All language subtitles for Family Guy - S16E08 - Crimes and Meg s Demeanor (Uncensored)

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:04,536 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:08,007 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:08,075 --> 00:00:11,676 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:14,579 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:17,949 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:21,303 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,371 --> 00:00:23,121 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:24,856 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:29,895 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:38,069 Hey, Meg. What are you up to? 11 00:00:38,138 --> 00:00:40,405 Not much. Just finished an angel food cake. 12 00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:41,940 Might go out to the trash, 13 00:00:42,008 --> 00:00:43,453 see if there's any possums to kiss. 14 00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:44,909 I was just out there. 15 00:00:46,830 --> 00:00:48,590 Oh, come on, it's your senior year. 16 00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,577 Somebody must be having a party or something. 17 00:00:50,601 --> 00:00:53,668 Well, there's one. But... I wasn't invited. 18 00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:55,153 Well, so what? Go crash it. 19 00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,622 Nah. Not my style. And what do you care? 20 00:00:57,691 --> 00:01:00,525 Do you want the TV or something? 21 00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:04,062 What? No, no. I want... I want to see you have fun. 22 00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:06,782 Come on, you should go, you know? Let loose a little. 23 00:01:06,850 --> 00:01:08,784 You know what? You're right. 24 00:01:08,852 --> 00:01:10,769 Maybe I will give it a shot. 25 00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,404 Yeah. How awkward could it be? 26 00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,117 Can't be worse than waving at someone 27 00:01:14,141 --> 00:01:15,540 who doesn't wave back at you. 28 00:01:19,229 --> 00:01:21,262 - No, not you. - Oh. Sorry. 29 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,131 In fact, everyone but you. 30 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,666 Hi, everyone but him! 31 00:01:24,735 --> 00:01:25,834 Hi! 32 00:01:30,140 --> 00:01:33,408 Lou, I like you a lot, but I-I think that's the last tape 33 00:01:33,476 --> 00:01:35,977 of you having sex with your girlfriend I want to see. 34 00:01:36,046 --> 00:01:37,245 Suit yourself. 35 00:01:37,313 --> 00:01:39,514 All right, I got to get over to my mom's wake. 36 00:01:39,583 --> 00:01:42,050 Oh, right, yeah. Crap. Ugh. Sorry again. 37 00:01:42,118 --> 00:01:44,019 - Oof. Cancer. - Car accident. 38 00:01:44,087 --> 00:01:45,687 No, I know, I just, I'm... 39 00:01:45,756 --> 00:01:48,523 saying it feels like everyone's getting cancer. 40 00:01:48,592 --> 00:01:49,824 You know, Bowie. 41 00:01:55,131 --> 00:01:57,866 Time to get creepay... 42 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:02,104 Huh. Kid family. 43 00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:14,466 What a scumbag. 44 00:02:18,822 --> 00:02:20,055 Aw... 45 00:02:21,659 --> 00:02:23,570 Because I'm working all day! 46 00:02:23,594 --> 00:02:26,695 Oh, yeah? Well, here's what I think of your stupid work! 47 00:02:26,764 --> 00:02:28,263 Don't you do that! 48 00:02:28,331 --> 00:02:29,931 Fiona, don't you... 49 00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:34,152 Is that Principal Shepherd? 50 00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:37,088 Wow, that looks like a rocky relationship. 51 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,824 "Rocky relationship." 52 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:42,510 Ha-ha! 53 00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:47,999 Oh, come on, Brian. 54 00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:49,401 Don't comment or like it. 55 00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:52,053 It's a hard lesson, but one he has to learn. 56 00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:08,187 All right, ladies, time to mingle. 57 00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:11,056 Hey. You guys talking Big Bang over here? 58 00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:12,391 Big Bang Theory? 59 00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:14,959 No? Any Bangers over here? 60 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,144 No? 61 00:03:16,213 --> 00:03:17,579 Well, I've tried everything. 62 00:03:17,648 --> 00:03:20,199 We just don't have anything in common with these guys. 63 00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:24,503 Maybe... we don't need anything in common with them. 64 00:03:27,675 --> 00:03:29,808 Meg, come on, don't go crazy. 65 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,343 Damn, that's hot! 66 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,181 - That was just lucky. - Oh, yeah? 67 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:43,889 Wow! Meg's so good at casually tossing bottles 68 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,668 over her shoulder so they land upright! 69 00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,203 And that's very popular right now, 70 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,311 because we've run out of things on Earth. 71 00:03:49,379 --> 00:03:51,947 Meg, that was amazing! 72 00:03:52,015 --> 00:03:54,349 What can I say? I'm full of surprises. 73 00:03:54,417 --> 00:03:56,368 Like the end of The Usual Suspects. 74 00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,120 ♪ ♪ 75 00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:05,943 He was gay the whole time! 76 00:04:09,933 --> 00:04:12,367 ♪ Boughs of holly Rockin' around... ♪ 77 00:04:12,435 --> 00:04:14,014 Okay, they're obviously home. 78 00:04:14,038 --> 00:04:16,271 You'd have to be dumb to try to rob that place. 79 00:04:19,275 --> 00:04:20,575 Oh, yes! 80 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,469 I hate the guy, but he's good. 81 00:04:39,646 --> 00:04:41,079 Oh, my God. 82 00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:43,682 What the... what the hell is going on over there? 83 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:46,518 Did he... 84 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:48,665 - Hello. - - Hey, Stewie, it's me. 85 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,855 - You got a second? - Brian? Hang on. 86 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,636 Hey, keep it down, you screwballs. 87 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,487 Here, let me just go somewhere a little quieter. 88 00:04:54,511 --> 00:04:57,195 Oh, yeah, right. I'm the screwball. 89 00:04:57,247 --> 00:04:59,281 You and friends say "screwball" a lot. 90 00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:01,700 That's what happens when you run with a screwy crowd. 91 00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:04,235 - What's up with you? - Stewie, I think... 92 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:06,554 I think Principal Shepherd killed his wife. 93 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,134 What? What are you talking about? 94 00:05:08,158 --> 00:05:10,225 I think I saw him getting rid of her body. 95 00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:12,327 And carrying a bag with something heavy in it. 96 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,763 And... and there was red liquid dripping from it. 97 00:05:14,831 --> 00:05:16,442 Okay, I've got to see this for myself. 98 00:05:16,466 --> 00:05:18,277 Don't do anything. I'm coming over. 99 00:05:18,301 --> 00:05:19,645 Hey, listen, you-you don't think... 100 00:05:19,669 --> 00:05:21,614 you don't think you could snag a couple of rolls 101 00:05:21,638 --> 00:05:22,904 of toilet paper, could you? 102 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,275 - Stewie? - I'm here. I just wanted you 103 00:05:27,344 --> 00:05:29,344 to have to sit with those words for a minute. 104 00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:34,649 Kids, dinner's ready! 105 00:05:34,717 --> 00:05:35,984 "Dinner's ready." 106 00:05:36,052 --> 00:05:37,351 Shut up. 107 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,921 Little of the old schnappster ought to get me right. 108 00:05:41,491 --> 00:05:43,591 'Ey... Chrissay! 109 00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:46,161 Well, that's delightfully informal, Meg. 110 00:05:46,229 --> 00:05:47,612 How the heck are ya? 111 00:05:51,301 --> 00:05:53,113 So, what are you kids doing in school? 112 00:05:53,137 --> 00:05:55,470 I got in trouble for saying something "insensitive" 113 00:05:55,538 --> 00:05:56,788 to trans kids. 114 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,923 - What'd you say? - Well, a few them started 115 00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,237 this a cappella group, and they're all kind of chubby. 116 00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:03,728 So I said, "You guys should call yourselves 117 00:06:03,797 --> 00:06:05,296 the Trans Fats." 118 00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:08,233 Meg, you'll sit next to me this evening. 119 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:09,946 - But, Dad... - I'm sorry, Chris. 120 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,303 You've fallen out of favor. Perhaps forever. 121 00:06:18,094 --> 00:06:19,705 Oh, Stewie, thank God you're here. 122 00:06:19,729 --> 00:06:21,747 There's a seagull in your hallway. 123 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,081 Listen, what are we gonna do 124 00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:25,033 about this Principal Shepherd thing? 125 00:06:25,102 --> 00:06:27,969 Look, all you know is that the guy was carrying a wet bag. 126 00:06:28,038 --> 00:06:29,548 It doesn't mean he killed his wife. 127 00:06:29,572 --> 00:06:31,484 You're building this whole theory... 128 00:06:31,508 --> 00:06:34,209 - What is that noise? - It's a news alert. 129 00:06:34,277 --> 00:06:37,678 "Fiona Shepherd, wife of James Woods High School principal 130 00:06:37,747 --> 00:06:40,615 John Shepherd, has been reported missing." 131 00:06:40,683 --> 00:06:42,717 Oh, my God, maybe he did do it. 132 00:06:42,785 --> 00:06:44,985 You know, there are some bad people in this world. 133 00:06:45,022 --> 00:06:46,399 Hey, you don't got to tell me that. 134 00:06:46,423 --> 00:06:48,239 I learned that in Fight Club. 135 00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:51,009 All right, Stewie, what's the first rule of Fight Club? 136 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,644 G-string underwear. 137 00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:55,013 No. It's "don't talk about Fight Club." 138 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,181 Oh. Well, I really blew it. 139 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:06,424 Hey-o! What's up in this piece? 140 00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:07,959 You're getting home late. 141 00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:10,161 Yeah. We were hanging out in the woods, and... 142 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:15,333 this one girl pushed another girl over 143 00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:16,768 while she was peeing. 144 00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:18,770 They fought, and then the cops came. 145 00:07:18,838 --> 00:07:20,538 Meg, this is important. 146 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,157 Did she fall in the pee? 147 00:07:22,225 --> 00:07:23,524 I can smell your breath. 148 00:07:23,593 --> 00:07:25,304 You've been drinking, haven't you? 149 00:07:25,328 --> 00:07:29,363 No! Geez, Mom, get off my back. 150 00:07:29,432 --> 00:07:31,332 Peter, I think she's doing booze. 151 00:07:31,401 --> 00:07:32,567 What should we do? 152 00:07:32,635 --> 00:07:34,335 Lois, she's just being a teenager. 153 00:07:34,404 --> 00:07:35,636 We don't know she's, like, 154 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:37,349 for sure, definitely been drinking. 155 00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:39,140 I found this in her room. 156 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,725 My little girl's a drunk! 157 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:44,262 Oh, my God, where did we go wrong? 158 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,670 Meg, we need to talk. 159 00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,972 What, Mom? But I know what you're gonna say, 160 00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:56,635 and I know how you're gonna say it. 161 00:07:56,659 --> 00:07:58,159 - Oh, really? - Yep. 162 00:07:58,228 --> 00:07:59,538 I don't want you drinkin' 163 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,763 or your life's gonna go down the crappah. 164 00:08:01,832 --> 00:08:03,631 That's not bad. 165 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,767 I-I mean, I sound nothing like that, 166 00:08:05,836 --> 00:08:08,970 but it's a fun character. Heh. But this is serious. 167 00:08:09,039 --> 00:08:10,972 Alcoholism runs in our family. 168 00:08:11,041 --> 00:08:13,519 Hey, I'm just glad something runs in this family. 169 00:08:15,145 --> 00:08:16,778 I don't mean to... 170 00:08:16,847 --> 00:08:19,497 I-I don't mean to laugh, okay? But that was funny. 171 00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,148 Mom, I'm just having fun. 172 00:08:21,217 --> 00:08:23,985 I'm finally known as something other than "the chubby girl 173 00:08:24,054 --> 00:08:25,954 who put the lunch lady in a headlock." 174 00:08:26,022 --> 00:08:27,822 And besides, Dad's the one 175 00:08:27,891 --> 00:08:29,519 who pushed me into going to that party. 176 00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:31,208 Oh, he did, did he? 177 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,523 Son of a bitch. What was that? 178 00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:37,198 I don't know. Someone must've messed something up. 179 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:39,412 Listen, you need to talk to Meg about her drinking. 180 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,602 What? Why me? 181 00:08:40,671 --> 00:08:42,081 Because you're the one who told her 182 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:43,971 to start going to these parties. 183 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,407 Okay, fine. 184 00:08:45,475 --> 00:08:47,509 I guess it's just something I got to deal with. 185 00:08:47,577 --> 00:08:49,777 Like the flush of a high-powered toilet. 186 00:08:58,554 --> 00:09:01,606 So, you plan on going back at that banana, huh? 187 00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:03,319 So the bastard killed his wife, 188 00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:04,976 and then reported her missing. 189 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,011 I-I got to... I got to call the cops. 190 00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,266 - Quahog Police. - Joe, Joe, it's Brian. 191 00:09:11,334 --> 00:09:12,978 Listen, I have to tell you something. 192 00:09:13,002 --> 00:09:16,103 I-I'm pretty sure Principal Shepherd killed his wife. 193 00:09:16,173 --> 00:09:18,706 That's a serious accusation. Do you have any proof? 194 00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,875 I have something better than proof: 195 00:09:20,943 --> 00:09:23,844 rank suspicion born out of boredom and loneliness. 196 00:09:23,913 --> 00:09:26,181 Sorry, that's just not enough for us to go on. 197 00:09:26,249 --> 00:09:29,617 You must be pretty tired from thinking about all this. 198 00:09:29,686 --> 00:09:32,126 - You ever get bags under your eyes? - What? 199 00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:33,832 I've been using this eye cream, 200 00:09:33,856 --> 00:09:35,122 it's done wonders for me. 201 00:09:35,192 --> 00:09:37,525 It's made by a company called Rodan and Fields. 202 00:09:37,594 --> 00:09:38,926 Have you heard of them, Brian? 203 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,196 - Yeah, I-I think, uh... - Oh, they make terrific stuff. 204 00:09:41,264 --> 00:09:42,863 In fact, I was such a fan, 205 00:09:42,932 --> 00:09:45,166 I became a sales consultant for the company. 206 00:09:45,235 --> 00:09:46,467 Listen, Joe, I got to run. 207 00:09:46,536 --> 00:09:48,347 I'm hosting a little get-together tomorrow night, 208 00:09:48,371 --> 00:09:51,005 if you want to stop by. There's gonna be pizza 209 00:09:51,074 --> 00:09:52,139 and soft drinks, 210 00:09:52,209 --> 00:09:54,442 then a man's gonna talk about the whole line. 211 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,611 Can I go ahead and confirm your attendance? 212 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,257 Well, that was no help. 213 00:09:58,281 --> 00:10:00,198 What if I go over there and try to find 214 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,467 some evidence that he did it? 215 00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,279 All right, fine. But you have to be careful. 216 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:06,237 Don't worry. he won't have any idea. I'll be more discreet 217 00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:08,857 than a guy standing by himself in the ocean. 218 00:10:10,793 --> 00:10:12,526 - Hey, are you peeing? - No. 219 00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:14,495 Are you pooping? 220 00:10:14,564 --> 00:10:16,175 I'm just trying to enjoy the day. 221 00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:17,944 Why don't you go bother that guy? 222 00:10:17,968 --> 00:10:19,800 Summer's blown by, huh? 223 00:10:23,973 --> 00:10:25,940 So, your mom says you've been drinking. 224 00:10:26,009 --> 00:10:27,419 Yeah, like, a little bit, but... 225 00:10:27,443 --> 00:10:29,155 but it's nothing you have to worry about. 226 00:10:29,179 --> 00:10:31,179 Look, I-I was young, too, you know. 227 00:10:31,247 --> 00:10:34,481 I-I remember going to parties, walking up with a six pack. 228 00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:37,484 You're so excited to get there you start jogging a little. 229 00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:40,154 Your friends are all there, and they're so happy to see you, 230 00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:41,901 they're practically cheering your name. 231 00:10:41,925 --> 00:10:44,658 And then "Mony Mony" comes on at just the right time. 232 00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,127 And everyone's dancing, 233 00:10:46,196 --> 00:10:48,963 and-and Laura Hallston's jugs are just slamming into you. 234 00:10:49,032 --> 00:10:50,442 You don't have a care in the world, 235 00:10:50,466 --> 00:10:51,844 and if all of it came to an end 236 00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,901 right then and there, so be it. 237 00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:55,302 Well, you're my daughter, 238 00:10:55,371 --> 00:10:58,056 and I don't want any of that for you. 239 00:10:58,124 --> 00:10:59,869 Hey, you want to see where I was sitting 240 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,392 when you were born? 241 00:11:05,031 --> 00:11:07,532 Yeah, I still think about Laura a lot. 242 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,734 You were already drinking tonight, weren't you? 243 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:11,202 A little. 244 00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:13,538 Well, I can't talk to a drunk person if I'm sober. 245 00:11:13,606 --> 00:11:15,757 Hey, Jerome, can I get a beer, please? 246 00:11:15,825 --> 00:11:18,159 But now I'm starting to sober up, 247 00:11:18,227 --> 00:11:21,028 so I'm gonna need one to keep an even playing field. 248 00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,197 All right, but it stays between us. 249 00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:24,632 And what if they card you? 250 00:11:24,701 --> 00:11:26,033 Don't worry. I got it covered. 251 00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,022 Wow. That's really good. 252 00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:33,725 Right?! Jerome, make it two! 253 00:11:36,879 --> 00:11:39,898 ♪ My girl wants to party all the time ♪ 254 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:43,801 ♪ Party all the time, party all the time ♪ 255 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:47,072 ♪ My girl wants to party all the time ♪ 256 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,924 ♪ Party all the time ♪ 257 00:11:58,452 --> 00:12:00,668 ♪ I buy you champagne and roses ♪ 258 00:12:00,737 --> 00:12:02,587 ♪ Put diamonds on your finger ♪ 259 00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,355 ♪ Diamonds on your finger ♪ 260 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:05,956 ♪ Party all the time ♪ 261 00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:08,193 ♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 262 00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,512 ♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪ 263 00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:13,497 ♪ My girl wants to party all the time ♪ 264 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:17,401 ♪ Party all the time ♪ 265 00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:18,970 ♪ Yeah. ♪ 266 00:12:26,062 --> 00:12:28,863 All right, he's gone. Now, if I give the word, 267 00:12:28,932 --> 00:12:30,242 you've got to get out of there, okay? 268 00:12:30,266 --> 00:12:31,699 Got it. 269 00:12:31,768 --> 00:12:33,400 Oh, my God! 270 00:12:33,469 --> 00:12:34,752 What? What is it? 271 00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:36,387 He sleeps in a bunk bed! 272 00:12:36,455 --> 00:12:38,267 Are you kidding me?! Who is this guy?! 273 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,557 Wait a second. Is that...? 274 00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:42,371 Bri, I'm gonna put you down for a sec. 275 00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:43,560 Stewie, no! Don't. 276 00:12:50,236 --> 00:12:51,536 Stewie, get out of there! 277 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,404 Stewie! Stewie! 278 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:56,290 Got to get his attention. 279 00:12:57,794 --> 00:12:59,226 Man, just short. 280 00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:04,048 Oh, God. 281 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,479 Domino's. 282 00:13:18,548 --> 00:13:19,681 Oh, good. 283 00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:23,201 Medium pie, ten wings. 284 00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:25,214 Is the blue cheese dressing in there? 285 00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,682 Thanks a lot. Have a good one. 286 00:13:33,512 --> 00:13:34,745 Mmm. 287 00:13:42,338 --> 00:13:44,338 He got out! Ha, ha! Yes, Stewie! 288 00:13:56,853 --> 00:13:58,235 Oh, crap. 289 00:13:58,304 --> 00:14:00,038 Oh, my, that was close. 290 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,957 Stewie, he saw you! He saw you leaving his apartment! 291 00:14:03,025 --> 00:14:05,293 Oh. Well... so what? 292 00:14:05,361 --> 00:14:07,201 He doesn't know what we're doing. 293 00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:12,467 What? What is it? 294 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,120 Well, that's... 295 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,889 that's not good. 296 00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,567 Dad? Dad, wake up! 297 00:14:30,636 --> 00:14:32,381 - Huh? What happened? - I don't know! 298 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,116 We must have stolen this boat last night. 299 00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:36,123 I-I have no idea where the hell we are! 300 00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:40,094 Oh, no, my cell phone's dead! 301 00:14:40,163 --> 00:14:41,807 I got a little bit of juice left, 302 00:14:41,831 --> 00:14:43,798 so we can either A, call someone, 303 00:14:43,867 --> 00:14:45,678 maybe they answer, maybe they can help, 304 00:14:45,702 --> 00:14:48,335 or B, we can definitely switch faces. 305 00:14:49,339 --> 00:14:51,739 Look at you! Look at me! 306 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,825 That's what this is! 307 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,526 Oh, we're gonna die. 308 00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:03,551 Dad, what are we gonna do? 309 00:15:03,620 --> 00:15:05,397 You think it's too early to tie our shirts 310 00:15:05,421 --> 00:15:07,605 around our heads to show we're going insane? 311 00:15:07,673 --> 00:15:09,840 I mean it, Dad. This is serious. 312 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,409 I did pants instead. 313 00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:14,112 Ugh! I don't feel so hot. 314 00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:15,546 What is wrong with me? 315 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,659 Have you taken a break since you started drinking? 316 00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:19,150 Not until right now. 317 00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,330 Do you feel like lying on the couch, rubbing your eyes, 318 00:15:21,354 --> 00:15:23,199 while listening to Lou Reed's "Perfect Day"? 319 00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:24,788 - Yes! - Then I'll tell you 320 00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,735 what's wrong with you. You got a hangover. 321 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,437 What can you do for a hangover? 322 00:15:28,461 --> 00:15:30,361 Well, Meg, so I don't have to think 323 00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,662 about my throbbing headache, 324 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,332 I try to think of something else, like a riddle. 325 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,034 Like, how would you describe Chris O'Donnell? 326 00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:40,505 Huh. He's not tall or short. 327 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,873 And he's not fat or thin. 328 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,543 Well, he's not handsome or ugly. 329 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:48,613 And he's not young or old. 330 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:51,149 He's not loud or quiet. 331 00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:54,084 Uh, he's not memorable, but-but I know who he is. 332 00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,120 Thanks, Dad! 333 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,988 I feel so much better. 334 00:15:58,057 --> 00:15:59,457 But you know who doesn't? 335 00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:01,825 Chris O'Donnell. Bye, dildo. 336 00:16:09,485 --> 00:16:11,886 Oh, no. Hard shoes on linoleum. 337 00:16:11,954 --> 00:16:13,120 That's a principal! 338 00:16:13,188 --> 00:16:15,200 Brian, a lot of people live in this building, 339 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:17,525 and you can't tell it's a principal just from a walk. 340 00:16:19,462 --> 00:16:22,596 Excuse me? May I have your attention, please? 341 00:16:22,665 --> 00:16:24,398 Okay, that's probably a principal. 342 00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:31,639 Hey. How are you today? What can I do for you? 343 00:16:31,707 --> 00:16:32,973 What do you want from me? 344 00:16:33,042 --> 00:16:35,092 Listen, it's... it's-it's not what you think. 345 00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:38,228 - Then what is it? - Well... I'm, um... 346 00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:39,908 I'm actually doing a documentary 347 00:16:39,932 --> 00:16:41,510 about some of the finest principals 348 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:44,535 - in the country, and... - Ow! Continue. 349 00:16:44,603 --> 00:16:46,971 "Finest principals in the country" and... 350 00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:49,340 Brian! 351 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,809 Stewie! Help me! 352 00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:53,411 How did I get here? 353 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,246 Well, to answer that, 354 00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,825 you'd have to go back a little while. 355 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:57,960 We're not doing that! 356 00:17:02,972 --> 00:17:04,171 We found this in a Dumpster 357 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,951 behind Principal Shepherd's building. 358 00:17:05,975 --> 00:17:07,742 That's it. That's-that's the bag! 359 00:17:07,810 --> 00:17:09,530 I guarantee his wife's in there. 360 00:17:13,349 --> 00:17:15,269 Ha! What's the matter, rook? Too heavy for you? 361 00:17:15,317 --> 00:17:17,150 I've actually been a cop for years. 362 00:17:17,219 --> 00:17:18,619 I have tummy cancer. 363 00:17:18,688 --> 00:17:20,754 Oh. Weird way to say that. 364 00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,875 What the hell? Bu-But I saw... 365 00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:27,194 - Yeah, well, what is all this? - Principal Shepherd, 366 00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:29,614 I think you've got some explaining to do. 367 00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:32,366 Look, I tried to tell you, I didn't kill my wife. 368 00:17:32,435 --> 00:17:34,936 She just texted me today that she's moved out 369 00:17:35,004 --> 00:17:36,603 and she's banging my cousin, 370 00:17:36,672 --> 00:17:38,472 Pat Sajak's accountant, by the way. 371 00:17:38,541 --> 00:17:40,252 It's a weird time to name drop. 372 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,188 And the food, well, I've been stealing it 373 00:17:42,212 --> 00:17:44,089 from the high school to make ends meet. 374 00:17:44,113 --> 00:17:46,413 My life's "kinda brute," as the kids say. 375 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,216 Sounds like you've had a rough day. 376 00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:51,452 No wonder you've got those bags under your eyes. 377 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,199 Have you ever heard of a company 378 00:17:53,223 --> 00:17:55,389 called Rodan and Fields? 379 00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:01,812 Ugh. Are all hangovers this bad? 380 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:04,514 Yup, that's the deal you make with the gods of fun. 381 00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:07,167 Every 72 hours, you lose a day. 382 00:18:07,236 --> 00:18:09,420 Dad, you're so sunburnt. 383 00:18:09,488 --> 00:18:11,539 I can't move because it hurts too bad. 384 00:18:11,607 --> 00:18:13,490 Ugh. This is awful. 385 00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:15,927 We don't even know if anyone's looking for us. 386 00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:17,907 Look, don't worry. We're gonna be okay. 387 00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,651 This is why you shouldn't drink. 388 00:18:19,698 --> 00:18:22,366 Booze is nothing but trouble, and you don't need it. 389 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,062 You got a good brain in your head. 390 00:18:24,086 --> 00:18:25,502 Thanks, Dad, 391 00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:27,704 and if this is what drinking makes you feel like, 392 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,284 you don't have to worry about it. 393 00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:31,209 I am done with booze. 394 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,144 Aw, I'm glad to hear that. 395 00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:35,079 And I'm sorry I pushed it on you. 396 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:38,049 I just... I just wanted to watch TV. 397 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,929 I don't want to see you waste opportunities 398 00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:43,220 'cause you were out partying. That's what I did. 399 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,083 You just worry about being you. 400 00:18:45,107 --> 00:18:46,456 Don't worry, Dad. 401 00:18:46,525 --> 00:18:48,558 I'll never be anything like you. 402 00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:50,261 That's my girl. 403 00:18:51,614 --> 00:18:53,497 Dad, look! 404 00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:58,152 Oh, my God. Meg, we're saved! 405 00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:05,976 Thank God you found us. 406 00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,978 We're so glad you picked us up... 407 00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:09,980 - Chris O'Donnell? - That's right. 408 00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:13,117 And I hope you like turbulence, dildos. 409 00:19:13,186 --> 00:19:14,763 The actual Chris O'Donnell 410 00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:17,154 is not a Coast Guard helicopter pilot. 411 00:19:17,223 --> 00:19:19,223 We assume he's probably too short. 412 00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:26,330 Oh, my God. Brian, are you okay? 413 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:29,033 - Yeah, I'm fine. - Annie, are you okay? 414 00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:31,702 So, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? 415 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:34,405 - What happened to her? - She was hit by, uh... 416 00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,524 She was struck by a smooth criminal. 417 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:37,974 That was fun, Mom. 418 00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:40,877 We don't get to do a lot of that kind of stuff together. 419 00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:43,481 Listen, Brian, we want you to come home again. 420 00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:46,851 Oh, so the Twitter pariah is finally welcome home? 421 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:49,937 No, but the school board hero dog is. 422 00:19:50,006 --> 00:19:51,438 It was all over the papers. 423 00:19:51,507 --> 00:19:53,941 You saved the school $206 424 00:19:54,010 --> 00:19:55,487 from all the food they recovered 425 00:19:55,511 --> 00:19:57,272 from Principal Shepherd's fridge. 426 00:19:57,296 --> 00:19:59,830 So... you really want me to come home? 427 00:19:59,898 --> 00:20:02,099 They're still gonna serve that food? 428 00:20:02,167 --> 00:20:03,800 Of course we do. 429 00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:06,987 Hey, where's everyone else? 430 00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:09,340 Oh, my God. Peter, what happened? 431 00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:11,709 What happened? A fair question. 432 00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:14,111 And to answer it, we have to go back a ways. 433 00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:15,257 Stop doing that thing! 434 00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:16,429 Aw. 435 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:22,719 Brian, I got to say, 436 00:20:22,788 --> 00:20:24,533 it's great to have you home again, buddy. 437 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,058 Well, it's great to be here. Living on my own was fun, 438 00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:29,166 but I couldn't stop thinking about all the stuff 439 00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:30,939 I was missing being away from you guys. 440 00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:32,774 Did you ever finish that banana, Brian? 441 00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:35,816 And, Meg, I hope you learned your lesson about drinking. 442 00:20:35,885 --> 00:20:39,353 Yeah, I think I'd rather live my life as a loser 443 00:20:39,421 --> 00:20:41,288 than feel bad once in a while. 444 00:20:41,357 --> 00:20:44,157 Well, I hope you know that you're our loser. 445 00:20:44,226 --> 00:20:45,559 Thanks, Mom. 446 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:55,786 If my life were better here, 447 00:20:55,854 --> 00:20:59,523 would I stop searching for it... up there? 33395

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.