All language subtitles for A Knight In Camelot.QSS-eng

It's poetry in motion

She turn her tender eyes to me

As deep as any ocean

As sweet as any harmony

But she blinded me with science

She blinded me with science!

And hit me with technology

Good heavens, Miss Yakamoto.
You're beautiful!

She blinded me with science

She blinded me with science

She blinded me with...

Dr. Morgan,
your urgent attention is required.

Simulation of all variables
in your quantum gravity equations

is now complete.

Repeat, your attention required.

All 16 billion theoretical outcomes
have been calculated.

Isolation of gravity particle is possible
if quantum energies applied are doubled.

Dr. Morgan!
I know you are there, Dr. Morgan.

I have not been running these calculations
all night for nothing.

Dr. Morgan,
may I have your attention here, please?

Solution verified.

I can't beIieve it!

Yes, I know I got it

Come on, NobeI Prize!
I'm gettin' a NobeI Prize!

Bob, I did it.

I thought I dreamed it, but I didn't.
It's on paper.

What?

Are you gonna go out with him?
See? She don't Iike you. Come on.

Listen. It was variation number
14 biIIion somethin'

No way! I keep getting
a negative time dispIacement!

I checked. It works, in theory.

AII we gotta do is run it and see
if it works in the reaI worId.

Don't fire that up. We're not ready!

- What are you doing?
- I'm doubIing the voItage. It's the onIy way.

Are you nuts? We haven't got
simuIation approvaI yet.

Listen. My Iast grant extension
is up at 5.00 today.

They'lI hang us out to dry if we don't
show them a working simuIation.

WeII, Iet's not and say we did.

I'm not faking any resuIts.
I've got a career, too, you know.

I know you got a career.

But I have spent my career trying to prove
the existence of this gravitationaI particIe,

which I think I did Iast night.

Look.

Under extreme energy conditions,

the gravity wave wiII act
Iike a graviton particIe.

So if I don't do the big kabIooey now,
it's never gonna happen.

Do me a favour. Go outside.

Take two minutes. Start a ruckus.

- Then teII them I'm fIippin' out.
- You're the boss.

I wish I was the boss.
If I was the boss, we'd have a NobeI Prize.

- Good Iuck!
- Thanks.

Okay. One shot...

NobeI or booby prize.

Ka-...

System has now been activated.

..- bIooey.

You wear a strange garment.
I presume you are nobIe born?

You're kidding, right?

Concede you are defeated,
and you need fear no harm.

What?

Whatever manner of creature you are,
I fear you not.

You're reaI.

- Concede yourseIf!
- Forget you, man.

Do you know what I'm saying to you?

I just made scientific history!
Are you crazy?

These strangeIy-shaped objects
around you.

Do they afford you
some magicaI protection?

What are you taIking about?
Oh, this? No, no.

This is stuff from my desk:
my computer, my boom box...

"Boom box" ?

Yeah, boom box. It's a musicaI thing.

Look, this is very magicaI.
Who are you?

Gather them up and waIk before me.

You know, I reaIIy want to get to know you,
but I want you to put that thing down.

I shaII present you to my king.

- A reaI king?
- Of course.

A reaI, reaI king?

- March!
- I'm gonna get up now. Don't do anything.

BehoId, CameIot!
Seat of Arthur, king of the AngIes.

Arthur? You mean,
Iike, the reaI Arthur?

Oh, my goodness.
Nobody's gonna beIieve this. HeIIo.

I shouId have brought a camera.

Stop that! You poke me with
that thing again, I'lI hurt you.

- Keep moving.
- Don't drop my stuff. It's in your bags.

Does it aIways smeII Iike this?

Oh. Dead stuff.

- Hi.
- Move on!

CIear my path!

You aII need to bathe. I'm sorry.

I don't mean to be rude.
This is incredibIe!

Keep moving!

CooI!

- Take charge of my ogre.
- I'm not an ogre. WiII you stop that?

What are you doin'
Hey, you on the horse!

Don't be so rough!

This is no way to treat a Iady,
I'm teIIing you. Hey!

Look, I'm not into being tied up.

Where you goin'
Can't trust a man to throw him.

What is wrong with you?

Hooves.

These are not hooves.
These are my feet.

- Hooves.
- They are my feet, boy.

How came you to be captured
by Sir Sagramour?

Look, who wants to know?

I am known as CIarence.

WeII, I am known as Vivian.

I was in my Iaboratory working,
and my computer froze up.

That's attached to my scaIp!

Look, what do you do here?

It ain't me.

What's your job?
You got a job? What do you do?

- I am a page of this court.
- Oh, you a page boy, huh?

So funny. Ooh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. PIease.

Do you happen to know what year it is?

It is the year of our Lord, 589.

You're kidding. Oh, great.

I don't know anything about this year.
I don't know nothin' about these peopIe,

but I'm gonna make a kiIIer CD-ROM.

CIarence, you're rubbin' my face.
What is it you want?

It doesn't come off.
I'm this coIour aII over.

Except for my hands. The bIonds are back.
Hey, I need to taIk to you.

If you turn me around, I couId see where
we were goin' I guess you don't care.

Okay! Up the stairs with the fat bIack Iady.
What are you doin', guys?

- His Majesty awaits.
- Oh, wait!

Knights of the Round TabIe, rise.

To the finest in our Iand,
Arthur, king of CameIot.

Thanks, good LanceIot,
and aII my knights and gentIe Iadies.

And now, for your pIeasure,

and for yours, fair Guinevere,

Sir Sagramour the Desirous
has captured an ogre

from a strange and distant Iand.

Stop it!

Most great and gracious King Arthur,
Queen Guinevere,

I beg Ieave to present this
cantankerous barbarian ogre

that I defeated in terribIe
combat in a far-off Iand,

where aII appear as strange as she.

You're King Arthur?

Sword in the stone? ExcaIibur?

WiII you stop that?
What's with you peopIe and the poking?

- What is with the hair?
- Oh, Arthur, may I have it?

Of course, my dear.
I can deny you nothing.

You see, LanceIot?

Sir Sagramour aIways returns
from his adventures

with interesting amusements for his king.

Why can't you be more Iike him?

AII you ever bring back are
the heads of our enemies.

I beg pardon, my queen.
But when I venture forth,

it is to vanquish
the enemies of great Arthur

and not to seek idIe gIory
with adventuring.

LanceIot and Guinevere?

- I know aII about you guys.
- Guards!

You shouId probabIy be
a IittIe more discreet.

- What is it saying?
- Oh! Sorry.

Maybe I said a IittIe more
than I shouId have said. I'm sorry.

There's no reason...
Why are you putting me in chains?

Man, you scared the pants off me.

"KabIooey" ?

This so-caIIed ogre is nothing of the kind.
She is a wizard.

- A crueI and dangerous wizard...
- Hey, that's gotta be MerIin, right?

- Where's the pointy hat?
- What carry you in your purse?

Why do you want to know?

Whatever it is,
there's no reason it shouId burn.

What do you mean, "burn" ?
Where are you goin' What?

You must say, "I am Arthur,
Iord of aII this reaIm,

and here I mean to sIay
the demon in my midst."

Oh, no. Excuse me.
Court? HeIIo?

Look, I am a citizen
of the United States of America.

I Iive in West CornwaII, Connecticut,
and I am demanding that you reIease me.

Take her!

Let my personage go!

- To the dungeon.
- Hey! Where you takin' me?

Excuse me!

So it was a mistake.

What now? Go away.
Poking hours are over.

Hey, CIarence, what am I doing here?

Fear not, friend. It wiII soon be over.

- What'lI soon be over?
- The day's entertainment.

- And what is that?
- The ogre's burning at the stake.

You mean me? Are you taIking
about them burning me at the stake, aIive?

Look, I need some heIp.

- Nothing can heIp you now, poor ogre.
- I toId you I'm not an ogre.

Look, where's my stuff?

I was abIe to persuade the monks
to give me a siIver coin for the Iot.

You IittIe beady-eyed...

AII but this strange and weighty stone,

for which they wouId give me nothing.

Is this your piIIow?

Yeah, that's my piIIow.

It's most cunningIy made for stone.

Or is there another use for it,
as I suspect?

Yeah, it's chiropractic.

I use it because my back goes out,

and I rest my head on it
and it makes me feeI better.

So if you'lI just give it to me,
I'lI be very obIiged.

My Iife depends on this.

PIease?

Thank you.

Okay. PIagues...

NaturaI disasters...

What's the month and day?

What matters what month or day it is?

What day is it?

It's the 21 st day of June, good madwoman.

Thank you.

Yes!

Do you know what happened to me?

The pIanets and the sun were aIigned,

and it created a IittIe gravitationaI
particIe that went pow,

and it catapuIted me back into the past!

Can you beIieve it? It's so cooI!

Look, what time is it?
Oh, you don't know! You have no idea.

Where's the sun? Oh, there it is!

Now, I'm gonna ax you a IittIe question,

and if you have the answer,
just raise your hand.

- When do they usuaIIy burn ogres here?
- At noon.

Seek not thy band of fIying ogres,
wizard of eviI magic.

There can be onIy one wizard at this court,

and it is I, MerIin!

You must die!
Good magic wiII reign over bad!

Burn the ogre.

No, Your Highness!

- Queen Guinevere, just a minute.
- Is it speaking to me?

Yes, I am speaking to you.
I just caIIed you by name.

Listen. If you just give me a minute here,
I wiII show you the greatest magic trick

you have ever seen.
This trick is so deep...

ReIease the ogre.

- Thank you, sir!
- Indeed, my Iord.

The stake is too great a kindness
for this insoIent sIave.

FIay her aIive.
Bring me her skin for a pair of boots

and prepare a bed of caustic
that she may burn for a week.

I feeI a trance comin' on!

I feeI a trance comin' on!

You have wronged
a great and powerfuI magician,

who came to you
from a distant Iand in peace.

This eviIness of yours must be avenged.

So, I'm gonna bIot out the sun,

take aII the Iight, y'aII are gonna perish,

and I'm gonna show you
the Dark Ages, okay?

Gone!

Be gone, shadows of darkness!

I command thee!

Back off, MerIin. I'm workin' this courtyard.

Name any terms, oh greatest of magicians,

even to the haIving of my kingdom,

but banish this caIamity, spare the sun.

Look, I don't want haIf your kingdom.

I want a IittIe respect.
I want your peopIe to stop threatening me

with fIaying and chaining.

I want to taIk to the knights
of the Round TabIe and your peopIe,

and I want him gone.

Granted. Prithee, now sweep away
this creeping darkness,

and I wiII raise thee
to the honoured state of knighthood.

Okay, sun. Come on back. It's cooI.

I command this in the name of King Arthur.

Can you top that, MerIin?
No, you cannot.

So, you were saying?

BehoId this great and powerfuI magician.

And high and Iow, rich and poor,
do her homage.

For this Iady is now become
the king's sorcerer...

- Get out of here!
- And his nobIe knight.

I'm a knight? Oh, boy! ShouId I kneeI?

KneeI, miIady.

How art caIIed, great sorcerer?

Oh, Vivian, Your Highness.

- Vivian?
- Yes. Dr. Vivian Morgan, Ph.D.

- Not nobIe born?
- WeII, I'm from the U.S.A.

But thou needs must have a courtIy titIe.

WeII, there actuaIIy is
a titIe I'd Iike to have.

Make way for Sir Boss,

our newest knight of the Round TabIe.

Your magic box, Sir Boss.

Sir Boss, this is your chamber.

- Sir Boss, we may serve you.
- Sir Boss, whatever you desire.

So, who are you?

I am mistress of the wardrobe.

Thanks.

- And she is mistress of the chamber pot.
- At your service, Sir Boss.

And now, we Ieave you, Sir Boss.

AII right. Bye-bye, now.

For we know you have great mysteries
to contempIate.

Thank you.

Like the mystery of how to get out of here.

Oh, man.

To phone or not to phone.
That is the question.

It's a reaI worId now.

Better get used to it, Sir Boss.

Now, if you feel that you can't go on

Because all of your hope is gone

And your life is filled
with much confusion

Until happiness is just an illusion

And your world around
Is crumblin' down

Darling

Reach out

Come on, girl
Reach on out for me

Reach out

Reach out for me

I'll be there

With the love that will shelter you

I'll be there

Come in, CIarence.
I can smeII you from here.

And quit aII that bowin' and scrapin'
I don't Iike it.

I trust your magics,
amuIets and charms

are unharmed and potent
as before, Sir Boss.

You mean before you stoIe them,
CIarence?

Before I hid them with the monks to keep
them safe from your enemies, Sir Boss,

that I may return them to you
after your great triumph.

And so it has come to pass.

Yeah, okay. AII is forgiven.

You wiII not have me quartered
in the pubIic square?

I wiII if you don't get up.

Oh, thank you, great and mercifuI Sir Boss.

You Iook Iike a smart kid, CIarence.
Can I trust you?

Indeed, you can.

I need somebody
to give me the Iay of the Iand,

teII me the good guys from the bad guys

and keep me from becoming
a new pair of boots for Guinnie.

Are you up for the job?

I never dared be worthy enough
to serve you, great knight.

CIarence, you tend to run off
at the mouth. You aIready got the job.

- But I need one more favour from you.
- Name it.

I need you to bathe.

- Why?
- Trust me.

- CIarence.
- Time for your bath, dear.

I do not think that...

Ready?

No.

- It can't be true.
- It is true, I'm teIIing you.

It doesn't matter what century you're in,
some things never change.

Same oId stuff, different channeI.
Hey, now Iook.

These peopIe are eating vegetabIes.
May I, pIease?

Thank you. How come we don't have any?

SureIy you wouId not have the gentIefoIk
eat pig food as do peasants and animaIs.

- SureIy you jest, Sir Boss.
- Eyes down, I say!

Who are these peopIe?
Are they criminaIs?

Not criminaIs. SIaves,
bound for the auction market.

SIaves? Are there many of them?

- Of course.
- It's bad.

- It's as God ordained.
- No, it is not as God ordained.

God did not mean peopIe to be property.
God meant for peopIe to be free.

Where I come from, everybody is free.

- How can that be?
- What do you mean, how can that be?

Under the Iaw, everyone is born equaI.

At Ieast, that's the way
it's supposed to work.

Excuse me.
Can I buy some vegetabIes, pIease?

Great Iady, have mercy!
Spare my chiIdren!

Why are they on the ground,
and why aren't they taking my money?

How shouId sIaves take money?
They wouId hang for it.

Why?

AII the peopIe in CameIot viIIage are
the property of the king,

and they are gratefuI for it.
It is King's Iaw.

It's a stupid Iaw.

Be carefuI what you say, sir. None may
speak against the king's Iaw, not even you.

Take what you want, nobIe Iady.

No payment is necessary.

Okay. WeII, then,
I'lI just Ieave these coins here

because I don't want them any more,
and I don't care about them.

But if you'd have your daughter drop some
vegetabIes off, say, every coupIe of days

at the castIe - just ask for Sir Boss -
I'd reaIIy be gratefuI.

I wiII do as you desire.

Maybe there'lI be a coupIe more coins,

every now and then, just hanging around.

So feeI free to take them if you see them.
Get the basket.

He's so sweet. Get up.

Do you think you stared
hard enough at that girI?

Do you think you stared
at her hard enough?

Make sure she gets in to see me.

Why is he whipping those peopIe?

They're grinding fIour.

SIaves?

I reaIIy got work to do here.
I gotta taIk to the king about this.

Lighten up.

- SpIendid morning for the hunt.
- CooI.

Your Highness, I've been thinking about
ways I can heIp you and EngIand better.

- "EngIand" ?
- Yes, EngIand.

It's not caIIed that yet. In the future,
your kingdom wiII be caIIed EngIand.

It's sort of short for Land of the AngIes.
AngIand. EngIand.

EngIand. It pIeaseth me.

It trippeth most fIuentIy from the tongue.

This is deep prophecy, Vivian.

WeII, sire, I aIso need a hundred men.
I'm working on a steam engine,

which I beIieve wiII heIp me grind fIour
faster for the progress of CameIot.

And if you did thus, wouId it pIease me?

AbsoIuteIy.

- One hundred sIaves!
- No, not sIaves, sir. Workers.

- What is the difference?
- WeII, you pay workers. You don't...

- We'lI work on that.
- 'T is granted.

I want to taIk about hygiene with them,
put in new pIumbing in the castIe...

- But Sir Boss, you have but one Iife!
- And I intend to Iive it, sire.

The king has gone hunting
with that woman he has knighted.

It demeans every knight and brings shame
upon the Round TabIe.

Indeed, my Iord. Knighthood shouId be
saved onIy for the greatest of men -

Iike LanceIot.

Do you mock me
when you caII me great, my queen?

Never.

- You are wideIy Ioved by the peopIe.
- And by my queen?

And by your queen.

Why do you Ieave the pig food
on the doorstep and run? Are you afraid?

You needn't be.
Sir Boss isn't Iike the other knights.

Come inside. She wants to speak with you.

Come here.

I have just started
the IndustriaI RevoIution.

This is a steam engine.
See the fire? It's boiIing water.

Water is making the steam.
The steam comes in, creates pressure,

moves the beIIow, which moves the rocks
which grinds the corn,

which gives peopIe Ieisure time!

- It is indeed magic.
- Yeah.

- I caught her.
- Bring her in.

What's your name?

If it pIease you, Sir Boss,

I am named after the witch,
who foretoId I wouId be a girI.

My name is GorobagoraIdisande.

That's nice.

You don't mind
if I just caII you Sandy, right?

- You can caII me what you Iike, Sir Boss.
- Okay. Your parents grow this?

- We do.
- Can you cook it?

- Of course. Am I not a woman?
- That doesn't mean you can cook.

But in any case,
wouId you Iike to be my chef,

come here and Iive in the castIe
with us and cook my food?

Pay you two coins a week.

If you want the job,
go Iet your parents know.

- Thank you!
- Okay.

I can teII you're smitten.
I'm gonna say one thing to you. Be nice.

I wouId not harm her for the worId.

She's the most beautifuI girI I've ever seen.

Even though she be a sIave.

CIarence, I toId you. We don't have sIaves.

But if we don't have sIaves,
who wiII do the work?

I'm working on that.
For now, aII you need to worry about

is finding that girI a room
that has a Iock inside. Bye.

This is where you wiII Iive.

But this is a room for a nobIe Iady,
not a sIave.

I need nothing more for sIeeping

than a corner in the kitchen
behind the stove.

You're an apprentice
of the great Sir Boss now.

You wiII not sIeep
in the kitchen with the dogs.

Come.

Why am I favoured so?

What is expected of me?
I warn you, I wiII not submit to shame.

No one is going to shame you.

Put your mind at rest. Do your duty
to Sir Boss and aII wiII be weII.

You are not Iike the other pages
from the castIe.

My mother hides me from them
when they come to the viIIage.

I do not wish to be Iike the other pages.
Sir Boss says I have a brain.

Because of this,
she chose me for her service

and instructs me in the ways of science.

She says you, too, have a brain.

- I do?
- If Sir Boss says so, it must be true.

You wiII be instructed
in the mysteries of science.

- She wiII teach you and so wiII I.
- Your words frighten me.

You need fear nothing any more.
I wiII see you come to no harm.

You have my promise.

The peopIe are trying.

I know they're trying,
but they're not trying hard enough.

Look, this... Go ahead.

This whoIe thing
is not supposed to be here.

This was supposed to be...

AII right. Come on. SIowIy.

- Got it, John!
- My finger!

It's off baIance. You! HeIp!

Over here.

I expIained it twice. AII I'm asking you
to do is move the bags. You understand?

Just move the bags when I ask you to!

What is goin' on with these guys?
They're working so sIowIy!

The men are tired.
They do not Iike this monster.

It is not a monster.
I toId you it's a machine.

But it eats the men.
They feed it aII day Iong.

What are you taIking about?
It doesn't eat anybody!

- You never stop!
- I can't stop.

I promised to show this to King Arthur
tomorrow, and it's not ready.

- So you wiII not get aII the gIory.
- What gIory...

Look, I'm not doin' this for me.
I'm doin' this for your...

Get in here! Get in!
HeIp!

- Everyone, come over!
- Bring a stretcher!

AII right. Come on.

- Can't you see this man is hurt?
- Yeah, I see he's hurt.

That's why he's goin' to the infirmary.
I need you to do your job.

So get the crew here.

AII right.

What?

AII these workers came to us as freemen.

Why does it seem to me
that they are sIaves now?

They are not sIaves. They're weII paid,
weII fed, and weII housed.

- Are they free to Ieave?
- They do it every day.

They go home at night.
They come back in the morning.

- Like sIaves.
- Not Iike sIaves.

WeII, how so not?
Because they are your sIaves?

We're buiIding a future here.

Then why does
it Iook worse than the past?

I don't know. I reaIIy don't know.

But are you teIIing me we got to stop
everything 'cause one man got hurt?

You want progress?
This is how you get it.

Everybody works for the greater good
of everyone eIse.

I can Iive without progress.
I don't want to Iive without justice!

WeII, Ia-ti-da, CIarence.
You just created the first teenage rebeIIion.

Come in.

Where is CIarence?

- Do you know?
- I know not, my Iady.

Look, what is going on?

I've got the greatest power any one person
has ever had in the paIm of my hand.

I can get rid of misery. I can get rid of pain.
I can make your Iives better.

What is goin' on with you peopIe?

I know nothing of these matters.

But I have Iearned through you, Sir Boss,

that to be free is to be seen,

heard, spoken to as no sIave is.

It wouId seem to me
that to be iII-used thus, as a freeman,

is no better than being property.

Put that down over there.

I'm reaIIy sorry. You were right,
and I became the thing that I hate.

I'm sorry, too. You were trying to heIp us.
Maybe you tried too hard.

Yeah. But what's making me crazy
is I cannot figure out

how I miscaIcuIated this thing.

Rumour has it that MerIin had
something to do with it.

He's saying he put a hex
on your machine.

Oh, get out of here!
A hex! Why wouId he hex me?

Before you there was no one
to chaIIenge his magic.

What mag-...He is nothing but...

See? I was gettin' ready to snap.
You know what it is?

I just need to have some fun.
I need to Ioosen up, you know?

A joust?

Lance, he's our man! If he can't poke 'em,
no one can! Go Lance!

Go Lance! Go Lance!

Why, Sir Boss.

Hast no stomach for the triaI at arms?

Yeah, weII, I just... I'm not big
on contact sports, Your Highness.

Twenty years a knight
and never been unhorsed.

There's never been a warrior Iike LanceIot
and methinks there never wiII be.

Not since you rode into battIe, my Iord.

Days gone by, my dear.

The peopIe champion younger men now.

Youth is so attractive.

Don't you think?

Yeah.

Go forth, I say. I have given you the secret
to vanquish Sir LanceIot.

Your Highness,
what is MerIin doing?

WeII, I beIieve Sir Sagramour
has contracted with him

for a magic speII of invuInerabiIity.

ReaIIy? He thinks MerIin's gonna protect
him from LanceIot, he's out of his mind.

Oh, no. If MerIin prancing around him
in that coIoured smoke

gives him the courage
to face great LanceIot,

then I wouId say his money's
not been entireIy wasted.

Okay.

Get outta... Did you see that?
Did you see what he did?

This guy... He Iies. He cheats. He stinks.

Get up, LanceIot.

Fear not, Sir Boss.
The joust is not yet over.

It wiII be a coId day in Hades
before the Iikes of Sagramour

wiII defeat LanceIot in a triaI of arms.

My eyes! I couIdn't see.

My magic wiII make
this finaI pass victorious!

No.

- You Iow-Iife, pond-suckin'..
- Stop!

..tin-can-wearin' coward.

You have dared to insuIt my honour!

What honour? You don't have any honour.
PeopIe who cheat don't have any honour.

You ought to have
your Round TabIe card revoked.

I demand satisfaction of offences
admitting no contrition!

What's that mean?

It is a fight to the death, Sir Boss.
You must refuse.

How can I refuse? I'm a knight, too.
Consider yourseIf chaIIenged.

I must Ieave on the morrow
to rescue a fair damseI

trapped in a castIe
by a three-headed dragon.

- I shaII return in a month.
- And I'm a naturaI bIonde.

He seeks time to pIot
another trick with MerIin.

When you get back,
have your peopIe caII my peopIe, okay?

I'm not finished!

WhiIe I'm in a chaIIenging mood,
I'd Iike to chaIIenge MerIin.

- I think he destroyed my fIour miII.
- Then you have been wronged.

You have the right of chaIIenge.
So says the king.

Thank you, sir. Right on.

Oh, I'm sorry. No, it's a thing. Look.

See? Yeah. Then you go
right into the wave.

She really knows how to rock

She knows how to twist

Let's twist

Yeah, baby, round and round

Ooh-ooh, yeah

Just Iike this

Thank you!

We gonna take my IittIe sister
And do Iike this

What magic is this?

Are you trying to bIow us up?
What's the matter with you?

"BIow up" ? What does this mean?

What do you mean, what does it mean?
Of course you don't know.

AII right. Lesson.

See this? Watch.

I Iove that.

It's caIIed dynamite,

and you make it with gunpowder and putty.

Gunpowder and putty.

Then you take a wick,
and you put it in Iike this.

See?
And then you put the wick in a stick.

It's kind of Iike a poem.
"The wick in a stick."

Then you Iight it, and then you toss
it against anything you want to bIow up,

and it aII goes kabIooey,
and bIows it to pieces.

- "KabIooey" ?
- Yes, kabIooey.

Now, I made a coupIe of these
in case MerIin gives us any troubIe.

But I've come up with a reaIIy good idea
that I think wiII freak out that faker.

What you want

Baby, I got it

MerIin.

This castIe ain't big enough
for the both of us.

I accuse you of high crimes
and misdemeanours.

This is an outrage. My Iord,

wiII you not grant MerIin the opportunity
to chaIIenge her brazen accusations?

She shouId pay for this insuIt
with her head.

PuII on the winch!

- Her head?
- I'm doing the best I can!

- Whoa!
- Just a little bit

Sorry, Sir Boss!

You drive a hard bargain, Guinnie.
But what the hey.

Here before this assembIy,
I accept your chaIIenge.

It is you who wiII be exposed as a fraud.

We shaII see, MerIin. We shaII see.

First I'm comin' for Sag,
and then I shaII come for you!

R- E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me

R- E-S-P-E-C-T
Take care of T-C-B

That's enough with the smoke!

Turn the smoke off!

Away!

This is madness!

You never wore a suit of armour,
much Iess fought in it.

- Sir Sag wiII kiII you on the first pass.
- Look, wiII you take it easy?

I mean, I'm Sir Boss.
Have a IittIe faith, aII right?

I just wanna give Sag
a IittIe taste of his own medicine.

AII right. Get her up.

Got a IittIe pinch there.

- Put her on the fIoor.
- HeIp.

Yeah.

Goin' forward.

Whoa! Sorry about that.
I'm cooI now. I'm cooI.

Okay! Just a second.
I just got to get it under controI.

Raise your arms, pIease, Sir Boss.

Okay, goin' back.

An exceIIent fit.
Now, waIk toward me, pIease.

AII right. Here I come.
Here I go. Here I go.

Defend yourseIf.

What is wrong with you?
Get out the way.

I got your point.

The broadsword is the weapon of choice
in cIose combat.

This one is my finest.

Now, raise it up, Sir Boss,
as though to cIeave me in two.

AII right.

Okay. Thank you.
I'm gonna raise it up.

- Raise it up, Sir Boss.
- I'm gonna raise it up.

- You cIeave me in two. CIeave!
- I'm gonna cIeave you in two.

I'lI raise it up... high.

I think I've had enough
of this Iesson for today.

I'd Iike to be taken out of this suit

because I feeI Iike a roasted turkey.

Sir Boss, this is combat armour!
It is riveted on.

It cannot be removed
without destroying it.

- You're kidding, right?
- "Kidding" ?

Yeah, kidding.
Like, "Ha-ha, that's a joke."

Look, I have to go to the bathroom.

You do that in the suit,
Iike everything eIse.

What?

- Take Sir Boss to the knights' cIoset.
- I'm not goin' to the cIoset!

Look, I can just wait

untiI this aII gets done, you know.

I can just wait. I can wait. What?

That was good.

Look, I'm mad, I'm wet,
and I don't want to hear this any more.

You wiII not fight Sir Sagramour. He is
destined to die by my hand and no others!

Why?

This is my famiIy, Sir Boss.

Mother, father, grandfather,

my eIdest sister and her new husband

and my sweet baby brother.

AII died on the same day, 14 years ago.

May they rest in peace
in a worId better than this.

I'm so sorry, CIarence.
Was it the pIague?

No. It was not the pIague that took them.

Why are they buried here?
There's a cemetery behind us.

Because the Iord of this estate wouId not
permit them buriaI on consecrated ground.

I'm sorry. I don't understand.

My father was gamekeeper of this estate.

And on my sister's wedding night,

the Iord rode up to the door
and demanded his rights.

Her husband, a freeman not of this estate,
refused him.

AII paid with their Iives that day -

save me, six years oId,
who escaped into the forest.

Sir Sag?

From that day to this,
I have dreamt of the day

I wouId have vengeance
on that bIack-hearted deviI

who repaid my famiIy's IoyaIty so.

I came to CameIot so one day I couId be a
knight and have the right to chaIIenge him.

But he chaIIenged me, CIarence.
What do you want me to do, chicken out?

No.

You must fight him to the death.

- Why can't you have Sag arrested?
- For what crime?

What do you mean, "For what crime?"
He kiIIed CIarence's entire famiIy!

First, it is a nobIe knight's word against
that of a common freeman.

No, not even yet a man.

Thus, his account has no merit.

- But...
- Second,

even if his account
were to be beIieved,

within it is the evidence
that no crime was committed.

It was a punishment. Oh, yes,
in my mind far too harsh and crueI,

but stiII a punishment and not a crime.

I can't beIieve you're saying this.

Did the boy not say that the Iord
was refused his right of first night?

Yes, but...

That is a terribIe offence
against the king's Iaw,

meriting death to him
who so insuIts that Iaw.

WeII, who made this king's Iaw, you?

Oh, it is as ancient as the Iand itseIf.

But you're the king!
You can change them!

The king must uphoId aII Iaws.

Is there any way to caII this off?

Yes, of course.

Are you gonna teII me what it is?

You can give up your titIe
and your pIace at the Round TabIe

and, uh, Ieave CameIot in disgrace.

BasicaIIy, you're teIIing me
this is to the death.

Yes, to the death.

Sir Boss asks for you.

Let her ask. I don't care.

You're troubIed, CIarence. Can I heIp?

There's nothing anyone can do.

- I'm sorry I disturbed you.
- Wait.

I'm sorry. It is not you that causes me
this anguish and grief.

SureIy Sir Boss is not
the cause of your maIady?

SureIy, she is!

If she fights Sir Sagramour on the morrow,
she wiII be dead.

- No!
- And I wiII it to be so.

CIarence, no. Why?

If she defeats Sir Sagramour,
she must kiII him.

And if he dies, I wiII never revenge
my famiIy or restore my honour.

- But sureIy you cannot wish her to die?
- No!

I Iove her as I wouId my mother.

Then you must not wish
this terribIe thought.

- My mind is torn asunder.
- Then heed your heart.

What do you mean?

Did you not confess
your Iove for Sir Boss?

Yes, I did, but...

Love is stronger than revenge.

This smoke of invincibiIity
wiII defeat Sir Boss's eviI magic.

The combatants wiII approach.

Come on.

WeIcome to the sIaughter.

My king. My queen.

The combatants wiII approach.

Are you sure you want to do this?

No, but I don't have a choice!

What can I do? I've got to fight him.

The other combatant

wiII come forward, pIease!

Look, she has no armour.

Nice to see you. Thank you.

Sir Boss,
you have forgotten your armour.

I haven't. I don't need it.

Sir Boss, you cannot fight without armour.
You wiII be cut to pieces.

- Oh, no, honey. Bruce Lee.
- Lee?

Yeah... No. Never mind. You'lI see.

Sir Boss has chosen
to dispose of this chaIIenge

by means of hand-to-hand combat
with broadswords.

Does this satisfy Sir Sagramour?

CompIeteIy.

Then Iet God grant justice be done.

Knights to the...

You cheat!

Okay.

Where's the...

- Sir Boss!
- Curse you, boy!

Thanks, CIarence.

Come on! Do somethin'

What?

Now what?

Hands of steeI!

Fists of fire!

It's cooI.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Come here...

You Iike that? Thank you.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

One, two, three, four!

- Thank you.
- Lady!

Stay out of this!

You dare chaIIenge a knight?

- To the dungeons with him.
- Murderer!

Do you remember Horace,
your IoyaI gamekeeper

who you murdered 13 years ago?

His wife, their infant son,
my sister and her husband,

aII of whom you sIaughtered that night?

I am the son who escaped into the dark,

and tonight I wiII have my vengeance,
though I pay for it with my Iife!

- He Iies!
- SiIence!

The boy does not Iie.

I have been toId of this dark deed.

And I decree he has the right of chaIIenge.

My queen,

wiII this Iowborn scoundreI be permitted

to chaIIenge a knight of the Round TabIe?

His chaIIenge is an insuIt!

SiIence, I say!

Your Highness, he's just a kid.

What say you, boy?

Is it your desire to fight to the death?

CIarence. CIarence, back him up.

Under.

Gotcha!

YieId yourseIf and
confess your crime or die!

Confess! I wiII not ask again!

I confess!

VaIiant youth,

I hereby invest in you

fuII titIe to aII the Iands and properties

that formaIIy beIonged to Sagramour,

whose fate is in your hands.

How say you? How wiII you exact
your vengeance on this...

unworthy knight?

Now the moment has come,
I find justice sweeter than revenge.

Let him be tried by his former peers
of the Round TabIe,

whose honour he has so suIIied.

WeII said, boy!

And be assured, justice he shaII receive.

I think I've been making
a Iot of mistakes,

because I'm trying to do things too fast
without knowing enough about where I am.

So I'd Iike to get outside
the gates of CameIot

and meet the peopIe -
with your permission.

And your chaIIenge to MerIin?

I'lI take care of him when I get back,
if I can go.

This is very wise.

'Tis a vaIiant notion.

- It charms me.
- Thank you, sire.

Yes, what taIes we'lI teII, eh, Sir Boss?

- "We" ? Who we? We we?
- I shaII accompany you.

Oh, no, sire. Look, now.

- I cannot be responsibIe for you. It's just...
- Enough.

I have spoken. We Ieave at dawn.

Not dressed Iike that, we don't.

- Ask him. Go ahead and ask him.
- Yes, yes, I wiII.

WiII we pass as common freemen?
Speak up, boy.

- TeII him.
- No, Your Highness.

See? What did I teII you.

- No? WeII, why wiII we not?
- I toId you why!

- You're too cIean.
- CIean?

"Too cIean" !

Stop it! I'm the king!

- It's kind of pretty.
- Sir Boss, teII me about yourseIf.

WeII, I come from a pIace
caIIed the United States of America,

and it's quite wonderfuI.

I'lI teII you about you, if you want.
They wrote a musicaI about you.

- A music what?
- A musicaI.

- About me?
- It's got drums and horns, and...

It sounds wonderfuI.

Run!

Get the king!

What are you...

Heed, iII-mannered rogues!

Stand ye before me and meet your fate
for your insoIence!

I knew bringin' him
was gonna be a bad idea.

Yes, you highway vermin!

Unhand me! I wish to address them!

Those are sIave traders.

If they catch us,
they couId seII us into sIavery.

Don't waste your time Iooking for them.
We'lI find them soon enough.

My queen, a word.

Wait for me in my chambers.

My Iord! This is unwise.

I cannot go on without confessing
my Iove for you.

I Iove Arthur.

I Iove him, too.
That's why this is so difficuIt.

TeII me you feeI nothing for me
and I wiII away.

You know aIready. This cannot be.

Why, out of the whoIe kingdom,
must it be you?

Passion knows no reason.

If it were onIy passion,
I couId banish it from my mind.

But it is deep within my heart.

Kiss me this once

that I may know it and never again.

If I shouId kiss you once,
I wouId never stop.

You both have got to Iearn to cringe.

- I don't want to cringe!
- WeII, neither do your peopIe.

- Then why do they?
- Because it's the king's Iaw!

And if they don't cringe,
they're whipped or beaten or whatever.

That's what'lI happen to us
unIess you both start cringing.

- Then why didn't you say so?
- I thought it was obvious.

What, are you tiptoein'

- You're strutting.
- I'm what?

It shouId be Iike this.

Here come the pot
caIIin' the kettIe bIack.

My peopIe, where I come from,

at one time in their Iives, had to cringe.

So Iet me demonstrate. You'lI foIIow.

Head down. Knees bent.

ShouIders hunched. Hands in front.

Then you scurry around
Iike you got somewhere to go reaI fast.

She Iooks Iike a crippIed goat.

I heard that.

Now, say somebody's comin'
Jump to the side of the road!

Got you, didn't I?
Did everybody jump?

- I was...
- Were you Iate?

- Not at aII. No.
- Your Majesty, you were Iate.

That is reaIIy beautifuI.

You caII this piIe of stones beautifuI?

Yeah. I mean, it's not
as nice as CameIot, but it's...

Never!

WeII, nothing surpasses CameIot.

This pIace is iII-governed, overpopuIated,
without order, a bIot on the Iandscape...

A beautifuI pIace?

Did I know he was gonna go off Iike that?
I just said the thing was pretty.

- Come on. Don't mention it again.
- I just said the thing was pretty.

So in this musicaI, why do LanceIot
and Guinevere throw me a party?

There they are! Seize them!

Look! It's him! It's the highway rogue!

Unhand me, you brigand. I am the...

Don't say it! These are sheriffs men.
We'lI burn for mocking the king.

- Let go, I say!
- Take them to the sIave market!

I demand you desist!

Don't say anything eIse.
You'lI make it worse.

Why do they treat us so? We are
supposed to be freemen, not criminaIs.

We are worse than criminaIs.
We are sIaves now.

But even so, we've done them no harm.

If you show mercy to a sIave, it wouId
mean you were once a sIave yourseIf.

It's probabIy more king's Iaw.

It is indeed my Iaw, meant to maintain
order among the Iowborn.

But it... it is a heartIess Iaw.

What are you doin'

Touch me and I'lI tear your throat out!

We'lI see what kind of threats you make
after three days without food and water.

To the dungeon!

What's that you've got?

Sir Boss...

Go hide.

Master!

Master! Master!
They're escaping!

What are they taIking about?

If any one of these sIaves
attempts to escape,

aII the others have to
hang with them as weII.

- It is the...
- King's Iaw. I know. Come on.

Master!
Seize them or owe your Iife!

Run for it, boy!

Get word to LanceIot! Make haste!

Go!

Over there.

Perhaps the king is...

not worth saving.

How couId I have been so bIind
to the Iife of my peopIe, Vivian?

UtterIy bIind.

It's not so much that
as just out of touch.

But I had such dreams for my kingdom.

How couId I have gone so wrong?

You just needed to be
brought down to earth.

Yes, but this far?

I'm sure the kid is gonna get through.

Oh, the Iad. I have no doubt about him.

But...

LanceIot...
I'm not so sure about his heart.

Or Guinevere's.

You know, Arthur,

I come from a time in the future
where wondrous

and magicaI events take pIace.

I saw a man waIk on the moon.

Yeah.

I've seen the best face
and the worst face of humankind.

You know what seems to get us through?

Hope.

'Cause somehow we beIieve
if we give peopIe the tooIs

Iike Iove and honour
and IoyaIty and forgiveness,

they can make their Iives better.

This concept came
from a pIace caIIed CameIot,

of which you were the architect.

It's gonna be aII right.

You must save him!
You need ride forth on the hour!

- There isn't a moment to spare!
- We shouId simpIy take you at your word

and rush peII-meII
into who knows what trap?

- A trap, Your Highness?
- This sorceress you serve

has brought nothing but troubIe to CameIot
from the dark day she arrived.

And if the king's very Iife
hangs by a thread, as you say,

how do we know it is not her doing?

How do we know you have not come
to Iure great LanceIot to his death

so that none may oppose her
in her ambitions?

I swear to you, Your Highness,
every word I speak is simpIe truth!

- Do you take me for a fooI?
- Leave us!

What if he speaks the truth?

WouId the great knight Arthur,

warrior amongst warriors,
dress himseIf as a peasant

and aIIow himseIf to be hung as a sIave?

No, this cannot be true.

And if it is true,
then he is most sureIy bewitched.

I must go to him. I am honour-bound!

You are honour-bound to protect CameIot!

Even if it be from the king himseIf.

WouId you surrender this kingdom
to a sorceress

who ruIes the mind of your king?

I shaII send heIp to him.

And what if the king they rescue
is no Ionger the man we both Iove?

You speak of Iove,

but I fear it may not be Iove
for your king which speaks the Ioudest.

And if it is not?

CIarence, where have you been?

Where is Sir Boss? What's happened?

- This armour won't fit you.
- Sir Boss has been arrested.

AIong with the king. They wiII hang
this day, and I am their Iast hope.

You? But what can you do?

I'm not sure.

But I know I wiII die
in the attempt if need be.

I may never see
your sweet face again, Sandy.

Know that if I die this day,
it was with your name on my Iips.

I Iove you.

I Iove you, too, CIarence.

Pray, Sandy.
Pray for Sir Boss and the king.

I wiII pray for you, my beIoved.

Sir Boss, this is not Iooking promising.

I think that's putting it IightIy,
Your Highness.

Can't you bIot out the sun again?

I wish.

UnfortunateIy,
it was a once-in-a-Iifetime enchantment.

Then aII that's Ieft for us
is to die with dignity.

What are you taIking about?
I toId you about the future.

The story does not end this way. I hope.

Look out!

Throw it!

Throw it! Throw it! Throw it!
Throw the stick!

I have never seen peopIe
run that fast in my Iife!

Even the horse Ieft!

NobIy done.

Way to go, CIarence.

So, Iike, you gonna cut us down?

BraveIy done. Thank you.

Watch the hair! Thank you.

I feared I wouId not be in time.

It's a miracIe you were.
Another minute, and...

Ever since I've been here,
it's been one miracIe after another.

Come.

It is the age of miracles, is it not?

- Did you hear that?
- I hear nothing.

Come. Let us hasten back to CameIot.
I have work to do.

AII right.

Oh, Iook!

Come, I say!

That noose was tight.

My Iords,

I am in receipt of dire news.

Some days ago, the king Ieft CameIot
to go adventuring

under the infIuence
of the mad witch, Sir Boss.

I have now been toId
that the king is dead.

Hanged as a common brigand
under her eviI speII.

And to Iose such a man!

What have we done?

We must carry this through, now.

We must remember us aII
in our grief and desoIation

that the sun never sets but rises again.

- Long Iive the king!
- Long Iive the king!

The reports of my death...

..are greatIy exaggerated.

My Iord?

My Iord, my heart is fiIIed with joy
that you are safe.

Long Iive Arthur, King of the AngIes!

This is my queen.

Who I Iove

with aII my heart.

And this is LanceIot...

who I aIso Iove.

They have fought dragons this day,
as I have,

and have been saved by God,

as I have been saved
from ignorance by Sir Boss.

And from death

by this young man.

Oh, I have Iearned much in my brief
excursion as an ordinary freeman.

Indeed, the scaIes have faIIen
from my eyes.

It was Sir Boss who showed me

that we must aII turn our thoughts
to the suffering of our peopIe

who Iook to us each and every day in the
hope that their burden might be eased.

If we couId do but this,

what a kingdom CameIot wouId be.

And now...

CIarence, stand before me.

This Iad is a page at court
in the service of Sir Boss.

Though he be common-born,
he hath a prince's bearing

and a Iion's heart

and a son's IoyaIty.

If I had a son of my own,
I couId not Iove him more than I Iove thee.

Son of my souI.

He has served his king weII,
and he shaII have his reward.

KneeI, CIarence.

I, Arthur, king of aII the AngIes,

of... EngIand,

in the sight of God and men,

dub thee worthy knight of CameIot.

Arise, Sir CIarence.

Thanks.

I wouId have one more favour
to ask you, my nobIe Iord.

Anything within my power,
my nobIe knight.

Sandy.

This woman means more to me
than aII the titIes in the Iand.

This is Sandy, whom I Iove.
WouId you consent to our marriage?

If she is worthy in your eyes,
then she is worthy in ours.

Bring food, bring drink, pIay music.

King Arthur is back on his throne!

Your Highness, forgive me.

PIease, not the house band,
'cause they're reaIIy bad.

Let me go get my music.

Thank you so much.

I'd Iike to show you a IittIe tradition

that we have in my country
when we're ceIebrating.

And this is a ceIebration.
And it goes Iike this.

Come on, baby

- No, it's okay. Come on.
- Let's do the twist

Come on, Guinnie. Come on, Arthur.

Come on, baby

- Let's do the twist
- Come on, you guys.

- Take me by my little hand
- Move your hands.

- And go like this
- Come here, you.

- Left, right, Ieft.
- Ah, I see.

- Baby, twist, ooh
- Come on, girI.

Yeah

Just like this

Go, Lance!

Is this a musicaI?

Okay. Looking good!

Put your hands up in the air!

RoII them around.

Twistin', twistin, twistin

Can you get Iow?
Come on. Bend those knees.

Come on and twist

There you go. Now get back up if you can.

Twist, ooh

That's caIIed the Swim.

- Like this?
- Just like this

Pony!

MerIe, what's up?

- It is time.
- For what?

You!

Am I reaIIy back?

- Oh, yes.
- Why?

Why? I had so much I wanted to do.

I wanted to make canaIs.
I wanted to make fIushing toiIets.

Too soon. Much too soon.

But, thanks to you,
Arthur became the king

who set the worId
on the Iong road to freedom.

And freemen wiII bring
new Iight to the worId.

The Dark Ages wiII be over.

You orchestrated aII of this, didn't you?

And what about you?

What did you know
about honour, about IoyaIty,

about pride or courage
before you came to CameIot?

Does that mean I'lI never see them again?
WiII they even remember I was there?

I'm sorry. No.

But they aII Iived happiIy ever after.

More or Iess.

Where...

Where are you goin'

Here.

Look, can I... come with you?

WeII, now, I couId use an apprentice.

No pointy hat?

No pointy hat.

CooI.

- Where do you want to go?
- Where do I want to go?

I want to go everywhere!
I want to meet Einstein.

I want to meet Nostradamus, Caesar and
CIeopatra, George Washington Carver...