlist,

you are the future
of Israeli society.

After the flag ceremony

I was walking with a friend down
a path in the concentration camp

and he said:

"Halil, this trip is so fake."

Then we started talking about Gilad

who's been in captivity
for over a year and a half in Gaza.

We had an idea of making a petition
to release him

and threaten with a mass
objection to serve.

We were so high on this idea.

It'll be spectacular,

really great.

Save, save, save Gilad!

Save, save, save Gilad!

We're here because we believe
that if the youth can't create change,

then who can?

What can we do, junior high
and high school students?

What can we do
if it's the government's decision?

How can we change anything?

We live in a world
where the adults set the tone,

so if we want to change the tone

we have to do it.

We can't rely on others
to do it for us

or to just give up.

Ofer, this is my family.

Hello.

Now that I see the family,
I understand how you have such a son.

Almost everyone argued
against my idea of refusing to enlist

despite how much I
tried to convince them

that otherwise no
one will listen to us.

In the end I had no choice
but to compromise.

This is a grassroots initiative.

A public letter by students in support
of the soldiers in captivity.

High school seniors
from Gilad Shalit's school

decided that after 18 months
with no sign of life from Gilad

they have to act.

Young people from all over the country
signed this letter to the government.

This idea was yours
and a friend's, Halil.

The idea started on a Holocaust tour
to Poland.

We were talking
about the soldiers in captivity

and we had an idea of an open letter.

Can you read part of it?

"We, the senior students,
who will be the next round of recruits

"and intend to enlist,
some of us as combat soldiers,

"announce that if the state will not act
to get the abducted soldiers released

"we will enlist without faith
in the government

"and with a feeling
that we too could be abandoned."

Halil, so all of you intend to serve?
None of you plan to refuse?

We only wanted signatures
of students who intend to enlist.

It's hard to enlist with this feeling.

-Do you feel alone?
-Yes.

-Sent to war with no support?
-Yes.

I didn't want to go
to the Gadna training week,

but my history teacher
tried to talk me into it

and my classmates said,
"Halil, you can't miss it.

"we'll have a good time.
It'll be fun."

There will be no guides,
only commanders.

It's gonna be
a freaking insane experience,

so have a good time.

It'll be a blast, guys. Have a blast.
Whoop it up.

-I forgot to bring sunscreen.
-Me too.

You have arrived at the Gadna
preparatory program base.

It's a military base in every respect.

From now on, whenever I ask anything,
you answer: "Yes, Commander."

-Is that clear?
-Yes, Commander.

-Again, is that clear?
-Yes, Commander.

Good, so I'll explain
how you stand at attention.

We stand with our feet in a V shape.
Your heels are touching, toes apart.

Your fingers form a diamond
behind your back.

Now, you have time
to put on your uniforms.

Someone help Ori.

Come on, Ori.

-This one?
-Just a second.

-Should I roll this one up?
-One second, Ori.

10, Adi. 11, Matan.

Then the moment came
when they lined us all up.

14, Meshi. 15, Shimon.

They started to give us the guns,

and I refused to take one.

The commander asked me
to step forward

and explain to everyone
why I'm refusing to take the gun.

I stepped forward
and without trying to convince anyone,

I said that teenagers
shouldn't hold guns.

Ori, step forward.

Ori, I'm putting the strap
on your shoulder.

Okay.

You put your hand here.

Exactly, one second.

Here, you see? This is the grip.

Can you feel it?

With your right hand.
That's the grip.

Great, go back. Carefully.

A bit to the left. More left.

Perfect.

-Another question? Yes.
-Attention, Commander.

I'll need help to aim
because I can't see.

No problem, that's what
the commanders are for.

Assume a prone position!

This is the grip.

Hold the fore-end with your weak hand.

Insert magazine!

Does the closed side go there?

No, the magazine well is at the bottom.

So I'll lift the gun for you.

I want to do it like everyone,
like they're doing.

You're doing it by yourself,
but it's not in the right place.

-Listen to me and then you'll do it.
-No problem.

Great, hold it only like this.

The hole upwards?

Yes, with your hand on the bottom.

I'll lift the gun for you
so you can do it.

Now you can put it in the slot.
Exactly.

Oh, it's here.

One second.

Load weapons!

Load weapons!

Ten bullets to the target. Fire!

Wait, is it here?

You can pull the trigger.

I'm holding it, I'm right here,

you're okay,
just pull the trigger.

-I'm afraid of getting hurt.
-You'll be fine, I'm holding it.

Just try one shot.

-It won't hurt me?
-It won't hurt you.

Great, you fired the first shot.

Everything's fine. Another one?

Another one.

Relax, everything's fine.
Do you want to shoot more?

She doesn't have to.

Do you want more?

No.

You can get up.

I don't think I should change.

If someone has a problem with me

and doesn't like the way
I am, it's their problem.

Adam, aren't you going to the military?

I'm going to the military,
but I have a bit more time.

You have more time?

The cakes are for Doron Assaf,

my daughter who is enlisting tomorrow
for three years.

Why serve in the army?

That's a tough question,
we might start arguing.

because I don't want to do it.
It's.

a compromise.

I'm doing it to fit in.
If I didn't plan to stay in Israel,

I'd have had no reason to serve.

It's only for two years, Doron.

Think about that soon enough
you'll be able to travel

to South America or India.

Mom, right now.
Mom, right now.

"Welcome to the Induction Center"

"Why don't you avoid
being a combat soldier?" my aunt said.

"Say yes to that top intel unit
that is eager to have you, Halil.

"Maybe you can change things
from within."

But there is no difference
between being behind a keyboard

or holding a gun.

The right thing to do

is to refuse to serve.

Attention, soldier!
You are allowed to refuse.

Attention, soldier!
You must refuse.

You can't enter. Go away.

-So, are you happy?
-You should be happy, not me.

We have five more minutes.

How are you feeling, Adam?

Why are you filming?

What? Am I going to die?

March!

Left, right, left.
Left, right, left.

Platoon, halt!

Face, left!

Is that left or right?

Right.

The drill with the gun.

Shoulder arms.

Shoulder arms.

Attention.

At ease.

He knows what he has learned.

Attention.

Shoulder arms.

Adam, why are you so serious?

Laugh a little.

Two-minute break.

-You should never do that.
-I know.

Two-minute break.

So how was your first week of training?

The first week was like this.
This is my commander:

Platoon One, you're late.
You have no discipline.

If you keep this up, none of you
are going home for the weekend!

You have ten seconds.
Go to the tents, tidy them up,

fold the blankets and come back here!
Ten seconds, go!

How are you feeling
about returning to the base?

I regained my strength over the weekend

and now I need to be a better soldier.

Really? What is a better soldier?

To lose less stuff.

And to be more focused.

Anonymous soldier: The first week
in the army was terrible.

Though I told everyone
it was easy for me.

In the letters and on the phone,
I brag about being a combat soldier,

but I'm actually doing all I can

to get kicked out
to a close-to-home unit.

Take his gun, take his gun.

Yesterday I was put in a tent
with people I don't know.

They started talking
about all the girls they'd fucked.

I wanted to cry.

Maybe I should listen
to the military psychologist

who asked me straight to my face:

"Why are you so soft?

"It's time to man up."

I'm not afraid of many things.

I'm not afraid to die,

but the killing repulses me.

Death to Arabs! Death to Arabs!

"Where are you, child?"

You're inciting for Jews to be killed!

We're not inciting.

They are killers!

I don't want to argue with you...

Death to Arabs! Death to Arabs!

We now sadly understand that
the window of opportunity has closed.

On the 1000th day of Gilad's captivity,

we'll leave the protest tent
and go back home, disappointed.

Now, we can only wait for a miracle.

Today we'll sleep here,
tomorrow we won't.

Halil: I am so useless.

No matter what I do

I'm unable to create any change.

If they attack us

then we should come down
on them so hard.

Why are you grabbing my hat?

We're not attacking or sending children
to commit suicide attacks.

More than 350 children under
the age of fifteen

were killed in Gaza
in Operation Cast Lead.

You can hear testimonies of soldiers
who killed Palestinians for nothing.

Go to Hebron to hear
what they do there.

I've been there many times.

And did you see how the settlers
abuse the Palestinians?

That's good.

We've tried to talk
and give away many things.

Give away what?
The chance to live like human beings?

You say: "I'll give back...

"I'll stop my military of rule
over them

"in every detail of their lives."

You don't have the right
to take this. This isn't giving.

First stop occupying
the territories, then make peace.

-First they should stop attacking us.
-They abuse us too, Halil.

It's like a kid who hits you
and you don't hit back.

It's more like a five-year-old
who slaps you

and you kick him in the head
and he dies in the hospital.

That's what he deserves.

That's what we should do
to all the Arabs.

They're terrorist organizations.

We tried to talk to the Syrians
and the Palestinians.

It's better if they die.

"Help!"

Here, Halil. Halil.

A month before being drafted

my aunt asked me at Friday dinner,

"Halil, did you decide to refuse?"

I looked at Grandpa and whispered,

"How can I?"

All my friends who I grew up with

are all there now,

dealing with so much.

Some of them didn't even want
to be there.

I can't leave them
to do the dirty work.

I need to be with them,
whatever that means.

Weapons in the air.

Briefing.

Everybody's excited, psyched.

We won't mess around.

We'll finish this properly.
It'll be awesome.

Awesome.

Sergeant, what can you tell us?

We're ready

to be the rearguard.

We're ready, it'll be awesome.

We'll kick some terrorist ass.

Everyone is playing a game

that I don't want to take part in.

I'm not cut out for it.

All this training works its way in.

I look around
and everyone looks like killers.

That was when I felt torn
from everything around.

The moment I opened my eyes.

All this madness running wild,

it's not me.

Ron: I was afraid to meet you.

I was afraid that you'd see me,

that you'd see
how I'd turned into a soldier.

And I'm ashamed of it

because I didn't have the strength

to take care of myself, of who I am.

I started painting, then I stopped,

but I want to paint.

I want more weapons,

more colors and clarity.

"Prison"

I tried to paint horses
running in the field.

Only faces came out.

I paint blind people,

deaf people,

people without a voice.

And out of all them, who am I?

Adam, you've completed basic training,

and while you're putting on your boots
and waiting to be picked up,

-can you sum it up?
-What?

The training experience
and what's next.

What can I say?

Everything you've experienced
and what's next.

I don't know what's next. Okay?

I have no idea.

Whatever comes next,
I'll deal with it, okay? Enough now.

Don't try to see anything!

Hands on one another.

Shut your mouths!

We don't want you to see anything.

Anonymous soldier: Tonight
is the last night of training

and I'm hiding in the tent
writing in my diary.

Tomorrow is the oath
of allegiance ceremony

and I have no intention to pledge.

Maybe I'll just move my lips
without making a sound.

I pledge! I pledge! I pledge!

I pledge! I pledge! I pledge!

After tomorrow they'll send us
to do patrol duty in Hebron.

I'm thinking of defecting

and going into the desert.

Before the military I had moments
when I thought of doing it,

but I couldn't. It was too frightening.

But here, now that I've got a gun,

I am given the chance.

Without pain,

without preparations and fast.

Doron: I'd rather die
than rage and kick and rebel.

I'd rather commit suicide
than feel like I belong.

Maybe when I'm no longer here,
someone will suddenly sober up.

Anonymous soldier:
What a beautiful sight.

I woke up
in the middle of the night

and an owl landed a few meters away,

just like that,
sitting there, looking at me.

I'm still not sure if it was a dream.

I realize that I am going to die

without having kissed
or even hugged a girl.

At least I'll die without going bad.

Dinosaurs did this.
They ruined the area.

Look, soldier ants.

Here.

A big ant without a red spot

is called a soldier ant.

A small ant without a red spot
is not a soldier ant.

It's a completely different kind.

That's Ashkelon.
Now this is what we're gonna do.

We'll walk

toward the sea.

-Can you see the missile?
-Yeah.

What can you say
about your experience so far?

-This is the place.
-What?

-This is the place to be.
-Yeah?

What an experience to be here
on the beach...

in Gaza.

Leave it, leave it.

No, no, why?

In a few seconds we'll open fire.

Halil: During my last furlough
at home I left a letter

with a farewell to everyone

and a brief explanation:

This world is full of evil,

exploitation, injustice,

and pain.

All my life I was either trying
to do things to fix it

or observing from the outside.

And most of what I have done
was meaningless.

Once I joined the army,

I became a part of what creates this.

And I couldn't cope with that.

I couldn't have asked for better
family and friends than the ones I had.

"Help"

Here maybe.

There's something deeper
than in the photos.

I think.

Listen, Guy, we'll never
truly understand

what happened to him,

but we can

take the things he wrote
and said seriously.

Halil said that the moment
he enlisted in the military

he became a part of the side
that creates evil in the world.

He wrote that.

He couldn't be in that place.

He couldn't be in a place
that creates evil in the world.

Why he couldn't see another way
where he could have a clear conscience,

I really don't know.

We aren't capable of knowing that.

I keep.

I can't.

Where are you, Ron?

"We'll change the world.
We'll replace the uniform."

Should it be published? Maybe not.

The date here is the second
of January. It's his birthday.

Ten days later he committed suicide.

"I am free! I am free! I am free!!!"

With three exclamation marks.

"The poem of joy, the taste of."

The taste of joy.
How come? I can't.

How come? He wrote this.

What could you expect from a child
who writes this kind of poem?

Freedom.

Ron: There isn't one
single person I can trust,

one person to whom
I can pass on my burden.

Don't be ashamed to cry, Ron.

Who you are is the most beautiful
thing in the world.

They can't do this to you.

And at the end of the dance,
when I fall

and bow my head,

for an instant the stars will dim.

Everything's upside down here.

I've arrived in another place.

Look, I'm invisible.

Invincible and invisible.

Now, I'll make myself disappear.

Anonymous soldier: It's so quiet here
and my heart is pounding hard.

I have one last hour
of sunlight to write

and I'm getting dizzy.

Everything is put in its place.

There's no more future
for me to discover

and no reason to turn back time.

All that is left is to disappear.

One, two, three.

Whoever finds this,
please make sure it reaches my parents.

I've planned this
so many times,

but now I don't know how to start.

Maybe by telling you
that I love you.

And if there's something
I feel sorry about, it's hurting you.

But all this reality that bothers me
so much will not change.

The killing machines will march forth

and you can continue to deny it,

but I can't.

This is a farewell letter.

I don't think anyone expected it.

I've always excelled
at the ability to pretend.

I'm all alone in this military world...

I feel that the military depraved me...

It's this uniform that kills me.

It's like they're trying to choke me

and I can't obey.

It's been more than a year
in this constant nightmare

of feeling spite to wake up
in the morning.

Every minute over the weekend
I thought about that barrel in my mouth

and the last barrage of bullets
I'll shoot.

There won't be a military funeral.

There won't be anyone in uniform!

Including you, Dad.

This time you'll wear civilian clothes.

Please, don't hold a military ceremony.

I don't want you to try
and understand me

because I know you won't be able to.

Please let anyone who wants it
to read this letter

without hiding it.

Find my poems and read them.

Look carefully at my paintings.

I'll finish now,

taking a few last looks at the world,

at the sky and the sea.

There'd better not be any malfunction.