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1
00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:12,844
♪ Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'
2
00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:17,048
♪ Come on, get happy
3
00:00:17,117 --> 00:00:21,352
♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
4
00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:23,855
♪ We'll make you happy
5
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:29,127
♪ We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together
6
00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:32,464
♪ And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on
7
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:35,700
♪ Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together
8
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:39,137
♪ We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song
9
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:43,358
♪ Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'
10
00:00:43,427 --> 00:00:45,878
♪ Come on, get happy
11
00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:51,767
♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
12
00:00:51,836 --> 00:00:55,204
♪ We'll make you happy
13
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:58,557
♪ We'll make you happy
14
00:00:58,609 --> 00:01:02,544
♪ We'll make you happy ♪
15
00:01:05,882 --> 00:01:07,494
All right, let's try it
again from the top, huh?
16
00:01:07,518 --> 00:01:10,952
It's a whole lot easier than
trying it again from the bottom.
17
00:01:11,021 --> 00:01:13,088
Danny, you're short.
18
00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:15,190
Okay, let's finish
the rehearsal.
19
00:01:15,259 --> 00:01:17,859
Reuben will be here any
moment with his nephew.
20
00:01:17,928 --> 00:01:19,627
You know, I think it's exciting.
21
00:01:19,696 --> 00:01:22,275
I mean, coming all the way from New
York to learn managing from Reuben.
22
00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:23,609
I mean, that really
takes something.
23
00:01:23,633 --> 00:01:25,934
Yeah, bad taste.
24
00:01:26,002 --> 00:01:27,002
Shirley.
25
00:01:27,071 --> 00:01:28,103
Hi, Reuben.
26
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:29,172
Hi.
27
00:01:29,973 --> 00:01:31,106
Where's Alan?
28
00:01:31,175 --> 00:01:33,341
Well, I don't know. He
was right behind me,
29
00:01:33,410 --> 00:01:35,755
but somehow I lost him. I thought
he might have wandered in here.
30
00:01:35,779 --> 00:01:36,945
Uncle Reuben.
31
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:39,047
Oh, there he is. In here, Alan.
32
00:01:41,085 --> 00:01:43,185
Hi, I'm Alan, Uncle
Reuben's nephew.
33
00:01:43,253 --> 00:01:44,253
Hello, Alan. Hi, Alan.
34
00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:45,321
How are you?
35
00:01:45,389 --> 00:01:46,821
It's very nice to meet you.
36
00:01:46,890 --> 00:01:48,501
This is Danny and
Chris and you met Keith.
37
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,936
That's Tracy over
there and this is Laurie.
38
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,759
Hey, Tracy, Laurie. Hi, Alan.
39
00:01:51,828 --> 00:01:53,706
Alan, where were you?
You were right behind me.
40
00:01:53,730 --> 00:01:55,197
I got lost.
41
00:01:55,265 --> 00:01:57,432
You got lost between
the car and the garage?
42
00:01:57,501 --> 00:02:00,668
Yeah, you see I dropped my pen
and when I bent down to pick it up,
43
00:02:00,737 --> 00:02:04,606
I didn't see Uncle Reuben
turn the corner round the house.
44
00:02:04,674 --> 00:02:06,874
Well, at least you found us.
45
00:02:06,943 --> 00:02:08,843
And I also found my pen.
46
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:14,616
So I can write down everything
Uncle Reuben tells me about managing.
47
00:02:14,684 --> 00:02:16,518
A pen is important.
48
00:02:16,587 --> 00:02:19,087
I see your point.
49
00:02:19,156 --> 00:02:20,888
We're glad you're here, Alan.
50
00:02:20,957 --> 00:02:22,056
It should be a lot of fun.
51
00:02:24,394 --> 00:02:25,627
Tuning? Hmm?
52
00:02:25,695 --> 00:02:26,828
I can tune it.
53
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,341
Since I'm your new
assistant manager,
54
00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:30,832
I can help you with
things like tuning.
55
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:32,967
Be careful, huh?
56
00:02:33,036 --> 00:02:35,748
Oh, don't worry. I spent a month
working my Uncle Jack's music store.
57
00:02:35,772 --> 00:02:37,405
He taught me all about tuning.
58
00:02:38,342 --> 00:02:39,941
Here, go ahead. Try it.
59
00:02:53,056 --> 00:02:54,322
Wrong key.
60
00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:01,674
Can you go over the part about setting
up the equipment again, Uncle Reuben?
61
00:03:01,698 --> 00:03:03,265
Mmm-hmm.
62
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,077
Well, the point is to make
sure that the equipment
63
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:08,270
is set up early enough
before the concert, so that the
64
00:03:08,338 --> 00:03:11,939
sound system can
be checked thoroughly.
65
00:03:12,008 --> 00:03:13,586
You know, you don't have to
write everything down, Alan.
66
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,143
I don't want to forget anything.
67
00:03:15,212 --> 00:03:18,146
Yeah, but any normal
person should know that...
68
00:03:20,350 --> 00:03:23,285
On second thought,
write it down. Write it down.
69
00:03:23,353 --> 00:03:26,588
Don't worry, Alan.
Managing isn't really that hard.
70
00:03:27,891 --> 00:03:30,024
Shirley, managing is a jungle.
71
00:03:30,093 --> 00:03:32,959
There are contracts,
negotiations, schedules,
72
00:03:32,983 --> 00:03:35,230
plus making sure
everybody's happy.
73
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:38,266
Make sure everybody is...
74
00:03:39,503 --> 00:03:41,436
H-A-P-P-Y. Happy.
75
00:03:44,107 --> 00:03:45,773
Hi, Alan. How's it going?
76
00:03:45,842 --> 00:03:49,744
Great. Uncle Reuben is teaching
me all about the managing jungle.
77
00:03:52,882 --> 00:03:54,982
Mom, the faucet's
acting up again.
78
00:03:55,051 --> 00:03:57,319
Oh, Reuben, remind me
to call a plumber today.
79
00:03:57,387 --> 00:03:58,853
Right. A plumber?
80
00:03:58,922 --> 00:04:02,424
Why call a plumber, when
you've got one right here?
81
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:05,793
Alan, it could be a
complicated problem.
82
00:04:05,862 --> 00:04:08,396
I mean, it's no trouble
to call in a real plumber.
83
00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:10,898
Look, what am I here
for, if not to help you?
84
00:04:10,967 --> 00:04:15,036
It's right in here, "Make
sure everybody's happy."
85
00:04:15,105 --> 00:04:17,905
Alan, don't do anything drastic.
86
00:04:17,974 --> 00:04:20,442
It's just a simple adjustment.
87
00:04:21,378 --> 00:04:23,077
There. All is well.
88
00:04:26,283 --> 00:04:28,523
Well, at least it doesn't
make those noises anymore.
89
00:04:28,552 --> 00:04:31,052
That's funny. It
should be running.
90
00:04:31,121 --> 00:04:32,920
It is running.
91
00:04:41,465 --> 00:04:44,799
Uncle Reuben, I think now is
a good time to call a plumber.
92
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,768
Call anybody you want,
93
00:04:46,836 --> 00:04:48,803
but stop calling me uncle.
94
00:05:08,359 --> 00:05:10,258
Is it okay if I come
in without knocking?
95
00:05:10,327 --> 00:05:13,862
Uncle Reuben said I should, but usually
people don't like for me to do that.
96
00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:15,697
Of course it's okay.
97
00:05:23,107 --> 00:05:24,739
Why don't you sit down?
98
00:05:24,808 --> 00:05:26,341
Here?
99
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,143
Why not?
100
00:05:28,212 --> 00:05:30,512
I don't mind standing.
101
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:32,747
Alan, why are you so nervous?
102
00:05:32,816 --> 00:05:37,252
Well, to tell you the truth, I get very
nervous when I'm alone with a girl.
103
00:05:37,321 --> 00:05:41,523
Well, why don't we just say
we're friends... You know, pals.
104
00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,691
Thanks, that's much better.
105
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,527
- Hi, Alan.
- Hi, Keith.
106
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,496
Hi. Danny.
107
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:50,399
So, how's your first day
as an assistant manager?
108
00:05:50,467 --> 00:05:53,101
- A little depressing.
- Aw, come on.
109
00:05:53,170 --> 00:05:55,115
Don't let a couple of
little mistakes bother you.
110
00:05:55,139 --> 00:05:58,006
I mean, you're learning the
business and that is the object, isn't it?
111
00:05:58,075 --> 00:06:00,642
The object is to
succeed at something.
112
00:06:00,710 --> 00:06:02,577
Well, you do want to
be a manger, don't you?
113
00:06:02,646 --> 00:06:04,379
I'd like to be near
show business.
114
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,648
I figure, managing is
the closest I'll ever get.
115
00:06:06,716 --> 00:06:09,451
But what is it that
you really want to do?
116
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,053
You'd laugh me out of the room.
117
00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,121
Well, no, we wouldn't.
118
00:06:12,189 --> 00:06:13,388
Go on, tell us.
119
00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:17,992
Well, I'd really like
to be a... Comedian.
120
00:06:19,763 --> 00:06:21,274
You're not laughing
me out of the room.
121
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,465
Of course not.
122
00:06:23,534 --> 00:06:25,545
Look, when we first decided we wanted
to be singers, we were nervous, too.
123
00:06:25,569 --> 00:06:26,846
Hey, come on,
Alan, you can do it.
124
00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:28,236
Show us a little
bit of your act.
125
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,205
Well... Oh! Come
on, just a little one.
126
00:06:30,274 --> 00:06:32,006
Come on. Okay.
127
00:06:35,179 --> 00:06:37,979
Okay. Here it goes.
128
00:06:38,048 --> 00:06:41,049
Before I start, there are a
few things I'd like to clear up.
129
00:06:41,118 --> 00:06:42,150
Starting with my face.
130
00:06:43,287 --> 00:06:44,752
I really don't mean that.
131
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,541
I like to talk about my
complexion because
132
00:06:46,590 --> 00:06:48,656
it hides my nervousness
about my height.
133
00:06:48,725 --> 00:06:52,627
You see, I am what
sociologists describe as,
134
00:06:52,696 --> 00:06:53,995
upper-middle-short.
135
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,510
And girls intimidate
me, they always have.
136
00:06:57,534 --> 00:07:00,902
When I was a child, I called
my mother, Mrs. Kincaid.
137
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,108
I had a dog when I was a kid,
138
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:07,709
he taught me tricks.
139
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,348
Oh, hi, Mrs. Partridge,
Uncle Reuben.
140
00:07:13,417 --> 00:07:14,616
Alan.
141
00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:17,152
Mom, Alan was just doing
a comedy routine for us.
142
00:07:17,221 --> 00:07:19,654
Yes, it was very good.
143
00:07:19,723 --> 00:07:20,723
You really think so?
144
00:07:20,790 --> 00:07:22,157
Why did you stop?
145
00:07:22,226 --> 00:07:24,526
There are five
people in the room.
146
00:07:24,595 --> 00:07:25,760
I don't understand.
147
00:07:25,829 --> 00:07:29,097
More than three, I freeze up.
148
00:07:29,166 --> 00:07:31,466
I guess I'm better off being a
manager like Uncle Reuben.
149
00:07:31,535 --> 00:07:34,802
That's right. Stick to managing,
that's where the action is.
150
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,271
I think I'll go wait in the car.
151
00:07:36,306 --> 00:07:38,039
Suddenly, I don't feel so well.
152
00:07:46,583 --> 00:07:48,183
What's wrong with him?
153
00:07:48,252 --> 00:07:51,253
One minute he's telling jokes
and the next he's not feeling well?
154
00:07:51,321 --> 00:07:55,257
I diagnose it as a sudden
attack of acute under confidence.
155
00:07:55,325 --> 00:07:56,358
Hmm.
156
00:07:58,262 --> 00:07:59,761
Hi, Reuben.
157
00:07:59,829 --> 00:08:01,796
Big trouble, Shirley.
158
00:08:01,865 --> 00:08:02,865
What is it?
159
00:08:02,932 --> 00:08:04,999
Big, big trouble.
160
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,768
I have to catch a
plane to San Francisco
161
00:08:06,836 --> 00:08:09,304
to firm up that deal
with the Palomino Club.
162
00:08:09,373 --> 00:08:13,074
Which means that I won't be able
to join you until day after tomorrow.
163
00:08:13,143 --> 00:08:15,143
Why is that, "Big, big trouble?"
164
00:08:15,212 --> 00:08:21,316
Because you won't have anyone
to handle things here, except Alan.
165
00:08:21,385 --> 00:08:24,886
Let him handle things. It'll give him
a chance to gain some confidence.
166
00:08:24,954 --> 00:08:27,433
No, I'll just have to take care of
the Palomino Club on the phone.
167
00:08:27,457 --> 00:08:29,090
I can't let you...
168
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:33,528
Hi, buses are
loaded, Uncle Reuben.
169
00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:36,198
Alan, you are still
calling me uncle.
170
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,900
Oh, right. I'll try to change
that, Uncle Reuben.
171
00:08:38,968 --> 00:08:41,203
Alan, I have some news for you.
172
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,905
You're not an assistant
manager anymore.
173
00:08:43,973 --> 00:08:45,540
You're firing me.
174
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,554
That means I'll be
sent to my last relative.
175
00:08:47,578 --> 00:08:49,043
Uncle Zorba.
176
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:52,080
He volunteered to teach
me the demolition derby.
177
00:08:52,148 --> 00:08:55,483
Alan, we're not firing you.
Reuben has to go to San Francisco
178
00:08:55,552 --> 00:08:58,720
and you'll be in charge
until day after tomorrow.
179
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,722
You mean I'm a real
manager for a day?
180
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,023
Two days.
181
00:09:02,092 --> 00:09:04,526
Oh, I won't let you down
Mrs. Partridge. I promise.
182
00:09:04,595 --> 00:09:08,563
Uncle Reuben has taught me
everything he knows about managing.
183
00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:11,099
Somehow I wish
you hadn't said that.
184
00:09:22,078 --> 00:09:23,378
♪ Did you ever read a book
185
00:09:23,447 --> 00:09:24,957
♪ That's the kind
of book you thought
186
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:28,015
♪ You'd never ever
want to put down
187
00:09:28,084 --> 00:09:30,485
♪ One good scene
just leads to another
188
00:09:30,554 --> 00:09:33,555
♪ It's spinnin' your head around
189
00:09:33,624 --> 00:09:36,023
♪ Longer you read
it the surer you get
190
00:09:36,092 --> 00:09:40,194
♪ That you gotta
just keep on goin'
191
00:09:40,264 --> 00:09:42,997
♪ Like gettin' an itch in
a scratch where you itch
192
00:09:43,066 --> 00:09:45,833
♪ And a love that
keeps on growin'
193
00:09:45,902 --> 00:09:51,273
♪ That's the way
it is with you, baby
194
00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:53,875
♪ You reach down in my soul
195
00:09:53,943 --> 00:09:56,645
♪ Turn off my control
196
00:09:56,713 --> 00:10:01,783
♪ That's the way
it is with you, baby
197
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:06,988
♪ And let me be
the first one to say
198
00:10:07,056 --> 00:10:09,824
♪ I thank you
199
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:20,168
♪ Did you ever hear a song
200
00:10:20,236 --> 00:10:22,248
♪ That's the kind of song
you wanted to sing along
201
00:10:22,272 --> 00:10:24,472
♪ From beginning to end
202
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,974
♪ The third time you
heard it you knew the words
203
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:30,011
♪ But you had to
hear the tune again
204
00:10:30,079 --> 00:10:32,747
♪ Over and over
and over and over
205
00:10:32,816 --> 00:10:36,451
♪ You got to hear
it one more time
206
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,153
♪ Like real good meals
and cookies and kids
207
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:42,290
♪ Tears and hummin'
this love of mine
208
00:10:42,359 --> 00:10:47,629
♪ That's the way
it is with you, baby
209
00:10:47,698 --> 00:10:50,131
♪ You got me by the core
210
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,834
♪ You got me screamin' more
211
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:58,072
♪ That's the way
it is with you, baby
212
00:10:58,141 --> 00:11:03,578
♪ Let me be the first one to say
213
00:11:03,647 --> 00:11:05,012
♪ How much can I need you
214
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,681
♪ And how much longer
215
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:09,183
♪ How do you feed
an endless hunger
216
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:10,852
♪ How much can I need you
217
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,320
♪ And how much longer
218
00:11:12,389 --> 00:11:16,324
♪ How do you feed
an endless hunger
219
00:11:17,794 --> 00:11:22,897
♪ That's the way
it is with you, baby
220
00:11:22,966 --> 00:11:25,667
♪ You reach down in my soul
221
00:11:25,736 --> 00:11:28,236
♪ Turn off my control
222
00:11:28,304 --> 00:11:33,341
♪ That's the way
it is with you, baby
223
00:11:33,410 --> 00:11:35,910
♪ You got me by the core
224
00:11:35,979 --> 00:11:40,582
♪ You got me screamin' more ♪
225
00:11:42,386 --> 00:11:44,018
Terrific. A great song.
226
00:11:44,087 --> 00:11:45,854
Thanks, Alan.
227
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:48,322
That's all for now.
We're right on schedule.
228
00:11:48,392 --> 00:11:49,635
You know, Alan,
you've been our manager
229
00:11:49,659 --> 00:11:52,126
for five hours now and
nothing has gone wrong.
230
00:11:52,195 --> 00:11:54,396
Yeah, lunch was ready
right when we got here.
231
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,130
You ordered our favorite thing.
232
00:11:56,199 --> 00:11:58,279
How did you know I like
peanut butter and jelly?
233
00:11:58,334 --> 00:12:00,034
Managing savvy.
234
00:12:00,103 --> 00:12:02,637
This could be a sign that
you were wrong about yourself.
235
00:12:02,706 --> 00:12:04,038
Thanks, Mrs. Partridge.
236
00:12:04,107 --> 00:12:07,575
It'll take a lot of success to
wipe out 18 years of failure.
237
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,355
What do we have for
the rest of the afternoon?
238
00:12:09,379 --> 00:12:12,647
Well, 3:00 interview
with local newspapers.
239
00:12:12,716 --> 00:12:15,483
4:00, a television
spot with ABC TV.
240
00:12:15,552 --> 00:12:19,353
4:30, publicity pictures
and 6:00, dinner.
241
00:12:19,423 --> 00:12:21,423
Pretty impressive.
242
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:23,536
I wrote everything down, Uncle
Reuben told me. It's all in here.
243
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:25,660
It looks like we've got
nothing to worry about.
244
00:12:25,729 --> 00:12:27,940
Right now, I want you all to go
to your rooms and get a little rest.
245
00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:30,264
I still have a few details
to take care with the hotel.
246
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,933
Okay.
247
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,613
Reuben's gonna be
very proud of you, Alan.
248
00:12:33,637 --> 00:12:35,114
I know. I can't wait for
him to see me in action.
249
00:12:35,138 --> 00:12:37,472
Call us for dinner.
250
00:12:37,541 --> 00:12:39,273
We'll see you later.
251
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:49,350
Can I speak with Mr...
252
00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,689
My notebook!
253
00:12:58,027 --> 00:12:59,461
Quick, where's the garbage?
254
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,663
The garbage? You
want the garbage?
255
00:13:01,731 --> 00:13:04,466
That garbage is a
matter of life or death.
256
00:13:05,469 --> 00:13:07,435
Down the hall and outside.
257
00:13:31,428 --> 00:13:33,060
Enjoy your dinner.
258
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,666
Good evening. May I help you?
259
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,235
A table for seven,
by the fireplace.
260
00:13:41,304 --> 00:13:43,404
Certainly, sir. Do you
have a reservation?
261
00:13:43,473 --> 00:13:47,141
Certainly, the name is Partridge,
as in the Partridge Family.
262
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:51,312
No! No Partridge.
263
00:13:51,381 --> 00:13:52,714
There must be some mistake.
264
00:13:52,782 --> 00:13:54,615
I don't make mistakes.
265
00:13:56,553 --> 00:13:58,953
I'm sure there's an explanation.
266
00:13:59,021 --> 00:14:01,889
Please, Mrs.
Partridge. It's my job.
267
00:14:01,958 --> 00:14:04,291
Do you know who
these people are?
268
00:14:04,361 --> 00:14:06,461
All I see is a crowd,
269
00:14:06,529 --> 00:14:08,229
without a reservation.
270
00:14:08,297 --> 00:14:10,164
This is the Partridge Family.
271
00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:12,600
The group performing
at the West Winds Hotel.
272
00:14:12,669 --> 00:14:15,135
Oh, the Partridge Family.
273
00:14:15,204 --> 00:14:17,905
I enjoy your music very much.
274
00:14:17,974 --> 00:14:19,340
Then you do have a table?
275
00:14:19,409 --> 00:14:21,442
I wouldn't have a table
for the Queen of England,
276
00:14:21,511 --> 00:14:24,011
if she came in
without a reservation.
277
00:14:24,848 --> 00:14:26,781
I'll get some hamburgers.
278
00:14:30,553 --> 00:14:32,854
I just managed to
get these costumes.
279
00:14:32,922 --> 00:14:35,055
The rest will be
ready in the morning.
280
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:38,259
Boy, the fast talking I
had to do to get these.
281
00:14:38,327 --> 00:14:41,962
I went to four places until I
remembered where I left them.
282
00:14:42,031 --> 00:14:43,998
There, how do they look?
283
00:14:44,066 --> 00:14:45,066
Different.
284
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,134
Better than usual?
285
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,503
No, just different.
286
00:14:48,571 --> 00:14:51,372
As in, none of the same.
287
00:14:51,441 --> 00:14:55,009
Partridge Family, 15 minutes.
288
00:14:55,077 --> 00:14:58,045
Looks like it's
different or nothing.
289
00:14:59,015 --> 00:15:00,581
Different it is.
290
00:15:12,462 --> 00:15:13,795
♪ Did you ever read a book
291
00:15:13,863 --> 00:15:15,307
♪ That's the kind
of book you thought
292
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:18,365
♪ You'd never ever
want to put down
293
00:15:18,435 --> 00:15:20,768
♪ One good scene
just leads to another
294
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:23,938
♪ It's spinnin' your head around
295
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:26,407
♪ Longer you read
it the surer you get
296
00:15:26,476 --> 00:15:30,578
♪ That you gotta
just keep on goin'
297
00:15:30,647 --> 00:15:33,448
♪ Like gettin' an itch in
a scratch where you itch
298
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:36,283
♪ And a love that
keeps on growin'
299
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:41,489
♪ That's the way
it is with you, baby
300
00:15:41,558 --> 00:15:44,258
♪ You reach down in my soul
301
00:15:44,327 --> 00:15:46,961
♪ Turn off my control
302
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:50,865
♪ That's the way
it is with you, baby
303
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:57,572
♪ And let me be
the first one to say ♪
304
00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,207
I was just watching your
performance from the wings
305
00:16:00,276 --> 00:16:03,277
when I saw this red switch
that said, "Do Not Touch."
306
00:16:03,346 --> 00:16:05,613
Ever since I was a kid,
I've had this compulsion.
307
00:16:05,682 --> 00:16:07,949
It's all water under
the bridge now.
308
00:16:08,017 --> 00:16:10,417
If there was a bridge
near by, I'd jump off it.
309
00:16:10,487 --> 00:16:13,955
At the way things have been
going, I'd probably miss the water.
310
00:16:14,023 --> 00:16:15,623
You know, it was kind of funny.
311
00:16:15,692 --> 00:16:17,558
Oh, Alan, I just
don't understand it.
312
00:16:17,627 --> 00:16:20,127
You were doing so
well for a while there.
313
00:16:20,196 --> 00:16:22,262
All of a sudden,
everything went wrong.
314
00:16:22,331 --> 00:16:23,631
What happened?
315
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:25,800
I lost my notebook.
316
00:16:25,869 --> 00:16:27,535
That's it?
317
00:16:27,604 --> 00:16:29,971
I had written everything down
that Uncle Reuben taught me.
318
00:16:30,039 --> 00:16:32,840
But, when I saw that garbage
truck crush my notebook,
319
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,842
my life flashed before my eyes.
320
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,577
Why didn't you tell us?
321
00:16:36,646 --> 00:16:38,446
I thought maybe I
could bluff my way along.
322
00:16:38,481 --> 00:16:40,180
You were all so proud of me.
323
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,782
But you were wrong.
324
00:16:41,851 --> 00:16:44,218
I might as well take the
first bus to Uncle Zorba.
325
00:16:44,286 --> 00:16:47,655
Who knows, maybe
demolition derby is my niche.
326
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:56,764
We can't let him run off to the
demolition derby in that state of mind.
327
00:16:56,833 --> 00:16:59,901
Well, let's face it, he's not
cut out to be a manager.
328
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:05,006
Well, as much as I hate
to admit it, Danny's right.
329
00:17:05,074 --> 00:17:06,807
He must be good at something.
330
00:17:06,876 --> 00:17:08,743
Well, yeah, flooding kitchens.
331
00:17:08,811 --> 00:17:10,878
And mixing up costumes.
332
00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:12,880
And making people laugh.
333
00:17:13,850 --> 00:17:15,983
That's not a bad idea.
334
00:17:19,856 --> 00:17:22,657
What's not a bad idea?
335
00:17:22,725 --> 00:17:24,859
I don't know.
But, whatever it is,
336
00:17:24,928 --> 00:17:27,929
remember, I'm the
one who thought of it.
337
00:17:29,599 --> 00:17:32,199
And Skizzy had these
twin dolphins on his chest...
338
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:34,234
Shirley.
339
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,403
Is this some kind of a joke?
340
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:37,939
What do you mean?
341
00:17:38,007 --> 00:17:40,641
I mean, Alan's name
on that marquee outside.
342
00:17:40,710 --> 00:17:42,777
Right, he's making
his public debut tonight.
343
00:17:42,845 --> 00:17:46,681
Debut? As what? A
public failure, what?
344
00:17:48,384 --> 00:17:50,818
Don't look at me.
It wasn't my idea.
345
00:17:53,590 --> 00:17:55,756
Reuben, he's going
to do his comedy act.
346
00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,027
He gets nervous just waking
up in the morning, Shirley.
347
00:18:00,096 --> 00:18:01,996
With Alan on stage...
348
00:18:02,065 --> 00:18:03,965
No, you can't go
through with this.
349
00:18:04,033 --> 00:18:07,267
Look, this maybe his one
chance to succeed at something.
350
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,236
I think he can do it
and I don't want you
351
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,205
to let him know that
you have doubts.
352
00:18:11,273 --> 00:18:12,406
Doubts?
353
00:18:12,475 --> 00:18:14,541
I don't have doubts.
354
00:18:14,611 --> 00:18:16,978
I have fear, Shirley.
355
00:18:18,247 --> 00:18:19,446
Come in.
356
00:18:21,918 --> 00:18:24,619
Alan, hi.
357
00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:28,222
Well, say, I see you're
making your debut tonight.
358
00:18:28,290 --> 00:18:29,724
I guess so.
359
00:18:29,792 --> 00:18:31,952
Are you sure this is such a
good idea, Mrs. Partridge?
360
00:18:31,995 --> 00:18:33,828
I'm sure.
361
00:18:33,896 --> 00:18:36,497
You think I'll fall flat on my
face, don't you, Uncle Reuben?
362
00:18:36,565 --> 00:18:37,698
Well...
363
00:18:39,002 --> 00:18:40,801
No! No!
364
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:45,706
As a matter of fact, I think you'll
go out there and knock them dead.
365
00:18:45,775 --> 00:18:46,807
You do?
366
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:48,809
Sure.
367
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,811
You'll do fine, Alan.
368
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,513
We have confidence in you.
369
00:18:52,581 --> 00:18:54,214
- Really?
- Sure.
370
00:18:54,283 --> 00:18:57,685
The worst thing that can
happen is, they don't laugh.
371
00:19:00,256 --> 00:19:01,288
Uh...
372
00:19:05,128 --> 00:19:06,128
It's time to go on.
373
00:19:06,195 --> 00:19:07,227
I can't.
374
00:19:07,296 --> 00:19:08,362
You can do it.
375
00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:09,430
I can't.
376
00:19:09,498 --> 00:19:10,965
You'll do fine.
377
00:19:11,034 --> 00:19:12,633
I can't.
378
00:19:12,702 --> 00:19:15,402
Uh... Remember,
the demolition derby?
379
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,472
Introduce me.
380
00:19:26,482 --> 00:19:28,615
Thank you.
381
00:19:28,685 --> 00:19:31,451
Thank you very
much. Good evening.
382
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:34,822
We have what I think is a very
special treat for you this evening.
383
00:19:34,891 --> 00:19:37,591
A bright new star
on the horizon.
384
00:19:37,660 --> 00:19:40,761
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Alan Kincaid.
385
00:19:42,865 --> 00:19:44,364
It'll be great.
386
00:19:50,139 --> 00:19:51,638
I knew it.
387
00:19:51,708 --> 00:19:53,708
Well, at least he gave it a try.
388
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:56,343
Wait, I think he's
going to say something.
389
00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:58,879
He's closing his eyes.
390
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:01,348
He's going to faint.
391
00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:04,484
Before I start, there's a
few things I'd like to clear up.
392
00:20:04,553 --> 00:20:06,520
Starting with my face.
393
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,290
Really, I don't mean that.
394
00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:12,304
It's just a technique I
use to let you people know
395
00:20:12,328 --> 00:20:16,197
that I'm aware that I'm pretty
young to be doing this sort of thing.
396
00:20:16,265 --> 00:20:19,767
In fact, the thing people
comment on the most,
397
00:20:19,836 --> 00:20:22,002
after they've seen me perform,
398
00:20:22,071 --> 00:20:26,540
aside from the total lack of humor
among young people, is my age.
399
00:20:26,609 --> 00:20:28,976
I'm 18 and my
name is Alan Kincaid.
400
00:20:29,045 --> 00:20:31,846
I'm here to entertain you for
the next five or ten minutes.
401
00:20:31,914 --> 00:20:34,048
It'll only seem like an hour.
402
00:20:35,852 --> 00:20:37,718
All my life I've been a failure
403
00:20:37,787 --> 00:20:41,889
and it shouldn't surprise me
because failures run in my family.
404
00:20:41,958 --> 00:20:44,558
An ancestor of mine
was an incredible failure.
405
00:20:44,627 --> 00:20:47,228
He was social
director at the Alamo.
406
00:20:50,233 --> 00:20:51,866
Well, Reuben,
look at it this way.
407
00:20:51,934 --> 00:20:55,169
You haven't lost an assistant,
you've gained a client.
408
00:21:17,626 --> 00:21:21,161
♪ Woke up this
mornin' feelin' fine
409
00:21:21,230 --> 00:21:25,031
♪ I felt somethin'
special on my mind
410
00:21:25,101 --> 00:21:30,036
♪ Last night I met a new
girl in the neighborhood
411
00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:36,343
♪ Somethin' tells me
I'm into somethin' good
412
00:21:36,412 --> 00:21:40,514
♪ Somethin' tells me
I'm into somethin' good
413
00:21:40,583 --> 00:21:43,950
♪ She's the kind of
girl who's not too shy
414
00:21:44,019 --> 00:21:47,687
♪ And I can tell
I'm her kind of guy
415
00:21:47,756 --> 00:21:52,926
♪ She danced close with
me like I hoped she would
416
00:21:52,995 --> 00:21:55,329
♪ Whoa, whoa, yeah
417
00:21:55,397 --> 00:21:59,199
♪ Somethin' tells me
I'm into somethin' good
418
00:21:59,268 --> 00:22:03,069
♪ Somethin' tells
me I'm into somethin'
419
00:22:03,139 --> 00:22:06,273
♪ We only danced
for a minute or two
420
00:22:06,342 --> 00:22:10,977
♪ And then she stuck close
to me the whole night through
421
00:22:11,046 --> 00:22:14,281
♪ I must be fallin' in love
422
00:22:14,350 --> 00:22:17,284
♪ She's everything
I've been dreamin' of
423
00:22:17,353 --> 00:22:20,854
♪ She's everything
I've been dreamin' of
424
00:22:20,922 --> 00:22:24,658
♪ I walked her home
and she held my hand
425
00:22:24,726 --> 00:22:28,595
♪ I knew it couldn't
be just a one-night stand
426
00:22:28,664 --> 00:22:33,099
♪ I asked to see her next
week and she told me she would
427
00:22:36,071 --> 00:22:39,806
♪ Somethin' tells me
I'm into somethin' good
428
00:22:39,875 --> 00:22:43,644
♪ Somethin' tells
me I'm into somethin'
429
00:22:54,690 --> 00:22:58,692
♪ She's everything
I've been dreamin' of
430
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,095
♪ Woke up this
mornin' feelin' fine
431
00:23:02,164 --> 00:23:05,965
♪ Felt somethin'
special on my mind
432
00:23:06,034 --> 00:23:11,004
♪ Last night I met a new
girl in the neighborhood
433
00:23:11,073 --> 00:23:13,574
♪ Oh, oh, yeah
434
00:23:13,642 --> 00:23:17,211
♪ Somethin' tells me
I'm into somethin' good
435
00:23:17,279 --> 00:23:20,947
♪ Somethin' keeps telling
me Somethin' keeps telling me
436
00:23:21,016 --> 00:23:24,818
♪ Somethin' tells me
I'm into somethin' good
437
00:23:24,886 --> 00:23:28,455
♪ Somethin' keeps telling
me Somethin' keeps telling me
438
00:23:28,524 --> 00:23:32,459
♪ Somethin' tells me
I'm into somethin' good
439
00:23:32,528 --> 00:23:37,997
♪ Somethin' keeps telling
me Somethin' good ♪
440
00:23:41,069 --> 00:23:43,709
I really want to thank you so
much for helping me, Mrs. Partridge.
441
00:23:43,772 --> 00:23:45,071
It was a pleasure, Alan.
442
00:23:45,140 --> 00:23:47,541
Sure, having the kitchen
flooded was great fun.
443
00:23:49,411 --> 00:23:52,346
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
The kitchen's all right.
444
00:23:52,414 --> 00:23:54,581
Thank goodness it didn't warp.
445
00:23:54,650 --> 00:23:55,982
What are you going to do now?
446
00:23:56,051 --> 00:23:58,263
Well, Uncle Reuben has
booked me in the Lido Club.
447
00:23:58,287 --> 00:24:00,019
The Lido Club?
448
00:24:00,088 --> 00:24:02,789
Isn't that the lounge
at the bowling alley?
449
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:04,924
He's got to start somewhere.
450
00:24:04,993 --> 00:24:09,229
Sure and if they don't like me, I
can pick up some money setting pins.
451
00:24:09,298 --> 00:24:11,376
You know, Alan, I think
you're gonna do all right.
452
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,501
Well, if I fail at being a comedian,
I can always be your assistant.
453
00:24:14,570 --> 00:24:16,069
Right, Uncle Reuben?
454
00:24:17,239 --> 00:24:19,473
Let me put it this way, Alan.
455
00:24:19,541 --> 00:24:22,376
How do you feel about
the demolition derby?
456
00:24:25,614 --> 00:24:26,880
He's joking.
33351
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