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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,220
[THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY'S
"COME ON GET HAPPY" PLAYING]
2
00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:12,190
? Hello, world, hear the song
That we're singing ?
3
00:00:12,390 --> 00:00:17,040
? Come on, get happy ?
4
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:21,050
? A whole lot of lovin'
Is what we'll be bringing ?
5
00:00:21,250 --> 00:00:23,200
? We'll make you happy ?
6
00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:28,170
? We had a dream
We'd go traveling together ?
7
00:00:28,370 --> 00:00:30,130
? We'd spread a little love ?
8
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,120
? And then we'll keep
Movin' on ?
9
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,170
? Something always happens
Whenever we're together ?
10
00:00:35,370 --> 00:00:39,050
? We get a happy feeling
When we're singing a song ?
11
00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:43,000
? Traveling along there's
A song that we're singing ?
12
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:47,170
? Come on, get happy ?
13
00:00:47,370 --> 00:00:51,140
? A whole lot of lovin'
Is what we'll be bringing ?
14
00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:54,100
? We'll make you happy ?
15
00:00:54,300 --> 00:00:58,130
? We'll make you happy ?
16
00:00:58,330 --> 00:01:02,020
? We'll make you happy ?
17
00:01:04,010 --> 00:01:05,080
[???]
18
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,130
Oh, no.
What is it this time?
19
00:01:07,330 --> 00:01:10,110
KEITH: Too much salt.
Not enough pepper.
20
00:01:10,310 --> 00:01:12,060
It's just the right amount
of salt,
21
00:01:12,260 --> 00:01:13,190
and the right amount
of pepper.
22
00:01:13,390 --> 00:01:15,190
Look, I have been cooking
outdoors since I was 10.
23
00:01:15,390 --> 00:01:18,220
I didn't know they had barbecues
in those days.
24
00:01:18,420 --> 00:01:21,200
Sure, they did.
That was before they had stoves.
25
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,210
One great thing about
the good old days,
26
00:01:23,410 --> 00:01:25,160
children were seen
and not heard.
27
00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,220
I'd like to hear more
about the good old days.
28
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:30,130
I'm fascinated
by ancient history.
29
00:01:30,330 --> 00:01:33,100
KEITH:
invention of your time, Reuben?
30
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:36,170
The airplane? The radio?
The house?
31
00:01:36,370 --> 00:01:39,000
The muzzle.
32
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,200
Chefs can be pretty
temperamental.
33
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:42,110
You kids better leave Reuben
alone.
34
00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,040
Don't ask them
to leave me alone.
35
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,050
Ask them to get out
of my life.
36
00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:48,020
Here, kid,
do your thing.
37
00:01:48,220 --> 00:01:50,130
Mail call!
38
00:01:50,330 --> 00:01:52,200
You've been watching
too many war movies.
39
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,220
Chris, letter.
40
00:01:54,420 --> 00:01:57,110
Laurie,
seed catalogue from Chicago.
41
00:01:57,310 --> 00:01:59,100
Keith,
love letter.
42
00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:01,030
How do you know it's
a love letter?
43
00:02:01,230 --> 00:02:02,030
It's written in crayon.
44
00:02:02,230 --> 00:02:03,110
Laurie, letter.
45
00:02:03,310 --> 00:02:05,130
Letter mailed
to the wrong address.
46
00:02:05,330 --> 00:02:07,000
That's it.
47
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,140
Danny, I think
that last letter's for me.
48
00:02:09,340 --> 00:02:12,080
What? It's addressed
to a Shirley Renfrew.
49
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:13,130
I used my maiden name,
50
00:02:13,330 --> 00:02:15,190
so as not to draw attention
to myself.
51
00:02:15,390 --> 00:02:18,160
Hmm. Using your maiden name,
huh?
52
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,060
Plain brown envelope too.
53
00:02:20,260 --> 00:02:23,030
What did you send away for?
Hey, I've been accepted.
54
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:25,120
Accepted as what?
A student.
55
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:26,170
[???]
56
00:02:26,370 --> 00:02:28,050
I'm going back to college.
57
00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:31,220
[???]
58
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,230
[???]
59
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:46,100
Poor Mommy.
60
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,200
Who's making her go
to school?
61
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,180
No one.
She wants to.
62
00:02:49,380 --> 00:02:54,020
Why would anybody want to
unless their mother made them?
63
00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:55,120
I'm late.
Gotta go.
64
00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,180
First you have to eat breakfast.
I'm late.
65
00:02:57,380 --> 00:02:59,150
You can't do your best unless
you eat.
66
00:02:59,350 --> 00:03:00,180
SHIRLEY:
I don't have time.
67
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,110
Sure, you do.
68
00:03:02,310 --> 00:03:04,100
I got up early this morning
and set your clock ahead.
69
00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,140
That's pretty sneaky.
It sure is.
70
00:03:06,340 --> 00:03:08,010
You've been doing it to me
for years.
71
00:03:08,210 --> 00:03:10,120
Now, eat slowly.
Don't gulp down all your food.
72
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,010
Yeah, drink all your coffee.
It's good for you.
73
00:03:13,210 --> 00:03:16,030
I wonder if you going to college
is such a good idea.
74
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,190
I don't think one
little psychology course
75
00:03:17,390 --> 00:03:19,090
is gonna take up
that much time.
76
00:03:19,290 --> 00:03:22,020
Well, campuses are a hotbed
of radicals.
77
00:03:22,220 --> 00:03:23,040
I'm afraid you'll get mixed up
78
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,020
in some kind of protest march.
79
00:03:25,220 --> 00:03:27,220
I thought you had to be over 30
to be that Establishment.
80
00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:30,150
Maybe it's inches
instead of years.
81
00:03:30,350 --> 00:03:32,000
Look,
I'm gonna stay
82
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,140
out of the limelight
as much as possible.
83
00:03:33,340 --> 00:03:35,050
That's why I enrolled
under my maiden name.
84
00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:37,090
Oh, we want you to know
that we think it's great, Mom.
85
00:03:37,290 --> 00:03:39,050
I'm glad.
86
00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:41,090
Just had a need to broaden my
horizons a little, that's all.
87
00:03:41,290 --> 00:03:43,060
KEITH:
Oh, that's just an excuse.
88
00:03:43,260 --> 00:03:46,080
Admit it, we're getting
too smart for you.
89
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:47,220
You certainly are.
90
00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:50,000
[???]
91
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,000
Look, I really do have
to go. Goodbye, kids.
92
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,040
LAURIE: Bye.
Here's a present, Mom.
93
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,070
Oh, a color book and crayons.
Thank you, Tracy.
94
00:03:58,270 --> 00:03:59,220
It will give you something
to do
95
00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:01,230
on your blanket
during rest period.
96
00:04:01,430 --> 00:04:05,050
Goodbye, sweetie pie.
Goodbye, kids.
97
00:04:05,250 --> 00:04:07,020
Goodbye, Mom.
Come straight home from school.
98
00:04:07,220 --> 00:04:08,150
CHRIS:
Don't take candy from strangers.
99
00:04:08,350 --> 00:04:10,120
Look both ways
before crossing the street.
100
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:13,060
Necessity is the mother
of invention.
101
00:04:13,260 --> 00:04:16,010
[???]
102
00:04:41,220 --> 00:04:43,200
Oh.
Oh, boy.
103
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,140
Wait a minute.
Are you, uh, women's lib?
104
00:04:46,340 --> 00:04:49,130
No.
All right, then I'll do it.
105
00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:51,120
I'd have picked
them up right away,
106
00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,180
but I tried to pick up
a girl's books last week
107
00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,140
and she stepped
all over my hand.
108
00:04:55,340 --> 00:04:57,090
Scratched my school
ring and everything.
109
00:04:57,290 --> 00:04:59,200
I don't blame you
for being cautious.
110
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:03,000
Oh, it's Psychology 1A.
I'm taking that class.
111
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:04,170
Oh, great,
then I can follow you.
112
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:06,170
Maybe I won't get lost again.
113
00:05:06,370 --> 00:05:08,120
I came here early just
to get organized,
114
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:11,090
but the campus is so big.
115
00:05:11,290 --> 00:05:15,020
Yeah. Then this is
your first semester?
116
00:05:15,220 --> 00:05:17,220
I have a confession to make:
my first class.
117
00:05:19,220 --> 00:05:21,140
Look, do you think
maybe I could buy you
118
00:05:21,340 --> 00:05:22,180
a cup of coffee
or something?
119
00:05:22,380 --> 00:05:23,230
Oh, thank you.
120
00:05:23,430 --> 00:05:26,140
[???]
121
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,050
Here you go.
122
00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:44,200
Oh, by the way, I'm Paul.
Paul Bruner.
123
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,150
Shirley--
Renfrew.
124
00:05:46,350 --> 00:05:48,100
Glad to know you,
Shirley.
125
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:54,060
SHIRLEY:
since I first went,
126
00:05:54,260 --> 00:05:55,150
way back then.
127
00:05:55,350 --> 00:05:57,200
Oh, I bet it wasn't
that long ago.
128
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,160
Let me put it to you
this way.
129
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,050
Where is the malt shop,
young man?
130
00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:04,210
Whoops. Crayons?
131
00:06:04,410 --> 00:06:05,230
Afraid so.
132
00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:07,130
My daughter gave them
to me.
133
00:06:07,330 --> 00:06:09,150
You have a daughter?
134
00:06:09,350 --> 00:06:12,150
Oop.
You all right?
135
00:06:12,350 --> 00:06:14,150
Thanks, Paul.
I'm sorry.
136
00:06:14,350 --> 00:06:17,060
Hey, save me a place
at dinner tonight, okay?
137
00:06:17,260 --> 00:06:19,230
Right.
138
00:06:19,430 --> 00:06:23,110
That your girlfriend?
Oh, no, no.
139
00:06:23,310 --> 00:06:25,120
I mean, she is a friend,
and she is a girl,
140
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,010
but she's not my girlfriend.
141
00:06:27,210 --> 00:06:28,200
We live next to each other
in the dorm.
142
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,050
In the dorm?
143
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:33,050
Uh-huh. Yeah, you see,
it's coeducational.
144
00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:35,160
In fact,
she's my grad-student advisor,
145
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:39,030
so I guess you'd call her
my housemother.
146
00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:41,030
Things certainly have changed.
147
00:06:41,230 --> 00:06:43,200
We had coed dorms
when I went too,
148
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,050
but the school didn't know
about it.
149
00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:47,050
[???]
150
00:06:50,190 --> 00:06:52,230
Hey, Keith,
are there any campus incidents
151
00:06:52,430 --> 00:06:54,020
in the paper today?
152
00:06:54,220 --> 00:06:56,110
Mm. Let's see. Mm.
153
00:06:56,310 --> 00:06:58,140
Yeah, there was a mother
of five arrested
154
00:06:58,340 --> 00:06:59,230
for talking in class.
155
00:06:59,430 --> 00:07:02,090
She didn't raise her hand.
156
00:07:02,290 --> 00:07:04,110
Very funny.
157
00:07:04,310 --> 00:07:07,050
REUBEN:
You know, I envy your mother.
158
00:07:07,250 --> 00:07:09,180
It's good to be
in an academic atmosphere.
159
00:07:09,380 --> 00:07:12,090
Oh,
I remember my college days.
160
00:07:12,290 --> 00:07:15,020
There was this one
fraternity party.
161
00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:19,220
We had this cake,
and Mimsey Schwartz...
162
00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:23,190
Mr. Kincaid,
there are juveniles present.
163
00:07:23,390 --> 00:07:25,010
Oh.
164
00:07:25,210 --> 00:07:26,120
Better finish telling me
in my room.
165
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:29,060
You can read about it
when I write my memoirs:
166
00:07:29,260 --> 00:07:31,220
The Thrilling Adventures
of Reuben Kincaid.
167
00:07:31,420 --> 00:07:33,030
It'll be a thin book.
168
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:40,170
Hi.
ALL: Hi, Mom.
169
00:07:40,370 --> 00:07:43,140
Oh, what a day.
Sorry I'm late.
170
00:07:43,340 --> 00:07:45,150
The word is "tardy,"
Mom.
171
00:07:45,350 --> 00:07:47,060
LAURIE:
Well, how'd it go?
172
00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:49,230
I never dreamed
a campus could be so big.
173
00:07:49,430 --> 00:07:52,100
Um, according to
my calculations,
174
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:54,190
you should have been home
half an hour ago.
175
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:58,040
I hope you didn't run
into any bomb-throwing radicals.
176
00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:01,060
No, but I was almost hit
by a Frisbee.
177
00:08:01,260 --> 00:08:03,110
It wasn't loaded.
178
00:08:03,310 --> 00:08:05,030
No,
I stopped for coffee
179
00:08:05,230 --> 00:08:06,230
with one of the students,
Paul Bruner.
180
00:08:06,430 --> 00:08:08,190
ALL:
Oh.
181
00:08:08,390 --> 00:08:10,200
[KEITH WHISTLES]
182
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,060
KEITH:
already had a date, huh? Ha!
183
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,150
Mom, coach warned me
about girls like you.
184
00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:18,080
How was your date, Mom,
on a scale of zero to 10?
185
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:22,030
Is he rich?
First of all, he's only 19.
186
00:08:22,230 --> 00:08:25,150
You went out with an older man?
Nineteen?
187
00:08:25,350 --> 00:08:28,130
He's older than me.
It happens all the time.
188
00:08:28,330 --> 00:08:30,060
An attractive older woman meets
189
00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:31,220
an impressionable younger man.
190
00:08:31,420 --> 00:08:34,080
Sure. I can understand
how it could happen, Shirley.
191
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,200
I saw The Graduate .
192
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:39,070
Yeah, right,
the part where Mrs. Robinson...
193
00:08:39,270 --> 00:08:41,230
All right,
that's enough.
194
00:08:41,430 --> 00:08:43,170
If you all got it out
of your system,
195
00:08:43,370 --> 00:08:45,050
we'll just forget about it.
196
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,120
Who says we've got it
out of our systems?
197
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,060
I do.
198
00:08:49,260 --> 00:08:50,100
[PHONE RINGS]
199
00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:56,150
Hello?
200
00:08:56,350 --> 00:09:00,160
Oh. Hello.
Uh, could I speak to Sh--
201
00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:01,210
[CLEARS THROAT]
202
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,160
To Shirley, uh, Renfrew,
please,
203
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,100
if I'm not interrupting
anything?
204
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:06,200
Oh, no. No, no.
Not at all.
205
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:08,200
It's for a Shirley Renfrew.
206
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,050
Who is it?
207
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:11,190
I couldn't tell.
His voice keeps cracking.
208
00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:15,070
[???]
209
00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:20,190
Hello?
210
00:09:22,210 --> 00:09:24,190
Hello, Paul.
211
00:09:24,390 --> 00:09:26,140
Look, I'm sorry
if I'm interrupting anything,
212
00:09:26,340 --> 00:09:28,210
but remember that lecture that
Dr. Winthrom was mentioning?
213
00:09:28,410 --> 00:09:30,180
Yes?
Well, if you remember,
214
00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:33,030
it's all the way over across
town, at Macadamian Hall,
215
00:09:33,230 --> 00:09:35,110
and I know that you have a car
and I don't,
216
00:09:35,310 --> 00:09:39,120
and I thought that if you were
going, we could-- I thought--
217
00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,150
But if you're busy,
I can just forget it.
218
00:09:41,350 --> 00:09:45,140
If you're asking for a ride,
it's fine with me.
219
00:09:45,340 --> 00:09:47,020
It is?
220
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:50,150
SHIRLEY:
Yes, I will.
221
00:09:50,350 --> 00:09:53,140
Okay, thank you.
Bye.
222
00:09:53,340 --> 00:09:54,220
Goodbye.
223
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,060
[???]
224
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,200
[CHRIS GIGGLING]
225
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:04,090
[SIGHS]
226
00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:09,150
Oh, thanks for letting me
use your phone, Margo,
227
00:10:09,350 --> 00:10:13,120
but I made a fool of myself.
I think my voice even cracked.
228
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,170
Well, why are you so upset?
You got the date, didn't you?
229
00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:18,190
Yeah, but when I called,
a man answered.
230
00:10:18,390 --> 00:10:20,180
So what?
231
00:10:20,380 --> 00:10:22,230
Yeah.
232
00:10:22,430 --> 00:10:24,190
So what.
233
00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:29,040
Look, Margo,
uh...
234
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:32,000
you know, I told you
she's an older woman...
235
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:35,150
and, uh, well,
you're older,
236
00:10:35,350 --> 00:10:37,110
and I thought
maybe you could give me
237
00:10:37,310 --> 00:10:38,150
a hint or something,
you know,
238
00:10:38,350 --> 00:10:40,140
about what to do or what to say.
239
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,050
You won't believe this,
240
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,140
but I really don't know
how to handle this situation.
241
00:10:44,340 --> 00:10:48,100
Well, first,
you ask her if she wants to go
242
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,210
to a walk-in movie
or a drive-in.
243
00:10:50,410 --> 00:10:52,190
Now,
if she says drive-in--
244
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:54,140
No, no, no,
we're going to a lecture.
245
00:10:54,340 --> 00:10:57,140
Oh. A walk-in lecture
or a drive-in lecture?
246
00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:59,040
Walk-in. Macadamian Hall.
247
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,210
Oh,
good thinking on your part.
248
00:11:02,410 --> 00:11:04,220
It was?
That's outside of town,
249
00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:08,030
and you've got that long,
lonely drive back.
250
00:11:08,230 --> 00:11:09,090
[???]
251
00:11:09,290 --> 00:11:11,120
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
252
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:16,140
And then you whisper
sweet nothings in her ear.
253
00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:19,170
But you'll really know
you've got it made
254
00:11:19,370 --> 00:11:22,010
when that magic moment arrives.
255
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,230
What?
256
00:11:24,430 --> 00:11:27,160
When she pretends
to run out of gas.
257
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:28,230
[???]
258
00:11:39,230 --> 00:11:42,220
[CAR SPUTTERING]
259
00:11:42,420 --> 00:11:44,160
Oh, no.
260
00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,220
You'll never guess
what happened.
261
00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:48,100
No, what?
262
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:50,060
I ran out of gas.
263
00:11:50,260 --> 00:11:52,210
[???]
264
00:12:00,090 --> 00:12:02,140
Okay,
everybody ready?
265
00:12:02,340 --> 00:12:05,110
One, two.
266
00:12:05,310 --> 00:12:07,230
[PLAYING ORGAN]
267
00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:14,000
[SINGING "BROWN EYES"]
268
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,130
? Brown eyes
You're beautiful ?
269
00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:21,040
? And you're all mine ?
270
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:25,220
? I want you
Like you want me ?
271
00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:28,140
? All the time ?
272
00:12:28,340 --> 00:12:32,220
? Don't say that
You don't want me ?
273
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:36,100
? Don't make me run away ?
274
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:41,020
? 'Cause I need
That something ?
275
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:45,200
? You bring me every day ?
276
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:50,060
? Brown eyes
You're beautiful ?
277
00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:54,000
? And this song's for you ?
278
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:58,130
? I wrote this song
That I'm singing ?
279
00:12:58,330 --> 00:13:01,090
? Just for you ?
280
00:13:01,290 --> 00:13:05,110
? If words could
Paint a picture ?
281
00:13:05,310 --> 00:13:09,010
? There'd be no words to say ?
282
00:13:09,210 --> 00:13:13,170
? And I'd be
The greatest painter ?
283
00:13:13,370 --> 00:13:17,030
? In this whole world today ?
284
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:21,060
? And I know what I feel
And I know that it's real ?
285
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:25,020
? And I feel it every day ?
286
00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:29,020
? And I'm not gonna lay
No story on you, girl ?
287
00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:33,130
? If my story wasn't true ?
288
00:13:33,330 --> 00:13:42,100
? 'Cause you must know by now
I wrote this song for you ?
289
00:13:42,300 --> 00:13:46,230
? Brown eyes
You're beautiful ?
290
00:13:46,430 --> 00:13:50,130
? And you're all mine ?
291
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:55,050
? I know you want me
Like I want you ?
292
00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:57,120
? All the time ?
293
00:13:57,320 --> 00:14:02,000
? And if you're not
Sure I love you ?
294
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,110
? There's somethin'
On your mind ?
295
00:14:05,310 --> 00:14:10,010
? Listen to the
Song I'm singin' ?
296
00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:14,080
? I'll sing it one more time ?
297
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:19,110
? Brown eyes
You're beautiful ?
298
00:14:19,310 --> 00:14:22,130
? And you're mine ?
299
00:14:22,330 --> 00:14:27,140
? Brown eyes
I love you ?
300
00:14:27,340 --> 00:14:30,110
? All the time ?
301
00:14:30,310 --> 00:14:36,070
? Brown eyes
You're beautiful ?
302
00:14:36,270 --> 00:14:40,210
? And you're mine ?
303
00:14:47,050 --> 00:14:48,200
Huh. That wasn't bad.
304
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,100
Mom, you're a little late
with your cues.
305
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,180
I know, I'm sorry.
I'm a little tired.
306
00:14:52,380 --> 00:14:54,030
It's no wonder.
307
00:14:54,230 --> 00:14:57,100
You were out until 2:06
this morning.
308
00:14:57,300 --> 00:15:00,060
Weren't you out with Paul
last night?
309
00:15:00,260 --> 00:15:04,080
We went to a lecture.
Oh, come on, Mom.
310
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:07,030
No lecture takes
until 2:06 in the morning.
311
00:15:07,230 --> 00:15:08,220
What happened?
312
00:15:08,420 --> 00:15:12,000
I don't wanna tell you,
because I know what you'll say.
313
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,130
Oh, come on,
314
00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,070
it can't be any worse
than the excuses I give you
315
00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:16,160
when I come in late.
316
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:18,150
Okay.
317
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:21,190
After the lecture,
we ran out of gas.
318
00:15:21,390 --> 00:15:23,160
Oh, come on.
319
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:24,230
Come on, Mom,
320
00:15:24,430 --> 00:15:28,000
that's the oldest excuse
in the world.
321
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,060
Did you make him
walk home?
322
00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:35,000
What's so funny about running
out of gas?
323
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,010
Have you ever heard about
the birds and the bees?
324
00:15:38,210 --> 00:15:39,210
Sort of.
325
00:15:39,410 --> 00:15:42,010
Birds and bees
run out of gas.
326
00:15:42,210 --> 00:15:44,110
[???]
327
00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:52,230
I don't know.
328
00:15:52,430 --> 00:15:56,030
But you look great.
Besides, it's Reuben's idea.
329
00:15:56,230 --> 00:15:57,180
With a little coaxing from you.
330
00:15:57,380 --> 00:16:00,140
Oh, Mom.
Everybody's wearing them.
331
00:16:00,340 --> 00:16:03,080
Why are they called
hot pants? I'm cold.
332
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:04,190
Me too.
333
00:16:04,390 --> 00:16:07,010
Laurie, I don't think
these are right for me.
334
00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:08,230
What's wrong
with our old costumes?
335
00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:11,070
Well, you're just a little
self-conscious right now.
336
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:13,210
It's not like we'll be wearing
them in public.
337
00:16:13,410 --> 00:16:15,070
Just when we perform.
338
00:16:15,270 --> 00:16:16,210
That's great feminine logic,
339
00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:19,030
but it makes no sense at all.
340
00:16:19,230 --> 00:16:21,070
I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to disappoint you and Reuben.
341
00:16:21,270 --> 00:16:22,130
Oh, but, Mom.
342
00:16:22,330 --> 00:16:23,200
[DOORBELL RINGS]
343
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,050
That's him.
I'll tell him myself.
344
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:28,070
[???]
345
00:16:34,220 --> 00:16:37,060
WOMAN:
Shirley Renfrew, please.
346
00:16:37,260 --> 00:16:40,210
Oh,
I'm Shirley Renfrew.
347
00:16:40,410 --> 00:16:43,220
It's worse
than we thought.
348
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:46,150
MAN:
We're the Bruners.
349
00:16:46,350 --> 00:16:47,230
Paul's parents.
350
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:53,200
Oh, of course.
I wasn't thinking.
351
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,000
I'm sorry.
Please come in.
352
00:17:02,110 --> 00:17:06,130
I suppose you're wondering
why I'm dressed like this.
353
00:17:06,330 --> 00:17:08,160
Looks very nice.
354
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,220
My daughter asked me
to try them on.
355
00:17:10,420 --> 00:17:13,030
Charming child,
I'm sure.
356
00:17:13,230 --> 00:17:14,170
Would you sit down?
357
00:17:14,370 --> 00:17:17,160
Paul mentioned
that you had a child.
358
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:20,200
Well, actually,
I have five.
359
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:24,080
Five?!
He didn't tell us that.
360
00:17:26,220 --> 00:17:30,040
Well,
we want you to know right off
361
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:33,140
that we're enlightened parents
and this isn't easy.
362
00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:41,130
Look, let's quit beating
around the bush.
363
00:17:41,330 --> 00:17:42,180
We saw The Graduate .
364
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,100
Twice.
365
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:49,160
Exactly what are your intentions
toward our son?
366
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:51,130
Intent--?
367
00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:53,090
What intentions?
368
00:17:53,290 --> 00:17:55,090
I have no intentions.
369
00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:57,070
Well,
he's always talking about you,
370
00:17:57,270 --> 00:18:00,020
about the lectures you go
to together,
371
00:18:00,220 --> 00:18:01,110
and your running out of gas.
372
00:18:07,090 --> 00:18:09,130
Now, frankly, we can see
what he sees in you...
373
00:18:10,220 --> 00:18:13,100
but what do you
see in him?
374
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:16,080
I don't see anything in him.
375
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:21,050
Look, Paul is a very nice boy,
but we're really just friends.
376
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:23,130
Really, just friends.
377
00:18:23,330 --> 00:18:25,160
Really?
Of course.
378
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:31,110
Well,
I'm terribly embarrassed.
379
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:33,050
Oh. Oh.
380
00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:35,110
[???]
381
00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:39,180
Oh. Oh, my--
My children were teasing me.
382
00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:42,220
Paul called one day and...
383
00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:44,130
And I...
384
00:18:44,330 --> 00:18:46,050
Uh...
385
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:52,170
Look, somehow Paul has mistaken
our relationship for...
386
00:18:52,370 --> 00:18:54,030
a relationship.
387
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,100
Yeah.
388
00:18:57,300 --> 00:19:00,210
You mean you really didn't know
he had this crush on you?
389
00:19:00,410 --> 00:19:02,110
Absolutely not.
390
00:19:02,310 --> 00:19:04,210
He's too shy.
I told you he's too shy.
391
00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:07,100
Should have
told the whole world.
392
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:09,120
I assure you,
I'm not the kind of woman--
393
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,160
MR. BRUNER:
I believe you.
394
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,050
You definitely don't have the
kind of face
395
00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:14,060
to do something like that.
396
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:19,070
Although you do have the legs.
397
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:23,200
Let's go, Margaret.
398
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,230
It's no longer our problem.
399
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:29,190
Whose problem is it?
It's your problem.
400
00:19:29,390 --> 00:19:31,010
We can't help you,
401
00:19:31,210 --> 00:19:32,100
because Paul would know
we came here
402
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:35,000
and he'd never forgive us.
403
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,050
Look, I think I--
404
00:19:36,250 --> 00:19:38,120
I think I know how
to handle this.
405
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,040
I'll invite him to dinner.
406
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,210
If he thinks
I only have one child,
407
00:19:41,410 --> 00:19:43,230
perhaps if he sees me
with my whole family,
408
00:19:43,430 --> 00:19:46,200
he'll get quite
a surprise.
409
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,040
Can I give you
a little suggestion?
410
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,160
Yes?
411
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:51,130
The night you're having
the dinner,
412
00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:53,140
if you really wanna get rid
of him,
413
00:19:53,340 --> 00:19:55,000
don't wear those.
414
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,200
[???]
415
00:20:07,010 --> 00:20:09,080
Hi.
Hi. Is your mommy home?
416
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:10,120
KEITH:
Tracy, who is it?
417
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:15,010
Hi, I'm Keith Partridge.
You must be--
418
00:20:15,210 --> 00:20:17,060
Keith Partridge, the singer?
Yeah.
419
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,210
Some competition.
Beg your pardon?
420
00:20:20,410 --> 00:20:23,010
Uh, nothing.
I'm Paul. Paul Bruner.
421
00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:25,120
Hi. Come on in.
Mom told us you were coming.
422
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,050
Mom?
423
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:33,080
Are you the Partridge Family?
CHRIS: You mean you didn't know?
424
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,150
No.
Mom used her maiden name
425
00:20:35,350 --> 00:20:37,170
in college so she wouldn't
draw attention to herself.
426
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:39,170
How would you like our
autograph? It's cheap.
427
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,090
Hi, Paul.
Make yourself comfortable.
428
00:20:44,290 --> 00:20:46,140
I'll have dinner ready
in a minute.
429
00:20:46,340 --> 00:20:48,180
Come on and sit down,
Paul.
430
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:51,160
Yeah, um,
Mom told us all about you.
431
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:53,110
Yeah, she told us
about the time you, uh,
432
00:20:53,310 --> 00:20:55,100
ran out of gas.
433
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:57,090
Oh, now,
that wasn't my fault.
434
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:59,020
I mean, I wasn't driving,
and it wasn't my car,
435
00:20:59,220 --> 00:21:00,200
and it wasn't my gas
we ran out of.
436
00:21:07,090 --> 00:21:09,130
Why don't you guys quit
putting him on.
437
00:21:09,330 --> 00:21:12,040
What?
That's no way to treat a guest.
438
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,070
Hi. I'm Laurie.
Hi. Another Partridge?
439
00:21:15,270 --> 00:21:16,200
Afraid so.
440
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,150
Oh, let me put these
in water for you.
441
00:21:18,350 --> 00:21:21,230
Thank you. I didn't know there
were two pretty Partridges.
442
00:21:21,430 --> 00:21:24,040
Neither did I.
443
00:21:25,170 --> 00:21:27,050
[???]
444
00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:30,110
CHRIS:
May we be excused?
445
00:21:30,310 --> 00:21:32,060
KEITH:
Me too. I'm gonna be late.
446
00:21:32,260 --> 00:21:34,160
Paul, it was nice meeting you.
Yes. Thank you. Right.
447
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:37,100
KEITH: Bye, Mom.
Bye.
448
00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:41,030
Well, now maybe you'll have
a chance to get a word in, Paul.
449
00:21:41,230 --> 00:21:43,150
Look, why don't you two go in
the other room while I clean up.
450
00:21:43,350 --> 00:21:45,110
Oh, great.
451
00:21:45,310 --> 00:21:47,150
Boy,
you must think I'm dumb.
452
00:21:47,350 --> 00:21:49,210
I really didn't know you were
the Partridge Family.
453
00:21:49,410 --> 00:21:51,090
I'd-- I'd heard your records,
you know,
454
00:21:51,290 --> 00:21:52,100
but I'd never seen you.
455
00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:54,060
Well,
now you've seen us.
456
00:21:54,260 --> 00:21:57,110
Maybe I should pay more
attention to those album covers.
457
00:21:57,310 --> 00:21:58,190
[???]
458
00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:04,220
[???]
459
00:22:08,170 --> 00:22:10,190
You, helping?
460
00:22:10,390 --> 00:22:12,180
I think Paul likes Laurie.
461
00:22:12,380 --> 00:22:15,040
He gave me a quarter
to leave the room.
462
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,090
I didn't think anybody
ever did that.
463
00:22:17,290 --> 00:22:19,170
But I'm surprised at you.
What do you mean?
464
00:22:19,370 --> 00:22:22,220
I thought sure you'd hold out
for at least 50 cents.
465
00:22:22,420 --> 00:22:24,230
Well,
I can't complain.
466
00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:27,230
I sold him
my autograph for 75.
467
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,090
Uh, Shirley.
Mrs. Partridge.
468
00:22:32,290 --> 00:22:33,150
Could I speak to you
for a second?
469
00:22:33,350 --> 00:22:36,130
Of course.
In private.
470
00:22:36,330 --> 00:22:38,100
Danny.
471
00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:41,050
So much for free enterprise.
472
00:22:42,170 --> 00:22:44,100
Uh,
Mrs. Partridge,
473
00:22:44,300 --> 00:22:46,160
I had such a nice time tonight.
Oh, I'm glad.
474
00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:47,210
But I was wondering,
475
00:22:47,410 --> 00:22:49,160
on Friday there's
another lecture...
476
00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,210
Uh,
I think I'm busy Friday.
477
00:22:51,410 --> 00:22:54,020
It should be interesting
and educational.
478
00:22:54,220 --> 00:22:55,190
Oh, I--
479
00:22:55,390 --> 00:22:57,220
I'm sure there's something
on my calendar for Friday--
480
00:22:57,420 --> 00:22:59,200
And I know I can get
my father's car.
481
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,050
I'm afraid it's gonna be busy--
482
00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:02,180
If it's all right,
I'd like to ask Laurie.
483
00:23:02,380 --> 00:23:03,180
I'm afraid I just--
484
00:23:03,380 --> 00:23:04,220
[???]
485
00:23:04,420 --> 00:23:06,170
Laurie?
Yes.
486
00:23:06,370 --> 00:23:09,130
I thought I'd better
ask your permission first
487
00:23:09,330 --> 00:23:11,220
because, after all,
I am an older man.
488
00:23:13,030 --> 00:23:16,200
Yes,
you certainly are.
489
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:20,190
Permission granted, Mr. Bruner.
Thank you, Mrs. Partridge.
490
00:23:20,390 --> 00:23:22,200
[???]
491
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,190
[???]
492
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,080
You don't play fair.
493
00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,070
You keep on taking
all my checkers.
494
00:23:40,270 --> 00:23:42,120
CHRIS:
the game.
495
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,050
TRACY:
I quit.
496
00:23:44,250 --> 00:23:48,070
Mom, that's a classic example
of sibling rivalry.
497
00:23:48,270 --> 00:23:51,070
Classic example
of a sore loser.
498
00:23:51,270 --> 00:23:55,100
You know, I've been reading
a lot about psychology lately.
499
00:23:55,300 --> 00:23:58,090
If you need any help
with your homework, just yell.
500
00:23:58,290 --> 00:24:00,110
Oh, yeah,
he's an expert all right.
501
00:24:00,310 --> 00:24:02,180
He just finished reading
The Life of Freud
502
00:24:02,380 --> 00:24:05,160
in a Classic comic book.
503
00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:07,060
DANNY:
Tell me, Keith,
504
00:24:07,260 --> 00:24:09,140
when did you first feel
this neurotic compulsion
505
00:24:09,340 --> 00:24:12,060
to insult people?
Let's see.
506
00:24:12,260 --> 00:24:14,020
I think it was
about a split-second
507
00:24:14,220 --> 00:24:15,160
after you first insulted me,
Danny.
508
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:18,170
Fine, just relax
and tell me the whole story.
509
00:24:18,370 --> 00:24:21,180
You know, I wish you'd read
the life story of Evel Knievel.
510
00:24:21,380 --> 00:24:23,080
Why is that?
511
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:26,190
Well, then, maybe you might
go take a flying leap.
512
00:24:26,390 --> 00:24:28,070
Hostile.
513
00:24:28,270 --> 00:24:30,200
[???]
514
00:24:32,130 --> 00:24:34,220
Hi.
515
00:24:34,420 --> 00:24:37,060
SHIRLEY:
Hi. How was your date?
516
00:24:37,260 --> 00:24:39,010
Oh,
it was a good lecture.
517
00:24:39,210 --> 00:24:40,110
Oh, by the way,
518
00:24:40,310 --> 00:24:41,230
Paul wants an autographed
picture of you
519
00:24:41,430 --> 00:24:43,120
wearing hot pants.
520
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:44,190
Paul?
Is that the same boy
521
00:24:44,390 --> 00:24:47,210
that panicked
when I ran out of gas?
522
00:24:47,410 --> 00:24:49,140
Oh,
it's not for him.
523
00:24:49,340 --> 00:24:51,080
It's for his dad.
524
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:54,040
[???]
525
00:24:56,050 --> 00:24:59,070
[???]
34600
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