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00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:04,603
♪ It seems todaythat all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:08,073
♪ Is violence in moviesand sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:11,676
♪ But where are thosegood old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,746
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:18,317
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:21,503
♪ Lucky there's a manwho positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,571 --> 00:00:23,132
♪ All the thingsthat make us ♪
8
00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:24,956
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:30,062
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:35,685 --> 00:00:37,218
Hey, guys, look what I got.
11
00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:40,088
It's a magic genie speaker
that plays music, talks,
12
00:00:40,157 --> 00:00:42,441
and knows stuff,
all without wires.
13
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:43,742
But there's a wire.
14
00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:44,976
No more from you, please.
15
00:00:45,046 --> 00:00:46,589
All right,
let me squinch my face up
16
00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:48,747
and put on a pair of glasses
I never wear
17
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:50,182
to look at these directions.
18
00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:55,421
Boy, if they were giving out
medals for tiny writing...
19
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,389
Huh? Huh?
20
00:00:57,458 --> 00:00:58,957
Okay.
21
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:02,127
Now, to activate the speaker,
you say its name.
22
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:03,411
Brandee.
23
00:01:04,949 --> 00:01:06,414
And now you just talk at it.
24
00:01:06,484 --> 00:01:08,717
Brandee, what's going on
in the news?
25
00:01:08,786 --> 00:01:10,919
Breaking newsfrom The Huffington Post:
26
00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:13,021
"Prince bred
purple dolphins."
27
00:01:13,089 --> 00:01:15,490
Wasn't there a senator shot
this morning?
28
00:01:15,559 --> 00:01:18,626
You see? Right there,
this device is
a perfect example
29
00:01:18,695 --> 00:01:20,640
of how we continue
to become more inept
30
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,731
due to our dependency
upon machines.
31
00:01:22,799 --> 00:01:24,900
There was a time,
not too long ago,
32
00:01:24,969 --> 00:01:27,069
when people would talk
to each other.
33
00:01:27,137 --> 00:01:29,537
Yeah, the bad times,
the Sucky Ages.
34
00:01:29,606 --> 00:01:31,039
Our society is doomed.
35
00:01:31,108 --> 00:01:33,275
People and technology
are a bad match.
36
00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:35,460
Just like moms and Radiohead.
37
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:37,746
Oh, no. No, no.
38
00:01:37,814 --> 00:01:39,247
This isn't music.
39
00:01:39,315 --> 00:01:41,149
No, I don't like this, David.
40
00:01:41,217 --> 00:01:42,751
No. That's enough.
41
00:01:42,819 --> 00:01:44,719
No, David, I don't like that.
42
00:01:44,788 --> 00:01:45,888
No.
43
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:52,410
Sharon.
Hey, it's Brian Griffin.
44
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:55,347
Wondering if you were free
for dinner on Saturday.
45
00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:57,415
You died? Oh.
46
00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:59,217
So you're dead right now?
47
00:01:59,286 --> 00:02:00,552
What's that like?
48
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,822
God, why am I such a loser?
49
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:05,935
Possible reasons
for being a loser:
50
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,893
bad breath, arrogance,
unemployment...
51
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,094
Okay, okay.
52
00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:11,808
This is not helping my hangover.
53
00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:14,644
The Hangover Part III,
available forinstant download.
54
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,301
I never saw it. Is it good?
55
00:02:16,370 --> 00:02:17,736
Searching reviews.
56
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:20,071
Top critic
on Rotten Tomatoes says,
57
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,974
"I walkedout of the theater,and I'm Ed Helms."
58
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,143
Okay, no download, but thanks.
59
00:02:25,212 --> 00:02:26,345
Maybe you are useful.
60
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,224
But I bet you can't answer
this question:
61
00:02:28,248 --> 00:02:30,449
Brandee, what is love?
62
00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:33,117
John Lennon said,
"Love is the answer."
63
00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:36,054
He also said, "No, thanks,
every hot woman.
64
00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:38,322
"I'll take this woman
crawling out of the well
65
00:02:38,359 --> 00:02:40,525
from The Ring whonone of my friends like."
66
00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:42,405
Yeah, I bet they were
all like, "Oh, no."
67
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:44,529
- Downloading Yoko Ono.
- Oh, no.
68
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,231
Downloading more Yoko Ono.
69
00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:47,532
No, no. No Ono.
70
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,334
Downloading all Yoko Ono.
71
00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:53,271
Oh, no.
72
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:56,124
I don't care
for this music either, David.
73
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,291
Boy, you know,
I haven't stayed up all night
74
00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:03,916
talking like that in forever.
75
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:06,317
And thanks for suggesting
I buy that Fitbit.
76
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,687
Customers who bought Fitbit
also bought
77
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:11,690
"enormous exercise ball
that's always in the way."
78
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:13,637
Why not?
Just put it on my card.
79
00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:14,927
Oh, good, there she is.
80
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,915
Brandee, this is very important:
81
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:19,731
what's the biggest poo
anyone has ever pooed?
82
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,132
Come on, Peter.
83
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:24,002
History's largest bowel
movement occurred in 1998,
84
00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:26,805
at a Hardee's in Memphis,
by Aretha Franklin.
85
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,506
Damn, I owe Chris five bucks.
86
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:31,126
Chris, you were right,
it was '98!
87
00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:36,492
This new hat looks pretty sharp.
88
00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:37,749
I bet it does.
89
00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:40,418
Shall I alert you
when DickCaps.com
90
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:41,886
is having another sale?
91
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:44,322
Sure. I'll get
that pre-frayed visor.
92
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:49,361
I, um... I like you, Brandee.
93
00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:50,879
I like you, too.
94
00:03:52,749 --> 00:03:53,848
That's weird.
95
00:03:53,917 --> 00:03:55,083
You're on a weird date.
96
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:56,363
Peter, what are you doing here?
97
00:03:56,387 --> 00:03:58,953
Pulling the popcorn
bucket trick on myself.
98
00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:03,825
I still can't find it.
99
00:04:03,894 --> 00:04:05,444
This is humbling.
100
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:10,999
Whoa.
101
00:04:11,068 --> 00:04:12,700
Welcome to Hodgepodge Lodge.
102
00:04:12,769 --> 00:04:14,230
What the hell is all this crap?
103
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,765
Oh, just stuff
Bran suggested I buy.
104
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:17,333
Ooh.
105
00:04:17,357 --> 00:04:20,308
That might be the Every
Shark Tank Item Ever Package.
106
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,739
- Brian Griffin?
- Yes?
107
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,930
I'm from The Apache
Collection Agency.
108
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:27,098
You're way over
your credit card limit.
109
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,184
Whoa, h-hold on, hold on!
110
00:04:35,225 --> 00:04:36,870
I didn't buy that,
Peter bought that.
111
00:04:36,894 --> 00:04:39,061
I know, but I need one.
112
00:04:39,129 --> 00:04:40,907
Brian, before I go,
113
00:04:40,931 --> 00:04:42,642
there's something
I want to tell you.
114
00:04:42,666 --> 00:04:44,149
What? What is it?
115
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:48,002
The Grand Canyon spans
277 miles.
116
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,706
I'm gonna miss you, too,
Brandee.
117
00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:57,678
Stewie, you know what?
118
00:04:57,747 --> 00:04:59,314
It's hard being a dog.
119
00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,361
Maybe if you stopped
feeling sorry for yourself,
120
00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:03,496
you could actually
do something
positive with your life.
121
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:04,752
Ah, forget it.
122
00:05:04,821 --> 00:05:06,332
I'm just gonna lie down
on the couch
123
00:05:06,356 --> 00:05:09,124
with my head on the armrest
to accentuate how sad I am.
124
00:05:09,192 --> 00:05:11,426
You know, Brian, if I had... aw...
125
00:05:11,494 --> 00:05:13,929
One day in your body,
I would give it back to you
126
00:05:13,997 --> 00:05:15,730
with a new and improved life.
127
00:05:15,799 --> 00:05:17,743
You know what my response is
to that?
128
00:05:17,767 --> 00:05:20,018
A through-the-nose dog exhale.
129
00:05:24,841 --> 00:05:28,310
I realize I've wasted most of
my life being a pathetic jerk.
130
00:05:28,378 --> 00:05:30,495
You know, like you were
at Disneyland.
131
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,644
Hey, kid, can you duck down
for this picture?
132
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,034
What? Why?
133
00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:37,602
It's our family photo.
134
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,049
You're kind of getting
in the way.
135
00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:40,817
I'm not ducking down,
you duck down.
136
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,001
You're getting in my way.
137
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,687
Stop being a brat and duck down.
138
00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:44,876
No way.
139
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,327
In fact, I'm standing.
140
00:05:56,072 --> 00:05:57,806
Whoa, what's this?
141
00:05:57,874 --> 00:05:59,073
Brian, I present to you
142
00:05:59,142 --> 00:06:01,609
my particle interchange
transporter.
143
00:06:01,678 --> 00:06:03,845
♪ ♪
144
00:06:09,152 --> 00:06:11,987
Wait, wait, wait. So when you
said "spend a day in my body,"
145
00:06:12,055 --> 00:06:13,221
you were being literal?
146
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:14,555
That's right, Brian.
147
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:17,191
This device will allow me
to inhabit your body
148
00:06:17,260 --> 00:06:18,326
and you, mine.
149
00:06:18,394 --> 00:06:19,961
That way I can fix your life
150
00:06:20,030 --> 00:06:21,980
and then
return your body to you.
151
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,382
Now, the instructions
gave me a couple of options.
152
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:27,218
I chose the one where my voice
will be coming from your body
153
00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:28,319
and vice-versa.
154
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,588
Still, from time to time,
155
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,534
we will have to imitate
the other person's voice
156
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,469
to fool those who
don't know what we've done,
157
00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:34,593
which is everyone.
158
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,044
Stewie, this is ridiculous.
159
00:06:36,112 --> 00:06:37,890
Trust me.
What do you have to lose?
160
00:06:37,914 --> 00:06:39,347
Literally nothing.
161
00:06:39,416 --> 00:06:42,350
Fine. But just for the record,
every device you've ever made
162
00:06:42,419 --> 00:06:44,197
has broken
at some crucial juncture.
163
00:06:44,221 --> 00:06:45,253
This one won't.
164
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:46,382
All right,
you talked me into it.
165
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,272
Okay, here we go.
166
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:50,252
I'll see you
on the other side...
167
00:06:50,276 --> 00:06:51,409
of your eyes.
168
00:06:51,478 --> 00:06:53,344
Whoa.
169
00:07:20,173 --> 00:07:21,584
My hand.
170
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:22,874
I mean, your hand.
171
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,075
It's mine.
172
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:25,144
Yes!
173
00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:27,195
Stewie, I think it worked.
174
00:07:27,264 --> 00:07:29,648
We did it.
We switched bodies.
175
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,866
Wow, this is really weird.
176
00:07:31,935 --> 00:07:33,702
It feels like... Hey!
177
00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:36,721
What the hell have you
been complaining about?
178
00:07:44,648 --> 00:07:47,449
I can't believe we actually
switched bodies, Stewie.
179
00:07:47,517 --> 00:07:49,217
And, God, your head.
180
00:07:49,286 --> 00:07:50,652
It's so heavy.
181
00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:52,265
Yeah, you got to have
a wide base.
182
00:07:52,289 --> 00:07:53,622
Let the shoulders do more.
183
00:07:55,525 --> 00:07:57,737
All right, all right, I think,
I think I'm getting it.
184
00:07:57,761 --> 00:07:59,894
Okay, I'm off to get you a job,
185
00:07:59,963 --> 00:08:03,197
a girlfriend,
and onto the road less scummy.
186
00:08:03,267 --> 00:08:05,627
I think I'm just gonna go
downstairs and get a snack.
187
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:12,123
Whoa. These are big.
188
00:08:12,759 --> 00:08:13,892
Uhp.
189
00:08:13,961 --> 00:08:15,572
Gonna need some help
with this one.
190
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:17,929
Ma! Ma!
191
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,098
Mom! Mommy!
192
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,845
- Mama!
- Hey!
193
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:23,568
Don't do my classic bits.
194
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:25,581
I may want
to do that one again someday.
195
00:08:25,605 --> 00:08:27,383
- Blast!
- That, you can do.
196
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:28,523
I'm done with that.
197
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:35,424
So, how exactly
are you planning
to get me a job here?
198
00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:36,615
It's very easy.
199
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:39,117
My research shows
that every seven minutes,
200
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,164
a professor is fired
for having sex
with one of his students.
201
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:45,390
I simply wait until...
Oh, here we go.
202
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:48,226
Are there any unemployed
professors here?
203
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:50,106
Who haven't had sex
with a student
204
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,363
or tweeted about assassinating
the president?
205
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,100
All right, it's you.
206
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,485
Welcome to Poetry 101.
207
00:08:57,554 --> 00:08:58,686
I'm Professor Griffin.
208
00:08:58,754 --> 00:09:00,874
Please open your books
to the introduction,
209
00:09:00,924 --> 00:09:03,108
which defines what poetry is.
210
00:09:04,194 --> 00:09:05,527
Now rip it out.
211
00:09:05,595 --> 00:09:07,173
Do we include the foreword?
212
00:09:07,197 --> 00:09:08,296
Yes, I suppose.
213
00:09:08,365 --> 00:09:09,708
What about the preface?
214
00:09:09,732 --> 00:09:10,865
Yes, the preface, too.
215
00:09:10,933 --> 00:09:12,478
So, not the acknowledgements?
216
00:09:12,502 --> 00:09:13,879
What about the frontispiece?
217
00:09:13,903 --> 00:09:15,714
- That's not even a thing.
- Yes, it is.
218
00:09:15,738 --> 00:09:17,883
It's the illustration
facing the title page.
219
00:09:17,907 --> 00:09:19,885
Just rip everything out
that's not poetry.
220
00:09:19,909 --> 00:09:22,477
You wrote on the
board, "Everything is poetry."
221
00:09:22,546 --> 00:09:23,744
Ignore that!
222
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,391
He didn't know
what a frontispiece was!
223
00:09:25,415 --> 00:09:27,382
Professor Griffin sucks!
224
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,304
Frontispiece.
225
00:09:40,563 --> 00:09:41,996
What's wrong, honey?
226
00:09:42,065 --> 00:09:44,305
Well, it's a long story,
but I was really hoping
227
00:09:44,367 --> 00:09:46,607
to come home with a job
and a girlfriend today.
228
00:09:46,636 --> 00:09:50,171
I could be your girlfriend...
and give you a job.
229
00:09:50,239 --> 00:09:51,272
Really?
230
00:09:51,340 --> 00:09:52,818
This day's starting to look up.
231
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,876
Follow me into the men's room.
232
00:09:54,944 --> 00:09:56,978
Is this... is this dating?
233
00:09:57,047 --> 00:09:58,463
Is this how dating works?
234
00:09:58,531 --> 00:09:59,825
You're cute.
235
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,249
I like you.
236
00:10:03,253 --> 00:10:04,818
Help! She's trying to eat me!
237
00:10:04,887 --> 00:10:06,087
Get back here!
238
00:10:06,156 --> 00:10:07,396
You owe me a hundred dollars!
239
00:10:07,457 --> 00:10:09,624
Anton, we got a runner!
240
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,693
You better pay my wife, bitch.
241
00:10:11,762 --> 00:10:13,428
Go go, Brian dog legs!
242
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,640
Hey, how'd it go fixing my life?
243
00:10:21,671 --> 00:10:22,904
Oh, not great.
244
00:10:22,972 --> 00:10:24,550
There's nothing
I can do with this body.
245
00:10:24,574 --> 00:10:26,518
Also, I know this is
a big inconvenience,
246
00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:29,110
but you and the trash guy
now wave to each other.
247
00:10:29,179 --> 00:10:30,277
Aw, really?
248
00:10:30,346 --> 00:10:31,891
It's once a week,
it's not that bad.
249
00:10:31,915 --> 00:10:33,347
H-He really lit up.
250
00:10:33,416 --> 00:10:35,695
Oh, and you're
gonna hate this,
but I gave him the salute,
251
00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:37,618
so you're a salute guy now.
252
00:10:37,687 --> 00:10:39,098
Well, is he a veteran, at least?
253
00:10:39,122 --> 00:10:40,122
Does it matter?
254
00:10:40,190 --> 00:10:41,533
You're saluting
the trash guy now.
255
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:42,924
All right, let's switch back.
256
00:10:42,992 --> 00:10:45,326
Just a few more seconds,
and we'll be back to normal.
257
00:10:47,463 --> 00:10:49,375
- Hey, Chris.
- Hey, four eyes.
258
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:50,676
What did you call me?
259
00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:51,995
Oh, you're deaf, too?
260
00:11:03,429 --> 00:11:05,208
Wh-What happened?
261
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:06,775
Stewie? Is that you?
262
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:09,533
Yes, Brian, it's...
God, that is a tight belt.
263
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:11,035
How does he live like this?
264
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:14,038
Oh. There we go.
265
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:16,607
If I'm in Chris' body,
he must be in mine.
266
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,843
He's got to be freaking out.
267
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:21,612
What the hell have you
been complaining about?
268
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,281
Oh, my God, Peter!
269
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,833
Peter? You in there?
270
00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:27,768
I feel really weird.
271
00:11:27,837 --> 00:11:30,157
What the hell's going on?
What happened to my body?
272
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,467
He's panicking.
We can't let him know
what's going on.
273
00:11:32,491 --> 00:11:33,791
Don't worry, I got an idea.
274
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:37,428
Peter, everything's fine.
Just look in the mirror.
275
00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:40,176
Well, here you go,
about to put you
in front of the mirror.
276
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,533
Right... now.
277
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:44,435
Oh, phew, there I am.
278
00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:45,937
Hi, me!
279
00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:47,638
Okay, everything seems normal.
280
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,208
Now to do my traditional
"Mirror Dance."
281
00:11:50,276 --> 00:11:52,009
♪ There's a place in France ♪
282
00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,945
♪ Where I do my mirror dance ♪
283
00:11:54,013 --> 00:11:57,093
♪ There's a hole in the wallwhere the men cansee it all ♪
284
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:58,682
♪ But the women don't care ♪
285
00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:01,285
♪ 'Cause they're dancin'
in their underwear. ♪
286
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:02,519
And their bras.
287
00:12:02,588 --> 00:12:04,939
Okay, that's great, Peter.
Time for your nap.
288
00:12:05,008 --> 00:12:08,042
But I'm not tired!
I want to go
to the Clam and...
289
00:12:09,078 --> 00:12:10,144
Thank God.
290
00:12:10,213 --> 00:12:12,173
All right,
just switch us all back.
291
00:12:13,917 --> 00:12:15,997
Oh, my God,
the machine's been damaged.
292
00:12:16,853 --> 00:12:18,119
>It's broken.
293
00:12:18,188 --> 00:12:20,587
Swapping four bodies
must've overloaded its system.
294
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,734
If I can't fix it,
we'll be like this forever.
295
00:12:22,758 --> 00:12:24,425
This is a total disaster,
296
00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:26,813
like when the fat man
tried to keep Michael Shannon
297
00:12:26,863 --> 00:12:28,480
from going insane.
298
00:12:30,617 --> 00:12:33,585
Meadows. Snowflakes.
299
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:35,853
Breeze through a cornfield.
300
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:39,641
A soaring bird.
Rain on a metal roof.
301
00:12:39,709 --> 00:12:41,854
Hey, Peter, I'm gonna need you
to fill out your time card.
302
00:12:41,878 --> 00:12:44,129
Yeah, sure, I'll have it
by the end of the day.
303
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,779
♪ ♪
304
00:12:48,084 --> 00:12:49,350
It's okay.
305
00:12:49,419 --> 00:12:52,703
We'll hire new people
and start again tomorrow.
306
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:58,921
We now return to a human hand
307
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,278
rolling a ball of clay.
308
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:01,690
- Yay!
- Yay!
309
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:03,714
Stewie, enough of that.
We have to fix the machine.
310
00:13:05,769 --> 00:13:07,613
Oh, God, the fat man's friends.
311
00:13:07,637 --> 00:13:08,919
What's the black one's name?
312
00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,154
Cleveland.
313
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:12,290
Cleveland, right. Cleveland!
314
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:14,758
Peter, you name-remembering
son of a gun.
315
00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:16,272
Come on, we're heading
down to the Clam.
316
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:20,564
Oh, uh, wish I could, Glenn.
Sure could go for a pomtini.
317
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,167
But, unfortunately,
I've got to help my son Chris
318
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,236
with his homework.
319
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:25,569
Well, if you finish early...
320
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,678
They've all switched bodies.
Let's go.
321
00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:29,207
That was close.
322
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:30,585
All right,
let's get upstairs and fix...
323
00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:32,554
Peter, come in
the kitchen, I need your help.
324
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:34,962
What? Huh?
I'm watching something.
325
00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:37,231
Oh, God, keep him busy.
I'll make this quick.
326
00:13:38,935 --> 00:13:41,080
Hey, I realized I can reach
the animal crackers,
327
00:13:41,104 --> 00:13:43,024
so I'm actually gonna be
a while.
328
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,456
Here, load these in the car.
329
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,825
Are you going away
for a long time?
330
00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:49,793
Oh, darn it. Darn.
331
00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:51,707
Please tell me
you didn't forget.
332
00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:54,476
This is the weekend
we're going to
Dr. Johann's retreat.
333
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,902
Oh, uh, of course. Uh,
remind me what that is again.
334
00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,637
It's the couples' sex seminar
335
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:02,535
where the husband learns
how to give his wife
an orgasm.
336
00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:04,692
Wait, are you saying...
337
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,705
we have to have sex
this weekend?
338
00:14:06,729 --> 00:14:09,080
Yup. All weekend long.
339
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:13,417
Now that's what I call
a curveball.
340
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,288
Commercial!
341
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,697
Peter? Everything okay?
342
00:14:25,765 --> 00:14:27,849
You hardly spoke
the whole car ride.
343
00:14:27,917 --> 00:14:30,351
Uh, I-I was simply thunderstruck
344
00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:33,554
at the prospect
of intercoursing you. Darling.
345
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:39,476
Brian, you've got to help me.
346
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,357
Lois signed us up
for some perverse,
pee-pee-related class
347
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,326
on the female orgasm.
She's crazed.
348
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:45,761
Wow.
349
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,462
You've got to get here with
the machine so I can fix it.
350
00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:49,765
Right. So I can
take your place
in Peter's body.
351
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:50,955
No! Bring everybody.
352
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:52,635
We've got to get things
back to normal.
353
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:54,136
And, hurry, she's all revved up.
354
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,790
45 minutes to Weekapaug.
If we hurry, we can get there
355
00:15:09,859 --> 00:15:11,770
before Stewie's scarred
for life.
356
00:15:11,794 --> 00:15:13,994
Brian, it's only 10:30 a.m.
357
00:15:14,063 --> 00:15:16,364
Why does my body crave alcohol?
358
00:15:16,432 --> 00:15:18,243
That's perfectly normal
for this time of day.
359
00:15:18,267 --> 00:15:21,134
I'm sweating and shaking
and planning out lies.
360
00:15:21,203 --> 00:15:23,181
Yeah, well, why do I have
the overwhelming urge
361
00:15:23,205 --> 00:15:25,373
to eat Cheetos
and masturbate in the woods?
362
00:15:25,441 --> 00:15:27,508
Well, because it's 10:30 a.m.
363
00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:31,345
I like us learning
about each other.
364
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:37,095
Okay, everyone, please put
your bananas and donuts
365
00:15:37,119 --> 00:15:39,637
back on the table.
We're done with that exercise.
366
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:42,690
Next, we'll focus
on the female genitalia.
367
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:45,576
Oh, good Lord!
368
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:48,846
I mean, va-va-voom!
Right, other men?
369
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,062
I'm confused as hell,
370
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,697
but I'm enjoying
these graham crackers,
371
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:56,353
so I'm not gonna say anything.
372
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,638
What the hell was that?
373
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,859
I think that was on purpose.
374
00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:03,772
Oh, you think I forgot
about you?
375
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:07,064
You owe my wife
100 bucks for a lavatory
misunderstanding.
376
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,199
Hey, sugar.
377
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,367
I've never seen you before
in my life.
378
00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:13,070
Yeah, what are you
even talking... Oh, Stewie.
379
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,316
- Aah!
- Aah!
380
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:16,306
Brian, we got
to get out of here.
381
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:18,504
All right, let's have
an inconsistently smashed
382
00:16:18,528 --> 00:16:19,528
windshield chase.
383
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:33,557
♪ ♪
384
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:12,296
Joe, thank God. We need to get
to the Weekapaug Inn, fast.
385
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,681
Can you drive us?
386
00:17:13,750 --> 00:17:15,933
No, no.
387
00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:19,404
Oh, God, Joe's swapped bodies
with Consuela.
388
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:21,039
That must mean...
389
00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:22,418
- Everyone's swapped bodies!
- The whole town
swapped bodies!
390
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:25,092
Damn it, I was gonna say
"the whole town."
391
00:17:25,161 --> 00:17:27,511
I'm standing
here for some reason
392
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:30,815
doing the weather
in a giant black man's body.
393
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,917
What kind of a Friday is this?
394
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:34,063
Freaky!
395
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:35,386
Back to you, Tom.
396
00:17:35,455 --> 00:17:36,916
This just in,
397
00:17:36,940 --> 00:17:40,808
all kids report
to the blue van
in the park at 3:00 p.m.
398
00:17:40,877 --> 00:17:43,110
for free Popsicles!
399
00:17:43,179 --> 00:17:45,896
What the hell?
Am I doing a Madea?
400
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:49,183
Oh, Lord, this time
I'm gonna need a chainsaw.
401
00:17:49,251 --> 00:17:51,611
Don't do it.
Don't do what I was gonna do.
402
00:17:51,637 --> 00:17:54,121
No! No!
403
00:17:54,190 --> 00:17:56,907
You've perverted
something beautiful!
404
00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:00,244
Oh, no!
405
00:18:00,313 --> 00:18:01,656
Oh, yeah!
406
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,498
Ho-ho! Is funny
'cause different voices
407
00:18:04,567 --> 00:18:06,950
are coming out
of different mouths.
408
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,579
Ha-ha!
409
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,796
Wow, what a seminar.
410
00:18:18,864 --> 00:18:21,582
That Dr. Johann
sure knows his stuff.
411
00:18:21,651 --> 00:18:22,700
Get over here.
412
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,068
Ugh! Gross!
413
00:18:24,137 --> 00:18:26,871
I-I mean, uh...
414
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:28,372
Freakin' sweet, Lois.
415
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,541
Uh, one moment while I Desitin
my junk in the bathroom.
416
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:36,024
- Stewie?
- Brian,
where the hell are you?
417
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:38,928
Lois just asked me
if I want to see
her kid's first apartment.
418
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,217
What does that mean, Brian?
419
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:41,964
I'm so frightened and confused.
420
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:43,466
We've got much bigger problems.
421
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:45,756
We hit a telephone pole,
the machine activated,
422
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,636
and it swapped everybody
in town.
423
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:50,539
- Good God.
- We've got to fix this.
424
00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:54,264
Peter, I'm gonna
open the door with no hands.
425
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,737
Listen to me, Brian,
we've got to act quickly.
426
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,183
I'll walk you
through the repairs.
427
00:19:01,207 --> 00:19:02,940
First, open the back panel.
428
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,442
Okay, it's open.
429
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,723
All right, now you
got to reverse
the voltage orientation
430
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:10,047
and amplify the electron flow
to the motherboard.
431
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:12,294
Stewie, just say it in English
or, so help me God,
432
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,296
I will hang up
and make you screw your mom.
433
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,320
Switch the black
and yellow wires!
434
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:21,309
Stewie, I see the wires,
but Chris' pudgy fingers
435
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:22,876
won't fit inside the panel.
436
00:19:22,946 --> 00:19:24,489
Crap.
I do this all the time.
437
00:19:24,513 --> 00:19:25,563
Where's me?
438
00:19:25,615 --> 00:19:27,192
Hey, who installed
this car seat?
439
00:19:27,216 --> 00:19:28,449
It's not even attached.
440
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:32,853
One moment, dearest!
441
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,788
Okay, just use his tiny hands
442
00:19:34,857 --> 00:19:36,897
to switch the black
and yellow wires.
443
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,522
- Okay, got it.
- I helped.
444
00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:41,857
Great. Now we need to find
445
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:43,124
an energy source powerful enough
446
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,660
to match the electrical surge
447
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,362
that swapped the town
in the first place.
448
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,452
According to my GPS,
you're 20 feet
449
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,954
from the base of
the Quahog cell phone tower.
450
00:19:52,574 --> 00:19:53,969
Okay, I think I found it.
451
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:56,038
Now I need you to strap
the body swapper on your back
452
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:57,806
and climb to the top
of the tower.
453
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:58,996
There's no time to waste.
454
00:20:05,588 --> 00:20:08,155
Muncha buncha Fritos!
455
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:10,541
No!
456
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:12,059
Brian, hurry!
457
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:13,560
Stewie, I'm in Chris' body.
458
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:16,280
I'm dragging 230 pounds
of lard up a ladder.
459
00:20:16,348 --> 00:20:18,965
I'm 215, you liberal dickweed!
460
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:24,355
Okay, I'm at the top.
What now?
461
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,434
Now you have
to get struck by lightning.
462
00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:27,458
How do I do that?
463
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,427
You're an atheist.
Offend God.
464
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,223
Say something
you couldn't say on TV.
465
00:20:31,247 --> 00:20:32,263
All right.
466
00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:35,199
Hey, God.
467
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,336
Not me.
468
00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:41,439
You can't say that.
469
00:20:42,508 --> 00:20:44,542
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
470
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:59,573
Oh, God! No! No!
471
00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:19,844
You didn't listen to a word
Dr. Johann said, did you?
472
00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:21,946
No, I did not.
473
00:21:22,015 --> 00:21:24,115
I mean...
474
00:21:24,183 --> 00:21:26,400
The movie Road House.
34325
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