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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,220
[THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY'S
"COME ON GET HAPPY" PLAYING]
2
00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:12,190
? Hello, world, hear the song
That we're singing ?
3
00:00:12,390 --> 00:00:16,830
? Come on, get happy ?
4
00:00:17,030 --> 00:00:21,050
? A whole lot of lovin'
Is what we'll be bringing ?
5
00:00:21,250 --> 00:00:23,200
? We'll make you happy ?
6
00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:27,960
? We had a dream
We'd go traveling together ?
7
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:29,920
? We'd spread a little love ?
8
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,910
? And then we'll keep
Movin' on ?
9
00:00:32,110 --> 00:00:35,170
? Something always happens
Whenever we're together ?
10
00:00:35,370 --> 00:00:39,050
? We get a happy feeling
When we're singing a song ?
11
00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:43,000
? Traveling along there's
A song that we're singing ?
12
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,960
? Come on, get happy ?
13
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:51,140
? A whole lot of lovin'
Is what we'll be bringing ?
14
00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:54,100
? We'll make you happy ?
15
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:58,130
? We'll make you happy ?
16
00:00:58,330 --> 00:01:02,020
? We'll make you happy ?
17
00:01:04,090 --> 00:01:05,910
[???]
18
00:01:06,110 --> 00:01:07,880
CHRIS:
to tell Mom now?
19
00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:09,910
It's just basic
parent psychology.
20
00:01:10,110 --> 00:01:12,120
She hates to argue
at the dinner table.
21
00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:15,230
I don't know. Mom's gonna
get mad when she finds out.
22
00:01:15,430 --> 00:01:17,840
Let's tell her tomorrow.
We tell her now.
23
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,100
How come you get to decide
everything?
24
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:23,840
Because I'm the president
and the major stockholder.
25
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,200
Oh, I thought it was
because you can beat us up.
26
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:29,030
Tracy and I put in
all our money too, you know.
27
00:01:29,230 --> 00:01:32,080
Yeah, but 67 cents
doesn't give you much say-so.
28
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[???]
29
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:39,180
Careful, this stuff is hot.
30
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,080
What are you kids
looking at me like that for?
31
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I knew women's lib
was protesting
32
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,150
to get out
of the kitchen,
33
00:01:48,350 --> 00:01:50,880
but I never thought
you'd be the weak link.
34
00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:54,070
Laurie's out on a date
and Mom asked me to help out.
35
00:01:54,270 --> 00:01:55,910
Oh, sure.
36
00:01:56,110 --> 00:01:59,120
If a guy comes with a glass
slipper, it's for Keith.
37
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,840
[BOTH LAUGH]
38
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:04,000
It's a good thing Ralph Nader
doesn't know about you.
39
00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,100
Otherwise he'd have your brain
recalled for being defective.
40
00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:08,800
Sit down and
have your dinner.
41
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,000
I don't want
any arguing at the table.
42
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,060
Oh, that reminds me, Mom.
There's something
43
00:02:13,260 --> 00:02:15,170
we want to talk to you about.
What is it?
44
00:02:15,370 --> 00:02:17,930
Um, well,
I've been thinking.
45
00:02:18,130 --> 00:02:21,080
We may be doing pretty good
right now, but show business
46
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,890
is a very precarious way
to make a living.
47
00:02:24,090 --> 00:02:27,100
I mean, when was the last time
the Beatles put out a record?
48
00:02:27,300 --> 00:02:29,010
Danny, the Beatles broke up.
49
00:02:29,210 --> 00:02:30,840
They don't exist anymore.
See?
50
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:33,160
Don't tell me you're not leaving
the group.
51
00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,900
Of course not.
I told you not to tell me.
52
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:40,080
What are you talking about?
Something to fall back on.
53
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,920
Just in case.
CHRIS: Yeah.
54
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,020
Danny and Tracy and me
started our own business.
55
00:02:45,220 --> 00:02:48,890
Terrific. What the world needs
is another lemonade stand.
56
00:02:49,090 --> 00:02:52,020
Just what kind of business
did you have in mind?
57
00:02:52,220 --> 00:02:53,200
Okay?
58
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:55,170
[???]
59
00:03:03,130 --> 00:03:05,120
Behold.
60
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,070
The beginnings
of an empire.
61
00:03:10,110 --> 00:03:12,060
Rats!
62
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,120
[???]
63
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,220
[???]
64
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,800
[???]
65
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,180
Get those rats
out of this house immediately.
66
00:03:31,380 --> 00:03:34,000
What's your business,
stocking tenements?
67
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,200
They're not rats.
They're golden hamburgers.
68
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,130
That's hamsters.
69
00:03:38,330 --> 00:03:40,140
Hamsters?
70
00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:42,820
[???]
71
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[CHUCKLES]
72
00:03:45,230 --> 00:03:47,900
SHIRLEY:
They are kind of cute.
73
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:50,850
It doesn't look like much
of an empire to me.
74
00:03:51,050 --> 00:03:53,810
We'll raise them and sell them.
We'll make millions.
75
00:03:54,010 --> 00:03:56,170
If that's your plan,
you'll have to get a bigger bag.
76
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:57,940
Don't worry.
We've got cages.
77
00:03:58,140 --> 00:03:59,840
We just haven't
set them up yet.
78
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,170
We didn't know whether
you'd let us keep them.
79
00:04:02,370 --> 00:04:05,120
I don't know whether I will.
CHRIS: Please?
80
00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,880
We'll do all the work.
Yeah, and I'll feed them.
81
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,900
Well, if you really did
take care of them,
82
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,080
it might be a good experience
for them.
83
00:04:18,020 --> 00:04:20,000
Are you kids sure
you can handle this?
84
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,060
Sure we are.
All right. We'll give it a try.
85
00:04:23,260 --> 00:04:25,880
Did you hear that, Dean?
You can stay.
86
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,190
Dean?
DANNY: Yeah.
87
00:04:27,390 --> 00:04:29,190
Dean Martin.
Look at his eyes.
88
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:34,100
They're pink.
Exactly. Dean Martin.
89
00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:35,990
[???]
90
00:04:36,190 --> 00:04:39,840
Danny, remember,
this is just on a trial basis.
91
00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,890
Sure, we'll take
such good care of them,
92
00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:44,210
you'll never know there's
a hamster in the house.
93
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,990
CHRIS:
Help me catch her, everybody.
94
00:04:47,190 --> 00:04:49,200
Sonya?
DANNY: Come here, Sonya.
95
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:53,850
Already I know
there's a hamster in the house.
96
00:04:54,050 --> 00:04:56,890
This exercise wheel works okay,
but it squeaks.
97
00:04:57,090 --> 00:05:00,130
I'll take care of that later.
Let's see if the cage is ready.
98
00:05:00,330 --> 00:05:02,030
Feeding tray.
Check.
99
00:05:02,230 --> 00:05:03,820
Watering cup.
Check.
100
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:05,920
Sleeping quarters.
Check.
101
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,230
The cage is all set.
Where's the bathroom?
102
00:05:08,430 --> 00:05:11,230
Are you kidding? Hamsters
don't go to the bathroom.
103
00:05:11,430 --> 00:05:13,180
Did you look in the bag?
104
00:05:15,220 --> 00:05:19,030
Hey, did you know
that theoretically
105
00:05:19,230 --> 00:05:21,840
one pair of hamsters
in one year
106
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,970
can produce 100,000 offspring
in just one year?
107
00:05:25,170 --> 00:05:26,980
Do you know what that means?
Yeah.
108
00:05:27,180 --> 00:05:29,170
We're gonna have
to get another cage.
109
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:34,090
No. That means if we sell these
hamsters for a dollar a piece...
110
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:37,920
we'd make $100,000
in our first year.
111
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,030
That's not bad
for a $3 investment.
112
00:05:40,230 --> 00:05:42,970
Wow. They're worth more
than I thought they were.
113
00:05:43,170 --> 00:05:45,850
Yeah. So I don't want anything
to happen to them.
114
00:05:46,050 --> 00:05:48,220
Where are they?
I didn't want them to get loose
115
00:05:48,420 --> 00:05:51,130
while we set up the cage,
so I put them in the bathtub.
116
00:05:51,330 --> 00:05:54,170
You sure they're still there?
[SCREAMING]
117
00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:56,150
Positive.
118
00:05:56,350 --> 00:05:57,850
[???]
119
00:05:58,050 --> 00:06:00,030
[TICKING]
120
00:06:07,030 --> 00:06:08,950
Mom, Mom, wake up.
121
00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:10,840
What's the matter?
122
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:13,190
Something's wrong with
Dean Martin. He's sick.
123
00:06:13,390 --> 00:06:14,820
[SIGHS]
124
00:06:15,020 --> 00:06:16,170
It's probably
just a hangover.
125
00:06:16,370 --> 00:06:19,140
No, the hamster.
He's in terrible pain.
126
00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:20,900
I'm afraid he's gonna die.
127
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:24,120
He must have eaten something.
What have you been feeding him?
128
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,140
The same stuff
we've been feeding him.
129
00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:29,220
Please come, Mom.
Okay.
130
00:06:37,100 --> 00:06:38,800
What's going on?
131
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,880
Something's wrong
with Dean Martin. He's sick.
132
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:42,230
It's probably just a hangover.
133
00:06:42,430 --> 00:06:44,810
The hamster.
134
00:06:45,010 --> 00:06:47,100
Nobody got this upset
when I got appendicitis.
135
00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:50,200
Well, you're not a hamster.
Hmm.
136
00:06:52,070 --> 00:06:53,870
How is he?
Getting worse.
137
00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:55,200
Do something, Mom.
138
00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,210
Look how swollen he is.
He just lays there.
139
00:06:58,410 --> 00:07:00,180
[???]
140
00:07:02,180 --> 00:07:04,030
Can you help him, Mom?
141
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,210
He's going to be
all right.
142
00:07:08,410 --> 00:07:11,180
Dean Martin is having babies.
KEITH: No kidding?
143
00:07:11,380 --> 00:07:14,020
Hey, well, I've never been
a midwife before.
144
00:07:14,220 --> 00:07:16,020
TRACY:
It'll never work.
145
00:07:16,220 --> 00:07:19,830
The stork can't get through
that little tiny door.
146
00:07:20,030 --> 00:07:21,170
Quick. Boil lots
of hot water.
147
00:07:21,370 --> 00:07:24,060
And tear up some clean sheets.
What for?
148
00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:28,120
I don't know. They never
showed that part on TV.
149
00:07:30,110 --> 00:07:31,940
We should call
Marcus Welby.
150
00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:36,040
Those baby hamsters will be born
without the help of Marcus Welby
151
00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,210
or my clean sheets.
Are you sure?
152
00:07:38,410 --> 00:07:40,980
They've been doing nicely
for millions of years.
153
00:07:41,180 --> 00:07:44,160
There are three baby hamsters
underneath Dean Martin.
154
00:07:45,230 --> 00:07:47,100
[???]
155
00:07:51,030 --> 00:07:53,020
There are two more
in the corner.
156
00:07:55,130 --> 00:07:56,890
I wonder how many in a litter?
157
00:07:57,090 --> 00:07:59,180
According to the book,
there's usually six.
158
00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:01,020
Then where's the other one?
159
00:08:01,220 --> 00:08:02,210
Well, look.
160
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:06,150
[???]
161
00:08:24,130 --> 00:08:25,890
How did Dean do that?
162
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:30,150
If I hadn't seen it,
I would never believe it.
163
00:08:30,350 --> 00:08:32,940
[???]
164
00:08:33,140 --> 00:08:35,200
Isn't it wonderful?
165
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,930
Wow. That's a miracle.
166
00:08:38,130 --> 00:08:41,230
I've tripled my investment
in less than a week.
167
00:08:44,070 --> 00:08:45,210
[???]
168
00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:09,160
We're almost through.
Just one more load--
169
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,090
Shirley, I can't
carry anymore.
170
00:09:11,290 --> 00:09:14,050
Load them up, ship them out.
You are a slave driver.
171
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:16,850
My back is killing me.
No more.
172
00:09:17,050 --> 00:09:20,810
So far, you've only carried out
your own two suitcases.
173
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:24,970
Yeah, but those bags are heavy.
Loaded with carsick pills.
174
00:09:25,170 --> 00:09:27,190
I got queasy
just putting them on the bus.
175
00:09:27,390 --> 00:09:28,220
[GRUNTS]
176
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,890
Mom, bad news.
177
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:36,830
I can't find anyone
to babysit the hamsters.
178
00:09:37,030 --> 00:09:39,220
I thought Punky Lazaar's sister
was supposed to do it?
179
00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:42,890
She was. But I don't think she's
ever seen a hamster before.
180
00:09:43,090 --> 00:09:46,110
She thought they were rats and
ran out of the house screaming.
181
00:09:46,310 --> 00:09:48,800
She recognizes a rodent
when she sees one.
182
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,230
You're just gonna have
to find someone else.
183
00:09:51,430 --> 00:09:53,940
I've been trying.
I can't get anyone.
184
00:09:54,140 --> 00:09:57,130
If we leave them here alone,
they'll die.
185
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,960
It's time for us to leave.
186
00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,930
We'll have to take them
with us. We have no choice.
187
00:10:02,130 --> 00:10:04,100
But you'll have
to take care of them.
188
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:05,990
I will. I promise.
189
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:08,180
Yay! We can bring them.
190
00:10:08,380 --> 00:10:09,900
Shirley...
191
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:12,980
Reuben, I have no choice.
192
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,200
Besides, the kids
will take care of them.
193
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,070
They've been hidden
in the cellar for two months,
194
00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:20,170
and I've never even seen them.
195
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,140
[???]
196
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:33,850
I think you better
give us a hand.
197
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,100
There are at least
forty more cages inside.
198
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:37,880
Forty?
Yep.
199
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:41,060
And I've increased
my investment over 4000 percent.
200
00:10:41,260 --> 00:10:43,160
Isn't it great?
201
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,130
[???]
202
00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:53,160
Okay, let's try it again.
One, two.
203
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:54,980
One, two, three.
204
00:10:55,180 --> 00:10:58,050
[PLAYING
"TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY"]
205
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:06,230
? Twenty-four hours away ?
206
00:11:06,430 --> 00:11:07,980
? Girl ?
207
00:11:08,180 --> 00:11:11,850
? Without you
I am spending ?
208
00:11:12,050 --> 00:11:13,800
? All that I knew was-- ?
209
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,230
Uh, cut. Hold it, hold it.
210
00:11:15,430 --> 00:11:17,190
I'm still getting
that squeal.
211
00:11:17,390 --> 00:11:19,810
Again? That's three takes
it's ruined.
212
00:11:20,010 --> 00:11:23,090
I've checked all my equipment,
so it must be out there.
213
00:11:23,290 --> 00:11:24,840
What does it sound like?
214
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:28,110
It sounds like this album's
gonna be released as a single.
215
00:11:28,310 --> 00:11:30,820
Maybe it's the amps
feeding back. I'll go check it.
216
00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:32,170
Yeah, you might be right.
217
00:11:32,370 --> 00:11:34,000
[SQUEAKING]
218
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,980
I can hear it.
219
00:11:36,180 --> 00:11:39,200
But it's not the amps.
It sounds more like--
220
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:43,150
It sounds like what I've heard
in the back of the bus.
221
00:11:46,010 --> 00:11:48,210
All right, Danny,
where is it?
222
00:11:48,410 --> 00:11:50,130
I couldn't help it, Mom.
223
00:11:50,330 --> 00:11:52,800
I think Lord Byron
is gonna have babies.
224
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,140
I couldn't leave him alone
in his hour of need.
225
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:58,030
Where is it?
226
00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:11,810
[???]
227
00:12:12,010 --> 00:12:14,030
You said you were gonna
grease the treadmill.
228
00:12:14,230 --> 00:12:17,080
With a miracle happening
every three seconds,
229
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:19,030
when have I had a chance?
230
00:12:19,230 --> 00:12:22,000
[PLAYING
"TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY"]
231
00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:31,010
? Twenty-four hours away ?
232
00:12:31,210 --> 00:12:32,210
? Girl ?
233
00:12:32,410 --> 00:12:35,880
? Without you
I am spending ?
234
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:40,100
? All that I knew
Was me loving you, girl ?
235
00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:43,880
? Twenty-four hours a day
Yeah ?
236
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:47,190
? Twenty-four hours a day ?
237
00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:00,030
? And I know I love you ?
238
00:13:00,230 --> 00:13:03,140
? And you love me too ?
239
00:13:03,340 --> 00:13:08,000
? But the temptation
For more than me ?
240
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,810
? For moving on was there ?
241
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:16,060
? You were like the sunshine ?
242
00:13:16,260 --> 00:13:19,210
? And sunshine
Comes and goes ?
243
00:13:19,410 --> 00:13:23,210
? How was I to know
That I would stay ?
244
00:13:23,410 --> 00:13:28,030
? And you'd be the one
To go? ?
245
00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:32,030
? My lover and my friend ?
246
00:13:32,230 --> 00:13:36,230
? My beginning and my end, no ?
247
00:13:36,430 --> 00:13:40,030
? I had a dream ?
248
00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:45,910
? What came in between us ?
249
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:47,920
? Doo doo doo doo doo ?
250
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,120
? Doo doo doo doo doo ?
251
00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:52,110
? Doo doo doo doo doo ?
252
00:13:52,310 --> 00:13:55,080
? Twenty-four hours a day ?
253
00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:56,800
? Girl ?
254
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,930
? That's not the way
I planned it ?
255
00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:04,100
? It would be you
And it would be me, girl ?
256
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:07,860
? Twenty-four hours a day
Yeah ?
257
00:14:08,060 --> 00:14:11,190
? Twenty-four hours a day ?
258
00:14:11,390 --> 00:14:15,910
? Twenty-four hours a day
Girl ?
259
00:14:16,110 --> 00:14:20,120
? All that I knew
Was me loving you, now ?
260
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,890
? Twenty-four hours a day
Yeah ?
261
00:14:24,090 --> 00:14:27,190
? Twenty-four hours a day
Hey, girl ?
262
00:14:27,390 --> 00:14:31,840
? Just twenty-four hours
A day ?
263
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:35,210
? Twenty-four hours
A day, now ?
264
00:14:35,410 --> 00:14:39,800
? Twenty-four hours away ?
265
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,200
? Twenty-four hours a day
Now, girl ?
266
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:47,860
? Twenty-four hours a day
Yeah ?
267
00:14:48,060 --> 00:14:50,040
[HAMSTER WHEEL SQUEAKING]
268
00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:52,890
Keith, we're on in 10 minutes.
269
00:14:53,090 --> 00:14:54,900
Do you have to take up
the whole mirror?
270
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:56,230
There'd be plenty of room,
271
00:14:56,430 --> 00:14:58,950
but your hamsters
are taking your share.
272
00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:01,120
I better wait
behind someone else.
273
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:05,020
I forgot it takes you longer
to cover up your bald spot.
274
00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:08,820
Bald spot? What bald spot?
You didn't know?
275
00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:11,030
Oh, well,
it's really nothing.
276
00:15:11,230 --> 00:15:13,860
That's what
a bald spot is, nothing.
277
00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:15,230
I don't have
a bald spot, do I?
278
00:15:15,430 --> 00:15:17,220
Didn't show up
on my school pictures.
279
00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:19,830
If they took school pictures
from the rear,
280
00:15:20,030 --> 00:15:21,110
you'd see your bald spot.
281
00:15:21,310 --> 00:15:23,810
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
282
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:25,940
CHRIS: What's that?
I don't know.
283
00:15:26,140 --> 00:15:27,210
[WOMEN SCREAMING]
284
00:15:27,410 --> 00:15:29,170
[???]
285
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:36,020
Well, is it a fire?
286
00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:40,000
No, it's not a fire.
287
00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:47,850
[HAMSTER WHEELS SQUEAKING]
288
00:15:48,050 --> 00:15:50,110
I don't care
if you have 10 reservations.
289
00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:53,050
You're not getting into
this hotel with those rats.
290
00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:55,140
I'll take full responsibility.
291
00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:58,040
Besides, they're not rats,
they're hamsters.
292
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,840
Oh, my mistake.
Hamsters, eh?
293
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:04,100
Ha, ha, ha. Well, that makes
quite a difference.
294
00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:08,160
You're not getting into
this hotel with those hamsters.
295
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:12,180
I guess we'll just have to
leave the hamsters in the bus.
296
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:14,990
Too bad.
Hamsters need to be kept warm.
297
00:16:15,190 --> 00:16:17,810
They'll never survive
out there in the cold.
298
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,190
It's either them or us.
299
00:16:19,390 --> 00:16:24,000
No rodents in the hotel.
300
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:24,860
[???]
301
00:16:25,060 --> 00:16:26,820
When we get rich
from the hamsters,
302
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,230
we'll have to buy this place
and get rid of you-know-who.
303
00:16:29,430 --> 00:16:32,020
Yeah, the creepo.
304
00:16:34,020 --> 00:16:36,030
We'll just have
to leave them in the bus.
305
00:16:36,230 --> 00:16:37,920
But, Mom--
We'll keep them warm.
306
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,200
Driving hamsters around
with the heat on
307
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,000
gets more and more
ridiculous every time.
308
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,120
I'm sorry.
But they had to be kept warm.
309
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,140
This was all I could think of.
Wonderful.
310
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:51,820
We're staying up so some
rodents won't catch cold.
311
00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:54,110
In the meantime,
I've sweated off 10 pounds
312
00:16:54,310 --> 00:16:55,940
and I don't even
get a rubdown.
313
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:59,090
It won't happen again.
Danny's gonna get rid of them.
314
00:16:59,290 --> 00:17:01,820
How come the three of us
are doing all the dirty work
315
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,200
and Danny's
gonna make the money?
316
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,870
Because he is management.
317
00:17:06,070 --> 00:17:08,860
He knew we knew we were
gonna be up all night
318
00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:11,080
and he did volunteer
to come with us.
319
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:16,060
Sure. No sacrifice is
too great for Danny Partridge.
320
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:18,030
[???]
321
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:25,020
You have too many hamsters
to take care of properly.
322
00:17:25,220 --> 00:17:27,010
It isn't fair
to them or us.
323
00:17:27,210 --> 00:17:30,170
But, Mom, the hamster market
is bound to open up soon.
324
00:17:30,370 --> 00:17:32,190
Two, three years
at the most.
325
00:17:32,390 --> 00:17:33,860
You have to
get rid of them.
326
00:17:34,060 --> 00:17:36,200
I've tried everywhere.
Nobody wants them.
327
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,000
I can't believe how dumb
some people are.
328
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:43,120
Well, if you can't do it,
then I guess I'm gonna have to.
329
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:46,030
I've tried everywhere
I know. Honest.
330
00:17:46,230 --> 00:17:50,060
What about the pet shop
that sold them to you?
331
00:17:50,260 --> 00:17:51,850
Everywhere but there.
332
00:17:52,050 --> 00:17:55,830
You sold the hamsters to Danny
for a $1.50 a piece.
333
00:17:56,030 --> 00:17:58,890
I'm willing to sell them
back to you for 75 cents,
334
00:17:59,090 --> 00:18:01,910
lock, stock and treadmill.
I'm sorry. I'd like to help.
335
00:18:02,110 --> 00:18:04,200
But I'm not in the business
of buying back pets.
336
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,200
You drive a hard bargain.
Fifty cents.
337
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:08,840
I'm afraid not.
Twenty-five cents?
338
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,870
I just don't need
any hamsters.
339
00:18:11,070 --> 00:18:12,200
But how can you say that?
340
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,230
You only have
these two little hamsters.
341
00:18:14,430 --> 00:18:15,870
[???]
342
00:18:16,070 --> 00:18:18,120
PATTERSON:
line of hamsters.
343
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:20,020
[???]
344
00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:22,010
All right.
345
00:18:22,210 --> 00:18:25,030
Free. But that's
my bottom offer.
346
00:18:31,140 --> 00:18:33,920
Danny.
Oh, hi, Mom.
347
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:36,030
They're all fed and ready
to go to the pet shop.
348
00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:37,990
They're not going
to the pet shop.
349
00:18:38,190 --> 00:18:40,170
Great, I knew
you'd change your mind.
350
00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:42,950
You won't be sorry.
I didn't change my mind.
351
00:18:43,150 --> 00:18:45,950
Mr. Patterson doesn't want them.
Nobody wants them.
352
00:18:46,150 --> 00:18:48,100
Great. We're still
the only people
353
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:50,020
that know
how valuable they are.
354
00:18:50,220 --> 00:18:52,160
Danny, you don't
seem to understand.
355
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:56,180
I realize that you are
attached to the hamsters,
356
00:18:56,380 --> 00:18:59,910
but they have to go.
Pets need affection.
357
00:19:00,110 --> 00:19:02,230
And you can't divide your love
a hundred ways.
358
00:19:02,430 --> 00:19:05,100
[???]
359
00:19:10,090 --> 00:19:12,820
Mom, I'm afraid
I'm too emotionally involved.
360
00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:14,150
You'll have to do it.
361
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:25,990
[SIGHS]
362
00:19:26,190 --> 00:19:29,180
I can't do it either.
Great. I knew you couldn't.
363
00:19:29,380 --> 00:19:31,190
So did I.
364
00:19:32,220 --> 00:19:33,970
But we have to do something.
365
00:19:34,170 --> 00:19:36,230
["I WOKE UP IN LOVE
THIS MORNING" PLAYING]
366
00:19:41,220 --> 00:19:44,220
? Last night
I turned out the lights ?
367
00:19:44,420 --> 00:19:46,930
? Lay down
And thought about you ?
368
00:19:47,130 --> 00:19:50,220
? I thought about the way
That it could be ?
369
00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:54,040
? Two o'clock, wondering
What I'm doing here ?
370
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,840
? Alone without you ?
371
00:19:56,040 --> 00:20:00,000
? So I close my eyes and dream
You're here to me ?
372
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,200
? And I woke up in love
This morning ?
373
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,850
? I woke up in love
This morning ?
374
00:20:07,050 --> 00:20:09,180
? Went to sleep with you ?
375
00:20:09,380 --> 00:20:11,220
? On my mind ?
376
00:20:14,020 --> 00:20:17,180
? Yes, I woke up in love
This morning ?
377
00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:20,850
? I woke up in love
This morning ?
378
00:20:21,050 --> 00:20:23,170
? Went to sleep with you ?
379
00:20:23,370 --> 00:20:25,190
? On my mind ?
380
00:20:27,170 --> 00:20:30,160
? Hello, girl
Yes, it's five o'clock ?
381
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:32,880
? I know
But you just listen ?
382
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:36,150
? There's something that
I've got to let you know ?
383
00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:37,950
? This is you ?
384
00:20:38,150 --> 00:20:41,830
? This pillow that
I'm hugging and I'm kissing ?
385
00:20:42,030 --> 00:20:45,200
? And one more thing
Before I let you go ?
386
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,890
? And I woke up in love
This morning ?
387
00:20:49,090 --> 00:20:52,230
? I woke up in love
This morning ?
388
00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:55,090
? Went to sleep with you ?
389
00:20:55,290 --> 00:20:57,100
? On my mind ?
390
00:20:59,130 --> 00:21:02,880
? And I woke up in love
This morning ?
391
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:06,210
? I woke up in love
This morning ?
392
00:21:06,410 --> 00:21:09,070
? Went to sleep with you ?
393
00:21:09,270 --> 00:21:11,120
? On my mind ?
394
00:21:14,070 --> 00:21:16,090
? Do dreams come true ?
395
00:21:16,290 --> 00:21:20,830
? Well, if they do
I'll have you ?
396
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:23,080
? Not just for a night ?
397
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:28,820
? But for my whole life
Through ?
398
00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:32,220
? And I woke up in love
This morning ?
399
00:21:32,420 --> 00:21:35,880
? I woke up in love
This morning ?
400
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,210
? Went to sleep with you ?
401
00:21:38,410 --> 00:21:40,200
? On my mind ?
402
00:21:43,030 --> 00:21:46,190
? Now, I woke up in love
This morning ?
403
00:21:46,390 --> 00:21:49,860
? I woke up in love
This morning ?
404
00:21:50,060 --> 00:21:52,180
? Went to sleep with you ?
405
00:21:52,380 --> 00:21:54,170
? On my mind ?
406
00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,000
? I woke up in love
This morning ?
407
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:00,910
Thank you.
408
00:22:01,110 --> 00:22:04,000
? I woke up in love
This morning ?
409
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:05,210
[CROWD CHATTERING]
410
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:14,140
Ah, no more midnight drives
411
00:22:14,340 --> 00:22:16,940
around the same old block
over and over.
412
00:22:17,140 --> 00:22:19,230
It's the best idea
Danny's ever come up with.
413
00:22:19,430 --> 00:22:22,110
Beginner's luck.
414
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,000
Wow, two hamsters.
415
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,950
Take my advice.
Buy another cage
416
00:22:29,150 --> 00:22:32,070
and put them at the opposite
ends of the house.
417
00:22:33,190 --> 00:22:35,160
Pardon me.
418
00:22:37,020 --> 00:22:38,810
How are we doing?
Well, fine.
419
00:22:39,010 --> 00:22:41,230
There's just one problem.
We're gonna run out of hamsters
420
00:22:41,430 --> 00:22:43,110
before we run out
of records.
421
00:22:43,310 --> 00:22:45,800
Chris, Tracy, take
Peter, Paul and Garfunkel
422
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,180
and put them
in the back room.
423
00:22:47,380 --> 00:22:50,160
Give us a couple hours.
We'll have a bunch more for you.
424
00:22:52,010 --> 00:22:52,870
That so?
425
00:22:53,070 --> 00:22:54,140
[CHUCKLES]
426
00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:56,120
[???]
427
00:23:03,070 --> 00:23:05,050
[???]
428
00:23:06,130 --> 00:23:08,110
I have to admit,
today was a first.
429
00:23:08,310 --> 00:23:09,800
[DOORBELL RINGS]
430
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,830
I've never autographed
a hamster before.
431
00:23:12,030 --> 00:23:13,900
Next time I'm gonna have
to breed earthworms.
432
00:23:14,100 --> 00:23:16,220
I'll never have to worry
about getting rid of them
433
00:23:16,420 --> 00:23:18,010
as long as there's dirt.
434
00:23:20,230 --> 00:23:22,030
Reuben, come on in.
435
00:23:22,230 --> 00:23:24,950
Oh, I'll just
stand here.
436
00:23:25,150 --> 00:23:27,140
I mean,
I know it's late...
437
00:23:27,340 --> 00:23:31,110
and I have a friend with me.
Who is it?
438
00:23:31,310 --> 00:23:32,920
[???]
439
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:36,140
[WHISPERING]
to know I have one.
440
00:23:36,340 --> 00:23:39,230
Hey, Mr. Kincaid
has a hamster.
441
00:23:41,090 --> 00:23:43,040
[NORMAL VOICE]
I can't get a break.
442
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,810
Okay, I don't wanna hear
any remarks.
443
00:23:46,010 --> 00:23:47,800
Why should we
make any remarks?
444
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,130
Just because you're
walking your hamster?
445
00:23:50,330 --> 00:23:51,830
It was a gift.
446
00:23:52,030 --> 00:23:53,830
A--A friend gave it to me.
447
00:23:54,030 --> 00:23:56,140
It looks like my hamster,
Mister Kincaid.
448
00:23:56,340 --> 00:23:58,830
A friend gave it to you?
449
00:23:59,030 --> 00:24:02,140
Okay, I gave it to me.
I'm a friend.
450
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:05,210
Look, don't push me, Laurie.
451
00:24:05,410 --> 00:24:08,200
I couldn't stand by and
watch you give away my namesake.
452
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:09,920
Why'd you bring him here?
453
00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:12,180
Well, because you know
about hamsters.
454
00:24:12,380 --> 00:24:13,840
Oh.
455
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,200
Yeah, he's acting kind of funny.
456
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:20,000
The poor little guy just
lays in the bottom of his cage.
457
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,100
I think he's in terrible pain.
458
00:24:22,300 --> 00:24:24,070
And he looks so swollen.
459
00:24:24,270 --> 00:24:24,960
[???]
460
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:28,200
Mr. Kincaid,
you better sit down.
461
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,010
What for?
Mr. Kincaid,
462
00:24:31,210 --> 00:24:34,210
have you ever thought about
putting out your own album?
463
00:24:34,410 --> 00:24:36,040
[LAUGHING]
464
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,120
[???]
465
00:24:40,220 --> 00:24:42,200
[???]
31847
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