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[Partridge family theme playing]
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00:00:09,767 --> 00:00:13,966
♪ come on now and
meet everybody ♪
3
00:00:13,967 --> 00:00:17,899
♪ and hear us singing ♪
4
00:00:17,900 --> 00:00:22,332
♪ there's nothing better
than being together ♪
5
00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:25,067
♪ when we're singing ♪
6
00:00:26,333 --> 00:00:27,966
♪ the five of us ♪
7
00:00:27,967 --> 00:00:29,632
♪ and mom working all day ♪
8
00:00:29,633 --> 00:00:32,866
♪ we knew we could help
her if our music would pay ♪
9
00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:35,866
♪ Danny got Reuben
to sell our song ♪
10
00:00:35,867 --> 00:00:39,566
♪ and it really came together
when mom sang along ♪
11
00:00:39,567 --> 00:00:43,832
♪ come on now and
meet everybody ♪
12
00:00:43,833 --> 00:00:46,300
♪ and hear us singing ♪
13
00:00:47,633 --> 00:00:52,132
♪ there's nothing better
than being together ♪
14
00:00:52,133 --> 00:00:55,366
♪ when we're singing ♪
15
00:00:55,367 --> 00:00:58,766
♪ when we're singing ♪
16
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:02,367
♪ when we're singing ♪♪
17
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:06,599
Logan.
18
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,799
Are you or are you
not a concert promoter?
19
00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:11,132
I am.
20
00:01:11,133 --> 00:01:13,032
The hippest in the business,
21
00:01:13,033 --> 00:01:14,632
according to some,
22
00:01:14,633 --> 00:01:16,399
those who know me best.
23
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,899
And did you or did you not
24
00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:20,766
offer the partridge
family a tour of Europe?
25
00:01:20,767 --> 00:01:24,199
Right on. Tell
it like it is, baby.
26
00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,766
It's like this.
27
00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:28,899
Let's work out the contract.
28
00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:32,499
Now, how much are you
offering for expenses?
29
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:33,780
[Snaps finger]
Whatever you want.
30
00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:36,566
Hey, baby, it's just bread.
31
00:01:36,567 --> 00:01:39,732
I mean, as a human being,
I offer you all that I have.
32
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:42,232
Well, $1000 a week should do it.
33
00:01:42,233 --> 00:01:43,699
But as a promoter,
34
00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:45,866
I can only spare $150.
35
00:01:45,867 --> 00:01:47,099
That's ridiculous!
36
00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:48,466
It's not enough for food.
37
00:01:48,467 --> 00:01:49,467
[Knocking] Fast, man.
38
00:01:50,467 --> 00:01:51,467
Hi.
39
00:01:51,468 --> 00:01:52,499
Hi, Shirley.
40
00:01:52,500 --> 00:01:53,300
All right.
41
00:01:53,301 --> 00:01:54,799
We're almost finished.
42
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,999
This is Logan mays.
43
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,632
Oh. How do you do, Mr. Mays?
44
00:01:58,633 --> 00:02:00,932
I'm pleased to meet you.
45
00:02:00,933 --> 00:02:02,266
Can you dig it?
46
00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:03,899
It's what's happening,
47
00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:05,166
the handshake of the hip.
48
00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:07,766
Looks like a thumb
wrestling contest.
49
00:02:07,767 --> 00:02:11,466
My children are so excited
about the European tour.
50
00:02:11,467 --> 00:02:13,232
They've been
packing for two weeks.
51
00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,632
I must say, I'm
rather excited myself.
52
00:02:15,633 --> 00:02:17,632
We've been rehearsing
some new songs...
53
00:02:17,633 --> 00:02:19,066
Oh, Reuben, Reuben.
54
00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:21,032
Haven't you told Shirley?
55
00:02:21,033 --> 00:02:22,966
Told her what?
56
00:02:22,967 --> 00:02:25,766
About the tour, man.
57
00:02:25,767 --> 00:02:27,166
European kids don't dig adults
58
00:02:27,167 --> 00:02:29,032
messing around on their thing.
59
00:02:29,033 --> 00:02:30,532
I mean, who's gonna buy a band
60
00:02:30,533 --> 00:02:33,866
being led by a middle-aged lady?
61
00:02:33,867 --> 00:02:35,199
I beg your pardon?
62
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,632
Are you saying
63
00:02:36,633 --> 00:02:38,699
you don't want Shirley
to sing on the tour?
64
00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:40,299
It's in the contract.
65
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,232
Oh, no offense, sweetness,
66
00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:43,666
but I know what my people dig,
67
00:02:43,667 --> 00:02:45,199
because I'm one
of them, you know?
68
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:46,332
You're at...
69
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,632
At least as old as I am!
70
00:02:48,633 --> 00:02:50,266
Older, physically,
71
00:02:50,267 --> 00:02:53,632
but in my head, I am 18. Ooh!
72
00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:56,499
You come back
when you're of age.
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00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:57,932
In the meantime,
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00:02:57,933 --> 00:02:59,366
give this contract
to your father,
75
00:02:59,367 --> 00:03:02,067
and tell him the deal is off!
76
00:03:08,933 --> 00:03:11,100
[♪♪♪]
77
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:22,699
But if it looks like a boot,
why don't they call it boot?
78
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:24,399
Why do they call it Italy?
79
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,232
Why do they call Turkey Turkey?
80
00:03:26,233 --> 00:03:27,832
It doesn't look
anything like a Turkey.
81
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:28,966
And you don't look
82
00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:30,899
anything like a partridge.
83
00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:32,166
Oh, Europe.
84
00:03:32,167 --> 00:03:33,766
I can hardly
believe we're going.
85
00:03:33,767 --> 00:03:35,032
It's almost like a dream.
86
00:03:35,033 --> 00:03:36,866
It is? Uh-huh.
87
00:03:36,867 --> 00:03:38,599
I don't wanna go. Why not?
88
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:41,200
Because I dream of monsters.
89
00:03:43,633 --> 00:03:45,366
The gall of that man.
90
00:03:45,367 --> 00:03:47,099
He shakes your
thumb with one hand
91
00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:48,566
and goes for your
throat with the other.
92
00:03:48,567 --> 00:03:50,099
Those kids were
really looking forward
93
00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:51,266
to this trip.
94
00:03:51,267 --> 00:03:54,132
Tracy wanted to
meet hansel and gretel.
95
00:03:54,133 --> 00:03:57,466
Danny wanted to see
where the kaiser lived.
96
00:03:57,467 --> 00:03:58,699
Kaiser?
97
00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:01,832
Reuben, I don't know
what I'm gonna tell them.
98
00:04:01,833 --> 00:04:04,799
You know, maybe Logan's right.
99
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,232
Maybe I am holding them back.
100
00:04:07,233 --> 00:04:09,532
Shirley, now, that is
absolute nonsense.
101
00:04:09,533 --> 00:04:10,766
No, I mean it.
102
00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:12,532
What's a woman my age
103
00:04:12,533 --> 00:04:14,032
doing singing with
a bunch of kids
104
00:04:14,033 --> 00:04:15,732
that are old enough to be...
105
00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:17,632
Well, my kids.
106
00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,999
Yeah, you know,
107
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,399
I know why you're
talking this way.
108
00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,066
You just want the
kids to see Europe,
109
00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:25,166
so you're gonna
make sure they go.
110
00:04:25,167 --> 00:04:26,666
Well, I don't think
they're gonna want to
111
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,199
when they find
out the conditions.
112
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,899
That's why we're
not going to tell them.
113
00:04:31,900 --> 00:04:33,232
We have to tell them something.
114
00:04:33,233 --> 00:04:35,366
I mean, they're gonna
be a little suspicious
115
00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:37,399
if you just stop hanging around.
116
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:39,032
You get those contracts back,
117
00:04:39,033 --> 00:04:40,232
and I'll sign them.
118
00:04:40,233 --> 00:04:42,432
We'll tell them
tonight at the party.
119
00:04:42,433 --> 00:04:44,032
Party?
120
00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:46,733
My retirement party.
121
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,466
Chris: It is too hair.
122
00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:53,566
It's a hat.
123
00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:56,099
The guards at Buckingham
Palace wear hats.
124
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:59,032
Nobody's gonna hire
guys with hair like that
125
00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:00,599
to protect the queen.
126
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,299
That makes sense.
127
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,366
Boys, no reading at the table.
128
00:05:04,367 --> 00:05:05,532
Mm.
129
00:05:05,533 --> 00:05:08,299
Braised artichokes,
creamed mushrooms, squab.
130
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:10,799
What happened?
The freezer break?
131
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,299
I decided to make something
extra special for you tonight
132
00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:16,899
since I have something
important to say.
133
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,399
What's that?
134
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,399
I've told you the contracts
for the European tour
135
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,066
have been signed. Yay!
136
00:05:22,067 --> 00:05:23,799
Keith: That's great.
I will be going.
137
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,399
I mean, we'll be together,
138
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,099
but I won't be singing with you.
139
00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:29,232
What do you mean?
140
00:05:29,233 --> 00:05:30,832
Mom, what are you saying?
141
00:05:30,833 --> 00:05:32,432
I decided to go into retirement.
142
00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:34,566
I want to be a
normal mother again.
143
00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:37,067
But we like having
an abnormal mother.
144
00:05:38,433 --> 00:05:39,966
I'm tired of show business.
145
00:05:39,967 --> 00:05:41,299
I want to relax a little.
146
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:43,632
I want to have
a little more of...
147
00:05:43,633 --> 00:05:45,032
Well, this.
148
00:05:45,033 --> 00:05:47,432
What's so thrilling
about a dead bird?
149
00:05:47,433 --> 00:05:48,700
Danny...
150
00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:11,899
Yesterday morning
151
00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:14,032
she was really excited
about going to Europe,
152
00:06:14,033 --> 00:06:15,532
and last night she retires.
153
00:06:15,533 --> 00:06:17,066
It just doesn't make sense.
154
00:06:17,067 --> 00:06:18,199
It sure doesn't.
155
00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:19,899
She should have
at least given you
156
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:21,132
a two-week notice.
157
00:06:21,133 --> 00:06:22,832
Well, here it is, my
favorite restaurant.
158
00:06:22,833 --> 00:06:23,899
Reuben, what happened?
159
00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:25,599
Hey, they got the window fixed.
160
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:26,932
Well, I hope the place
161
00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:29,467
isn't under new management.
162
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:34,732
Hi there.
163
00:06:34,733 --> 00:06:36,132
Is, uh, my table ready?
164
00:06:36,133 --> 00:06:37,666
Your what?
165
00:06:37,667 --> 00:06:40,399
Don't bother seating us.
166
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,466
She must be new here.
167
00:06:43,467 --> 00:06:44,567
Thank you.
168
00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:49,432
Okay.
169
00:06:49,433 --> 00:06:51,166
Order anything
on the menu, kids.
170
00:06:51,167 --> 00:06:52,866
My treat.
171
00:06:52,867 --> 00:06:55,899
We want to know how come
mom's suddenly leaving the group.
172
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:57,832
That's not on the menu.
173
00:06:57,833 --> 00:07:00,032
Reuben, if you know
something we don't,
174
00:07:00,033 --> 00:07:01,566
you may as well tell us,
175
00:07:01,567 --> 00:07:04,066
because we're not going
on that tour without her.
176
00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:06,066
Look, I'm sure your mother
177
00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:08,066
didn't make her
decision lightly.
178
00:07:08,067 --> 00:07:10,066
The important thing now
179
00:07:10,067 --> 00:07:12,066
is for all of us to
get behind her...
180
00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:13,232
[Telephone ringing]
181
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:15,099
Help her to explore
182
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:17,099
the rich challenge
of domestic life.
183
00:07:17,100 --> 00:07:18,266
Oh, we may not understand
184
00:07:18,267 --> 00:07:21,099
this new life she's chosen,
185
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:22,366
but we can pretend we do.
186
00:07:22,367 --> 00:07:23,899
Reuben, please, I
feel like standing up
187
00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:25,099
and saluting
188
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:26,132
a piece of apple pie.
189
00:07:26,133 --> 00:07:27,432
Out of apple.
190
00:07:27,433 --> 00:07:28,732
Uh, is there
anyone at this table
191
00:07:28,733 --> 00:07:30,732
who is an uptight,
middle-aged man,
192
00:07:30,733 --> 00:07:32,966
who's unable to relate
openly and directly
193
00:07:32,967 --> 00:07:34,666
to other human beings?
194
00:07:34,667 --> 00:07:35,766
Why?
195
00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:37,466
Well, there's a
phone call for him.
196
00:07:37,467 --> 00:07:39,599
A guy wants to talk
to a Reuben Kincaid
197
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:41,099
or something.
198
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:43,399
A call? For me? Right.
199
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,666
Well, would you mind
bringing the phone to our table,
200
00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:46,667
please?
201
00:07:46,668 --> 00:07:48,199
No, I don't mind.
202
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,899
Would you mind helping
me tear it off the wall?
203
00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:53,367
I'll be right back.
204
00:07:57,367 --> 00:07:58,532
Yes?
205
00:07:58,533 --> 00:08:00,066
Oh, Logan.
206
00:08:00,067 --> 00:08:02,066
Sure they're going.
207
00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:04,199
We have a contract, don't we?
208
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,599
Yes, yes, the conditions
have been met.
209
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,466
I can't talk now.
210
00:08:08,467 --> 00:08:11,332
I can't tell you why
I can't talk now.
211
00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:13,032
Because I can't talk now.
212
00:08:13,033 --> 00:08:14,566
Kids, where are you going?
213
00:08:14,567 --> 00:08:16,532
Sorry, we can't talk now.
214
00:08:16,533 --> 00:08:18,032
Yeah...
215
00:08:18,033 --> 00:08:19,832
[Film camera whirring]
216
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,432
Underground film?
217
00:08:21,433 --> 00:08:24,066
Hey, that's where
it's all at, baby,
218
00:08:24,067 --> 00:08:26,266
and I'm moving in.
219
00:08:26,267 --> 00:08:29,199
Small budgets, dedicated crews,
220
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,466
real people,
221
00:08:30,467 --> 00:08:33,199
not actors, but people like...
222
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:34,932
Well, like me.
223
00:08:34,933 --> 00:08:36,666
Move in here for
a close-up, kid.
224
00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:38,899
Logan mays,
225
00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:42,532
the guy Bob Dylan calls...
226
00:08:42,533 --> 00:08:44,366
Beautiful.
227
00:08:44,367 --> 00:08:46,266
Mr. Mays... Call me Logan, man.
228
00:08:46,267 --> 00:08:48,399
We are on the same
side of the barricade.
229
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,199
Look, do you have any idea
230
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,066
why mom suddenly
dropped out of the group?
231
00:08:53,067 --> 00:08:55,566
Hey, I like that.
Direct, human, sincere.
232
00:08:55,567 --> 00:08:56,732
Did you get that?
233
00:08:56,733 --> 00:08:58,266
Beautiful.
234
00:08:58,267 --> 00:08:59,666
When the tour is over,
235
00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:01,699
you may have a
place in my movie.
236
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:04,599
We're not going on any
tour, not without mom.
237
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,466
Did you have something
to do with mom quitting?
238
00:09:06,467 --> 00:09:08,466
Look, what has she
ever done for you?
239
00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:10,899
Buy her a library card.
She'll forget all about you.
240
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:12,299
Believe me,
241
00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:13,799
I am doing you a favor.
242
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,966
So you did have something
to do with her quitting.
243
00:09:15,967 --> 00:09:18,032
Look, kid, I know the market.
244
00:09:18,033 --> 00:09:21,399
It is bearish for
performers over 30.
245
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,432
Well, the partridge family is
bullish on staying together,
246
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:26,766
you... You home wrecker.
247
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,432
Home wrecker?
248
00:09:28,433 --> 00:09:29,999
Hey, I like the ring of that.
249
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,532
Home wrecker.
250
00:09:31,533 --> 00:09:32,533
Well, forget it...
251
00:09:32,534 --> 00:09:34,532
Because the partridge family
252
00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:37,132
wouldn't do a tour
of Disneyland for you.
253
00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:38,766
But you're forgetting something.
254
00:09:38,767 --> 00:09:41,166
Shirley signed the contracts.
255
00:09:41,167 --> 00:09:43,099
Contracts can be broken.
256
00:09:43,100 --> 00:09:45,032
Yeah, well, you break this one,
257
00:09:45,033 --> 00:09:46,332
and you'll find
258
00:09:46,333 --> 00:09:48,199
that the partridge
family's gonna end up
259
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,899
like sky and the four clouds.
260
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:52,799
Who are they? Right on.
261
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,432
Hey, business is business,
262
00:09:54,433 --> 00:09:56,466
but can't we be friends, huh?
263
00:09:56,467 --> 00:09:58,266
Hey, you getting all this?
264
00:09:58,267 --> 00:10:00,299
Because this is heavy stuff.
265
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,532
I am showing these kids
my innermost feelings.
266
00:10:03,533 --> 00:10:06,633
You have no innermost feelings.
267
00:10:25,733 --> 00:10:27,499
She's home. All right.
268
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:28,699
Now, remember,
269
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,699
we have to convince mom
how much we need her,
270
00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:33,599
so let's do it wrong
and get it right, okay?
271
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:34,632
Okay.
272
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:36,299
We're gonna pick it
up from the chorus.
273
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:38,132
[Sloppy, out of tune]
♪ baby, I love ♪
274
00:10:38,133 --> 00:10:41,166
♪ baby, I love you
baby, I love you ♪
275
00:10:41,167 --> 00:10:43,199
♪ baby, I love
love, love, love ♪
276
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,632
♪ I love you ♪
277
00:10:44,633 --> 00:10:50,432
♪ baby, I love you
baby, I love you ♪
278
00:10:50,433 --> 00:10:52,299
♪ baby, I love
love, love, love ♪
279
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:54,099
♪ I love you ♪
all right, hold it, hold it.
280
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:55,566
Danny, you lost the tempo.
281
00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:58,132
I just can't keep
time without mom.
282
00:10:58,133 --> 00:10:59,966
Laurie, you're supposed
to come in when...
283
00:10:59,967 --> 00:11:01,166
Hi, kids.
284
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:02,332
Oh, hi, mom.
285
00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:03,899
Oh, mom. Oh, hi, mom.
286
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:05,032
That sounded pretty awful.
287
00:11:05,033 --> 00:11:06,266
What's wrong?
288
00:11:06,267 --> 00:11:08,266
Oh, uh, nothing, really.
289
00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:10,332
I heard your singing,
and I must say,
290
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:12,432
it was a bit, um... Sloppy.
291
00:11:12,433 --> 00:11:14,432
Oh, mom, you've got enough
to do with your housework.
292
00:11:14,433 --> 00:11:16,632
We can work this out ourselves.
293
00:11:16,633 --> 00:11:17,799
Yeah.
294
00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,366
Mom, we just can't
make it without you.
295
00:11:20,367 --> 00:11:22,699
Well, I don't think you've
been trying, have you?
296
00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:24,266
We are trying,
297
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:25,932
but it's not working.
298
00:11:25,933 --> 00:11:28,032
We've lost our sex appeal.
299
00:11:28,033 --> 00:11:32,099
Danny, you don't even
know what that is...
300
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,732
Or do you?
301
00:11:33,733 --> 00:11:35,199
Not me, mom.
302
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,632
I just know it's
something you've got.
303
00:11:37,633 --> 00:11:38,666
She doesn't.
304
00:11:38,667 --> 00:11:39,966
Sex, sex, sex.
305
00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:42,367
That's all you ever think about.
306
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,166
It was a nice try, kids,
307
00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:46,366
but it won't work.
308
00:11:46,367 --> 00:11:48,499
I'm not coming
out of retirement.
309
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,566
Mom, we know.
310
00:11:49,567 --> 00:11:52,066
We went to see Logan mays.
311
00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:54,899
I thought so.
312
00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,432
All right, so you know,
313
00:11:56,433 --> 00:11:58,799
but Logan mays didn't
force me into retirement.
314
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,466
This was my own decision.
315
00:12:00,467 --> 00:12:03,099
He just got me to thinking
that maybe you kids
316
00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:05,099
ought to see what you
can do on your own.
317
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,166
Mom, you're not holding us back.
318
00:12:07,167 --> 00:12:09,132
Did Laurel hold back Hardy?
319
00:12:09,133 --> 00:12:10,999
Did abbott hold back costello?
320
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,067
Did Charlie hold back chaplin?
321
00:12:15,300 --> 00:12:17,500
Danny, I think you've
helped enough already.
322
00:12:20,133 --> 00:12:22,000
My mind's made up.
323
00:12:23,733 --> 00:12:24,866
Anybody need anything
324
00:12:24,867 --> 00:12:25,932
from the supermarket?
325
00:12:25,933 --> 00:12:26,966
Yeah.
326
00:12:26,967 --> 00:12:28,799
What?
327
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,700
A lead singer.
328
00:12:42,633 --> 00:12:44,299
We are ready.
329
00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:46,866
We've been practicing the
new arrangements all week.
330
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,266
A week?
331
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:49,832
Well, that's not much time.
332
00:12:49,833 --> 00:12:52,999
But, Reuben, we need some
feedback from a live audience.
333
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,532
Bouncing our tunes
off the walls of a garage
334
00:12:55,533 --> 00:12:57,399
isn't enough.
335
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,099
Just a one-nighter
in a small club.
336
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:01,099
Say, the ark.
337
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,832
And it would give
Logan mays a chance
338
00:13:02,833 --> 00:13:04,166
to see the new
act he's promoting.
339
00:13:04,167 --> 00:13:06,799
Well, I guess I
could arrange it.
340
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,533
Well, what does your mom say?
341
00:13:09,533 --> 00:13:11,799
Well, lately, all mom says is,
342
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,533
"coffee, tea, or milk?"
343
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,799
How do we look, mom?
344
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,166
Lovely. Just lovely.
345
00:13:23,167 --> 00:13:24,932
Well, I guess we'd
better get going.
346
00:13:24,933 --> 00:13:26,066
Yeah, we're gonna be late.
347
00:13:26,067 --> 00:13:27,067
I'll get my coat. No!
348
00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:29,033
You can't go, mom.
349
00:13:29,034 --> 00:13:30,966
I can't?
350
00:13:30,967 --> 00:13:32,899
No. Uh-uh.
351
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:34,132
Why not?
352
00:13:34,133 --> 00:13:35,133
Tell her why not, Laurie.
353
00:13:35,134 --> 00:13:36,999
Uh, because...
354
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,799
Well, since you've
left the group,
355
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,032
we've got to learn how
to do things by ourselves.
356
00:13:41,033 --> 00:13:42,232
Right.
357
00:13:42,233 --> 00:13:44,499
Well, maybe
they're right, Shirley.
358
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:46,832
Your being there
might distract them.
359
00:13:46,833 --> 00:13:48,632
Well, I hadn't thought of that.
360
00:13:48,633 --> 00:13:51,567
I certainly wouldn't want
to make you nervous.
361
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,133
Uh-uh.
362
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,132
I guess you'd better
get going. Bye, mom.
363
00:13:58,133 --> 00:13:59,466
Bye. Bye-bye, mom.
364
00:13:59,467 --> 00:14:00,467
Good luck. Bye, mom.
365
00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:02,667
Goodbye, honey.
366
00:14:05,033 --> 00:14:06,066
I'll take care of them.
367
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:07,232
Don't worry about anything.
368
00:14:07,233 --> 00:14:08,666
Reuben, you know I don't worry.
369
00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:09,699
Sure.
370
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:10,700
Bye. Bye. Uh, Reuben?
371
00:14:11,700 --> 00:14:12,832
Yeah?
372
00:14:12,833 --> 00:14:14,099
Um, look,
373
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:15,866
make sure Tracy
isn't chewing gum
374
00:14:15,867 --> 00:14:17,399
before she goes on. Okay.
375
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,666
And, um... see that
Chris and Danny
376
00:14:19,667 --> 00:14:21,566
don't get the knees
of their pants dirty.
377
00:14:21,567 --> 00:14:22,632
That always happens.
378
00:14:22,633 --> 00:14:24,732
And make sure that
Keith has his guitar pick.
379
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,499
I'll make sure.
380
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:29,432
I'm glad you're not
worried about anything.
381
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:32,499
Actually, it all
happened for the best.
382
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:35,666
Uh, I have lots to
do while they're gone.
383
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,199
Oh? Like what?
384
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,132
Well, like...
385
00:14:39,133 --> 00:14:41,032
Get going.
386
00:14:41,033 --> 00:14:43,600
Bye. Bye.
387
00:14:46,567 --> 00:14:49,099
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
we have a special treat.
388
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:50,632
As a surprise added attraction,
389
00:14:50,633 --> 00:14:52,599
here to sing a
brand-new arrangement
390
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,632
of their big hit,
391
00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:55,399
"baby, I love,
love, I love you"...
392
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,300
The partridge family!
393
00:15:09,167 --> 00:15:11,632
[Sloppily playing "Baby,
I love, love, I love you"]
394
00:15:11,633 --> 00:15:14,232
[Off-key] ♪ isn't it
time time you tell me ♪
395
00:15:14,233 --> 00:15:16,932
♪ am I losing my touch? ♪
396
00:15:16,933 --> 00:15:21,399
♪ I've heard you call me,
girl it's more than enough ♪
397
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:25,732
♪ you were so good to me,
girl I needed you to go on ♪
398
00:15:25,733 --> 00:15:28,099
♪ we had ourselves
a good thing ♪
399
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:30,266
♪ is it over and done? ♪
400
00:15:30,267 --> 00:15:33,399
♪ I need some time to think ♪
401
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,032
♪ to get myself together again ♪
402
00:15:35,033 --> 00:15:36,499
♪ time to think ♪
403
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,932
♪ I got to get on
my feet again ♪
404
00:15:39,933 --> 00:15:41,399
♪ the woman I used to love ♪
405
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,199
♪ ain't the woman I see today ♪
406
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:46,533
♪ the woman I see today... ♪♪
407
00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:49,866
hi.
408
00:15:49,867 --> 00:15:52,532
Ah. Halt. Achtung.
409
00:15:52,533 --> 00:15:53,999
Some hippie.
410
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,166
I bet he has relatives
living in Argentina.
411
00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:58,399
I think the expression is,
412
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,266
nobody likes a wiseacre.
413
00:16:01,267 --> 00:16:03,332
What's a wiseacre?
414
00:16:03,333 --> 00:16:04,532
It's an expression
415
00:16:04,533 --> 00:16:06,632
middle-aged 18-year-olds use.
416
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:09,199
Don't put me on.
417
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,899
Now, I know you
messed up on purpose,
418
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:12,299
and I know why.
419
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:13,999
You didn't like the act, huh?
420
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,166
Keep it up, kid,
421
00:16:15,167 --> 00:16:17,066
and your nose will grow long.
422
00:16:17,067 --> 00:16:20,799
Now, I don't like
people trying to con me,
423
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,666
so I suggest you kids
put it together fast,
424
00:16:23,667 --> 00:16:27,033
or I sue for breach of contract.
425
00:16:30,567 --> 00:16:34,033
How's that for bridging
the communications gap?
426
00:16:44,267 --> 00:16:46,467
[Doorbell chimes]
427
00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:55,366
Hi. How'd it go?
428
00:16:55,367 --> 00:16:57,166
They loved our outfits.
429
00:16:57,167 --> 00:16:58,499
Oh, kids...
430
00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:00,366
Actually, we got
a lot of laughs.
431
00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:03,232
None of them from Logan mays.
432
00:17:03,233 --> 00:17:04,632
Oh, I'm sorry.
433
00:17:04,633 --> 00:17:06,632
It's probably just a
matter of practice.
434
00:17:06,633 --> 00:17:08,832
You just need a few
more weeks' rehearsal.
435
00:17:08,833 --> 00:17:11,399
It's no fun without you, mom.
436
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,299
We don't want to go on the
tour if it means splitting up.
437
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,532
But it doesn't.
I'll be with you.
438
00:17:16,533 --> 00:17:19,166
I just won't be singing
with you, that's all.
439
00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:20,466
Don't all moms
sing with their kids?
440
00:17:20,467 --> 00:17:23,066
Not that many families
are as lucky as we are.
441
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:25,000
Were.
442
00:17:26,167 --> 00:17:27,899
Look, there's no
sense talking about it.
443
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:30,132
You may never have another
chance to go to Europe,
444
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:32,066
and I'm not gonna
let you miss it.
445
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:33,666
You know,
446
00:17:33,667 --> 00:17:35,199
there's no sense
talking about it, mom,
447
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,066
because I'm not
working for Logan mays.
448
00:17:37,067 --> 00:17:38,399
I quit.
449
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,300
Keith.
450
00:17:39,301 --> 00:17:40,699
Keith's right. I quit.
451
00:17:40,700 --> 00:17:41,700
I quit too. Me too.
452
00:17:45,633 --> 00:17:47,299
Danny?
453
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,467
I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
454
00:18:04,033 --> 00:18:06,032
Well, I must say,
455
00:18:06,033 --> 00:18:08,166
I've never seen
456
00:18:08,167 --> 00:18:09,632
five more unhappy faces.
457
00:18:09,633 --> 00:18:11,832
Six, if we include yours, mom.
458
00:18:11,833 --> 00:18:13,266
Me?
459
00:18:13,267 --> 00:18:14,799
Oh, I never felt better.
460
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,832
Especially since I'm
coming out of retirement
461
00:18:17,833 --> 00:18:18,833
and all that. What? What?
462
00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:20,732
You're kidding.
463
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,232
Well, if you kids
are crazy enough
464
00:18:22,233 --> 00:18:23,666
to prefer my voice
to my cooking,
465
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,666
I suppose I'll have
to go along with it.
466
00:18:25,667 --> 00:18:28,266
That's great. Then you're
gonna sing with us on the tour.
467
00:18:28,267 --> 00:18:30,232
No, Keith. After the tour.
468
00:18:30,233 --> 00:18:32,032
No, mom, we need you now.
469
00:18:32,033 --> 00:18:33,399
Listen, whether
you like it or not,
470
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,199
we made a bargain
with Logan mays,
471
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,532
and we have to keep it,
472
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:38,032
but after we come home,
473
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:40,299
well, you won't be
able to get rid of me,
474
00:18:40,300 --> 00:18:41,799
even if you wanted to.
475
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,566
Welcome back, mom. Thank you.
476
00:18:43,567 --> 00:18:45,199
Great to have you
with us again, mom.
477
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,766
I love you, mama.
478
00:18:46,767 --> 00:18:48,199
Thank you, sweetheart.
479
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,832
Yeah, but do
we still get to split
480
00:18:49,833 --> 00:18:51,199
your percentage in Europe?
481
00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:53,600
Laurie: Danny!
482
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:57,699
["when we're singing" Plays]
483
00:18:57,700 --> 00:19:02,832
♪ come on now and meet
everybody and hear us singing ♪
484
00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:07,032
♪ there's nothing better
than being together ♪
485
00:19:07,033 --> 00:19:09,332
♪ when we're singing ♪
486
00:19:09,333 --> 00:19:15,632
♪ come on now and meet
everybody and hear us singing ♪
487
00:19:15,633 --> 00:19:19,999
♪ there's nothing better
than being together ♪
488
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,099
♪ when we're singing ♪♪
489
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:24,767
[applause]
490
00:19:32,167 --> 00:19:33,666
Crowd: Shirley! Shirley!
491
00:19:33,667 --> 00:19:35,866
Shirley! Shirley!
492
00:19:35,867 --> 00:19:37,732
Nous voulons Shirley!
493
00:19:37,733 --> 00:19:38,999
Nous voulons Shirley!
494
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,332
Shirley!
495
00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:41,233
Shirley!
496
00:19:41,234 --> 00:19:42,699
What does that mean?
497
00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:44,666
They want mom.
498
00:19:44,667 --> 00:19:45,766
Shirley! Shirley!
499
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:47,566
Hey, you must
have a lot of relatives
500
00:19:47,567 --> 00:19:48,766
here in Paris.
501
00:19:48,767 --> 00:19:51,132
Yeah, they must be relatives.
502
00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:52,599
She's too old to have fans.
503
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,466
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Where are you going?
504
00:19:54,467 --> 00:19:56,166
There's an audience out there
505
00:19:56,167 --> 00:19:57,699
that wants a number from you.
506
00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:58,700
You just can't split.
507
00:19:58,701 --> 00:20:00,566
Who would want
a middle-aged lady
508
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,432
messing around in their thing?
509
00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:03,566
Who knows?
510
00:20:03,567 --> 00:20:05,432
But whatever it is
they're screaming for,
511
00:20:05,433 --> 00:20:07,766
it's my duty to give it to them.
512
00:20:07,767 --> 00:20:09,699
I love those kids.
513
00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:11,499
Sure you do.
514
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:13,032
They want want her to go on.
515
00:20:13,033 --> 00:20:14,466
Yeah.
516
00:20:14,467 --> 00:20:16,799
Tell you what I'll
do. Let's negotiate.
517
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,899
Crowd: Nous voulons
Shirley! Shirley! Shirley!
518
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:21,366
Look, you can't do this to me.
519
00:20:21,367 --> 00:20:24,132
I'll let you two
settle the details.
520
00:20:24,133 --> 00:20:26,999
I think I'll join my family.
521
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,466
Reuben...
522
00:20:28,467 --> 00:20:30,099
Nous voulons Shirley!
523
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:32,066
Shirley! Shirley!
524
00:20:32,067 --> 00:20:33,866
Nous voulons Shirley!
525
00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:36,200
[Applause]
526
00:20:39,867 --> 00:20:40,999
Notre mère.
527
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,199
"our mother."
528
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,066
I knew it was
something like that.
529
00:20:44,067 --> 00:20:47,167
[Crowd cheering]
530
00:20:58,833 --> 00:21:01,067
[Playing "Heartbeat"]
531
00:21:06,067 --> 00:21:07,399
♪ I can feel your heart beat ♪
532
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,632
♪ and you didn't
even say a word ♪
533
00:21:10,633 --> 00:21:12,499
♪ I can feel your heart beat ♪
534
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:15,532
♪ but you didn't
even say a word ♪
535
00:21:15,533 --> 00:21:19,067
♪ oh, I know, pretty woman
that your love can be heard ♪
536
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:22,832
♪ you can feel
my heart beat too ♪
537
00:21:22,833 --> 00:21:25,199
♪ I can tell you're feeling me ♪
538
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,499
♪ you can feel
my heart beat too ♪
539
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:30,066
♪ I can see you're feeling me ♪
540
00:21:30,067 --> 00:21:33,099
♪ oh, I know, pretty woman
that your love can be heard ♪
541
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:35,366
♪ oh, oh, oh ♪
542
00:21:35,367 --> 00:21:37,266
♪ we paint the night ♪
543
00:21:37,267 --> 00:21:41,199
♪ let it shine in the
light of our love ♪
544
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,532
♪ this is the night ♪
545
00:21:43,533 --> 00:21:47,532
♪ yeah, this is the
night of our love ♪
546
00:21:47,533 --> 00:21:50,466
♪ I'll treat you like a woman
love you like a woman ♪
547
00:21:50,467 --> 00:21:53,300
♪ lord, I'll prove it, baby
I'm a man of my word ♪
548
00:21:57,967 --> 00:22:00,532
♪ love, love can't you
feel your heart beat ♪
549
00:22:00,533 --> 00:22:02,832
♪ love, love I can
feel your heart beat ♪
550
00:22:02,833 --> 00:22:05,699
♪ love, love can't you
feel your heart beat ♪
551
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:08,132
♪ love ♪
552
00:22:08,133 --> 00:22:09,966
♪ and we paint the night ♪
553
00:22:09,967 --> 00:22:13,899
♪ let it shine in the
light of our love ♪
554
00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:16,299
♪ this is the night ♪
555
00:22:16,300 --> 00:22:19,932
♪ yeah, this is the
night of our love ♪
556
00:22:19,933 --> 00:22:22,632
♪ I'll treat you like a woman
love you like a woman ♪
557
00:22:22,633 --> 00:22:26,000
♪ lord, I'll prove it, baby
I'm a man of my word ♪
558
00:22:30,467 --> 00:22:32,799
♪ love, love can't you
feel your heart beat ♪
559
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,532
♪ love, love I can
feel your heart beat ♪
560
00:22:35,533 --> 00:22:37,599
♪ love, love can't you
feel my heart beat ♪
561
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,499
♪ love, love I can
feel your heart beat ♪
562
00:22:40,500 --> 00:22:42,932
♪ love, love can't you
feel my heart beat ♪
563
00:22:42,933 --> 00:22:45,432
♪ love, love I can
feel your heart beat ♪
564
00:22:45,433 --> 00:22:47,799
♪ love, love can't you feel it ♪
565
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,066
♪ love, love oh, I can feel it ♪
566
00:22:50,067 --> 00:22:51,666
♪ love, love ♪
567
00:22:51,667 --> 00:22:54,099
♪ gettin' stronger love, love ♪
568
00:22:54,100 --> 00:22:56,932
♪ I can feel it love, love ♪
569
00:22:56,933 --> 00:22:59,132
♪ I can feel it love, love ♪
570
00:22:59,133 --> 00:23:00,133
♪ it's getting stronger ♪
571
00:23:00,134 --> 00:23:01,267
♪ love ♪♪
572
00:23:03,267 --> 00:23:06,100
[cheering and applause]
573
00:23:18,833 --> 00:23:20,366
[Applause]
574
00:23:20,367 --> 00:23:22,232
Listen to that applause.
575
00:23:22,233 --> 00:23:24,066
Four encores. Out of sight.
576
00:23:24,067 --> 00:23:25,899
I mean, really out of sight.
577
00:23:25,900 --> 00:23:27,232
This tour is gonna be big.
578
00:23:27,233 --> 00:23:28,932
It was because you
were with us, mom.
579
00:23:28,933 --> 00:23:30,599
Yeah, you saw the difference
580
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,466
as soon as you got on stage.
581
00:23:32,467 --> 00:23:34,566
You were doing fine without me.
582
00:23:34,567 --> 00:23:36,899
We've got charisma, mom,
but you've got sex appeal.
583
00:23:36,900 --> 00:23:38,666
Logan: The kids are right.
584
00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:41,666
Shirley, you are one
exciting performer.
585
00:23:41,667 --> 00:23:45,032
Listen, Shirley, have
you ever thought
586
00:23:45,033 --> 00:23:46,466
of going out as a single?
587
00:23:46,467 --> 00:23:48,632
I mean, what do you
need with a bunch of kids?
588
00:23:48,633 --> 00:23:52,432
Look, let me book a
tour of Europe for you
589
00:23:52,433 --> 00:23:53,466
by yourself.
590
00:23:53,467 --> 00:23:55,332
Forget it, Logan.
I'm not interested.
591
00:23:55,333 --> 00:23:57,099
Listen, I know what I'm doing.
592
00:23:57,100 --> 00:23:58,799
I could make you big.
593
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,566
You're impossible.
594
00:24:00,567 --> 00:24:02,299
Come on, kids.
595
00:24:02,300 --> 00:24:04,566
You can't talk to me like that.
596
00:24:04,567 --> 00:24:06,432
I'm a giant.
597
00:24:06,433 --> 00:24:07,766
Nice try.
598
00:24:07,767 --> 00:24:09,232
Kids worship at my feet.
599
00:24:09,233 --> 00:24:10,832
No autographs today, kids.
600
00:24:10,833 --> 00:24:12,532
I'm too whacked
out. Can't you...
601
00:24:12,533 --> 00:24:14,732
Well, I'll-I'll-I'll sign
a few autographs,
602
00:24:14,733 --> 00:24:16,433
if you insist.
603
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,232
If you...
604
00:24:21,233 --> 00:24:22,999
If you insist,
605
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:24,832
I'll sign your autograph book.
606
00:24:24,833 --> 00:24:25,899
[Speaking French]
607
00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:26,900
Logan mays.
608
00:24:26,901 --> 00:24:28,632
The Logan mays.
609
00:24:28,633 --> 00:24:31,299
The promoter.
610
00:24:31,300 --> 00:24:33,266
Give me that, kid.
611
00:24:33,267 --> 00:24:36,466
[Muttering] There's just
no justice in the world.
612
00:24:36,467 --> 00:24:38,700
I made you what you are today.
613
00:24:44,633 --> 00:24:46,667
[♪♪♪]
41824
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