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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,793 --> 00:00:05,275 [Partridge family theme playing] 2 00:00:10,068 --> 00:00:13,585 ♪ Come on now and meet everybody ♪ 3 00:00:13,586 --> 00:00:18,516 ♪ and hear us singing ♪ 4 00:00:18,517 --> 00:00:21,205 ♪ there's nothing better than being together ♪ 5 00:00:21,206 --> 00:00:26,895 ♪ when we're singing ♪ 6 00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:29,412 ♪ five of us and mom working all day ♪ 7 00:00:29,413 --> 00:00:33,654 ♪ we knew we could help her if our music would pay ♪ 8 00:00:33,655 --> 00:00:37,378 ♪ Danny got Reuben to sell our song ♪ 9 00:00:37,379 --> 00:00:40,067 ♪ and it really came together when mom sang along ♪ 10 00:00:40,068 --> 00:00:43,654 ♪ come on now and meet everybody ♪ 11 00:00:43,655 --> 00:00:48,102 ♪ and hear us singing ♪ 12 00:00:48,103 --> 00:00:51,930 ♪ there's nothing better than being together ♪ 13 00:00:51,931 --> 00:00:54,585 ♪ when we're singing ♪ 14 00:00:54,586 --> 00:00:58,654 ♪ when we're singing ♪ 15 00:00:58,655 --> 00:01:03,412 ♪ when we're singing ♪♪ 16 00:01:03,413 --> 00:01:06,274 ♪ ba, ba-ba-ba ♪ 17 00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:08,481 ♪ ba-ba, ba-ba-ba ♪ 18 00:01:08,482 --> 00:01:12,034 ♪ ba, ba-ba-ba, ba ♪ 19 00:01:13,827 --> 00:01:15,136 ♪ I'm sleeping ♪ 20 00:01:15,137 --> 00:01:17,343 ♪ and right in the middle of a good dream ♪ 21 00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,136 Shirley: It happened on the way to an engagement 22 00:01:19,137 --> 00:01:20,999 at the most exclusive hotel we had ever played. 23 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,723 We were using the luxury 24 00:01:22,724 --> 00:01:24,309 of an extra day between bookings 25 00:01:24,310 --> 00:01:25,964 to take advantage of nature. 26 00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:27,447 Unfortunately, 27 00:01:27,448 --> 00:01:29,447 it worked out the other way around. 28 00:01:29,448 --> 00:01:32,240 Nature took advantage of us. 29 00:01:32,241 --> 00:01:34,205 ♪ I think I love you ♪ 30 00:01:34,206 --> 00:01:36,205 ♪ I think I love you ♪ 31 00:01:36,206 --> 00:01:38,274 ♪ I think I love you ♪ 32 00:01:38,275 --> 00:01:40,654 ♪ so what am I so afraid of? ♪ 33 00:01:40,655 --> 00:01:43,102 ♪ I'm afraid that I'm not sure of ♪ 34 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,103 ♪ a love there is no cure for ♪ 35 00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:50,274 ♪ I think I love you ♪ 36 00:01:50,275 --> 00:01:53,654 ♪ isn't that what life is made of? ♪ 37 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,757 ♪ Though it worries me to say ♪ 38 00:01:55,758 --> 00:01:58,930 ♪ that I never felt this way ♪ 39 00:01:58,931 --> 00:02:01,137 [♪♪♪] 40 00:02:17,413 --> 00:02:18,792 ♪ Hey ♪ 41 00:02:18,793 --> 00:02:20,205 ♪ I think I love you ♪ 42 00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:22,481 ♪ so what am I so afraid of? ♪ 43 00:02:22,482 --> 00:02:24,516 ♪ I'm afraid that I'm not sure of ♪ 44 00:02:24,517 --> 00:02:27,206 ♪ a love there is no cure for ♪ 45 00:02:29,758 --> 00:02:31,792 ♪ I think I love you ♪ 46 00:02:31,793 --> 00:02:33,930 ♪ isn't that what life is made of? ♪ 47 00:02:33,931 --> 00:02:37,654 ♪ Though it worries me to say ♪ 48 00:02:37,655 --> 00:02:40,136 ♪ I never felt this way ♪ 49 00:02:40,137 --> 00:02:41,412 ♪ believe me ♪ 50 00:02:41,413 --> 00:02:43,723 ♪ you really Don't have to worry ♪ 51 00:02:43,724 --> 00:02:45,757 ♪ I only want to make you happy ♪ 52 00:02:45,758 --> 00:02:50,205 ♪ and if you say, "hey, go away," I will ♪ 53 00:02:50,206 --> 00:02:51,619 ♪ but I think better still ♪ 54 00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:53,964 ♪ I'd better stay around and love you ♪ 55 00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:56,516 ♪ do you think I have a case? ♪ 56 00:02:56,517 --> 00:02:58,481 ♪ Let me ask you to your face ♪ 57 00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:00,688 ♪ do you think you love me? ♪ 58 00:03:00,689 --> 00:03:03,033 ♪ I think I love you ♪ 59 00:03:03,034 --> 00:03:05,481 ♪ I think I love you ♪ 60 00:03:05,482 --> 00:03:07,688 ♪ I think I love you ♪ 61 00:03:07,689 --> 00:03:10,033 ♪ I think I love you ♪ 62 00:03:10,034 --> 00:03:12,067 ♪ I think I love you ♪ 63 00:03:12,068 --> 00:03:13,379 ♪ I think I love you ♪♪ 64 00:03:17,103 --> 00:03:18,516 Shirley: Oh, wasn't that fun? 65 00:03:18,517 --> 00:03:20,619 Keith: It must have been. I feel guilty. 66 00:03:20,620 --> 00:03:21,826 Laurie: Simone, will you stop squirming? 67 00:03:21,827 --> 00:03:23,171 What's the matter with you? 68 00:03:23,172 --> 00:03:24,550 Shirley: Why do you feel guilty? 69 00:03:24,551 --> 00:03:25,757 Keith: For not rehearsing. 70 00:03:25,758 --> 00:03:27,343 Maybe if we went over that new song 71 00:03:27,344 --> 00:03:28,585 a couple more times this afternoon, 72 00:03:28,586 --> 00:03:30,171 we can put it in our opening tomorrow. 73 00:03:30,172 --> 00:03:31,343 Laurie: Oh, my gosh. 74 00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:32,723 Shirley: What's the matter, Laurie? 75 00:03:32,724 --> 00:03:34,723 Look, I Don't want anyone to panicor anything, 76 00:03:34,724 --> 00:03:36,309 but there's a skunk sitting right behind me. 77 00:03:36,310 --> 00:03:37,310 A what, dear? 78 00:03:37,311 --> 00:03:38,378 A skunk, mother. 79 00:03:38,379 --> 00:03:39,895 [Brakes screech] 80 00:03:39,896 --> 00:03:44,689 [All shouting] 81 00:03:45,655 --> 00:03:47,551 [Simone barking] 82 00:03:51,275 --> 00:03:54,033 Is everybody all right? 83 00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:56,309 What's that funny smell? 84 00:03:56,310 --> 00:03:58,067 Don't look at me. 85 00:03:58,068 --> 00:03:59,585 Skunk, honey. 86 00:03:59,586 --> 00:04:02,412 Ooh, that smell is absolutely gross. 87 00:04:02,413 --> 00:04:03,861 It's very unpleasant, 88 00:04:03,862 --> 00:04:05,274 but at least he's gone now. 89 00:04:05,275 --> 00:04:06,619 Yeah, but I have a feeling 90 00:04:06,620 --> 00:04:09,793 he's gonna be with us in spirit for a long time to come. 91 00:04:15,275 --> 00:04:17,931 [♪♪♪] 92 00:04:30,862 --> 00:04:32,102 Do you have to do that? 93 00:04:32,103 --> 00:04:33,688 I'm gonna end up smelling like a girl. 94 00:04:33,689 --> 00:04:34,999 Listen, you should be so lucky. 95 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,067 Anyway, anything's better than skunk. 96 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:38,205 I Don't know. 97 00:04:38,206 --> 00:04:39,964 At least skunk has a masculine smell. 98 00:04:39,965 --> 00:04:41,792 Shirley: Okay, kids. 99 00:04:41,793 --> 00:04:44,585 Welcome to Mae west's boudoir. 100 00:04:44,586 --> 00:04:46,655 Who? just get in. 101 00:04:52,551 --> 00:04:55,481 I just used up a whole bottle of my best perfume. 102 00:04:55,482 --> 00:04:56,688 Doesn't it smell any better? 103 00:04:56,689 --> 00:04:57,861 No. 104 00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:58,930 Just different. 105 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:00,171 What do you mean? 106 00:05:00,172 --> 00:05:02,930 Now it smells like perfumed skunk. 107 00:05:02,931 --> 00:05:05,585 Well, we're just going to have to live with it 108 00:05:05,586 --> 00:05:07,171 until we get to the hotel, 109 00:05:07,172 --> 00:05:09,136 and then we can take a bath and change. 110 00:05:09,137 --> 00:05:10,619 Thank goodness we Don't have to open 111 00:05:10,620 --> 00:05:12,067 until tomorrow. 112 00:05:12,068 --> 00:05:14,068 It'll give us a chance to get our stuff fumigated. 113 00:05:16,413 --> 00:05:17,757 Mom, isn't that place we're playing 114 00:05:17,758 --> 00:05:19,205 supposed to be terribly elegant? 115 00:05:19,206 --> 00:05:20,412 That's right. 116 00:05:20,413 --> 00:05:22,033 Well, if we walk in smelling like this, 117 00:05:22,034 --> 00:05:23,792 we're gonna make a terrible first impression. 118 00:05:23,793 --> 00:05:24,999 Not only that, 119 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,033 but we're likely to cause a stampede. 120 00:05:27,034 --> 00:05:28,792 All right. 121 00:05:28,793 --> 00:05:31,585 We'll stop at a motel along the way 122 00:05:31,586 --> 00:05:33,654 and rent one room and all take a bath. 123 00:05:33,655 --> 00:05:35,068 Get in. 124 00:06:11,758 --> 00:06:13,067 You kids wait here. 125 00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:15,205 If we all go in, we're liable 126 00:06:15,206 --> 00:06:16,481 to contaminate the motel. 127 00:06:16,482 --> 00:06:17,688 No offense, mom, 128 00:06:17,689 --> 00:06:18,792 but I think you're capable 129 00:06:18,793 --> 00:06:20,585 of doing that all by yourself. 130 00:06:20,586 --> 00:06:21,861 Maybe I should try 131 00:06:21,862 --> 00:06:23,274 to shout through the windows. 132 00:06:23,275 --> 00:06:25,067 Why Don't we use the phone? 133 00:06:25,068 --> 00:06:26,171 Phone? 134 00:06:26,172 --> 00:06:28,619 You know something, Danny? 135 00:06:28,620 --> 00:06:30,136 About once a year, 136 00:06:30,137 --> 00:06:32,862 you do come up with a good idea. 137 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:39,240 [Ringing] 138 00:06:39,241 --> 00:06:40,999 Sunshine motor haven. 139 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,930 Yes, we do have a vacancy. 140 00:06:43,931 --> 00:06:46,343 What time shall we expect you? 141 00:06:46,344 --> 00:06:47,861 In about 30 seconds. 142 00:06:47,862 --> 00:06:48,964 30 seconds? 143 00:06:48,965 --> 00:06:51,550 Who is this? Peter Pan? 144 00:06:51,551 --> 00:06:52,723 Well... 145 00:06:52,724 --> 00:06:54,136 Well, you see, I'm... 146 00:06:54,137 --> 00:06:56,137 I'm phoning from just outside the motel. 147 00:07:10,448 --> 00:07:13,448 Would you hold on for just a moment, please? 148 00:07:21,931 --> 00:07:23,585 This is an emergency. 149 00:07:23,586 --> 00:07:25,378 Give me the police. 150 00:07:25,379 --> 00:07:28,275 [Sirens wailing] 151 00:07:39,034 --> 00:07:40,447 Police sergeant: Everybody freeze. Come on, now. 152 00:07:40,448 --> 00:07:41,448 Up against the bus. 153 00:07:41,449 --> 00:07:42,688 Put your hands against the bus. 154 00:07:42,689 --> 00:07:43,792 Everybody. Do it. 155 00:07:43,793 --> 00:07:44,999 Come on, do as I say. 156 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,861 Hey, you too, lady. You too. Move it. 157 00:07:47,862 --> 00:07:49,102 Up against the bus. 158 00:07:49,103 --> 00:07:50,274 Shirley: We haven't done anything wrong. 159 00:07:50,275 --> 00:07:51,930 Why were you wearing holdup masks? 160 00:07:51,931 --> 00:07:53,412 We ran into a skunk. 161 00:07:53,413 --> 00:07:55,205 We can't stand to smell ourselves. 162 00:07:55,206 --> 00:07:56,723 Don't you see? 163 00:07:56,724 --> 00:07:57,999 That's why I was phoning 164 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,688 outside the motel. 165 00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:00,861 We didn't want to offend anyone. 166 00:08:00,862 --> 00:08:01,862 Yeah. 167 00:08:01,863 --> 00:08:03,343 Well, armed robbery offends me. 168 00:08:03,344 --> 00:08:04,585 Now, turn around 169 00:08:04,586 --> 00:08:06,067 and put your hands against that bus. 170 00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:08,550 Sweeney, frisk them. 171 00:08:08,551 --> 00:08:10,067 What's the matter? 172 00:08:10,068 --> 00:08:12,585 Uh, sarge, 173 00:08:12,586 --> 00:08:13,895 I got a funny feeling 174 00:08:13,896 --> 00:08:15,136 they're telling the truth. 175 00:08:15,137 --> 00:08:16,205 Oh, how'd you get that? 176 00:08:16,206 --> 00:08:17,206 Intuition? 177 00:08:17,207 --> 00:08:19,102 No, it's, uh... 178 00:08:19,103 --> 00:08:20,241 More than that. 179 00:08:36,275 --> 00:08:37,585 All right, everyone. 180 00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:39,136 Grab a suitcase. 181 00:08:39,137 --> 00:08:41,688 We'll have to leave Simone in the bus 182 00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:42,861 till we can get her shampooed. 183 00:08:42,862 --> 00:08:43,895 Poor Simone. 184 00:08:43,896 --> 00:08:45,343 She'll be lonely. 185 00:08:45,344 --> 00:08:46,826 Honey, the way she smells, 186 00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,136 she'll be lonely wherever she goes. 187 00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:50,654 After siccing the police on us, 188 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,033 the least that guy could've done was let us take a bath. 189 00:08:53,034 --> 00:08:54,481 He's very house-proud. 190 00:08:54,482 --> 00:08:56,274 Well, how are we gonna get through the lobby 191 00:08:56,275 --> 00:08:57,309 smelling like this? 192 00:08:57,310 --> 00:08:58,723 We'll just have to brazen it through. 193 00:08:58,724 --> 00:08:59,999 Everyone stick close together, 194 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,757 and Don't get near any of the other guests. 195 00:09:01,758 --> 00:09:02,930 Let's go. 196 00:09:02,931 --> 00:09:04,136 I Don't think that's gonna be 197 00:09:04,137 --> 00:09:05,827 too much of a problem. 198 00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,309 We're the partridge family. 199 00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,861 Do you have our suite ready? 200 00:09:38,862 --> 00:09:40,033 Yes. 201 00:09:40,034 --> 00:09:42,585 Would you like to register? 202 00:09:42,586 --> 00:09:44,378 I Don't think 203 00:09:44,379 --> 00:09:45,379 we should come any closer. 204 00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:46,757 Oh? 205 00:09:46,758 --> 00:09:49,102 You see, we've had this rather unfortunate accident. 206 00:09:49,103 --> 00:09:51,378 Accident? 207 00:09:51,379 --> 00:09:53,000 We Don't smell very good. 208 00:09:56,344 --> 00:09:59,757 Could you just throw me the key, please? 209 00:09:59,758 --> 00:10:01,309 Yes. 210 00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:05,516 I Don't think that would be within regulations, madam. 211 00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:07,999 Why Don't you just place it on the desk 212 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,723 and back away? 213 00:10:09,724 --> 00:10:12,517 Sure. 214 00:10:18,206 --> 00:10:20,481 A skunk stowed away in our bus. 215 00:10:20,482 --> 00:10:21,517 I see. 216 00:10:26,655 --> 00:10:28,274 There's a message for you, Mrs. Partridge. 217 00:10:28,275 --> 00:10:29,862 Thank you. 218 00:10:35,724 --> 00:10:36,930 Oh, no. 219 00:10:36,931 --> 00:10:38,516 What's it say? 220 00:10:38,517 --> 00:10:41,136 "Arranged benefit performance this evening at seven o'clock. 221 00:10:41,137 --> 00:10:42,550 "Will arrive shortly and explain. 222 00:10:42,551 --> 00:10:43,654 Reuben." 223 00:10:43,655 --> 00:10:44,792 Seven o'clock? 224 00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:46,309 We'll never be cleaned up and ready 225 00:10:46,310 --> 00:10:47,412 by then. 226 00:10:47,413 --> 00:10:49,033 We'll just have to get out of it. 227 00:10:49,034 --> 00:10:50,034 Could you tell us 228 00:10:50,035 --> 00:10:51,550 where our room is, please? 229 00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:53,447 I Don't think we'll need a bellboy. 230 00:10:53,448 --> 00:10:56,516 Well, I could call for volunteers. 231 00:10:56,517 --> 00:10:59,067 It won't be necessary. 232 00:10:59,068 --> 00:11:02,999 15th floor, suite 1506. 233 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,895 Thank you. 234 00:11:04,896 --> 00:11:06,309 Oh, and you Don't have to worry. 235 00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:08,585 We'll all be taking baths very shortly. 236 00:11:08,586 --> 00:11:09,827 Sure. 237 00:11:28,068 --> 00:11:30,379 Hold it, please. 238 00:11:38,551 --> 00:11:39,896 This is very embarrassing. 239 00:11:48,551 --> 00:11:50,171 Gee, is it that bad? 240 00:11:50,172 --> 00:11:52,585 Whatever it is, it's that bad. 241 00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:55,585 It's a mixture between skunk and ladies' Cologne. 242 00:11:55,586 --> 00:11:57,551 Don't bottle it. It'll never sell. 243 00:11:59,241 --> 00:12:00,481 Look, would you mind 244 00:12:00,482 --> 00:12:01,964 taking the elevator up yourselves? 245 00:12:01,965 --> 00:12:04,999 I'm terribly sorry about driving all your passengers away. 246 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,343 That's okay, lady. 247 00:12:06,344 --> 00:12:07,826 Just keep it moving. 248 00:12:07,827 --> 00:12:09,136 Otherwise, 249 00:12:09,137 --> 00:12:11,067 this elevator will be classified as a pollution area. 250 00:12:11,068 --> 00:12:12,412 No offense. 251 00:12:12,413 --> 00:12:13,516 Sure. 252 00:12:13,517 --> 00:12:15,136 Uh, I'll send you a free ticket 253 00:12:15,137 --> 00:12:17,205 for tomorrow night's performance. 254 00:12:17,206 --> 00:12:18,688 Terrific. 255 00:12:18,689 --> 00:12:21,551 Make it in the back of the room. 256 00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,412 Okay. 257 00:12:28,413 --> 00:12:29,413 Nobody touch anything. 258 00:12:29,414 --> 00:12:30,481 Stand perfectly still. 259 00:12:30,482 --> 00:12:31,585 Can't we even sit down? 260 00:12:31,586 --> 00:12:32,586 No. You'll contaminate the chairs. 261 00:12:32,587 --> 00:12:33,619 Laurie and Tracy, 262 00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:34,792 use the bath and the shower 263 00:12:34,793 --> 00:12:35,861 in there. 264 00:12:35,862 --> 00:12:37,033 Chris, Danny, use the other bathroom. 265 00:12:37,034 --> 00:12:38,240 Put your socks, shoes, and clothes 266 00:12:38,241 --> 00:12:39,378 in the hamper. 267 00:12:39,379 --> 00:12:40,447 We'll Bury them later. 268 00:12:40,448 --> 00:12:41,448 Everyone else stand perfectly still 269 00:12:41,449 --> 00:12:42,654 until it's your turn to shower. 270 00:12:42,655 --> 00:12:43,826 Can I sit on the suitcase? 271 00:12:43,827 --> 00:12:44,827 Okay. 272 00:12:44,828 --> 00:12:46,551 Keep your feet off the floor. 273 00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,033 You know, it's weird, 274 00:12:52,034 --> 00:12:53,654 but I can still smell that stuff. 275 00:12:53,655 --> 00:12:56,274 Well, it's probably your imagination. 276 00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:59,688 Then I have a pretty powerful imagination. 277 00:12:59,689 --> 00:13:01,895 I think it got inside our nostrils. 278 00:13:01,896 --> 00:13:03,930 That's one part I forgot to wash. 279 00:13:03,931 --> 00:13:05,516 Oh, it's so good to be clean again. 280 00:13:05,517 --> 00:13:07,861 If you hold on a minute, I'll get you some clothes. 281 00:13:07,862 --> 00:13:08,999 [Knocking] 282 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,724 I'll get it. 283 00:13:14,275 --> 00:13:15,412 Oh, hi, Mr. Kincaid. 284 00:13:15,413 --> 00:13:16,688 Yeah. 285 00:13:16,689 --> 00:13:18,309 Hey, what's going on in here? 286 00:13:18,310 --> 00:13:19,619 I asked the desk clerk downstairs 287 00:13:19,620 --> 00:13:20,757 if I could come up. 288 00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,619 He asked me if I had a strong stomach. 289 00:13:22,620 --> 00:13:24,688 Reuben, it's a long story. 290 00:13:24,689 --> 00:13:26,550 What's this about a benefit tonight? 291 00:13:26,551 --> 00:13:28,240 Oh, I couldn't refuse, Shirley. 292 00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:29,343 It's at a children's hospital. 293 00:13:29,344 --> 00:13:30,550 The kids all play your records, 294 00:13:30,551 --> 00:13:31,654 and when they phoned, 295 00:13:31,655 --> 00:13:33,205 I just didn't have the heart to... 296 00:13:33,206 --> 00:13:34,206 Turn them down. 297 00:13:34,207 --> 00:13:35,619 Why aren't you ready? 298 00:13:35,620 --> 00:13:37,826 I Don't think we're going to be able to make it. 299 00:13:37,827 --> 00:13:38,999 We're due there at seven o'clock. 300 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,000 I can't cancel now. 301 00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:41,102 Yeah. 302 00:13:41,103 --> 00:13:42,309 We can't disappoint them now, mom. 303 00:13:42,310 --> 00:13:44,102 Well, if we hurry, we can still make it. 304 00:13:44,103 --> 00:13:45,826 I'd have told you sooner, 305 00:13:45,827 --> 00:13:47,343 but I didn't have a... 306 00:13:47,344 --> 00:13:49,205 Excuse me, but did you know 307 00:13:49,206 --> 00:13:51,033 there's a terrible smell in here? 308 00:13:51,034 --> 00:13:52,274 Smell? 309 00:13:52,275 --> 00:13:54,689 Oh, there can't be anymore. 310 00:13:56,413 --> 00:13:58,688 What kind of smell? 311 00:13:58,689 --> 00:13:59,964 Well, I Don't know. 312 00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:03,793 The whole place smells of freshly washed skunk. 313 00:14:11,482 --> 00:14:12,723 [Tracy and Chris laughing] 314 00:14:12,724 --> 00:14:13,861 Hold it down, kids. 315 00:14:13,862 --> 00:14:15,240 We can't hold our noses and ears 316 00:14:15,241 --> 00:14:16,241 at the same time. 317 00:14:16,242 --> 00:14:17,447 We can't go into a hospital 318 00:14:17,448 --> 00:14:18,516 smelling of skunk. 319 00:14:18,517 --> 00:14:20,136 At least it's clean skunk. 320 00:14:20,137 --> 00:14:22,964 There's no such thing. 321 00:14:22,965 --> 00:14:25,343 Anyway, it wouldn't be fair for us to walk in like this. 322 00:14:25,344 --> 00:14:27,757 After all, they're a captive audience. 323 00:14:27,758 --> 00:14:29,412 Those kids'll be heartbroken. 324 00:14:29,413 --> 00:14:30,757 I Don't understand it. 325 00:14:30,758 --> 00:14:32,585 We've scrubbed until our skins are raw. 326 00:14:32,586 --> 00:14:33,723 What did you use? 327 00:14:33,724 --> 00:14:34,895 What do you mean? 328 00:14:34,896 --> 00:14:36,171 Soap and water. 329 00:14:36,172 --> 00:14:38,240 Tomato juice. 330 00:14:38,241 --> 00:14:39,930 Tomato juice? 331 00:14:39,931 --> 00:14:41,309 Only thing that'll get rid of it. 332 00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:42,826 Uh, room service, please. 333 00:14:42,827 --> 00:14:44,136 Reuben, are you sure? 334 00:14:44,137 --> 00:14:46,171 I have it from a very reliable source. 335 00:14:46,172 --> 00:14:47,172 Who? 336 00:14:47,173 --> 00:14:48,274 I forget, 337 00:14:48,275 --> 00:14:49,412 but there's something 338 00:14:49,413 --> 00:14:50,585 about the ingredients of tomato juice... 339 00:14:50,586 --> 00:14:51,586 Hello, room service? 340 00:14:51,587 --> 00:14:52,930 This is suite, uh... 341 00:14:52,931 --> 00:14:54,274 1506. 342 00:14:54,275 --> 00:14:56,067 Would you please send up, 343 00:14:56,068 --> 00:14:58,930 oh, 40 large cans of tomato juice? 344 00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:00,240 40 cans? 345 00:15:00,241 --> 00:15:02,102 That's right. 40 cans. 346 00:15:02,103 --> 00:15:03,481 I realize 347 00:15:03,482 --> 00:15:05,516 you Don't usually send it up in cans, 348 00:15:05,517 --> 00:15:07,136 but this is an emergency. 349 00:15:07,137 --> 00:15:09,309 Well, what do you care what kind of emergency? 350 00:15:09,310 --> 00:15:11,999 All right. All right. 351 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,412 We have a whole family up here 352 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,896 who are stinking. 353 00:15:16,655 --> 00:15:19,826 No, they do not want to make bloody Marys. 354 00:15:19,827 --> 00:15:21,067 Look, if you must know, 355 00:15:21,068 --> 00:15:23,067 they want to take a bath in it. 356 00:15:23,068 --> 00:15:25,447 Very funny, fella. 357 00:15:25,448 --> 00:15:27,757 Just send up the cans. 358 00:15:27,758 --> 00:15:31,930 Because it cuts the smell of skunk! 359 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,343 Okay. Okay. 360 00:15:34,344 --> 00:15:36,550 Just send it up in glasses. 361 00:15:36,551 --> 00:15:39,274 Well, how do I know how many glasses? 362 00:15:39,275 --> 00:15:41,412 Enough to fill a bathtub. 363 00:15:41,413 --> 00:15:44,206 No, we do not need any ice. 364 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,551 Sir. 365 00:15:52,965 --> 00:15:54,550 Uh, where do you want it? 366 00:15:54,551 --> 00:15:55,585 Oh, in the bathtub. 367 00:15:55,586 --> 00:15:56,619 There goes 20 bucks. 368 00:15:56,620 --> 00:15:57,757 What? 369 00:15:57,758 --> 00:15:58,999 Room service bet me 20 bucks 370 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,792 you were going to take a bath in it. 371 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,033 Naturally, we took the bet. 372 00:16:02,034 --> 00:16:03,999 This is beginning to smell like a set-up to me. 373 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,067 Really? 374 00:16:05,068 --> 00:16:06,688 Is that what it smells like to you? 375 00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:07,895 No. Actually, it smells like skunk. 376 00:16:07,896 --> 00:16:08,930 All right. This tomato juice 377 00:16:08,931 --> 00:16:10,550 is going to get rid of that smell. 378 00:16:10,551 --> 00:16:11,517 Get it? Got it. 379 00:16:11,518 --> 00:16:12,550 Good. 380 00:16:12,551 --> 00:16:14,034 Now, would you do as I ask? 381 00:16:21,793 --> 00:16:23,171 You know, I just thought of something. 382 00:16:23,172 --> 00:16:24,172 What? 383 00:16:24,173 --> 00:16:25,378 What if they end up smelling 384 00:16:25,379 --> 00:16:27,136 like tomatoes instead? 385 00:16:27,137 --> 00:16:30,378 [Laughs] 386 00:16:30,379 --> 00:16:31,688 Okay, 387 00:16:31,689 --> 00:16:33,102 go sit with the clean group. 388 00:16:33,103 --> 00:16:34,240 How do you feel, Danny? 389 00:16:34,241 --> 00:16:36,171 As if somebody should salt and pepper me. 390 00:16:36,172 --> 00:16:37,274 Are you clean? 391 00:16:37,275 --> 00:16:38,447 Well, it's pretty hard 392 00:16:38,448 --> 00:16:40,136 to raise a lather with that stuff. 393 00:16:40,137 --> 00:16:41,378 Chris, you're next. 394 00:16:41,379 --> 00:16:42,447 I Don't want to wash 395 00:16:42,448 --> 00:16:43,448 in his dirty tomato juice. 396 00:16:43,449 --> 00:16:44,585 Come on, get in there. 397 00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:45,792 How are we doing on time? 398 00:16:45,793 --> 00:16:46,964 The hospital's only 10 minutes away. 399 00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:48,033 We should make it. 400 00:16:48,034 --> 00:16:49,654 We won't be able to perform in costume. 401 00:16:49,655 --> 00:16:51,240 We'll have to wear what's in these suitcases. 402 00:16:51,241 --> 00:16:53,240 I Don't think the kids at the hospital will mind. 403 00:16:53,241 --> 00:16:54,861 Tracy, you wear... Oh, there it is again. 404 00:16:54,862 --> 00:16:55,930 There's what again? 405 00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:57,102 Can't you smell it? 406 00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,861 I can smell it. It's coming from the case. 407 00:16:58,862 --> 00:16:59,862 Close it up, mom. 408 00:16:59,863 --> 00:17:01,102 All over our clothes. 409 00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,861 Don't you have some more clothes in the bus? 410 00:17:02,862 --> 00:17:03,895 Well, if these are contaminated, 411 00:17:03,896 --> 00:17:04,862 they're going to be too. 412 00:17:04,863 --> 00:17:06,067 What are we going to do? 413 00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:07,585 Why Don't we follow the trend? 414 00:17:07,586 --> 00:17:08,826 Laurie: What are you talking about? 415 00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:10,896 Perform topless. 416 00:17:12,275 --> 00:17:14,068 That'll only solve half our problem. 417 00:17:15,551 --> 00:17:17,447 Well, I'm game to go the whole way. 418 00:17:17,448 --> 00:17:18,481 We already have 419 00:17:18,482 --> 00:17:19,688 enough comedy in the act. 420 00:17:19,689 --> 00:17:21,516 Knock it off. It's no time to be funny. 421 00:17:21,517 --> 00:17:22,654 There must be 422 00:17:22,655 --> 00:17:24,343 some clothing stores here in the hotel. 423 00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:25,516 They'll be closed. 424 00:17:25,517 --> 00:17:27,309 There may be some stores in town still open. 425 00:17:27,310 --> 00:17:28,723 There isn't time for that, Laurie. 426 00:17:28,724 --> 00:17:30,136 Now, wait a minute. Hold it, everybody. 427 00:17:30,137 --> 00:17:31,337 Let's not panic. Let me think. 428 00:17:34,068 --> 00:17:35,688 I've got an extra set of clothes here. 429 00:17:35,689 --> 00:17:37,033 You can wear these. 430 00:17:37,034 --> 00:17:38,964 Great, but what about the other five of us? 431 00:17:38,965 --> 00:17:40,274 We'll just have to borrow some. 432 00:17:40,275 --> 00:17:41,343 Who's gonna lend us clothes 433 00:17:41,344 --> 00:17:42,550 in the next five minutes? 434 00:17:42,551 --> 00:17:43,792 I'll think of somebody, 435 00:17:43,793 --> 00:17:44,930 but I'll need some help. 436 00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,550 Keith, are you still polluted? 437 00:17:46,551 --> 00:17:47,723 Yeah, but I wish 438 00:17:47,724 --> 00:17:48,964 you wouldn't put it like that. 439 00:17:51,310 --> 00:17:52,895 Then it'll just have to be you, Danny. 440 00:17:52,896 --> 00:17:53,930 Here. 441 00:17:53,931 --> 00:17:54,931 Put these on. 442 00:17:54,932 --> 00:17:56,964 What do you want me to do? 443 00:17:56,965 --> 00:17:59,206 Charm the pants off people. 444 00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:18,895 Excuse me, miss. 445 00:18:18,896 --> 00:18:20,516 Could I see you in private? 446 00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:21,757 What for? 447 00:18:21,758 --> 00:18:23,757 I have a proposition to make. 448 00:18:23,758 --> 00:18:25,551 I Don't date midgets. 449 00:18:28,379 --> 00:18:30,171 I'll bet you're a perfect size 10. 450 00:18:30,172 --> 00:18:31,723 I beg your pardon? 451 00:18:31,724 --> 00:18:33,309 Oh. Oh, look, 452 00:18:33,310 --> 00:18:35,412 I know this may sound unusual, 453 00:18:35,413 --> 00:18:37,067 but could I rent your dress 454 00:18:37,068 --> 00:18:38,723 for one night? 455 00:18:38,724 --> 00:18:42,792 I'm not sure this is your color. 456 00:18:42,793 --> 00:18:44,067 Danny: Look, I Don't have time 457 00:18:44,068 --> 00:18:45,688 to tell you the whole story. 458 00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,067 I'll give you 15 bucks 459 00:18:47,068 --> 00:18:49,930 to rent your outfit for a couple of hours. 460 00:18:49,931 --> 00:18:51,136 Okay, but answer me one thing. 461 00:18:51,137 --> 00:18:52,171 How come you're wearing clothes 462 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:53,447 10 sizes too big for you? 463 00:18:53,448 --> 00:18:55,033 Would you believe when I started the day 464 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:57,344 I was six feet tall? 465 00:19:08,137 --> 00:19:10,862 You gonna mail it to me, kid, or what? 466 00:19:13,655 --> 00:19:15,206 Should I come back? 467 00:19:43,586 --> 00:19:45,309 Taxi. 468 00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,136 Okay, now, you all go over there by cab, 469 00:19:47,137 --> 00:19:49,067 and I'll drive the bus over with the equipment. 470 00:19:49,068 --> 00:19:50,481 Why can't we all go by bus? 471 00:19:50,482 --> 00:19:52,274 Because you're sterile, and you get in the bus, 472 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:53,826 you'll be contaminated again. 473 00:19:53,827 --> 00:19:54,964 Come on. 474 00:19:54,965 --> 00:19:56,343 Well, won't you get to smell bad? 475 00:19:56,344 --> 00:19:58,550 Sometimes managers have to make sacrifices. 476 00:19:58,551 --> 00:20:01,240 St. Mark's hospital, please. 477 00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:03,999 See you later. 478 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,102 Are you the partridge family? 479 00:20:05,103 --> 00:20:06,447 Yes. 480 00:20:06,448 --> 00:20:08,688 I got something for you. 481 00:20:08,689 --> 00:20:10,896 Oh, no! 482 00:20:13,448 --> 00:20:15,310 What's the matter? Isn't he your dog? 483 00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:18,826 I saw him in your bus, and he looked lonely. 484 00:20:18,827 --> 00:20:20,033 Well, didn't you notice 485 00:20:20,034 --> 00:20:21,550 anything unusual about him? 486 00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:22,688 Unusual? 487 00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:23,655 He's been in direct contact 488 00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:25,412 with a skunk. 489 00:20:25,413 --> 00:20:26,826 Oh, well, I wouldn't know about that, 490 00:20:26,827 --> 00:20:28,387 cause you see, I got this terrible cold. 491 00:20:30,551 --> 00:20:31,895 Now what, mom? 492 00:20:31,896 --> 00:20:33,274 We have to get to the hospital. 493 00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:34,481 How? 494 00:20:34,482 --> 00:20:37,274 I guess we'll have to bribe the driver. 495 00:20:37,275 --> 00:20:38,930 How are we gonna get into a hospital 496 00:20:38,931 --> 00:20:40,136 smelling like this? 497 00:20:40,137 --> 00:20:42,171 I'll think of something. 498 00:20:42,172 --> 00:20:45,034 ["Brand-new me" playing] 499 00:20:51,482 --> 00:20:53,619 ♪ Come on down ♪ 500 00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:55,654 ♪ off of your cloud ♪ 501 00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:58,378 ♪ why just be ♪ 502 00:20:58,379 --> 00:21:00,654 ♪ a face in the crowd? ♪ 503 00:21:00,655 --> 00:21:02,067 ♪ You can remember ♪ 504 00:21:02,068 --> 00:21:05,619 ♪ that once upon a love-affair. 505 00:21:05,620 --> 00:21:09,274 ♪ Your heart was warm your lips were tender ♪ 506 00:21:09,275 --> 00:21:11,205 ♪ and I didn't care, baby ♪ 507 00:21:11,206 --> 00:21:12,826 ♪ you're gonna see ♪ 508 00:21:12,827 --> 00:21:14,688 ♪ you're gonna see ♪ 509 00:21:14,689 --> 00:21:16,274 ♪ a brand-new me in me ♪ 510 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:17,723 ♪ a brand-new me ♪ 511 00:21:17,724 --> 00:21:20,861 ♪ it's you that's on my mind this time ♪ 512 00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:22,171 ♪ I really love you ♪ 513 00:21:22,172 --> 00:21:24,585 ♪ I'll be around ♪ 514 00:21:24,586 --> 00:21:26,033 ♪ I'll never let you down ♪ 515 00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:27,343 ♪ won't be the same ♪ 516 00:21:27,344 --> 00:21:29,343 ♪ can't you see my ♪ 517 00:21:29,344 --> 00:21:31,827 ♪ feet are on the ground? ♪ 518 00:21:34,551 --> 00:21:35,654 ♪ Ooh ♪ 519 00:21:35,655 --> 00:21:37,067 ♪ I've had my fill ♪ 520 00:21:37,068 --> 00:21:39,516 ♪ of foolin' around ♪ 521 00:21:39,517 --> 00:21:42,067 ♪ ain't no life ♪ 522 00:21:42,068 --> 00:21:44,861 ♪ just being a clown ♪ 523 00:21:44,862 --> 00:21:46,585 ♪ I heard the weather report ♪ 524 00:21:46,586 --> 00:21:49,412 ♪ and it said, "sunny today" ♪ 525 00:21:49,413 --> 00:21:52,412 ♪ how did it know that you would show up ♪ 526 00:21:52,413 --> 00:21:55,516 ♪ to love me today, baby? ♪ 527 00:21:55,517 --> 00:21:57,102 ♪ You're gonna see ♪ 528 00:21:57,103 --> 00:21:58,343 ♪ you're gonna see ♪ 529 00:21:58,344 --> 00:22:00,447 ♪ a brand-new me in me ♪ 530 00:22:00,448 --> 00:22:03,757 ♪ it's you that's on my mind this time ♪ 531 00:22:03,758 --> 00:22:05,378 ♪ I'll be a new man ♪ 532 00:22:05,379 --> 00:22:06,481 ♪ I'll be around ♪ 533 00:22:06,482 --> 00:22:09,481 ♪ I'll never let you down ♪ 534 00:22:09,482 --> 00:22:10,688 ♪ won't be the same ♪ 535 00:22:10,689 --> 00:22:13,412 ♪ can't you see my ♪ 536 00:22:13,413 --> 00:22:18,033 ♪ feet are on the ground? ♪ 537 00:22:18,034 --> 00:22:20,240 ♪ Ah, ah ♪ 538 00:22:20,241 --> 00:22:22,688 ♪ ah, ah ♪ 539 00:22:22,689 --> 00:22:25,481 ♪ ah, ah ♪ 540 00:22:25,482 --> 00:22:27,240 ♪ ah, ah ♪ 541 00:22:27,241 --> 00:22:30,171 ♪ ah ♪ 542 00:22:30,172 --> 00:22:32,067 ♪ ah ♪ 543 00:22:32,068 --> 00:22:35,447 ♪ ah ♪ 544 00:22:35,448 --> 00:22:38,274 ♪ ah ♪ 545 00:22:38,275 --> 00:22:39,412 ♪ you're gonna see ♪ 546 00:22:39,413 --> 00:22:41,033 ♪ oh, you're gonna see ♪ 547 00:22:41,034 --> 00:22:42,447 ♪ a brand-new me ♪ 548 00:22:42,448 --> 00:22:47,240 ♪ it's you that's on my mind this time ♪ 549 00:22:47,241 --> 00:22:50,585 ♪ I'll be around ♪ 550 00:22:50,586 --> 00:22:52,757 ♪ I'll never let you down ♪ 551 00:22:52,758 --> 00:22:55,378 ♪ can't you see my ♪ 552 00:22:55,379 --> 00:22:57,758 ♪ feet are on the ground? ♪ 553 00:23:00,172 --> 00:23:02,033 ♪ You're gonna see ♪ 554 00:23:02,034 --> 00:23:05,033 ♪ a brand-new me in me ♪ 555 00:23:05,034 --> 00:23:07,067 ♪ it's you that's on my mind ♪♪ 556 00:23:07,068 --> 00:23:09,172 [Applause] 557 00:23:10,724 --> 00:23:13,827 [♪♪♪] 558 00:23:24,517 --> 00:23:25,550 You know, 559 00:23:25,551 --> 00:23:26,964 I think the show turned out okay. 560 00:23:26,965 --> 00:23:28,309 Shirley: The kids seemed very pleased. 561 00:23:28,310 --> 00:23:30,033 Oh, let's catch the elevator. All: Hold it! 562 00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:31,655 Wait a minute. 563 00:23:33,551 --> 00:23:34,723 Oh, it's all right. 564 00:23:34,724 --> 00:23:36,033 There's nothing wrong with us now. 565 00:23:36,034 --> 00:23:37,585 Whatever you say. 566 00:23:37,586 --> 00:23:40,999 We may look a little funny, but we're all right otherwise. 567 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,343 We got decontaminated at the hospital. 568 00:23:43,344 --> 00:23:44,481 Oh. 569 00:23:44,482 --> 00:23:46,585 I'm glad you changed your lifestyle. 570 00:23:46,586 --> 00:23:48,240 I like you much better that way. 571 00:23:48,241 --> 00:23:49,447 A little freaky looking, 572 00:23:49,448 --> 00:23:51,048 but you're definitely on the right path. 573 00:23:52,655 --> 00:23:54,447 Shirley? 574 00:23:54,448 --> 00:23:56,310 Shirley? Reuben! 575 00:23:58,413 --> 00:23:59,516 Hi, Mr. Kincaid. 576 00:23:59,517 --> 00:24:00,654 Thank you. 577 00:24:00,655 --> 00:24:02,206 Woman: Hold it. 578 00:24:18,379 --> 00:24:19,379 What did I do? 579 00:24:19,380 --> 00:24:20,861 You were in our bus. 580 00:24:20,862 --> 00:24:23,136 Yeah, but... 581 00:24:23,137 --> 00:24:24,274 You mean, I... 582 00:24:24,275 --> 00:24:25,861 To high heaven. 583 00:24:25,862 --> 00:24:27,240 Would you mind 584 00:24:27,241 --> 00:24:29,378 taking it up yourself, sir? 585 00:24:29,379 --> 00:24:31,343 Shirley? 586 00:24:31,344 --> 00:24:32,516 Don't worry. We'll have the bellboy 587 00:24:32,517 --> 00:24:33,826 bring up 588 00:24:33,827 --> 00:24:37,102 an embarrassing amount of tomato juice. 589 00:24:37,103 --> 00:24:38,895 So, that's the thanks I get. 590 00:24:38,896 --> 00:24:42,241 Abandoned. 591 00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:46,344 [♪♪♪] 39174

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