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[Partridge family theme playing]
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♪ Come on now and
meet everybody ♪
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00:00:14,433 --> 00:00:18,665
♪ and hear us singing ♪
4
00:00:18,666 --> 00:00:22,999
♪ there's nothing better
than being together ♪
5
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:27,099
♪ when we're singing ♪
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00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:28,532
♪ the five of us ♪
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♪ and mom working all day ♪
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00:00:30,333 --> 00:00:33,799
♪ we knew we could help
her if our music would pay ♪
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00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,565
♪ Danny got Reuben
to sell our song ♪
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00:00:36,566 --> 00:00:40,132
♪ and it really came together
when mom sang along ♪
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00:00:40,133 --> 00:00:44,299
♪ come on now and
meet everybody ♪
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00:00:44,300 --> 00:00:48,499
♪ and hear us singing ♪
13
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:52,699
♪ there's nothing better
than being together ♪
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00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:56,032
♪ when we're singing ♪
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♪ when we're singing ♪
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♪ when we're singing ♪♪
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Shirley: I see a mustang.
18
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,099
Keith: Good, I can use that.
19
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Danny: So could I.
20
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Shirley: I imagine
you've often wondered
21
00:01:11,866 --> 00:01:14,099
what five kids do
on a long bus ride.
22
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Well, they usually do something
23
00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:16,765
that's bad for their complexions
24
00:01:16,766 --> 00:01:17,766
or bad for my nerves.
25
00:01:17,767 --> 00:01:19,232
But this trip,
26
00:01:19,233 --> 00:01:21,099
someone came up with a new game,
27
00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:22,632
"highway bingo".
28
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I call out the cars I see,
and they fill in the squares.
29
00:01:25,233 --> 00:01:28,300
It's a lot like regular bingo,
except it's nonsectarian.
30
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There's a dodge.
31
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Tracy: I only got four
more to go on this side.
32
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Oh, I can't win.
33
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Well, why not?
34
00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:37,832
You only have one
more space to fill.
35
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Yeah, but when was the
last time you saw a Hudson?
36
00:01:41,066 --> 00:01:42,465
Vw.
37
00:01:42,466 --> 00:01:44,632
Mom, you said that one already.
38
00:01:44,633 --> 00:01:47,266
I just call 'em like I see 'em.
39
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Did you see that?
40
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You're a witness, right?
Crashed right into me!
41
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,699
What'd you hit, mom?
42
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:16,865
I think it was a studebaker.
43
00:02:16,866 --> 00:02:18,033
Bingo!
44
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Yup, she's got it all right.
45
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You crazy hippies,
46
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it's not enough you
Don't trust anyone over 30,
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now you're trying
to wipe us out.
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You force me to say something
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I Don't wanna say.
50
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I'm over 30 myself.
51
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I Don't care how old you are.
52
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You drive like you
were born yesterday.
53
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Can't we discuss
this rationally?
54
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Who says you're rational?
55
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You can't even decide what color
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to paint the bus.
57
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We did that on purpose.
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Of course you did, to
confuse the witnesses
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when you have an
accident. Keith: Mom...
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00:02:48,633 --> 00:02:50,399
There's no damage.
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00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,365
No damage?
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00:02:52,366 --> 00:02:53,765
What do you call that?
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00:02:53,766 --> 00:02:56,165
That's an old scratch.
It's already rusted.
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00:02:56,166 --> 00:02:57,765
Well, the salt air around here
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makes things rust pretty fast.
66
00:02:59,566 --> 00:03:00,566
Not that fast.
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00:03:00,567 --> 00:03:01,865
Will $5.00 cover it?
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00:03:01,866 --> 00:03:04,132
An attempt on my life is
worth more than $5.00.
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00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:05,133
Take it or leave it.
70
00:03:05,134 --> 00:03:06,665
But since it was an accident...
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I'll get my purse.
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00:03:09,333 --> 00:03:12,699
It's amazing how logical
greed can make you.
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00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:15,632
Why do you wanna ride
around in something like this?
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00:03:15,633 --> 00:03:18,832
What are parents
coming to these days?
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00:03:18,833 --> 00:03:20,765
We happen to be
the partridge family:
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00:03:20,766 --> 00:03:23,932
Stars of stage,
television, and nightclubs.
77
00:03:23,933 --> 00:03:25,532
You may have heard
some of our recordings.
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00:03:25,533 --> 00:03:26,699
You're in show business?
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00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:27,799
That's right. Here's your money.
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00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,032
Big stars?
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Pretty big. Ooh! My back!
82
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Oh! Ooh! Whiplash!
83
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Whiplash! You saw the wreck.
84
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You're witnesses, right?
85
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Whiplash.
86
00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:40,432
Whiplash! Whiplash!
87
00:03:40,433 --> 00:03:42,132
Did you see that crash?
88
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Whiplash. Whiplash!
89
00:03:46,433 --> 00:03:49,766
[♪♪♪]
90
00:03:57,633 --> 00:03:59,899
Half a million dollars?
91
00:03:59,900 --> 00:04:01,865
Did you say half
a million dollars?
92
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,065
That's right.
93
00:04:03,066 --> 00:04:04,165
They can't sue us.
94
00:04:04,166 --> 00:04:06,632
We Don't have
that kind of money.
95
00:04:06,633 --> 00:04:07,999
How much insurance do we have,
96
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,360
Mr. Lowenfeld?
Well, up to $50,000,
97
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,365
but you needn't worry.
98
00:04:11,366 --> 00:04:13,365
He's willing to settle
out of court for $10,000.
99
00:04:13,366 --> 00:04:15,265
Oh, that's very generous of him.
100
00:04:15,266 --> 00:04:17,499
We haven't any
choice but to settle.
101
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:18,500
Why?
102
00:04:18,501 --> 00:04:19,899
He was fine until he found out
103
00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:20,965
we were in show business.
104
00:04:20,966 --> 00:04:21,999
There's nothing wrong with him.
105
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,199
Let him take us to court.
106
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,066
Well, Mr. Larkin claims
he can't bend over.
107
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:27,832
Now, there are
some back injuries
108
00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:29,165
that can't be
detected medically.
109
00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:30,465
You can't detect something
110
00:04:30,466 --> 00:04:31,866
when it isn't there.
Unfortunately,
111
00:04:32,466 --> 00:04:33,632
in this kind of suit,
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00:04:33,633 --> 00:04:35,232
it's up to you to
prove he's faking,
113
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,500
and you can't do that.
114
00:04:37,733 --> 00:04:40,532
Okay. I guess you're right.
115
00:04:40,533 --> 00:04:42,232
I'll call the home
office tomorrow
116
00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:43,465
and recommend we settle.
117
00:04:43,466 --> 00:04:44,765
In a few days,
118
00:04:44,766 --> 00:04:46,399
I'll have some
papers for you to sign.
119
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,280
Thank you, Mr. Lowenfeld.
Good night. Good night.
120
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,565
You leaving too, Reuben?
121
00:04:49,566 --> 00:04:50,765
Well, I've given you advice
122
00:04:50,766 --> 00:04:52,132
that's ruined your whole day.
123
00:04:52,133 --> 00:04:54,399
I figure my job's done.
124
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:55,800
Good night. Good night.
125
00:04:58,033 --> 00:05:00,165
Mom...
126
00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:01,565
Do you wanna hear what I think?
127
00:05:01,566 --> 00:05:03,765
Is there any possible way I
cannot hear what you think?
128
00:05:03,766 --> 00:05:05,999
No.
129
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,299
Then I'd love to
hear what you think.
130
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:09,932
I think you copped out.
131
00:05:09,933 --> 00:05:10,933
If what's his name...
132
00:05:10,934 --> 00:05:13,332
Willie. Willie Larkin.
133
00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:15,999
If Willie Larkin isn't hurt,
and we know he isn't,
134
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,265
then he doesn't
deserve any money.
135
00:05:17,266 --> 00:05:18,499
I agree.
136
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,099
Then you're helping
him to commit a fraud,
137
00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:21,965
and you're just
as guilty as he is.
138
00:05:21,966 --> 00:05:24,099
But we can't prove anything.
139
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,832
But you're not even trying.
140
00:05:25,833 --> 00:05:28,599
You're taking the easy way out.
141
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,432
That's why this world
is in such a mess.
142
00:05:30,433 --> 00:05:32,565
Honey, I didn't
destroy this world
143
00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:33,832
all by myself, you know.
144
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,165
I had a little help.
145
00:05:35,166 --> 00:05:37,932
I didn't mean you. I
meant your generation.
146
00:05:37,933 --> 00:05:38,933
What's going on?
147
00:05:38,934 --> 00:05:41,099
Laurie's protesting again.
148
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:42,332
So what's new?
149
00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:43,699
This time, she has a point.
150
00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:45,832
Hey, that is new.
151
00:05:45,833 --> 00:05:48,165
The man is getting $10,000,
152
00:05:48,166 --> 00:05:49,765
and there's nothing
wrong with him.
153
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:50,766
Is that true?
154
00:05:51,633 --> 00:05:52,899
Why is that?
155
00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:55,299
The insurance company
wants to settle out of court.
156
00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:56,832
But it doesn't matter what
157
00:05:56,833 --> 00:05:59,032
the insurance
company wants to do.
158
00:05:59,033 --> 00:06:00,666
The question is what
do you wanna do?
159
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,799
Well, i...
160
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:04,933
I'd like to fight it.
161
00:06:08,266 --> 00:06:10,399
On the other hand, I...
162
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,032
I'd like to settle out of court.
163
00:06:12,033 --> 00:06:14,033
Mom, you're no king Solomon.
164
00:06:18,633 --> 00:06:19,799
Shirley: There are times
165
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,732
when a woman
just has to get away.
166
00:06:21,733 --> 00:06:24,399
And go sit in her bus.
167
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,032
Reuben and the
insurance man are right.
168
00:06:26,033 --> 00:06:27,965
Why go to court when
there's practically no chance
169
00:06:27,966 --> 00:06:29,265
of winning?
170
00:06:29,266 --> 00:06:32,599
But then, Laurie and
the kids are also right.
171
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,332
If they're both
right, who's wrong?
172
00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:36,099
[Knocking]
173
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:38,665
[Television playing]
174
00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:40,300
[Shuts television off]
175
00:06:46,333 --> 00:06:47,333
Oh!
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00:06:47,334 --> 00:06:48,799
Well, the lady bus driver.
177
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,799
I just came by to see
how you were feeling.
178
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,399
I expected you to
check up on me,
179
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:53,999
but I thought you'd
come during visiting hours.
180
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,099
Are you in pain?
181
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:56,965
It comes and goes.
It's ebbing now.
182
00:06:56,966 --> 00:06:58,965
It only feels like a
hot branding iron.
183
00:06:58,966 --> 00:07:00,699
I'm so glad you're
feeling better.
184
00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:01,832
Thank you.
185
00:07:01,833 --> 00:07:03,899
I'm certain you'd
feel a lot better
186
00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:05,699
if you got a check from
the insurance company.
187
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:06,799
It wouldn't hurt any less.
188
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,699
But I wouldn't mind as much.
189
00:07:08,700 --> 00:07:10,400
Well, come on in.
190
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,165
Please sit down,
even if I can't.
191
00:07:15,166 --> 00:07:16,265
You can't sit down?
192
00:07:16,266 --> 00:07:17,266
I can't get up.
193
00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:19,099
Not with the back
brace and this.
194
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:20,399
But make yourself comfortable.
195
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,866
I'll just prop myself
up against the wall.
196
00:07:25,266 --> 00:07:27,099
Mr. Larkin,
197
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:29,432
I've come over to ask
you to withdraw your case.
198
00:07:29,433 --> 00:07:30,699
You gotta be kidding.
199
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:33,033
How often is a man lucky
enough to get this badly hurt?
200
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:38,665
Look, you're causing
a very serious conflict
201
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:40,399
in my home.
202
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,265
Lady, I got nothing
against you and your kids.
203
00:07:42,266 --> 00:07:44,132
Then why are you suing us?
204
00:07:44,133 --> 00:07:45,832
So we can settle out of court!
205
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,099
This is strictly a matter
206
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,433
between me and a
rich insurance company.
207
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,865
Only if we settle out of court.
208
00:07:53,866 --> 00:07:56,532
I'm not so sure I could do
that in all good conscience.
209
00:07:56,533 --> 00:07:57,999
Mrs. Partridge,
210
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,465
I'm not taking anything
from you or your family.
211
00:08:00,466 --> 00:08:02,632
I'm not even hurting
the insurance company.
212
00:08:02,633 --> 00:08:04,732
They're just paying
what it would cost
213
00:08:04,733 --> 00:08:06,532
to take the case to court.
214
00:08:06,533 --> 00:08:07,932
Do me a favor.
215
00:08:07,933 --> 00:08:10,400
I never had a parade
before. Don't rain on it.
216
00:08:21,066 --> 00:08:22,499
Mm, mom, what did you decide
217
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:24,565
about whiplash Willie?
218
00:08:24,566 --> 00:08:25,865
Are you gonna give him anything?
219
00:08:25,866 --> 00:08:28,099
I'd like to give him an
academy award for pain.
220
00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:29,899
He's almost convincing.
221
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,499
Well, we all talked
about it last night.
222
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,499
Mm-hmm. What was your decision?
223
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:34,899
We decided it's your problem.
224
00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:35,932
Thanks a lot.
225
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,432
It's not like that, I mean...
226
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:40,399
Mom! I fell on the patio
and skinned my knee!
227
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,433
Oh, honey, let me see.
228
00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:44,765
Well, I Don't see anything.
229
00:08:44,766 --> 00:08:47,132
It's there. You
just can't see it.
230
00:08:47,133 --> 00:08:49,132
It's the first time I ever
saw a skinned knee
231
00:08:49,133 --> 00:08:50,299
with skin on it.
232
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:53,165
It doesn't matter.
It was your patio.
233
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:54,399
I'll make a deal.
234
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,599
You give me 25 cents
235
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,199
and I'll settle out
of court. Chris!
236
00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,599
How about 15...
237
00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,432
How about a spanking?
238
00:09:00,433 --> 00:09:02,799
Let's forget the whole thing!
239
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:04,132
Boy, wounded in action,
240
00:09:04,133 --> 00:09:06,799
and I still can't get a break.
241
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,132
[Door slams]
242
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:09,165
Well, like I said,
243
00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:10,166
it's your decision,
244
00:09:10,167 --> 00:09:11,566
no matter how
much it affects us.
245
00:09:13,133 --> 00:09:14,800
[Doorbell ringing]
246
00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:20,666
Finish eating. I'll get it.
247
00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:27,932
Hello, Reuben. Hi, Shirley.
248
00:09:27,933 --> 00:09:28,933
Where are the kids?
249
00:09:28,934 --> 00:09:29,999
I think they're out back.
250
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,065
Good.
251
00:09:31,066 --> 00:09:32,632
The insurance investigator
gave me the papers
252
00:09:32,633 --> 00:09:33,633
for you to sign.
253
00:09:33,634 --> 00:09:34,765
What papers?
254
00:09:34,766 --> 00:09:37,132
It's the agreement
to settle out of court.
255
00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:38,533
[Sighs]
256
00:09:40,866 --> 00:09:42,500
Reuben...
257
00:09:44,933 --> 00:09:46,499
I can't sign those papers.
258
00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:48,433
Well, you have to sign.
Why can't you sign?
259
00:09:49,633 --> 00:09:50,799
Just a minute ago,
260
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,799
Chris bumped his knee
on the patio and he said
261
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,799
if I didn't give him a
quarter, he would sue.
262
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,965
What is that? He's only playing.
263
00:09:56,966 --> 00:09:59,299
Yes, but children's
games come from
264
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:01,166
imitating things
they've learned.
265
00:10:03,233 --> 00:10:05,565
Well, he couldn't
have learned much
266
00:10:05,566 --> 00:10:07,833
if he only asked for a quarter.
267
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:12,232
Reuben, I'm serious.
268
00:10:12,233 --> 00:10:14,299
I Don't want my kids
growing up with the idea
269
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,565
that lying is a quick
way to make a buck.
270
00:10:16,566 --> 00:10:18,432
Shirley, there
is a nut out there
271
00:10:18,433 --> 00:10:20,732
suing you for half
a million dollars.
272
00:10:20,733 --> 00:10:21,733
What about Chris?
273
00:10:21,734 --> 00:10:23,232
He hasn't got a case.
274
00:10:23,233 --> 00:10:24,566
What are you guys talking about?
275
00:10:26,033 --> 00:10:27,365
Morals and values.
276
00:10:27,366 --> 00:10:29,400
What does that mean
in dollars and cents?
277
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:32,465
The price of morals and values
278
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:34,732
has just gone up.
279
00:10:34,733 --> 00:10:36,332
Danny, go get
the rest of the kids.
280
00:10:36,333 --> 00:10:37,832
We're going to have a meeting.
281
00:10:37,833 --> 00:10:39,032
What about?
282
00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:40,632
I've decided to join you kids.
283
00:10:40,633 --> 00:10:41,832
We're going to
fight whiplash Willie.
284
00:10:41,833 --> 00:10:46,599
Yay! We're gonna
fight! We're gonna win!
285
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:47,899
Strange.
286
00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:51,700
That's exactly what
general custer said.
287
00:10:54,833 --> 00:10:56,832
I knew you wouldn't
let him get away with it.
288
00:10:56,833 --> 00:10:57,833
Laurie: Yeah, mom,
289
00:10:57,834 --> 00:10:58,999
you're doing the right thing.
290
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,999
Well, being right
doesn't come cheap.
291
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,865
We're jumping from
a $10,000 settlement
292
00:11:02,866 --> 00:11:03,999
against the insurance company
293
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,165
to a half-million dollar
lawsuit against us.
294
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,532
He may ask for half a million,
295
00:11:08,533 --> 00:11:11,099
but he can't get
more than $250,000.
296
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:13,099
Yes, but the insurance company
297
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:15,932
will only pay $50,000.
298
00:11:15,933 --> 00:11:19,599
That means all of us
would have to pay the rest.
299
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,233
Two-hundred thousand dollars!
300
00:11:24,533 --> 00:11:28,965
It's a very simple
procedure, Mr. Kincaid.
301
00:11:28,966 --> 00:11:31,865
Whiplash Willie claims
he can't bend over.
302
00:11:31,866 --> 00:11:32,866
All we have to do
303
00:11:32,867 --> 00:11:34,632
is get a picture of
him bending over
304
00:11:34,633 --> 00:11:37,699
and he has absolutely
no case against us.
305
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:39,332
So far so good.
306
00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:40,732
Do you think it'll work?
307
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:42,432
Of course. It's an old formula.
308
00:11:42,433 --> 00:11:45,365
Greed plus opportunity
equals exposure.
309
00:11:45,366 --> 00:11:47,565
Remember that?
310
00:11:47,566 --> 00:11:50,432
I've forgotten more formulas
than you'll ever know.
311
00:11:50,433 --> 00:11:53,332
Now, you know what
you're supposed to do?
312
00:11:53,333 --> 00:11:54,599
Right. Right!
313
00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:57,100
You Don't wanna
synchronize watches, do you?
314
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,100
[Vacuum cleaner whirring]
315
00:12:02,566 --> 00:12:03,800
[Vacuum cleaner turns off]
316
00:12:16,533 --> 00:12:19,032
Yeah? Oh, good morning, sir.
317
00:12:19,033 --> 00:12:20,465
I'm your door-to-door
quiz program,
318
00:12:20,466 --> 00:12:22,865
the show for those people
who Don't listen to TV or radio.
319
00:12:22,866 --> 00:12:24,299
Is this some kind of a put-on?
320
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:25,465
No, siree.
321
00:12:25,466 --> 00:12:27,265
Now, in my hand,
I have a $20 bill,
322
00:12:27,266 --> 00:12:28,665
and if you can
answer this question
323
00:12:28,666 --> 00:12:29,932
in 10 seconds or less,
324
00:12:29,933 --> 00:12:31,565
the $20 bill is yours.
325
00:12:31,566 --> 00:12:32,765
Ready?
326
00:12:32,766 --> 00:12:34,232
It's crazy, but go ahead.
327
00:12:34,233 --> 00:12:36,099
Name a president
of the United States...
328
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:37,100
Richard milhous Nixon.
329
00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,732
Close enough.
330
00:12:39,733 --> 00:12:42,932
And here, sir, is your $20 bill.
331
00:12:42,933 --> 00:12:43,933
Oh, I'm sorry.
332
00:12:43,934 --> 00:12:45,233
That's all right. Goodbye.
333
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:48,100
Hold it!
334
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:51,600
And thanks.
335
00:12:51,601 --> 00:12:53,065
Reuben: And another thing.
336
00:12:53,066 --> 00:12:54,232
When you're sneaking a picture,
337
00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:55,933
you Don't jump
out and say "hold!"
338
00:12:57,066 --> 00:12:58,865
Actually, Mr. Kincaid,
339
00:12:58,866 --> 00:13:01,099
it's a very good
picture of the door,
340
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:03,100
and you came
out pretty good too.
341
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,165
That is the expression of a man
342
00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:09,399
who just threw away 20 bucks.
343
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,832
I bet the CIA even has bad days.
344
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:14,599
Yeah, but they also
have expense accounts.
345
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,933
Hey, look, Willie's
leaving the house.
346
00:13:18,466 --> 00:13:19,565
I wonder where he's going.
347
00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:21,365
He's going out to
spend my money,
348
00:13:21,366 --> 00:13:22,366
that's where he's going.
349
00:13:22,367 --> 00:13:23,966
Get down.
350
00:13:25,166 --> 00:13:27,699
Hey, I've got another idea.
351
00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:28,865
A better one.
352
00:13:28,866 --> 00:13:31,399
By better, you mean
more expensive.
353
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:35,699
It's only money.
354
00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:37,600
Yeah, but it's my money.
355
00:13:46,466 --> 00:13:49,399
They Don't even do this
in comic books anymore.
356
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:52,599
Anybody would bend over
to pick up $50, Mr. Kincaid.
357
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:53,665
I thought the point was
358
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,633
to keep him from
getting any money.
359
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,032
Well, look at the
bright side of it,
360
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,165
Mr. Kincaid.
361
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:29,933
I didn't waste another picture.
362
00:14:34,866 --> 00:14:36,432
Wait, you'll give me $10
363
00:14:36,433 --> 00:14:38,399
for doing absolutely nothing?
364
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:40,865
Well, you do have
to do one thing.
365
00:14:40,866 --> 00:14:42,265
I think I'm gonna call a cop...
366
00:14:42,266 --> 00:14:43,266
No, wait.
367
00:14:43,267 --> 00:14:44,599
All I want you to do
368
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,199
is drop this box of soap,
and let a man pick it up.
369
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,666
Oh, is this a commercial
or something?
370
00:14:50,966 --> 00:14:52,165
Right, a commercial.
371
00:14:52,166 --> 00:14:54,399
Hey, that's great.
372
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:56,565
But shouldn't you be
using a movie camera?
373
00:14:56,566 --> 00:14:58,532
I mean, that camera
just takes stills.
374
00:14:58,533 --> 00:15:01,166
Uh, it's gonna be a
very short commercial.
375
00:15:03,266 --> 00:15:04,266
Oh!
376
00:15:05,133 --> 00:15:06,965
Right, now, uh... in a minute,
377
00:15:06,966 --> 00:15:08,965
a man with a big
neck brace and a cane
378
00:15:08,966 --> 00:15:10,165
will be coming
down this street...
379
00:15:10,166 --> 00:15:11,406
Well, how will I recognize him?
380
00:15:12,933 --> 00:15:16,032
Well... the brace will
be around his neck,
381
00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:17,799
and the cane will
be in his hand.
382
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,732
Okay, um...
383
00:15:19,733 --> 00:15:22,600
Neck brace, neck.
Hand, cane. Okay.
384
00:15:23,666 --> 00:15:24,832
Yeah.
385
00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:26,832
Now, when he comes
up, you just casually...
386
00:15:26,833 --> 00:15:28,399
Drop this box out of your bag,
387
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,199
and let the man
pick it up for you.
388
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,499
Ah, then step back
389
00:15:31,500 --> 00:15:33,399
so my photographer
can get his picture.
390
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,665
Photographer?
391
00:15:34,666 --> 00:15:35,700
Isn't he a little young?
392
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,365
Well, that's the youth market.
393
00:15:38,366 --> 00:15:39,932
They won't even look at pictures
394
00:15:39,933 --> 00:15:41,766
taken by anyone over 30.
395
00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:04,832
Reuben: Are you sure
you're only 10 years old?
396
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:05,899
Danny: Positive.
397
00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:09,532
I guess my psyche
must be 13 or 14.
398
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:12,132
Well, I see my spies
came in out of the cold.
399
00:16:12,133 --> 00:16:13,399
How'd you do?
400
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,400
Terrible.
401
00:16:14,401 --> 00:16:16,299
Eighty dollars
worth of terrible.
402
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:18,099
Your son is a rotten spy,
403
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,165
but he has great potential
404
00:16:20,166 --> 00:16:21,299
taking pictures for
girly magazines.
405
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:22,499
Honest, mom,
406
00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:25,299
it was like the camera
had a will of its own.
407
00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:27,200
I think the camera's
beginning to grow up.
408
00:16:29,666 --> 00:16:32,432
You know, the worst
thing is, Willie's suspicious.
409
00:16:32,433 --> 00:16:34,465
He's not gonna fall
for any more tricks.
410
00:16:34,466 --> 00:16:37,099
Sure. He couldn't
have gotten wise
411
00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:40,465
50 or 60 bucks sooner.
412
00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:41,865
Anyway, we blew it.
413
00:16:41,866 --> 00:16:43,265
Now we're sunk.
414
00:16:43,266 --> 00:16:44,832
Well, maybe not.
415
00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:46,432
He expects us to
try and trick him,
416
00:16:46,433 --> 00:16:49,665
but he wouldn't
expect a frontal attack.
417
00:16:49,666 --> 00:16:51,299
We're gonna beat him up?
418
00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:52,599
Of course not.
419
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,565
The poor man's been hurt.
420
00:16:54,566 --> 00:16:56,599
Why, he shouldn't
even be on his feet.
421
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:59,499
He... he needs someone
to be with him constantly,
422
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:03,200
someone to wait on
him hand and foot.
423
00:17:04,300 --> 00:17:06,032
What a pleasant surprise.
424
00:17:06,033 --> 00:17:08,832
When did you get
into town, Doris?
425
00:17:08,833 --> 00:17:10,865
Only for a week?
426
00:17:10,866 --> 00:17:13,299
Well, we can't
waste any time then.
427
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,265
Why Don't you come over now,
428
00:17:15,266 --> 00:17:17,299
and we'll spend a
nice quiet evening
429
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:18,499
alone together.
430
00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:19,866
[Knocking]
431
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,800
Just a minute.
432
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,799
Lady, I've been waiting
for you with open...
433
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,532
Agh!
434
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:39,465
"Waiting for you with open ahs."
435
00:17:39,466 --> 00:17:42,499
Maybe he was
expecting his dentist.
436
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,365
Why, the poor man's in pain.
437
00:17:44,366 --> 00:17:45,965
Right. I have to
ask you to leave.
438
00:17:45,966 --> 00:17:47,765
I Don't like people
to see me like this.
439
00:17:47,766 --> 00:17:49,132
It's... it's not pretty.
440
00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:50,665
But that's why we're here.
441
00:17:50,666 --> 00:17:52,265
We all feel so guilty
442
00:17:52,266 --> 00:17:53,632
because we've done this to you.
443
00:17:53,633 --> 00:17:55,599
We're gonna stay here
and take care of you
444
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,865
until you can take
care of yourself.
445
00:17:57,866 --> 00:17:58,946
Even if that takes forever.
446
00:18:03,133 --> 00:18:04,133
Hi.
447
00:18:06,033 --> 00:18:08,365
Okay, that's it. That does it.
448
00:18:08,366 --> 00:18:09,465
Hello. Hi.
449
00:18:09,466 --> 00:18:10,700
Hi. Sleeping bags?
450
00:18:11,933 --> 00:18:13,999
How can we stay forever
without sleeping bags?
451
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,432
Why Don't you just pitch a tent
452
00:18:15,433 --> 00:18:16,433
and have a revival?
453
00:18:16,434 --> 00:18:17,965
Only as a last resort.
454
00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:21,099
A man with a back injury
shouldn't be on his feet.
455
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,799
Me sit in that?
456
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,399
Well, how else am
I gonna wheel you
457
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:25,400
into your bed?
458
00:18:25,401 --> 00:18:26,632
I'm not gonna sit in that.
459
00:18:26,633 --> 00:18:28,665
I knew we should've
brought the stretcher.
460
00:18:28,666 --> 00:18:30,132
Now, we know what we're doing.
461
00:18:30,133 --> 00:18:32,132
I've had nurse's
training in school.
462
00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:34,032
And I took first
aid in cub scouts.
463
00:18:34,033 --> 00:18:35,232
Wanna see a square knot?
464
00:18:35,233 --> 00:18:36,766
Tracy: And I had
the chicken pox once.
465
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,933
Hi.
466
00:18:48,033 --> 00:18:50,432
What's going on here? Doris!
467
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:52,165
When you said we
were gonna be alone,
468
00:18:52,166 --> 00:18:54,932
I didn't realize you
meant you, me...
469
00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:56,032
And your whole new family!
470
00:18:56,033 --> 00:18:57,832
Doris, let me explain.Listen...
471
00:18:57,833 --> 00:19:00,299
I came over here
for a little fun...
472
00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:03,366
Not to visit some
day care center.
473
00:19:04,366 --> 00:19:06,065
Oh, you won't notice us at all.
474
00:19:06,066 --> 00:19:07,999
Just pretend we're not here.
475
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,599
I have a better idea.
476
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,565
You just pretend I'm not here.
477
00:19:11,566 --> 00:19:12,899
Baby, wait.
478
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:14,065
Listen, if you want me,
479
00:19:14,066 --> 00:19:15,732
I'll be down at the
ywca swimming pool
480
00:19:15,733 --> 00:19:18,066
throwing pennies
in the deep end.
481
00:19:19,966 --> 00:19:22,132
Now, that hurt.
482
00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:23,933
["I'll leave myself
a little time" plays]
483
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:33,465
♪ Not long ago you'd
find me feeling so low ♪
484
00:19:33,466 --> 00:19:37,999
♪ I had some troubles
that you just can't hide ♪
485
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,499
♪ no time to start but
livin' far from my heart ♪
486
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:46,932
♪ I thought I'd take
another look inside ♪
487
00:19:46,933 --> 00:19:50,565
♪ lovers and friends will
come and go like the wind ♪
488
00:19:50,566 --> 00:19:55,399
♪ and there is nothin'
any man can do ♪
489
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,899
♪ for what it's worth I'll
make a home on this earth ♪
490
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:03,699
♪ and I will hope that
love will see me through ♪
491
00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:06,099
♪ I'll leave myself
a little time ♪
492
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:07,832
♪ for some gladness ♪
493
00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:11,999
♪ and even if I Don't know why ♪
494
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,232
♪ tomorrow's gonna
bring the sunshine ♪
495
00:20:15,233 --> 00:20:20,499
♪ to a brand-new day anyway ♪
496
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:23,999
♪ there's music in the air
with laughter everywhere ♪
497
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:28,965
♪ and love could
be the reason why ♪
498
00:20:28,966 --> 00:20:32,065
♪ I'll leave myself
a little time ♪
499
00:20:32,066 --> 00:20:34,233
♪ to go a different way ♪
500
00:20:37,833 --> 00:20:41,365
♪ I can't believe that
now I'm singin' a song ♪
501
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:46,199
♪ or that I'm laughin'
with that great big sun ♪
502
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,765
♪ no one I see has
got a worry for me ♪
503
00:20:49,766 --> 00:20:53,166
♪ I'm keepin' old
Mr. Time on the run ♪
504
00:20:54,733 --> 00:20:57,099
♪ I'll leave myself
a little time ♪
505
00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:58,732
♪ for some gladness ♪
506
00:20:58,733 --> 00:21:03,065
♪ and even if I Don't know why ♪
507
00:21:03,066 --> 00:21:06,099
♪ tomorrow's gonna
bring the sunshine ♪
508
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:11,432
♪ to a brand-new day anyway ♪
509
00:21:11,433 --> 00:21:15,499
♪ there's music in the air
with laughter everywhere ♪
510
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:20,065
♪ and love could
be the reason why ♪
511
00:21:20,066 --> 00:21:22,832
♪ I'll leave myself
a little time ♪
512
00:21:22,833 --> 00:21:26,600
♪ to go a different way ♪
513
00:21:28,666 --> 00:21:31,132
♪ I'll leave myself
a little time ♪
514
00:21:31,133 --> 00:21:37,099
♪ to go a different way ♪
515
00:21:37,100 --> 00:21:39,532
♪ I'll leave myself
a little time ♪
516
00:21:39,533 --> 00:21:42,566
♪ to go a different way ♪
517
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:45,766
[Vacuum whirring]
518
00:21:57,466 --> 00:21:59,233
Careful, honey!
519
00:22:01,166 --> 00:22:02,465
It ain't gonna work.
520
00:22:02,466 --> 00:22:03,466
What?
521
00:22:03,467 --> 00:22:04,532
[Shuts vacuum cleaner off]
522
00:22:04,533 --> 00:22:05,699
What?
523
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,099
You're trying to
make me like you,
524
00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:08,460
but it ain't gonna
work. It ain't?
525
00:22:09,100 --> 00:22:11,599
Tracy, Don't say "ain't".
526
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,866
Well, I like you, but it
still ain't gonna work.
527
00:22:17,666 --> 00:22:18,900
Tracy, watch out!
528
00:22:19,766 --> 00:22:21,132
Oh!
529
00:22:21,133 --> 00:22:22,766
[Sighs]
530
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:26,632
Honey, are you all right?
531
00:22:26,633 --> 00:22:29,132
Yeah, Willie saved me.
532
00:22:29,133 --> 00:22:31,799
Thank you. Ah, it was nothing.
533
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,999
It's amazing how suddenly
your back got better.
534
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,332
Not really. Ooh...
535
00:22:35,333 --> 00:22:37,532
Mr. Larkin...
536
00:22:37,533 --> 00:22:40,766
Yeah... well, how
about that? I'm cured.
537
00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:44,499
In a way, I'm kind of sorry.
538
00:22:44,500 --> 00:22:45,765
Me too.
539
00:22:45,766 --> 00:22:46,766
Laurie: Well, what's money?
540
00:22:46,767 --> 00:22:48,166
You got your health back again.
541
00:22:49,333 --> 00:22:51,199
I guess I should be
ashamed of myself.
542
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,165
You're a nice family.
543
00:22:53,166 --> 00:22:54,332
And underneath that neck brace,
544
00:22:54,333 --> 00:22:55,665
you're kind of a nice man.
545
00:22:55,666 --> 00:22:57,265
You've been so
good to me all week,
546
00:22:57,266 --> 00:22:58,665
I really hate to see you go.
547
00:22:58,666 --> 00:22:59,999
Oh, you really Don't mean that.
548
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,365
Yes, I do.
549
00:23:02,366 --> 00:23:03,566
Good help ain't easy to find.
550
00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:06,999
Don't say "ain't".
551
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,365
[Laughs]
552
00:23:08,366 --> 00:23:09,766
Okay.
553
00:23:16,566 --> 00:23:17,566
Bye, Mr. Larkin.
554
00:23:17,567 --> 00:23:18,799
So long, Danny.
555
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,999
Well, I think this
is the last load.
556
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,532
I guess we'd better go.
557
00:23:22,533 --> 00:23:24,165
Thanks for fixing my wagon.
558
00:23:24,166 --> 00:23:25,865
Oh, you're welcome, dear.
559
00:23:25,866 --> 00:23:26,866
So long, Keith.
560
00:23:26,867 --> 00:23:28,265
See you, Willie.
561
00:23:28,266 --> 00:23:29,699
I'm sure gonna miss you all.
562
00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:31,099
Hey, can I come over some night
563
00:23:31,100 --> 00:23:32,232
and baby-sit?
564
00:23:32,233 --> 00:23:33,732
That's like going
to a shooting gallery
565
00:23:33,733 --> 00:23:35,499
and volunteering to be a duck.
566
00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:36,999
I'll take my chances.
Bye, Mr. Larkin.
567
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,599
So long. Goodbye,
Laurie. Take care.
568
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:39,799
You're welcome to come any time.
569
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,165
Reuben: Well, now
you can get back
570
00:23:42,166 --> 00:23:44,765
to being a serious bachelor.
571
00:23:44,766 --> 00:23:46,286
Why Don't you call
your friend, Doris?
572
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,299
I wish you hadn't mentioned her.
573
00:23:49,300 --> 00:23:50,632
Why? What's wrong?
574
00:23:50,633 --> 00:23:51,633
I just talked to her.
575
00:23:51,634 --> 00:23:52,832
She doesn't wanna see me again.
576
00:23:52,833 --> 00:23:54,832
She says I had my
chance and I blew it.
577
00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:55,965
Oh, no.
578
00:23:55,966 --> 00:23:57,000
You mean because of us?
579
00:23:59,900 --> 00:24:01,299
Oh, I Don't know what to say.
580
00:24:01,300 --> 00:24:02,699
I... i'm so sorry.
581
00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:05,132
Me too. She was
my fiancée, you know.
582
00:24:05,133 --> 00:24:06,532
We were gonna be
married next week.
583
00:24:06,533 --> 00:24:07,533
Oh, I didn't know.
584
00:24:08,566 --> 00:24:10,132
Oh, I feel terrible about this.
585
00:24:10,133 --> 00:24:11,465
So do I.
586
00:24:11,466 --> 00:24:13,032
I really like you and the kids.
587
00:24:13,033 --> 00:24:14,432
In fact, I hate to do it.
588
00:24:14,433 --> 00:24:15,865
Do what?
589
00:24:15,866 --> 00:24:17,599
Sue you for a million dollars.
590
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:18,600
What?
591
00:24:18,601 --> 00:24:19,799
For alienation of affection.
592
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,199
Like you said, it's your fault
593
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,999
that she's alienating
me from her affection.
594
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,299
Oh, wait a minute.
595
00:24:25,300 --> 00:24:26,399
If a little thing
596
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,199
like a back injury is
worth half a million,
597
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,200
a broken heart
598
00:24:29,201 --> 00:24:30,599
has to be worth twice as much.
599
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,299
Come on, let's go.
600
00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:33,932
But I'm willing to
settle out of court.
601
00:24:33,933 --> 00:24:35,999
Come here, kids.
602
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,132
What for?
603
00:24:37,133 --> 00:24:39,366
A million-dollar hug.
604
00:24:46,833 --> 00:24:49,533
[♪♪♪]
41736
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