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00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:12,928
♪ Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'
2
00:00:12,996 --> 00:00:17,166
♪ Come on, get happy
3
00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:21,403
♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
4
00:00:21,472 --> 00:00:24,406
♪ We'll make you happy
5
00:00:25,709 --> 00:00:29,244
♪ We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together
6
00:00:29,312 --> 00:00:32,631
♪ And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on
7
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:35,834
♪ Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together
8
00:00:35,902 --> 00:00:39,137
♪ We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song
9
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:42,541
♪ Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'
10
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:45,928
♪ Come on, get happy
11
00:00:47,747 --> 00:00:51,065
♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
12
00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:54,403
♪ We'll make you happy
13
00:00:55,372 --> 00:00:57,823
♪ We'll make you happy
14
00:00:58,742 --> 00:01:02,144
♪ We'll make you happy ♪
15
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,450
Where's Laurie?
16
00:01:09,519 --> 00:01:11,153
She hasn't come
in from school yet.
17
00:01:11,221 --> 00:01:13,388
Terrific. She always
beats me home
18
00:01:13,456 --> 00:01:15,157
except when I
have to talk to her.
19
00:01:17,895 --> 00:01:19,261
Hi, kids. How's everything?
20
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:20,495
Hi, Mom. Hi, Mom.
21
00:01:20,563 --> 00:01:22,063
Have you seen
Laurie? Not exactly.
22
00:01:22,132 --> 00:01:23,564
Her picture's in the paper.
23
00:01:23,633 --> 00:01:25,533
Today's the first day of
her newspaper column.
24
00:01:25,602 --> 00:01:27,535
Her own weekly column.
25
00:01:27,604 --> 00:01:29,737
Just think of the
publicity potential.
26
00:01:29,807 --> 00:01:31,639
Why does she look like a negro?
27
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,109
You smeared the ink, dummy.
28
00:01:36,379 --> 00:01:37,612
- Hi.
- Hi.
29
00:01:37,681 --> 00:01:39,047
Hi, Ricky. Hi.
30
00:01:39,116 --> 00:01:42,083
Hi, honey. Congratulations.
31
00:01:42,152 --> 00:01:44,152
First column appeared in print.
32
00:01:44,221 --> 00:01:47,322
Oh, really? I'd forgotten
it was coming out today.
33
00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:48,924
You forgot?
34
00:01:48,992 --> 00:01:51,592
When did you start
the paper route?
35
00:01:51,661 --> 00:01:55,297
Okay, so I picked up a few
copies for my scrapbook.
36
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,798
A few copies?
37
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,377
If you got this many
copies of "Life,"
38
00:01:58,401 --> 00:02:00,535
they'd still be in business.
39
00:02:00,603 --> 00:02:02,503
Stop teasing her.
Not every teenager
40
00:02:02,572 --> 00:02:03,972
gets a column in the town paper.
41
00:02:04,007 --> 00:02:05,606
You should be proud.
42
00:02:05,675 --> 00:02:07,909
Laurie, I'm proud of you.
Did you talk to Dina Firmley?
43
00:02:07,978 --> 00:02:09,845
What's your column about?
44
00:02:09,913 --> 00:02:13,915
Well, kids write me questions
about various things, you know,
45
00:02:13,984 --> 00:02:17,052
politics, ecology, and
I try and answer them.
46
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,254
Do they write you about sex?
47
00:02:19,323 --> 00:02:21,656
Uh, speaking of sex, Did
you talk to Dina Firmley?
48
00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:23,524
I think you should
talk to her yourself.
49
00:02:23,593 --> 00:02:25,727
I tried. She won't have
anything to do with me.
50
00:02:25,795 --> 00:02:27,562
Who is this Dina Firmley?
51
00:02:27,630 --> 00:02:29,430
She's a new girl in school.
52
00:02:29,499 --> 00:02:31,311
Why won't she have
anything to do with you?
53
00:02:31,335 --> 00:02:35,070
She's heard about
his reputation with girls.
54
00:02:35,138 --> 00:02:37,438
What's wrong with my reputation?
55
00:02:37,507 --> 00:02:40,275
Keith, your fingerprints
are on file with the PTA.
56
00:02:42,179 --> 00:02:43,611
Those are vicious rumors.
57
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,047
You know, I'd like to find
out who's telling her all...
58
00:02:48,285 --> 00:02:51,586
You? I only told the truth.
59
00:02:51,654 --> 00:02:54,489
You've turned on me? My
own sister, flesh of my flesh,
60
00:02:54,557 --> 00:02:55,991
blood of my blood?
61
00:02:56,059 --> 00:02:57,359
That's right, Keith.
62
00:02:57,427 --> 00:03:00,962
I've been spreading
malicious truths about you.
63
00:03:01,031 --> 00:03:02,976
You could have talked
her into going out with me,
64
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,933
but, no, you shot me down.
65
00:03:06,069 --> 00:03:07,502
I'm not gonna
forget this, Laurie.
66
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:11,172
Honey, don't worry about it.
67
00:03:11,241 --> 00:03:13,574
He's mad now,
but he'll get over it.
68
00:03:13,643 --> 00:03:15,877
Oh, I wasn't thinking of Keith.
69
00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,545
It's my picture.
70
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,414
I look like Al Jolson.
71
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:37,783
"I'm 17, male, and new in town.
72
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:40,552
"I'm an orphan with
no friends or relatives.
73
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:43,955
"I'm living on a tar-paper
shack on the edge of town.
74
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:46,324
"Life has lost all
meaning for me.
75
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,393
"What am I going
to do with myself?"
76
00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:50,128
Signed, "Onely."
77
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:52,698
Onely?
78
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:56,467
That's "Lonely." My typewriter
sometimes skips the capital "L."
79
00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:58,848
Now, that's the letter you're
going to mail to Laurie?
80
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,439
I don't get it. How is
that going to get even?
81
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,709
All part of my
master plan, Danny.
82
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:05,143
Not only will I get even,
83
00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:07,412
but Laurie's going to fix
me up with Dina Firmely.
84
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,880
Gosh!
85
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,916
Danny, how would
you describe Laurie?
86
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,217
A bleeding-heart liberal.
87
00:04:12,285 --> 00:04:14,186
Exactly. And what will she do
88
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:17,555
when she reads this letter from
this poor, sad, lonesome guy?
89
00:04:17,624 --> 00:04:19,490
Cry her bleeding,
liberal heart out.
90
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:21,727
And she'll want to
do something for him.
91
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,528
If she asked my opinion,
92
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,764
I'd tell her, "If Lonely
wouldn't be lonesome,
93
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,333
"if he met a girl
like Dina Firmley."
94
00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:30,268
Only one problem.
95
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:31,837
Laurie hasn't asked your opinion
96
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:33,338
for anything in her whole life.
97
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:35,640
Danny.
98
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,342
With the proper handling,
99
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:41,880
she'll get my opinion,
and never know it.
100
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,799
Hi. Uh, what you doing?
101
00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,802
Oh, I'm picking out
letters for my column.
102
00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:07,305
Meaningless life,
poverty, friendless. Hmm.
103
00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:09,352
Guess it's not a letter
from the optimist club, huh.
104
00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:11,409
It's from a guy named Onely.
105
00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:15,580
He probably meant "lonely."
106
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:17,682
Oh, yeah, I guess you're right.
107
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:21,086
Gosh, the poor guy can't
even afford to fix his "L."
108
00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:23,321
Oh, forget it. It's
probably a crank.
109
00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:24,956
Forget it?
110
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,292
Keith, how could
you be so heartless?
111
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,920
Well, you obviously
know nothing about
112
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,728
human passion and loneliness.
113
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:32,408
Well, according to the
rumors going around,
114
00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:34,399
I'm an expert on passion.
115
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:37,002
And, thanks to you, I'm
working on the loneliness.
116
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,503
I'm serious.
117
00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,839
This guy has sent me
two letters this week.
118
00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:44,276
He keeps saying how
lonely and destitute he is.
119
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,189
I'm afraid he's going to
do something desperate,
120
00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:48,780
but I don't know
what to do about it.
121
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,282
Well, if the guy's for real,
122
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,083
the solution to his
problem is simple.
123
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,651
I mean, look at his letter.
124
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,721
Loneliness, needs a
friend, no one to care for.
125
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:58,223
The guy needs a friend.
126
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,859
You know, you're right.
127
00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:03,628
If I could get Lonely
to meet somebody...
128
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,800
I've got the perfect
person, Bruce.
129
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,836
Bruce?
130
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,704
Laurie, a guy who
writes "No one to care for"
131
00:06:12,772 --> 00:06:14,272
isn't looking for a Bruce.
132
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:15,785
I mean, come on, you
must know some girl
133
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,009
who has something
in common with him.
134
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:21,612
I've got a great
idea! Dina Firmley.
135
00:06:21,681 --> 00:06:23,159
Why, she's just
gone through all that.
136
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:24,415
Of course! It's perfect!
137
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:25,750
Why didn't I think of that?
138
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,485
Yeah, well, she's sympathetic,
139
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,588
understanding, easy to talk to.
140
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:32,423
I wouldn't know.
She won't talk to me.
141
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:34,292
She also has taste.
142
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,028
But I can't do it.
143
00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:38,163
What?
144
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:39,797
Well, I don't know the guy.
145
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:42,334
What if he turned out
to be a real weirdo?
146
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,237
No. No, I'd have
to meet him first.
147
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:46,537
Well, you can't.
148
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,506
I mean, what if
this guy is a weirdo?
149
00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:50,041
What kind of a
brother would I be
150
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,176
if I let you meet him?
151
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,444
No, no, no. This is a man's job.
152
00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:54,913
I'll take care of it.
153
00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:57,048
You'd do a favor for me?
154
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,852
Well, laugh if you want,
155
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,720
but if there's a
lonely soul out there
156
00:07:02,789 --> 00:07:06,424
that I could help, and didn't...
157
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,326
I don't think I
could sleep nights.
158
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:12,197
Well... Well, thank you.
159
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,299
Thank you for the offer.
160
00:07:14,368 --> 00:07:15,511
But you'll never find him.
161
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:18,803
He didn't leave
a return address.
162
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:21,006
Well, look, he says he
lives on the edge of town
163
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,407
in a tar-paper shack, right?
164
00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:24,109
How many tar-paper
shacks are there?
165
00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:26,577
And this town's so small,
there's very little edge.
166
00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:29,047
Don't worry. I'll find him.
167
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:33,151
Keith, I really appreciate you
helping me like this. Thanks.
168
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:36,021
Laurie, I don't
want your thanks.
169
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:38,056
If I can get these
two people together,
170
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,592
believe me, you'll never
know how good I'll feel inside.
171
00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,734
Oh, did you have any luck?
172
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,036
Well,
173
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:54,539
I drove for hours,
and I finally found him.
174
00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:56,774
There he was,
outside of his old shack,
175
00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,810
planting forget-me-nots.
176
00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:00,678
Even his flowers are lonely.
177
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:01,980
Poor guy.
178
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:03,815
Well, what's he like?
179
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:06,351
Well, he's very shy.
180
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:09,220
But he's the nicest,
warmest human being
181
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:12,490
I've ever met in my entire life.
182
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:14,926
He reminded me of
St. Francis of Assisi.
183
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,263
Well, do you think I should arrange
for him to meet Dina Firmley?
184
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,068
Well, she probably
doesn't deserve it,
185
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,770
but, he certainly does.
186
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,650
I tell you, you'd love
him like a brother.
187
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,807
Oh, that's great. That's great.
188
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,576
I'll answer his
letter right away
189
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:33,078
so it'll get in my next column.
190
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,191
Could I use your typewriter?
It'd save me a lot of time.
191
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,781
Help yourself. I want to see
192
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,490
these two together
as soon as possible.
193
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,252
Thank you, Keith.
194
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:53,331
"Dear Onely"?
195
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,069
Dear Onely!
196
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:00,838
I'll kill him.
197
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,309
Keith Partridge!
198
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,213
Where are you, dear brother?
199
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:11,749
He went to play basketball
with Ralph and Skizzy.
200
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:13,118
What's wrong?
201
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,998
Remember those letters
I was telling you about.
202
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:17,122
From Mr. Onely Lonely? Yes.
203
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:20,458
Well, guess whose
typewriter skips the capital "L."
204
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:23,461
When I get him, I'm gonna
choke the "L" out of him!
205
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:26,364
Calm down. Why would
Keith do a thing like that?
206
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:35,373
I see a pair of
guilty-looking feet.
207
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:42,680
Who, me? I didn't do anything.
208
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,782
But you know what's going on.
209
00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:46,617
I'm no stool pigeon.
210
00:09:46,686 --> 00:09:48,764
There's nothing you can
do that will make me talk.
211
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,288
Danny.
212
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:56,027
And that's why Keith is writing
those "Mr. Lonely" letters.
213
00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:58,874
I can't believe
Keith would come up
214
00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:00,731
with a rotten scheme like that.
215
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,467
It's absolutely clever.
216
00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:04,835
Yeah, I hate to stifle
creative thinking,
217
00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:07,939
especially in Keith's case,
because it's the first time.
218
00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:09,840
What are you going to do?
219
00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:12,243
Oh, I'm just gonna put him
on, make him sweat a little.
220
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:13,844
You're both welcome to join in.
221
00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:15,846
Love to.
222
00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:18,116
Well, it's for his own good.
223
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,584
Every artist has to suffer.
224
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:21,519
Now, could I cheat
him out of that?
225
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,456
I do think he deserves it,
226
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,691
if you don't go too far.
227
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:30,195
- Hi, everybody.
- Hi.
228
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:31,629
Where's the paper? Right here.
229
00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:32,730
Why?
230
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:35,300
Well, I know your
column came out today,
231
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:36,501
and I want to read it.
232
00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,770
I'm so proud of
you, I can't take it.
233
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,306
Here it is.
234
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,144
Is something wrong?
235
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:50,014
No.
236
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,923
I thought you were
gonna print that letter
237
00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:53,485
from Mr...
238
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:55,786
What's his name?
239
00:10:55,855 --> 00:10:57,388
Mr. Lonely.
240
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,658
How did you hear about it?
241
00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:02,059
Your mother told me.
242
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,394
I cried.
243
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,599
Why didn't you print it?
244
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,635
Oh, I couldn't. Not after
what Dr. Javitz told me.
245
00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:12,103
Dr. Javitz?
246
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,283
Yes. The head of the
psychiatric ward at the hospital.
247
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,508
I showed him the
letters to get his opinion.
248
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:23,214
Well, what did he say?
249
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:25,416
I really don't want
to talk about it.
250
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:30,087
Look, I think I have
a right to know.
251
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:32,157
I mean, after all,
he is talking about...
252
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,394
my friend.
253
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:37,928
Well, Dr. Javitz just said that
254
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:41,032
whoever wrote those
letters is definitely
255
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,534
out to lunch.
256
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,171
That's ridiculous.
257
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:49,274
Dr. Javitz is an expert.
258
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:52,310
Well, it seems to me he might
be jumping to conclusions.
259
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,213
I mean, after all, This
Mr. Lonely, who knows?
260
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:57,148
He could have
made all this stuff up
261
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,684
you know, kind of as a put-on.
262
00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:01,219
It doesn't matter.
263
00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:04,021
Dr. Javitz said that even if
those letters were a put-on,
264
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,757
it's still a mental
projection of that person.
265
00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:09,327
In other words,
whoever wrote them,
266
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,429
well, his porch light is out.
267
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:12,997
Is is?
268
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,733
We're dealing with a neurotic
person with no bright lights.
269
00:12:15,802 --> 00:12:18,503
Sooner or later, he's bound
to let his paranoia slip out.
270
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,573
This can't be happening.
271
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:24,209
Did you say something?
272
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,810
No.
273
00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:27,679
That's funny. I thought
you said something.
274
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,247
Yeah, so did I.
275
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,484
I said I'm going to my room.
276
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:42,994
Hi. What you cooking?
277
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:44,528
Danny's pants.
278
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,077
What's for dessert,
Tracy's blouse?
279
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:48,633
His pants got
yellow paint on them
280
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:50,581
and it wouldn't come
out, so I had to dye them.
281
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:57,008
Laurie. I've been wanting
to talk to you about Keith.
282
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,577
You've been putting him
on for three days now.
283
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:02,647
Three of the happiest
days of my life.
284
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,050
Guess he has been
kind of miserable.
285
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,923
You know, maybe I
should make it up to him.
286
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:13,569
Are you going to tell
him the whole thing?
287
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,260
No.
288
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,762
I'm going to get him a
date with Dina Firmley.
289
00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:27,572
Where's Mom? Outside.
290
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,177
Well, you know who
you're looking at?
291
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,280
The king.
292
00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,214
I didn't know
dummies had a king.
293
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,184
Dummy, am I?
294
00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:43,254
Laurie's gonna fix up
Mr. Lonely with Dina Firmley.
295
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,757
You're kidding.
296
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,326
Hi, Mom. Great day
to be alive, isn't it?
297
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,595
Well, yes. Sure is a great day.
298
00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:54,965
Mmm. Smells good. What is it?
299
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,368
Danny's pants.
300
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,138
Get your lips off my pants.
301
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,955
I really appreciate
you helping me like this.
302
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,391
It's for a good cause, revenge.
303
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:23,093
Well, from what you told
me, I guess he deserves it.
304
00:14:23,162 --> 00:14:24,962
Look, I'll let you
go in alone first,
305
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,732
and I'll wait out here
until Keith makes his play,
306
00:14:27,801 --> 00:14:29,734
which should take
about five seconds.
307
00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:32,603
My, he is fast. Mmm-hmm.
308
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:35,673
And I'll come in,
and if we work it right,
309
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:37,709
we can make him
squirm half the night.
310
00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:56,361
Hi, Dina. Oh, hi, Keith.
311
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,095
Amazing. Four seconds.
312
00:14:58,164 --> 00:14:59,263
What?
313
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,966
Oh, nothing. Keith, I'm
meeting someone here.
314
00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:03,912
Look, I just want to
talk to you for a minute.
315
00:15:03,936 --> 00:15:05,670
Come on. Sit down.
316
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,500
What did you want
to talk to me about?
317
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:14,379
Well, actually, the
whole thing's a big joke.
318
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,319
What are you doing here?
319
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:25,289
Oh, well, I got to thinking,
320
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:28,559
we still don't know what
Mr. Lonely is really like,
321
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,428
so just to play it safe,
322
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,797
I'm gonna keep my
eye on her, all night.
323
00:15:32,866 --> 00:15:34,665
You know, sort of a chaperon.
324
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:35,900
Oh.
325
00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:38,235
What are you doing here?
326
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:41,873
Well, you know, just
hanging around, having fun.
327
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:44,776
Some coincidence we should
happen to meet here, huh?
328
00:15:44,844 --> 00:15:46,310
It sure is.
329
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:47,945
And in only four seconds.
330
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,017
Uh, why are you
sitting with Keith?
331
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:57,087
Oh, well, Keith wanted
to tell me a funny story.
332
00:15:57,156 --> 00:16:00,925
Well, actually, I wanted
to tell it to Dina alone.
333
00:16:02,094 --> 00:16:05,963
Not one of those
kind of jokes, hmm?
334
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:08,766
No, well, forget it. It's only
funny when you're alone.
335
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:11,936
Oh, no, no. Go on. Tell it.
336
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,874
Well, I wanted to tell
you both separately,
337
00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:20,645
but I didn't want to spoil
anything, you know?
338
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,980
But I guess I might
as well tell it like it is.
339
00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:24,114
Hi, everybody.
340
00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:26,016
Oh, hi, Mark, Scotty.
341
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,320
Go on, ask her.
342
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:31,689
Laurie, I had to ask you
about your newspaper column.
343
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:35,025
Are you really gonna set up
that Mr. Lonely with some girl?
344
00:16:35,094 --> 00:16:36,226
Well, it's no secret.
345
00:16:36,295 --> 00:16:37,862
It was right there in print.
346
00:16:37,931 --> 00:16:39,797
When are you gonna do it?
347
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:42,166
Well, actually, that's
kind of confidential.
348
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,015
Hey, Dina, if you
come over to our table,
349
00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:48,405
I'll buy you some French fries.
350
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:50,541
Oh, I can't, Mark.
I'm meeting a date.
351
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:51,809
Anyone I know?
352
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:52,944
No.
353
00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:58,716
Mr. Lonely.
354
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:04,288
It couldn't be that you're
the date for Mr. Lonely?
355
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,757
You know, she
came in with Laurie.
356
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,103
That's what it is, all right.
357
00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:11,061
Hey, Dina's gonna meet
Mr. Lonely tonight right here.
358
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:14,565
You know, I'd really
like to see this weirdo.
359
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:15,867
What does he look like?
360
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,535
I really don't know.
361
00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:19,637
He's supposed to recognize me.
362
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,640
We're gonna see Mr. Lonely.
363
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:24,709
Now, wait a minute. If
you all crowd around us,
364
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,243
you'll scare him away.
365
00:17:26,312 --> 00:17:28,212
Hey, you won't know we're here.
366
00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:32,550
Well, go on, Keith.
Tell us your joke.
367
00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:36,320
Never mind. It's
not funny anymore.
368
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,622
Forget the punch line?
369
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,991
I'd like to forget
the whole thing.
370
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,326
Well, maybe I've heard it.
371
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:43,961
It's not the joke
about the brother
372
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:47,398
who tried to put on his
sister, is it, Mr. Onely?
373
00:17:49,435 --> 00:17:50,513
You knew the whole time?
374
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:52,637
Ever since you broke your "L".
375
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:55,573
Oh, just a minute.
376
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:58,108
You don't mean to say that
Keith wrote those letters?
377
00:17:58,177 --> 00:18:00,545
Mark, you said I wouldn't
know you were here.
378
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,547
Keith is Mr. Lonely!
379
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,851
Okay, laugh it
up, I'm Mr. Lonely,
380
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,453
and I wrote those letters to
Dina so I could take her out.
381
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:10,755
Now is everybody happy?
382
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,559
I think they're happy.
383
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,107
Hey, look, Keith,
it was just a joke.
384
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:18,106
I didn't mean for all...
Don't say it. It's not your fault
385
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,130
I humiliated myself in public.
386
00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:21,465
It was my own doing.
387
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,067
That's what I was gonna say.
388
00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:28,272
Keith, it took a lot of nerve
389
00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:29,840
to say that in
front of everyone.
390
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:32,043
Yeah, well, I'm sorry
I embarrassed you.
391
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,878
You didn't.
392
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:35,913
You know, a guy's
never gone to such
393
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:39,650
ridiculous lengths
to take me out before.
394
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,652
I think it's a compliment.
395
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:45,289
You do? You do?
396
00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:47,592
I do.
397
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:50,027
And since you've
gone to all this trouble,
398
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:52,429
well, the least I can
do is go out with you.
399
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,335
Well, look, we're doing
a concert tomorrow night.
400
00:18:58,404 --> 00:18:59,536
Would you like to go?
401
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:01,271
I'd love it.
402
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,975
Meanwhile, I know a nice,
403
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:05,776
quiet place we can go tonight.
404
00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:09,580
My pleasure.
405
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:10,715
I don't believe it.
406
00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:12,583
Even when he's
stupid, he's smart.
407
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,351
Something wrong? Yes.
408
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:16,020
First the joke was on me
409
00:19:16,089 --> 00:19:17,688
and then the joke was on you.
410
00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:20,390
And now I think
it's on me again.
411
00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:22,226
Don't worry about it.
412
00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:23,661
I forgive you.
413
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:30,567
♪ Funny how you can go on livin'
414
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:34,571
♪ And lose the
simple knack of givin'
415
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:39,143
♪ It slips away before
you know it's gone
416
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:46,917
♪ You build up walls,
and before you know it
417
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:50,054
♪ Someone moves you,
and you want to show it
418
00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:53,357
♪ But you just can't find a way
419
00:19:53,425 --> 00:19:55,860
♪ Of lettin' on
420
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:00,430
♪ I've been alone too long
421
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:01,598
♪ I've been alone too long
422
00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:03,968
♪ Baby, now, don't you see?
423
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:05,903
♪ Don't you, don't you see?
424
00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:09,073
♪ I've been alone too long
425
00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:12,342
♪ That's all that's
wrong with me
426
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,547
♪ I want to build you a dream
427
00:20:16,615 --> 00:20:18,515
♪ Paint you a sunrise
428
00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:21,786
♪ Write you a beautiful song
429
00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:24,789
♪ But I don't know how
430
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:27,992
♪ I've been alone too long
431
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:41,005
♪ Funny how you
can cut off feelin'
432
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:44,875
♪ And tell yourself that
your wounds are healin'
433
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:49,914
♪ When all you've done
Is turn the pain inside
434
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:56,687
♪ And when you're
sure no one can get to you
435
00:20:56,756 --> 00:21:00,591
♪ Someone smiles and
it goes right through you
436
00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:05,529
♪ And wakes up something
that you thought had died
437
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,433
♪ I've been alone too long
438
00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:10,768
♪ I've been alone too long
439
00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:13,104
♪ Baby, now, don't you see?
440
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,039
♪ Don't you, don't you see?
441
00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:18,142
♪ I've been alone too long
442
00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:21,311
♪ That's all that's
wrong with me
443
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:22,747
♪ I've been alone
444
00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:25,415
♪ I want to build you a dream
445
00:21:25,484 --> 00:21:27,351
♪ Paint you a sunrise
446
00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:30,554
♪ Write you a beautiful song
447
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,490
♪ But I don't know how
448
00:21:33,559 --> 00:21:36,827
♪ I've been alone too long ♪
449
00:21:55,415 --> 00:21:57,247
Okay, whose turn is it next?
450
00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:59,049
I thought it was Danny's turn.
451
00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:01,185
He's right. Laurie
just finished a song,
452
00:22:01,253 --> 00:22:03,621
and you went before
her, so I'm next.
453
00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:06,857
But last time, you sang
a medley of 10 songs.
454
00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:08,693
Right, so it's my turn.
455
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:11,228
I want to sing The
Bicycle Song, okay?
456
00:22:11,297 --> 00:22:12,863
Yeah, but... Play, Danny.
457
00:22:21,106 --> 00:22:23,774
♪ I can ride my bicycle
458
00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:26,477
♪ I can ride my bike
459
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:29,213
♪ I can go most anywhere
460
00:22:29,281 --> 00:22:32,216
♪ Mmm, I'm outta
sight on my bike
461
00:22:32,284 --> 00:22:33,951
♪ Ridin' to the playground
462
00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:37,254
♪ Or the grocery store for Mom
463
00:22:37,323 --> 00:22:40,057
♪ I'll just ride my bike forever
464
00:22:40,125 --> 00:22:43,327
♪ I'll keep riding on my bike
465
00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:46,430
♪ My good old bike
466
00:22:48,167 --> 00:22:51,535
♪ Gosh, it's outta
sight riding my bike
467
00:22:53,305 --> 00:22:55,606
♪ Now, some kids want a new bike
468
00:22:55,675 --> 00:22:58,509
♪ But my old bike's fine with me
469
00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:00,911
♪ It may not be real shiny
470
00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:04,582
♪ But my bike is
just the greatest to me
471
00:23:04,650 --> 00:23:06,751
♪ Takes me where I want to go
472
00:23:06,819 --> 00:23:09,152
♪ It's very plain to see
473
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:11,889
♪ Or other bikes
will be all right
474
00:23:11,957 --> 00:23:16,627
♪ They just will
never be ♪ My bike
475
00:23:16,696 --> 00:23:19,263
♪ My good old bike
476
00:23:20,299 --> 00:23:22,700
♪ Gosh, it's outta sight
477
00:23:22,769 --> 00:23:25,403
♪ It's really quite all right
478
00:23:25,471 --> 00:23:31,041
♪ To know it's outta
sight ♪ Riding my bike
479
00:23:31,110 --> 00:23:33,110
♪ Riding, riding, riding my bike
480
00:23:33,178 --> 00:23:36,113
♪ Will you get off my bike? ♪
481
00:23:36,181 --> 00:23:39,082
Very good! Very good! Bravo!
482
00:23:39,151 --> 00:23:40,918
Good, Ricky.
483
00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:43,164
I like it when you baby-sit
for me, Mrs. Partridge.
484
00:23:43,188 --> 00:23:44,855
Really? Yep.
485
00:23:44,924 --> 00:23:46,568
I can come over and
sing my little heart out.
486
00:23:46,592 --> 00:23:48,091
Ricky, you can come over
487
00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,327
and sing your little
heart out anytime.
488
00:23:52,565 --> 00:23:54,932
Hi. How was your date with Dina?
489
00:23:56,235 --> 00:23:57,646
I don't want to
discuss it. Good night.
490
00:23:57,670 --> 00:23:59,537
No. Bingo.
491
00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:02,205
Bingo? What is this bingo?
492
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,585
Well, my readers wanted to know
493
00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,543
how things turned out
between you and Dina.
494
00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:07,144
This could be my biggest story.
495
00:24:07,212 --> 00:24:09,780
You'd print that kind of
garbage about your own brother?
496
00:24:09,849 --> 00:24:11,782
She dropped you
like a hot potato, huh?
497
00:24:11,851 --> 00:24:13,383
She didn't drop
me like a hot potato.
498
00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:15,252
I just let her think she did.
499
00:24:15,321 --> 00:24:17,888
So, she finally saw through you.
500
00:24:18,825 --> 00:24:20,123
No comment.
501
00:24:20,192 --> 00:24:21,570
Well, why'd she drop you, Keith?
502
00:24:21,594 --> 00:24:24,027
No comment. Was
it your insincerity,
503
00:24:24,096 --> 00:24:25,830
your corny lines? What?
504
00:24:25,898 --> 00:24:26,964
No comment!
505
00:24:29,168 --> 00:24:31,034
What was that all about?
506
00:24:31,771 --> 00:24:32,870
Ricky. Mmm-hmm.
507
00:24:32,939 --> 00:24:34,738
It's time to sing
your little heart out.
508
00:24:36,742 --> 00:24:40,243
No comment, no
comment, no comment.
509
00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:43,714
You know, Mom, Keith
might make a good President.
510
00:24:43,783 --> 00:24:46,617
Oh, boy, I think
we're in trouble.
34983
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