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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,220
[THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY'S
"COME ON GET HAPPY" PLAYING]
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? Hello, world, hear the song
That we're singing ?
3
00:00:12,390 --> 00:00:16,830
? Come on, get happy ?
4
00:00:17,030 --> 00:00:21,050
? A whole lot of lovin'
Is what we'll be bringing ?
5
00:00:21,250 --> 00:00:23,170
? We'll make you happy ?
6
00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:27,960
? We had a dream
We'd go traveling together ?
7
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:29,920
? We'd spread a little love ?
8
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,930
? And then we'll keep
Movin' on ?
9
00:00:32,130 --> 00:00:35,170
? Something always happens
Whenever we're together ?
10
00:00:35,370 --> 00:00:39,050
? We get a happy feeling
When we're singing a song ?
11
00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:43,000
? Traveling along there's
A song that we're singing ?
12
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,960
? Come on, get happy ?
13
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:51,140
? A whole lot of lovin'
Is what we'll be bringing ?
14
00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:54,100
? We'll make you happy ?
15
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:58,130
? We'll make you happy ?
16
00:00:58,330 --> 00:01:02,020
? We'll make you happy ?
17
00:01:04,090 --> 00:01:07,210
[???]
18
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,100
Wake up, Mom.
19
00:01:13,010 --> 00:01:15,070
What is it, honey?
Where's the eggs?
20
00:01:15,270 --> 00:01:19,140
In the refrigerator, behind
the leftover Brussels sprouts.
21
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,030
Thank you.
22
00:01:30,020 --> 00:01:31,230
Mom, where's the butter?
23
00:01:31,430 --> 00:01:35,010
Refrigerator. Top shelf.
24
00:01:35,210 --> 00:01:39,040
Next to Tracy's leftover
peanut-butter sandwich.
25
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,010
Thank you.
26
00:01:48,180 --> 00:01:50,920
Mom, where's the caviars?
27
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We don't have any.
28
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:55,070
Thank you.
29
00:01:55,270 --> 00:01:57,090
[???]
30
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Caviar?
31
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[???]
32
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[MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
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What's going on?
Who's singing?
34
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Whoever it is,
it could use a vocal coach.
35
00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:18,050
It could use a muffler.
What's going on?
36
00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:22,070
I'm not sure, but I think it has
something to do with caviar.
37
00:02:23,220 --> 00:02:25,980
Caviar?
38
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MAN:
You sing it with me, okay?
39
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,070
[SINGING IN RUSSIAN]
40
00:02:37,070 --> 00:02:40,060
Sing it. Sing it good. Give it
me some brandy. Okay, sing.
41
00:02:44,180 --> 00:02:45,870
Hi, Mom.
42
00:02:46,070 --> 00:02:48,800
Ah, good morning,
kind, gracious, hospitable,
43
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,190
American,
middle-class family.
44
00:02:50,390 --> 00:02:51,960
Your breakfast
is ready.
45
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,970
Who are you, and what are you
doing in my kitchen?
46
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We invited him in.
CHRIS: Yeah, he looked lonely,
47
00:02:58,270 --> 00:03:00,990
lying out there
in the gutter.
48
00:03:01,190 --> 00:03:03,800
The gutter is not
my living quarters.
49
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,890
I was merely painting
your house number on the curb.
50
00:03:07,090 --> 00:03:10,200
Oh. You must be the man
from the Home Helper Service.
51
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,880
I am Nicholas Minsky
Pushkin.
52
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,200
Since your charming children
were so delightful
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00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,890
and invited me in,
54
00:03:17,090 --> 00:03:20,070
I decided to make it for you
a luxurious, authentic,
55
00:03:20,270 --> 00:03:23,030
and very delicious
Russian breakfast.
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00:03:23,230 --> 00:03:24,100
[???]
57
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:27,840
Please, sit down.
58
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:32,150
This morning, you are going
to eat it like Russians.
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00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:33,810
Just a second.
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00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:36,130
I dedicate this breakfast
to you,
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00:03:36,330 --> 00:03:38,080
beautiful lady.
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Behold.
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00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:46,080
Eggs,
Siberian style.
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00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:48,960
Ta-da.
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00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:52,810
Of course, I am world famous
for this dish.
66
00:03:53,010 --> 00:03:56,090
But then, I am world famous
for many things.
67
00:03:56,290 --> 00:03:58,810
Master chef,
expert horseman.
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00:03:59,010 --> 00:04:00,160
Part-time Cossack.
69
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,900
And of course, I am also known
as a great artist.
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00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:06,040
You've probably
heard of me.
71
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,180
Pushkin the Magnificent?
72
00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:13,100
Um, Pushkin the Peasant?
73
00:04:17,050 --> 00:04:20,000
From Pinsk?
74
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,030
Mr. Pushkin,
75
00:04:22,230 --> 00:04:24,910
you can't just come into
someone's home
76
00:04:25,110 --> 00:04:27,050
and fix yourself breakfast.
77
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:30,930
Oh, I did not do this for
myself. I did this for you.
78
00:04:31,130 --> 00:04:33,850
Sometimes my enthusiastic-ness
over-bubbles.
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00:04:34,050 --> 00:04:36,170
I'm very sorry.
I will-- I will go now.
80
00:04:36,370 --> 00:04:38,160
Thank you for your hospitality.
81
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,950
Wait, I-- I wasn't
asking you to leave.
82
00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:44,170
It's just-- What I meant was,
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00:04:44,370 --> 00:04:47,130
you should ask before
you fix breakfast.
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00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:52,210
I-- I never thought for to ask
to do it, a good deed.
85
00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:57,190
You are very wise lady.
86
00:04:57,390 --> 00:04:59,910
[???]
87
00:05:00,110 --> 00:05:02,970
Please. Wait.
88
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:06,100
Sit down.
It would make you happy?
89
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:08,920
We'd be overcome with joy.
90
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,030
In that case,
you got it, a deal.
91
00:05:15,090 --> 00:05:17,220
Eat up, eat up, more.
Because there's so much.
92
00:05:17,420 --> 00:05:20,060
I got the borscht,
what you never had before of.
93
00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:21,170
[???]
94
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:27,080
[???]
95
00:05:34,230 --> 00:05:35,900
[???]
96
00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:38,230
Oh, Nicholas,
that was a great breakfast.
97
00:05:38,430 --> 00:05:40,890
Yeah. I hope it didn't
ruin my appetite for lunch.
98
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:43,100
Thank you for sharing
your food with me.
99
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:44,190
I must repay you.
100
00:05:44,390 --> 00:05:46,820
Oh, wait.
There's nothing to repay us for.
101
00:05:47,020 --> 00:05:50,070
But you treated me to a meal
by a world-famous chef.
102
00:05:50,270 --> 00:05:52,860
But you're the world-famous
chef.
103
00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:54,810
Then you have heard of me.
104
00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:58,160
Then you've probably also heard
I always repay a kindness.
105
00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:01,220
I may be a peasant,
but I'm not a bum.
106
00:06:01,420 --> 00:06:02,960
Nicholas, really.
107
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:06,230
Maybe you got some kind of odd
jobs what needed to be done.
108
00:06:06,430 --> 00:06:08,900
No, we really don't.
Sure, we do.
109
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:11,160
He can clean out
the garage and mow the lawn.
110
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:13,130
Danny,
those are your jobs.
111
00:06:13,330 --> 00:06:16,120
I was just trying
to help the man out.
112
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:20,030
Say, Mom, he could fix
the windows that are stuck.
113
00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:23,130
Keith, I asked you to do that.
114
00:06:23,330 --> 00:06:27,850
Say no more. I will unstuck
the wonderful windows
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00:06:28,050 --> 00:06:29,170
of this wonderful family.
116
00:06:29,370 --> 00:06:32,060
[SINGING IN RUSSIAN]
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00:06:39,010 --> 00:06:40,130
Mom, do you get the feeling
118
00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:42,220
you've discovered
a charming Frankenstein?
119
00:06:42,420 --> 00:06:45,030
Was the Frankenstein
monster Russian?
120
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:49,140
His arm was.
His foot was Hungarian, I think.
121
00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:50,920
[???]
122
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:55,090
See, the monster was made up
of a lot of different people.
123
00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:59,040
Guess you had to be there.
124
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,190
[???]
125
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:30,820
Hi. Anybody home?
126
00:07:31,020 --> 00:07:34,180
Uh, who are you?
Never mind who are I.
127
00:07:34,380 --> 00:07:35,870
Who are you?
128
00:07:36,070 --> 00:07:39,080
And how come you don't
knock it on the door
129
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,020
from this wonderful family
130
00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:44,160
before you come into
their very private house?
131
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,860
Well, I won't do it again.
Oh, kind lady.
132
00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:50,020
I find this beady-eyed man
sneaking in the house.
133
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,090
Nicholas, he's our friend.
Friend?
134
00:07:52,290 --> 00:07:54,110
Not only that,
I am their manager.
135
00:07:54,310 --> 00:07:57,890
Oh, friend and mangler.
136
00:07:58,090 --> 00:08:01,980
Any friend from the Partridges
is a good friend from mine.
137
00:08:02,180 --> 00:08:05,200
Oh, kind lady, I'm going now
for to unstuck the windows.
138
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:09,120
Good to meet it.
A good friend, beady-eyed man.
139
00:08:11,230 --> 00:08:16,000
I liked it better when
we were enemies. Who was that?
140
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:20,200
His name is Nicholas
Minsky Pushkin from Pinsk.
141
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,960
Uh-huh.
142
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,860
Reuben,
he arrived here this morning
143
00:08:25,060 --> 00:08:28,140
and offered his many talents
in exchange for breakfast.
144
00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:29,970
Oh, I see.
A freeloader.
145
00:08:30,170 --> 00:08:32,140
No, he's not a freeloader.
146
00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:34,060
He offered to repay us.
147
00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:36,030
Repay you for what?
148
00:08:36,230 --> 00:08:38,890
Not sure.
This one works.
149
00:08:39,090 --> 00:08:42,090
Nicholas,
that window wasn't stuck.
150
00:08:42,290 --> 00:08:44,870
No?
151
00:08:45,070 --> 00:08:46,920
It is now.
152
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:51,090
But don't worry. I have
the strength of ten Kholmiakis.
153
00:08:51,290 --> 00:08:54,160
And I will...
154
00:08:56,190 --> 00:08:59,180
fix the broken glass.
155
00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:01,060
[???]
156
00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:08,000
That's it. I have unstuck
all your wonderful windows.
157
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,860
Hey, that's great.
Works like it's brand-new.
158
00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:14,030
Nicholas, thank you very much.
It's very nice of you.
159
00:09:14,230 --> 00:09:19,850
That was nothing for Pushkin the
Magnificent, beautiful ladies.
160
00:09:20,050 --> 00:09:23,150
Good night to you both, and I
will see you tomorrow morning.
161
00:09:23,350 --> 00:09:24,970
Tomorrow?
162
00:09:25,170 --> 00:09:28,010
To fix it, the chair.
163
00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:31,930
What chair?
The chair I broke
164
00:09:32,130 --> 00:09:35,030
when I stood on it for
to fix it, the window I broke.
165
00:09:35,230 --> 00:09:38,060
But don't worry
your pretty heads about it.
166
00:09:38,260 --> 00:09:41,800
I am an expert
at fixing chairs too.
167
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,120
Good night, gracious, warm,
168
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,010
kind,
middle-class American family.
169
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:49,010
[SINGING IN RUSSIAN]
170
00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:54,190
[???]
171
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,100
NICHOLAS:
Hello, beautiful family.
172
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:09,800
But where are you going?
173
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,830
We have a concert this weekend.
But you can't go.
174
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:16,120
I got to fix it, the things
I broke. I got an obligation.
175
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,200
But you fixed the chair
perfectly.
176
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,970
What about the ladder?
What ladder?
177
00:10:22,170 --> 00:10:26,050
The one I used to reach
the nails to fix it, the chair.
178
00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:29,860
One of the legs got stuck
in the garbage disintegrator.
179
00:10:30,060 --> 00:10:33,000
But I could fix it.
Oh, there's no need for that.
180
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,040
It was an old ladder. We were
gonna throw it away anyway.
181
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,150
Was it an old
garbage disintegrator?
182
00:10:38,350 --> 00:10:39,930
[???]
183
00:10:40,130 --> 00:10:42,950
Nicholas, believe me,
don't worry.
184
00:10:43,150 --> 00:10:46,150
You-- You've done more for us
than we deserve already.
185
00:10:46,350 --> 00:10:48,130
But I can't leave
a debt unpaid.
186
00:10:48,330 --> 00:10:50,810
SHIRLEY:
for everything.
187
00:10:51,010 --> 00:10:53,170
Bye.
Goodbye, kind lady.
188
00:11:03,070 --> 00:11:05,180
She thanks me. For what?
189
00:11:05,380 --> 00:11:07,190
[???]
190
00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:13,040
[APPLAUSE]
191
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:17,140
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
192
00:11:21,070 --> 00:11:24,010
? Last night
I couldn't fall asleep ?
193
00:11:24,210 --> 00:11:28,150
? Because I wanted to keep on
Thinkin' of you ?
194
00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:31,150
? Last night I was flyin' high ?
195
00:11:31,350 --> 00:11:35,200
? I was happy, I was happy ?
196
00:11:37,210 --> 00:11:40,890
? Last night
You told me something ?
197
00:11:41,090 --> 00:11:45,180
? That I won't forget
If I should live forever ?
198
00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:48,820
? Last night you said
You loved me ?
199
00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:53,010
? And it gave me fever
And I thought it over ?
200
00:11:53,210 --> 00:11:55,830
? Baby ?
201
00:11:56,030 --> 00:11:58,020
? My baby ?
202
00:11:58,220 --> 00:12:00,230
FAMILY:
? Ooh, baby ?
203
00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:04,890
ALL:
? When you are there I'm aware ?
204
00:12:05,090 --> 00:12:08,000
? That I must be dreaming ?
205
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,830
? When you are near ?
206
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:14,900
? I can hear my body screaming ?
207
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:19,110
? Never let me go, honey,
Never let me go, baby ?
208
00:12:19,310 --> 00:12:24,090
? Never let me go,
Never ever ever let me go ?
209
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,030
? Last night
I couldn't fall asleep ?
210
00:12:30,230 --> 00:12:33,830
? Because I wanted to keep on
Thinkin' of you ?
211
00:12:34,030 --> 00:12:35,120
FAMILY:
? Last night ?
212
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,190
? Last night I was flyin' high ?
213
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:41,850
? I was happy, I was happy ?
214
00:12:42,050 --> 00:12:44,940
? Last night
You told me something ?
215
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:49,210
? That I won't forget
If I should live forever ?
216
00:12:49,410 --> 00:12:52,820
? Last night you said
You loved me ?
217
00:12:53,020 --> 00:12:57,040
? And it gave me fever
And I thought it over ?
218
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:58,930
? Baby ?
219
00:12:59,130 --> 00:13:00,220
FAMILY:
? Ooh, baby ?
220
00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:02,870
? My baby ?
221
00:13:03,070 --> 00:13:04,210
FAMILY:
? Ooh, baby ?
222
00:13:04,410 --> 00:13:08,940
ALL:
? When you are there I'm aware ?
223
00:13:09,140 --> 00:13:11,840
? That I must be dreaming ?
224
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,160
? When you are near... ?
225
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:15,830
KEITH:
Oh, no.
226
00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:17,970
SHIRLEY:
Is something wrong?
227
00:13:18,170 --> 00:13:20,130
KEITH:
I see Nicholas' truck.
228
00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:21,870
And his tent.
229
00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:24,190
And I bet anything Nicholas
goes with them.
230
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:26,140
[???]
231
00:13:28,030 --> 00:13:31,810
Ah, beautiful American family.
232
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:34,090
SHIRLEY:
what are you doing here?
233
00:13:34,290 --> 00:13:36,230
I figured out a way
to repay you.
234
00:13:36,430 --> 00:13:38,190
I painted your garage.
235
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,990
It is a masterpiece.
236
00:13:42,190 --> 00:13:43,890
Well, it can't be too bad.
237
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:46,000
Garages are pretty hard
to break.
238
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,190
Come and see. The beauty of it
will clear your bloodshot,
239
00:13:49,390 --> 00:13:52,030
middle-class eyes. Come with me.
240
00:13:59,180 --> 00:14:02,180
REUBEN: Why is it covered?
I told you. It's a masterpiece.
241
00:14:02,380 --> 00:14:06,180
A masterpiece must be unveiled.
242
00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:08,160
[???]
243
00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:15,150
I don't believe it.
244
00:14:22,030 --> 00:14:25,150
That's my kind
of garage.
245
00:14:25,350 --> 00:14:27,210
[???]
246
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,900
[???]
247
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:41,850
Mom, you told us always keep
the garage door closed.
248
00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:43,860
Adults have no sense
of humor.
249
00:14:44,060 --> 00:14:45,850
Thank heavens
for the garage door.
250
00:14:46,050 --> 00:14:47,170
For why you raise
the door?
251
00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:49,020
Now it's only half
a masterpiece.
252
00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:52,200
Nicholas, I think you
and I should go inside the house
253
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,090
and have a little talk
about your masterpiece.
254
00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:57,040
[???]
255
00:15:06,190 --> 00:15:08,890
Tell me, what is wrong
with my painting?
256
00:15:09,090 --> 00:15:11,120
It doesn't belong
on a garage.
257
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:12,820
Is it dirty?
258
00:15:13,020 --> 00:15:13,990
Honey, it isn't dirty.
259
00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:17,200
The human body is beautiful.
There's nothing wrong with it.
260
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,160
Good. Then I'll
go lower the door.
261
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:22,830
But it doesn't belong
on a garage.
262
00:15:23,030 --> 00:15:26,130
You're asking me to paint
it over, a Pushkin original?
263
00:15:26,330 --> 00:15:27,830
Look at it this way,
Nicholas.
264
00:15:28,030 --> 00:15:29,850
You can paint
another Pushkin original.
265
00:15:30,050 --> 00:15:32,230
Only this time,
make it yellow with white trim.
266
00:15:32,430 --> 00:15:34,900
But I am
a world-famous painter.
267
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:38,200
People pay fantastic prices
for one of my paintings.
268
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:39,860
Oh, forget it, Shirley.
269
00:15:40,060 --> 00:15:41,890
You're dealing with a man
who is suffering
270
00:15:42,090 --> 00:15:43,200
from delusions of grandeur.
271
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,200
I refuse it, to paint over
my masterpiece.
272
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,150
Hey,
there's a crowd outside.
273
00:15:48,350 --> 00:15:49,210
A crowd?
274
00:15:49,410 --> 00:15:51,850
[???]
275
00:15:52,050 --> 00:15:54,190
Everybody loves
a sexy garage.
276
00:15:54,390 --> 00:15:56,880
The garage door is down.
277
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,810
Hey, you kids,
get away from that garage door.
278
00:16:00,010 --> 00:16:02,110
I'll go open the door.
No, you don't.
279
00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:04,110
Just trying to lend
a helping hand.
280
00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:08,050
I knew it. Everybody comes
for to see the Pushkin original.
281
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:11,820
I didn't realize
everybody know about my work.
282
00:16:12,020 --> 00:16:13,860
REUBEN:
be great publicity.
283
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:16,840
The first family on the block
to have an X-rated garage.
284
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,220
Don't worry, Reuben,
it isn't going to stay there.
285
00:16:19,420 --> 00:16:21,870
[DOORBELL RINGING]
286
00:16:22,070 --> 00:16:24,120
Don't answer it.
It's probably a raid.
287
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:29,030
Hello, Mrs. Partridge.
Hello, Mr. Phelps.
288
00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:31,220
How could you put that
289
00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:33,190
disgusting thing out there
with--?
290
00:16:33,390 --> 00:16:35,840
Now, Mr. Phelps,
let me handle this.
291
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,870
Shirley, I don't know
as if you realize it,
292
00:16:39,070 --> 00:16:41,100
but there's a 24-foot lady
on your garage
293
00:16:41,300 --> 00:16:43,120
with 3 and a half feet
of clothing.
294
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,220
Yes, Mrs. Monahan. I know.
295
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:46,870
Oh, well, we--
296
00:16:47,070 --> 00:16:50,060
These gracious people and I,
we were wondering--
297
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,880
Look, enough of
this sweet talk.
298
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,840
Mrs. Partridge,
you have 20 minutes
299
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:56,180
to do something about that or--
300
00:16:56,380 --> 00:16:58,840
What Mr. Phelps means
is that we were wondering
301
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,190
how long it would be before
something might be done.
302
00:17:01,390 --> 00:17:05,890
Mrs. Monahan, Mr. Phelps,
I am trying to do exactly--
303
00:17:06,090 --> 00:17:08,840
Nineteen minutes left,
Mrs. Partridge.
304
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:12,100
You need help, kind lady?
This is the, uh, artist?
305
00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:14,080
And I use
the term loosely.
306
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,960
Da, and that is
my masterpiece.
307
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,910
Did you hear that?
A Russki.
308
00:17:19,110 --> 00:17:22,880
I should have known. He's after
the minds of our children.
309
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,880
Nicholas didn't mean
any harm.
310
00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:26,860
And you call yourself
a mother?
311
00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:28,130
Now, just a moment.
312
00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:30,100
May the locust of misfortune
313
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:33,070
fly into one of your ears
and out the other.
314
00:17:33,270 --> 00:17:37,000
Did you hear that?
That-- That Russki swore at me.
315
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,160
Well, Mrs. Partridge, I--
316
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:41,820
I don't like the kind
of company that you keep.
317
00:17:42,020 --> 00:17:44,110
And I don't like the kind
of company
318
00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:46,160
I'm keeping right now.
Goodbye.
319
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:51,200
I knew you would see it
my way, kind lady.
320
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,170
I knew you would not paint over
a great painting like that.
321
00:17:54,370 --> 00:17:55,830
I'm still gonna paint over it.
322
00:17:56,030 --> 00:17:57,890
I just didn't want them
telling me what to do.
323
00:17:58,090 --> 00:18:00,230
Keith, go to the hardware store
and get some paint.
324
00:18:00,430 --> 00:18:01,860
Mom, this is Sunday.
325
00:18:02,060 --> 00:18:03,020
Oh, that's right.
326
00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:06,130
All right, kids, we're gonna
have to work in shifts
327
00:18:06,330 --> 00:18:07,920
until tomorrow.
Doing what?
328
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:11,160
Keeping an eye on that garage
to make sure the door stays up.
329
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:13,130
Great. I'll go take
the first shift.
330
00:18:13,330 --> 00:18:16,060
Forget it. You're the one
we'll be watching.
331
00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:18,060
Well, it was worth a try.
332
00:18:18,260 --> 00:18:19,990
[???]
333
00:18:20,190 --> 00:18:22,860
Well, I told you
we had to watch him.
334
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:26,070
He was about to charge a kid
50 cents to pull down the door.
335
00:18:26,270 --> 00:18:29,210
What can I say,
I'm a businessman at heart.
336
00:18:29,410 --> 00:18:31,870
Kids, leave that garage door up.
337
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:35,020
Go back out and keep an eye on--
On the garage door.
338
00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:37,200
You keep an eye on him.
Okay, come on.
339
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:41,070
The world doesn't appreciate
great art anymore.
340
00:18:41,270 --> 00:18:43,980
I am going to drown it,
my sorrows.
341
00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:47,030
Could I have the glass milk?
In the kitchen.
342
00:18:47,230 --> 00:18:49,940
[???]
343
00:18:50,140 --> 00:18:51,860
We can paint
over the garage.
344
00:18:52,060 --> 00:18:54,210
I found my crayons.
And I found a man.
345
00:18:54,410 --> 00:18:58,060
Kids, we can't cover the garage
with crayons. Who are you?
346
00:18:58,260 --> 00:18:59,800
My name is Sioux.
347
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,180
A boy named Sue?
348
00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:03,020
S-I-O-U-X.
349
00:19:03,220 --> 00:19:04,940
It's a nickname. You see,
350
00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:07,880
I'm a quarter Sioux Indian
so they call me Sioux.
351
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,810
What do you want?
I'm a reporter for the Free Life
352
00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:12,200
and I was wondering
if maybe--
353
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,860
Shirley, the Free Life is one
of those terrible,
354
00:19:15,060 --> 00:19:16,140
underground newspapers.
355
00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:17,850
SIOUX:
Hey, don't call names.
356
00:19:18,050 --> 00:19:20,190
That ain't Humpty Dumpty
on your garage, you know.
357
00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:22,220
It's not my garage.
It's hers.
358
00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:24,030
Look, Mr. Sioux,
I think it might--
359
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:28,050
You should not be talking
to anybody from that newspaper,
360
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,150
especially a guy
named Sioux.
361
00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:32,980
Reuben, I'll handle this.
SIOUX: Thank you.
362
00:19:33,180 --> 00:19:35,850
I guess you know your neighbors
are pretty upset.
363
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:37,210
Oh, it's hard to miss.
364
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,940
Did you know that some
are thinking
365
00:19:39,140 --> 00:19:41,180
about having you
and the artist arrested?
366
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:42,930
SHIRLEY:
Arrested?
367
00:19:43,130 --> 00:19:46,130
Look, I'll admit our garage
is a little out of the ordinary,
368
00:19:46,330 --> 00:19:48,100
but the painting
is not in bad taste.
369
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:49,830
Who cares about taste?
370
00:19:50,030 --> 00:19:53,000
Do you realize what this kind
of publicity could do to us?
371
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,150
We'll be lucky to get a gig
at the Pussycat Lounge.
372
00:19:55,350 --> 00:19:56,830
LAURIE:
Mom?
373
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:59,110
Mom, what's wrong
with Nicholas?
374
00:19:59,310 --> 00:20:00,030
What do you mean?
375
00:20:00,230 --> 00:20:02,210
I saw him run to his truck
and take off.
376
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:04,010
So he ran out on us.
Figures.
377
00:20:04,210 --> 00:20:06,150
Hey, you must be
Danny and Laurie.
378
00:20:06,350 --> 00:20:08,180
My name's Sioux.
Oh, glad to--
379
00:20:08,380 --> 00:20:10,100
[???]
380
00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:18,060
Mom, there's even more
people out there than before.
381
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:19,030
You left the garage
unguarded?
382
00:20:19,230 --> 00:20:22,190
Yeah, but I thought you ought
to know what's going on.
383
00:20:22,390 --> 00:20:24,860
Hey, you kids,
leave that door alone.
384
00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:26,920
Uh-oh. Mr. Phelps
and some other people
385
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,160
are starting
to gather across the street.
386
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,090
And they don't look
too friendly.
387
00:20:31,290 --> 00:20:33,080
They're starting
to come this way.
388
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,800
And they're armed.
Armed?
389
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,200
Yes. They each
have a bucket of paint.
390
00:20:40,090 --> 00:20:43,060
Why couldn't I take
a nice safe job?
391
00:20:43,260 --> 00:20:45,200
Like milking cobras.
392
00:20:49,220 --> 00:20:51,820
All right, Mr. Phelps.
That's far enough.
393
00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:53,810
All right, Mrs. Partridge.
This is it.
394
00:20:54,010 --> 00:20:56,030
We're taking matters
into our own hands.
395
00:20:56,230 --> 00:20:58,080
It's our duty
to protect the community.
396
00:20:58,280 --> 00:20:59,820
You're not gonna paint
my garage.
397
00:21:00,020 --> 00:21:02,110
You have five different colors
of paint there.
398
00:21:02,310 --> 00:21:04,830
Look who's suddenly
worried about taste.
399
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:08,190
Well, now, couldn't we settle
this over a nice cup of tea?
400
00:21:08,390 --> 00:21:11,160
Must we always lash out
with multicolored paint?
401
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:14,090
We're gonna get rid of that--
That painted lady.
402
00:21:14,290 --> 00:21:15,890
Please, please.
403
00:21:16,090 --> 00:21:18,230
Leave it alone. I like it.
404
00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:23,850
Step aside, Mrs. Partridge.
We're coming through.
405
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,910
Leave our mommy alone.
DANNY: Yeah.
406
00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:29,150
We're not lowering the door
for less than 50 cents.
407
00:21:29,350 --> 00:21:32,010
[SIREN WAILING]
408
00:21:32,210 --> 00:21:35,050
Well, at last we'll get
a little action.
409
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,180
[???]
410
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:52,000
DANNY: Mr. Pushkin.
You saved it, my masterpiece.
411
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,920
You are a wonderful lady.
412
00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:57,880
We thought you ran out on us.
Me, run out?
413
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,200
Do I look like
a beaded-eyed fink?
414
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,220
Present company
exceptionalized.
415
00:22:02,420 --> 00:22:04,880
I went to get Mr. Hensley,
416
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:09,020
the "curatatator" from
the Rothschild Museum from Art.
417
00:22:09,220 --> 00:22:10,130
You're kidding.
418
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,840
SHIRLEY: Is that true?
Yes.
419
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,880
And after inspecting
this painting
420
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:22,110
I'm convinced that you really
are Nicholas Minsky Pushkin.
421
00:22:22,310 --> 00:22:23,900
From Pinsk.
422
00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:26,210
You mean this man
really is a famous artist?
423
00:22:26,410 --> 00:22:30,030
Well, at least extremely
well-known in artistic circles.
424
00:22:30,230 --> 00:22:33,800
I'll have to die before
everyone knows I'm a genius.
425
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:37,110
You mean this painting is--?
It's a real painting?
426
00:22:37,310 --> 00:22:41,180
It's a masterpiece.
And worth a lot of money.
427
00:22:41,380 --> 00:22:42,920
Mr. Pushkin,
428
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,210
how would you like
to do a mural on my wagon?
429
00:22:45,410 --> 00:22:48,030
Look, we don't want
this kind of a masterpiece
430
00:22:48,230 --> 00:22:49,950
in our kind of neighborhood.
431
00:22:50,150 --> 00:22:52,880
Well, of course it's up to you,
Mrs. Partridge,
432
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,210
but you simply
cannot paint over this lady.
433
00:22:55,410 --> 00:22:58,050
It really is a masterpiece.
434
00:22:58,250 --> 00:22:59,840
[???]
435
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,090
I know.
436
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:08,050
But I can't leave this lady
on my garage.
437
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,820
There you are,
Mrs. Partridge.
438
00:23:13,020 --> 00:23:15,020
Thank you very much,
Mr. Hensley.
439
00:23:15,220 --> 00:23:17,070
Wow, look at
all those zeros.
440
00:23:17,270 --> 00:23:19,860
I think I'm gonna
break out in a rash.
441
00:23:20,060 --> 00:23:22,080
There's still one thing
I can't get over.
442
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:23,990
What's that?
443
00:23:24,190 --> 00:23:29,160
I never thought I'd see
my garage hanging in a museum.
444
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:32,100
[???]
445
00:23:38,010 --> 00:23:40,020
[???]
446
00:23:40,220 --> 00:23:43,180
Nicholas,
I'm gonna keep just enough money
447
00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:44,890
to have
the garage fixed.
448
00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:46,840
But the rest of it
belongs to you.
449
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:50,140
Oh, I could not take it, fair
lady. You are so nice to me.
450
00:23:50,340 --> 00:23:51,030
Nobody's that nice.
451
00:23:51,230 --> 00:23:53,820
Beady-eyed,
you got a point there.
452
00:23:54,020 --> 00:23:55,160
What are you gonna do
with it?
453
00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:58,860
Well, my first responsibility
is as an artist.
454
00:23:59,060 --> 00:24:01,190
And an artist must suffer.
455
00:24:01,390 --> 00:24:04,840
How can you suffer
with all that money?
456
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,140
I have a great plan that will
cause me excruciating pain.
457
00:24:08,340 --> 00:24:11,940
I will take this money
and go to Las Vegas.
458
00:24:12,140 --> 00:24:15,070
Mom, how come I can look
at the garage here
459
00:24:15,270 --> 00:24:17,120
and I couldn't at home?
460
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,030
Well,
461
00:24:20,230 --> 00:24:22,860
because now
it's a work of art.
462
00:24:23,060 --> 00:24:25,080
Why wasn't it a work
of art at home?
463
00:24:28,090 --> 00:24:32,830
Well, then, we didn't know
it was a work of art.
464
00:24:33,030 --> 00:24:35,160
And sometimes we don't know
if something's good
465
00:24:35,360 --> 00:24:38,030
until someone tells us.
466
00:24:38,230 --> 00:24:42,810
I-- I liked her
even before she was art.
467
00:24:43,010 --> 00:24:45,140
You got it, good taste.
Yeah.
468
00:24:45,340 --> 00:24:47,230
[???]
469
00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:56,000
[???]
32377
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