Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,220
[THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY'S
"COME ON GET HAPPY" PLAYING]
2
00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:12,190
? Hello, world, hear the song
That we're singing ?
3
00:00:12,390 --> 00:00:14,230
? Come on, get happy ?
4
00:00:17,030 --> 00:00:21,050
? A whole lot of lovin'
Is what we'll be bringing ?
5
00:00:21,250 --> 00:00:23,150
? We'll make you happy ?
6
00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:27,960
? We had a dream
We'd go traveling together ?
7
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:29,920
? We'd spread a little love ?
8
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,930
? And then we'll keep
Movin' on ?
9
00:00:32,130 --> 00:00:35,170
? Something always happens
Whenever we're together ?
10
00:00:35,370 --> 00:00:39,050
? We get a happy feeling
When we're singing a song ?
11
00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:43,000
? Traveling along there's
A song that we're singing ?
12
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,140
? Come on, get happy ?
13
00:00:47,170 --> 00:00:51,140
? A whole lot of lovin'
Is what we'll be bringing ?
14
00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:54,100
? We'll make you happy ?
15
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:58,130
? We'll make you happy ?
16
00:00:58,330 --> 00:01:02,020
? We'll make you happy ?
17
00:01:04,110 --> 00:01:05,170
[??]
18
00:01:10,020 --> 00:01:11,810
And I say those films
can't even compare
19
00:01:12,010 --> 00:01:13,220
with Fellini and Bergman.
20
00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:16,190
I'm not comparing them
to Fellini and Bergman, you are.
21
00:01:16,390 --> 00:01:18,210
Look, I'll admit
they weren't polished,
22
00:01:18,410 --> 00:01:20,820
but those films
were bordering on genius.
23
00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:22,930
Those films were
bordering on boredom.
24
00:01:23,130 --> 00:01:25,000
LAURIE:
I never said they were perfect.
25
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,170
They're underground films.
26
00:01:26,370 --> 00:01:28,130
And that's where
they should've left them too.
27
00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:31,020
I'm afraid to ask,
but how was the film?
28
00:01:31,220 --> 00:01:31,910
Great.
Terrible.
29
00:01:32,110 --> 00:01:33,800
I didn't realize
you were taking them
30
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,180
to a controversial film.
31
00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:37,810
We went to see
some experimental films
32
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:39,190
by some young
filmmakers.
33
00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:42,110
And I thought the films
were extremely artistic
34
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:43,230
and enlightening.
35
00:01:43,430 --> 00:01:45,820
Okay. Well, then maybe you
can explain to me
36
00:01:46,020 --> 00:01:47,120
why the flowers exploded.
37
00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:51,180
Why the flowers exploded?
38
00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:52,850
That's obvious,
Danny.
39
00:01:53,050 --> 00:01:54,170
Well, of course,
it's obvious.
40
00:01:54,370 --> 00:01:56,840
DANNY:
Fine. Then maybe you can explain
41
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,180
why they covered that asparagus
patch with whipped cream.
42
00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:01,180
I hate to interrupt, Reuben,
but it's time for Danny
43
00:02:01,380 --> 00:02:02,030
to go to bed.
44
00:02:02,230 --> 00:02:03,850
Oh, what a shame.
45
00:02:04,050 --> 00:02:05,230
Well, pleasant dreams.
46
00:02:05,430 --> 00:02:07,070
You've gotta
be kidding.
47
00:02:07,270 --> 00:02:08,210
Come on, boy.
48
00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:09,890
[??]
49
00:02:10,090 --> 00:02:12,120
Good night, sweetheart.
KEITH: Good night, Danny.
50
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:13,150
Good night.
51
00:02:15,060 --> 00:02:17,000
Asparagus
and whipped cream?
52
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,900
Laurie thinks
that's art.
53
00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:21,210
You think "Flash Gordon"
serials are art.
54
00:02:21,410 --> 00:02:23,830
Well, at least
"Flash Gordon" is funny.
55
00:02:24,030 --> 00:02:27,060
It certainly makes more sense
than all that phony symbolism.
56
00:02:27,260 --> 00:02:29,170
I suppose you
could do better?
57
00:02:29,370 --> 00:02:30,870
I'd love to make a movie
58
00:02:31,070 --> 00:02:34,070
putting on all those hokey
experimental films.
59
00:02:34,270 --> 00:02:38,050
Not only would mine be funnier,
it would be better too.
60
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:40,010
Spoken like
a true egomaniac.
61
00:02:41,170 --> 00:02:44,820
Mom, do we still have
that old 8 mm camera?
62
00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:47,030
Top shelf, hall closet.
63
00:02:47,230 --> 00:02:48,130
Mm-hm.
64
00:02:48,330 --> 00:02:49,840
Mm-hm.
65
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:51,220
I forgot all about
that old camera, Shirley.
66
00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:53,120
How come you don't
use it anymore?
67
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,060
Well, I used to show
so many home movies
68
00:02:56,260 --> 00:03:00,080
that one by one, my friends
started to drift away.
69
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,140
Mom, it's beautiful.
70
00:03:04,110 --> 00:03:06,100
Would you like us
to leave you two alone?
71
00:03:07,210 --> 00:03:09,180
You know, I really could
make my own movie.
72
00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:15,040
Let's see, film and developing,
say, 15 bucks.
73
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:16,950
Mom?
Sorry.
74
00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:18,230
[SIGHS]
75
00:03:20,050 --> 00:03:21,170
[CLEARS THROAT]
76
00:03:21,370 --> 00:03:24,180
Oh, no. No way.
77
00:03:24,380 --> 00:03:25,950
[??]
78
00:03:26,150 --> 00:03:29,170
I only launch new careers.
I don't finance them.
79
00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:33,000
Where am I gonna get
that kind of money?
80
00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:36,120
DANNY:
Psst. Psst.
81
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:39,020
[??]
82
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,080
[??]
83
00:04:07,190 --> 00:04:09,040
[??]
84
00:04:13,060 --> 00:04:15,140
Come on, Danny. If you're
willing to lend me the money,
85
00:04:15,340 --> 00:04:17,100
there's gotta be
a string attached.
86
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:19,040
Can't I--?
87
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,140
Can't I just want
the satisfaction
88
00:04:23,340 --> 00:04:25,060
of helping
a brother in need?
89
00:04:25,260 --> 00:04:26,910
Uh-huh.
Try again.
90
00:04:27,110 --> 00:04:29,160
Okay, maybe I'm investing
in your future.
91
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,170
Oh, sure you are.
92
00:04:31,370 --> 00:04:33,100
Okay...
93
00:04:34,170 --> 00:04:36,110
I want a piece
of the action.
94
00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:38,130
Piece of what action?
95
00:04:38,330 --> 00:04:42,020
Lights, camera,
action.
96
00:04:42,220 --> 00:04:43,100
[??]
97
00:04:47,060 --> 00:04:48,890
This is ridiculous.
98
00:04:49,090 --> 00:04:50,220
Humans are ridiculous.
99
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,220
That's gonna be
the message of my film.
100
00:04:52,420 --> 00:04:54,810
Come on,
give it a try.
101
00:04:55,010 --> 00:04:57,010
All right, what do you
want me to do?
102
00:04:57,210 --> 00:04:59,000
Now, you're Cleopatra
103
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,170
and I want you to exit
your tent to this door.
104
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:05,230
Now, Cleopatra was
very sexy, so be sexy, okay?
105
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,900
I feel silly.
106
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,880
Don't worry about it.
Just act natural.
107
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,230
DANNY:
You better make up your mind.
108
00:05:11,430 --> 00:05:14,120
Do you want her to act
natural or act sexy?
109
00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,160
I know what
he wants.
110
00:05:18,140 --> 00:05:19,000
Okay.
111
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,160
[CAMERA WHIRRING]
112
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:25,200
Cleopatra being sexy.
Take one.
113
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,080
And action.
114
00:05:29,210 --> 00:05:31,140
[??]
115
00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:33,970
Cut it.
116
00:05:34,170 --> 00:05:37,060
Cleopatra being dull.
Take one.
117
00:05:39,170 --> 00:05:41,010
[??]
118
00:05:42,190 --> 00:05:46,020
? Everybody's going places ?
119
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:48,900
? Doing things ?
120
00:05:49,100 --> 00:05:51,220
? Look at all
The smiling faces ?
121
00:05:51,420 --> 00:05:54,000
? Sing ?
122
00:05:55,060 --> 00:05:56,140
? We're having a ball ?
123
00:05:56,340 --> 00:05:57,200
? Doing a number ?
124
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,090
? Having a ball ?
125
00:05:59,290 --> 00:06:01,090
? Getting it on ?
126
00:06:01,290 --> 00:06:06,000
? Together, together
Together ?
127
00:06:07,020 --> 00:06:07,960
? Having a ball ?
128
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,030
? Yeah, we're having
A ball ?
129
00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:11,170
? Having a ball ?
130
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:13,920
? Yeah, we're having
A ball ?
131
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:18,910
? Town to town we've found
The sound that's happening ?
132
00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:21,220
? And what we've found ?
133
00:06:21,420 --> 00:06:25,010
? Is what we play
And sing ?
134
00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:25,870
? Yeah ?
135
00:06:26,070 --> 00:06:27,140
? We're having a ball ?
136
00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:28,830
? Just doing a number ?
137
00:06:29,030 --> 00:06:30,160
? Having a ball ?
138
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:32,180
? Just getting it on ?
139
00:06:32,380 --> 00:06:38,000
? Together, together
Together ?
140
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,830
? Having a ball ?
141
00:06:40,030 --> 00:06:40,970
? Together ?
142
00:06:41,170 --> 00:06:43,000
? Yeah, we're having
A ball ?
143
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:43,930
? Together ?
144
00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:46,030
? Yeah, we're having
A ball ?
145
00:06:46,230 --> 00:06:46,960
? Together ?
146
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,030
? Yeah, we're having
A ball ?
147
00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:49,960
? Together ?
148
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,120
? Yeah, we're having
A ball ?
149
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,810
? Together ?
150
00:06:54,010 --> 00:06:55,150
? Yeah, we're having
A ball ?
151
00:06:55,350 --> 00:06:56,820
? Together ?
152
00:06:57,020 --> 00:06:58,170
? Yeah, having a ball ?
153
00:06:58,370 --> 00:07:00,170
[LAUGHING]
154
00:07:05,230 --> 00:07:07,080
Waiting for someone?
155
00:07:08,150 --> 00:07:09,950
Uh, yeah.
156
00:07:10,150 --> 00:07:12,190
Mr. Kincaid. He's gonna be
in our film.
157
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,970
Oh, really?
158
00:07:14,170 --> 00:07:17,190
Well, he doesn't actually know
he's gonna be in our film.
159
00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:18,930
All right,
let's have it.
160
00:07:19,130 --> 00:07:21,070
Uh, it was all
Danny's idea.
161
00:07:21,270 --> 00:07:21,960
It's ingenious.
162
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,180
In fact, it borders
on being diabolical.
163
00:07:24,380 --> 00:07:27,180
Yeah. You see, my film needed
a little production value.
164
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:30,000
And we couldn't afford
any costumes, so...
165
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,130
We invited Mr. Kincaid
to a costume party.
166
00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:34,220
You didn't.
167
00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:37,210
[DOORBELL RINGS]
168
00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:43,230
[??]
169
00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:46,930
[DOOR CLOSES]
170
00:07:47,130 --> 00:07:48,810
RUEBEN:
Talk about your law and order.
171
00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:50,140
A guy isn't safe
on the streets anymore.
172
00:07:51,190 --> 00:07:52,930
What happened?
173
00:07:53,130 --> 00:07:55,840
Oh, a couple of wiseacres
followed me here in the car.
174
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:59,130
And then they got mad because
I wouldn't grant their wish.
175
00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:01,210
What wish was that?
176
00:08:01,410 --> 00:08:03,830
I don't wanna
talk about it.
177
00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:06,100
But if I hadn't managed
to poke one of them in the eye
178
00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:07,800
with my magic wand,
179
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,210
well, I might not
be here right now.
180
00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:13,040
Oh, and I even got
my hem all dirty.
181
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:19,090
Hey, why don't you have
your costume on?
182
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,870
Reuben, I have
a confession to make.
183
00:08:25,070 --> 00:08:27,120
I have a couple
of rotten kids.
184
00:08:29,230 --> 00:08:31,960
This isn't a put-on.
185
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:35,000
No. No, they wouldn't.
186
00:08:36,210 --> 00:08:38,890
Dolley Madison.
Take one.
187
00:08:39,090 --> 00:08:40,160
They would.
188
00:08:42,090 --> 00:08:43,140
Reuben,
you're on camera.
189
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:46,220
[??]
190
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,930
REUBEN:
Some world premiere this is.
191
00:09:09,130 --> 00:09:10,880
You don't have
one searchlight out front.
192
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:12,220
Kids, here are your seats.
193
00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:13,970
Well, it's only
a home movie.
194
00:09:14,170 --> 00:09:17,020
But maybe I should go outside
and wave a flashlight.
195
00:09:17,220 --> 00:09:19,170
It's gonna be good.
You'll really like it.
196
00:09:19,370 --> 00:09:20,890
I certainly hope so,
197
00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:23,090
the way you've been hounding us
the last two weeks.
198
00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:25,210
Popcorn. Get your
home-popped popcorn here.
199
00:09:25,410 --> 00:09:28,000
Mr. Kincaid?
200
00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:30,850
Thought popcorn
was supposed to be white.
201
00:09:31,050 --> 00:09:32,870
So? So, what
if it's a little burned?
202
00:09:33,070 --> 00:09:35,220
This isn't a first-class
theater, you know.
203
00:09:35,420 --> 00:09:38,170
You could do charcoal
etchings with this stuff.
204
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,120
When are we gonna see
the movie?
205
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,800
Yeah. I'm getting bored.
206
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,220
Wait until
you see the movie.
207
00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:48,890
Okay. Ready.
208
00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:50,930
Now, remember,
this is just a rough cut.
209
00:09:51,130 --> 00:09:52,930
I've been editing it
on that little viewer,
210
00:09:53,130 --> 00:09:55,100
so this is the first time
I'm gonna see it myself.
211
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:56,160
What does that mean?
212
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:58,030
That means that
your big brother
213
00:09:58,230 --> 00:09:59,140
is copping out.
214
00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:06,090
[PROJECTOR WHIRRING]
215
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,830
What's that?
216
00:10:12,030 --> 00:10:12,920
I put them in.
217
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,030
You can't have a film
without credits.
218
00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:23,130
I thought this film was titled
The History of the World.
219
00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:25,010
DANNY:
the title.
220
00:10:25,210 --> 00:10:28,110
We ran out of film in the middle
of the 16th century.
221
00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:35,230
"Produced by
Danny Partridge"?
222
00:10:35,430 --> 00:10:37,030
I deserve a credit.
223
00:10:44,020 --> 00:10:47,130
"Inspired and financed
by Danny Partridge."
224
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:52,830
ALL:
the personal supervision
225
00:10:53,030 --> 00:10:54,090
of Danny Partridge."
226
00:11:00,030 --> 00:11:01,160
Where's my credit?
227
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,110
I ran out of paper towels.
228
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,910
REUBEN: Oh, that's exciting.
[SHIRLEY LAUGHS]
229
00:11:08,110 --> 00:11:09,180
SHIRLEY:
Very good, Chris.
230
00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:10,800
You're a real artist.
231
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,180
LAURIE:
That's really cute.
232
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:15,200
Oh.
[LAUGHS]
233
00:11:17,150 --> 00:11:19,120
LAURIE:
That is delightful, Tracy.
234
00:11:21,230 --> 00:11:23,020
Hey, Keith,
this is great stuff.
235
00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:25,220
You could sell it
to the Keyhole Theater.
236
00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:29,890
What's that?
237
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,150
The stuff we couldn't sell
to the theater.
238
00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:34,050
Oh, funny.
239
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:35,030
SHIRLEY:
Oh.
240
00:11:35,230 --> 00:11:37,150
[DANNY WOLF WHISTLING]
241
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,030
Very sexy, Laurie.
242
00:11:43,230 --> 00:11:45,030
Well, I tried.
243
00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:47,850
[LAURIE LAUGHING]
244
00:11:48,050 --> 00:11:50,800
LAURIE:
Oh. That's great, Mom.
245
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,850
REUBEN:
your life singing.
246
00:11:53,050 --> 00:11:56,090
LAURIE: What a ham.
I'm a real Sophia Loren.
247
00:11:56,290 --> 00:11:57,120
Who?
Who?
248
00:11:58,150 --> 00:12:00,150
[ALL LAUGHING]
249
00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:06,910
I just realized,
for the first time,
250
00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:08,200
how much I look like
my mother.
251
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,020
I feel sorry
for your father.
252
00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:12,910
[LAUGHS]
253
00:12:13,110 --> 00:12:15,130
SHIRLEY:
You're beautiful, Reuben.
254
00:12:16,220 --> 00:12:20,000
There goes
our GP rating.
255
00:12:22,020 --> 00:12:25,180
Psst, Keith?
Keith, come here.
256
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,130
What is it? We're just getting
to the best part.
257
00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:33,820
I know. Do you hear
that laughter?
258
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:35,200
Yeah. I think
they like it.
259
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,900
Even more than I thought
they would.
260
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,210
Exactly. You never know
what the public will like.
261
00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:43,170
I always thought I'd be worried
about getting my 15 bucks back.
262
00:12:43,370 --> 00:12:46,080
Keith, we're sitting
on a gold mine.
263
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,010
[??]
264
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,030
[??]
265
00:12:58,130 --> 00:12:59,830
Okay.
266
00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,230
At 25 cents admission,
267
00:13:01,430 --> 00:13:03,110
all we have to sell
is 60 tickets
268
00:13:03,310 --> 00:13:05,150
and we've covered
the cost of the film.
269
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:07,080
Anything after that
is pure profit.
270
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:07,930
[SIGHS]
271
00:13:08,130 --> 00:13:09,230
To tell you the truth,
Danny,
272
00:13:09,430 --> 00:13:11,140
I was a little disappointed
with the film.
273
00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:13,070
Name one thing
wrong with it.
274
00:13:14,110 --> 00:13:16,110
Soft focus, overexposure,
275
00:13:16,310 --> 00:13:19,810
sun glare, strobing effect,
harsh lighting.
276
00:13:20,010 --> 00:13:21,170
Well, if you're gonna
be picky...
277
00:13:21,370 --> 00:13:23,810
Besides, it was
supposed to be funny.
278
00:13:24,010 --> 00:13:25,180
And everyone agrees
it was funny.
279
00:13:26,220 --> 00:13:27,870
Yeah.
280
00:13:28,070 --> 00:13:30,170
When Reuben walked in
in that dress...
281
00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:32,130
See? You think
it was funny.
282
00:13:34,060 --> 00:13:36,140
Yeah, it was funny,
I guess.
283
00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:37,850
[SIGHS]
284
00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:41,010
Okay, let's give it a shot.
Where shall we show it?
285
00:13:41,210 --> 00:13:43,210
Grauman's Chinese
is booked.
286
00:13:45,180 --> 00:13:47,140
How about our garage?
287
00:13:47,340 --> 00:13:48,840
[??]
288
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,000
Okay, Mr. Promoter,
where are all the people?
289
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,210
Give them a chance.
290
00:13:53,410 --> 00:13:56,990
I think an hour and a half
is a terrific chance.
291
00:13:57,190 --> 00:13:59,230
We should have had
a sneak preview first.
292
00:13:59,430 --> 00:14:02,160
Then word of mouth
would stir people's interest.
293
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,080
When enough people
are interested,
294
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:05,890
wham, we sock it
to them.
295
00:14:06,090 --> 00:14:07,210
I'm not interested
in the money.
296
00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:09,170
I'm just interested
in aesthetics.
297
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,020
I wanna be judged
by my peers.
298
00:14:11,220 --> 00:14:13,040
But your peers
didn't show up.
299
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,090
Yeah, well, I've waited
long enough.
300
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:18,060
I got a date.
Where you going?
301
00:14:18,260 --> 00:14:18,960
[SIGHS]
302
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,110
If I'm unlucky,
the taco stand.
303
00:14:22,220 --> 00:14:25,140
If I'm lucky,
Muldoon's Point.
304
00:14:25,340 --> 00:14:26,210
[??]
305
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:33,180
That would be
some sneak preview.
306
00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:35,100
[??]
307
00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:51,920
You know, kid,
308
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,840
it ain't any of my business,
because the meter's running.
309
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:56,150
But I don't think any
of these people
310
00:14:56,350 --> 00:14:58,030
are here to see a movie.
311
00:14:58,230 --> 00:14:59,840
It's perfect.
312
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,140
They'll have something
to look at
313
00:15:01,340 --> 00:15:02,230
when they come up
for air.
314
00:15:02,430 --> 00:15:04,800
They ain't gonna see nothing.
315
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,140
The windows
are all steamed up.
316
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:08,100
I'm counting on the film
being good enough
317
00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:09,190
to grab
their interest.
318
00:15:09,390 --> 00:15:10,870
Is it dirty?
319
00:15:11,070 --> 00:15:11,960
Of course not.
320
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,180
Then it ain't gonna
grab their interest.
321
00:15:16,140 --> 00:15:18,080
Come on,
give me a hand.
322
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,060
[??]
323
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:29,800
Look at these people.
324
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,050
The guys are only interested
in the girls as sex objects.
325
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:35,210
I don't think it's right.
326
00:15:35,410 --> 00:15:36,940
Uh...
327
00:15:37,140 --> 00:15:39,230
Yeah, I know
what you mean.
328
00:15:39,430 --> 00:15:40,880
[SIGHS]
329
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:44,170
Well, wanna go get a taco
or something?
330
00:15:44,370 --> 00:15:49,000
Imagine, me out
with Keith Partridge.
331
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,010
[??]
332
00:15:58,170 --> 00:15:59,920
Oh, no.
333
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,120
Wait here.
And don't look.
334
00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:09,000
[??]
335
00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:12,150
Danny,
what are you doing?
336
00:16:12,350 --> 00:16:15,870
Having a sneak preview
for your peers.
337
00:16:16,070 --> 00:16:17,200
What is this?
338
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:19,840
GUY 1:
Somebody's idea of a joke?
339
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,180
[HORNS HONKING]
Let's get out of here.
340
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:23,820
These kids are getting
more rocks.
341
00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:25,210
[CAR HORNS BLARING]
342
00:16:28,130 --> 00:16:29,950
GUY 2:
Give me another rock.
343
00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:32,020
GUY 3:
Get me another rock.
344
00:16:34,180 --> 00:16:37,840
Why did you have to show it
at Muldoon's Point?
345
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,840
You said you wanted
to be judged by your peers.
346
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,200
I didn't know
they'd be armed.
347
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,170
I don't mind being panned,
but being pelted...
348
00:16:45,370 --> 00:16:48,920
Keith, maybe you can't blame it
entirely on the audience.
349
00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,100
Looking back, I see your movie
had one basic flaw.
350
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:53,160
What's that?
351
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:54,220
It was rotten.
352
00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:57,050
What?
I'm just being objective.
353
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,880
A bomb is a bomb.
354
00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,200
Looks like Zanuck
and Hitchcock
355
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,020
are having a big
production meeting.
356
00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:04,150
If you're talking about
your next film,
357
00:17:04,350 --> 00:17:07,860
I hope you'll consider
leaving town to shoot it.
358
00:17:08,060 --> 00:17:10,150
We're going shopping.
Do you need anything?
359
00:17:10,350 --> 00:17:12,220
Yeah. Stop at the local
torture shop
360
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:14,070
and pick up a pair
of thumbscrews.
361
00:17:14,270 --> 00:17:14,980
Danny's size.
362
00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:17,030
Why do that? If you really
wanna torture him,
363
00:17:17,230 --> 00:17:19,140
just show him
your movie again.
364
00:17:20,180 --> 00:17:21,860
Bye.
Bye.
365
00:17:22,060 --> 00:17:25,040
Boy, everybody turns
on you when you're down.
366
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,050
[PHONE RINGS]
367
00:17:29,190 --> 00:17:30,810
Hello?
368
00:17:31,010 --> 00:17:32,130
This is, uh,
Sam Greasley,
369
00:17:32,330 --> 00:17:34,070
owner of the Royal Theater.
370
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,060
Can I speak
to Keith Partridge?
371
00:17:36,260 --> 00:17:37,950
Speaking.
Oh, yeah, Keith.
372
00:17:38,150 --> 00:17:40,070
Listen, I understand
that you have a film
373
00:17:40,270 --> 00:17:42,100
with all the members
of the family in it.
374
00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:43,820
How did you know that?
375
00:17:44,020 --> 00:17:46,150
Well, my son said he saw it
up at Muldoon's Point.
376
00:17:46,350 --> 00:17:48,830
Oh, did he like it?
377
00:17:49,030 --> 00:17:50,140
He-- He didn't say.
378
00:17:50,340 --> 00:17:51,020
But I feel
379
00:17:51,220 --> 00:17:52,920
that any
Partridge Family movie
380
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:55,150
would be worthwhile
to show in my theater.
381
00:17:55,350 --> 00:17:56,850
You're kidding.
No.
382
00:17:57,050 --> 00:17:58,170
You know, just a little
something
383
00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:00,190
to fill in
after the main feature.
384
00:18:00,390 --> 00:18:03,190
What if I gave you,
say, oh, $100?
385
00:18:03,390 --> 00:18:05,820
A hundred dollars?
386
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:07,020
It's a crank call.
387
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,930
Well, yeah.
Sure, Mr. Greasley,
388
00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:11,200
I'll bring it by tonight.
Yeah, okay. Goodbye.
389
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,930
Oh, and by the way,
390
00:18:13,130 --> 00:18:15,050
you've made a new filmmaker
really happy.
391
00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:17,100
Yeah. Okay. Goodbye.
392
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,800
[SIGHS]
393
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,860
So you thought it
was a bomb, huh?
394
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:24,150
The owner of the Royal Theater
just called
395
00:18:24,350 --> 00:18:26,960
and offered me $100
for my film.
396
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:30,810
That's six-and-a-half times
the original investment.
397
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:35,000
Keith, when can you have your
next production ready to roll?
398
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,200
You know, I was beginning
to have self-doubts.
399
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,850
But $100
for my first film.
400
00:18:42,050 --> 00:18:44,230
Boy, wait till Mom
hears about this.
401
00:18:44,430 --> 00:18:45,960
[??]
402
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,100
[TIRES SCREECHING]
403
00:18:49,220 --> 00:18:50,960
[SIGHS]
404
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,080
You don't think there might be
two Partridge Families?
405
00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:55,160
I'll kill them.
406
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,100
[??]
407
00:19:03,070 --> 00:19:04,030
When you took
those pictures,
408
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:07,220
you never said anything
about showing them in public.
409
00:19:07,420 --> 00:19:08,960
Me playing Cleopatra.
410
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,810
I'll never be able to face
any of my friends again.
411
00:19:12,010 --> 00:19:13,200
You made me look
pretty dumb.
412
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,140
If my teacher sees
that bathtub scene,
413
00:19:15,340 --> 00:19:19,080
I'll be thrown out
of first grade.
414
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,140
[??]
415
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:26,030
If you think I'm going
to make my screen debut
416
00:19:26,230 --> 00:19:30,180
with gossamer wings
and a dirty hem, forget it.
417
00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:32,800
Drove by the theater, huh?
No.
418
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,110
I read it in the entertainment
section of my paper.
419
00:19:37,170 --> 00:19:39,040
Why couldn't you choose
420
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,850
a nice, normal hobby,
like sorcery?
421
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:45,030
Don't worry, Reuben,
that film will not be shown.
422
00:19:45,230 --> 00:19:46,820
But, Mom, I promised
Mr. Greasley
423
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,090
I'd have it there tonight.
424
00:19:48,290 --> 00:19:49,840
I can't go back
on my word.
425
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,140
The people
are gonna expect
426
00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:53,020
to see the Partridge Family
on film.
427
00:19:53,220 --> 00:19:53,980
Fine. But first,
428
00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:57,120
you're going to cut out
all of the embarrassing parts.
429
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,000
And we're going
to help you.
430
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,030
You're gonna censor my film?
Come on.
431
00:20:00,230 --> 00:20:02,230
That's like putting your foot
through a Rembrandt.
432
00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:03,880
LAURIE:
In this case, it's more like
433
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:05,210
putting your foot
through a beer sign.
434
00:20:05,410 --> 00:20:08,110
[??]
435
00:20:12,090 --> 00:20:12,950
[SIGHS]
436
00:20:13,150 --> 00:20:15,830
Well, I hope
you're happy.
437
00:20:16,030 --> 00:20:18,080
There lies the best work
of my life
438
00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,850
on the cutting room floor.
439
00:20:21,050 --> 00:20:23,040
Is that all?
That's it.
440
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,160
Like to know what's left
of my masterpiece?
441
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:27,830
What?
442
00:20:28,030 --> 00:20:30,020
Nothing but shots
of people waving.
443
00:20:30,220 --> 00:20:31,080
You're kidding.
444
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,810
[SIGHS]
No.
445
00:20:33,010 --> 00:20:35,200
And that's not exactly
what Mr. Greasley paid for.
446
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,030
Mom,
he's advertised.
447
00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:40,090
We're gonna have an awful lot
of explaining to do.
448
00:20:41,150 --> 00:20:43,010
I suppose
that's true.
449
00:20:43,210 --> 00:20:45,110
Then I can work
on my film.
450
00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:47,110
ALL:
No!
451
00:20:49,170 --> 00:20:51,210
Okay, what am I
gonna do?
452
00:20:51,410 --> 00:20:52,960
The only
logical thing.
453
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,180
Get the money
before he sees the film.
454
00:20:57,030 --> 00:21:00,040
Well, there is one way.
455
00:21:02,090 --> 00:21:04,010
If we all agree to it.
456
00:21:04,210 --> 00:21:06,160
[PLAYING "HELLO, HELLO"]
457
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,080
? Hello, hello ?
458
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:13,910
? Hello, hello ?
459
00:21:14,110 --> 00:21:15,800
KEITH:
? I love you so ?
460
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,200
? I love you so ?
461
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,180
KEITH:
? Yet it all began ?
462
00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:21,200
? When I ran ?
463
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:22,890
? Into you ?
464
00:21:23,090 --> 00:21:24,990
? Not so long ago ?
465
00:21:25,190 --> 00:21:29,060
? And since that day
I wanted to say ?
466
00:21:29,260 --> 00:21:31,110
? Hello, oh, oh ?
467
00:21:32,220 --> 00:21:33,840
? Hello ?
468
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:35,120
? Hello, hello ?
469
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:36,930
? Would you like to go ?
470
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:38,860
ALL:
? Would you like to go ?
471
00:21:39,060 --> 00:21:40,160
KEITH:
? To a place with me ?
472
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:41,800
? Ah ?
473
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,000
? Where we can watch ?
474
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,890
? The hours go by ?
475
00:21:47,090 --> 00:21:51,170
? 'Cause you're someone
I'd like to get to know ?
476
00:21:51,370 --> 00:21:52,940
? Oh, oh ?
477
00:21:53,140 --> 00:21:56,140
? I still don't know
Your name ?
478
00:21:56,340 --> 00:22:00,040
? And I
I couldn't care less ?
479
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:05,040
? I like what I
Already see ?
480
00:22:07,060 --> 00:22:08,210
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
481
00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:11,070
? Whatever sign you are ?
482
00:22:11,270 --> 00:22:14,120
? Or what's your address ?
483
00:22:15,230 --> 00:22:19,190
? Don't really matter
Much to me ?
484
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:22,210
? Just wanna say ?
485
00:22:22,410 --> 00:22:24,180
? Hello, hello ?
486
00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:25,990
? Hello, hello ?
487
00:22:26,190 --> 00:22:28,100
? I love you so ?
488
00:22:28,300 --> 00:22:30,060
? I love you so ?
489
00:22:30,260 --> 00:22:32,140
? Yet it all began ?
490
00:22:32,340 --> 00:22:33,900
? When I ran ?
491
00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:35,190
? Into you ?
492
00:22:35,390 --> 00:22:37,870
? Not so long ago ?
493
00:22:38,070 --> 00:22:39,870
? And since that day ?
494
00:22:40,070 --> 00:22:41,220
? I've wanted to say ?
495
00:22:41,420 --> 00:22:44,110
? Hello, oh, oh ?
496
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,090
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
? Hello, hello ?
497
00:22:48,290 --> 00:22:49,030
? Hello ?
498
00:22:49,230 --> 00:22:52,050
? Hello, hello ?
499
00:22:52,250 --> 00:22:54,110
[??]
500
00:23:04,070 --> 00:23:07,090
One for you. One for me.
One for Mr. Kincaid.
501
00:23:07,290 --> 00:23:10,210
One for you. One for me.
One for Mr. Kincaid.
502
00:23:10,410 --> 00:23:13,840
One for you.
One for me. One...
503
00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:14,960
What are you doing?
504
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,090
Divvying up the money
from Mr. Greasley?
505
00:23:17,290 --> 00:23:17,980
No.
506
00:23:18,180 --> 00:23:20,230
We invested our money
in a new business.
507
00:23:20,430 --> 00:23:22,850
Well, it certainly
looks profitable.
508
00:23:23,050 --> 00:23:24,860
Did Reuben put up
the rest of the money?
509
00:23:25,060 --> 00:23:26,190
No, but he's still
a partner.
510
00:23:26,390 --> 00:23:27,980
Yeah. Only he doesn't
511
00:23:28,180 --> 00:23:30,030
exactly know
he's a partner.
512
00:23:30,230 --> 00:23:31,800
I'm a little afraid
513
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:33,170
to ask this next
question,
514
00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:37,020
but, um, what kind of business
are you in?
515
00:23:37,220 --> 00:23:40,030
Oh, it's nothing illegal
or anything.
516
00:23:40,230 --> 00:23:41,030
We deal in a product.
517
00:23:41,230 --> 00:23:45,100
We sell them to different
psychedelic and book stores.
518
00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:48,210
They-- They give us
a dollar for each one.
519
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:52,910
LAURIE: Hi.
Hi, Reuben.
520
00:23:53,110 --> 00:23:54,870
DANNY:
Guess what, Mr. Kincaid?
521
00:23:55,070 --> 00:23:56,800
The three of us
are in business together.
522
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,160
Yeah, and you're in
for a big cut.
523
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,080
I think the lawsuit
will net me more.
524
00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:07,000
Reuben,
what's the matter?
525
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,120
This is the matter.
526
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:11,020
[??]
527
00:24:11,220 --> 00:24:12,970
[ALL LAUGH]
528
00:24:13,170 --> 00:24:14,870
I want one.
529
00:24:15,070 --> 00:24:17,160
It's cute.
Can I have it?
530
00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:19,890
Oh, no.
I am gonna sue.
531
00:24:20,090 --> 00:24:24,130
But first, my Aunt Rita
asked me to send her one.
532
00:24:24,330 --> 00:24:26,100
[??]
533
00:24:31,050 --> 00:24:32,220
[??]
33934
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof