Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,220
[THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY'S
"COME ON GET HAPPY" PLAYING]
2
00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:12,190
? Hello, world, hear the song
That we're singing ?
3
00:00:12,390 --> 00:00:15,080
? Come on, get happy ?
4
00:00:17,110 --> 00:00:21,050
? A whole lot of lovin'
Is what we'll be bringing ?
5
00:00:21,250 --> 00:00:23,200
? We'll make you happy ?
6
00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:28,170
? We had a dream
We'd go traveling together ?
7
00:00:28,370 --> 00:00:30,130
? We'd spread a little love ?
8
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,140
? And then we'll keep
Movin' on ?
9
00:00:32,340 --> 00:00:35,170
? Something always happens
Whenever we're together ?
10
00:00:35,370 --> 00:00:39,050
? We get a happy feeling
When we're singing a song ?
11
00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:43,000
? Traveling along there's
A song that we're singing ?
12
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,930
? Come on, get happy ?
13
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:51,140
? A whole lot of lovin'
Is what we'll be bringing ?
14
00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:54,100
? We'll make you happy ?
15
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:58,130
? We'll make you happy ?
16
00:00:58,330 --> 00:01:02,020
? We'll make you happy ?
17
00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:05,030
[???]
18
00:01:05,230 --> 00:01:08,000
Mom, someday can I sort
clothes all by myself?
19
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,910
Sure, when you
get old enough.
20
00:01:10,110 --> 00:01:12,080
How will I know
when I'm old enough?
21
00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,910
When you don't
want to do it.
22
00:01:14,110 --> 00:01:16,220
Danny, all I need is a buck.
No way.
23
00:01:16,420 --> 00:01:18,840
You'd just squander it
on cheap thrills.
24
00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:20,850
There's a beautiful new girl
in school
25
00:01:21,050 --> 00:01:23,020
and she wants me
to show her the town.
26
00:01:23,220 --> 00:01:23,930
Now, I need a buck!
27
00:01:24,130 --> 00:01:26,200
You're gonna show a girl
the town on a dollar?
28
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:27,960
It's not that big a town.
29
00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:32,000
Then I'll give you a nickel.
Buy her a picture postcard.
30
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,940
Danny Partridge.
Yeah, Mom.
31
00:01:34,140 --> 00:01:36,870
This is a brand-new shirt
and there are already
32
00:01:37,070 --> 00:01:38,820
two buttons missing off
the front.
33
00:01:39,020 --> 00:01:40,210
Make him pay for a new one.
34
00:01:40,410 --> 00:01:43,170
It's not my fault.
Gloria Hickey tore them off.
35
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,880
Who?
Gloria Hickey.
36
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:47,920
She's a girl in school
and she hates me.
37
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,170
So she came up
and ripped my buttons off.
38
00:01:50,370 --> 00:01:52,030
Danny,
I know Gloria Hickey.
39
00:01:52,230 --> 00:01:55,030
You must have done something
to her first.
40
00:01:55,230 --> 00:01:56,880
Nothing.
41
00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:59,020
Well, it was an accident.
42
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:00,820
I was walking along,
43
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:04,220
and suddenly, I discovered I had
a ball of mud in my hand.
44
00:02:04,420 --> 00:02:05,960
And I thought to myself:
45
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,170
"Boy, it sure is dumb for me
to be holding this ball of mud."
46
00:02:09,370 --> 00:02:10,890
So I tossed it away.
47
00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:14,130
And you hit Gloria right in
the back of the head with it.
48
00:02:14,330 --> 00:02:16,200
Boy, it was a great shot.
Thanks a lot.
49
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,220
Why did you hit her
with a mud ball?
50
00:02:18,420 --> 00:02:20,190
I can't stand her
and she's a creep.
51
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,180
Danny!
I'll get it.
52
00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:24,030
Danny!
53
00:02:27,220 --> 00:02:29,030
Gloria!
Hi, Danny.
54
00:02:29,230 --> 00:02:31,870
Listen, I'm sorry about
hitting you in the head
55
00:02:32,070 --> 00:02:32,960
with the mud ball.
56
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,090
That's okay.
It was a great shot.
57
00:02:35,290 --> 00:02:37,070
Did you come over to see me?
No.
58
00:02:37,270 --> 00:02:39,230
Oh.
I came over to see your mom.
59
00:02:39,430 --> 00:02:40,930
I'm selling cookies
60
00:02:41,130 --> 00:02:42,980
and I thought she might wanna
buy a box.
61
00:02:43,180 --> 00:02:45,230
Well, you're talking
to the right person.
62
00:02:45,430 --> 00:02:46,900
I handle all the finances.
63
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:49,130
How much are they?
A dollar a box.
64
00:02:49,330 --> 00:02:54,060
Nothing to it. I'll just
have to dip into petty cash.
65
00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:56,070
[???]
66
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,140
SHIRLEY:
Danny, who was at the door?
67
00:03:06,340 --> 00:03:08,910
Uh, it was Gloria Hickey.
68
00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:11,110
She came over to apologize
69
00:03:11,310 --> 00:03:14,230
for tearing the buttons off
my shirt.
70
00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:15,960
Twelve boxes of cookies?
71
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,100
Looks like you came out on
the short end of the apology.
72
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:22,000
Don't tell anybody
I bought them.
73
00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:26,830
Now, see what you made me do?
Me?
74
00:03:27,030 --> 00:03:28,830
Danny, what'd you break now?
75
00:03:29,030 --> 00:03:31,120
Nothing.
He dropped his cookies.
76
00:03:32,150 --> 00:03:33,800
Where'd you get them?
77
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,220
He bought them
from Gloria Hickey.
78
00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:38,850
I didn't buy them.
I mugged her.
79
00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:43,050
Why would you buy all those
cookies from a girl you can't--?
80
00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:44,980
[???]
81
00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:48,230
I don't believe it.
Danny's in love.
82
00:03:48,430 --> 00:03:50,000
I am not in love.
83
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:54,000
She's ugly, she's got buck teeth
and I never wanna see her again.
84
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,100
[???]
85
00:03:57,150 --> 00:03:59,070
He's in love, all right.
86
00:03:59,270 --> 00:04:02,040
[???]
87
00:04:05,220 --> 00:04:08,090
[???]
88
00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:18,070
[???]
89
00:04:19,130 --> 00:04:22,080
Is Danny really in love?
90
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:25,820
If he spent $12, he's in love.
91
00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:29,090
If she likes Danny,
she ought to get a merit badge.
92
00:04:29,290 --> 00:04:30,840
All right, that's enough.
93
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,890
I don't want you kids
teasing him.
94
00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:35,200
Having your first crush
on a girl is tough enough
95
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,900
without you making it worse.
96
00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:39,140
Mom, I've been waiting years
for this.
97
00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:40,820
No. Understood?
98
00:04:41,020 --> 00:04:43,120
I'm gonna have
a talk with him.
99
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:47,860
Keith, well, what do
11-year-old kids do on a date?
100
00:04:48,060 --> 00:04:52,040
I don't know. They can't neck.
Danny doesn't have one.
101
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:57,100
Wish I'd have said that.
Glad I did.
102
00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:58,230
[???]
103
00:05:06,070 --> 00:05:09,880
Danny, I want to talk to you.
104
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,960
DANNY:
About what?
105
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,230
About Gloria.
106
00:05:13,430 --> 00:05:15,850
I hate Gloria.
107
00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:18,150
Then why did you buy
all those cookies from her?
108
00:05:18,350 --> 00:05:21,050
She gave me a good deal.
It was strictly business.
109
00:05:23,050 --> 00:05:28,810
Danny, every boy starts
to like girls sooner or later.
110
00:05:29,010 --> 00:05:30,220
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
111
00:05:30,420 --> 00:05:32,170
But it couldn't be love, Mom.
112
00:05:32,370 --> 00:05:34,830
Love is beautiful and nice.
113
00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:37,020
You know, you must've
read about it.
114
00:05:37,220 --> 00:05:38,990
A little.
115
00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:41,220
Well, I don't feel
any of that.
116
00:05:41,420 --> 00:05:45,130
When I see Gloria, I get this
strange yearning inside.
117
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,990
What kind of yearning?
118
00:05:49,190 --> 00:05:50,900
I don't wanna talk about it.
119
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,200
You'll think I'm some kind
of "prevert."
120
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:59,070
Danny, I promise I won't think
you're some kind of "prevert."
121
00:05:59,270 --> 00:06:03,220
Well, when I see her,
I get this yearning,
122
00:06:03,420 --> 00:06:07,900
this uncontrollable desire
to grab her
123
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:11,060
and run up
and punch her in the arm.
124
00:06:11,260 --> 00:06:12,030
It's not normal.
125
00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:13,870
I've seen lots of movies
126
00:06:14,070 --> 00:06:16,120
and not one of them does
the hero run up
127
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,000
and punch the girl
in the arm.
128
00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:23,970
Danny, it isn't normal
for adults,
129
00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:27,060
but it's very normal
for an 11-year-old boy.
130
00:06:27,260 --> 00:06:28,840
It is?
131
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:31,210
It's a young boy's way
of getting a girl's attention.
132
00:06:31,410 --> 00:06:33,870
You mean I'm normal?
Well, close.
133
00:06:34,070 --> 00:06:36,190
Boy, does that take
a load off my mind.
134
00:06:36,390 --> 00:06:38,900
Mom, when I see Gloria,
135
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:41,200
I also get another
uncontrollable desire.
136
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,860
Oh?
137
00:06:43,060 --> 00:06:46,110
Yeah, to ask her
to the sixth-grade dance.
138
00:06:46,310 --> 00:06:51,000
Well, then ask her.
I can't. I'm afraid.
139
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,160
[???]
140
00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,070
Oh, honey.
141
00:06:56,030 --> 00:06:57,090
[KNOCKING]
142
00:06:57,290 --> 00:06:58,210
Come in.
143
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:07,110
Laurie, I know I've been rotten
to you in the past.
144
00:07:07,310 --> 00:07:08,820
Constantly.
145
00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:11,110
And I hope you can
forget all that,
146
00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:14,150
because I'm about
to bare my soul to you.
147
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,210
Oh?
I'm involved with a woman.
148
00:07:16,410 --> 00:07:19,940
A woman? Are you talking
about Gloria Hickey?
149
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,950
Now, let's leave personalities
out of it.
150
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:27,010
I've been studying a lot
of techniques to impress women,
151
00:07:27,210 --> 00:07:29,820
and since you're a woman,
sort of,
152
00:07:30,020 --> 00:07:32,000
I thought I might
try them out on you.
153
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,130
Sure. It might be educational.
154
00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:37,170
Okay, method number one.
155
00:07:39,220 --> 00:07:41,190
What are you doing?
Ignoring you.
156
00:07:41,390 --> 00:07:43,850
You know, playing hard to get.
Oh.
157
00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:47,140
If you ignore me,
how are you gonna ask me out?
158
00:07:47,340 --> 00:07:49,950
Maybe I ought to try method two.
Why not?
159
00:07:50,150 --> 00:07:52,830
Method number two.
Ask me what's on my mind.
160
00:07:53,030 --> 00:07:54,200
Okay, what's on your mind?
161
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,000
I can't tell you.
Why?
162
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,180
Because I'm deep, dark
and mysterious. Women love it.
163
00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:00,840
Wrong.
Wrong?
164
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,030
Better try method number three.
165
00:08:02,230 --> 00:08:04,190
I don't have a method
number three.
166
00:08:04,390 --> 00:08:08,870
Danny, if you're trying
to get the girl's attention,
167
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:11,150
you're going about it all wrong.
168
00:08:11,350 --> 00:08:12,880
Look, pretend I'm Gloria.
Why?
169
00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:14,850
Well, talk to me like you
talk to her.
170
00:08:15,050 --> 00:08:17,060
And I'll point out
your mistakes, okay?
171
00:08:17,260 --> 00:08:18,810
Okay, but you have
to turn your back.
172
00:08:19,010 --> 00:08:20,220
I always walk up on her
from behind.
173
00:08:20,420 --> 00:08:21,950
Why do you do that?
174
00:08:22,150 --> 00:08:25,160
Because if she sees
me coming, she runs.
175
00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:27,130
Okay.
176
00:08:27,330 --> 00:08:29,110
[???]
177
00:08:34,170 --> 00:08:35,970
Hi, Gloria.
178
00:08:36,170 --> 00:08:39,230
Ow! Danny, that was
definitely a mistake.
179
00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:42,080
I got your attention,
didn't I?
180
00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,080
[???]
181
00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:55,030
Well, Danny finally got
up enough nerve
182
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,950
to ask Gloria to the dance.
183
00:08:57,150 --> 00:08:58,940
I hope she's wearing
shoulder pads.
184
00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:00,210
Look, when he comes down,
185
00:09:00,410 --> 00:09:02,860
I don't want you kids
teasing him.
186
00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:04,910
He's scared to death
and if you tease him,
187
00:09:05,110 --> 00:09:06,200
he's sure to back out.
188
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,040
[CLEARS THROAT]
189
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:09,230
[???]
190
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:22,220
TRACY: You look funny.
That does it. I'm not going.
191
00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:23,900
Oh, now, wait
a minute, Danny.
192
00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:26,180
Danny, there's nothing
to be afraid of.
193
00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:27,850
That's easy for you to say.
194
00:09:28,050 --> 00:09:29,800
You've never had to ask
a girl out.
195
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,210
But, Danny, there's
nothing to it.
196
00:09:31,410 --> 00:09:34,090
Excuse us.
It's time for man talk.
197
00:09:34,290 --> 00:09:36,010
Come here.
198
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:38,880
Danny, if there's anything
199
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:40,910
you want to know
about handling women,
200
00:09:41,110 --> 00:09:43,190
and you want to get it
from a real pro,
201
00:09:43,390 --> 00:09:45,860
you know who to ask.
202
00:09:46,060 --> 00:09:49,150
Yeah, but I already
asked Keith. He was no help.
203
00:09:49,350 --> 00:09:52,020
I was talking about myself.
204
00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:53,010
Mr. Kincaid,
205
00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:57,010
I know you're trying to make me
feel better by making me laugh.
206
00:09:57,210 --> 00:09:59,170
Bless you.
207
00:09:59,370 --> 00:10:01,110
[???]
208
00:10:03,140 --> 00:10:04,830
Danny...
209
00:10:05,030 --> 00:10:08,900
Look, Danny,
it's easy to ask a girl out,
210
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:12,210
especially for someone
as brave as you.
211
00:10:12,410 --> 00:10:17,190
Right. Why, dazzle her with
your impish grin and overpower--
212
00:10:17,390 --> 00:10:19,070
Well, don't overpower.
213
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:21,860
Overwhelm her
with your natural charm.
214
00:10:22,060 --> 00:10:24,100
You really think
I have natural charm?
215
00:10:24,300 --> 00:10:27,100
Yeah, we don't talk about it
because we're jealous.
216
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:28,800
I don't think you have charm.
217
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,170
Well, you're jealous.
218
00:10:30,370 --> 00:10:31,870
That's the spirit.
219
00:10:32,070 --> 00:10:33,860
Yeah, what's there
to be afraid of?
220
00:10:34,060 --> 00:10:36,800
I'll walk right up, look her
straight in the eye and say:
221
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,110
"Gloria, I want you to go
to the dance with me."
222
00:10:39,310 --> 00:10:41,030
Good.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
223
00:10:41,230 --> 00:10:42,080
I'll get it.
224
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,120
GLORIA:
Hi, Danny.
225
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,040
I can't do it.
226
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,010
[???]
227
00:10:51,210 --> 00:10:55,210
Well, so much for natural charm.
Let's go have some ice cream.
228
00:10:55,410 --> 00:10:57,080
[DOORBELL RINGS]
229
00:11:00,030 --> 00:11:02,190
Hi, Mrs. Partridge.
Hi, Gloria.
230
00:11:02,390 --> 00:11:05,120
I'm sorry if Danny acted
rather strange.
231
00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,020
I didn't notice.
232
00:11:07,220 --> 00:11:09,970
Oh. Oh, come in.
233
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,030
Mrs. Partridge, we're having
a sixth-grade dance at school,
234
00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:16,230
and the girls can ask the guys
because the guys chicken out
235
00:11:16,430 --> 00:11:18,230
and won't ask the girls,
you know?
236
00:11:18,430 --> 00:11:19,890
I certainly do.
237
00:11:20,090 --> 00:11:22,150
Gloria, are you here
to ask my brother out?
238
00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:25,180
Yeah. Do you think he'll go?
Oh, I think he would.
239
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:27,900
In fact, I'm certain of it.
240
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:30,860
Really? I never dreamed
it would come true.
241
00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:33,910
I have such a crush on him.
Why don't you ask him.
242
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,160
Between us women,
he has a crush on you too.
243
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:40,040
I don't believe it. Keith
Partridge has a crush on me?
244
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,030
[???]
245
00:11:55,150 --> 00:11:58,980
Poor Danny.
What are we gonna do?
246
00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:00,860
I really don't know.
247
00:12:01,060 --> 00:12:03,200
I've never been
in a situation like this before.
248
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:06,900
I was once.
I was in love with Rose Barker,
249
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:09,820
and she was in love
with Captain Kangaroo.
250
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:10,930
Captain Kangaroo?
251
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:13,080
Oh, she wasn't in love
with the man.
252
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,170
She was in love
with the image.
253
00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:19,160
Hi.
254
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,010
[???]
255
00:12:21,210 --> 00:12:23,090
Why does everybody look so glum?
256
00:12:26,090 --> 00:12:31,840
Keith, I'm afraid
you have a big problem.
257
00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,970
Oh, I do?
Mm-hm.
258
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:36,200
Little Gloria Hickey's
in love with you.
259
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:39,820
Is this a put-on?
Afraid not, brother.
260
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,080
She's gonna ask you
to the sixth-grade dance.
261
00:12:43,210 --> 00:12:45,170
Poor Danny.
Does he know?
262
00:12:45,370 --> 00:12:48,130
No, and I don't want him
to know.
263
00:12:48,330 --> 00:12:50,860
It would break his heart.
264
00:12:51,060 --> 00:12:52,200
What am I gonna do?
265
00:12:56,220 --> 00:13:01,850
Laurie, Mom, Mr. Kincaid.
266
00:13:02,050 --> 00:13:04,050
Home wrecker!
267
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,020
[???]
268
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:10,010
I think he knows.
269
00:13:10,210 --> 00:13:12,080
[???]
270
00:13:14,110 --> 00:13:15,900
Did you talk to Danny?
271
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:18,230
I tried to last night.
He just didn't want to talk.
272
00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:20,030
I wish I could help him.
273
00:13:20,230 --> 00:13:21,950
Oh, he'll get over it.
274
00:13:22,150 --> 00:13:24,150
Kids forget those things
pretty fast.
275
00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:25,810
I hope so.
276
00:13:26,010 --> 00:13:28,920
Boy, that does it.
It's not fair.
277
00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,210
I mean, I can understand
a guy wanting revenge,
278
00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:32,970
why must the innocent
always suffer?
279
00:13:33,170 --> 00:13:35,220
Keith, why are you walking
around with a comb
280
00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:36,950
sticking out of your head?
281
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,830
Why? I'll tell you why.
It's stuck there for good.
282
00:13:40,030 --> 00:13:41,070
Danny put molasses on it.
283
00:13:42,170 --> 00:13:43,920
Yeah, well,
it's not funny.
284
00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:47,150
Not only did he mess with my
head, he short-sheeted my bed.
285
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:49,120
Then, during the middle
of the night,
286
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:52,860
he poured
corn flakes all over me.
287
00:13:53,060 --> 00:13:54,180
I didn't get any sleep at all.
288
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:56,810
I snapped, crackled
and popped all night.
289
00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:57,960
Poor Danny.
"Poor Danny"?
290
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,230
You weren't the one
who got breakfast in bed.
291
00:14:00,430 --> 00:14:03,810
Keith, he thinks you stole
his girlfriend.
292
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,090
Right, you're a home wrecker.
293
00:14:06,290 --> 00:14:08,180
I am an innocent
home wrecker.
294
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:09,860
Look, I can't get mad at him
295
00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:12,150
because I understand
the way he must feel,
296
00:14:12,350 --> 00:14:14,840
but that still doesn't get
the comb out of my hair.
297
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,220
All right,
I'll go and talk to him.
298
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,860
No.
299
00:14:18,060 --> 00:14:19,880
No, this is between me
and Danny.
300
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:23,140
I think it's about time we had
a man-to-almost-man talk.
301
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:24,210
[???]
302
00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:29,210
[KNOCKING]
303
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,090
Danny, can I talk
to you a minute?
304
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:39,080
Sure. Why not? You won.
You have the right to gloat.
305
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,880
I am not here to gloat.
306
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:43,860
Why? I'd gloat if I were you.
307
00:14:44,060 --> 00:14:46,200
You have the most beautiful
girl in the whole world
308
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:47,860
in love with you.
309
00:14:48,060 --> 00:14:50,090
You're Mr. Lucky
and I'm Mr. Loser.
310
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:53,000
Danny, I'm sorry
this whole thing happened.
311
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:54,200
I can't accept your apology.
312
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:58,910
I'm not apologizing.
I have nothing to apologize for.
313
00:14:59,110 --> 00:15:00,890
Sure. It's not your fault
314
00:15:01,090 --> 00:15:02,870
you stole my girlfriend
from me.
315
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:06,210
It's not your fault you broke up
a beautiful relationship.
316
00:15:06,410 --> 00:15:11,020
It's not your fault
I cry myself to sleep at night.
317
00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:13,090
[???]
318
00:15:15,170 --> 00:15:18,080
Okay, yesterday I tried
the Mr. Nice-Guy approach
319
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:19,800
and it didn't work.
320
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,090
But something's gotta be done.
What's wrong?
321
00:15:22,290 --> 00:15:25,040
Last night Danny snuck
into my room again. Look.
322
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,220
"Danny loves Gloria"?
323
00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:30,890
While I'm dreaming
about native girls in Tahiti,
324
00:15:31,090 --> 00:15:32,200
that redheaded hamburger
325
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,230
is printing true confessions
on my chest,
326
00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:35,970
and he did it
in indelible ink.
327
00:15:36,170 --> 00:15:39,190
This situation is beginning to
get out of hand. Where is Danny?
328
00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:41,180
He's in the garage.
329
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:53,940
Danny, I wanna talk to you.
330
00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:55,880
It won't do any good, Mom.
331
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,820
I just have to reconcile myself
332
00:15:58,020 --> 00:16:00,120
to the fact that I'll be
miserable forever,
333
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,020
thanks to Keith.
334
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:06,040
That isn't gonna help at all.
335
00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:08,020
Honey...
336
00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:13,220
as you get older, you'll find
out that most of the time,
337
00:16:13,420 --> 00:16:16,800
love doesn't work out the way
you want it to.
338
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,130
And it does hurt.
339
00:16:18,330 --> 00:16:21,050
It hurts like fury.
340
00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:23,940
I'm sorry.
341
00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:27,220
But, Danny,
you can't honestly blame Keith.
342
00:16:29,020 --> 00:16:31,050
I mean, you can't really believe
343
00:16:31,250 --> 00:16:33,070
he's interested
in little Gloria.
344
00:16:33,270 --> 00:16:35,010
That makes it all the worse.
345
00:16:35,210 --> 00:16:38,000
To him, she's just another
wild fling.
346
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:38,940
Oh, Danny.
347
00:16:39,140 --> 00:16:41,210
But she doesn't like me, Mom.
348
00:16:41,410 --> 00:16:44,100
I have to blame somebody.
349
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:47,040
[???]
350
00:16:50,030 --> 00:16:51,170
[DOORBELL RINGS]
351
00:16:51,370 --> 00:16:54,060
I'll get it.
Okay.
352
00:16:54,260 --> 00:16:55,840
[???]
353
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,160
Hi, Keith.
Hi, Gloria.
354
00:16:59,220 --> 00:17:02,120
Uh, just a second.
355
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:06,960
Laurie, it's her.
What do I do?
356
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,220
What do you do
with girls in love with you?
357
00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:13,030
Laurie, you have a dirty mind.
She's 11 years old.
358
00:17:13,230 --> 00:17:15,030
I could tell her
Laurie...
359
00:17:15,230 --> 00:17:17,900
All right, there's only
one thing to do.
360
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:19,210
Break the truth to her gently
361
00:17:19,410 --> 00:17:21,160
and build Danny up
in the process.
362
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:24,160
She might get the hint.
Good idea.
363
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,180
Come on in, Gloria.
364
00:17:30,380 --> 00:17:32,980
[???]
365
00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:36,800
Gloria, don't you think
Danny's really a great guy?
366
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:41,200
He's icky. I love you, Keith,
and I know you love me too.
367
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:44,020
Laurie and your mom told me.
They did?
368
00:17:46,110 --> 00:17:48,130
Uh, excuse me, Gloria.
369
00:17:51,030 --> 00:17:52,820
You told her I loved her?
370
00:17:53,020 --> 00:17:55,070
We thought she was talking
about Danny.
371
00:17:55,270 --> 00:17:57,200
Thanks a lot.
Now what do I do?
372
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,830
It's up to you.
373
00:17:59,030 --> 00:18:01,000
I make it a point
never to interfere
374
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,160
with other people's love lives.
375
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:09,880
So she thinks she likes Keith.
Does that mean you're giving up?
376
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:13,090
You don't call it giving up
when the game's all over.
377
00:18:13,290 --> 00:18:17,010
Well, I never thought
I'd raise a quitter.
378
00:18:17,210 --> 00:18:19,180
Who's a quitter?
You are.
379
00:18:19,380 --> 00:18:22,800
Danny, most things in life
that people want
380
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,180
aren't just handed to them.
381
00:18:24,380 --> 00:18:27,140
If you really want something,
you have to keep trying.
382
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:28,880
You mean I should fight
for Gloria?
383
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,190
That's exactly what I mean.
384
00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:31,910
I think you're right.
385
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:34,180
I'm gonna go over
to Gloria's house right now
386
00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:36,020
and punch her in the arm.
387
00:18:36,220 --> 00:18:37,100
[???]
388
00:18:40,170 --> 00:18:43,200
So I came over to ask you
to go to the sixth-grade dance.
389
00:18:46,050 --> 00:18:49,880
Gloria-- Miss Hickey.
390
00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:53,110
Miss Hickey, I'd love to go
to the dance with you but--
391
00:18:53,310 --> 00:18:54,800
You long-haired hamburger,
392
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,020
that's my girlfriend
you're asking out!
393
00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:58,800
Danny, wait a minute.
Leave me alone!
394
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,170
Danny, you don't understand.
I understand enough!
395
00:19:01,370 --> 00:19:02,970
What's going on?
396
00:19:03,170 --> 00:19:04,890
A fight for the honor
of a woman.
397
00:19:05,090 --> 00:19:07,160
We are not fighting
for the honor of a woman.
398
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,090
I'm not interested in her.
She's 11 years old.
399
00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:12,220
[???]
400
00:19:15,180 --> 00:19:18,810
SHIRLEY: Gloria!
Miss Hickey!
401
00:19:19,010 --> 00:19:21,130
Now see what you've done?
402
00:19:21,330 --> 00:19:23,040
[???]
403
00:19:28,130 --> 00:19:29,220
[DOORBELL RINGS]
404
00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:44,880
Gloria, come on in.
405
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,190
I guess you're here
to see Keith.
406
00:19:47,390 --> 00:19:49,080
No, I'm here to see you.
407
00:19:50,180 --> 00:19:54,080
Danny, I have to talk to you,
alone.
408
00:19:55,210 --> 00:19:58,830
We are alone.
Oh, yeah.
409
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:01,010
Danny,
I have a confession to make.
410
00:20:01,210 --> 00:20:04,010
I'm not in love
with Keith anymore.
411
00:20:04,210 --> 00:20:05,900
You're not?
No.
412
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:10,030
Yesterday you were willing to
fight for me, but he wouldn't.
413
00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:12,110
He couldn't love me.
414
00:20:12,310 --> 00:20:14,940
Well, I knew it all along.
415
00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:18,880
I just wanted to break it
to you gently.
416
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,020
You're so considerate.
That's true.
417
00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:23,830
And, Danny?
Yeah?
418
00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:27,130
Would you take me
to the dance tomorrow night?
419
00:20:27,330 --> 00:20:29,070
[???]
420
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:34,120
[SINGING "I WOULD HAVE
LOVED YOU ANYWAY"]
421
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,140
? Ooh ?
422
00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:40,820
? Ooh ?
423
00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:43,140
? You know that
I've been watchin' you ?
424
00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:45,120
? For quite some time ?
425
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:50,810
? Tryin' to find a way
Of makin' you mine ?
426
00:20:51,010 --> 00:20:54,180
? Long before you started
A-comin' on strong with me ?
427
00:20:54,380 --> 00:20:58,970
? With a super charm that
Brought me down to see ?
428
00:20:59,170 --> 00:21:02,080
? Hey, didn't you know
that you've been actin' ?
429
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,080
? Like a movie star ?
430
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:09,030
? And didn't you think
I'd dig the person you are ?
431
00:21:09,230 --> 00:21:13,130
? No, you never really had
To put on all that show ?
432
00:21:13,330 --> 00:21:19,050
? I decided when I met you
A long long time ago ?
433
00:21:19,250 --> 00:21:22,000
? Whoa whoa ?
434
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:26,170
? I would have
Loved you anyway ?
435
00:21:26,370 --> 00:21:31,020
? I would have thought
You were fine ?
436
00:21:31,220 --> 00:21:34,970
? I would have taken you
Any day ?
437
00:21:35,170 --> 00:21:38,220
? I still would try
To make you mine ?
438
00:21:38,420 --> 00:21:44,840
? I would have loved you
Anyhow ?
439
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,910
? I would have thought
You were okay ?
440
00:21:49,110 --> 00:21:53,080
? Just like I'm lovin' you
Here and now ?
441
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:57,140
? Tellin' ya I'll never go away
Go away ?
442
00:21:57,340 --> 00:21:59,210
? Go away ?
443
00:22:07,150 --> 00:22:12,000
? So you never really had
To put on all that show ?
444
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:16,150
? I decided when I met you
A long, long time ago ?
445
00:22:16,350 --> 00:22:19,890
? Whoa whoa ?
446
00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:24,810
? I would have
Loved you anyway ?
447
00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:29,080
? I would have thought
You were fine ?
448
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:33,050
? I would have taken you
Any day ?
449
00:22:33,250 --> 00:22:37,830
? I still would try
To make you mine ?
450
00:22:38,030 --> 00:22:41,220
? I would have loved you
Anyhow ?
451
00:22:41,420 --> 00:22:42,870
[APPLAUSE]
452
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:45,050
? I would have thought
You were okay ?
453
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,170
[GIRLS GIGGLING]
454
00:23:03,130 --> 00:23:06,140
No one wants an autograph
from a home wrecker.
455
00:23:06,340 --> 00:23:09,130
[???]
456
00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:19,840
[???]
457
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,030
Danny, tell us what you and
Gloria Hickey did on your date.
458
00:23:23,230 --> 00:23:26,190
No way. I told you, a gentleman
doesn't discuss those things.
459
00:23:26,390 --> 00:23:28,020
Can't you tell us
just a little?
460
00:23:28,220 --> 00:23:31,150
Laurie, you're a woman.
I thought you'd understand.
461
00:23:31,350 --> 00:23:33,000
Girls are also curious.
462
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:34,950
I can't betray
my confidence.
463
00:23:35,150 --> 00:23:37,090
KEITH:
Mm-hm. Can I tell you why he
464
00:23:37,290 --> 00:23:38,830
can't betray his confidence?
465
00:23:39,030 --> 00:23:42,130
Because nothing happened.
That's not true. A lot happened.
466
00:23:43,180 --> 00:23:44,950
Like what?
467
00:23:45,150 --> 00:23:47,180
Well, like when I was
standing on one side
468
00:23:47,380 --> 00:23:48,910
of the gym with the guys
469
00:23:49,110 --> 00:23:52,810
and Gloria was standing on
the other side with the girls,
470
00:23:53,010 --> 00:23:55,150
well, she finally came over
and asked me to dance.
471
00:23:55,350 --> 00:23:57,210
Why didn't you ask her to dance?
472
00:23:57,410 --> 00:23:59,180
I was ignoring her.
473
00:24:01,060 --> 00:24:03,150
A woman loves it
when a guy ignores her.
474
00:24:03,350 --> 00:24:07,170
Forget the dance. Get to the
good stuff, after the dance.
475
00:24:07,370 --> 00:24:09,900
Well, after the dance,
I walked her home.
476
00:24:10,100 --> 00:24:13,160
It was a beautiful
moonlit night, really romantic,
477
00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:14,940
just like in the movies.
478
00:24:15,140 --> 00:24:18,200
Don't tell me.
You looked deep into her eyes.
479
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,160
Yeah, I did that.
480
00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:23,900
Then you realized
it was true love
481
00:24:24,100 --> 00:24:25,170
and you reached for her,
482
00:24:25,370 --> 00:24:27,160
and then you punched
her in the arm.
483
00:24:27,360 --> 00:24:29,960
Were you following me?
Just a guess.
484
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:34,010
Well, you left out the best
part. She punched me back.
485
00:24:34,210 --> 00:24:37,170
I swear I'll never
wash this shoulder again.
486
00:24:37,370 --> 00:24:42,230
Why not?
Because I can't lift my arm.
487
00:24:42,430 --> 00:24:45,170
[???]
488
00:24:51,170 --> 00:24:53,230
[???]
33071
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof