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[Partridge family theme playing]
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♪ Come on now and
meet everybody ♪
3
00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:18,749
♪ and hear us singing ♪
4
00:00:18,750 --> 00:00:23,040
♪ there's nothing better
than being together ♪
5
00:00:23,041 --> 00:00:25,541
♪ when we're singing ♪
6
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♪ the five of us ♪
7
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♪ and mom working all day ♪
8
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♪ we knew we could help
her if our music would pay ♪
9
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♪ Danny got Reuben
to sell our song ♪
10
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♪ and it really came together
when mom sang along ♪
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00:00:40,416 --> 00:00:44,540
♪ come on now and
meet everybody ♪
12
00:00:44,541 --> 00:00:47,000
♪ and hear us singing ♪
13
00:00:48,625 --> 00:00:52,749
♪ there's nothing better
than being together ♪
14
00:00:52,750 --> 00:00:55,999
♪ when we're singing ♪
15
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:59,374
♪ when we're singing ♪
16
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♪ when we're singing ♪♪
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Chris: Bang, bang. Bang, bang.
18
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Tracy: You missed me.
19
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Bang, bang, bang.
I got you then.
20
00:01:11,708 --> 00:01:13,040
No, you didn't.
21
00:01:13,041 --> 00:01:15,374
You forgot to reload.
You're out of bullets.
22
00:01:15,375 --> 00:01:18,457
Mom, Chris is pretending
he has a gun again.
23
00:01:18,458 --> 00:01:19,874
Chris, I told you
24
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never to shoot your
finger at anyone.
25
00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:23,915
Aw, mom...
26
00:01:23,916 --> 00:01:25,874
You now how I feel about guns.
27
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I was just trying to wing her.
28
00:01:27,583 --> 00:01:28,832
Chris...
29
00:01:28,833 --> 00:01:30,249
You can't blame him.
30
00:01:30,250 --> 00:01:32,457
He's just got this
concert on his mind.
31
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[Sighs] I guess so.
32
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Shirley: About this time,
33
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I was wondering if
doing a concert in prison
34
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was such a good idea.
35
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An inmate, Hank beuford,
36
00:01:42,208 --> 00:01:44,040
head of the prison
entertainment committee,
37
00:01:44,041 --> 00:01:46,249
wrote us a letter and
asked us to appear.
38
00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:48,749
It seemed like a
good idea at the time.
39
00:01:48,750 --> 00:01:49,874
It sure is big...
40
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And quiet.
41
00:01:51,250 --> 00:01:53,582
It's kind of scary.
42
00:01:53,583 --> 00:01:55,540
Yeah, like a library.
43
00:01:55,541 --> 00:01:56,957
I wonder if I'll run into
44
00:01:56,958 --> 00:01:58,957
any of my old
business associates.
45
00:01:58,958 --> 00:02:00,332
They don't have debtors' prisons
46
00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:01,666
anymore.
47
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Mrs. Partridge,
I'm warden yates.
48
00:02:15,166 --> 00:02:16,415
How do you do?
49
00:02:16,416 --> 00:02:17,624
This is our
manager, Mr. Kincaid.
50
00:02:17,625 --> 00:02:18,707
Mister Kincaid. Warden.
51
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My family.
52
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I'm so glad you could make it.
53
00:02:21,291 --> 00:02:22,665
I'll have some of the trusties
54
00:02:22,666 --> 00:02:24,124
unload your equipment.
55
00:02:24,125 --> 00:02:25,540
Oh, thank you. We
appreciate your help.
56
00:02:25,541 --> 00:02:26,541
Not at all.
57
00:02:28,791 --> 00:02:30,415
Hank, I really got
to hand it to you.
58
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:31,832
You said you'd get them here,
59
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and you did it.
60
00:02:32,916 --> 00:02:34,165
Child's play.
61
00:02:34,166 --> 00:02:35,332
Getting them here is one thing,
62
00:02:35,333 --> 00:02:36,499
but how do you know
63
00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:37,665
they're gonna talk to you?
64
00:02:37,666 --> 00:02:39,165
Take my word for it.
65
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They're gonna talk to me,
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00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:42,165
or they're not
leaving the prison.
67
00:02:42,166 --> 00:02:43,957
How do you plan on
keeping them here?
68
00:02:43,958 --> 00:02:46,999
Keep it under your hat.
69
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,125
I bribed a guard
to lock all the doors.
70
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:57,541
[♪♪♪]
71
00:03:03,666 --> 00:03:05,665
I hope you don't mind
using the doctor's office.
72
00:03:05,666 --> 00:03:06,999
Not at all.
73
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,874
I hope we're not
putting the doctor out.
74
00:03:08,875 --> 00:03:10,874
No, he'll be busy in the
hospital wards all day.
75
00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:12,832
Now, right through here
are examination rooms.
76
00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:14,207
You can use them to change in.
77
00:03:14,208 --> 00:03:16,624
Oh, I wanted a real cell.
78
00:03:16,625 --> 00:03:18,832
You have a warped
sense of standards.
79
00:03:18,833 --> 00:03:19,999
It's not that.
80
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,415
He's always wanted bunk beds.
81
00:03:21,416 --> 00:03:22,832
There'll be a guard
outside the door
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at all times.
83
00:03:24,041 --> 00:03:25,665
If you should need anything,
84
00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:27,165
don't hesitate to ask.
85
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We won't.
86
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,707
Thank you for
everything, warden.
87
00:03:30,708 --> 00:03:31,874
All right, kids, it's late.
88
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You'd better get changed.
89
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,082
[Drumming]
90
00:03:35,083 --> 00:03:37,333
Don't do that.
91
00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:42,540
Uh, that's the bass speaker.
92
00:03:42,541 --> 00:03:44,540
It should be hooked up
to the number two amp.
93
00:03:44,541 --> 00:03:47,332
I know it's the bass speaker,
and this is the number two amp.
94
00:03:47,333 --> 00:03:48,749
Oh.
95
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:50,582
Just a helpful suggestion.
96
00:03:50,583 --> 00:03:53,707
If it wasn't for your
helpful suggestions,
97
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I'd be done now.
98
00:03:55,291 --> 00:03:56,625
Just get off my back.
99
00:03:59,666 --> 00:04:01,665
Take my advice.
100
00:04:01,666 --> 00:04:03,290
If I were you, I'd
take his advice.
101
00:04:03,291 --> 00:04:04,291
He runs the prison.
102
00:04:04,292 --> 00:04:05,874
Who are you?
103
00:04:05,875 --> 00:04:07,290
I'm Hank beuford.
104
00:04:07,291 --> 00:04:08,832
I'm the one that
invited the partridges.
105
00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:10,624
So, you're the one
that got us into this.
106
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:12,874
I'm Reuben Kincaid,
their manager.
107
00:04:12,875 --> 00:04:14,082
Yeah, I know.
108
00:04:14,083 --> 00:04:15,582
Listen, it's very important
109
00:04:15,583 --> 00:04:17,499
that I talk to the
head partridge.
110
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,582
Well, I'm sorry. They're
dressing right now.
111
00:04:19,583 --> 00:04:21,040
That Jack goes into channel one.
112
00:04:21,041 --> 00:04:22,999
I know what I'm doing.
113
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Stop being an old lady.
114
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It's my job to be an old lady.
115
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:28,707
I've had it with you
116
00:04:28,708 --> 00:04:29,790
and your job.
117
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,874
I don't take orders.
118
00:04:31,875 --> 00:04:33,499
I give them. Absolutely right.
119
00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,124
You obviously know
what you're doing,
120
00:04:35,125 --> 00:04:36,707
so you don't have
to take orders.
121
00:04:36,708 --> 00:04:38,290
Don't order this man
around, understand?
122
00:04:38,291 --> 00:04:39,915
If anybody gives
you any more trouble,
123
00:04:39,916 --> 00:04:41,124
you send them to me.
124
00:04:41,125 --> 00:04:43,040
I'll have to send them to you.
125
00:04:43,041 --> 00:04:44,875
They ain't gonna walk to you.
126
00:04:52,541 --> 00:04:53,832
That is the meanest looking man
127
00:04:53,833 --> 00:04:55,040
I've ever seen.
128
00:04:55,041 --> 00:04:56,624
It's all a front.
129
00:04:56,625 --> 00:04:59,207
Underneath that rough
exterior, he's rotten to the core.
130
00:04:59,208 --> 00:05:00,999
Oh.
131
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,207
Well, I guess you can't
judge a book by its cover.
132
00:05:03,208 --> 00:05:05,457
Yeah. Now, about me
talking to the partridges...
133
00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:07,332
Don't bother me right now.
134
00:05:07,333 --> 00:05:09,416
I'm right in the middle
of a nervous breakdown.
135
00:05:10,958 --> 00:05:13,000
[Playing "singing my song"]
136
00:05:17,833 --> 00:05:21,165
♪ Singing it out to the people ♪
137
00:05:21,166 --> 00:05:24,499
♪ singing it out to them all ♪
138
00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:28,457
♪ singing my song and
they're singing along ♪
139
00:05:28,458 --> 00:05:31,665
♪ all of my problems
are, oh, so small ♪
140
00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:34,624
♪ all of my problems
are so small ♪
141
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,665
♪ I say dum, bah-Dee-dum ♪
142
00:05:36,666 --> 00:05:38,290
♪ bah-Dee-dum
bah-Dee-dah-Dee-ooh-dum ♪
143
00:05:38,291 --> 00:05:40,082
♪ bah-Dee-dum,
bah-Dee-dum bah-Dee-dum ♪
144
00:05:40,083 --> 00:05:41,874
♪ bah-Dee-dah-Doe ♪
145
00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:44,582
♪ bah-Dee-dum, bah-Dee-dum
bah-Dee-dah-Dee-ooh-dum ♪
146
00:05:44,583 --> 00:05:48,957
♪ bah-Dee-dum, bah-Dee-dum
bah-Dee-dah-Doe ♪
147
00:05:48,958 --> 00:05:52,290
♪ doo, Dee-doo-doo
doo, doo, doo-doo-doo ♪
148
00:05:52,291 --> 00:05:55,374
♪ I'm singing ♪
149
00:05:55,375 --> 00:05:57,165
♪ I'm just singing ♪
150
00:05:57,166 --> 00:05:59,415
♪ doo, doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
151
00:05:59,416 --> 00:06:02,749
♪ doo, Dee-doo-doo doo,
doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪
152
00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:04,290
♪ this I know ♪
153
00:06:04,291 --> 00:06:07,207
♪ I know when our
heart sinks low ♪
154
00:06:07,208 --> 00:06:08,915
♪ so low, so low ♪
155
00:06:08,916 --> 00:06:12,082
♪ we can turn to one another ♪
156
00:06:12,083 --> 00:06:16,374
♪ 'cause our love is strong
and we can't go wrong ♪
157
00:06:16,375 --> 00:06:19,249
♪ bah, Dee-Dee-dum
bah-Dee-dah-Dee-ooh-dum ♪
158
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:22,332
♪ bah-Dee-dum, bah-Dee-dum
bah-Dee-dah-Doe ♪
159
00:06:22,333 --> 00:06:24,540
♪ bah-Dee-dum bah-Dee-dum ♪
160
00:06:24,541 --> 00:06:26,582
♪ bah-Dee-dah- Dee-ooh-dum ♪
161
00:06:26,583 --> 00:06:29,082
♪ bah-Dee-dum, bah-Dee-dum
bah-Dee-dah-Doe ♪♪
162
00:06:29,083 --> 00:06:33,333
[Cheering and applause]
163
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:37,749
Wow, listen to that.
164
00:06:37,750 --> 00:06:38,832
Yeah, I know.
165
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,666
It's like a walled-in Woodstock.
166
00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:47,915
Thank you.
167
00:06:47,916 --> 00:06:49,415
Thank you very much.
168
00:06:49,416 --> 00:06:50,874
I can honestly say
169
00:06:50,875 --> 00:06:52,915
you're the best
audience we've ever had,
170
00:06:52,916 --> 00:06:54,499
but then, we've never appeared
171
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,499
before a captive
audience before.
172
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:59,999
[Laughing]
173
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,915
I can't imagine what
it's like to be a convict,
174
00:07:03,916 --> 00:07:08,624
but I think in some real
way, we're all prisoners.
175
00:07:08,625 --> 00:07:11,625
[Applause]
176
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,375
[Playing "only a moment ago"]
177
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:29,375
♪ Why has the music stopped? ♪
178
00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:35,749
♪ Where did all the
happy people go? ♪
179
00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:40,957
♪ I know they were
there songs everywhere ♪
180
00:07:40,958 --> 00:07:45,540
♪ only a moment ago ♪
181
00:07:45,541 --> 00:07:48,249
♪ I only blinked my eyes ♪
182
00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,749
♪ I only blinked my eyes ♪
183
00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:53,165
♪ and now the world ♪
184
00:07:53,166 --> 00:07:54,832
♪ that I used to know ♪
185
00:07:54,833 --> 00:07:57,207
♪ is changing on me ♪
186
00:07:57,208 --> 00:08:00,249
♪ why can't it be ♪
187
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:04,499
♪ only a moment ago? ♪
188
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,082
♪ Only a moment ago ♪
189
00:08:07,083 --> 00:08:09,832
♪ only a moment ago ♪
190
00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:13,749
♪ it was spring
and I was singing ♪
191
00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:18,915
♪ only a moment ago ♪
192
00:08:18,916 --> 00:08:23,457
♪ I could see where
the road would lead ♪
193
00:08:23,458 --> 00:08:28,083
♪ and what tomorrow
was bringing ♪
194
00:08:30,291 --> 00:08:32,874
♪ why has the music stopped? ♪
195
00:08:32,875 --> 00:08:35,790
♪ Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪
196
00:08:35,791 --> 00:08:39,624
♪ where did all the
happy people go? ♪
197
00:08:39,625 --> 00:08:41,790
♪ I know they were there ♪
198
00:08:41,791 --> 00:08:44,207
♪ I know they were there ♪
199
00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:46,707
♪ songs everywhere ♪
200
00:08:46,708 --> 00:08:49,082
♪ songs everywhere ♪
201
00:08:49,083 --> 00:08:53,166
♪ only a moment ago ♪
202
00:08:56,416 --> 00:09:01,041
♪ why has the music stopped? ♪♪
203
00:09:16,083 --> 00:09:17,499
Where is everybody?
204
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:19,249
Hey, you can't come in here.
205
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:20,665
You're a prisoner.
206
00:09:20,666 --> 00:09:22,665
I'm also a hospital orderly.
207
00:09:22,666 --> 00:09:25,082
How come you keep showing up?
208
00:09:25,083 --> 00:09:27,499
Who are you?
209
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,749
Who is he? Who are you?
210
00:09:29,750 --> 00:09:31,040
Hey, listen,
211
00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:32,874
I've got to talk
to the partridges.
212
00:09:32,875 --> 00:09:34,790
They're changing clothes.
213
00:09:34,791 --> 00:09:36,040
Again?
214
00:09:36,041 --> 00:09:37,665
Well, never mind. I'll wait.
215
00:09:37,666 --> 00:09:39,082
What for?
216
00:09:39,083 --> 00:09:40,332
To wave goodbye?
217
00:09:40,333 --> 00:09:42,915
We're leaving.
218
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,249
So that's it, huh? Sing and run.
219
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:48,207
Look, I went to a lot of trouble
to get them to hear my music.
220
00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:50,332
I only think it's
fair that they listen.
221
00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:52,499
You managed to set
this whole thing up
222
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,499
so you could sell
them some songs?
223
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:55,915
Songs?
224
00:09:55,916 --> 00:09:59,415
Did bach and
Beethoven write "songs"?
225
00:09:59,416 --> 00:10:01,250
I write lyrical symphonies...
226
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:04,999
But commercial.
227
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,915
Look, fella,
228
00:10:06,916 --> 00:10:08,540
there are thousands
229
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,540
of bachs and
beethovens like you.
230
00:10:10,541 --> 00:10:12,374
If I let all you guys past,
231
00:10:12,375 --> 00:10:14,249
they'd never get to
sing another note.
232
00:10:14,250 --> 00:10:16,125
I'm sorry.
233
00:10:18,416 --> 00:10:20,791
Okay. I can take a hint.
234
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:25,499
Face it.
235
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,332
You're not gonna
get to see them.
236
00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:28,832
Yes, I will.
237
00:10:28,833 --> 00:10:30,832
It's time for the next step.
238
00:10:30,833 --> 00:10:32,915
We're really gonna do it, huh?
239
00:10:32,916 --> 00:10:34,915
Did I tell you they
ain't leaving this prison
240
00:10:34,916 --> 00:10:36,332
till they see my songs?
241
00:10:36,333 --> 00:10:37,458
Match.
242
00:10:56,458 --> 00:10:57,499
Now?
243
00:10:57,500 --> 00:10:59,457
Now.
244
00:10:59,458 --> 00:11:01,165
Oh!
245
00:11:01,166 --> 00:11:02,999
What's wrong?
He's had an attack.
246
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,457
I don't know what it is. I
better take his temperature.
247
00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:06,624
You burnt my lip.
248
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:08,082
Rest and think of antibiotics.
249
00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:09,499
Where does it hurt, son?
250
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:10,957
All over.
251
00:11:10,958 --> 00:11:13,165
My body's all aching
and racked with pain,
252
00:11:13,166 --> 00:11:15,249
and I think I'm getting
a blister on my lip.
253
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,165
He's burning up.
254
00:11:17,166 --> 00:11:18,415
124?
255
00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:22,124
Four. 104. You
didn't read it right.
256
00:11:22,125 --> 00:11:23,790
Am I gonna be all right, doc?
257
00:11:23,791 --> 00:11:25,124
I don't know.
258
00:11:25,125 --> 00:11:26,749
Have you been around
any sick people lately?
259
00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:28,415
No, but I was over in the lab,
260
00:11:28,416 --> 00:11:29,874
where they're experimenting
261
00:11:29,875 --> 00:11:31,332
with all those new
drugs and stuff.
262
00:11:31,333 --> 00:11:32,957
You went over there
without a vaccination?
263
00:11:32,958 --> 00:11:34,040
What drugs and stuff?
264
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,041
You haven't heard about it?
265
00:11:35,042 --> 00:11:36,499
No.
266
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:38,499
You mean you haven't
had a vaccination either?
267
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,207
What's with all the yelling?
268
00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:41,832
This man has been exposed to...
269
00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:43,457
What has he been exposed to?
270
00:11:43,458 --> 00:11:45,415
Well, you see, the
doctors are experimenting
271
00:11:45,416 --> 00:11:47,415
with some cures for
different diseases.
272
00:11:47,416 --> 00:11:48,790
What diseases?
273
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,207
What's wrong with this man?
274
00:11:50,208 --> 00:11:51,832
We'll know that
after a few tests,
275
00:11:51,833 --> 00:11:53,457
which should take
a couple of days,
276
00:11:53,458 --> 00:11:54,665
but in the meantime,
277
00:11:54,666 --> 00:11:56,082
I'm afraid we're gonna have
278
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,499
to quarantine the whole prison.
279
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:59,040
What?
280
00:11:59,041 --> 00:12:01,040
If it's contagious, we don't
want to start an epidemic.
281
00:12:01,041 --> 00:12:03,124
You mean, we're going
to have to stay here?
282
00:12:03,125 --> 00:12:05,040
We can't show you
any special privileges.
283
00:12:05,041 --> 00:12:06,249
That's a statement
284
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:07,915
you hear a lot around here.
285
00:12:07,916 --> 00:12:09,332
You mean, we're
actually stuck here?
286
00:12:09,333 --> 00:12:11,124
Well, I am sorry.
287
00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:13,457
The doctor thinks
it's probably nothing.
288
00:12:13,458 --> 00:12:15,874
Maybe just the flu,
289
00:12:15,875 --> 00:12:19,499
but we cannot afford
to take the chance.
290
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:21,165
How long do we have to stay?
291
00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:22,832
A day or two.
292
00:12:22,833 --> 00:12:24,207
The tests should
be back by then.
293
00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:25,707
That's just great.
294
00:12:25,708 --> 00:12:27,374
Well, it is inconvenient,
295
00:12:27,375 --> 00:12:29,832
but we can't take a chance
on spreading the epidemic.
296
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,665
I'm glad you
understand the situation.
297
00:12:31,666 --> 00:12:33,290
We do have a problem
298
00:12:33,291 --> 00:12:34,874
with sleeping arrangements.
299
00:12:34,875 --> 00:12:36,874
We can fit you and
some of the kids
300
00:12:36,875 --> 00:12:38,874
into the doctor's office...
301
00:12:38,875 --> 00:12:42,416
Where am I gonna sleep?
302
00:12:43,916 --> 00:12:45,540
Why me?
303
00:12:45,541 --> 00:12:48,040
Why am I the one who
gets caged up like an animal?
304
00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:50,040
Because there was
only enough room
305
00:12:50,041 --> 00:12:51,499
in the doctor's office
306
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:53,499
for mom, Laurie, and
the kids, that's why.
307
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:54,500
Yeah.
308
00:12:54,501 --> 00:12:55,915
Like the warden said,
309
00:12:55,916 --> 00:12:58,165
there's only enough
sleeping facilities
310
00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:00,165
for the permanent guests.
311
00:13:00,166 --> 00:13:02,040
But to be locked up in a cage,
312
00:13:02,041 --> 00:13:04,957
surrounded by thugs
and murderers...
313
00:13:04,958 --> 00:13:06,707
Someone had to
sleep in the cell.
314
00:13:06,708 --> 00:13:07,957
Would you rather it be mom?
315
00:13:07,958 --> 00:13:09,457
Of course not.
316
00:13:09,458 --> 00:13:11,124
It should have been Chris.
317
00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:12,749
Come on.
318
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:15,207
Well, he wanted
to sleep in a cell.
319
00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:18,332
Besides, he's more
antisocial than me.
320
00:13:18,333 --> 00:13:20,332
Look at the bright
side, Mr. Kincaid.
321
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,290
Since mom isn't here,
we can all stay up late.
322
00:13:23,291 --> 00:13:25,540
It's not bad enough
I'm locked up in a cell.
323
00:13:25,541 --> 00:13:29,124
I have to be trapped
with a pre-acne insomniac.
324
00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:30,540
Hey, you.
325
00:13:30,541 --> 00:13:32,624
Who, me?
326
00:13:32,625 --> 00:13:33,999
Yeah.
327
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,999
You're new in here, ain't you?
328
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,957
Just got in today.
329
00:13:37,958 --> 00:13:39,624
What you in here for?
330
00:13:39,625 --> 00:13:42,040
Well, we're hoping
it's just the flu.
331
00:13:42,041 --> 00:13:44,915
You're in here for the flu?
332
00:13:44,916 --> 00:13:45,916
Well...
333
00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:47,915
Hey, Joe!
334
00:13:47,916 --> 00:13:49,915
They got a guy in here
'cause he got the flu.
335
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,540
Joe: That's what they all say.
336
00:13:51,541 --> 00:13:53,457
I'm in here for mumps myself.
337
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,832
Hope you get better.
338
00:13:55,833 --> 00:13:57,957
Hey, it's a kid.
339
00:13:57,958 --> 00:14:00,999
Hey, Joe, it's a little kid.
340
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,499
Don't tell me.
341
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:05,957
Hey, I'll bet he's in
for adult molesting.
342
00:14:05,958 --> 00:14:07,957
No. I'm in here for the flu too.
343
00:14:07,958 --> 00:14:09,957
Well, we hope it's
nothing worse than the flu.
344
00:14:09,958 --> 00:14:11,374
If it's your first offense,
345
00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:13,040
they might let you off with flu.
346
00:14:13,041 --> 00:14:14,665
Maybe they'll drop the charges
347
00:14:14,666 --> 00:14:16,665
to a common cold.
348
00:14:16,666 --> 00:14:17,999
Hey.
349
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,499
You guys sure
got a rotten lawyer.
350
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:24,874
Either that or a rotten doctor.
351
00:14:24,875 --> 00:14:26,166
[Laughing]
352
00:14:28,583 --> 00:14:31,999
Hey, take two aspirins
and go to prison.
353
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,082
All right, all right.
354
00:14:33,083 --> 00:14:34,207
Lights out in 10 minutes.
355
00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:36,207
Lights out in 10 minutes.
356
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:37,832
You'll have to excuse me.
357
00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:39,665
I have to make my bed.
358
00:14:39,666 --> 00:14:40,999
What's the matter?
359
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,707
Didn't the maid come today?
360
00:14:42,708 --> 00:14:44,499
[Both laughing]
361
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:46,624
Are all these cells locked?
362
00:14:46,625 --> 00:14:48,082
Sure.
363
00:14:48,083 --> 00:14:49,165
You're sure?
364
00:14:49,166 --> 00:14:50,915
Positive.
365
00:14:50,916 --> 00:14:53,291
You're not funny, fella.
366
00:14:56,583 --> 00:14:58,790
Hey, don't forget to tuck in
the bottoms of your blankets.
367
00:14:58,791 --> 00:15:00,874
[Laughing]
368
00:15:00,875 --> 00:15:02,540
Don't pay any attention
to him, Mr. Kincaid.
369
00:15:02,541 --> 00:15:05,957
All these lifers
like to poke fun.
370
00:15:05,958 --> 00:15:08,457
I'm not paying any
attention to him.
371
00:15:08,458 --> 00:15:09,832
Help me tuck in
372
00:15:09,833 --> 00:15:12,082
the bottoms of my blankets.
373
00:15:12,083 --> 00:15:14,457
You know, this really isn't bad.
374
00:15:14,458 --> 00:15:16,124
No, it's great.
375
00:15:16,125 --> 00:15:17,374
Cozy room. Good company.
376
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,499
Wish I lived here permanently,
377
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,915
so I could ask for
a stay of execution.
378
00:15:21,916 --> 00:15:25,040
No, that trusty, Hank, gave
me some songs he wrote.
379
00:15:25,041 --> 00:15:26,874
They're really pretty good.
380
00:15:26,875 --> 00:15:28,499
Wonderful.
381
00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:30,665
Who needs songs about
how to commit armed robbery?
382
00:15:30,666 --> 00:15:32,165
They're love ballads.
383
00:15:32,166 --> 00:15:33,790
A couple of them are so good,
384
00:15:33,791 --> 00:15:35,165
I think we ought to record them.
385
00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:38,415
Listen to this.
386
00:15:38,416 --> 00:15:40,415
[Plays a chord]
387
00:15:40,416 --> 00:15:45,832
♪ I try in so many
different ways ♪
388
00:15:45,833 --> 00:15:47,499
♪ to say ♪
389
00:15:47,500 --> 00:15:51,874
♪ just the words
that I mean to say ♪
390
00:15:51,875 --> 00:15:54,040
♪ I sing from my heart ♪
391
00:15:54,041 --> 00:15:56,749
♪ but we're so far apart ♪
392
00:15:56,750 --> 00:15:59,999
♪ and all my love
is here in my song ♪
393
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,540
♪ but then, you don't
believe in love songs ♪
394
00:16:03,541 --> 00:16:04,915
♪ love songs ♪
395
00:16:04,916 --> 00:16:09,040
♪ you say my song
cannot be true ♪♪
396
00:16:09,041 --> 00:16:10,125
[Clapping]
397
00:16:13,166 --> 00:16:14,207
Hey.
398
00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:15,791
Play "born free."
399
00:16:20,458 --> 00:16:21,915
I'm going to bed.
400
00:16:21,916 --> 00:16:24,208
"Born free."
401
00:16:26,916 --> 00:16:28,124
Hey, that's funny!
402
00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:29,540
Yeah. Do it again.
403
00:16:29,541 --> 00:16:31,333
Do it again.
404
00:16:34,125 --> 00:16:36,665
This bed belongs in a prison.
405
00:16:36,666 --> 00:16:38,540
It won't go straight.
406
00:16:38,541 --> 00:16:39,665
[Chuckles]
407
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,082
It won't go straight.
408
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,083
[Laughs]
409
00:16:57,541 --> 00:16:59,665
Can I have some
more syrup, please?
410
00:16:59,666 --> 00:17:00,957
After me.
411
00:17:00,958 --> 00:17:02,374
Can I have some more hotcakes?
412
00:17:02,375 --> 00:17:04,249
And I hope you
had a pleasant night.
413
00:17:04,250 --> 00:17:06,124
Oh, very educational.
414
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:07,999
I've discovered there
is a negative side
415
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,415
to communal living.
416
00:17:09,416 --> 00:17:11,832
I gather you had
an unpleasant night.
417
00:17:11,833 --> 00:17:13,457
It was all right,
418
00:17:13,458 --> 00:17:16,582
if you don't mind
sleeping in the round.
419
00:17:16,583 --> 00:17:18,082
Did you look at my songs?
420
00:17:18,083 --> 00:17:20,957
Yeah, I did, and I liked them.
421
00:17:20,958 --> 00:17:22,665
He even wants us to record some.
422
00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:23,832
You're kidding.
423
00:17:23,833 --> 00:17:25,415
I can't believe it.
424
00:17:25,416 --> 00:17:26,999
That's more than I
could have hoped for.
425
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,332
Not if they're as
good as Keith says.
426
00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:31,915
When did western union
start sending "pancakegrams"?
427
00:17:31,916 --> 00:17:33,332
What is it?
428
00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:34,750
A note.
429
00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:38,207
What does it say?
430
00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:41,249
It says, "partridges, if
you try to get away with it,
431
00:17:41,250 --> 00:17:43,749
"you won't...
432
00:17:43,750 --> 00:17:47,000
Live long enough to regret it."
433
00:17:50,708 --> 00:17:53,000
Let me see that.
434
00:17:56,416 --> 00:17:58,582
It's a threatening
note, all right.
435
00:17:58,583 --> 00:17:59,915
What is it
436
00:17:59,916 --> 00:18:01,499
we can't get away with?
437
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:03,499
This must be some
kind of bad joke.
438
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,540
Maybe so, but I wouldn't
take any chances.
439
00:18:05,541 --> 00:18:07,540
You should leave
the prison right away.
440
00:18:07,541 --> 00:18:09,124
I vote for leaving.
441
00:18:09,125 --> 00:18:11,915
We can't leave. We're
under quarantine.
442
00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:13,874
Don't worry about that.
443
00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:15,957
Well, I would say it's
definitely an obstacle.
444
00:18:15,958 --> 00:18:17,165
Not really.
445
00:18:17,166 --> 00:18:18,624
You mean the tests
have come back
446
00:18:18,625 --> 00:18:19,999
and there's no epidemic?
447
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,374
Uh, well, the, uh...
448
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:23,374
Test results haven't
come back yet,
449
00:18:23,375 --> 00:18:24,665
but there's no epidemic.
450
00:18:24,666 --> 00:18:27,082
How would you know that?
451
00:18:27,083 --> 00:18:30,040
Don't get mad, but I had to
keep you here long enough
452
00:18:30,041 --> 00:18:32,165
so you could look at the songs.
453
00:18:32,166 --> 00:18:34,040
You mean you faked
this whole thing?
454
00:18:34,041 --> 00:18:35,665
You're getting mad.
You're darn right I'm mad.
455
00:18:35,666 --> 00:18:37,165
Have another flapjack.
456
00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:38,790
Why? So you can give
me another installment
457
00:18:38,791 --> 00:18:40,207
to your threatening letter?
458
00:18:40,208 --> 00:18:42,082
I swear I don't know
anything about that.
459
00:18:42,083 --> 00:18:44,123
Somebody in the kitchen
must have put that in there.
460
00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:48,624
I believe him.
461
00:18:48,625 --> 00:18:50,665
Oh, you believe him.
462
00:18:50,666 --> 00:18:53,415
He's been lying to
us since we got here.
463
00:18:53,416 --> 00:18:56,125
Well, he... He looks like
he has an honest face.
464
00:18:57,625 --> 00:18:58,874
An honest...?
465
00:18:58,875 --> 00:19:00,915
Do you know where we are?
466
00:19:00,916 --> 00:19:04,374
If Hank didn't write the
note, then who did, and why?
467
00:19:04,375 --> 00:19:06,415
Maybe someone has us mixed up
468
00:19:06,416 --> 00:19:08,415
with another partridge family.
469
00:19:08,416 --> 00:19:09,665
It doesn't matter.
470
00:19:09,666 --> 00:19:10,832
We're leaving now.
471
00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:12,207
I'm going to tell the warden
472
00:19:12,208 --> 00:19:13,750
that his epidemic
didn't pan out.
473
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:19,832
Is the warden's office close by?
474
00:19:19,833 --> 00:19:21,040
Yes, ma'am.
475
00:19:21,041 --> 00:19:22,124
It's just around the corner.
476
00:19:22,125 --> 00:19:23,375
Thank you.
477
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,749
You got a match?
478
00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:31,374
No, I don't.
479
00:19:31,375 --> 00:19:33,832
[Whispering] Don't scream.
480
00:19:33,833 --> 00:19:36,124
[Whispering] Why
should I scream?
481
00:19:36,125 --> 00:19:38,124
Because I'm about
to threaten you.
482
00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:39,874
Oh.
483
00:19:39,875 --> 00:19:42,499
Did you get my letter?
484
00:19:42,500 --> 00:19:44,582
So you sent that note.
485
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:47,207
Is this some kind of joke?
486
00:19:47,208 --> 00:19:49,707
The note wasn't sealed
with a kiss, was it?
487
00:19:49,708 --> 00:19:51,082
No.
488
00:19:51,083 --> 00:19:52,749
Just maple syrup.
489
00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:54,374
What's this all about?
490
00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:57,415
I don't know how you got
a hold of my songs, lady,
491
00:19:57,416 --> 00:19:58,665
but you ain't gonna get away
492
00:19:58,666 --> 00:19:59,874
with stealing them.
493
00:19:59,875 --> 00:20:01,707
Your songs?
494
00:20:01,708 --> 00:20:04,332
I heard your kid singing
them in the cell last night.
495
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:08,749
You claim to have written
those tender love songs?
496
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:11,124
You saying I ain't tender?
497
00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:13,957
No.
498
00:20:13,958 --> 00:20:16,832
Those suggestions I
made about your act, lady.
499
00:20:16,833 --> 00:20:20,083
You'd be smart to listen to me.
500
00:20:22,916 --> 00:20:24,707
I'm telling you, I
wrote the songs.
501
00:20:24,708 --> 00:20:26,624
Why would he
claim he wrote them?
502
00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:28,915
It must have leaked out
that you're gonna buy them
503
00:20:28,916 --> 00:20:31,665
and he just wanted to
cash in on a good thing.
504
00:20:31,666 --> 00:20:33,665
Only a crook would
do a thing like that.
505
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:36,415
Haven't you heard?
The place is full of them.
506
00:20:36,416 --> 00:20:38,415
You got to believe me.
507
00:20:38,416 --> 00:20:39,832
I need that money.
508
00:20:39,833 --> 00:20:41,832
I'm getting out of
here in a few months,
509
00:20:41,833 --> 00:20:44,165
and that money would
help me get a new start.
510
00:20:44,166 --> 00:20:47,749
Don't let Max
cheat me out of that.
511
00:20:47,750 --> 00:20:51,457
Hank, we have to have
a little family conference.
512
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:54,207
I think that's a nice
way of saying, "get lost."
513
00:20:54,208 --> 00:20:56,874
Oh, I'm always
trying to get lost,
514
00:20:56,875 --> 00:20:59,040
and the guards are
always finding me.
515
00:20:59,041 --> 00:21:00,415
I hope we believe you.
516
00:21:00,416 --> 00:21:02,291
Thanks, kid.
517
00:21:05,750 --> 00:21:07,207
Well?
518
00:21:07,208 --> 00:21:08,999
I'd like to believe
Hank wrote them.
519
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,999
I'd like to believe Max did.
520
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,124
I thought you
were afraid of Max.
521
00:21:13,125 --> 00:21:14,624
I am.
522
00:21:14,625 --> 00:21:17,332
That's why I vote we
buy the songs from him.
523
00:21:17,333 --> 00:21:19,332
Actually, there's
no way of knowing.
524
00:21:19,333 --> 00:21:21,540
We can't be sure who
wrote those songs.
525
00:21:21,541 --> 00:21:22,665
I vote for Hank.
526
00:21:22,666 --> 00:21:24,707
I vote against Tracy.
527
00:21:24,708 --> 00:21:26,499
Reuben: I vote for
breaking out of this joint.
528
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:27,874
Laurie: You're a reactionary.
529
00:21:27,875 --> 00:21:30,040
With both feet.
530
00:21:30,041 --> 00:21:32,957
Maybe there is a way.
531
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:34,499
What's the idea?
532
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:37,540
We'll put each of
you alone in a room
533
00:21:37,541 --> 00:21:39,249
for a couple of hours,
534
00:21:39,250 --> 00:21:40,915
and see which one writes a song.
535
00:21:40,916 --> 00:21:43,124
I'm willing. I've
got nothing to lose.
536
00:21:43,125 --> 00:21:44,707
You've got your face to lose.
537
00:21:44,708 --> 00:21:45,790
Warden: That's enough.
538
00:21:45,791 --> 00:21:48,208
Are you going to do it or not?
539
00:21:50,166 --> 00:21:53,166
I don't like it, but I'll do it.
540
00:21:57,791 --> 00:21:59,040
Hmm. It isn't bad,
541
00:21:59,041 --> 00:22:00,874
but it's not really the quality
542
00:22:00,875 --> 00:22:02,332
of the other songs.
543
00:22:02,333 --> 00:22:04,332
Sorry, but it takes me
more than two hours
544
00:22:04,333 --> 00:22:06,374
to work up to my genius stage.
545
00:22:06,375 --> 00:22:08,500
Here's mine.
546
00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:12,082
Hmm.
547
00:22:12,083 --> 00:22:13,332
This is beautiful.
548
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:15,457
I knew you'd like it.
549
00:22:15,458 --> 00:22:20,374
In fact, it was my favorite song
when it first came out in 1956.
550
00:22:20,375 --> 00:22:21,750
You must be mistaken.
551
00:22:27,291 --> 00:22:29,290
The only other song
I knew all the lyrics to
552
00:22:29,291 --> 00:22:30,915
was "the old rugged cross"
553
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:32,082
and I figured you knew that.
554
00:22:32,083 --> 00:22:34,957
Nice try, Hank.
555
00:22:34,958 --> 00:22:36,250
I told you I wrote them.
556
00:22:37,541 --> 00:22:39,290
I'm very sorry we doubted you,
557
00:22:39,291 --> 00:22:41,874
but we still want
to use the songs,
558
00:22:41,875 --> 00:22:44,165
and I promise
you'll get full credit.
559
00:22:44,166 --> 00:22:45,665
I don't want to give those songs
560
00:22:45,666 --> 00:22:47,124
to anyone.
561
00:22:47,125 --> 00:22:49,457
I wrote them for my girl, Rosie.
562
00:22:49,458 --> 00:22:50,541
Just for her.
563
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,665
But they're so beautiful.
564
00:22:53,666 --> 00:22:56,832
I'm sure she wouldn't
mind if they were published.
565
00:22:56,833 --> 00:22:58,249
Look at it this way.
566
00:22:58,250 --> 00:23:00,665
The cons aren't
gonna respect anyone
567
00:23:00,666 --> 00:23:02,665
they got to sing along with.
568
00:23:02,666 --> 00:23:03,957
That's true.
569
00:23:03,958 --> 00:23:05,874
They'd hum him
right out of prison.
570
00:23:05,875 --> 00:23:07,750
I have a simple solution.
571
00:23:09,041 --> 00:23:10,665
You could use another name.
572
00:23:10,666 --> 00:23:13,208
Lady, that's what
I'm in here for.
573
00:23:14,708 --> 00:23:16,374
You can do it legal.
574
00:23:16,375 --> 00:23:19,540
You just got to avoid
names like Nelson rockefeller.
575
00:23:19,541 --> 00:23:21,165
No one would know?
576
00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:23,165
You don't have to tell anybody.
577
00:23:23,166 --> 00:23:25,082
I think Rosie would like
578
00:23:25,083 --> 00:23:27,082
to have her songs on the radio.
579
00:23:27,083 --> 00:23:28,707
Lady, you got a deal. Good.
580
00:23:28,708 --> 00:23:30,707
I'll make arrangements
with the warden.
581
00:23:30,708 --> 00:23:33,165
Listen, if you can't
think of a name,
582
00:23:33,166 --> 00:23:35,083
you're always
welcome to use mine.
583
00:23:45,750 --> 00:23:47,207
[Western playing on TV]
584
00:23:47,208 --> 00:23:49,499
Mom, am I doing this right?
585
00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:53,415
You'll waste less material if
you cut the sleeves this way.
586
00:23:53,416 --> 00:23:55,207
[Knocking]
587
00:23:55,208 --> 00:23:56,208
I'll get it.
588
00:23:56,209 --> 00:23:57,290
I'll get it.
589
00:23:57,291 --> 00:23:58,874
I said it first.
590
00:23:58,875 --> 00:24:00,957
Never mind. I'll get it.
591
00:24:00,958 --> 00:24:02,582
Hi. What brings you here?
592
00:24:02,583 --> 00:24:04,207
I just got back from prison.
593
00:24:04,208 --> 00:24:05,624
Picked up Max's contracts.
594
00:24:05,625 --> 00:24:06,874
Great. How was he?
595
00:24:06,875 --> 00:24:08,165
Got wonderful news.
596
00:24:08,166 --> 00:24:09,957
The warden pushed
up Max's parole.
597
00:24:09,958 --> 00:24:11,207
He gets out next month.
598
00:24:11,208 --> 00:24:12,290
Oh, that's marvelous.
599
00:24:12,291 --> 00:24:13,332
There's more.
600
00:24:13,333 --> 00:24:14,957
At the first possible date,
601
00:24:14,958 --> 00:24:16,957
Max and his girlfriend
Rosie are getting married
602
00:24:16,958 --> 00:24:18,957
and we are invited
to the wedding.
603
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:20,290
Oh. When's the wedding?
604
00:24:20,291 --> 00:24:23,165
Oh, seven months, two
weeks, and three days.
605
00:24:23,166 --> 00:24:25,999
You said they were getting
married as soon as possible.
606
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:27,415
Well, they are.
607
00:24:27,416 --> 00:24:29,499
Well, that's the day
Rosie gets out of jail.
608
00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:31,249
Rosie's in jail.
609
00:24:31,250 --> 00:24:32,665
[Laughs]
610
00:24:32,666 --> 00:24:33,833
[Reuben stops laughing]
611
00:24:36,750 --> 00:24:38,625
Well...
612
00:24:44,125 --> 00:24:46,375
[♪♪♪]
41711
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