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1
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:12,944
♪ Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'
2
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,446
♪ Come on, get happy
3
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:21,352
♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
4
00:00:21,421 --> 00:00:23,922
♪ We'll make you happy
5
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:28,994
♪ We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together
6
00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:32,530
♪ And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on
7
00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:35,834
♪ Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together
8
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:39,171
♪ We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song
9
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:43,358
♪ Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'
10
00:00:43,427 --> 00:00:47,645
♪ Come on, get happy
11
00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:51,867
♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
12
00:00:51,936 --> 00:00:55,237
♪ We'll make you happy
13
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:58,674
♪ We'll make you happy
14
00:00:58,742 --> 00:01:01,509
♪ We'll make you happy ♪
15
00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:16,057
Look, I like sociology. I just
think it should be more human,
16
00:01:16,126 --> 00:01:17,126
more intimate.
17
00:01:19,396 --> 00:01:21,329
More lips. Who is that?
18
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:23,799
Dory Kimmel.
19
00:01:23,868 --> 00:01:25,567
She was a late
register last Friday,
20
00:01:25,636 --> 00:01:27,469
while you were at the dentist.
21
00:01:27,538 --> 00:01:28,570
Oh, yeah?
22
00:01:30,073 --> 00:01:32,051
Wait a minute, wait a
minute. Wait a minute, please.
23
00:01:32,075 --> 00:01:33,942
Before you all get settled down,
24
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:37,880
I want you to form two
lines in front of my desk.
25
00:01:37,948 --> 00:01:40,782
I want the males, that's
the guys, on this side,
26
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:44,085
and the females
over here. Come on.
27
00:01:44,154 --> 00:01:47,055
Two lines. Nice and straight.
28
00:01:50,293 --> 00:01:54,963
Now, as you know, this
semester's project is violence.
29
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:58,099
And I thought it might be
interesting to observe this
30
00:01:58,168 --> 00:02:00,402
from the point of
view of both sexes.
31
00:02:00,470 --> 00:02:03,238
So, I want each of you to
step up and pick a number
32
00:02:03,306 --> 00:02:05,306
from the box at
the front of your line,
33
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,142
and those who pick
the same numbers
34
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,477
will be partners on the project.
35
00:02:09,547 --> 00:02:10,879
Now, come on, come on. Pick.
36
00:02:22,325 --> 00:02:24,125
What number did you get? Three.
37
00:02:24,194 --> 00:02:26,261
What did you get?
38
00:02:26,329 --> 00:02:28,430
Four. You didn't get
number three, did you?
39
00:02:28,498 --> 00:02:29,998
No.
40
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,787
But I think Feder
got number three.
41
00:02:33,270 --> 00:02:35,771
Four? Number four?
42
00:02:35,839 --> 00:02:38,006
Where are you, number four?
43
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,275
I think I'll go have a
little chat with Feder.
44
00:02:41,545 --> 00:02:43,311
Hey, Feder, what's happening?
45
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:45,781
Cost you two tickets for
the Saturday football game.
46
00:02:45,849 --> 00:02:47,348
To find out what's happening?
47
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:50,218
No. For number
three. Dory Kimmel.
48
00:02:50,287 --> 00:02:52,365
And, uh, Barnett's already
offered me one ticket,
49
00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:53,722
but the bidding's still open.
50
00:02:53,791 --> 00:02:55,301
Now, look, man,
I'm willing to trade,
51
00:02:55,325 --> 00:02:57,037
but if you think I'm
gonna stoop to the level
52
00:02:57,061 --> 00:02:59,294
of buying a sociology partner...
53
00:02:59,362 --> 00:03:02,598
Number four? I know
you're out there, four.
54
00:03:02,666 --> 00:03:04,299
Number four?
55
00:03:05,903 --> 00:03:08,003
The seats are on
the 50-yard line.
56
00:03:08,072 --> 00:03:11,740
Hey, uh, if you're four. You better
give me a little hot dog money.
57
00:03:15,846 --> 00:03:19,180
Hey. You been following
the prices of hot dogs lately?
58
00:03:29,326 --> 00:03:33,028
Excuse me. You don't by any
chance have number three, do you?
59
00:03:33,097 --> 00:03:35,964
Gee, I hadn't really looked yet.
60
00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:38,166
Why, yes, I do.
61
00:03:38,235 --> 00:03:40,102
Well, I guess we're partners.
62
00:03:40,170 --> 00:03:41,903
Yeah, I guess we are.
63
00:03:56,419 --> 00:03:58,820
"Leeland was a Leeland
that I had never seen before,
64
00:03:58,889 --> 00:04:01,923
"deep purple bruises coloring
his face like Pop Art painting.
65
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:06,061
"While one soldier held his arms,
the other redesigned his kidneys.
66
00:04:06,130 --> 00:04:10,032
"Leeland cried out for
me, 'Porky! Porky! Porky!'"
67
00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:11,667
This might be a very good point
68
00:04:11,735 --> 00:04:13,669
for our discussion on
moral responsibility.
69
00:04:14,772 --> 00:04:16,504
I see you two are working hard.
70
00:04:16,573 --> 00:04:18,073
Want some more coffee, Dory?
71
00:04:18,142 --> 00:04:20,286
No, thank you, Mrs. Partridge.
I've got to be getting home.
72
00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:22,477
Oh, so soon? Mmm-hmm.
73
00:04:22,546 --> 00:04:25,191
You don't want to leave yet. I mean,
Leeland's about to be saved by Porky.
74
00:04:25,215 --> 00:04:27,215
He'll be saved tomorrow.
75
00:04:27,284 --> 00:04:28,361
Good night, Mrs. Partridge.
76
00:04:28,385 --> 00:04:29,517
Good night. Good night.
77
00:04:33,423 --> 00:04:34,690
How's the project going?
78
00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:36,925
Hmm?
79
00:04:36,994 --> 00:04:40,829
Oh, I said, "Dory's
quite a girl."
80
00:04:40,898 --> 00:04:43,498
Yeah. I've never
met anyone like her.
81
00:04:43,567 --> 00:04:45,734
She's beautiful, intelligent,
82
00:04:45,803 --> 00:04:48,148
and the fact that she's an older
woman doesn't really bother me either.
83
00:04:48,172 --> 00:04:50,806
Well, she's not exactly
ready for a shawl.
84
00:04:51,975 --> 00:04:54,142
Twenty-three isn't young.
85
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:56,778
She's so much more mature
than the girls I've dated.
86
00:04:56,847 --> 00:04:58,947
It makes me feel mature.
87
00:04:59,016 --> 00:05:01,216
I'm just so relaxed
when I'm around her.
88
00:05:01,284 --> 00:05:03,085
Mom, this may be the one.
89
00:05:03,153 --> 00:05:04,385
Which one?
90
00:05:04,454 --> 00:05:06,054
The one who steals
my bachelorhood.
91
00:05:06,123 --> 00:05:08,456
The one I've been
waiting for all my life.
92
00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:12,427
Keith, don't you think you're
rushing things just a bit?
93
00:05:12,495 --> 00:05:15,964
Mom, I can understand
how you feel.
94
00:05:16,033 --> 00:05:18,566
It's just a syndrome every
mother goes through when they
95
00:05:18,635 --> 00:05:21,770
realize they're no longer
the apple of their son's eye.
96
00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,539
Mom, don't you worry.
97
00:05:24,608 --> 00:05:26,942
You're still my apple.
98
00:05:27,010 --> 00:05:29,211
I'm glad to hear that.
99
00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:33,148
But, still, it looks to me like
you and Dory are just friends.
100
00:05:33,217 --> 00:05:36,384
Mom, relationships
aren't like they used to be.
101
00:05:36,453 --> 00:05:38,253
There are no strings attached.
102
00:05:38,321 --> 00:05:40,856
If we walk away, we
walk away. If we don't...
103
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,690
Well then, we don't.
104
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,827
And Dory's told you she
feels the same way about it?
105
00:05:45,896 --> 00:05:49,131
There are certain things that
aren't necessary to put into words.
106
00:05:49,199 --> 00:05:52,968
Like... two trains
on the track of love
107
00:05:53,036 --> 00:05:54,535
are bound to collide.
108
00:05:58,208 --> 00:06:03,078
♪ Now the walls took
a long time to crumble
109
00:06:03,147 --> 00:06:06,848
♪ And the jumbled
pieces of my life
110
00:06:06,917 --> 00:06:11,686
♪ Took the long way
around to come together
111
00:06:11,755 --> 00:06:15,791
♪ And then I heard
you singing your song
112
00:06:15,859 --> 00:06:20,328
♪ And I knew I'd
been living all wrong
113
00:06:20,397 --> 00:06:23,932
♪ And I couldn't
help but sing along
114
00:06:24,001 --> 00:06:28,103
♪ La-la-la La-la-la La-la-la
115
00:06:28,172 --> 00:06:30,605
♪ La-la-la-la-la
116
00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:37,679
♪ Never giving, always taking
117
00:06:37,747 --> 00:06:41,116
♪ And faking every move I made
118
00:06:41,185 --> 00:06:45,954
♪ To keep me safe
and well protected
119
00:06:46,023 --> 00:06:50,091
♪ And then I heard
you singing your song
120
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:54,395
♪ And I knew I'd
been living all wrong
121
00:06:54,464 --> 00:07:00,101
♪ And I couldn't
help but sing along
122
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:04,906
♪ Sing along ♪
La-la-la La-la-la La-la-la
123
00:07:04,975 --> 00:07:10,378
♪ La-la-la-la-la ♪
La-la-la ♪ Sing along
124
00:07:10,447 --> 00:07:13,114
♪ La-la-la La-la-la La-la-la
125
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:17,886
♪ La-la-la ♪ La-la-la
126
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:28,629
♪ I was almost down to empty
127
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:32,800
♪ And the world
looked mighty cold
128
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:36,938
♪ Then I heard you
sing a simple song
129
00:07:37,007 --> 00:07:41,309
♪ And the sun came
a-rushin' back to fill my soul
130
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:46,481
♪ La-la-la La-la-la
♪ La-la-la La-la-la
131
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:50,785
♪ La-la-la La-la-la La-la-la
132
00:07:50,854 --> 00:07:54,189
♪ La-la-la La-la-la La-la-la
133
00:07:54,258 --> 00:07:58,994
♪ La-la-la ♪ La-la-la-la
134
00:08:01,932 --> 00:08:04,132
♪ Heard you singing your song
135
00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:05,901
♪ Heard you singing your song
136
00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:08,169
♪ Heard you singing your song
137
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:09,837
♪ Heard you singing your song
138
00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:12,307
♪ Heard you singing your song
139
00:08:12,376 --> 00:08:13,808
♪ Heard you singing your song
140
00:08:13,877 --> 00:08:17,845
♪ Heard you singing your song
141
00:08:17,915 --> 00:08:25,586
♪ Your song Your
song ♪ Your song ♪
142
00:08:25,655 --> 00:08:29,090
Love it. Absolutely love it.
143
00:08:29,159 --> 00:08:30,825
Thanks, Reuben.
144
00:08:30,894 --> 00:08:33,506
Look, I gotta get going. I promised
Dory I'd meet her at 4:00 sharp.
145
00:08:33,530 --> 00:08:36,831
Well, being a few minutes
late never hurt anybody.
146
00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:40,135
Who was it who said, "The
man on time shall get the cake,
147
00:08:40,203 --> 00:08:42,904
"while the boy who
doddles is only late"?
148
00:08:42,973 --> 00:08:44,639
Betty Crocker.
149
00:08:44,707 --> 00:08:47,242
Cute. But what does your
generation know about virtues?
150
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,479
What's with Keith and
his new maturity kick?
151
00:08:51,548 --> 00:08:53,581
I mean, what about rehearsals?
152
00:08:53,650 --> 00:08:57,118
Well, we've got two choices. We
either break up Keith and his girl,
153
00:08:57,187 --> 00:08:59,454
or we break up
Keith and his legs.
154
00:08:59,522 --> 00:09:01,722
Well, I vote legs.
155
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,891
Come on, it's not that bad.
156
00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:06,161
He's thinking about
growing a mustache.
157
00:09:06,229 --> 00:09:08,663
I caught him listening
to a Dean Martin record.
158
00:09:08,731 --> 00:09:12,533
Yeah, and that aftershave
and stuff. He even smells good.
159
00:09:12,602 --> 00:09:15,437
Good? If you ask me, he
smells like the perfume counter
160
00:09:15,505 --> 00:09:17,172
at Barton's Grand Store.
161
00:09:19,242 --> 00:09:21,176
Of course, you didn't ask me.
162
00:09:23,113 --> 00:09:24,512
Well, they all said things!
163
00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:32,220
Uh, if you're not busy,
I can come back later.
164
00:09:32,289 --> 00:09:33,888
How about 1985?
165
00:09:33,957 --> 00:09:36,057
We're a little sensitive
today, aren't we?
166
00:09:36,126 --> 00:09:38,360
We are not sensitive.
167
00:09:38,428 --> 00:09:42,464
Then we wouldn't mind discussing
the girl who's changing our lives?
168
00:09:42,532 --> 00:09:44,099
Discuss?
169
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:47,135
Yeah, there's a few
unanswered questions, such as...
170
00:09:47,204 --> 00:09:48,903
Have you taken her
to Muldoon's Point?
171
00:09:48,972 --> 00:09:50,049
It's none of your business.
172
00:09:50,073 --> 00:09:51,606
You have. I have not!
173
00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:54,809
Or the lake?
174
00:09:54,878 --> 00:09:55,878
No.
175
00:09:55,945 --> 00:09:57,078
To a movie?
176
00:09:58,415 --> 00:10:00,215
Have you bought the girl a taco?
177
00:10:00,283 --> 00:10:03,184
Look, you don't just
move in on a girl like Dory.
178
00:10:03,253 --> 00:10:06,254
You mean you haven't had
the guts to ask her for a taco?
179
00:10:08,658 --> 00:10:10,825
Looks to me like the
last of the red-hot lovers
180
00:10:10,894 --> 00:10:12,960
has turned into
"Cool Hand" Luke.
181
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,729
Look, I'm gonna ask her out.
182
00:10:14,797 --> 00:10:16,464
When? On your fifth anniversary?
183
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:17,765
No, tomorrow.
184
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:20,001
As a matter of fact, I'm
gonna ask her to a lecture.
185
00:10:20,070 --> 00:10:21,202
A lecture?
186
00:10:21,271 --> 00:10:22,803
That's right, a lecture.
187
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,977
I don't care what other
people say about you,
188
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,612
you're hot stuff.
189
00:10:44,261 --> 00:10:46,094
Dory. Oh, hello, Keith.
190
00:10:46,163 --> 00:10:49,697
Hi, uh... Look, I was
wondering if you...
191
00:10:49,766 --> 00:10:51,199
I came up with a title.
192
00:10:51,268 --> 00:10:52,400
Oh, what is it?
193
00:10:52,469 --> 00:10:54,436
Violence Is as Violence Does.
194
00:10:54,504 --> 00:10:57,305
I thought we'd put a picture
of Danny on the cover.
195
00:10:57,374 --> 00:11:00,608
Look, uh, by the way, there's a
lecture tonight on War and Peace,
196
00:11:00,677 --> 00:11:03,078
and I was wondering
if... Well, if you'd like to go.
197
00:11:03,146 --> 00:11:05,780
Isn't that funny? I was going
to ask you the same thing.
198
00:11:05,848 --> 00:11:07,082
Really? Yeah.
199
00:11:07,150 --> 00:11:09,328
Well, hey, uh, I'll pick you
up around 6:30, all right?
200
00:11:09,352 --> 00:11:11,497
Oh, that won't be necessary.
I've got my car on campus.
201
00:11:11,521 --> 00:11:12,998
I'll just meet you
over at the lecture.
202
00:11:13,022 --> 00:11:14,622
Perfect. Bye-bye.
203
00:11:14,691 --> 00:11:16,157
See you. Uh-huh.
204
00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:20,928
I think the song will be all
right. Just needs a little work.
205
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:25,533
Speaking of
needing a little work.
206
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:31,172
Well, joke if you want, but
you're looking at the king.
207
00:11:31,241 --> 00:11:34,342
And all this time we thought
you were the court jester.
208
00:11:34,411 --> 00:11:36,489
I know it took me a little
time to get around to it,
209
00:11:36,513 --> 00:11:39,447
but I asked Dory out and she
practically beat me to the punch.
210
00:11:39,516 --> 00:11:41,849
And so continues the moving saga
211
00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:44,051
of Princess Dory and her frog.
212
00:11:45,422 --> 00:11:47,188
Cute, very cute.
213
00:11:47,257 --> 00:11:51,626
I wouldn't exactly call going
to a lecture a sordid love affair.
214
00:11:51,694 --> 00:11:53,428
You're taking her to a lecture?
215
00:11:53,497 --> 00:11:56,030
Face it, Keith. You're slipping.
216
00:11:56,099 --> 00:12:00,901
Danny, someday you'll meet a girl
who can tolerate you in large doses
217
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,404
and you'll begin
to mature, like me.
218
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:06,141
True love can work miracles.
219
00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:10,111
Oh, he's mature, all right.
220
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,113
And dull.
221
00:12:18,721 --> 00:12:20,054
Nothing like a lecture
222
00:12:20,123 --> 00:12:22,023
to get the old adrenaline
going. Absolutely.
223
00:12:22,091 --> 00:12:23,503
Well, why don't we have a
cup of coffee and discuss it?
224
00:12:23,527 --> 00:12:24,825
Oh, I really can't.
225
00:12:24,894 --> 00:12:25,894
You can't?
226
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:27,728
No, uh, the market
closes at 10:00
227
00:12:27,797 --> 00:12:30,276
and I've got to be there. And I
have to hurry. I'll see you tomorrow.
228
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:31,799
Good night, Keith.
229
00:12:33,303 --> 00:12:36,103
Hey, Partridge, how's it going?
230
00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:38,239
Just great.
231
00:12:38,308 --> 00:12:41,442
I see you've made the most out
of our trade for the football seats.
232
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:42,977
Oh, you noticed, huh?
233
00:12:43,046 --> 00:12:45,413
The whole class has.
234
00:12:45,482 --> 00:12:48,983
Yeah, well, I guess it is kind of
hard to hide a relationship like ours.
235
00:12:49,052 --> 00:12:50,751
That's quite a
trick for a freshman.
236
00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:51,952
Hmm?
237
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,788
You fox!
238
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:56,891
You're the only guy I know that's
involved with a married woman.
239
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:07,551
What happened? You look
like you lost your best friend.
240
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,389
I don't know how
anybody can be so dumb.
241
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:14,659
Dory's married.
242
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:17,528
Married? But...
243
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,430
But you had a date
with her tonight.
244
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,132
Are you sure she's married?
245
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:23,868
With a capital "M."
246
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:26,971
When Feder told me, I felt
like crawling underneath a rug.
247
00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:30,041
Wouldn't you know it,
the one time I fall in love.
248
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:32,143
Have you talked to her about it?
249
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:33,845
No.
250
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:36,314
But don't you
think you ought to?
251
00:13:36,382 --> 00:13:39,684
I mean, I can't understand
why she'd mislead you like that.
252
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,920
I can't either.
253
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,548
Maybe she's not
happy with her husband.
254
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,525
Keith,
255
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:51,129
is it possible you could have been
wrong about Dory's feelings all this time?
256
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:56,467
Oh, Mom. If there's one thing
I'm experienced in, it's girls.
257
00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:59,971
I wish you were right, but I can
see it in her eyes, in her gestures.
258
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,172
She's in deep.
259
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:06,177
Well, I guess there's
only one thing left to do.
260
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:08,479
You'll have to break it
off as quickly as possible.
261
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,114
Don't let it go any further.
262
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,283
I know. It's not
gonna be easy though.
263
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:18,489
She must be awfully involved
to take a chance like this.
264
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,118
I'm gonna have to
let her down gently.
265
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:23,527
Dory. Oh, hi, Keith.
266
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,296
Hi, could we talk for a minute?
267
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:28,044
Oh, but only for a minute. I've
got a history class and I'm late for it.
268
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:30,134
Yeah, uh...
269
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,614
Look, I did a lot of thinking
about the lecture last night.
270
00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:35,740
So did I, and I think it's gonna
work in beautifully with our project.
271
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,653
Well, I wasn't exactly
talking about the project.
272
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:40,111
I was thinking more about us.
273
00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:44,615
Dory, I just don't think
it's gonna work out.
274
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:46,684
Things are going so well, Keith.
275
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:50,021
I know, but I just... I think we
should call it off while we still can.
276
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,156
You're acting like a little boy.
277
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,791
I am?
278
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:56,072
Yes, when things get difficult
right in the middle of something
279
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:58,496
absolutely beautiful,
you're ready to quit.
280
00:14:58,564 --> 00:14:59,830
Yeah, but I... Look,
281
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,432
I don't have time
to discuss it now.
282
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:05,136
I'll be over tonight as usual, and
we can work it out then. Goodbye.
283
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,905
It's worse than I figured.
284
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:08,517
Didn't you
straighten things out?
285
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:09,874
She won't even talk about it.
286
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,609
I tried to let her
down gently, right?
287
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:12,710
Right. And, bam,
288
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,223
she blasts me right
between the eyes.
289
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,947
She practically
called me a chicken.
290
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:18,649
Girls have called you a lot of
names, but never "chicken."
291
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:20,551
She's crazy about me.
292
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:23,421
She won't even listen to reason.
293
00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:25,656
I knew I should have
stuck with number four.
294
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:26,925
Number four?
295
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:29,360
Oh, it's nothing.
296
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,829
What if she ditches
her husband for me?
297
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:34,799
You don't really
think she'd do that?
298
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:37,835
Why couldn't I have
been born ugly, like Danny.
299
00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:41,205
Now, wait a minute.
300
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,107
We were just passing by.
301
00:15:46,980 --> 00:15:48,579
It's okay, honey. I'll get it.
302
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:51,115
Oh, hi, Mrs. Partridge. Hi.
303
00:15:51,184 --> 00:15:52,716
Keith ready to study?
304
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,196
I just sent him on an errand.
He'll be back in a few minutes.
305
00:15:54,220 --> 00:15:56,020
Oh, I guess I am
a little bit early.
306
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,621
Hi, Dory. Oh, hi.
307
00:15:57,690 --> 00:15:58,901
Why don't you just
sit down and wait?
308
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:00,769
I was about to give Danny
a letter to mail for me.
309
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,093
Sure.
310
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:15,073
It'd help if you
put a letter inside.
311
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,841
Come on.
312
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:19,010
But...
313
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:22,146
Laurie, would you do me a favor
and run Danny down to the post office?
314
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:23,659
Post office? But
there's no letter.
315
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:25,616
You'd better hurry, it
closes in 10 minutes.
316
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:27,385
Okay.
317
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:28,831
On your way back, would
you stop at the market
318
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,388
and pick up some, uh, parsley?
319
00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:31,522
Mmm-hmm.
320
00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:39,297
Well, I guess that leaves just you
and me. Would you like some coffee?
321
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,932
No, no, thank
you, Mrs. Partridge.
322
00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:43,601
Well, since it's
just the two of us
323
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,848
it might be a good time
for us to have a little talk.
324
00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:47,738
Talk?
325
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,874
Being Keith's mother,
he hasn't always
326
00:16:49,942 --> 00:16:52,576
liked me getting involved
in his problems, but...
327
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:55,613
Well, sometimes, I feel we
get to a point where I have to,
328
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,648
and I guess we're at that point.
329
00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,450
We are?
330
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:03,921
I'm sure you realize that
marriage is a very serious business
331
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:07,392
and getting involved with Keith
wouldn't be good for either one of you.
332
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:09,160
If you are in love with him...
333
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:11,695
Me? In love with Keith?
334
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:15,099
You mean you're
not in love with him?
335
00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:19,970
Mrs. Partridge, I am
very much in love,
336
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,273
but with my husband.
337
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,775
Keith and I are friends.
We're just friends.
338
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,878
Why didn't you tell
him you were married?
339
00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:30,114
Well, I just assumed
everyone knew.
340
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,016
Everyone knows in
all my other classes.
341
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:34,952
I had no idea what was
going on in Keith's mind.
342
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:37,355
The only involvement
I have with Keith is
343
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,924
with our sociology project.
344
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:43,694
You mean, this whole thing
was built up in Keith's head.
345
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:46,664
I'm afraid so, Mrs.
Partridge. But I...
346
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:49,133
I can see how he misunderstood.
347
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,969
Well, it's not your fault.
348
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:55,373
But how do we tell him
without hurting his feelings?
349
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,442
If I tell him, he'll
know I talked to you
350
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:59,710
and he won't be
able to face you.
351
00:17:59,779 --> 00:18:02,724
I can't very well go to him and say,
"Keith, you've made a fool of yourself
352
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:05,983
"ever since we've met." That
would make him feel worse.
353
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:11,556
Mom, Dory just called and invited me
over for dinner. What am I gonna do?
354
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:14,425
Well, mind your manners
and eat all your vegetables.
355
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:17,373
Mom, you don't understand. She
probably wants me to confront her husband.
356
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:19,508
Or even worse, she might have
already told her husband about you
357
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,432
and there isn't going
to be any dinner.
358
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,145
Keith, you better call
her back and cancel.
359
00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:24,335
Right. No.
360
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:25,769
Why not?
361
00:18:25,838 --> 00:18:28,150
Look, this may be the way to
straighten this whole thing out.
362
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:31,075
Yeah. And if you don't
show, it'll look bad.
363
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:34,645
Besides, if he wants, he can always
come over here and beat you up.
364
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:38,583
Keith, there is a possibility that
they're just asking you over for dinner.
365
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:41,919
Yeah, but there's a better possibility
he'll grind me into a Swedish meatball.
366
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:45,423
Yeah? Well, I wouldn't let him take
advantage of your situation like that.
367
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:48,959
Just a minute,
somebody's at the door.
368
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:54,999
Hi, I'm Keith Partridge.
369
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:58,169
So, I finally get to see what you
look like. I'm Glenn, Dory's husband.
370
00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,804
Come on in, will you? I
got somebody on the phone.
371
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:07,245
Look, Herb, if I was you,
I'd push that guy's face in.
372
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:08,513
You're right!
373
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,217
Ah, sorry about that,
but you know how it is.
374
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,853
Some guys, they really
make you wanna...
375
00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:17,755
I was afraid of that.
376
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:19,568
Look, Dory went out to the
market to get some cheese,
377
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:21,492
so it's just you and
me till she gets back.
378
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,227
Terrific. Now,
come on. Sit down.
379
00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:25,464
Okay.
380
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:30,000
So, how do you like
my wife as a partner?
381
00:19:30,069 --> 00:19:31,069
Huh?
382
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:33,638
The sociology project.
383
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:37,608
Oh, well, uh, Dory's
a very hard worker
384
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,377
and I'm a firm
believer in hard work.
385
00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:41,612
As far as studies
are concerned, that is.
386
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,447
I guess you'd call
me a bookworm.
387
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,816
You don't look like a bookworm.
388
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:47,485
Oh, but I am.
389
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,487
I'm a worm through and through.
390
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,800
Sometimes I even wake up
at dawn to read encyclopedias.
391
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,457
I love to learn.
392
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:57,995
Well, from what I've heard, it's
more like you've learned to love.
393
00:19:58,064 --> 00:20:01,299
I hear you got quite a
reputation with the girls.
394
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:04,101
Reputation? Must be
some other Keith Partridge.
395
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:06,470
No, no. You're the one.
396
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:11,842
Sir, I admit I have
a reputation, but
397
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,811
a reputation is all it is.
398
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,280
It's just sometimes
not my fault.
399
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:17,548
What's not your fault?
400
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:22,720
Well, sometimes the other
person gets involved and...
401
00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:26,490
You wanna get out, even
though you're not really in.
402
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:29,827
That other person just
doesn't understand that.
403
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,329
So, it's just not
that easy to...
404
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:34,365
Hey, look. You like sports?
405
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,100
Sports, yeah, I like sports.
406
00:20:36,168 --> 00:20:39,303
Good. Let's talk about
tennis. It's a lot simpler.
407
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:43,841
Oh, hi, Keith.
408
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,676
How are you two getting along?
409
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,511
I'm not sure.
410
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,046
Hello. Hi.
411
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,015
Well, let's eat.
412
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,351
Great.
413
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:58,055
There we go. Thank you.
414
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:00,391
Oh, looks good.
415
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:01,492
Oh, why, thank you.
416
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,361
Dory's a great cook.
417
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:04,495
Sit down, Keith.
418
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:06,397
Thank you.
419
00:21:06,466 --> 00:21:09,345
From the moment I tasted her spaghetti,
I knew we were destined to get married.
420
00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:11,535
No, we were
destined to be married
421
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:16,374
from the moment I changed the place cards
at that party so I could sit next to you.
422
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,242
Romance is like that, I guess.
423
00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:20,511
Are you gonna
get married, Keith?
424
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:23,447
Oh, uh... someday,
I suppose, yeah.
425
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:26,350
Well, I highly recommend it.
426
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:31,589
I can see that.
427
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,123
The show is over.
428
00:21:33,192 --> 00:21:36,226
Who cares about the show?
We wanna see Keith beat up.
429
00:21:36,296 --> 00:21:39,129
Nothing is going to
happen to Keith. Off to bed.
430
00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:40,798
You'll understand
when you're my age.
431
00:21:40,866 --> 00:21:43,467
Although I'm my age,
and I don't understand it.
432
00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:47,772
Well, good evening.
433
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,607
So where's your black eye?
434
00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:51,442
You even have your
Howdy Doody grin.
435
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:54,478
How'd it go, honey?
436
00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:55,879
Smooth as silk.
437
00:21:55,948 --> 00:21:57,147
It did?
438
00:21:57,216 --> 00:21:58,683
You should've
seen the kid at work.
439
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:00,050
Oh, they had a few problems,
440
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,919
but I got them to talk it out
441
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:04,588
and showed them that the
key to marriage is giving.
442
00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:05,756
I'm going to sleep.
443
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:07,858
Me, too.
444
00:22:07,927 --> 00:22:11,962
Yeah, but in the end, I had to
sacrifice myself for what was best.
445
00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:15,733
I felt a little like Bogie
at the end of Casablanca.
446
00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:18,001
Well, good night.
447
00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:21,271
Hot stuff.
448
00:22:21,341 --> 00:22:23,307
Don't you want to hear the rest?
449
00:22:24,944 --> 00:22:26,477
That's the trouble with America.
450
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:29,112
Nobody appreciates
simple eloquence.
451
00:22:29,181 --> 00:22:30,314
Mom, I was brilliant.
452
00:22:30,383 --> 00:22:33,083
Well, then you did
eat all your vegetables.
453
00:22:45,230 --> 00:22:48,532
♪ I'm not afraid of the dark
454
00:22:48,601 --> 00:22:52,202
♪ And I like to go
for rides in the park
455
00:22:52,271 --> 00:22:55,205
♪ I know I got a big start
456
00:22:55,274 --> 00:22:59,109
♪ 'Cause I've got
a secret in my heart
457
00:22:59,178 --> 00:23:02,613
♪ Since I got real big
458
00:23:02,682 --> 00:23:05,649
♪ I've learned
some important things
459
00:23:05,718 --> 00:23:09,453
♪ It doesn't matter
if you don't know how
460
00:23:09,521 --> 00:23:12,990
♪ You gotta keep pushing
that plow, and that's why
461
00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:16,393
♪ I'm not afraid of the dark
462
00:23:16,462 --> 00:23:20,030
♪ And I like to go
for rides in the park
463
00:23:20,099 --> 00:23:23,133
♪ I know I got a big start
464
00:23:23,202 --> 00:23:26,937
♪ 'Cause I've got
a secret in my heart
465
00:23:34,313 --> 00:23:37,615
♪ I'm not afraid of the dark
466
00:23:37,683 --> 00:23:41,118
♪ And I like to go
for rides in the park
467
00:23:41,186 --> 00:23:44,121
♪ I know I got a big start
468
00:23:44,189 --> 00:23:49,526
♪ 'Cause I've got a
secret in my heart ♪
469
00:23:59,639 --> 00:24:01,538
Well, hi, Reuben.
What brings you here?
470
00:24:01,607 --> 00:24:02,684
I need to talk to your mother.
471
00:24:02,708 --> 00:24:04,207
What is it, Reuben?
472
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:07,477
Shirley, I have found out
something, and it is a bombshell.
473
00:24:07,546 --> 00:24:09,146
What?
474
00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:12,816
Uh, this girl that Keith's been
seeing, this Dory what's-her-name.
475
00:24:12,885 --> 00:24:16,319
I just found out she's married.
476
00:24:16,388 --> 00:24:18,555
You don't say.
477
00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:22,893
I do say, Shirley, yes, and we
have to do something about this Dory.
478
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:25,629
Reuben, did I hear
you mention Dory?
479
00:24:25,698 --> 00:24:29,332
Keith, get out
before it's too late.
480
00:24:29,401 --> 00:24:32,703
Reuben, it's already too late.
481
00:24:32,772 --> 00:24:34,371
Oh, no!
482
00:24:34,439 --> 00:24:36,974
Yeah, her husband came
after me with a shotgun.
483
00:24:37,043 --> 00:24:39,609
A shotgun? What happened?
484
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:42,445
He killed me.
34951
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