All language subtitles for Family Guy - S16E11 - Dog Bites Bear (Uncensored)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,903 ♪ It seems today that all you see 2 00:00:04,972 --> 00:00:08,240 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV 3 00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:11,843 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values 4 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:14,846 ♪ On which we used to rely? 5 00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:18,217 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy 6 00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:21,469 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do 7 00:00:21,538 --> 00:00:23,188 ♪ All the things that make us 8 00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:24,923 ♪ Laugh and cry 9 00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:30,278 ♪ He's a Family Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:35,919 --> 00:00:37,185 What are you doing to Dad? 11 00:00:37,253 --> 00:00:39,293 What? I'm going to the grocery store. 12 00:00:39,356 --> 00:00:41,623 Okay, you remember Memento? That. 13 00:00:41,692 --> 00:00:43,369 Don't forget the cucumbers, Peter. 14 00:00:43,393 --> 00:00:44,759 All right. Where's that? 15 00:00:44,828 --> 00:00:47,173 Oh, hey, right, 'cause of that thing we started doing. 16 00:00:47,197 --> 00:00:49,731 By the way, speaking of which, best "O" ever. 17 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,811 I felt dirty for an hour, but it's gone now. 18 00:00:51,835 --> 00:00:53,446 Now I just can't wait for night. 19 00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:55,147 I wish you hadn't said that at full volume 20 00:00:55,171 --> 00:00:57,038 in front of our children. 21 00:00:57,107 --> 00:00:59,352 I can't tell if they have a really good marriage 22 00:00:59,376 --> 00:01:00,575 or a really bad one. 23 00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,944 I feel like it's weird but strong. 24 00:01:03,013 --> 00:01:04,513 Like Danny Trejo. 25 00:01:04,581 --> 00:01:06,615 Thank you for noticing. 26 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,473 You ready for movie marathon day, Rupert? 27 00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:17,642 Ah, I was born ready, too. 28 00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:19,555 All right, time for Fast and the Furious 29 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:20,946 one through seven. 30 00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:23,182 All right, let's get fuckin' high. 31 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,045 You can't be high for this, Brian. 32 00:01:25,069 --> 00:01:26,201 This is serious stuff. 33 00:01:26,270 --> 00:01:28,170 This is a 14-hour meditation 34 00:01:28,239 --> 00:01:30,805 on the importance of family, fast cars, 35 00:01:30,875 --> 00:01:34,642 product placement, racial ambiguity, and family. 36 00:01:34,711 --> 00:01:36,422 Where's eight? Didn't that one just come out? 37 00:01:36,446 --> 00:01:38,591 Someone said they were going to get me eight 38 00:01:38,615 --> 00:01:40,215 on Blu-ray for my birthday, 39 00:01:40,284 --> 00:01:42,351 and someone got me a limited edition 40 00:01:42,419 --> 00:01:44,887 Michael Kors pebbled leather tote bag instead. 41 00:01:44,955 --> 00:01:47,033 - You love that bag. - I know. You're the best. 42 00:01:47,057 --> 00:01:48,556 Okay, put in Fast 6. 43 00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:49,892 You're starting with six? 44 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,694 Um, yeah. We're going in order from best to worst. 45 00:01:52,763 --> 00:01:55,430 Six, five, seven, three... I know that's controversial... 46 00:01:55,499 --> 00:01:56,865 one, four, two. 47 00:01:56,934 --> 00:01:58,011 By the way, don't tell Rupert 48 00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:00,068 about Paul Walker being D-E-A-D. 49 00:02:00,137 --> 00:02:01,236 He doesn't know. 50 00:02:03,574 --> 00:02:04,718 All right. So, what's the plot? 51 00:02:04,742 --> 00:02:07,075 Oh, you don't understand these movies. 52 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,513 What was that, Rupert? 53 00:02:11,582 --> 00:02:12,582 Oh, yes. 54 00:02:13,751 --> 00:02:14,751 Yes. 55 00:02:15,318 --> 00:02:16,885 No. 56 00:02:16,953 --> 00:02:18,854 I don't know. Maybe? Maybe bi? 57 00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:22,424 That's Ludacris. That's not Tyrese. 58 00:02:22,493 --> 00:02:24,036 What are you talking about? They look nothing alike. 59 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,772 Ludacris looks like a human peanut, 60 00:02:25,796 --> 00:02:27,128 and Tyrese looks slick. 61 00:02:27,197 --> 00:02:28,930 He looks like a Chinese black. 62 00:02:28,999 --> 00:02:30,932 Like Africa and Asia had sex 63 00:02:31,001 --> 00:02:32,501 while Europe sat on a chair 64 00:02:32,569 --> 00:02:34,414 in the corner of the hotel room and watched. 65 00:02:34,438 --> 00:02:36,971 Ludacris, human peanut. Tyrese, Chinese black. 66 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,951 Are you gonna keep talking like this during the whole thing? 67 00:02:38,975 --> 00:02:40,787 What? I'm answering Rupert's questions. 68 00:02:40,811 --> 00:02:42,255 Now we're gonna have to rewind. 69 00:02:42,279 --> 00:02:44,746 We just missed the scene where half the team steals a tank 70 00:02:44,815 --> 00:02:46,993 while the other half pretends to be a DJ for some reason. 71 00:02:47,017 --> 00:02:48,194 - Damn it. - Yeah, okay. 72 00:02:48,218 --> 00:02:50,096 - I'm going to the bar. - Suit yourself. 73 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:53,338 Rupert and I are just fine without you. 74 00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:54,487 You're right. 75 00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:55,940 I bet he is on his period. 76 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,809 Whatever that means. 77 00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,055 La, la, la, la. Stop, stop, stop. 78 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,357 Gross, gross, gross. Ew, ew, ew. 79 00:03:00,381 --> 00:03:02,464 No, no, no. No. Ew. Ew. 80 00:03:02,532 --> 00:03:04,632 A loaf of bread, a container of milk, 81 00:03:04,701 --> 00:03:06,634 and a stick of butter. 82 00:03:06,703 --> 00:03:08,971 A loaf of milk, a container of bread, 83 00:03:09,039 --> 00:03:10,973 and a Joe Dirt DVD. 84 00:03:11,041 --> 00:03:13,641 A Joe Dirt DVD, Scarlett Johansson, 85 00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:15,277 and treasure from a fish tank. 86 00:03:18,582 --> 00:03:19,759 Attention, shoppers. 87 00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,883 Beloved cereal icon Boo Berry 88 00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:24,452 is now greeting customers in aisle six. 89 00:03:24,521 --> 00:03:25,954 Boo Berry? 90 00:03:26,690 --> 00:03:27,789 The Boo Berry? 91 00:03:27,858 --> 00:03:29,669 Are there imposter Boo Berries? 92 00:03:29,693 --> 00:03:31,125 Hey, watch it. 93 00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:34,396 Oh, Mr. Boo Berry, I'm your biggest fan. 94 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,041 You're not the one threatening me 95 00:03:36,065 --> 00:03:37,109 on Facebook, are you? 96 00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:40,201 No, no. No, not you. Not you. 97 00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:42,315 Hey, you know what I always loved about your cereal? 98 00:03:42,339 --> 00:03:44,005 It tasted like blueberries. 99 00:03:44,073 --> 00:03:45,940 Oh, my God. Boo Berries. 100 00:03:46,009 --> 00:03:47,553 And you're... And you're a ghost. 101 00:03:47,577 --> 00:03:48,921 'Cause... So that's the "boo." 102 00:03:48,945 --> 00:03:51,245 Did you guys know you were doing that? Oh, my God. 103 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:52,792 Anyway, can I shake your hand? 104 00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:53,915 Sure. 105 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:12,984 I've been touched by greatness. 106 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:15,787 I am never washing this hand again. 107 00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:17,300 This is the best thing to happen to me 108 00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:18,957 since I became a wisecracking, 109 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:21,275 fourth-wall-breaking superhero. 110 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:22,577 Call me Redstool. 111 00:04:22,645 --> 00:04:23,956 The treatment didn't give me powers, 112 00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:26,447 but it did spread cancer to my anus. 113 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,767 ♪ Just call me anus 114 00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,769 ♪ Of the morning 115 00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:32,720 ♪ Anus 116 00:04:32,789 --> 00:04:34,322 ♪ Just touch my cheek 117 00:04:34,391 --> 00:04:36,975 ♪ Before you leave me 118 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,894 ♪ Anus 119 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:43,047 ♪ This violence juxtaposed to music 120 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,083 ♪ Anus 121 00:04:45,151 --> 00:04:47,052 ♪ Decapitation 122 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,420 ♪ In slow-motion 123 00:04:49,489 --> 00:04:51,106 ♪ Anus ♪ 124 00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,147 Sorry, Rupert. I think I'm down for the count. 125 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,671 You okay if I go to bed? 126 00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:06,983 Oh, I like that we're comfortable 127 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,506 doing things separately, too. 128 00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:09,607 Good night. 129 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:10,820 Do me a favor and don't wake me 130 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,077 when you come up, though. 131 00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:14,680 Yes, you do. You always step on the creaky board. 132 00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,982 Yes, you do. Every time. 133 00:05:17,051 --> 00:05:18,971 No, you're being a little bitch. 134 00:05:20,670 --> 00:05:22,648 Don't go to bed angry. Don't go to bed angry. 135 00:05:22,672 --> 00:05:24,439 Defuse. Defuse. 136 00:05:25,475 --> 00:05:26,841 Rupert, I'm sorry. 137 00:05:26,910 --> 00:05:28,242 I overreacted. 138 00:05:28,311 --> 00:05:30,244 Now you say you're sorry. 139 00:05:30,313 --> 00:05:32,433 What do you mean, "For what?" I hate you! 140 00:05:35,551 --> 00:05:36,695 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 141 00:05:36,719 --> 00:05:38,586 I love you. I value you. 142 00:05:38,655 --> 00:05:40,332 We're not escalating. It's fine. 143 00:05:40,356 --> 00:05:41,556 I'll see you in the morning. 144 00:05:42,225 --> 00:05:43,225 Good night. 145 00:05:53,069 --> 00:05:55,047 Hi, this is Vin Diesel. 146 00:05:55,071 --> 00:05:57,439 Welcome to the DVD menu. 147 00:05:57,507 --> 00:05:59,318 Why don't you grab yourself a Corona, 148 00:05:59,342 --> 00:06:01,743 hit play, and enjoy the ride. 149 00:06:03,046 --> 00:06:04,946 Hi, this is Vin Diesel. 150 00:06:05,014 --> 00:06:07,248 Welcome to the DVD menu. 151 00:06:07,317 --> 00:06:09,016 Oh, boy, you're hungover. 152 00:06:09,085 --> 00:06:11,125 How are you going to do nothing today? 153 00:06:14,858 --> 00:06:16,090 Oh, my God. 154 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,160 Rupert? 155 00:06:24,768 --> 00:06:26,768 No! Rupert! 156 00:06:26,837 --> 00:06:28,970 Rupert! 157 00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:32,540 Hi, this is Vin Diesel. 158 00:06:32,609 --> 00:06:35,877 Oh, man, did your friend kill your other friend? 159 00:06:35,945 --> 00:06:37,412 That's betrayal. 160 00:06:37,481 --> 00:06:38,946 That's not strong. 161 00:06:39,016 --> 00:06:41,232 Danny Trejo is strong. 162 00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:43,134 Aw. Come on, guys. 163 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:44,669 This is getting embarrassing. 164 00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:59,050 Murderer! You killed Rupert! 165 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:00,296 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 166 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,480 Hey! Hey, what's going on? 167 00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:04,088 You killed my best friend is what's going on! 168 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,491 Oh. Uh-oh. 169 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,059 Bear-killing bastard! 170 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,528 Oh, my God. Stewie, I am so sorry. 171 00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:12,275 I was drunk. It was an accident. 172 00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:14,010 I must have thought he was a chew toy. 173 00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,178 So? If you were driving drunk and ran him over, 174 00:07:16,202 --> 00:07:17,436 would you still go to jail? 175 00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:18,937 Yes! You killed him! 176 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,450 Let me make it up to you, please. 177 00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:22,051 How about you kill something I love? 178 00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:23,308 How about I do that? 179 00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:24,987 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. 180 00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,891 Okay, that's fine. That's fair. 181 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,447 No, I meant, like... like... 182 00:07:28,515 --> 00:07:29,964 like my favorite tennis ball. 183 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,533 You're comparing Rupert to a tennis ball? 184 00:07:32,602 --> 00:07:33,952 What is wrong with you? 185 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,265 No wonder you two never got along. 186 00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,555 He always knew there was something off about you, 187 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:39,669 and now we know what it was. You're a psycho! 188 00:07:39,693 --> 00:07:41,070 - Stewie, I didn't mean to... - Shut up! 189 00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:43,134 - You don't understand. I... - Shut up. 190 00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:45,864 Stop trying. It's over. 191 00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:47,376 Look at me. Watch. See what I'm doing? 192 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,900 Twitter. Unfollow. 193 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,768 Instagram. Unfollow. 194 00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:52,637 Snapchat. Unfollow. 195 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,789 And there we go. Done. 196 00:07:54,857 --> 00:07:56,491 We are not friends anymore. 197 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:57,803 - But, Stewie... - Bye. 198 00:07:57,827 --> 00:08:00,094 Dikembe Mutombo, will you do the thing? 199 00:08:00,163 --> 00:08:02,230 Brian, you are blocked. 200 00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:12,969 Why are you brushing your teeth 201 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,759 with your left hand? 202 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:16,438 Can't risk the right getting wet, Lois. 203 00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:17,629 Boo Berry touched it, 204 00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,809 and it is now a sacred space, like a temple. 205 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,911 Okay. Well, I'm gonna have middle-aged woman, 206 00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:24,055 boobs-falling-off-to-the-side sleep now. 207 00:08:32,495 --> 00:08:33,861 Hey, Chris, have you seen... 208 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,014 What, uh... What are you doing? 209 00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:39,150 Operating my thriving quinceanera dress business. 210 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,763 Do me a favor, stand on that chair? 211 00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:41,853 Uh, okay. 212 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:44,890 So, what's up? 213 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,736 I'm looking for Stewie. He and I had a fight, 214 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,805 and I'm scared he might've done something drastic. 215 00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:49,861 Him? 216 00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,674 You're the one who killed his friend. 217 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,132 Okay, I see he got to you before I did. 218 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,683 It's a stuffed animal, Chris. 219 00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:58,019 Yeah, well, he cremated that stuffed animal, 220 00:08:58,087 --> 00:09:00,922 and he's going to Vermont to scatter the ashes. 221 00:09:00,991 --> 00:09:02,641 What? I got to go after him. 222 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,776 Not until I finish fitting this. 223 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,656 How you feeling? Bueno? Fits good? 224 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,146 This isn't mine. 225 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:10,994 'Cause if it looks great but you don't feel confidente, 226 00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:12,551 I haven't done my job. 227 00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:14,152 Chris, this isn't my dress. 228 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,821 Do you or do you not feel bonita? 229 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:18,757 I feel bonita. 230 00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:21,125 Wonderful, because you look bonita. 231 00:09:21,194 --> 00:09:22,861 Gracias, carina. 232 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:25,163 Puedes recogerlo el miercoles. 233 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,467 Pablo is gonna lose his mind. 234 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:31,804 Mwah. 235 00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:40,111 - Stewie! - Hmm. Well, violent murderers 236 00:09:40,179 --> 00:09:41,591 can often be found at bus stations, 237 00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:42,695 so why am I surprised? 238 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,332 You can't go to Vermont alone. 239 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,467 I'm not. Got Rupert with me. 240 00:09:46,536 --> 00:09:47,735 He and I had an agreement: 241 00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:49,448 if he died first, I would scatter 242 00:09:49,472 --> 00:09:50,716 his ashes on a mountain. 243 00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:53,141 If I died first, he would throw my body whole 244 00:09:53,210 --> 00:09:54,670 into the fountain at the Bellagio. 245 00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:56,072 I don't care. I'm coming with you. 246 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,640 Well, you're not going to sit with me. 247 00:09:57,664 --> 00:09:59,108 Oh, come on. If I don't, I'll get stuck 248 00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,960 next to that guy with the heavy hands. 249 00:10:00,984 --> 00:10:02,550 Hi, doggy. 250 00:10:03,887 --> 00:10:05,153 Serves you right. 251 00:10:05,222 --> 00:10:06,787 And a baby! 252 00:10:35,484 --> 00:10:37,118 I can hear you following me. 253 00:10:37,187 --> 00:10:38,664 - Good. - I swear to God, 254 00:10:38,688 --> 00:10:40,988 do not take one step further, or I will hit you. 255 00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:43,991 That's it! 256 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:47,578 Leave! Me! Alone! Murderer! 257 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,192 Stewie, stop! Stop, all right? 258 00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:51,494 Look, why are you being such a jerk over a stupid bear? 259 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:53,284 Don't you disrespect the dead! 260 00:10:59,376 --> 00:11:00,391 Ah! 261 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:03,796 Ah! 262 00:11:05,231 --> 00:11:07,348 He's not dead! He was never alive! 263 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,733 You take those words back! 264 00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:10,980 He wouldn't care! He didn't hear them! He's a doll! 265 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,353 He was my best friend! 266 00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:15,918 I'm supposed to be your best friend. 267 00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:17,108 Well, you're not! 268 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,511 You're a bloodthirsty, cold-hearted murderer! 269 00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:20,745 Fine. You're right. 270 00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,492 You know what? It wasn't an accident. 271 00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,015 I knew he wasn't a chew toy. 272 00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,061 I was sick of you talking to him all the time. 273 00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:27,830 I was sick of you complaining to him about me 274 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,231 when I'm right there in the room. 275 00:11:29,255 --> 00:11:30,700 And I was sick of always playing 276 00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,123 second fiddle to that bear! 277 00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,108 He's not even real! 278 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:36,344 You did it... 279 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,446 on purpose? 280 00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:51,376 Stewie! 281 00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:54,812 Oh, my God, Stewie! 282 00:11:57,483 --> 00:11:59,563 Ah, I didn't know we were blowing it up. 283 00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:11,228 Rupert! Where... 284 00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:13,080 Oh, there you are. 285 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,727 - Stewie, you're hurt. - It's just my ankle. 286 00:12:14,751 --> 00:12:16,929 - It's not a big deal. - It's already swelling up. 287 00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,597 - Just let me... - Back off! 288 00:12:18,621 --> 00:12:20,661 I'm doing this on my own. For Rupert. 289 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,410 Damn it, Stewie, just... 290 00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:27,779 just sit there, will ya? 291 00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:28,980 I'll get us up. 292 00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:32,033 I don't want your help. 293 00:12:32,102 --> 00:12:34,102 Well, you need it, so it's happening. 294 00:12:37,223 --> 00:12:39,501 This isn't going to make me forgive you, you know. 295 00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:42,137 - That's fine. - I'm going to say uncomplimentary things 296 00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:44,763 - about your ass the whole way. - Go ahead. 297 00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:47,543 You know, maybe it's appropriate that you're my ride up. 298 00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:49,801 Rupert always called you my bitch. 299 00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:51,781 Want to know some of the other things he called you? 300 00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,138 Fat Lassie. 301 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,305 Scooby-Don't. 302 00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:55,840 Rin Tin Twink. 303 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,208 Poopy Snoopy. 304 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,576 Marma-dookie. 305 00:12:58,645 --> 00:13:01,312 Clifford the Big Red Sphincter That We See All the Time 306 00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:03,359 Because You Don't Put Your Tail Down. 307 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:04,649 Snoop Doggy Dick. 308 00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:10,021 Hey, guys. 309 00:13:16,179 --> 00:13:18,479 - What the hell is that? - My Boo Berry hand. 310 00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:20,159 I swore I'd never wash it again, 311 00:13:20,183 --> 00:13:21,727 even though Lois keeps telling me to. 312 00:13:21,751 --> 00:13:23,117 You should listen to her. 313 00:13:23,186 --> 00:13:24,730 Yeah, Peter, that's disgusting. 314 00:13:24,754 --> 00:13:26,594 - Oh, yeah? Take that! - Ah! 315 00:13:26,622 --> 00:13:28,990 That started happening yesterday. 316 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:31,092 To the bathroom! 317 00:13:31,161 --> 00:13:32,871 We got to get him to wash that hand. 318 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,228 Yeah. I'll text Lois, 319 00:13:34,297 --> 00:13:36,275 see if we can't all come up with something. 320 00:13:36,299 --> 00:13:37,943 Just reply to that last GIF she sent 321 00:13:37,967 --> 00:13:39,711 of the sloth putting on the headphones. 322 00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,803 I love that one. 323 00:13:42,872 --> 00:13:44,450 Is it weird that we're in a group text 324 00:13:44,474 --> 00:13:46,519 with our friend's wife but not our friend? 325 00:13:46,543 --> 00:13:48,976 No, what's weird is that your Bitmoji can walk. 326 00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:51,446 I'm allowed to have legs in the phone world! 327 00:13:58,821 --> 00:14:00,266 You know, once we're done here, 328 00:14:00,290 --> 00:14:01,767 I'm never speaking to you again. 329 00:14:01,791 --> 00:14:03,269 Well, how the hell was I supposed to know 330 00:14:03,293 --> 00:14:04,670 it was gonna upset you so much? 331 00:14:04,694 --> 00:14:06,660 How? How? 332 00:14:06,729 --> 00:14:09,097 You saw me spend almost every single minute 333 00:14:09,165 --> 00:14:11,966 of every single day with Rupert since I was born! 334 00:14:12,034 --> 00:14:13,679 And you don't... up, up, hang on, hang on. 335 00:14:13,703 --> 00:14:14,835 Another hiker going by. 336 00:14:14,904 --> 00:14:16,482 One of us is going the wrong way. Heh. 337 00:14:16,506 --> 00:14:19,140 Ha-ha-ha! When are they gonna put in the elevator, right? 338 00:14:19,209 --> 00:14:20,774 Ha-ha-ha. 339 00:14:20,843 --> 00:14:23,438 I loved Rupert! He was the most important thing in my life, 340 00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:25,796 and you willfully violated the sanctity and trust 341 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:28,066 of our friendship when you destroyed him! 342 00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:30,301 Stewie... I just don't get it. 343 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,114 You're so mature in so many ways. 344 00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:34,150 You're... you're the smartest person in the house. 345 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,539 You're incredibly perceptive. 346 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,376 You're wiser than people 40 times your age. 347 00:14:38,444 --> 00:14:41,212 Why is Rupert the one baby thing you're hanging on to? 348 00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:43,059 Why are you so upset over a doll 349 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,777 when I'm real and I'm still here? 350 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:47,435 Because Rupert was going to be with me forever! 351 00:14:47,503 --> 00:14:49,169 He wasn't ever going to leave! 352 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,585 So what? I'm not leaving you, either. 353 00:14:52,609 --> 00:14:54,604 Oh, really? Brian, let's be honest. 354 00:14:54,628 --> 00:14:56,160 You're a middle-aged dog. 355 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,707 You don't have that many years left. 356 00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,097 And one day, all too soon, I'm gonna be crying 357 00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:02,077 at your funeral in an Armani suit, 358 00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,879 and people are gonna be like, "Oh, nice suit," 359 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,248 and I'm gonna be like, "Why are you talking 360 00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:08,306 "about my awesome $2,000 suit? My friend's dead!" 361 00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:11,036 Feels like that story is less about me and more about your suit. 362 00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:13,494 Go to hell! Besides, if you don't believe 363 00:15:13,563 --> 00:15:16,030 Rupert was real, why are you so jealous of him? 364 00:15:16,098 --> 00:15:18,249 Why does it bother you how upset I am? 365 00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:19,650 That... 366 00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,152 is a very good point. 367 00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:24,321 Damn right it is, you joyless, fake-wisdom-spouting... 368 00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:27,036 Hey. Heh. When are they gonna put in the elevator, right? Heh. 369 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,293 Yeah. That other guy said that to me. 370 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:30,362 Nice shorts. 371 00:15:35,485 --> 00:15:37,463 For the record, I would have preferred 372 00:15:37,487 --> 00:15:39,119 to dress as Frankenburry. 373 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:41,367 - That doesn't make any sense. - And this does? 374 00:15:41,391 --> 00:15:43,511 If anything, we all three should've been 375 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,393 Snap, Crackle, and Pop. 376 00:15:45,462 --> 00:15:47,962 Yeah, we missed an opportunity there. 377 00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,842 - It's fine. - We did this wrong! 378 00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:52,226 Joe, it's fine. It's... Cleveland, just ring the bell. 379 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:55,286 Oh, I wonder who that could be. 380 00:15:55,355 --> 00:15:56,654 I'll get it. 381 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,224 Oh, my God! 382 00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:01,391 Count Chocula! 383 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:02,593 That's right. 384 00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:06,530 Silly rabbit, Count Chocula tastes great! 385 00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:08,559 Oh, it's an honor to meet you, sir. 386 00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:12,687 Ah! 387 00:16:12,755 --> 00:16:14,567 - What's happening? - We got you, Peter. 388 00:16:14,591 --> 00:16:16,302 Yeah, there's a golf ball scrubber in there. 389 00:16:16,326 --> 00:16:17,658 Just relax and let it happen. 390 00:16:17,727 --> 00:16:19,159 No! No! 391 00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:21,429 My miraculous tiny life-forms! 392 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:41,332 Where are we going, Father? 393 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:43,501 To a place better than this, son. 394 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:46,925 Yay! 395 00:17:00,135 --> 00:17:02,035 Well, Rupert, we made it. 396 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,437 It's beautiful up here. 397 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,907 So should... should we just... 398 00:17:06,976 --> 00:17:08,787 sprinkle him around randomly, or... 399 00:17:08,811 --> 00:17:11,056 Oh, don't be a savage, Brian. What is your problem? 400 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,080 We have to have the ceremony first. 401 00:17:14,650 --> 00:17:16,184 Dearest Rupert, 402 00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:18,052 we're here. 403 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:19,887 I never wanted this to happen, 404 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,389 and it happened far, far too soon. 405 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:23,691 But... 406 00:17:23,759 --> 00:17:25,359 I can't. 407 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:27,028 You... you do it. 408 00:17:27,763 --> 00:17:28,930 Wha... What? 409 00:17:28,998 --> 00:17:31,882 You give the eulogy. I'm too upset. I can't. 410 00:17:31,951 --> 00:17:33,284 What am I supposed to say? 411 00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:35,852 I don't know, Just... just tell the truth. 412 00:17:35,921 --> 00:17:38,755 Let Rupert know how important he is. 413 00:17:39,408 --> 00:17:40,807 Okay, um... 414 00:17:42,077 --> 00:17:43,844 Rupert was 415 00:17:43,912 --> 00:17:45,613 a great bear, 416 00:17:45,681 --> 00:17:48,015 uh, a great, uh... 417 00:17:48,083 --> 00:17:50,384 - Power bottom. - Right, right, okay. 418 00:17:50,453 --> 00:17:54,188 But most importantly of all, he was a great friend. 419 00:17:54,257 --> 00:17:56,957 He was always there whenever Stewie needed him. 420 00:17:57,026 --> 00:17:59,126 He was understanding. 421 00:17:59,195 --> 00:18:01,128 He always listened. 422 00:18:01,197 --> 00:18:03,037 He made Stewie a better person. 423 00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:05,932 Stewie... 424 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:07,901 and I are both... 425 00:18:07,970 --> 00:18:10,937 incredibly grateful for all the time we had with you, 426 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:14,208 and we wouldn't change a single moment. 427 00:18:14,277 --> 00:18:16,377 Except the end. Sorry about that. 428 00:18:16,445 --> 00:18:18,579 Um, rest in peace, Rupert. 429 00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:30,992 Thank you, Brian. 430 00:18:31,761 --> 00:18:32,894 That was... 431 00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,396 That was beautiful. 432 00:18:36,966 --> 00:18:39,700 ♪ How do I 433 00:18:39,769 --> 00:18:42,703 ♪ Say good-bye 434 00:18:42,772 --> 00:18:46,507 ♪ To what we had? 435 00:18:47,309 --> 00:18:49,376 ♪ The good times 436 00:18:49,445 --> 00:18:52,212 ♪ That made us laugh 437 00:18:52,281 --> 00:18:55,482 ♪ Outweigh the bad 438 00:18:57,954 --> 00:19:00,287 ♪ I thought 439 00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:03,323 ♪ We'd get to see forever 440 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,827 ♪ But forever's 441 00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:09,597 ♪ Gone away 442 00:19:10,533 --> 00:19:13,300 ♪ It's so hard 443 00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:16,470 ♪ To say good-bye 444 00:19:16,539 --> 00:19:20,074 -♪ To yesterday -♪ To yesterday 445 00:19:20,142 --> 00:19:21,776 ♪ Go up there, Brian ♪ 446 00:19:21,844 --> 00:19:24,078 Okay, Brian, now pour it out. 447 00:19:24,146 --> 00:19:26,291 - What? - Pour it out, whatever you have. 448 00:19:26,315 --> 00:19:27,514 Pour it out. 449 00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:29,862 I have a Gatorade bottle full of pee from the bus. 450 00:19:29,886 --> 00:19:31,452 Pour it out for Rupert. 451 00:19:44,366 --> 00:19:47,668 - ♪ I don't know -♪ Ooh 452 00:19:47,736 --> 00:19:48,869 ♪ Where this road ♪ 453 00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:51,305 You're with Paul now, Rupert! 454 00:19:51,373 --> 00:19:53,140 -♪ Is going -♪ Ooh, ooh 455 00:19:53,209 --> 00:19:56,443 -♪ To lead -♪ Ooh 456 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,747 ♪ All I know 457 00:20:00,816 --> 00:20:04,218 ♪ Is where we've been 458 00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,203 ♪ And what we've been through 459 00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:08,155 ♪ Ooh 460 00:20:08,224 --> 00:20:11,325 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh 461 00:20:11,393 --> 00:20:14,245 ♪ If we get 462 00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:16,948 ♪ To see tomorrow 463 00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:18,749 ♪ Oh, oh, oh 464 00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,685 ♪ I hope it's worth 465 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:22,803 ♪ All the wait 466 00:20:22,872 --> 00:20:24,888 ♪ Ah, ah 467 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:27,791 ♪ It's so hard 468 00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:29,360 ♪ To say good-bye 469 00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:31,144 ♪ Bye 470 00:20:31,213 --> 00:20:32,546 ♪ To yesterday 471 00:20:32,615 --> 00:20:34,815 ♪ Day 472 00:20:36,185 --> 00:20:38,485 Rupert! You've come back to me! 473 00:20:38,554 --> 00:20:41,472 ♪ And I'll take 474 00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:44,224 ♪ With me the memories 475 00:20:44,293 --> 00:20:46,193 ♪ The memories 476 00:20:46,262 --> 00:20:48,628 ♪ To be my sunshine 477 00:20:48,697 --> 00:20:51,999 ♪ After the rain 478 00:20:52,068 --> 00:20:55,035 ♪ It's so hard 479 00:20:55,104 --> 00:20:58,222 ♪ To say good-bye 480 00:20:58,290 --> 00:20:59,907 ♪ To yesterday 481 00:20:59,975 --> 00:21:02,676 ♪ Day ♪ 34107

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